I only realised half way through this that Eliza Holly is her married name but it makes it easier for me to distinguish who i am talking about.
tw: rape
Eliza explaining consent to angelica but it triggers bad memories for Eliza
July 1801
Eliza sat on the porch of the grange House. They had just had their first viewing with everything done. Alexander sat down beside her.
"I wish Peggy could have seen the house", she sighed. Alexander nodded in agreement.
Eliza stared out into the distance. She could see fields and mountains for miles.
"It's so quiet up here", she commented, patting the spot beside her. Alexander sat down beside her.
"You can see the Hudson and Harlem rivers over there", he pointed them out.
"What do you think this place will look like in 100 years?" Eliza asked him. He inhaled a deep breath, looking up at the house he had built.
"I could only hope that the house is still standing. It's hard to know. I imagine more people will move to New York. Maybe the inner city will expand", he shrugged. There's no way to know.
"Why do we only live for such a short time? Why can't we live forever?" Eliza pondered.
"I'd love to live forever with you", he wrapped his arms around her. Eliza smiled, leaning into him.
"But I don't think everyone would think the same as us. I know my mom wouldn't have. Living with my dad forever would have been hell", he sighed, rubbing his eyes.
"I would love for her to meet you. She would have loved you. Your family would have been like royalty on that island. No one had any money. It is not a life I'd like to live forever in", he understood all too well what it was like to go hungry for days, have no shelter or security. Maybe that's why he can't seem to say no to the kids. He wanted them to have everything he didn't have.
"I guess so. I just wish we didn't have to lose people, you know?" Eliza sighed. Alexander nodded. He knew.
"If I died, would you remarry?" Eliza asked him. He sighed.
"I think I'd have to. I'd need someone to look after the children but they could never replace you. I could never love someone like I love you", Alexander answered honestly. Eliza shrugged.
"You could hire a governess", she suggested. Alexander squeezed her.
"With what money?" He kissed her forehead. Eliza pulled away slightly.
"Ah, my Betsey. Asking questions she doesn't want to hear the answer to", he joked with her.
"Well I'm not gonna die till I'm 100 so you're not gonna ever replace me. I'll haunt you as a ghost if you do", she laughed. Alexander smiled. Eliza kissed Alexander.
"Eww Mom Papa we don't want to see that", Philip covered his eyes as him and his friends came into the house. His friends laughed, following him.
"Good evening, Mr and Mrs Hamilton", they greeted them.
"Good evening", Eliza smiled back at them. She stood up.
"They need food, they are growing men", she went and got the freshly baked cherry pies and glasses of sweet tea. They thanked her.
Eliza found Alexander playing in the garden with Eliza Holly. She really was a daddy's girl. Eliza grinned at the little girl's giggles. She hid under Eliza's skirts when Alexander chased after her.
"I have no problem getting in mommy's skirts too", he teased her. Eliza blushed.
"Alexander!" She corrected him. Alexander smirked.. He ran his hands along her thigh. Eliza moaned. Why did he do this out here?
He grabbed Eliza Holly from under the skirts, only she grabbed onto the skirts pulling Eliza down.
"Right that's enough", Eliza snapped. She went inside. Alexander carried Eliza Holly in after her. Eliza wiped the blood from her scraped hands.
"Sorry mommy", Eliza Holly gave her a kiss.
Alexander sent her into Angelica.
"You know. We still need to christen our bed", he wrapped his arms around her waist.
"Later. Knowing our luck one of the kids will walk in on us", she promised him. Alexander nodded. He knew she was right.
"Right. I'm going to sort out some paperwork. What's for dinner?" He kissed her cheek. Eliza glanced at the kitchen.
"Chips and battered fish", she ushered him up the stairs.
"Go. I don't want any late nights or excuses tonight. You're all mine", she warned him. Alexander laughed.
"You couldn't keep me away if you tried".
"How long will it take you to get to the office?" Eliza asked as he was half way up the grand, wooden stairs. He stopped to turn back to her.
"About 90 minutes", he told her. Eliza nodded. She would prepare some food for him to bring with him in the carriage for the journey. He was due in the office tomorrow.
"Give that back!" Angelica screamed at Philip. Eliza smiled at Alexander, going to check on what they were fighting over. She sat down on the couch to watch how they resolve it themselves.
"Mom. Angie has an admirer!" Philip said in a sing-song voice.
"I do not!" She denied his claims, trying to grab the letter.
"Well I believe writing poetry for someone to be a sign of admiration. Maybe he'll marry you", Philip laughed, giving her the letter. Angelica sighed.
"Okay he likes me but I don't like him and he won't stop hassling me", she admitted. Philip stopped harassing her .
"I'll tell him to back off", he shrugged. Angelica groaned.
"Why do I have to get you to do it? Why do men respect other men more than a woman's opinion?" Angelica asked, frustrated by the constant letters. She threw the letter in the fire. Philip shrugged.
"You wouldn't understand". Eliza picked up her knitting and continued the jumper she was making for William.
"Philip don't be like that". He shrugged before going outside to his friends.
After dinner, Alexander pulled Eliza aside.
"I've invited friends over this weekend. Prepare some of the rooms in case some stay overnight. We're going to be playing poker so I'll need you to host", he informed her.
Eliza smiled, nodding.
"Of course. Are any of the wives coming?", she kissed him before clearing the table with Angelica's help.
"No, don't think so", he responded as he left to go sit in the parlour. He often read a story to the younger children at night.
"William, Eliza Holly bath time", Eliza called to her children. William fused.
"I don't want a bath!" He groaned, running away from her. Philip caught him.
"Buddy it's quicker to just get it done and over with. Afterwards Mom will give you a cake for being good", Philip reasoned with his younger brother.
"Fine", William walked past Eliza into the bathroom.
"Thank you Philip".
"Mom", Angelica sat on her parents bed as Eliza took her out. Eliza glanced at her, letting her know she was paying attention.
"What is sex and why do you have to be married to do it?" She asked bluntly. Eliza paused what she was doing to look at her daughter.
"Sex is not something a young lady should be thinking about and because the bible says so", she dismissed her questions. Angelica sighed.
"Yeah but why are we blindly following a scripture without question. Wouldn't that be like blindly following a monarch and that didn't work out did it?" She reasoned. She had a good argument.
"Sex leads to pregnancy Angelica and if a woman is pregnant with another man's child, no man is going to marry her", she told her the truth.
"So you had sex 6 times?" Angelica gasped. Eliza held in a laugh. Yeah, at least 6 times.
"Yes, I have", she agreed with her.
"Are you pregnant right now?" Angelica asked. Eliza laughed.
"I hope not. I already have 6 of you", she joked.
"Then is having sex with someone before marriage rape?" Angelica asked her. Eliza felt her stomach drop. She didn't think this conversation would go that way.
"No, no it's not", Eliza picked up her hairbrush again. Her hand was shaking.
"But if you don't want it to happen it is rape?" Angelica was lying down on the bed looking up at the ceiling. Eliza inhaled a deep breath, blinking rapidly to stop herself from crying. She opened her mouth to speak but no words would come out. She looked down at her innocent daughter. She would do anything to make sure it never happened to her.
"Yes", Eliza answered her.
"Why would he do that?" Angelica shrugged. She didn't get it.
"I...I don't know, Angelica", her chest felt heavy, she scratched at it. "Can you stop with the questions?"
"Does it hurt?" Eliza got up.
"I said that's enough questions. Go settle in your room. Remember you've to be asleep by 10", Eliza helped Angelica up and locked the door behind her. She sank down to the ground behind the door, pulling her knees up to her chest. She inhaled shaky breaths.
"Fuck fuck fuck", she whispered when she heard Alexander's office door opening and shuting it again. The one time he actually finishes up work early. Eliza wiped the tears from her eyes before slowly standing up. The door handle twisted before Alexander knocked on it.
"Betsey?" He called her. Eliza looked in the mirror. Her eyes are red and her cheeks are puffy.
She opened the door, quickly turning away from him. He wrapped his arms around her waist. She stiffened.
"I'm sorry. I was just crying. Can you give me a few minutes?" She leant into him, relaxing in his arms.
"Of course. Everything okay?" He moved her hair over to one side before kissing her neck.
"Um. Yeah I'll be fine", she answered vaguely.
"Who's coming to the poker night?" She asked, not listening to the answer. They laid down on the bed, Eliza in his arms. Alexander kissed her forehead.
"I love you", he whispered to her. He told her who was coming to the poker night.
"Can we do this another night?" Eliza tensed up when Alexander kissed along her neck down to her collarbone.
He laid back down on his pillow, taking his arms away from her. She felt cold.
"Of course", he turned away from her.
Eliza sat up from the bed. She glanced down at her wrists. They were stinging her. Bruises lined them like a perfect bracelet. She washed them, attempting to get the bruises off. It didn't work.
"Who are they from?" Alexander asked her. Eliza looked at him through the mirror. She shrugged.
"Who are they from?" He pinned her against the wall. She could hear the anger in his voice.
"I can't remember", she felt like she had brain fog.
"Maybe your father was right", he growled at her, grabbing her wrist. Eliza winced, going with him. It hurt less if she didn't struggle.
"Sometimes women need a firm hand", he laughed. Eliza felt sick in her stomach.
"Isn't it Liza? Betsey? Eliza", he shouted at her but it sounded more distant.
"Betsey!"
She looked up to see Alexander lying beside her. She pushed herself away from him, hitting his hands when he stopped her from falling off the bed.
"Betsey you were dreaming", his voice sounded sleepy.
"I'm sorry. Sorry did I wake you?" She gripped his hand, inhaling deep breaths. She felt tears going down her cheeks. She wanted to tell him so badly. She had heard of women being divorced or accused of having an affair. Men were discussed by it.
"Yeah but it's okay", he smiled at her, sitting up.
"You're squeezing that quite tight", he joked but was kind of serious. "What did you dream about?"
Eliza glanced down at her wrists. She shook her head.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Don't cry", he whispered, giving her a big hug.
"I love you. You're the best of wives and best of women. I'll always be by your side. You're so beautiful and kind. You're the best mother to our children", he reassured her, despite not knowing what's wrong.
Eliza closed her eyes, inhaling the smell of her husband.
"I had a bad dream. You weren't kind and it scared me", she admitted. It wasn't the whole truth but it was something. He ran his fingers through her hair.
"You're safe now. I would never do that. You're safe", he nursed her back to sleep.
…
Eliza set the table with pancakes, strawberries, grapes, oranges, toast, butter and eggs. Alexander read them the news. He believed they should all be aware of current affairs.
"Can we go swimming in the lake today?" James asked. Alex nodded.
"I'll go with you", he agreed. Philip and John agreed to go too.
"There are guests coming over this evening so be inside and cleaned up by 6", Eliza told them.
"Yes, mom", Philip took charge.
"That includes you too Angelica, William and Eliza Holly", Alexander added.
"William, Eliza Holly I sent word to Aunt Angelica we're visiting her today", Eliza informed them. She got them dressed then got herself dressed.
"Can I come?" Angelica asked Eliza. She smiled at her daughter.
"Yes, Angelica you can come too. I'll appreciate the extra set of hands with the little ones", she commented.
"I'm heading into the office for a few hours", Alexander informed them. Eliza stood up, giving him a kiss.
"Don't lose track of time", she smirked at him knowing full well he probably would.
Eliza Holly gave him a kiss before he left.
Angelica helped her mother to get the little kids dressed.
"Eliza Holly, this is the third time I have told you to put on your bonnet", Eliza scolded her. Eliza Holly covered her ears.
"La la la la la I don't want it. It's itchy. La la la", she walked out to the carriage. Eliza grabbed it to bring with her but she wasn't going to argue with her.
"Aunty!" William ran to give Angelica a hug. Eliza carried Eliza Holly inside. Once she placed her down she gave Angelica a hug.
"How are you? You look amazing. I love the new dress. Alexander actually kept his word; new dress, new house", Angelica bought her into the drawing room. They sat by the fire.
"Thank you. I'm good. You look amazing yourself, as always", Eliza smiled, taking tea from Angelica.
"Tell me everything. How's Alexander? What is the house like?" Angelica leaned forward slightly. The excitement was bouncing off of her.
"Alexander is good, he's working as always. The office is a little further away now it is worth it for the house. There is an astonishing view of the Hudson and Harlem river. I would love to get it commissioned. I never thought I would say this but Alexander has a great eye for interior design", she laughed.
"I believe a visit is overdue then", Angelica grinned. Eliza glanced down at her wrists.
"You look you've seen a ghost, dearest sister", Angelica commented. She stood up, taking Eliza's hand. Eliza bit her lip. Angelica knew what happened.
"I keep having dreams about my wrists being covered in bruises", she scratched her neck, glancing at the door.
"Oh Betsey", Angelica hugged her.
"Here", Angelica tied ribbon in bows around both of Eliza's wrists. It was something a little kid would do. Eliza giggled, wiping her eyes.
"I mean gloves would do too" she smiled at her older sister.
"Does Alexander know?" Angelica asked her. Eliza inhaled a deep breath. Should he?
"No", Eliza shook her head.
"Good. Don't tell him. Men don't understand", Angelica warned her. She nodded, undoing the ribbon on her wrists.
"We're having guests over later. I would be sure to raise a few eyebrows if I had this on", Eliza shrugged.
She gathered the children and headed back home.
Eliza prepared food for their guests. She checked the time. The guests would be arriving soon and Alexander was nowhere to be seen. She rolled her eyes. Of course he was late.
She served and entertained them until Alexander arrived. He kissed her.
"Thank you. You're the best", he smiled. She nodded, heading into the hall as soon as he arrived. He followed her out of the room.
"Where are you going?" He questioned her. Eliza shrugged.
"I'm tired. I'm going to retire to bed", she told him. He grabbed her arm to stop her.
"Eliza, I need you to entertain", he repeated frustrated with her. Eliza pulled her arm away.
"Let me go", she whispered, barely able to get sound out. She also didn't want to cause a scene.
"Not until you do what I asked of you", he pulled her back towards the party. No. No. No.
Eliza covered her ears like a kid.
"La la la la I can't hear you", she smirked at him. He laughed at her.
"Betsey seriously", he kissed her hands, pulling them away from her ears. Eliza nodded.
"I'll be down in ten minutes. I promise". That pleased him. Eliza slid down against the wall. She felt her chest tighten. She fidgeted with her hands.
"Un deux trois quatre cinq six sept huit neuf dix", she repeated to herself.
"Well aren't you a fine thing", one of the men complimented her on her way downstairs. Eliza tensed.
"Need I remind you sir that I am married", she scolded him. Philip grabbed Eliza's hand, leading her back to the party.
"Thank you", Eliza smiled at him. "He wouldn't leave me alone earlier".
…
"Mrs Hamilton, you're shaking", Adalyia commented. As she was helping Eliza out of her dress.
"Do you feel safe with Mr Hamilton?" She asked her. Eliza frowned.
"What? No. I feel safe. That's not why I'm…it wasn't Alexander", Eliza stumbled on her words. "What wasn't Alexander?" He asked her as he sat on the bed. He smiled at her.
"But thank you for making sure that I feel safe", she whispered to Adalyia before she left.
"Uhh it's nothing", Eliza dismissed him.
"No I want to know what you were talking about", he stripped down. Eliza sighed. She could just tell him. She hung up his clothes.
"I got a little nervous this evening. She was asking if I was okay", Eliza froze. She hoped he wouldn't question it more. He nodded.
"One of the gentlemen was a bit too frisky before you arrived. He even stopped me on the staircase this evening. Philip had to escort me back to the party", Eliza confessed. Alexander sat up slightly.
"Who?" He frowned, thinking back on who was there. Eliza shook her head.
"I don't want you going to challenge anyone to a duel", she cupped his cheeks before kissing him. He sighed.
"Eliza it won't go that far if they apologise. You shouldn't be treated like a wrench"
Eliza cuddled into him, falling asleep immediately.
She sighed when she woke up to a cold bed.
"Where's your Pa gone?" Eliza yawned as she checked Alexander's office. Philip rubbed his eyes.
"He's gone to sort of some business with the men that were here yesterday", Philip stretched before going into Alexander's office. He had to spend till 1 studying on a Saturday morning. Eliza bit her lip as she shook her head. Of course, Alexander would go ask Philip.
"Mom, Angelica tells me everything. You should talk to Pa. He might be able to get that girl some justice so at least one can have peace", he shrugged, leaving it up to her.
Eliza inhaled a deep breath, watching the closed door.
…
"Mom, I'm going into town to meet my friends. I'll see you later", Philip popped in the room before walking into town. Eliza nodded. She was sitting on the floor, playing with Eliza Holly.
"See you later Pip. Do you have enough money?" She asked him. Philip nodded.
"Yeah. Pa gave me 4 dollars", he waved. Eliza smiled at where he was standing a moment ago. They grow up so quickly. She couldn't wait to see his little children running around.
"Different game. I the mommy and you the baby", Eliza Holly declared. Eliza smiled at her.
"Okay. I'm going to take a nap", she lied down on the couch. Eliza Holly giggled as she tucked her mother in. She picked up Eliza's knitting needles.
"Careful", Eliza sat up, making sure she wouldn't poke an eye out.
"I am mommy. I always careful", Eliza Holly stood up on the chair and kissed Eliza.
"Mom can we go to the park?" James and John asked her.
"I can't but you two are free to go", she told them. They grinned.
Alexander knocked on the wall. He sat down watching them. Eliza leaned her head in his lap.
"I love you", she smiled as he ran his fingers through her hair.
Eliza Holly ran over, jumping into Alexander's lap.
"No. No!" She reminded Eliza. Alexander frowned. Eliza laughed.
"She's the mommy and I'm the baby", Eliza explained to him. Alexander lifted Eliza Holly onto the ground beside Eliza.
"I want this mommy though", Alexander held Eliza's hand. Eliza Holly pouted, leaning on their linked arms. Alexander pulled her into his arms, tickling her.
"You're papas little girl and I don't want thou growing up so fast", he kissed her forehead.
Eliza Holly jumped on the couch, bored with playing mommy's and daddy's.
"Get your butt on that couch, misses ,'' Eliza warned her. She immediately sat down. She giggled, climbing down. Eliza Holly held her hands out like she was saying all gone.
"Where Angie?" She asked.
"She's in her room", Alexander told her. She ran off to find her big sister.
Eliza smiled at Alexander.
"How was your day?" She sat up, picking up her skirts. Alexander stood up before helping her up.
"I got a good bit of work done. It's a very nice day out. I've a case next week. I'll have to go to Albany and go from there. I wanted to spend time with you till then", he explained to her.
"Let's go for a walk", she suggested. "But after this". She sat him down on the couch, sitting in his lap to kiss him.
"Eww", James covered his eyes, turning back out of the room. Alexander laughed.
"Aww you're blushing. It's perfectly normal to see your parents being affectionate", he reassured her.
"Come let's take a walk", Eliza got up, putting on her hat and handing Alexander his coat. There can be quite a cold breeze in the afternoon.
Thanks for reading. im not looking forward to writing the stay alive/its quiet uptown part