Game of Thrones Tales: Lannister Family Values
Summary: In an alternative universe, King Robert calls on a different old friend and brother to assist him. But whose decency, kindness, and sense of honor, while a bit different from Ned Stark's are equally strong. But are the family values of House Addams a match for the ruthless Lannisters?
Part LXVII…
The Wall…Early morning reveille…
"So Lord Gomez is at last on his way to us…" the erect and well, monumental, in his polished black, Lord Monumental eyed the group of Rangers and Stewards, and various intermediate types not quite that good at either…Jon Snowed in forefront.
"And you, Watchpersons all, must see to it that he finds us more than a silly bunch of doddering old fools, criminal scum, and disposable twit sons of the rich trying to seem like an effective border force…"
"Aye, my Lord…" Ser Allister, grimly eyeing the bunch from Monumental's right side…Sneering tone. "If you'll but let me kick these worthless wussbags into proper shape, we'll show the new Hand a force of men who are men…We'll show him raw courage, daring, and the finest cutlery, dining, and service north of Kings Landing…"
"Watchman Snowed will be in charge of the party assisting the Lord Hand Addams…" Monumental noted, firmly.
"You'd hand the Hand over to a soft, rich man's bastard boy…?" Ser Allister frowned.
Slight nod, quick thumb's up and smile to Jon…I know you'll do a bang-up job, Jonny! Just gotta keep it impartial and fire the rest of the boys up to snuff, ya know, sidelong wink.
"A pretty sack of guts fit only for a rich man's bed or an elegant brothel? Him, my Lord? Let me and my best show you just how unmanly and unfit this worthless bastard is. Eh, you soft worthless pretty boy? Snowed? Willing to let us show you how unworthy you are of holding the rank of Ranger? Step up here, you sack of sweet breads unfit for your uniform!"
Monumental frowning…Gods, sometimes this foolish show of Allister's is too much…
Still, he does maintain discipline and is generally a good trainer…And Jon doesn't really mind now he's on to the situation, he being our best and fittest to pit all new recruits against.
"If it's your command, Ser Allister…" Jon, nodding and stepping forward.
You, you, and you, and you…No, not you…" Ser Allister corrected, peering at the hefty lad wheezing in the group.
"How the demons of darkness did you get among my boys?" he stared as the more than burly boy stumbled back.
As if we didn't know…Monumental rolled eyes to Aemon beside him. Allister is always putting the kids most likely to be skewered in combat into his group to give them a chance to utterly fail at practice and join the Stewards.
Still, shows a good heart…And to our knowledge, he's never taken advantage…
Forced advantage…
…
"So…You haven't left the confines. How fortunate." Taro Trumpo Don eyed the group before him and his alarm-summoned phalanx of guards in the main hallway near the entrance to the dungeon complex, all in so far as Phat Pree's testing could confirm before his recent sad demise, heat-resistant armor, bearing (again, so far as it was known) heat-resistant shields.
"For whom?" Ser Jonah now erect in his battered yet still magnificent armor eyed him coolly…
Whoa…Rachel, Danerys…Drogon and Reallygone…Most of the guards, a few standard criminal prisoners peering from their cells…As well…
For a usually severely depressed, recently burned half to death after considerable mistreatment, unarmed guy facing overwhelming odds and a rather bullying sadistic psycho dictator…Tres macho.
Damn…Chancellor Don looking about at the impressed guards and group…Even Eerie, now in armor in the Guard ranks as Captain…Hey, Doofraki woman, here me roar a lot louder than most of the boys of Barth, fer sure…Bearing her shield…Looked impressed.
Et tu, Eerie, my designated future chief concubine and Guard Captain? Et, tu? Don glared…She glancing back to him, slight shrug…
Come on, the guy's a minor red-haired Athenian/Bravvos style god in early middle age, keeping his looks and build…And so tragically noble, given anyone can see he's gaga over blondie but can never hope…Probably fortunately given her likely nutty genetic inheritance…To have her.
F-! No one out machos Trumpo Don, future Emperor of All!…Especially quietly and nobly, instead of in loud, crude, and blusteringly belligerent tones.
"Why for you, schmuck." Don glared. Calming…Ok, it's cool… I can do the charming evil as good as any villain…"Your Highness and my dear bride to be…" turning to Danerys. "You've been misled by this evil former close associate of mine and her father of sorts…By the way, where are your sisters and surviving brother?" he eyed Rachel. She offering shrug…
Hardly my sestras and brother's keeper, moi.
"Brothers, don't you mean…?" Danerys, annoyed. "You had a clone army all along. Though Phat Pree is now permanently fat free. My boys flamed him. And where is Viserion, by the way?"
"The army was a wedding gift and actually not yet complete given we couldn't activate them till we had the cure, courtesy you and your…Children." Trumpo Don smiled. "And while we may have had some differences recently, I still remain willing to enfold you into my family and vast wealth, dear. Come now, as you can see, my Guard is protected from your dragons by their special shields and this new high-tech armor. Lets send these people away and spend a few precious moments getting to know each other better before our wedding in one hour."
"Don't listen to him, Highness." Rachel, doing her best "dutiful follower and adviser" earnest… "Only my father could control any army of clones. He'd never have entrusted this fellow with command control. Besides, we can make our own army after we burn his."
"Bitch." Don, darkly. "But not quite as well informed as you think…I didn't fully trust…Heck I never trusted my partner, your father…And while my scholars may not have been his equal, they could ensure the clone army could be controlled by me as well, after his sad demise. Thanks, by the way, for eliminating him, dearest." Smile to Danerys. "He'd outlived his usefulness…As have his 'children'…" sneer at Rachel.
"Now that you see I hold all the cards…" he paused. "Oh, wait…" sneering smile… "There's one more thing…Viserion!" he called.
What? Danerys stared. Drogon and Reallygone stared…As did Rachel, Ser Jonah, the surviving Doofraki…Now more than a little convinced they might have chosen the losing side by sticking with the blonde shiksa…
Viserion flying over to hover above Trumpo Don…Eyeing Danerys…A bit scornfully.
"So, you've found a way to control the dragons using Father's process?" Rachel eyed Don.
Cool…You know, I could still be open to an alliance.
"Like I said…" he smiled archly. "My boys couldn't match your dad one-on-one for genius…But there were a lot more of them, backed by my vast wealth and some loans I got from my former councilmates."
Geesh bro…? Drogon, Reallygone staring…What'd the sob do to you? Grrr…Eyeing Don.
Two to one…Not bad odds air power wise…Ser Jonah reflected. Though mitigated by the approximately fifty…No, sixty…He eyed the guards before him and then those lining the upper balcony, crossbows drawn…to twelve…Nope, as two Doofraki prostrated themselves before Eerie…Ten.
Nope, nine…
And if those shields and armor hold…And given Viserion and our own lack of shielding it might not be wise to put things to that test…
"Viserion?! Stop listening to that jerk and come over here. This is Mom talkin!" Danerys, stamping foot. Viserion eyeing her coolly.
Yeah…Maybe I'm "controlled" and maybe I just get much better treats and a really plush pad from new Dad. Plus, a promise of a hot dragon babe clone in the future…
"Boys!" she turned to the other dragons hovering above her…
"Khannessi! I wouldn't…" Ser Jonah, urgently.
"No problem, I won't burn…I think…" she shrugged.
Right…He sighed.
Fine…What am I here for but to roast at your command…? Oh, and there go all but two of our remaining Doofraki. One, out of her mind since the desert crossing, the other deaf…Ok.
"I wouldn't count on that, dearest." Don eyed her. "You may be fire-resistant but even Targaryens feared dragonfire, according to the old legends. And you're most certainly not arrow-proof. Please, lets discuss this rationally, like a sensible couple."
Hmmn…She eyed Viserion…Then Drogon and Reallygone…Who shrugged as best they could…No clue, Mom.
And I know I'm not arrow-proof…Sigh.
Well…
"You really have a clone army…That really will follow you? Is that possible?" Danerys turned to Rachel.
Yeah…I'm clone expert now…Natch. Frown…
Well, maybe I could work it into "natural philosophy geek". Always been a little jealous of how Cosima and Dad hit it off over natural philosophy…
Geesh…Dad…Sigh.
You may have used us and creeped me personally out a bit…But you were all the "Dad" we had and I will avenge you…When time and opportunity permit…
Well…Probably, given it coincides with my ambitious schemes to power to control and use the woman who killed you. For Father's Day, maybe I'll throw in some humiliation? Cut to shot …"I'm scrubbing this castle floor in rags cause I lost to Rachel, Daughter of Matt/Phat Pree…My mistress and the true Queen…" blank-eyed Danerys pausing in scrubbing.
Yeah, he'd like that…
"It could be…" she nodded to Danerys. "The control process should be workable on anyone, though in such numbers, he'd've had to get into the primary matrix during their development. And yes, Dad was creating a pretty large army which he had figured out how to advance to adulthood much more quickly than us…"
The old model…Though at least we were designed generally for independent thought…
"And had to keep in preactivation state due to the fire illness that affected them and us…No doubt his primary reason for seeking the cure." Slight sigh.
"No doubt…" Trumpo Don sneered.
Uh, as Rachel suddenly teared up and the others…Including his own guards and Eerie…Eyed him…
Boss…Eerie a bit disappointed…One thing to be domineering, crudely blustering evil and another to be just plain…Nasty.
"Though I'm sure he was eager to help you all…" Don, hastily… "But come, you and your…Four?...Remaining followers…" slight smile.
And I've no doubt Rachel is a bit iffy…
"…Can see for yourselves…Bring them to the main containment area." He motioned. "Come, my sweet pet…" turning with guards covering him carefully and waving for the group of five to follow…Ser Jonah kindly urging the demented Doofraki along…
He means me…Viserion, slight arch sneer at the startled Danerys…Drogon, Reallygone rolling eyes.
Uh-huh… "Controlled". Right.
Always knew you were a prick, Viserion.
Really? Show them the whole setup, give the Speech about world domination?…Allow them a chance to foul up the whole works instead of just grabbing them and putting a controller thing into the blonde? A junior Guard hissed to Eerie… "I don't mean to question the Chancellor but sounds a bit arrogantly stupid…And cliched."
"It is known…" she sighed.
…
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