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Chapter 68 – Bachelor Party

It was late. They had all played in the Zero Gravity room for hours. After a bite to eat, The Doctor tucked Jacob, Tony and Genie all into their beds. Completely worn out, Genie was already asleep before they got back to their room. Jacob fell asleep as soon as he lay down. As The Doctor turned to walk out of the bedroom, he heard Tony's voice.

"John." Tony said quietly.

He turned around and looked back in the room. "Yeah, Comrade."

Tony motioned for him to join him. The Doctor walked over and sat on the side of his bed. "What's wrong my little brother?"

"Are you going to stay on Earth with us now that you have a ship? Or will you go back home to your family?" Tony asked him.

The Doctor sighed as he took Tony's hand. "You are my family now. I don't plan to leave Earth. Don't worry about that."

Tony asked him quietly. "But, what if someone finds out you aren't from Earth? Will they take you away? Arrest you?"

He ran his hand through Tony's ginger hair and smiled. "If someone reports an alien on Earth, do you know what they do?"

Tony shook his head.

"They report him to the Director of Torchwood. Your Dad and I are the Directors of Torchwood. So, don't worry about that. A lot of people live on Earth that didn't start out there. It's not a big deal." He told him.

"Everyone thought Rose was an alien. They tried to take her away."

The Doctor bit his lip at the memory. "Yeah, they did. But, our Rose isn't an alien. And she's safe. We're all safe. That's why we have Lewis, Legate, Poltoius, and all of the rest of those guys. They won't let anything happen to us. I won't let anything happen to us."

Tony smiled, "Because that's what love is."

He smiled back at him. "That's exactly right. Don't worry about this, little brother. I love you, very much. You are safe and you will remain safe. Always. You are under my protection."

Tony nodded his head as he settled in and closed his eyes. The Doctor leaned down and kissed him on the forehead. He whispered, "Good night, Comrade."

He didn't open his eyes, "Good night, Brother."

The Doctor sat and watched him for a few minutes, smiling. After he was sure he had gone to sleep, he walked out of the room. He ran his hand through his hair as he walked through the sitting room. "Friday, turn down the lights to 5%"

"Yes, Captain My Captain." Friday replied which caused the Doctor to laugh under his breath. He walked into the bedroom he shared with Rose. She lay on the bed, fast asleep. Sam lay next to her on his back, asleep. The Doctor picked Sam up carefully, and laid him in the crib at the end of the bed. He pulled the duvet and tucked Rose in. He smiled at her as he watched her sleep. He laid his hand on her head and told her, 'I adore you. You are what is most precious to me in all of my lives. Sleep well, and I'll see you in the morning.'

Rose smiled in her sleep.

He leaned down and kissed her forehead, then walked out of the door.

The Doctor ran his hand through his hair as he walked to the Control Room. Gobbo and Poltoius were in there together, playing cards. "How are things, guys?"

They looked up and greeted him. Gobbo shook his head and smiled. "All is good here. We're well underway. Everything looks great. We'll handle flight. Everyone else is down in the hanger. Lewis told us if we saw you, to send you down there."

The Doctor put his hands on his hips. "Really? Why?"

Poltoius looked back at him. "In a word. Shenanigans."

"Shenanigans?"

Poltoius nodded as he returned to the card game. "Oh yes. Shenanigans. With that crew, that's defiantly what's going on down there."

The Doctor smiled as he walked out of the control room and to the hanger. Once he got there, he looked around and didn't see anyone. He put his hands on his hips.

'Lewis, where the hell are you?' he asked him through the Quauhtin connection.

'Legate's ship. Get your ass in here!' Lewis told him.

The Doctor smiled as he walked over to the ship and Lewis opened the door quickly for him. He waved him in. "Wonderful! I was hoping you could get away!"

The Doctor climbed inside. Lewis shut the door behind him as the men inside cheered at his arrival. He laughed at the scene in front of him. Jack sat next to Tony, who was pouring them both another drink. Legate sat in the corner with his guitar as he played some song. Logan laughed in disbelief at the situation he found himself in. Lance and Lewis pulled another crate over full of Howie's Damn Whiskey. Timon held his glass up and toasted his arrival.

Lewis sat down and poured The Doctor a glass. "Here you are, Doc'. Get caught up to us."

The Doctor sat down next to Lewis. "Is everyone of you toasted?"

Jack pointed at Logan. "It's alright. Logan is our designated driver."

Tony slapped Logan on the back. "Good man! Taking one for the team."

Logan held his hands out. "I really hope you are kidding that we're going to take this shuttle out. I don't know how to drive it!"

The Doctor laughed quietly at him. "Oh, don't worry. We can't launch anything while we are traveling this fast. They are just messing with you, Logan. Go on and drink. I won't tell your mum. Enjoy yourself. You're of age."

Tony handed him a drink, which Logan politely refused. Tony drank it himself. Then pointed at Logan. "You know, Logan. Drinking can cause memory loss. Or even worse, memory loss."

They all laughed at Tony.

The Doctor looked over at Lewis. "How long have they been at this?"

"I'm not sure. A while."

"How drunk are you?" he asked Lewis.

"About a 7. Nice and toasty." Lewis smiled as he took another drink.

Lance rolled his eyes. "Last time he got drunk, he went home with a woman that he couldn't speak her language!"

Tony laughed at him, "I bet he learned some that night!"

They all laughed at him. Lewis ran his hand though his hair. "Hey. Hey. We don't talk about things that happened when I was drunk. 'Drunk me' and 'sober me' are not on speaking terms."

Jack laughed at him, "Ahhhh! Good for you, though. It worked out, right?"

Lance laughed at him. "Yeah, not like when we were in training."

Lewis covered his face. "We don't have to bring that up."

Lance, smiled as he pointed at Lewis. "This guy got drunk off his ass the first time they let us out."

Trying to understand, Logan asked, "Like on a liberty?"

Lance nodded. "Yes. That's what you would call it. We all went to a bar and Lewis had a bit to drink. Well, a lot to drink."

Lewis laughed, "A whole lot to drink. I won't deny it."

Lance smiled, "And he went home with some woman. Shagged her as much as one can imagine for what?"

Lewis rubbed his face in embarrassment. "Two months I believe. I don't remember."

They all looked surprised, as Lance continued his story. "Never asked her name, or anything about her."

Lewis shrugged his shoulders. "Never needed to know."

Lance smiled, "Then one day, he sleeps in and is late for our morning muster. The commanding officer comes to fetch him and finds that Lewis has been shagging his wife the entire time! She had ever said anything!"

They all roared in laughter.

Legate looked shocked. "Holy shit! That was you? They still tell that story!"

Timon toasted him. "Well done! Lewis is the Legend!"

Jack shook his head. "You were shagging your commanding officers' wife? How did you not get kicked out of training?"

The Doctor looked shocked, "Or killed?"

Lewis smiled embarrassed, "My brother helped me out of it. I was transferred."

The Doctor pointed at Lance. "Lance, you did that?"

Logan realized, "Oh! That's why you two look alike. You are brothers. Are you twins?"

Lance and Lewis looked at one another and smiled. They looked back at the room and shook their heads. "No, not really twins."

The Doctor could sense there was more to that. "Not really. What does that mean?"

Lewis rubbed his face. "Lance and I are two of four. We are ummm…. what is it called?"

Jack gasped. "Quadruplets! Holy fuck!"

The Doctor was amazed. "I didn't know this about you two! Really?"

Lance and Lewis nodded their heads.

Lance spoke. "We have two other brothers. Licio and Luce. Luce works in the Quauhtin Central Records. He ordered my file sealed because he felt that it wasn't completely my fault. Licio is a guard with another Royal family someplace. Not sure where."

The Doctor was amazed at this bit of news. "Wow! Quadruplets. Wow!"

Jack asked him. "I'm not familiar, but is that common for Quauhtin?"

Lewis shook his head. "No. It's very rare."

Legate was amazed, "Does Summus know about this?"

Lewis asked, "About the other brothers, yes. I think so."

"No, about the woman?" Tony asked.

He shook his head. "No. I was told by Luce to not let him know. It would harm my chances of being in the Guard."

The Doctor put it together in his head. "Sam knew. Didn't he?"

Lewis smiled, "Who do you think covered for me those two months?"

They all laughed.

The Doctor laughed as he walked over to a panel behind Legate. He pressed a button and turned a knob in the wall. Legate watched him. Realizing what he did, he nodded approvingly. "Great idea. Nice!"

Tony noticed as The Doctor sat back down and poured himself another drink. "What did you do?"

Jack laughed, "He's a junkie. He turned up the oxygen. What is it up to?"

The Doctor smiled, "42%. Twice what you need, four times what I need. Six times what these Quauhtin need."

Tony laughed. "That will get this party started! It won't run out?"

Legate laughed. "No. It has a recycler."

The Doctor started to feel lightheaded. "Maybe this will help with my concussion. You think?"

Lewis rolled his eyes. "Couldn't hurt!"

Jack laughed, "This guy! When we used to travel together, he would turn up the oxygen in the TARDIS to 60%. We would be trashed and trying to fly through the Time Vortex."

The Doctor smiled, "Some of my finest work, actually."

Lance laughed at him. "How many people did you need to fly your other ship?"

"Just me. Well. It was supposed to have six pilots, but I managed by myself."

Jack laughed, "You should have seen him. He would dance around that control panel like a ballerina! It was something!"

Tony laughed, "I see where Genie gets it! Oh! Before I forget. Here, man." Tony dug around in his pocket and handed the Doctor a small box.

"What is this?" he asked.

"Those small screens. I dare you to try them out. Go on, put them on." Tony told him.

The Doctor opened the box and took them out. He put the contacts in his eyes and blinked. They felt odd. He looked at Tony.

"Okay. They feel weird. Now what?" he asked.

"Tell, Friday you have them." Tony told him.

The Doctor nodded, "Friday. I've got these strange contacts from Tony now….whoa."

Tony laughed hysterically at the look on the Doctor's face. "Like it, huh? It's my start up screen. I don't remember her name, but she was hot."

Lewis looked at the Doctor in surprise. "What the hell?"

As the system came on, the Doctor started to see Friday's text overlaid with everyone he could see. It printed out everyone's names, their known identities, and any information Friday knew about them. With the Quauhtin, it blinked their information.

Tony looked at him seriously, "Okay. You notice that, too. Why does it do that? I know you have a simple answer."

"What, with the Guard?" The Doctor asked him.

"Yeah, they blink. Do you see that?" Tony asked.

"Well, that's simple. Let's see if Logan can figure it out."

Logan looked back at the Doctor. "I'm sorry. They do what?"

"Blink. Like they aren't really there. It's odd." Tony explained.

Logan looked at Legate. "Well, he explained at to me at dinner. They aren't really there. Not all of the time. They pop in here and around the perimeter. It's how they know what's going on all over. Right?"

The Doctor smiled proudly. "I honestly didn't think you would know that. Well done, Logan. Good job, Legate!"

Legate played some song on his guitar as he nodded at Logan. "It's no problem. Summus told us to get him up to speed. He catches on extremely quick."

Jack laughed as he held up his glass. "Let me get everyone up to speed and tell you a story."

The Doctor rubbed his face. He was feeling extremely lightheaded from the oxygen in the cabin. "Oh, shit. I wonder about who?"

Jack pointed at The Doctor. "Once upon a time. We were on a little planet called Piscium-"

"Oh the gods! Don't tell this story. Oh wow!" The Doctor moaned.

Tony held his hand out. "Lewis. Gag him. Go on with your story, Jack."

Lance walked over and playfully held his hands on the Doctor's chest. "He's restrained, sir!"

They all laughed. Lance sat back down next to him.

"This guy and myself had been drinking for days. I think. I lost track. We traveled through time several times so time got all messed up as far as how long the day was. But, we kept drinking….what were we drinking?"

The Doctor smiled, "I don't even remember. I wasn't that bad."

Jack raised an eyebrow. "He was drunk as fuck."

"As fuck! My favorite unit of measurement!" Tony laughed.

They all laughed as The Doctor rubbed his face and took another drink. "Don't believe this, Logan. It's not true."

Jack nodded. "Oh, it's true. We ended up on Piscium, in this restaurant to get some dinner. Instead we drank some more."

"He drank some more. Not me." The Doctor added.

Jack smiled, "We both drank some more. Then these girls came over. This guy leaves with both of them! Didn't leave me one!"

Tony looked back in shock. "Both! Really?"

The Doctor shook his head. "No. Not true."

Jack laughed. "Took them back to a hotel. Apparently, one had a boyfriend-"

"No, it was a husband." The Doctor corrected him.

Jack nodded, "Right. Husband. That's right. And he was a soldier. So, this guy dives out of a window, ass naked-"

"I wasn't naked." The Doctor shook his head.

"Naked." Jack insisted. "He disarmed five soldiers and ran off. He looked like a little, naked squirrel….running off."

They all howled in laughter. The Doctor shook his head and smiled. "No, don't believe it. It's not true."

Jack looked insulted. "What part of that wasn't true? Tell it."

The Doctor was a bit tongue tied. "I wasn't naked. I was wearing my socks. It doesn't count."

Tony pointed at him, "AHHHHH! Naked! Two women! Holy shit!"

Lewis patted him on the back. "I'll never look at you the same way again."

The Doctor laughed, "It wasn't like that. Don't believe it."

Tony laughed as he leaned on Jack's shoulder. "Naked squirrel. That was great!"

Jack pointed at Legate. "How about you? They say you are the ladies' man here on this ship."

Legate smiled, "Nah. You're misinformed."

Lance smiled at him. "I heard about you doing 'The Batman'. Tell that story."

Legate smiled. "Oh yeah. That."

Jack rubbed his hands together. "Oh, this will be good."

Legate chuckled. "This is a good story. I'm not embarrassed about it. It could have happened to anyone. I had just found out I was going to be able to join the Prime Guard here on Earth, so I got a book about the culture. Inside the book, it told the story of Batman. You lot know about Batman, I'm sure."

"Fictional character. Bruce Wayne. Yeah." Tony agreed.

Legate continued. "It fascinated me. How no one could figure out it was him when all he wore was a mask. So, the girl I was dating at the time decided to give me a farewell present and had me dress up in a mask and cape for our last night together before I left. I climbed up on the dresser and dove onto the bed. Hit my head on the top of the ceiling and knocked myself out."

They all laughed. Lewis shook his head. "I've not heard this story. Did she come pick you up on the floor?"

Legate smiled. "No. She was tied to the bed. She could just lay there and scream for help. She thought I had killed myself. It was bad. The manager of the building had to come in with emergency personal. I woke up in the hospital the next morning with a concussion. She refuses to speak to me, still."

Jack threw his head back and howled in laughter. "That is awesome! Batman. We should get Lewis a cape for a wedding present."

Legate smiled and suggested, "Don't tie her up. I don't want to have to rescue her if you knock your ass out."

They all laughed.

The Doctor pointed at Tony. "I'm sure you have one. Go on."

Tony took a drink and then settled on his story. "Alright. I guess I'll tell this one. I was at this hotel. Some chick and I were in the shower. Oh, she was hot. But, she was really tall. So, I had to figure out someway to you know, get up to her. I ended up putting my foot in the soap dish that they have on the side of the shower. Well, don't do that. That damn thing broke and I crashed in the floor taking her down with me. I could barely walk for days. I ended up having Rhodey take me to the hospital and found out I had broken my damn tailbone."

They all laughed at him.

The Doctor smiled, "Worth it?"

Tony shook his head. "I honestly don't think it was. That took a long time to recover from. And I won't even have soap trays in my showers now. Pepper finds it strange. I've never told her why."

Lewis looked at The Doctor and pointed at Jack. "Tell us one on him."

The Doctor rubbed his beard and thought. "Well, there was the time he was naked on telly on Satellite Five."

Jack waved it off. "Ah, they got the best ratings of their life. Tell something else."

"The time you kissed the Epsilon, and were poisoned by her fangs." The Doctor suggested.

Jack shook his head. "I have no regrets. I could shit blue for a week again if I saw her."

The Doctor took a drink snapped his fingers. "Oh! I've got it! I need to tell Jake this one."

Jack shook his head. "You can tell him anything you like. We have no secrets."

The Doctor grinned, "Right. There was one time, Jack checked into some hotel with some bloke from someplace. I can't remember where. He fell asleep-"

"Oh, fuck! DO NOT TELL THIS!" Jack insisted as he dove across the cabin and tackled The Doctor who was laughing so hard he couldn't speak. The Doctor held his glass of whiskey in one hand as they wrestled around until the Doctor pinned Jack down on the ground. He held him down as he sipped his drink.

"Right. Where was I? Yes! My story."

Jack laughed as he shook his head. "I can't believe you are going to tell this shit. Let me up, man." Jack tried to push the Doctor off, but he sat comfortably and sipped his whiskey as Jack struggled underneath him.

"So, Jack fell asleep. The guy he was with, put a bit of chocolate between his ass cheeks."

Tony laughed, "What?"

Jack laughed, "It was a hotel! The chocolate they put in the hotels."

The Doctor laughed, "He gets up the next morning, gets dressed in a hurry and doesn't realize it's there."

All of them started to laugh.

"So, he sits down, trying to pick up a woman, and looks like he shit himself. And it's chocol-" The Doctor was laughing so hard he couldn't speak. Jack was able to get up from his grip.

Lance looked at him in surprise. "What sort of funky shit are you into where that's even normal?"

Jack pointed at himself and laughed, "I didn't do it! It was done to me!"

The Doctor was hysterical with laughter. Jack playfully smacked him. "And you just suck. I want you to show me how to pin someone down like that."

The Doctor wiped his tears from his eyes. "Sure."

Tony looked back at Jack. "Make sure you get Jake some chocolate from Plentitude."

Jack shook his head. "And so it begins."

The Doctor pointed at Tony. "Oh, thank you for that!"

They all laughed at Jack.

Lance pointed at Lewis. "Can we count this as your bachelor party?"

Lewis shrugged his shoulders. "Sure!"

Jack shook his head quickly, "No! We need strippers!"

Legate jumped up and started to take off his shirt. He spoke in a high pitched voice. "I'm here! But, you can't speak my language, Lewis. Don't worry, just get some chocolate!"

They all laughed as Lewis rolled his eyes at Legate. "Oh, sit your stupid ass down!"

Legate put back on his shirt and sat down, laughing with everyone.

Jack pointed at The Doctor. "Did you have a bachelor party before you and Rose married?"

The Doctor shook his head as he wiped the tears from his eyes. "No. Everything happened so fast, we didn't do that."

"Hell, we should have one for you, too!" Tony suggested.

The Doctor shook his head. "Nah. I'm fine without it, thanks."

Jack shook his head. "That's just still shocking to me to see you two together. It's just ….."

Tony looked back at him. "What?"

"Strange. How long until you made your move once you got here?" Jack asked him.

The Doctor shook his head, "Hand me a beer over here, Legate."

Legate handed the Doctor a beer, which Jack quickly grabbed. "You've been here, what? Seven months? Is that right?"

The Doctor nodded. "I think so. Yeah."

Tony looked surprised at him. "That's the reason I've never heard of you. Just seven months?"

The Doctor reached his hand out. "Beer?"

Jack smiled, "Nah. Tell me how long. I've got a bet with Jake. He was here already. I came a month after you got here. I'm curious. We both have our theories."

"Nah. I'm not talking about that." The Doctor insisted as he reached for his beer again.

Tony was on about it, too. "Hang on. I knew Rose before he got here. She was completely shattered without him. I know, I tried everything to get her to go out with me. What's your bet? I'd say he waited a week."

The Doctor dropped his head. "Ugh."

Jack nodded. "A week. Okay, you can say that. Jake says two days. I think he had to work up his nerve, ten days."

Tony nodded. "$100? Seem reasonable?"

Jack agreed. They shook on it. They looked around the cabin. Tony asked, "Anyone else want in on this?"

They all politely refused. Then Lewis nodded. "I'm thinking back to then. It wasn't long. She took you back to her place as soon as you arrived back in London. You two lived together from the beginning. I'd say that first day."

Jack leaned back in surprise. "Oh ho ho! Really? From the first night?"

Tony looked back at the Doctor. "Alright, cold cheese. How long? Which one of us is right?"

The Doctor held his hand out for his beer. "Can I have the beer?"

Jack shook his head. "Nope. Not until you tell us. I think you're too bashful to even say it-"

"That's your opinion. And the difference in a beer and your opinion, is that I asked for a beer." The Doctor told him.

Lewis chuckled. "How long, man?"

The Doctor rubbed his face. "Alright. What does this even mean? Educate me? How long before we kissed or what?"

Legate smiled. "Kissed. I don't want to know the other, please."

The Doctor nodded. "Alright. I'll tell you that. That's fine. How long until I kissed Rose Tyler? That's the question?"

Jack nodded his head. "Yes. And you can have your beer."

"As soon as I could. Honestly. I was dropped off. Turned around, said maybe three words to her and she snogged me. Right there on the beach. It all happened in less than a minute. So, all of you lose."

Jack shook his head. "No, that was Rose's move. Your move was when?"

The Doctor dropped his head. "Damn. Let me think. Ummm…. It was that first night. Rose and I got drunk off of some port. Or maybe it was wine. We kissed then agreed to wait, then we decided to hell with waiting. It was sortof like that. Happy?" He smiled at the memory. He rubbed his face. "Wow. And within a month we were married. Had Genie, and now Sam. What a crazy seven months it's been. It's so easy to forget."

Jack handed him his beer. And pointed at Lewis. "See what you have to compare your relationship to? Speedy over here?"

Tony laughed as he drank his drink. "Lewis. That was a good bet. Remind me to settle up with you in the morning."

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