Ramen Doodles
By Andrew J. Talon
Disclaimer: I do not and probably never will own Naruto or any other copyrighted works mentioned in this story. I am not writing this for profit.
A rather annoying trope that's been popping up has been Hinata and/or Sakura cheating on their husbands due to how long they stay away from each other.
Some Random Ninja: Leaning against the door to the Uzumaki household "So, Mrs. Uzumaki... You must be getting rather lonely. Your husband's been away for a week, working as the Hokage. A woman like you deserves more attention, wouldn't you say?"
Hinata: "... Pfft... Mmph... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Hinata is bending over, holding her belly as she laughs so hard she begins to cry. The ninja gapes in disbelief.
Some Random Ninja: "H-Hey, come on, that's not-!"
Hinata: Gets her giggles under control "Hee hee... Oh my, I'm sorry. You were trying to insinuate that I'm somehow dissatisfied with my marriage to my husband? In an attempt to get me to cheat on him?"
Some Random Ninja: Totally Was "I-I, no, I mean, well-"
Hinata: Pats his hand "Oh sweet summer child... One, I love my husband so much I would quite happily burn down an entire ninja village and everyone in it for him. I have stood up to a GOD for him-Twice. I have borne him two children and will give him many more in the years to come. I would DIE for him. Just because the realization of his life long dream is taking him away from me a lot doesn't diminish my love for him in the slightest, because he's doing it for my sake as well as everyone else's. Including yours."
Some Random Ninja: "But-I just-!"
Hinata: "Secondly? My husband is literally the most powerful man in the world. With unlimited stamina and the ability to make entire armies of Shadow Clones. And he was trained by the two greatest dirty old men in the world! Do you really think you have anything, anything, that would compare with that in the bedroom?"
Some Random Ninja: "... No."
Hinata: nods "That's right. Now, would you like to come in for some tea and cookies, or would you like me to Jyuken you into oblivion for daring to try something this stupid?"
Some Random Ninja: "... Tea and cookies would be lovely, Mrs. Uzumaki."
Hinata: "Wonderful~!"
Later, this same Random Ninja tries this on Sakura Uchiha...
SAKURA: "HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Shakes her head "Oh, trust me. You do NOT want to know what goes on in our bedroom. You're sure to collapse in grief over how inadequate you are by comparison... although I will give you a hint. Tsukuyomi. Nuff said."
Some Random Ninja: "But-But I can do stuff in the real world! Really... Sexy stuff!"
Sakura: laughs and gives him the same pitying look Hinata gave him "Sure you can, sweetie. Sure you can. Here, have a lollipop. You're done."
Some Random Ninja: "I'm done?!"
Sasuke: Suddenly behind him, Sharingan and Rinnegan active "You're done."
Some Random Ninja: "L-Like I said, I'm done!"
Because all these NTR fics are very annoying.