AN: Don't be too dissapointed in me - we can't rush the babies.
Thanks for all the reviews.
"We can't stay here on an 'maybe', Este," Jess rationalized. The moment Celeste had come upstairs to tell him what was going on with Rory, he didn't need to wait for her to suggest it - he knew that she would want to stay. But who knew if this was the real thing or how long it would take - it could be another false alarm. Besides it wasn't like it was their action that they could in any way influence if it did happen. This didn't mean that he didn't care about Rory but there was a line to which he believed they should be altering their lives for their 'maybe'.
"They were told it would be soon," Celeste tried to persuade him, but she could sense Jess wasn't happy about the indefinite timeline.
"I have shipments coming tomorrow morning at 8," he added, emphasizing the practicalities. Jess had all the intentions of getting the firehouse fixed as quickly as possible, and for the coming weeks his life was planned around Evie, deliveries and handymen. There were two guys working on the deck in the back yard as they spoke which was supposed to be a surprise to Celeste, and staying in New York for a few more days really wasn't in his plans. Sure, he had figured, they'd come and see Rory and Logan when the babies came - but postponing everything to just wait around wasn't worth it in his mind.
"Okay, so you go - I'll stay, I should be around for this," Celeste argued, not wanting to leave Rory like that. The last time the labor had been a real marathon - even Logan had needed a break in between. And it had been truly helpful that she had been around to offer her support when she'd needed it.
"Come on - this is between Rory and Logan. It might not even happen today, and you can come see them as soon as there is news," Jess insisted. It just didn't feel right going alone, even despite the fact they were going in separate cars. It was just that more and more he was beginning to feel like he was more invested in their move, getting the firehouse fixed up and getting their business set up than she was. She no longer seemed in any hurry when it came to any of it - he'd almost began to suspect perhaps she was having second thoughts. But in the end - she was the real reason why he was doing it in the first place. He understood that uprooting from the city at this particular moment was hard, and showing her best friend her support was important to her - but sitting around just waiting for something to happen seemed fruitless.
"Jess..," she began, not knowing what to say. What he had said made sense - but she was feeling torn to pieces. She even knew that all twin labors happened in the OR - hospital policy - so she wasn't probably going to be allowed anywhere near it anyways, but she felt like she was letting her down if she left now.
"Evie misses you, and you yourself have to work on Sunday," he reminded her, besides he was sure she missed Evie too. So did he.
Celeste let out a deep exhale. He was right. And surely Evie needed to be a priority here. For nearly a year she'd always put Evie first, and ever time she's slipped away to her pilates or do anything that was just for her - there had always been some guilt that accompanied that, but after she'd been at the mental health resort, she'd learned to not torture herself if she couldn't be with her. But now - when he clearly felt she needed to be reminded of it - stung a little too - perhaps she was taking the possibilities they had for having family look after Evie for granted.
"Let's just go home, we'll come back. This won't be the last time we come here," Jess assured, knowing well enough that this was about more than just Rory. In part Rory was just an excuse. She'd had to give up so many things in her life, and while she didn't like to admit it - new beginnings did scare her.
"Fine," she relented - she couldn't really argue with anything he'd said, yet she felt horrible doing this. "I'll go talk to her," she added, and walked down the stairs, leaving Jess to gather up the last of their things.
Jess should've felt victorious or relieved that they were going, but he wasn't - it felt bad having to persuade her like that. Sure, he understood the complexities of the situation but above all he wanted to feel like their family, their new life was a priority to her - he wanted her to want to go home.
The news that something might be happening with Rory had travelled along the lines of a telephone game. Celeste telling Logan and Jess, Logan telling Maya, Maya telling in passing to Gigi. However, along those pathways the truth 'that something might be happening' had quite easily transformed into 'Rory is in labor' as Gigi texted it to Finn and mentioned it in passing to her mother who had called to catch up as well. Yet in reality things were just as obscure as before - something was happening but not quite frequently enough.
"35 weeks today," Logan confirmed to the person in charge at the Dynasty Maker's 24h help-line, who was just going over Rory's file. They did have a doctor's contact to call at the hospital, but the doctor that had been in charge of their treatment a few weeks ago was unavailable and every other person he'd tried to explain their situation to seemed to just assure that there was no reason to come in before she was having at least five contractions in an hour.
He would've called Paris, but because Paris was on her holiday in Barbados with her kids, Rory had told Logan not to bother her. Not yet at least.
Rory just laid on her side on their bed, having as a precaution placed a waterproof sheet she had bought for the kids' beds under her, just in case, and listened to Logan consult all the doctors he could get a hold of. Waiting, not knowing, preparing but not knowing what she was preparing for felt tortuous - it could well subside on its own or just mean another round of meds at the hospital, or this could be it.
"Yeah, she's been having back aches all morning, like two contractions an hour," Logan described her condition, replying to their question, glancing at Rory for her to confirm the final number by holding up her fingers.
"Yes, she thinks she's felt a few kicks since then," Logan answered the on-call doctor's questions.
"Okay, that's what I figured," he added, Rory already getting impatient to hear what instructions Logan was getting on the phone. "Right," he confirmed, followed by numerous sounds of "uh-uh"-s to indicate he was still listening.
Logan got off the phone just as Celeste peeked through their bedroom doorway.
"Any news?" Celeste asked, noting Logan looking clearly nervous. She'd already delayed their planned departure by an hour or so, hoping it would begin to show which way things were leaning.
"The recommendation is that we stay home for another hour-hour and half and if this keeps up we go and have you checked out, they'd like to check how the girls are doing," Logan retold what he had just heard.
Rory groaned. If this was labor, it was beginning to remind her of the similarly slow one like her previous one had been.
"God, I hate doing this - but I think I should to go home to Evie," Celeste confessed. It showed in her face that she felt bad about going, and making her feel even guiltier about going was in no one's plans.
"Hey - kids before hos," Rory chuckled understandingly. This was a saying they'd adapted at one point when they'd had to cancel doing something together several times in a row just because the kids had the flu and were cranky or because they just hadn't slept well that particular night.
"I don't have to work until Sunday, so if things pick up, I want you to let me know, I'll bring Evie along if I have to and come back in a heartbeat," Celeste promised.
"It's fine - go," Rory assured. It wasn't that she didn't want her there - she just felt even worse about making people wait for her. Having people waiting didn't make it go any faster, but in a way that only made her feel guiltier for having people interrupt their lives because of her.
"You're sure?" she still needed to ask.
"You're first on our list whom to call," Rory assured, inviting her in for a hug.
"Fingers crossed," Celeste said as she waved her off and headed back upstairs to get her things.
There of course was the question which way they were crossing their fingers - were they hoping her to carry the babies for a few more weeks or for them simply being born safely, despite it being still a little early.
The drive home had allowed Celeste to calm herself. She did need to learn to exist without Rory at arm's length, even if that just meant moral support which was likely going to diminish when the babies came anyways. This was something that was beyond her control and her pacing around the house, waiting and stressing Rory out even more, wouldn't really have helped anyone.
She pulled up behind Jess's car in the driveway, Jess already walking back down the driveway to manually close the large wooden gate they'd begun closing most of the time now. That gate had almost always been open when the fire station had been in function, allowing walk-ins and deliveries, but it was now a part of their backyard. The yard itself was hardly larger than what they had in Brooklyn, but without any neighbours eyes peeking into it, it was infinitely better and Jess, having spent some more time in the house, had recognized it's potential early on.
"God, my shoulders are tense," Celeste stretched herself out as she stepped out of her Mazda. She still wasn't used to driving long distances - but at least this time this largely meant just trailing Jess, which at least meant she didn't have to think too much about where she was going, allowing her to focus better on the traffic which was what she was still a little frightened of.
"Any news?" Jess asked, knowing that Celeste had probably called to Logan or Rory at least once during the drive here.
"The same, they just got to the hospital to be checked out. No news yet," she replied. She was feeling Rory and Logan's anxiousness, that was for sure, her own labor and the fears related to it coming back to her.
"Come on, mom is bringing Evie by in a few minutes," Jess said, draping his hand over her shoulder, hoping to cheer her up.
"How did you…?" Celeste asked as she came to a halt in the back yard and saw the deck that had been erected there as if out of thin air in the past few days.
"I hired a few guys," Jess smirked.
The dark-grey deck wasn't very high, just high enough to cover the one step that led up to the kitchen door and covered a large chunk of the gravel in the backyard, only really leaving room for about three cars to park in one line on the side of the house. The deck connected the two houses, enabling one to move from one house to another without stepping out of the sun-sail shades that covered that part of the deck, which would probably be convenient when it rained too.
"It's wonderful," she replied. "Thank you," she added, realizing that he was probably planning a little towards her birthday - she knew the way his mind worked. The surprise had indeed pleasantly distracted her, bringing her to the here and now - that was what she could do at the moment - be present.
"I thought I'd leave furniture picking to you, but we can use the temporary set for now," Jess explained referring to the set he'd scavangred together with Doula the other day.
"Hey!" Doula called out from the gate, strolling Evie in front of her.
"Mom's using child labor is see," Jess noted, feeling a little surprised that Doula had been put in charge of babysitting, or at least bringing her.
"I really didn't mind, she's great," Doula said, cheerily.
"Come here, Evie!" Celeste exclaimed, heaving all 23-pounds of her daughter onto her chest and hugged her. "God, I've missed you," she held her, smelling her hair as if in search of that baby smell. There was still a little.
Evie clearly had other plans than just letting her mother hug her endlessly and almost threw herself towards Jess who thankfully was free to grab her.
"You've learned some dangerous stunts, E," he noted, scolding her playfully as Evie wrapped her arms around Jess' neck.
"She's a real daddy's girl," Doula giggled, seeing a softer side in Jess, as his face changed when Evie did that.
"You want to hang out for a while?" Jess suggested, feeling thankful for her for hanging out with Evie. "I might continue along the lines of child labor, but we'll probably get some food later," he added, jokingly. But truth be told they did have stuff to carry into the house from the cars.
"Sure, I don't mind," Doula offered. She really did like hanging out with Jess, Celeste and Evie - it was a refreshing change from home, and what Celeste didn't know, was that she was becoming a bit of a role model for Doula, while Jess seemed to be her guide in the literary world. It felt like getting another set of, younger and a lot more modern, parents really.
They were just about to start emptying out their cars - mostly clothes, some kitchen equipment and books - lots of books, and Jess had just carried a few boxes of books indoors, taking several at the time. Evie played on the deck with a toy truck, Rory had given them as Finny had already grown tired of - she was easy to please - anything new fascinating her for hours.
"Oh, you can let those stay in the car," Celeste said to Doula who was beginning to take out the boxes containing the copies of her book.
"Oh," she reacted, as if having done something wrong.
"It's okay, I just need to start posting them, I need to take them to the post office next week after I pack and lable them," Celeste explained.
"What are they?" Doula inquired with child-like curiosity.
Celeste hesitated for a moment, not sure how many people she wanted to let in on the fact that she'd illustrated a book - that book.
"Can you keep a secret?" Celeste asked, feeling like telling someone.
"It's my book, well.. Mine and my co-author's. But it's a secret," she added, opening one of the boxes and showing her a copy.
"But it says Noah Hart and Ester Martin?" Doula pointed at the author's names.
"That's because I don't want people to know I drew it," she explained. She'd thought long and hard whether and which pen name to go with, eventually an adaptation of her nickname and her temporary last name, she'd had before marrying Jess, having seemed like the best choice.
"Why not?" Doula asked, beginning to flip through the book.
"I guess I just wanted to keep a low profile," she replied. Her whole thought process of hiding herself had somehow lost most of its importance to her by now. She was no longer ashamed of the book's content - it was sexy but it wasn't pornographic, and she had drawn it - even if some of these were a little socially critical, it wasn't anything that could be traced back to Odette Aubertin. With her mind having been out of balance in many ways when she had planned this - she'd felt so much more paranoid than she did now, it almost felt silly hiding it now. Now she almost felt like she would've liked to have her name on it. "I just… I guess I was afraid of what people might think," she admitted - after all that too was the truth.
Doula browsed the book a little, noting some of the more erotic images and for a brief second Celeste had seconds thoughts whether she even had the right to show her this.
"I think it's kind of cool," Doula replied, surprisingly.
"I don't know, maybe it's too early for you…, but if you want you can have one, but you don't have to, or maybe it's better you don't if your mother might not like you having books like that," she added, hesitantly.
She shrugged, clearly not feeling entirely comfortable discussing these things yet.
"I would like one, and my mom ever checks the books I have," Doula commented. Celeste could see some curiosity in the girl - and it was perfectly understandable. She was at an age where boys were just beginning to seem interesting, while talking about those things was still highly uncomfortable and shadowed by knowledge gaps, unless one knew how to google the right things but even that was a dangerous path.
"Okay," Celeste shrugged, feeling particularly glad that she had redrawn some of the imagery in her book so it wouldn't look that much like Jess - that would've been awkward. "But if you want to talk about any of this… or anything," she added, keeping it vague. "You can talk to me, okay?" she assured Doula. She had felt like that was the place for her to say that - somehow recognizing that slightly 'lost' but 'curious' look in her. She could imagine that Liz wasn't exactly the easiest person to talk to about boys and sex.
"Okay, thanks," she replied, and placed the book down for now, and continued to help Celeste with the bags of clothes she had been carrying upstairs before.