NOTES: Switches POV a few times. A normal length chapter; a rare combination of humor and angst.

AND DON'T WORRY GUYS I'M GONNA MAKE IT UP TO Y'ALL REAL SOON PLS DON'T BURN MY HOUSE DOWN

:)

"Wow, it's even bigger than I imagined!"

"Just wait 'til you see the inside, sister! Get ready to have your mind BLOWN."

The first woman who had spoken giggled loudly, but tried to smother it. It still reached Darcy's ears though, less than a few yards away from the store the two ladies were. He turned his head in time to see a familiar figure darting into 'Netherworld.'

Was that.. Anna DeBourgh?

He had known Anna all his life (being her cousin) and he had never heard her laugh. It was a strange sound, like the chattering of a dolphin. Darcy faced forward again, and frowned. He was really worn out from social interaction. Did it count for the dare if it wasn't a stranger he was talking to?

Then he nearly smacked himself.

He wasn't doing this just for a DARE! He was doing this to be a better person! And better people didn't pick and choose who they were nice to— they just were!

Stifling a groan, Darcy clambered to his feet, and stretched. Being a better person was exhausting. He cracked his neck, and lumbered into the store, preparing to be polite.

Meanwhile, in the costume store, two women were not being.. polite, per se, but at least they were being quiet, as they made their way to the back left of the store.

At least... they were trying to be quiet.

"Shh!" Lizzy hissed, laughing, "Stop laughing! We'll get caught!"

Anna's eyes had long since dried, but now they were sparkling with mirth and excitement. This was the most fun she had had in years. "Is this it?" She giggled like a dolphin, "Is this th-the wig you hid the— the ch-ch-chicken… in-n-n..."

Anna dissolved back into laughter, and Lizzy put a hand over her mouth, doubling over with silent amusement.

They ducked into the back corner— next to the changing room— where several detailed wigs were propped up on styrofoam heads. Lizzy popped an old curled grandma wig off of one, and proudly showed her new friend the stash of butterfingers and snickers bars.

"Oh my gosh," Anna said, grinning. "How are they not melted?"

"NO idea," Lizzy replied happily, plopping the gray wig onto her head and taking a chomp out of a snickers. "But isn't it great?"

"Yeah.. yeah it really is," she said, softly. Anna was looking at Lizzy like she was a guardian angel; which, in a way, she was.

The angel offered her the other half of the chocolate bar. "Want some?"

"Oh, Nonono," Anna tried to wave her off, frightened. "M-my mother would n-n-never allow…"

"But your mother's not here now, is she?" Lizzy winked. "Try one! They're good."

With only a moment's pause, Anna took the candy. She bit into it. Then her pale face split into a smile.

"Oh… wow… This is…"

"Good, innit?" She grinned. Lizzy had moved on, and was now rifling through the costume racks. "Told ya it'd be." She grabbed a dark reddish cloak and threw it over her shoulders. "Hey! Anna! Lookit this!"

Lizzy made her eyes really big, and put her hands to her cheeks like that kid from Home Alone. Speaking in falsetto, she cried, "Oh.. grandma! What big.. TEETH YOU HAVE!"

Anna snickered, putting a hand to her mouth to hide the half-chewed chocolate. "You look more like the granny than Red Riding Hood," she said, smiling.

"Ah, damn." Lizzy started shrugging off the cloak. "Another wonderful costume wasted."

A voice broke through their easy conversation. And then everything was different.

"Anna? Is that you?"

Fuck. Lizzy froze in place. All the color drained from her cheeks. She knew that voice.

"I have to go," she whispered frantically to Anna, "Don't say anything to him about me. PLEASE."

"What? I—," Anna was left floundering as Lizzy darted off between the aisles. She looked up, bewildered, into the stony face of her cousin.

"Who was that?" Darcy asked, tilting his head.

Anna turned around in a circle, utterly confused. "Uh-uh… ahum…" She couldn't see Lizzy anywhere. What had scared her so much that she felt the need to run off like that?

"Anna?" Her focus snapped back to Darcy. He was looking at her with those unnervingly piercing eyes. "Who was that?"

Ah. Maybe that was it. "I- uh, just an…" she spotted Lizzy, still sporting the gray wig and cloak, darting to the door. "Just a.. an old… old lady. Don't know her. Old lady."

Darcy followed her gaze and frowned. "She looks like she's… having trouble walking..?" His head inclined in determination. "I'm gonna go help her."

"What! No!" Anna cried. She had no idea why Lizzy wanted to avoid her cousin, but Anna sure wasn't going to stop her.

She tried to grab onto Darcy's arm, stopping him from moving after the 'old lady.'

"No, no, it's fine," He said, distractedly, brushing her off as if she weighed no more than a cobweb, "I'm helping her."

Helplessly, Anna watched as her cousin ran up to the front of the store, after Lizzy. She hoped whatever was going on between her and Darcy wasn't too serious. She would feel just awful if something happened.

There was a chorus of curses going off like choir bells in Lizzy Bennet's head.

Shit. Fuck. Fuck it all. Damn it, Damn it, Damn it. WHY WAS HE HERE WHAT WAS HE DOING HERE?! HAD HE SEEN HER?

Lizzy tried in vain to calm her racing heartbeat. Hearing his voice… without a doubt, it was him. That low, rumbling voice was in her dreams every night, in every daydream and every nightmare. She knew him.

And yet it took all of her energy not to break into a run that familiar voice was right behind her.

"Ma'am? Do you need help?"

Lizzy didn't dare look up. She turned, eyes downcast, suddenly grateful that the creepily-realistic wig was falling into her eyes, obscuring her face. She recognized his hand as it rested on her shoulder. Her stomach twisted into a knot.

"Ma'am?" Fitzwilliam asked, his voice polite and concerned and oh so warm above her. "Would you like me to walk you out of the store? You look like you're having a little.. uh, trouble."

Oh. OH. He hadn't recognized her yet! Suddenly, her situation became 10x more dire. What if he recognized her? What would she say? What DID you say to someone who broke your heart in two, begged you to come back, then never returned your calls?

"Oh, I'm fine, dearie," was what Lizzy eventually came up with, her voice wheedling into a high-pitched voice she desperately hoped was convincing. "You can run along now, young man."

"Oh no, I insist."

Then his hand was over her shoulder. Fitzwilliam was guiding her out of the store. Slowly. Gently. As if she were breakable, and precious, and valuable.

Suddenly Lizzy felt very homesick.

"Th-thank you," she managed, "N-now, I.. I must be off."

Though it felt like self-amputating a limb, Lizzy tore herself away from her lost lover. She didn't look back until she was sure he was facing the other direction. His face hadn't changed a day. He was still the sweet, handsome, bumbling man she had met in the coffee shop, and fallen in love with.

Except now he was different.

He was outgoing— talking to strangers in the mall, helping people he didn't even know— and kinder than she had ever known him to be. He had.. changed.

And Lizzy was still the same worthless, judgemental, hateful woman he had neglected to call back.

She didn't deserve him.

As Lizzy broke into a run, tears free-flowing down her face, a very confused man stood in front of a costume shop, wondering why that old woman had seemed so familiar.

And, more importantly, why he felt the sudden, overwhelming urge to kick himself.