Dog Days
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She had to be careful. She only had a small window and she knew she had to be so damned careful. The last month had been hellish, more so than usual and she knew it would only get worse as the thrumming… drumming in the night woke her so often now. Those hooves trip-tropping in the darkness, coming closer and closer as she felt the weight descending on her.
He would come home so angry, so full of need as she would place his meal down and let her hand rest for a moment on his shoulder, so hopeful that he would feel her love for him. She did love him, even after all the things he did, she did love him. He was the love of her life… well… before the children came and she learned a new kind of love.
She poured his beer for him and settled with her own bubbly wine. One glass, just the one. Smiling as she listened to him lament his day and where she could, she meds noises of agreement, commenting that they didn't know what a good worker they had in him and would be sorry the day he moved up to a higher paying job. This usually mollified him but tonight he seemed… solid.
She looked over at the children who were eating silently like there was nothing wrong with him slamming his fist on the table and screaming at her so loudly that she was 'a stupid cunt' that food struck her face. Ianto paused, his fork about to speak a piece of meat, then he looked at her. A moment. The fear so raw in his eyes before he liked down again that she felt her heart break.
She turned to her monster… I mean… husband "Sorry darling. You know I am just a housewife, I I have no idea of the workings of a man's world."
He sat back and leered as he swept the plate to the floor and declared it dog swill. She rose and went to the kitchen, her hands shaking now as she opened the fridge and sighed as she stared at the desert she knew the children would not be allowed tonight, lifting out the apple pie and returning to the table. He seized the plate and scooped the middle out with his spoon while telling the kids they had enough, get to fucking bed.
Rhiannon rising to leave the room and Ianto stood then reached for his sisters plate as he knew this would set his Da off if left behind.
"Leave it. That fat bitch can come back and get it herself."
Jenny felt the air leave the room as Rhiannon continued to walk like she had not heard, Ianto's hand paused in midair as he did not know what to do, then he drew it back to leave the plate behind. The weapon. He knew his Da would throw it at his Mama, he knew the crying and screaming would start as soon as that bottle of beer was drunk and he headed upstairs with his sister to hide under the bed, clinging to one another as they listened to the cries of their mother.
Jenny sat and let him rant, let him strike her face and scream at her, spit on her. That go-bag in the hallway closet was packed and ready to go. Tomorrow while he worked with his hangover she would wait for the kids to get home from school and be on her way out of here to her parents, on her way to freedom.
She had been working under the table, babysitting and doing laundry for others and had enough for the bus fares out of here. He had no idea… no idea at all and she knew she could get out of this black hole if she just hung on a little longer. She hid her delight in this warm thought deep in the recesses of her brain. Like a diamond made from all the weight and violence… her babies would be safe and she would get them out of here. One more night.
He rose and left the room, her breath coming out in a loud chuff as she rose and headed to the kitchen to start the dishes, her hands soon deep in the suds. She hoped he was not going up after Rhiannon, that girl seems so surly the last few days. She heard him coming and was surprised, really.
The thundering down the stars like a herd of wild horses, the clomping and slamming making her turn with confusion as he NEVER came back after heading up to flop on the bed and wait for her to come up so he could continue to harangue her while he choked her and fucked her in that vicious way.
Her diary was in his hand and her fingers became numb, the plate slipping from the soapy grip on to the floor as he placed it so calmly on the table. How had he found it? She hid it so well behind the headboard… he never went there… she was so damned confused she could not even think.
"Going somewhere bitch?" he asked, the money also in his grip.
She saw Rhiannon peeking adorned the doorframe with a weird look of … triumph? … on her face and too late Jenny realized she had not explained to the kids that she was taking them too. She had not told them of her plan and Rhiannon always was did snoop onto everything.
Oh Rhi-rhi. What have you done darling girl.
It was here.
The Dog Days were over and Jenny would never again feel the despair and depression of her life here under the hoof of this monster. She felt strangely calm now as he advanced and she raised her head so stare at him defiantly.
Here at the end of things….
She just wished the kids did not have to see what was going to happen next.
.
.
.
Dog Days Are Over"
Happiness hit her like a train on a track
Coming towards her stuck still no turning back
She hid around corners and she hid under beds
She killed it with kisses and from it, she fled
With every bubble, she sank with a drink
And washed it away down the kitchen sink
The dog days are over
The dog days are done
The horses are coming
So you better run
Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father
Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your love and your longing behind
You can't carry it with you if you want to survive
The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses?
'Cause here they come
And I never wanted anything from you
Except everything you had and what was left after that too, oh
Happiness hit her like a bullet in the back
Struck from a great height by someone who should know better than that
The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses?
'Cause here they come
Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father
Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your love and your longing behind
You can't carry it with you if you want to survive
The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses?
'Cause here they come
The dog days are over
The dog days are done
The horses are coming
So you better run
The dog days are over
The dog days are done
The horses are coming
So you better run
By Florence + The Machine