Jayce POV
I can't believe what J.R. goes through. I know she's in excruciating pain when the pain medication wears off, but what I watched was awful, and it's my fault. She still has at least a month to go before she's healed. Can't keep her sedated either; she needs to move around. Thinking about all this caused my pain to get worse.
At least it's an uncomfortable pain and not excruciating pain.
I laid on my side on my bed for a few minutes before I had to throw up. Drift walks in as I'm throwing up. I feel dizzy after throwing up and collapse onto the floor.
"Are you ok?" Drift asked, trying not to panic.
I'm trying to get up as I have to throw up again, but I'm so dizzy. Drift helped me up and kept me sitting as I threw up again. He moved me, so I'm laying on him as he supports my head. "You ok?" He asked again.
"No," I replied as I feel the room spinning.
"Let me put you on the bed."
"No."
Drift didn't listen and moved to stand up. I worry I'm going to throw up again as he lays me on the bed. I closed my eyes, hoping that'll help with the dizziness.
A few minutes pass before I hear Drift talk
"I think you're dehydrated; you need to drink water."
I don't want to move, but Drift sits me up and moves on to the bed before I can say anything. He even put a straw in my water bottle. I drink the water slowly, but soon I had to lie down. Drift laid me down, put the bottle on my desk, and covered me with a blanket before sitting at the desk. I know I'll fall asleep soon.
Drift POV
This isn't good, I don't think it's dehydration, but I still made sure Jayce had some water. I did some research before finding out this is more physical effects of Jayce's mental struggle.
Damn, what's it going to take for her to recover mentally?
I don't think this is about her unexplained thoughts about Jamie after Buddy passed.
With Jayce asleep, I went to Jamie's room. She needs to go to the house soon.
She had just finished her work as I walked in. I wasted no time picking her up and laying on the bed with her on top of me. Her blue eyes are staring at me as she smiled.
"Did you lock the door?" She asks.
I laugh; I know she's not thinking about sex, but if Crosshairs walks into the room.
"One of these days, those lips are being kissed," I say after kissing her forehead.
Jamie rests her head on my chest.
"You have to leave soon. It's already three-thirty."
"Then you come with me."
Even though Jamie loves when I'm with her, she never asks for me to come with her to the house, but she doesn't say no when I tell her I'm coming with her. I'm not even
going to ask why she's suddenly asking me to come with her.
We enjoy our time together on the bed for fifteen minutes before I got up and left the room while carrying Jamie.
I'm about to leave the base when Crosshairs spots me. I shook my head, hoping he'd get the message not to ask. Instead, he followed me, which Jamie would also like.
Crosshairs and I lucked out and could eat dinner with Jamie and the family. We didn't like how little she ate or how quickly she ate and left. We finished eating before finding Jamie in her room. Amazed, she didn't go to her room at the base.
"Come on, let's go back to the base," I sat as I picked her up. She's been crying since she left the table. She wrapped her arms around my neck before Crosshairs, and I left the room.
"Let's take her out to Panera Bread," Crosshairs suggests.
I can't say anything about J.R. while I'm holding Jamie. Crosshairs knows to get one of the others to stay with J.R. He can do that as I go upstairs and get Jamie's bag, but Jamie won't let go of me.
I sat on the bed with Jamie on my lap. I watched the tears roll down her face.
She needs a good cry before we leave.
Drift: We'll be down soon.
Crosshairs didn't text back, asking why. It's not a problem if he walks in, which he does thirty seconds after I sent the text. He sat on the bed next to me, but instead of asking why Jamie has tears rolling down her face, he wiped the tears from her eyes with his hand. Didn't take long before Jamie let herself cry. We let her cry for five minutes before trying to get her to stop. Jayce comes in soon after we try to get Jamie to stop crying.
"It's ok, Jamie," Jayce says as she sits next to me and moves Jamie onto her lap, "I'm fine, and J.R. is healing."
Ok, so she doesn't know why Jamie is crying. Though she'd assume it's her family if we weren't dealing with this shit. Jamie stopped crying within two minutes. I tell Jayce we are going to Panera Bread and asked if she wanted to come. Both girls hated J.R. couldn't come. I mean, she could, but she's had enough pain for one day.
Crosshairs POV
I had Jayce ride with me. She's already worried this outing won't end well. Perhaps I should have told her she can't come with us, but then Jamie would ask why.
"You need to relax."
Damn it; she's going to end up having a panic attack. I have to pull over. I texted Drift that I'd be late; he knows why.
Once on the side of the road, I moved Jayce onto my lap. I'm right; she's at the start of either an anxiety or panic attack. Hard to tell right now. Either way, I need to calm her down.
"Look at me; you're ok. You need to relax, or the pain and vomiting will return."
Hopefully, rubbing her back will help if I can't move in a slow rocking motion in my alt mode.
Jayce calms down five minutes later. I wait an additional five minutes before putting her pack on the passenger seat and buckling the seatbelt. I held her hand while driving, hoping to keep her calm.
The two girls were happy during our time at Panera Bread. They just wanted warm chocolate chip cookies and milk. We could have ordered to go, but time out us good for both of them.
"It's only five-thirty, let's go do something fun," I suggest after texting Hound, asking about J.R. Hound started a group chat with Drift and me, telling us J.R. is still sleeping though he's not sure if she'll be upset if I'm not there when she wakes up. I tell Hound to call me if that happens. J.R. wants Jayce out of the base more with Jamie, so I don't think she'll have a problem if I'm not in the medbay when she wakes up.
We got to the bowling alley at six. J.R. calls me before we pay for a session.
"We'll be playing for an hour," I tell her
"No, keep them out for a long time."
"You know by the time we get back; it'll be eight-thirty, maybe nine."
I also wanted to get back to help her with her pain.
With that, we ended the call, and I enjoyed bowling with Drift, Jamie, and Jayce.
Two hours later
J.R. POV
With Crosshairs not here, I try to hide my pain. I've been able to for twenty minutes, but I don't know how much longer I can last.
"You ok?" Hound asks, concerned. I see he's looking at the monitor.
Crud, I didn't think about the body's response to being in this much pain.
Crosshairs and Drift walk in. Saying nothing, Hound leaves. Crosshairs immediately prepares an IV bag as Drift tries to comfort me. I can't hide the pain anymore though they've seen this several times already, so I'm a little more comfortable showing I'm in pain in front of them.
"You should have told Hound. How long have you been hiding your pain?" Drift asks. I can't answer him; instead, I cry and move around, "I've watched this enough to know you've kept the pain hidden for at least a half-hour," Drift sighs and strokes my forehead.
"No, I'll heal...but...we don't know if Jayce will. We need to...focus on her," I struggled to say while dealing with the pain. I can tell in Drift's eyes; he's worried I'm thinking about ending my life. Either he thinks to escape the pain or still worried Jayce is still thinking about ending her life.
"Let me take your shirt off," Crosshairs says as he puts the IV bag on the table. Before I could say anything, he has me sit up, Drift keeps me sitting up, and Crosshairs takes my shirt off. I hate I'm screaming in their ears, but this fucking hurts. A few seconds pass before everything goes dark.
Drift POV
J.R. urinates as soon as she passes out. My ears are still ringing from her scream. I can't take this for four to six weeks; I know Crosshairs can't either. We need to make sure she wakes up, but how much pain will she be in? We have a syringe ready. Once we know she's ok, minus the pain, we're using sleep aide to put her to bed.
"She needs oxygen support again," Crosshairs sighed. J.R. woke up as he put the mask on her face. Tears rolling down her face.
"You'll be ok. I'm giving you something to put you to sleep," he says as he takes her hand. I walk over and took her other hand. She had fear in her eyes.
"It's going to be ok," I say as Crosshairs injects the drug in her IV. We stood on either side of the bed, watching her fall asleep. We took care of her once she was asleep. Crosshairs starts the infusion of pain medication, and we sit by the bed.
Both Jamie and Jayce come in ten minutes later. Both are not liking J.R. is on oxygen again. Crosshairs checked over her, and everything sounds fine.
"She's ok," I say before either of them could ask. It's eight-thirty, and neither are tired.
"It's ok, Jamie," Jayce says, seeing Jamie looking unhappy she couldn't heal J.R. She picks up Jamie and leaves the room.
"We're all liking how short Jamie is," Crosshairs jokes.
Jayce POV
I was expecting Jamie to fight me as I carry her back to her room. Not sure what to think since she didn't. I put her on the bed before sitting next to her. I'm telling her everything Crosshairs, and Drift have been telling me, but replacing her name with J.R.'s., unaware Crosshairs and Drift are standing at the doorway, listening.
"...I also hate she's in a lot of pain, but it's out of your control."
I had a hard time saying that. Crosshairs and Drift are going to question how I could say all this and not believe it myself. Maybe Jamie didn't need to be told all this, she's not crying, but I felt I had to say all this.
Crosshairs and Drift grew tired of eavesdropping and sat with us. Jamie moves onto Drift's lap and hugs him. I can't tell if she wanted to or needed to because she's upset. A few minutes pass before the two mechs suggest we go downstairs and watch T.V. I'm hoping Jamie will fall asleep.
Four hours later
Almond one in the morning, and we're still watching T.V. we switched to watching the livestream Jamie likes to watch every night. I'm getting tired, but I want to make sure Jamie will go to bed.
Eight hours later
Waking up, realizing it's morning and I'm in my bed. Shit, I fell asleep.
"Jamie fell asleep soon after you did," I hear Drift say before I see him by the bed.
I'm not even going to ask if he used sleep aid to keep me asleep. Wouldn't surprise me if that's what he did. Just hate how it's either nightmares and panic attacks or abdominal pain and possibly feeling dizzy and throwing up.
"Come on, I want you to eat food," Drift says but doesn't pull me up and out of bed. I moved to my side, facing him, "please? I don't like you're not eating food unless you can't hide you're not eating from Jamie."
At least I know why I don't want to eat.
Drift didn't insist I get out of bed. He sat on his knees, held my hand, and rubbed my back.
Twenty minutes pass before my abdominal pain starts. I think Drift knows as he's trying to get me to relax.
|Damn, it's too early for this.
I'm worried about this getting worse, which is causing this to get worse. The pain getting worse is one thing, but I'm scared I'll have a seizure or panic attack.
Drift moved onto the bed and moved me onto my back. He's sitting on his knees and held my hands.
Drift POV
Damn it; I hate how quickly these panic attacks happen. She can't stop thinking about all the shit that's been happening. I don't know if Crosshairs is going to be any help, but I better text him.
Drift: Jayce is on the verge of a panic attack. I don't know if you'll be able to help
Crosshairs: I'm coming.
I swear Crosshairs ran up to the room. Crosshairs sat on his knees by the bed, stroking Jayce's forehead. Jayce is breathing fast; this is good, not a severe panic attack.
A minute passed before Jayce tried to get up. I worry this means this panic attack is getting worse, and she's having a hard time getting air in.
I reposition myself, sitting on my butt with my legs crossed. I moved Jayce onto my lap as Crosshairs sat next to me, so he's able to continue stroking Jayce's forehead. Not sure how much it's helping her, but it's something Crosshairs can do to show he's here for her. I have Jayce positioned on me at a 45° angle. My arm will get tired, but this should help Jayce not freak out about her breathing. Crosshairs put pillows on my knee so I wouldn't have to hold Jayce. I have to get her breathing under control.
A few minutes pass before the panic attack ends. Jayce cries as I hug her.
"Lay with her, I'm going back to the medbay," Crosshairs tells me as he gets off the bed.
I laid with Jayce; she's asleep within ten minutes. I covered her with a blanket before leaving the room.
Jamie is still asleep, so I go to the medbay. J.R. is also still asleep.
"What happened?" Crosshairs asks.
"I'm not sure, I told her I want her to eat food, but I wasn't in a hurry to get her downstairs to eat then things went downhill fast."
"What is going through her mind to cause that?" Crosshairs sighed, "we can't ask her either."
We knew this meant Jayce is getting worse.
J.R. POV
I woke up at a horrible time, but I can't tell if I'm awake and listening to Crosshairs' and Drift's conversation, or am I dreaming? Why would I dream Jayce is getting worse mentally?
A tear escaped, and I felt one of the mechs take my hand. I opened my eyes to see both of them on either side of the bed; Crosshairs is the one holding my hand. I wanted to ask about Jayce but couldn't get my mouth to say anything. Tears now roll down my face.
Crosshairs released my hand, moved a chair to the other side of the bed, and moved me onto his lap as Drift sat on the bed. I leaned in his chest as he held my hand. I was distracted, thinking about Jayce to say anything. Every day, I feel like the dreaded conversation is getting closer to needing to happen. That thought made me cry. Crosshairs released my hand so he could hug me.
Let this shit end soon and in a good way.