Ramen Doodles

By Andrew J. Talon

Disclaimer: I do not and probably never will own Naruto or any other copyrighted works mentioned in this story. I am not writing this for profit.

The idea that Naruto and Hinata's marriage is anything but loving and affectionate and fulfilling is also a tedious trope. As though Naruto and Hinata were terrible sitcom stereotypes.

Sakura, Ino, and Hinata are having a Girl's Night Out.

Hinata: "Hm? Fights?"

Ino: "Yeah! What have you and Naruto fought about?"

Hinata: "Nothing. We don't have fights."

Sakura: "What-Never?!"

Hinata: "Not once!"

Ino: "But... Every couple argues! Sai and I argue! We can't agree on everything!"

Hinata: "Well we do disagree but we just talk the problem out."

Sakura: "It can't be that easy for every problem!"

Hinata: "We just love eachother so much it's hard to be angry with one another."

Ino: "Even so, if you haven't had a fight, doesn't that mean there isn't an issue you both feel passionately enough to argue over in the relationship? Doesn't it mean there isn't enough passion in your marriage?"

Hinata: "Um... Hmmm... Oh dear..."

Later, back at the Uzumaki Home.

Hinata: "Naruto... I think we need to have a fight."

Naruto: "Huh? Okay! We can go spar outside-"

Hinata: "Ah, no, I mean... We need to have... An argument. A f-f-fight!"

Naruto: "... Why?"

Hinata: "Because healthy marriages have fights! Apparently!"

Naruto: "AH! You mean, you think there's something wrong with our marriage!"

Hinata: "I absolutely am worried there's something wrong with our marriage!"

Naruto: "I'M WORRIED TOO!"

Hinata: "Then we need to fight!"

Naruto: "YEAH!'

Hinata and Naruto: "..."

Naruto: "What do we fight about?"

Hinata: "Ummmm..."

Naruto: "Can we have sex until we figure it out?"

Hinata: "Hmmm... Okay!"

Later, at the next Girl's Night Out...

Sakura: "You just had sex and didn't fight at all?!"

Hinata: "I don't think you get it, Sakura. Naruto-kun fulfills me romantically, spiritually, and as a person in general."

Sakura: "But... Don't you disagree on anything?"

Hinata: "We do, but we get over it. And we talk it out. See, we don't just repress our bad feelings. We express them in healthy ways so that we're stronger together!"

Karui: "Huh, me and Chouji have something similar."

Temari: The most stressed out housewife of the lot of them.

Ino: "Geez. Glad I dodged that bullet."

Temari: "Excuse you?!"

Ino: "I mean, for a while I crushed on Shikamaru. I'm so glad I didn't pull the trigger."

Hinata:" You also crushed on Sasuke, Ino. A second bullet dodged."

Ino: "I know! Man I'm lucky! Sai and I do have arguments but we cool down and talk it out after!"

Sakura: "Fuck you. And your beautiful miracle of a relationship, Hinata."

Hinata: "Come now. Surely being married to Sasuke isn't bad?"

Sakura: "The times when Sasuke and I are together are wonderful. He's just, you know... it's easier to understand Sasuke's distance to Sarada and I when you consider what kind of family he came from and what kind of risk being too close to us at all times comes with. He's still an Uchiha and, well, so are we." Smiles "It's not bad at all though."

Ino: "Speaking of: Are you two even married? You never invited me to a wedding."

Sakura: "OF COURSE WE'RE ACTUALLY MARRIED!"

Ino: "I'm not saying you're making it up, I'm just saying we literally have the word of you, Naruto, Kakashi-sensei, and Sasuke to go on... Just like that Madara turned into this weird moon rabbit milf during your final battle."

Sakura: "That also happened! Probably! I'm mostly sure on that one?"

Hope you enjoyed.