Day 46:

One more tension dissolved from her chest. The world seemed a little bit clearer in its absence; it was less difficult to focus on the issues at hand rather than the uncertainty of what would come to pass. She sat between Ignis and Iris, working slowly and inefficiently in comparison to both of them, but Ignis checked over her work, offering her tips with the needle and a smile at every turn.

He was a much kinder mentor to her than Iris was to Cor.

"Gods, you're so bad at this, Cor! How did you even—? There's just a giant knot of thread sewn into this seam!"

"You do it, then," Cor grumbled.

"I'm trying! Honestly, you're just making this harder. I don't understand how anyone could be so bad at sewing."

Ardyn proved surprisingly deft with a needle. When Iris commented on this, he merely said: "It isn't so different from human skin."

She stared at him with her mouth twisting in disgust for a moment before she stuck her tongue out at him. "You're just trying to creep me out!"

And so on. It brought a smile to Reina's face. They had been together just a month and a half, but somehow it felt like all the years in her Dream had never been undone. Only the bad parts were gone.

But she still had one more story to tell. And as the afternoon stretched on toward dusk, it weighed more heavily on her. Ignis sensed her discomfort and misattributed the source. He made a point of seeing that the lights around the garage were turned on. Including the flood lights in the parking lot—though lights were unnecessary to keep the daemons from Hammerhead while Reina was present. She appreciated the thought. But it didn't make her task any easier.

The sun was well and truly set by the time Takka came over and announced that he had 'a couple of humongous steaks sizzling on the grill' for them. And, as Ignis never could resist the lure of an open kitchen, he disappeared shortly after. The rest of them cleaned up and migrated in the direction of Takka's diner. Only Cid complained about the delay. The rest of them were too dusty and hungry, their fingers too cramped and bleeding, to object to a break.

They found Ignis behind the counter with Takka, looking at home with a 'Takka's Pit Stop' apron tied around his waist.

"Dinner will be ready in just a moment," he announced, glancing over his shoulder at them. "If you would all be so kind as to take a seat."

Reina lingered in the doorway. The diner wasn't packed, by any means, but it wasn't deserted either. The last time she had been inside, Noctis had just returned from the Heart.

She had died the next day.

"You alright, Rei?" Iris asked, backtracking when she saw Reina stop.

Reina stood on the threshold, halfway between the light of the diner and the dark of the outside world.

"Fine," she said automatically. Then she caught Iris' eye. "No. I can't stand being here again. It feels like I'm dying. Like I should want to die."

Iris came back to the door. "Would you rather eat outside?"

Outside, the sky had long since grown dark. Even with the moon and the stars it was a hauntingly familiar sight.

"No," Reina said.

"What happened in here?" Iris asked. She looked like she regretted it as soon as the words were out of her mouth.

Reina sighed and dragged her hands over her arms. She could do this. She could tell this story.

"Nothing important," she managed. "I saw Noctis again after ten years. I was so tired. But I knew I would die the next day, so it made it all bearable."

"You really wanted out that bad?"

"More than anything. And I broke Ignis' heart and Cor's heart and your heart because I couldn't love any of you enough to keep living."

Iris glanced over her shoulder. Ignis was still working with his back to them, Cor was embroiled in some discussion—or debate—with Cid, while Cindy leaned against the bar and struck up a conversation with Takka.

"What happened, Rei? In all those years, what happened to us?"

Knowing this conversation would come, just like all the others, didn't make it any easier or more pleasant to face down. Where could she even start?

At the beginning.

"I made you my Shield," Reina said, before she could think. If she spoke rapidly, it would bleed out before it began to hurt. "And you grew up in the dark, fighting daemons. Queen's Shield. Daemonhunter. Even the Glaives looked up to you, but you couldn't do the one thing you thought you needed to do. Your father had done it and Gladio would do it, but when times grew most dire I made it impossible for you to stand by me. I made you break your vows to me and I let you believe it was your own fault because I wanted you to walk away from me and never look back."

Iris' mouth hung open. She stared, flabbergasted, at Reina for several seconds. Then she set her jaw and clenched her fists. "I don't believe you."

"That you broke your vows?"

"No, that you wanted me to leave."

Reina hesitated. The facts of what had happened she had been prepared to recount. Or as prepared as she ever would be. But the truth of what she had felt throughout was a different matter altogether.

"I don't think you ever wanted me to leave," Iris said, "And I probably knew that then, too. But I guess there's a limit to how much crap even I will take from someone I love. I didn't know that, so I guess it's good to know. Now I'll know to try that much harder when you're being difficult."

Reina stared at her. That was what she took from this. That, after all the trouble Reina had put her through, she needed to learn to be more tolerant.

"You can tell me the whole story later. If you want. When you're ready. But can we eat? I'm starving."

Reina found herself unable to respond, save to nod, yet when Iris began to turn away, Reina stopped her.

"I didn't want you to leave," she said. "And when you did, I regretted it. I wanted you to be safe and I couldn't think of any better way to do that, even though I knew it was a bad choice. And I just… felt so alone. Maybe I wanted to be alone so it would match how I felt."

"That doesn't make any sense," Iris said dryly.

"I know."

"Welp. I guess we all do stupid things sometimes. You did a stupid and I did a stupid and probably Cor did ten of them, at least." She was smiling. In spite of everything, she was smiling. Reina found herself doing much the same.

"At least," she agreed.