Chapter 74.

Dean looked at his watch. He glanced at Sam, who met his gaze, then looked away. He knew what Sam was thinking, that he was too impatient, too concerned, but this was his family and two members of it were at risk of being lost for good.

Sam got up and grabbed a half bottle of whisky. "Drink?" he said.

Dean nodded.

"Jack?" said Sam, pouring a glass and putting it in front of Dean.

"No, thanks." said Jack, "I might go watch Return of the Jedi again."

When he'd left the library, Sam said, "It's his comfort movie."

"Used to be yours." said Dean.

"Still is, at times." said Sam.

"You think they're okay?" said Dean.

"He couldn't be in better hands, Dean. Jules loves him. You said yourself, if anyone can get through to him, it's her."

"Yeah, I know. Still wish we'd had the sense to bug the room."

"Dean! Boundaries!" said Sam.

"Are you saying you don't wish you could know what they're saying?"

"No. I'm as curious as you are. I'm saying we have no right to pry and you worry that he doesn't trust us, but maybe it's that we need to trust him a little more."

"He went to Rowena!" said Dean.

Sam poured himself a glass of whisky. "I hate that as much as you do, but he did come back and now he's doing the right thing and talking to Jules. That's a good thing, right?"

"Of course it is. I'm not saying it's not."

"And we have to accept their decision, whatever it is. Only they know what this is about. Only they know what the right thing to do might be."

"He's never been a great judge of that before." said Dean.

"But Jules is. She knows what's behind this and she knows whether their relationship can be salvaged. She knows whether it should be salvaged."

"It should." said Dean.

"You know better than anyone, sometimes these things just don't work out."

"No. He's had his share of things not working out. Heaven, the Apocalypse, Purgatory, April, the damn Empty, the Leviathans, Raphael, everything. Over and over, he put everything on the line for us and over and over, he lost it all. He's not losing this, too. He's not losing Jules."

"It has to be their decision and whatever they decide, we have to accept it and support them both. We also have to look after Sarah and Jack, who will not be happy if they break up."

"True." said Dean.

"And I know what it'll do to you, too. I do. I'm not trying to make light of that. I know what you want for him. I want it too. But if it doesn't happen, they're all gonna need us."

"Yeah. If it happens, you know I'll support them, but unless and until it happens, I'd rather not consider it a possibility."

"I can understand that." said Sam.

"Meeting her was so good for him. He suddenly got to matter to someone."

"Because he never mattered to you?" said Sam.

"He never got to be my first priority, but he was hers. She got all his moods and misunderstandings and she loved all those quirky little ways that make the rest of us want to punch him in the face."

"Pretty sure that's just you."

"When things were going well between them, he'd talk about the future like he planned to be in it. She made him laugh. Hell, she even made him dance."

"Sarah. Who also made you dance." said Sam.

It felt like Sam was trying to tell him something. "You think they're really breaking up, don't you?"

"No."

"Then why are you arguing with me?"

"How am I arguing with you, Dean?"

Dean hesitated. He suddenly wasn't sure. "You're not arguing with me?" he said.

"No, I'm not. You're right. Jules has been good for him. Jules has been good for all of us, but especially him. She's made him believe in himself a little more. She's encouraged him to have opinions and express them. She may not have been the one who made him dance, but she definitely convinced him the western outfit was a good idea."

"Yeah, she did." said Dean.

"I want them to patch things up as much as you do. He's lost without her. It's like when you were ... When Mi ... "

"Yeah," said Dean quickly, "Let's not talk about that, okay?"

"Sorry."

"Because it's over." said Dean, "Not because it's ... "

"Yeah, of course." said Sam.

"It is over." said Dean.

"I know it is." said Sam. Neither could get much conviction into his voice.

Dean looked at his watch again. "Do you think they're okay?"

"Are you okay?" said Sam.

"I'm not the one throwing his life away for nothing."

"No, that doesn't sound like you at all." said Sam, a hint of amusement in his tone.

Dean didn't rise to the bait. "He needs her. He has to know he needs her."

"I get the feeling his needs are not his primary consideration."

"They never are. That's the problem. In his head, he needs to set her free, so he'll do it, even if that's the last thing she wants. He never listens to anyone else and his own assumptions are so wide of the mark that he should be ... " He struggled for words.

"Checking every thought with us before he acts on it?" said Sam.

"Yes! Why not? We've been around the block a few times. He's straight out of Heaven. He still has glitter behind his ears."

"Glitter?" said Sam.

"You know what I mean. He's got no experience ... not of human things. He needs guidance. We should be in there with them, helping him to understand."

"Or we could trust them to figure things out." said Sam.

"Yeah, which has worked so well, so far."

"Look, I feel the same way. I wanna protect him too. I can't stand to see him hurt himself like this, but there are things we can't protect him from. There are things he has to work out for himself."

"If they split permanently, I think it'll kill him." said Dean.

"I know you do," said Sam, "And you never could stand idly by and see one of us get hurt."

"Is that a bad thing? You're my brothers."

"No, it's not a bad thing, it's a Dean thing and I won't criticise it or condemn it, but it means that anything that hurts either of us does a number on you, too. Believe me, I understand what you're going through."

"But you still think I should stay out of it."

"It's their relationship. We have to let them decide."

"Even when we know one of them is a self-destructive child with all the understanding of human relationships of a hermit nun?"

"Even then, yes." said Sam, "Although I think the hermit nun may surprise you."

"This sucks." said Dean.

"Yeah, it does." said Sam, "Drink your whisky."