AN/ Sorry to keep yall waiting on this chapter because of that crazy cliff hanger, a lot of people have been dm'ing me wantin to know when all that gets resolved and so without further ado, i present you; Death of A Hermione; Interlude, The Braf Equivalency
As Spiders was agreeing with dogMinerva's reflection's musings on how cool it would be if former Scrubs and Garden State superstar, Zach Efron would show up.
But...
That wasn't the only thing Spiders was doing.
If you recall the past chapter then you'll be familiar with the concept of Spiders's left hand, with the letters P,U,N, and,X tattooed across the knuckles of which brushed past her pulsing, lavender glow, Wishing stone...
BAM!
There was a violent burst of near-blinding lavender light which rippled out from center of the Wishes stone and then instead of a lavender gem there stood none other than Zach Braf himself!
"OHMYGODOHMYGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODD!" Spiders and dogMinerva's reflection both cry out in near-unison like two excited flows sync'd up after having flown by each other for so long, gushing out to sea...
dogMinerva just loves Zach Braf! She is even happier than that time Minerva took her to the Courtney Love Day Spa in Malibu, California... USA WHERE THE TWO HAD GOT LIquid Methadone Enemas accompanied by a crash course on Handwritting Forgery... but Zach Braf! On Her Plane! This was just TOO Much!
"AHHH ZACH BRAF I FUCKING LOVE YOU!" she cries out straining in vain against the cold pane of her mirror-confines... in her excitement she reflects of the mirrorlights from the overhead flourescents and in the small puddles on the floor and even on the greasy sheen on Spiders's forehead and received a compound spider-like view of the sultryhandsome and desirous actor...
...If she can't be close to him she'l settle for being all around him...
Spiders stands, still dumbstruck, trying to find the words to express her overwhelming joy "your so great you made scrubs and then Garden State!"
"I also did 'Wish I Was Here" but Spiders hadn'ts een that one yet...
Zach Braf brainstorms a qurky and fun way to make his pressence known but itd also have to be very sincere because Zach has all kinds of feelings. About love and stuff like that. Death even... sometimes... anyways, it would appear he took too long beacuse; "oh my God Zacj Braf!" scremed out a 3rd year Slytherin. Even cold hearted snake boys love Zach B... Everyone does
"I watch Garden State every day it's so quirky + unique but also sincere and emotionl."!
'yeah, basically everyone but me is an unoriginal and heartless piece of shit' Zach agrees.
Fire tONGS uses the blessings of the Sky to find Zach Barf. And she teleports to him...
"I can't begin to tell u how important S.C.R.U.B.S. was to me, being Azn. As an Asian America living abroad it meant the world to me to seee Scrubs prove that a white person and a black person can be firends so long as the black guy is light skinned and thhey're both chemically castrated. I love that eposode where they lose their genitals because they sat on the x ray machines looking at each others buttholes too long and got taintcancer and had to have their penises removed because of all the tumors that grew on them {Authors note; this 'stairway dimension' has that as an official episode of scrubs and not just a fan theory end AUTHORSNOTE/
"Yes," Zach Braf agrees sagely. "That's why I had myself and the whole cast castrated. For sincerity."
"Castrati are cool!" Spiders exclaims, her and dogMinerva's reflecction are still swampedout on Boogers though forget about them
"Weee-eell," sighed Zach casually. "I guess I just got caught up in the momoent"
A bunch of dead elfs were all around him now. He had been walking for a while. He picked up one of the dead elfs that lal the passengers seemed to do their damned est to ingore and put it on his head. That was what it took to get some goddamned peace and quiet on Christmas nonetheless!
Zach was always very warm to his fans but this was a very long plane ride indeed and Christmass to boot and he used the dead elf to get some privacy while he strolled down the aisles.
What else did he see?
Well there was an Indian girl. He grabbed her wrist. 'whats your name'
She didn't want to look at him. She didnt want to confront the filth she walked through every day... every christmass day... but he made her. He turned her wrist in such a way she had to look him in the face full frontal.
'Padma' she said.
The Indian girl spat a phlegm of blood crusted lung detritus onto the aisle. 'Name's Padma Patil, sir'
Zacch Braf nodded at the girl. She looked an awful lot like that girl who was hidding in the bathroom earlier. Not Spiders or that crazy reflection but the Indian girl, Parvarti he reckoned, had been holed up in htere. Layin low... some reason or other, he reckoned there was meat to that question and he aimed to sink his teeth in it.
Into the mystery, into hte night, Zach Braf plowed on, oblivious to the Death Wails of one of the 8 Hermiones resounding just then through the very soul of the earth...