To Become a Father

by Onlyafraidoffear

The many ways Gildarts never found out that he was a father, and the one way he should have.

75. Dreamworld

Dreamworld

Summary: It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, but sometimes the dream is so much sweeter than reality. Cana gets placed under a spell that has left her in an endless sleep, and the only person who can save her is Cana herself- but will she want to wake up from this wonderful dream? Team Natsu goes in to lend a hand, but do they really know her as well as they think they do?

Disclaimer: I don't own

Warning: violence, blood, past suicide attempt, referenced physical self harm, alcohol as a form of self harm, self hatred, depression, bad coping strategies, trauma, graphic imagery, abandonment issues, lots of issues, and stuff that is so vague I'm not sure how to write it out as a warning so beware

AN: I seriously considered calling this 'sleeping beauty' but that felt a little too on the nose. Also: I am, in fact, aware that heffalumps are elephants and not hippos, but in this case we have one thats a hippo. This is either my greatest piece I've written yet, or this was a waste of a month. Either way, please enjoy the chapter that now holds the honor of being my longest chapter to date!

Cana woke up slowly, the sweet embrace of sleep bleeding into wakefulness.

She smiled into her pillow.

It had been a good dream, but now it was time to get up to face the day.

Two quick knocks at her bedroom door had her rolling over and pretending to still be asleep, hiding a grin as the door opened.

"Oh my, still asleep?" Gildarts said in mock disapproval," I suppose I need to give my sleeping beauty her kiss to wake up!" He swooped down and covered her face in obnoxious kisses that had the brunette giggling.

"I'm up! I'm up!" She declared, sitting up in the bed.

This had been their morning routine for as long as she could remember. She'd pretend to be asleep and he'd pretend to believe her, then he'd wake her up. It didn't matter how old she got, this always stayed the same, and it never failed to be the best part of her day.

Her father laughed and pressed another kiss to her forehead," Good morning Princess, your Mom's making pancakes and I've got bacon on the grill."

"Chocolate chip pancakes?" She questioned seriously, getting an equally serious nod back.

"Is there any other way to eat them?"

Cana playfully scrunched up her face," Maybe- if you're a heathen."

The Ace once again nodded as though this was a truth of the universe," If you're a heathen." He agreed, then pressed another kiss to her head," Seriously though- get up. You were planning to take a job today right? If you don't get a move on all the good ones will be gone."

"I know- I'm getting up." She said, pushing back the covers and stretching to prove it. "I'll be down in five minutes."

"Sounds like a plan." He said with a grin, before exiting her small bedroom.

The brunette stood up and walked over to her window and basked in the warmth of the sun.

She got the feeling today was going to be a good day.

oOOOOo

This was very, very bad.

Lucy hadn't been in Fairy Tail very long- but in the few months she'd been with the guild it had never felt this… tense, anxious, scared? What was the right word here?

Cana was laid out on one of the tables, utterly still.

If it wasn't for the shallow, but steady, rise and fall of her chest, the brunette could almost have been mistaken for a corpse.

How could this have happened?

Cana was a strong wizard- apparently, she was on par with Erza and Mira when she put her mind to it- so how could this job have gone so wrong?

The card mage had decided to take a high ranking job flushing out some kind of invasive species of boar, and then it had turned out that the person who had put in the request had lied about, well, everything.

The boars existed- but they were gigantic, black-magic fueled, hell beasts, being driven by some dark wizard who was using them to try to find an artifact that had ties to Zeref. A jet-black spinning wheel that was said to bring great suffering to all affected. Everything had quickly spiraled out of control, and despite having total grounds to leave, Cana had decided to continue on, but had called for back up to be safe.

By the time the members of Team Natsu had arrived, the boars were all bacon and the dark wizard had been taken out by whatever spell was guarding the spinning wheel… and Cana was lying next to the wheel totally still.

Nothing they did could wake her up- not shaking her, not yelling, tickling, dumping ice water on her; even Wendy's healing magic was totally ineffective, much to the bluenette's distress. And after a while of panicking, they had finally decided to bring both the wheel and the unconscious mage back to the guildhall.

Now half the guild was frantically searching the archives for any clues that could help them save her and the other half were holding a silent vigil as they waited for Master to return from his conference.

"I wonder if she's dreaming." Gray mumbled quietly from his place at her side.

Juvia squeezed his hand," Don't worry my darling- Cana is strong and I'm sure Master will know what to do!"

Macao snorted bitterly from his place by the bar," There's no guarantees- Master's not all-knowing. For all we know this is something that doesn't even have a cure."

"Don't talk like that!" The ice wizard growled," There's got to be a way to fix this- and if Master doesn't know anything, we ask everybody until we find someone that does!"

"As much as I want to agree with you Gray, sometimes its not that simple." Erza said solemnly," Ancient magic is as unknown and forgotten as it is powerful. I want to believe that whatever this is can be reversed, but the reality is that it may not be. For all we know this spell might be permanent or have a catch that would make reversing it even more dangerous than leaving it alone."

Before the ice wizard could say anything (or attack the redhead) the doors of the guildhall creaked open, admitting entry to the man everyone had been waiting for.

"Master!" Several people called out, but the old man ignored them as he hurried over to the brunette's side.

"Any change?" He asked seriously, receiving a round of shaking heads.

"Nothing yet Master- do you know what's wrong with her?" Lucy asked in concern, but the old man held up a hand.

"Whole story. No details spared. Now." He ordered.

After several minutes of rehashing the events as they all understood them, the old man examined the comatose girl, oddly paying particular attention to her hands, before inspecting the spinning wheel that had caused this whole mess.

"Get everyone up here." He ordered," I don't want to have to explain this twice."

They didn't waste any time, and soon the entire guild was present: every table was filled and every open space of wall taken, as they all waited for the verdict.

Makarov heavily sat down beside Cana, looking as though he'd aged twenty years," The spinning wheel is a cursed object that, contrary to what you seem to believe, actually pre-dates Zeref."

That made everyone start in surprise. Zeref was always held as the end-all be-all of dark wizards, so much so that whenever there was a dark artifact it was usually associated with him, but… black magic had existed long before the time of the most infamous black wizard in history, and it has continued to exist long after his time ended.

"The spinning wheel's curse in and of itself is actually more of a misnomer than anything- it is not the victim that it truly harms, but the family and friends who love them. We see our sister, our daughter, our friend slowly waste away while there is nothing we can do to ease her burden and we suffer far more than the person under the curse does."

"What do you mean Master?" Mira asked with worried eyes," You're being very cryptic, what actually happened?"

The old man gently lifted the sleeping beauty's right hand," I don't know how or when it happened- but Cana must have pricked her finger on the wheel's spindle, which is what caused the curse. This is known as the Sleep of the Centuries; it traps its victim in an unending sleep. She will continue to sleep until she either starves to death or the spell is broken."

"So, we can break it!" Somebody yelled in excitement, infecting the rest of the room, before the miniature guildmaster spoke again, shattering the mood.

"In theory- yes. In practice… it is much harder than you might think." He grasped Cana's hand unconsciously as he continued," The only person who can break the spell is Cana herself- and it is unlikely to happen."

"What do you mean?"

"The spell has Cana experiencing her greatest dream, a truly perfect day in her life, where everything is beautiful, safe, and warm. The Sleep of the Centuries' greatest weakness is simultaneously its greatest strength. The victim can awaken at any time, but they choose not to, because who would want to leave a world created just for them, a world where they are happy and everything is exactly how they want it to be? A world without struggle or pain, where everyone is happy and you don't have any worries."

Natsu abruptly stood up, his chair crashing to the ground behind him," I don't believe this!" He shouted," Cana's tough- there's no way she would just let herself be like one of those princesses who wait to be rescued!" The pinkette was about to continue his tirade when a light popped on above his head and he dove for the bar.

"Natsu what are you doing?" Lucy asked incredulously.

The dragon slayer found what he was looking for and held it up triumphantly," All those princesses in the stories need their true loves to kiss them in order to wake up right?" He said excitedly," Maybe that'll work here too!"

He scampered over to his comatose friend and pressed the bottle of whiskey to her lips.

For moment, the entire guild held its breath, as they all anxiously waited to see if it would work.

It didn't.

Natsu pouted," I thought for sure that would work."

"You idiot!" Gray snapped," Did you finally lose whatever brain cells you had left?! Those stories need true loves kiss, and you use whiskey?!"

The pink haired pyromaniac looked offended," Well Cana loves booze right! It was worth a shot at least!"

Makarov shook his head," A valiant effort Natsu, but some things are better left to the storybooks."

"Wait- Master you said that Cana's trapped in her mind, right?" Warren said, a light going off in his head.

The old man raised and eyebrow and conceded," Essentially yes."

"What if we send someone in- someone who can tell her to wake up? Who can explain what happened and that it's all a dream?"

Even the air had gone still as everyone desperately focused on the old guildmaster.

Slowly, the miniature man nodded," That might just work."

Then all hell broke lose as everyone began fighting over who would get to do it.

"That girl's as good as my daughter- for years I'm the one who raised her so I should go in!"

"She's my daughter too- you don't get to claim that right!"

"Cana's saved me, so its time I return the favor!"

"She's my sister! I'm the one who protects her!"

"QUIET!"

The fighting stopped; some people frozen mid-punch as they stared at the now- gigantic guildmaster glaring down at them. "There will be no fighting when her life is at risk! Warren- I want a breakdown of risks."

The telepath jerked to stand at attention and began talking," Going into someone's head isn't as easy as you think it should be- our minds are complex and there are a lot of hidden dangers to outsiders. Getting in is the easy part, getting out- that's tricky. If whoever we send in gets killed by something they encounter- that's it. Game over, no do-overs. They're dead. And beyond that- you have to find out where she is in order to bring her out."

Gray straightened up," Okay- so what do I need to know?"

"Hey- nobody say you were going- "

"Tough!" The ice wizard snarled," She's my sister- she'd do the same for me! I know her better than anyone, so I should have the best chance of finding her."

"Are you kidding Ice-for-Brains?" Natsu said incredulously," You probably wouldn't last one second- "

Erza interrupted," You couldn't possibly go alone! Warren, is there a limit to how many people we can send in- in a situation like this there should be safety in numbers."

The telepath slowly shook his head," Um, I mean as long as its under six people it shouldn't be a problem."

The armored wizard nodded firmly," Alright then: so Gray, Natsu, and I go without saying. Lucy, Wendy, Happy- which of you will come with us?"

The three looked between themselves, but Happy answered first.

"I can't say I'm excited to go into someone's head- but you guys may need me for a quick escape. So, I suppose I'll just have to come along." The blue cat inspected his claws as though he was doing them a favor.

"Glad to have you on board little buddy!" Natsu said with excitement as his feline friend happily perched on his head.

"If it's okay with you Wendy, I'd like to take this one." Lucy said firmly, "Cana's my best friend- she's done too much for me to just sit back and wait."

Wendy looked a bit put out, but nodded," Cana's like my big sister, and I want to help her, but I guess staying out here might work better. If something happens to you guys, then I can heal you from the outside- that might not be as good, but I'll do my best!"

"So, it's decided then."

The group turned to look at the Master, who looked at them with a quiet pride," Alright, Warren, let's get going."

The man nodded," Okay, you five I want you to form a circle around Cana- "He carefully positioned them around her and joined their hands over her heart," Now. You guys are going to feel a falling sensation when you enter in, and its important to keep your heads on straight. Don't forget why you're there or get distracted- and when you find Cana you have to be specific when you tell her to wake up. You cannot leave things open to interpretation."

"Got it." Lucy said with a firm nod, before she thought of something. Thinking quickly, the blonde pulled a pen out of her pocket and jotted everything down on the back of her hand. "We can call this our backup!" She said triumphantly, holding up her ink-covered hand.

"Good thinking Lucy!" Natsu said with a grin.

As soon as the blonde was back in position, Warren started the spell.

"Five, four, three, two, one. Mind Walk."

oOOOOo

The first sensation Lucy had was falling… then of hearing someone screaming.

It took her a second to release that not only was it multiple someones screaming, but that one of them was her.

She cut herself off and frantically tried to get her bearings, but she hit the ground before she could do much of anything.

All the wind was knocked out of her as she and the rest of Team Natsu landed into a pile on the hard ground.

"Ow! Gray move your- "

"-that's my foot!"

"Get your hand off of my- "

"Excuse me?"

The four wizards and cat looked up and blinked in surprise.

Why was there a purple and orange polka-dotted hippopotamus in a three-piece suit?

Better question- why was the purple and orange polka-dotted hippopotamus in the three-piece suit talking?

The brightly-colored animal adjusted its monocle as it looked down on them with a disdain usually seen on nobles looking down on commoners," You are being much too disruptive. If you must argue, would it trouble you to do so a bit more quietly?"

The members of Team Natsu just stared dumbly for a moment, before the pink-haired dragon slayer asked the obvious question.

"What the hell are you?"

"How rude!" It said in offence, puffing up in anger," My name is Sir Norbert and I, good sir, am a Heffelump! Who are you? I've never seen you lot before!"

"Excuse him Sir Norbert." Erza said in her usual unflappable manner," We just arrived you see, and we are in a bit of a hurry- we are trying to find our friend Cana. Would you happen to know where she is?"

"Cana?" The Heffalump asked in open confusion, before it seemed to click," Oh! You are referring to Miss Rebecca! Yes- I'd almost forgotten that people used to call her 'Cana'."

"Rebecca?" Gray asked in confusion.

"Yes- my Mistress' true name. Though the people who looked after her insisted on referring to her by her middle name for reasons I have never understood."

"Huh. I never would have expected that." Lucy said dumbly, getting four nods.

Then something seemed to click for the ice wizard.

"Hey- wait a second I know you!" Gray said in surprise," You're one of the toys Cana keeps by her bed!"

Sir Norbert practically radiated pride as he smugly responded," Ah- so you have heard of me. Yes, I am one of the few companions that she has kept from her childhood days. Now, if you don't mind, I must be going- I have an important tea to get to."

The dark-haired wizard suddenly smirked," Just out of curiosity, would the others that you're going to meet happen to be named 'Mr. Fuffles', 'Professor Snuffly Sucklesworth', 'Humphrey', 'Roo', and 'Her Royal Highness Princess Gumdrop'?"

"Why yes." The heffalump said in surprise," How did you know?"

Gray waved him off with a small snicker," We've been close for a long time."

"Well have a nice day!" Sir Nobert said happily, climbing onto a nearby bicycle and cheerfully peddling away.

For a moment it was all they could do to watch him ride away.

"…'Her Royal Highness Princess Gumdrop'?"

"Cana's got weird taste in names, let's just leave it at that. She's also got a singing trout named Steve."

Erza shook it off," While interesting, that wasn't helpful- we need to figure out where Cana is and soon."

"Erza's right." Lucy agreed," Lets see if we can find someone else… uhm, actually, where are we?"

It was that moment that everyone realized that they had been so distracted by the technicolor, talking hippo, that they hadn't truly looked at their surroundings.

It was… odd, to put it mildly.

They were inside an eerily deserted Victorian style city that appeared to be made entirely out of candy. The buildings had translucent hard candy walls and spun-sugar windows. Candy sticks forming the roofs and the cobblestones streets they were standing on appeared to be gum drops. Over the crest of a small hill they spotted a river that appeared to be made out of chocolate.

"Cana's brain is weird." Happy commented, getting a round of nods.

Weird was a bit of an understatement.

"We don't have time for this." Gray snapped," Let's pick a direction and go with it. We're bound to find someone or something eventually!"

"That's as good an idea as any." The armored wizard agreed and pointed in the direction the hippo had gone in," If nothing else we know that there will be others in that direction. Let us be off."

oOOOOo

"And we thought candy town was weird."

"Yeah." Lucy said dumbly as she stared.

They hadn't managed to find Sir Norbert again, but after Natsu decided to go into one of the houses and when they had followed him, they had fallen down the rabbit hole, figuratively speaking.

Now they were in the middle of a bustling hospital.

Erza turned to the nearest person," Excuse me, would you mind explaining…" She trailed off when not only did the person not respond to her, they walked through her like some kind of ghost.

"GHOSTS!" Happy shrieked, hiding his face in the pyromaniac's hair," We're surrounded by ghosts!"

"Actually, I don't think that's what's happening." The blonde said thoughtfully, glancing around at the hospital staff. "I think… I think we might be inside one of Cana's memories."

"Her memory?" Natsu said in surprise, turning in a circle to look around them," If this is her memory- where is she?"

"Uh- guys? I think she's over here." At the sound of the shock coloring Gray's voice, the rest of team Natsu wandered over and felt their jaws drop.

"Cana?!"

It was their friend, but- older?

"Wait…" Lucy said slowly," That's not Cana."

"Then- who is she?"

Before the celestial wizard could answer someone walked straight through them and into the room.

"Hello Ms. Alberona- how are you feeling?"

The not-Cana turned over to look at the ghost of the doctor, away from whatever had her attention, and gave the man a smile," I'm doing just fine- when am I going to hear about the test results?"

The man grinned," Lab just sent them up- all cardiac screenings came back clear, and her lungs are fine. Little Miss Arcana is one healthy little girl."

"Oh, thank God." The woman, who could only be their friend's mother, said in relief.

"That said- with your family history I do recommend getting her genetically screened in the future."

A little cooing sound distracted the entire room- both the memories and the wizards alike.

"Oh, looks like someone's awake my little darling." The mother cooed, lifting a pink-wrapped bundle out from a basket that had previously been hidden to the spectators, who could only stare at the newborn form of their friend.

"We should get out of here." Natsu said solemnly, tearing his eyes away from the infant form of one of his childhood friends," This isn't helpful."

"Natsu's right." The scarlet haired girl agreed quietly and slowly they all forced themselves out, somehow winding up back on the street they had just left.

"…Her mother was so beautiful." Lucy whispered.

"Yeah- but what was that doctor talking about with the genetic thing?' Happy asked, his wings drooping slightly as he floated next to them.

"It doesn't matter." Gray said, making them all turn to him," We never should have seen that to begin with- we came in here to find Cana and wake her up. Not to rummage through her head like its some kind of playground!"

"Yeah- but we weren't getting anywhere wandering around." The pinkette pointed out," I didn't see you have any other ideas."

"…lets just keep on moving." The ice wizard muttered, unable to find a comeback.

As they all kept moving forward, Lucy felt something nag at her. There was something about that memory that was significant, but for the life of her she couldn't put her finger on what.

oOOOOo

"Where the hell are we now?!"

The fearless adventurers stared in discombobulation as they looked around at the sudden change in surroundings. One second, they had been rounding a corner of candy-town, the next they were standing in some kind of tunnel with wires going across the walls and ceiling.

The celestial wizard felt her eyes slide right off them, then she took stock of the writing on each one," Hey guys- wait a second." The blonde crouched down the one lowest to the ground and slowly stood back up again. "This place is like a maintenance tunnel."

"What?"

Lucy was getting excited," Look at the wires! They're all marked with things like 'eyes', 'tongue', 'heart'- this must be some kind of manifestation of how her brain controls her body! And if my hunch is right- "The blonde searched until she found what she was looking for," Look that wire's the one we need! It says 'subconscious'! That can be a term used for dreams!"

"So, what you're saying is we follow it, and we'll find Cana?" Gray asked, but she hesitated.

"Maybe? I mean this isn't exactly a tried and true method but it's better than nothing."

"Fair enough." Erza said, taking charge, "Let us follow the wire and see what happens."

After several minutes of walking in silence before they heard it. A mischievous little giggle.

"Oooh- we have guests Dorochet!"

"I can see that Martle, what do they think they're doing here? This isn't their mind."

"Why I haven't the foggiest- Robyn?"

A high-pitched cackle sent chills down their spines.

"Who's there!" The armored wizard demanded," My name is Erza Scarlet- come forward so that we may speak with you. We are trying to find our friend Cana- she's been placed under a curse that has trapped her inside her dream. Can you help us find her?"

It was quiet and then a little ball of blue light zipped out of nowhere, coming to a stop right in front on the red head.

"Hello Erza Scarlet- my name is Martle and I'm a… guardian of sorts. We keep everything running smoothly, and you certainly aren't helping us with that."

A second ball of light, this one yellow, flashed to the side of them, winding around Natsu so quick the dragon slayer's eyes were replaced by spirals. "Martle- these are guests. And they just want to help our girl- we should send them on their way."

"Oh Izumi you spoil my fun!"

"Come strangers," The yellow light said sweetly," I'll lead you out. If you take the long way around you would still find her, but I'll give you the shortcut."

"Thank you Miss Izumi.' Erza said, taking care to hide her apprehension.

"Follow me then."

The ball of light led them to a dead end.

"Hey- this some kind of a joke?" Natsu snapped.

"Oh not at all." The got the impression that if they could see Izumi's face, she would be grinning at them with far too many teeth. "You'll find our girl in the Valley of Dreams, though it is such a shame to wake her, but life must go on I suppose. In order to get there you'll need to cross the Bridge of Destiny, cut through the briar patch, and then slip through the forest. Don't let the animals touch you and try not to prick yourselves on the briar's thorns! That wouldn't be pleasant. Have a safe landing!"

"Wait what do you- "Gray never got to finish his sentence as the floor suddenly gave out under them and then they were falling.

oOOOOo

"That settles it- when we find Cana I'm gonna kill her!"

"You don't mean that Natsu."

"Yes I do!"

"Enough." Erza said breaking up the childish argument," We have to vote- do we follow Izumi's instructions or not?"

They all looked between themselves.

"I don't know about you guys, but I think those directions might be the best chance we got." Happy said solemnly.

"You're right little buddy." Natsu said with a sigh," Lets find this bridge and get it all over with."

"I wonder what those things were though." Lucy said thoughtfully," Were they spirits? Or stars...?"

"Who knows." Gray said dismissively," Let's just keep going."

"I think I can see the bridge." The scarlet haired girl said triumphantly," it shouldn't be long now."

"There is one thing I am curious about." The ice wizard commented as they all approached a broken-down old bridge," Why d'you think they called this the 'Bridge of Destiny'? I mean what's so important about it?"

"Maybe it represents something?" Lucy pondered.

"Doesn't matter." Natsu said," Lets just get over it and find Cana!"

But as soon as they set foot on the bridge they all felt a jolt of electricity run through them and suddenly it was almost like they were back in a memory, but it was different from the first. Where the first one was warm and beautiful, this one was icy and terrifying.

An image of Cana, younger than the friend they knew, was sitting on the edge of the bridge, tears running down her face.

She looked horrible, her eyes shadowed and her skin unhealthily pale, with the purple-blue of her veins standing out in sharp contrast.

"Two hundred and thirty-seven: If I die then my father will never know the truth. Two hundred and thirty-eight: Master will feel guilty. Two hundred and thirty-nine…" She continued in a monotone.

"What… what is this?" Gray asked shakily, staring at his best friend on the edge.

"You guys… I think I understand why it's the Bridge of Destiny." The blonde said quietly, fighting the urge to vomit," Cana almost killed herself… I recognize this place. This bridge is on the edge of town. This must be the memory of how she talked herself off the ledge."

"You're wrong!" Natsu snapped," Cana would never-!"

The memory form of their friend let out a sob as she leaned forward and then seemed to change her mind, pulling at her hair," You're so pathetic. You can't even do this!"

"When… when we find Cana," Erza said in horror," We will have a lot to talk to her about. Starting with when this happened and why. Let's… let's keep going."

"Yeah… that sounds like a good idea."

It took all they had to stop themselves from running over to rip her off the ledge, to yell at her because what the fuck did she think she was doing?! To hug her, to tell her how loved she was, to ask her why…

But they managed to withstand the impulse, because ultimately, this was a memory and they wouldn't be able to change what had already happened, no matter how much they wanted to.

They walked in silence for a while, no one able to muster up the ability to talk, when something finally clicked in Lucy's head that made her stop.

"Her father…"

"Huh? What was that Lucy?" Happy asked quietly.

"On the bridge… Cana said, 'if I die then my father will never know the truth': what truth?"

That got everyone's attention, as they all pondered the question.

"You know… I don't think she's ever mentioned her dad before." Gray said thoughtfully," She talks about her mom, her old dog, and her hometown, but I don't think she's ever mentioned her dad."

The blonde shook her head," Its more than that! In the memory we saw- that had to have been right after Cana was born- we saw her mom but where was her dad?"

"That… I don't have answer." Erza admitted," You may strike me for my incompetence!"

"What does it matter?" Natsu asked, everyone ignoring the armored wizard's offer," Her dad wasn't there, is it really that important?"

Lucy slowly shook her head," I'm not sure, but I think that there may be more to this story then we know. I don't have any proof yet, but… I think that he might be the key that makes a lot of this make sense."

The dragon slayer snorted," If whoever her dad is did something to her then I say we track him down and beat him up until he apologizes."

"I'm down with that." Gray said, cracking his knuckles," But lets just keep going- for all we know there's another explanation for this."

"Maybe…"

oOOOOo

When Izumi had mentioned the briar patch, they had envisioned small bushes of tiny thorns maybe knee high. What they got instead…

Towering walls of twisted branches that stretched to the sky, with lethal spikes as long and thick as a grown man's arm. So black they seemed to absorb the light around them. There was a presence about it, that had the hairs on the back of their necks stand on end and the instincts they had carried over from their ancestors screamed at them to run, to get away, to put as much distance between themselves and this horrible place as they could.

"So," Happy said with a nervous gulp," Who gets to go first?"

Erza squared her shoulders and walked forward, drawing a sword from her side and raising it up," I'll cut a path- "

"ERZA DON'T!" Lucy yelled as she leaped for to grab the Fairy Queen," Remember this is Cana's head- we don't know what would happen if we destroy something! For all we know we could hurt her by being reckless!"

The scarlet haired girl lowered the blade," My apologies Lucy, you're correct, that could have been catastrophic. Thank you."

Natsu snorted," Guess there's nothing to it, we just have to jump in and avoid everything."

"Am I the only one that's wondering what happens if we touch them?" Gray said aloud," I mean- all she said was 'that would be bad'- what constitutes as 'bad' here?"

There was a tense silence as everyone felt their imaginations run wild.

Titania shook her head," Let's just avoid them and leave it a mystery." She said firmly and set off into the bramble, beginning the long task of weaving and crawling through the forest of thorns.

The remaining members of Team Natsu shared a glance, and then one by one followed Erza into the great unknown.

For a while, everything was fine.

While their clothes snagged on errant spikes, everyone avoided getting pricked themselves, but they found that the deeper they went, the harder the journey became. The thorns thickening and multiplying until they were contorting themselves around them, scarcely daring to breathe.

Then it happened.

Gray, who had long abandoned his shirt, was attempting to follow Erza through a particularly tight opening, when a spike pricked him right in the middle of his unprotected back.

He screamed.

The others were terrified as they were forced to watch their friend writhe and twist, inadvertently throwing his body into other spikes which made his screams get even louder.

"GRAY!" Everyone screamed, but Lucy was able to crawl forward just enough to grab the half-naked boy's shoulder which made him snap out of it.

Heaving ragged breaths as he attempted to steady himself on trembling arms, sweat dripping down his body, he asked," What… what was that?"

"I don't know." The blonde said helplessly," You touched the thorn and you just… lost it."

"Are you alright Gray?" Erza called from up ahead, and though neither of them voiced it, they could tell that both Happy and Natsu were just as concerned as the girls.

"I- I don't- "He took another gasping breath," It was like… I saw Deliora kill my mother. I saw Ur sacrifice herself while I was useless… it was like I'd lost hope and then everything got worse… I wanted to die, but I… oddly I wanted to keep going like… like I wanted to punish myself for being weak."

Lucy felt a theory start to build in her mind," I think I have an idea but…" Before anyone could stop her (least of all herself) the celestial wizard reached out and purposefully pierced her palm with a nearby thorn.

"NO!"

"LUCY WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"

"STOP!"

But the blonde couldn't hear them. She let out a sob as tears rushed to her eyes, memories of her father ignoring her, shutting the door to keep her out-

And then she was pulled out by a strong arm wrapping around her.

Natsu had crawled forward faster than he'd thought possible and had reached Lucy just in time before the blonde could fall on any other spikes.

"Th-thank you." She said tearfully, wishing that she could hug him back," I know what the thorns do now." She declared, all attention falling on her," These all represent Cana's negative emotions- when I touched the spike, I felt… abandoned. Like someone I loved and trusted turned their back on me… it made me think of my father." She quietly admitted.

Erza then piped up from where she had been remaining still in front of the group, unable to turn back to help," So you're saying- that if we touch the thorns then we will feel what Cana feels?" She asked in mild horror, only for Lucy to shake her head.

"Yes and no. These emotions were all probably felt at different times- like when she was let down or felt like she'd been abandoned. We… we saw the bridge… so I guess the one that Gray touched was from that time. When Cana felt so hopeless she wanted to die." The blonde took a deep breath," I think I get why this place is laid out like it is: you guys remember the candy town? The hippo was a toy she'd held onto from when she was little- it probably holds a lot of positive feelings. The memory was from when she was baby, when everything was happy. The bridge, this place- Izumi sent us to the places that Cana associates with all the bad things that have ever happened to her."

"That… that makes a lot of sense." Happy said meekly from where he was flying above them, acting as a compass to tell them that they were heading in the right direction of a way out. "But… if this place is this bad- what's the forest going to be like?"

No one had an answer.

"We have to keep going." The red head called, the sooner we get out of here the sooner we are out of danger, now that we know what happens when you touch the thorns we have even more motivation to avoid them."

"Erza's right!" Natsu agreed," Lets get the hell out of here!"

In theory it was easy, in practice…

Natsu was the next to fall prey, one prick into his exposed shoulder sent him reeling. Feeling the helplessness of Igneel's disappearance sharper than he ever had before. He thrashed into other branches, each prick like a stab to the heart. Lucy had managed to reach back to ground him, but he accidentally shoved her into a branch herself. Then she was sobbing, feeling worthless as she remembered all the times that she was useless to help her friends.

Gray had pulled them out of it, and they had continued on.

Then it was Erza's turn.

One mistimed movement and a thorn gently pierced her cheek.

And then the redhead screeched and writhed as though she was having a seizure. Smashing into other branches, largely protected by her armor as she relived the horrors of her childhood, of Simon's death, and Jellal's loss. Once again Gray had managed to crawl forward to pull his friend out of it.

Not long after it was Lucy returning the favor, as he was pricked at his exposed armpit.

The worst off by far was Happy.

Happy, who despite being the only one not to touch a thorn, felt a horror and helplessness the likes of which he'd never felt before, as he watched his friends suffer below him. The thorns too thick for him to get close to them, rendering him utterly useless.

Then it was finally over.

The four of them escape the briar, and crawling onto each other, clinging as they all cried together from the trauma of this experience. Wanting the touch of someone they loved to ground them as they tried to process that this part of their journey was over.

But they were all terrified of what was yet to come.

oOOOOo

If the wall of thorns had felt foreboding, the looming forest in front of them radiated a poisonous miasma that they could only describe as evil.

"Its like we're in a story book." Lucy said numbly as she stared at the forest ahead of them," Like little Red Riding Hood as she's about to enter the forest, not knowing about the wolf… but we know about the wolf and just don't know where it is."

"How… how does Cana live like this?" Erza whispered," How has she suffered enough to create all of this." Unsaid, but heard, were the words 'did I do this to her'?

And they were all thinking it too- had they been apart of creating all of this?

What was hidden in those dark trees that swallowed the light? Would they survive to save their friend… or would they need saving themselves?

Natsu stood up," We've come this far. We survived that place because we had each other, we can survive this too. And when we find Cana, we're going to ask her why she's like this. And then we're going to help her." He said in determination.

"Can't believe I'm saying this- but Ash-for-Brains is right." Gray said rising to his feet, having lost his shirt and both his shoes at some point with his pants barely hanging by a thread. "When I get out of here, I'm dragging her to a therapist."

"I'll help." Erza said seriously.

"Me too." Lucy agreed.

Happy wasn't about to be left out," Aye sir!"

"Now," The dragon-slayer cracked his knuckles," Let's do this."

And as one they entered the dark forest, unsure of what would await them inside.

oOOOOo

Lucy screamed as another spectral creature latched its jaws into her leg, the memory it represented playing out in the haze of pain that clouded her mind.

Little Cana, tiny and innocent, looking in on her mother's bedroom, seeing her once lively and wonderful mother frail and gasping for breath as she slowly wasted away.

There was no end to this.

They had barely entered before they had been attacked from all sides: sharp-toothed animals crawling up from the dirt to snap at them, birds that swarmed trying to claw their eyes out, but the worst were the wolves.

The wolves were fast and pursued them even when all the others gave up, they latched onto them, trying to swallow them whole.

It hadn't taken long for all of them to realize that each animal represented a bad memory.

Erza had been the first to be bit, a creature that might have been a raccoon at one point, latched onto her right hand, almost biting down the bone, returning to the vision of Cana on the bridge about to end her life.

Gray had a raven latch onto his skin, digging it's talons into his shoulder and tearing the flesh, his screams of pain complimenting the image of his sister inside a filthy bathroom, tears streaming down her face and sweat clinging to her shaking body, as she vomited up the meager contents of her stomach.

Natsu had it arguably worse as seven separate things that looked like rats latched on at the same moment, being forced to watch as they all excluded Cana from their events and their friend groups. Not even bothering to ask her to come along as they raced off on different adventures and left her sitting there all alone.

Happy had been attempting to dodge the birds, when something that moved too quick to be seen with the naked eye latched onto his wing and dragged him down to earth, a strange memory playing over his eyes of Cana watching Gildarts walk away.

The dragon slayer was shielding his little friend as best he could as they continued to run forward blindly, sides splitting and legs burning, blood dripping from ragged wounds as the kept on going.

Gray let out another scream as a wolf managed to get his right arm, seeing his best friend burst into a small room that looked like the cabin on a ship, she bashing her head against the wall and biting down onto her own arm to muffle her sobs, drawing blood. Then she reached out blindly for the hip flask she used to carry with her, draining it dry as she tried to get control of herself.

For the celestial wizard, she seemed to be receiving pieces of a story she couldn't understand, interspersed amongst the other horrors; Cana's dying mother telling her that her father was in a guild, that if she went to him that he would love her, and of her standing in front of her mother's grave. She saw Cana arrive at the doors of the old guildhall, being so happy when she saw a red-haired man that she had never seen before and then feeling a crushing disappointment as the man walked away. There was a story that made all of this make sense, but she could figure it out later.

For Erza she was reaching the end of her strength, when a white light flashed between the trees.

"THERE'S LIGHT UP AHEAD!" She screamed, as the ethereal shape fluttered just ahead of them. The armored wizard reached out blindly and grasped Lucy's hand, who in turn did the same for Natsu, who grabbed on Gray.

As one they all jolted forward with a burst of speed they hadn't known they were capable of and the wolves fell behind them.

Then it stopped as they burst into a clearing, soft light falling down onto them as they all collapsed into a pile of tangled limbs gasping for breath.

The white light danced in the air, and then condensed itself into a mist that become a human form.

A girl with pale blue hair and eyes, her skin the color of fresh milk, her lips pulling into a smile that exposed teeth like perfect pearls. She was beautiful and radiant, like a star brought to life.

So why was it she was more terrifying than everything they'd left behind them?

She held out her hands, as though inviting them to join her and then breathed in a voice that sounded like wind rushing through the treetops," Let's go to Harmony together."

Then she was gone, and they were all left reeling.

"What was that?" Lucy asked in terror clinging onto Natsu for dear life.

"I don't know." Erza said, all senses on alert as she tried to calm her racing heart," Whatever it was it's gone now, and she helped lead us out of there."

"But what's 'Harmony'?" Happy asked quietly, his voice muffled as he buried his head in Natsu's neck.

"I don't know." Gray breathed, feeling tears slip build in his eyes," I didn't know about any of this."

He had thought that they were close, that they were like siblings, but she had been through all of this and he'd had no idea. He couldn't even begin to explain what half of the things he'd seen were. Visions of her burying a shoe box in the woods, her hoisted up on a swing over a crowd with glassy eyes, of her watching them all leave her behind… he couldn't call her his sister, because he certainly hadn't been a brother to her if he'd been blind to all of this.

Arms wrapped around his neck and he started, opening his eyes to see his vision obscured by blonde hair.

"Don't blame yourself." Lucy said," No one is entirely to blame, no one is totally innocent. Cana's a good actor- I saw her telling everyone she okay enough to know that. We didn't know because she didn't want us to. Because she doesn't think that she's worthy of our love- when we get out of here, we'll just have to prove her wrong."

"I couldn't agree more Lucy." Erza said with a tired smile as she crawled over to join in on the hug, Natsu and Happy quickly joining in.

Once they had all calmed down somewhat, they remained sitting on the forest floor, taking advantage of the respite.

"…I saw her talking to her mom." Lucy said quietly," Her mother was dying and telling her to that her father was in a guild and that he would love her a lot. Of her watching people bury her mother, and I saw a lot of memories of a guy I don't know walking away from her… she felt so abandoned." Tears slipped down her face.

The redhead spoke up," The worst thing I saw… they were celebrating someone getting S-Class… I-I think it was me… and Cana slipped away from the crowd and just… she broke down as soon as she was out of sight. She… she kept saying these horrible things about herself…"

The celestial wizard swallowed nervously," Like what?"

"… 'I'm pathetic', 'not good enough', 'useless'…" The armored wizard almost didn't want to say it," …that we'd all be better off if she was dead…"

"How could she think that?" Natsu asked incredulously, but nobody had an answer.

"I saw something I don't understand." Gray said shakily," Amongst all the other stuff… there was one memory where she was burying a box in the woods, she was crying really hard and her hands were shaking, but I don't know what it was."

The pyromaniac spoke up again," I don't know about any box, but I got a glimpse of her sitting in a bathtub and… and there was blood everywhere."

Happy quietly piped up to fill the silence left by Natsu's admission," I didn't see anything nearly that bad, but I saw her watching Gildarts walk away." He said, ears drooping," She was different ages too, like all this happened at different times. Why would she care about Gildarts?"

"Who's Gildarts?" The blonde asked in confusion.

"He's the strongest wizard in Fairy Tail." Erza said," He took a long job and hasn't been back in three years… now that you mention it Happy, some of what I saw involved him as well…"

"Same here." Natsu said, a puzzled look on his face, Gray nodding in voicing his own experience.

Lucy shook her head," I don't know what he looks like, but a lot of what I saw involved a tall man with red hair…" She trailed off when they all started nodding.

"That's Gilarts." The pinkette confirmed.

"How does all of this piece together?" Erza wondered out loud, before shaking her head and pushing herself to her feet," We've wasted enough time- we have to get moving. Before we can figure out any of this, we need to save Cana first."

They all grinned, climbing to their feet.

"I'm all fired up!" Natsu yelled, the blue cat clambering onto his head.

"AYE SIR!"

"We can do this." Gray said strongly," We've got each other and soon we'll have her. Its all downhill from here."

Just as Lucy was about to voice her own agreement, she finally got a look at the clearing and felt a laugh bubble up out of her throat. "Guys, look up!" She said with a wide smile on her face.

Confused, the others did so and felt smiles of their own grow.

You'd never be able to tell it from the ground, but looking up at the moonlit sky made the shape formed by the trees clear as day.

In the forest that held her worst memories, it seemed Fairy Tail was her light in the darkness.

As the group of battered wizards stared up at their guild's emblem, they all felt a bubbling warmth take shape within them. Somehow… somehow everyone knew that everything was going to be just fine.

oOOOOo

They made it through the rest of the forest without any issue, hands linked together as they ran past the animals and into the golden sunshine at the end.

And golden it was.

The warmth of the sun soaked down to their bones, filling them with a sense of peace like they had never felt before.

Butterflies fluttered past and bees buzzed on their merry way, hundreds of flowers painted the valley in a floral rainbow, filling the air with a sweet perfume, the grass a green carpet, and the sky was a brilliant blue.

The sound of laughter drew their attention and all heads turned to see a family of three having a picnic together. It was Cana, her mother, and the man that Lucy now recognized as Gildarts. It only took a second for it to click in their minds.

Cana's mother telling her about her father on her death bed, Cana arriving at Fairy Tail, always being so sad when he walked away from her…

He was her father.

That made so much of the puzzle click into place that they could guess at the rest.

Cana had come to the guild because her mother had told her that was where her father was, and for whatever reason she had never told Gildarts who she really was. She had to watch as her father walked away, never knowing that he was leaving his daughter behind.

Cana's perfect dream was her parents being together. A world where her mother never died, and her father knew who she was. A world where they were the happy family they could have been.

"You know," Gray said quietly," I never realized just how hard it would be, to see her so happy and to try and make her leave this behind."

"Yeah…" The others agreed, staring at the happy family their hearts heavy.

"HI GUYS!" Cana yelled, having spotted them from her place by her parents," COME ON OVER WE HAVE ENOUGH FOR EVERYONE!"

As Team Natsu walked forward, it took them a second to realize that as they walked their wounds were closing up, leaving no trace of the ordeals they had been through.

"Been a while since I've seen you four." The red head said kindly, before he turned to face Lucy," You must be Lucy- I've heard a lot about you."

"Oh really?" The blonde said with a sad smile," Only the good things I hope."

"Of course Lu." The brunette said as she rolled her eyes," Now eat up- you guys look exhausted!"

They did, somehow, despite knowing that none of it was real, it was the best meal any of them had in years. And at the end of it, after hours of shared stories and laughter, Gray finally decided to break the veil.

"Cana…" He said hesitantly," I don't know how to tell you this but… this is a dream."

The violet eyed girl gave them a sad smile," I know."

It took a second for it to sink in, but before they could say anything she continued on.

"I've known the whole time that this wasn't real." Her mother reached forward and squeezed her daughter's hand," Mom's been dead for years and nothing can change that. Even though I knew that all of this was just a dream… I wanted to enjoy it for a little while, y'know?" She said sadly," Sometimes the lie is so much better than the truth, but it's still a lie."

"You…" Lucy trailed off as she gazed at her friend with new eyes. Cana was so strong. She had survived everything they'd seen, she'd talked herself off the ledge, she put on a brave face because she didn't want them to see her suffer, where anyone else would have buried themselves in the dream world… Cana acknowledged that it was just a dream. "Its… are you ready to wake up?"

The brunette nodded and turned to throw her arms around her parents, who responded by wrapping their child up in their own embrace.

"We love you so much Darling." Gildarts whispered as he pressed a kiss to his daughter's forehead," You take care now."

"And stop drinking so much." Her mother said with a watery laugh," You don't have to quit but at least cut back. And make sure you don't skip any meals. Just… we love you so much Sweetheart. Don't you ever forget that."

"I won't." She promised and then stepped away and gave her friends a small smile, tears shining in her eyes. "Let's go home."

oOOOOo

Lucy felt like her mouth was filled with cotton as she slowly blinked her eyes open.

Wendy looked down at her with open relief," You're awake!"

"Yeah." The blonde rasped, feeling like she hadn't spoken in days," Can I have some water?"

"Oh of course!" The blue-haired girl darted out of sight for a second, retuning with a glass in hand," Take slow sips." She advised as she carefully eased the older girl up so she could drink properly," You guys were out for three days."

"…really?" Lucy asked in surprise. "It felt like a couple hours…" The blonde trailed off as she finally remembered everything that had happened and sat bolt upright.

"Hey! You shouldn't be- "

"Is everyone okay?!"

The timid dragon slayer rung her hands as she nodded," Everybody's okay now- we moved you all to the infirmary when… "The little girl shuddered as she thought of it," You guys had wounds opening up and blood went everywhere…" She shook her head as she tried to chase the memories away," You don't have to worry- I took care of it! You won't even have any scars!"

"…I didn't realize that you would see all that." The Heartfilia heiress said numbly, realizing just how terrifying that must have been for everyone. "In order to get to Cana we had to go through this forest, the animals all represented one of Cana's bad memories and they tried to kill us."

"…It was most unpleasant."

Both girls turned to see Erza sitting up in bed, Gray, Natsu, and Happy seemingly still asleep.

"Erza!" Wendy said happily running over to start checking the redhead over," Don't get up yet- I'll go let everyone else know that you're awake!"

"Wendy is Cana awake?" The armored girl asked seriously, getting a nod from the bluenette.

"Yeah- she was the first of you to wake up." The girl explained," She's taking a shower next door, I can get her if you want." She offered, but the older girl shook her head.

"Thank you for the offer, but I'd hate to interrupt her." Erza said politely," But I wouldn't say no to something to eat if you don't mind."

"I don't mind at all- just give me a few minutes!" The youngest dragon slayer bolting out of the room, presumably to go let everyone know that they were starting to wake up.

For a moment the scarlet haired girl and the blonde sat in silence, before the redhead broke it.

"So… I guess it's all over then." Erza said, something in her voice that Lucy couldn't name, but definitely sympathized with.

"Y-yeah I guess so." She answered,"" At least Cana's awake and maybe we can get some answers about… everything."

A groan prevented the Fairy Queen from answering as both girls looked over to where the pyro was slowly pushing himself up.

"Food." Natsu groaned like a zombie, as he blearily looked around the room, when he spotted Happy he paused for a moment, then grabbed the cat and continued his quest to find breakfast.

"Natsu- you okay?" The celestial wizard asked carefully, trying to determine if the zombie could be reasoned with.

"Foood!"

Okay, that was a no.

Erza slid out of bed, and manhandled the dragon slayer back into bed," I'm sure that when Wendy will come back with something you can eat. Until then, stay put." She ordered, which somehow made it through to the still asleep pinkette.

"…yes Erza…" He grumbled sourly, cuddling the blue cat like a teddy bear as he went back to sleep. A loud snore signaling his success.

Gray let out a groan and reflexively whacked Natsu with a pillow to shut him up… which only succeeded in waking him up.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR YOU DROOPY-EYED BASTARD!" The pink-haired pyromaniac yelled furiously, punching the black-haired boy out of bed," THERE! HOW DO YOU LIKE IT ICE-FOR-BRAINS?!"

The ice-wizard, now awake, lunged in an attempt to kill his least favorite person," WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR JACKASS!"

"ENOUGH! EITHER BEHAVE YOURSELVES OR GET BACK INTO BED!" Erza screamed, hellfire spewing out of her mouth.

Both boys latched onto each other in terror, shaking in fear of the demon in the infirmary.

At this time a certain feline finally woke up," Na'su stop making Erza mad." He scolded in his drowsy state," Bring me fishies… mhmm, fishes…" He trailed off drooling into his pillow at the thought of delicious, juicy fish.

"Wow. Seems like the Dream Team is finally awake."

Everyone froze and slowly turned to see the former sleeping beauty, a wry grin on her face.

"CANA!" The card mage barely had the time to widen her eyes before she was buried under her relieved friends, each one sobbing pathetically.

"Whoa." The brunette said in surprise," What's the matter? You guys are acting like I came back from the dead or something."

"We were so worried about you!" Lucy sobbed," And- and everything we saw- Cana we're so sorry if we made you like that!"

It took the lush a second to process what they were saying, and another to realize what they were probably alluding to.

"Oh yeah… they did say you guys went into my head…" She tried to shake off her uneasiness," … what did you see?"

Gray wrestled his way to be the closest to her," Enough that I'm dragging you to a therapist as soon as we get out of here!"

"Wow it's turned into quite the party." Wendy said with a grin as she took in the dog pile on the floor.

"Indeed." Makarov said fondly," Now, if you all don't mind, think you could give us a brief report? You all scared us a lot."

They stilled and as one they all looked to Cana, silently asking her permission to divulge what they had seen.

She shrugged (or attempted to any way with her body pinned down)," I don't mind if you talk about it, just please don't go blabbing my secrets around to everyone."

Erza was the one to answer," We won't, but I think I speak for everyone when I say that we're going to seriously talk about all this."

The brunette gave them a tired smile," I completely understand- let's do this first and then I'll tell you as much as I can. I promise."

oOOOOo

Three days later they were all gathered in Lucy's apartment, silently looking amongst themselves to figure out who would speak first.

"Since I'm not sure if I've said it yet: thank you all for saving me." Cana said calmly," I only remember the dream itself and when you all stumbled out of the woods. Thank you for coming in to rescue me."

"From how you were talking in there, did you even need saving at all?" Gray asked with a raised eyebrow.

The brunette wavered," Even though I knew it was a dream and understood that I needed to wake up eventually, I don't know when I would have finally said enough was enough. So, with that in mind, you guys still saved me from myself, but even if I would've had the willpower to do it on my own… you guys went into an unknown situation and risked your lives because you wanted to help me." She looked at them all in respect," I don't think you understand how much that means to me."

"After the thorns I think we have a pretty good idea." Happy said quietly, ears drooping as he remembered that horrible place.

Erza clarified when she saw Cana's puzzled look," In order to get to where you were, we had to cross through areas that represented your worst moments, thoughts, and emotions. They took the forms of a briar patch, a dark forest… and a bridge."

The violet eyed girl stilled at the last," … you guys saw that?"

"Yeah we did." Natsu said shortly," How could you do that Cana?" He demanded," How could you think those things about yourself- how could you think for one second that we would be better off without you?!"

She shook her head," I won't lie and say I don't still have those thoughts from time to time, but my suicide attempt was a particularly dark point in my life." She looked around at all of them," I'm better now- I swear! That was a result of a lot happening at once and now I've been able to work to put it behind me."

"How… what… when did that happen?" Lucy asked hesitantly, unsure of what question she wanted to ask.

Cana sighed," I was fourteen. It was a period in my life where I'd just lost out on the S-Class trials for the second time, my drinking had escalated to an extreme level, and my self esteem was low. All of that combined with several other things happening at once led me to that point. I sat on the edge for hours and instead of doing what I went there to do, I started listing my reasons to live. That gave me the perspective I needed to climb down and walk away. After that I got my life back together."

"What other things contributed?" Gray asked, the unasked 'did I cause it' rang loud and clear.

The brunette sighed again," I want to lie to you and say that you had nothing to do with it… but after everything you've been through to help me you deserve the truth. Yes, everyone in my life contributed, not consciously, but in things that my mind interpreted as an insult, as all of you deciding that it would be better if I wasn't there, that I wasn't good enough. A lot of it was jealousy too- me seeing things like your strength, your optimism, your compassion, and your drive, and asking myself why I wasn't like that. Eventually I broke, and before you ask," She said, eyeing the ones who had opened their mouths," No, I am not going to tell you what did it. Because ultimately it isn't important, and in hindsight I know perfectly well that no one involved meant to hurt me, or were even aware that they did. I'm working until I am at a point where I can move on, and I don't want any of you trying to get revenge for something none of us can change."

"…how do you do it?" Lucy asked before she could stop herself," How do you keep on moving like this even with everything else? How did you get so strong?"

Cana let out a short, bitter laugh," I don't move forward because I'm strong; I move forward because I finally realized that whether or not anyone else believed in me, I continued to exist. That relying on others for self-validation is foolish- I needed to believe in myself before anyone else could believe in me. That is what's gotten me this far."

No one knew what to say as they looked at their friend in a new light.

Cana was so brave- she faced her demons without anyone to back her up and had come out the victor. She might not be fully healed, but she was well on her way. And she didn't even realize it. For all that she had overcome, she was still so blind to her own strength.

Natsu stood up and looked the card mage dead in the eye," I believe in you."

Happy adopted the same pose as his best friend," I believe in you too!"

"I believe in you as well Cana." Erza said the smile on her face not detracting from the weight of her words.

"I believe you and don't you ever forget it!" Gray said with shining eyes.

Lucy may have been the last, but her words were just as firm as the other," And I believe in you too." She said with a smile.

Cana looked up at them with wide, startled eyes that projected her vulnerability, and slowly she nodded, the tears starting to fall. "Thank you."

It was a long time before anyone broke the comfortable silence, but Gray finally did so as a memory popped into his head.

"Cana, while we were in the forest there was something- someone- who lead us to safety." He said eyes distant as he recalled her ghostly appearance," She had blue hair and she said, 'let's go to Harmony together'. Do you have any idea who she was?"

The brunette stilled, a conflicted look on her face," I guess I shouldn't be surprised that she's still floating around in my head." She said with a derisive snort that lacked any true feeling.

"So, you do know who she is then?" Erza asked for confirmation.

The violet eyed girl looked at them and sighed," … her name was Miach, and she was every bit my destroyer as she was my savior. That is all I am ever going to say." She said firmly, but then she smiled," But I'm glad she saved you, she always was a walking contradiction right up to the very end."

The members of Team Natsu shared a look.

"Cana- "

"Drop it."

"But- "

"Lucy." Cana said looking the blonde in the eye," I said drop it."

Natsu decided to change the subject," So… Gildarts is your dad."

She sighed," Yeah."

"…how come he doesn't know?"

The brunette took a deep breath and shook her head," It's a lot more complicated then you'd think. I came to Magnolia because I was trying to find my father, I joined the guild so that I could be here when he returned from his jobs. And every time I saw him for the first few years, I tried to tell him the truth, but things just kept getting in the way. And now… what would he think if he knows the truth? That he somehow father a weakling like me who's failed the S-Class trials more than anyone else- "She was cut off when a pillow hit her in the face.

As everyone tried to blink back the shock Natsu snapped.

"Bullshit!" He snapped, eyes flashing," You're already S-Class- everyone knows it. It doesn't matter if you have the title as long as you have the strength! I'd give anything to have Igneel back and you've had your dad right in front of you all this time and haven't done anything. For all that you say that you're getting better- you're still punishing yourself."

"Don't go off on her like that Flame Brain- "

"She needs to hear this!" The dragon slayer growled," You're strong Cana and if Gildarts can't see that then he isn't the man I thought he was. And if you think for a second that we wouldn't be by your side no matter what you've got another thing coming!"

"Crass as he may be, Natsu is right." Erza said in that regal calm of hers," If you don't feel like you can tell him alone, then we will stand with you. Because if nothing else, he deserves to know that he has a child and you deserve to finally have your father's acknowledgement. It may have been a dream- but I don't doubt for a second that the real Gildarts will love you just as much as that one did."

"And if he's too blind to see how awesome you are, we'll beat him up until you feel better!" Lucy said firmly.

"Aye sir!"

"And you know that you could walk into hell and I would still be by your side." Gray said with a grin," And now I can brag that my sister's got a really freaking awesome family tree- if nothing else this all explains why you are the bad ass that you are."

Cana stared at them and slowly the tears finally began to drip down her face," How did I get so lucky to have friends as good as you?"

"Luck's got nothing to do with it- all you had to do was be your awesome self. You've always taken care of everyone else, now it's time that we return the favor."

oOOOOo

True to his word Gray dragged Cana into a therapist's office bright and early the next morning, standing guard outside to make sure she didn't try to run. And every Friday since he had personally manhandled her back to the office.

Lucy grinned when she saw the two of them walk in still bickering as they took seats at one of the tables and stifled a laugh when she saw the look on the brunette's face when Mira put a glass of apple juice in front of her.

Erza had personally made sure that the guildhall now had a limit on what they could sell the card mage and had terrified the bartenders of every pub in Magnolia to also comply with this.

Suffice to say, Cana wasn't taking it very well.

"What's a girl got to do to get some booze around here!" The girl groaned, before perking up.

Gray didn't even have to look at her. "No."

She scowled," You don't even know what I was thinking!"

"You were planning to go flash one of the other drunken idiots for their beer- and no, you are not allowed to do that."

"You're not the boss of me! They're my tits and if I want to show them- "

"Pickle."

The brunette froze for a moment and then glared sourly at the smug ice mage," That's low."

"If it works, it works."

Cana was not about to be outdone," HEY JUVIA!" She yelled," WHAT WOULD YOU GIVE ME FOR GRAY'S NUDES?"

The rain woman materialized by the brunette's side, an entire barrel in her arms and stars in her eyes," Is this enough?!" She asked excitedly.

"JUVIA!" Multiple people yelled in irritation as the brunette happily took the barrel.

"I'll drop them off by your room tonight." The card mage promised, before taking a deep drink," Oh how I've missed you my darling!"

The ice wizard glared at his best friend," That's low."

She smirked," If it works, it works."

Before the conversation could be continued, or anyone could take the beer away, the doors crashed open.

"BIG NEWS!"

Lucy blinked in confusion when the bells of Kardia Cathedral started to ring in a way she'd never heard before and the entire guildhall went berserk.

"GILDARTS IS BACK!"

The celestial wizard easily recognized the name and jerked her head to look at the unreadable expression on Cana's face.

It seemed like today was the day.

The blonde stood up and began to head over to the duo when a loud voice called out over the city.

"Prepare for the Magnolia Gildarts Shift! All Citizens Please Report to Your Designated Areas!"

"What's a Magnolia Gildarts Shift?" Lucy asked in confusion.

"Go outside and you'll see." Erza said with a small grin, sending concerned glances of her own towards the brunette.

The blonde decided to sate her curiosity and felt her eyes almost pop out of her skull when the city split in half.

"A precautionary measure for Gildarts' crash magic." The redhead explained," Since he destroys everything he touches, its better for everyone if he stays away from the citizens homes and businesses."

"All this because he's clumsy?!" Carla asked incredulously as she stared at the pathway.

Gildarts was just like he'd been in the dream, only the first real impression Lucy received of the Strongest Wizard in Fairy Tail was that he was really, really unobservant. Not even realizing that he'd walked into the Fairy Tail guildhall.

"Gildarts!" Natsu yelled with a fanged grin.

The redheaded man turned around and smiled," Natsu! Now there's someone who hasn't changed!"

The dragon slayer leapt towards the Ace," Let's fight- "

"Not now kid." The crash mage said, batting the pinkette away like he was nothing.

"Welcome back Gildarts." Makarov said from his perch on the bar.

"Master!" The taller man greeted with a grin.

"So how did the job go?"

Gildarts let out a laugh, before giving a sheepish grin," No good, way too much for me."

The shock was palpable.

"No way- "

"He failed? But- that's Gildarts!"

Even Lucy couldn't believe it, the strongest wizard in the guild couldn't pull of the Century Quest- how bad were those things?!

"I know that look- don't you dare." The armored wizard said in warning." There's no way- "

"I was thinking about anything at all! I swear!" The blonde yelped," My mind is totally blank! "

"I see the job was too tough, that's a real shame." The guildmaster said sympathetically.

"Sorry for bringing shame to the guild." He apologized.

"Don't apologize- you brought yourself back and that's a feat all in itself. As far as I know this makes you the only one to ever return home alive."

Gildarts grinned," Thanks boss. Now I've got to get home and try to actually feel alive- rest my weary bones. Oh Natsu!" He called over his shoulder getting the pyro's attention," Stop by later, I brought something back for ya." Without waiting for an answer, he proceeded to walk over to the wall and without warning it burst apart into a shower of rubble," I'm out of here guys- see you later!"

"You could use the front door ya know!" Warren yelled indignantly.

Natsu laughed," Wonder what the old man has in store for me- I'm fired up just thinking about it!" And with that, he blew his one hole in the wall.

"One wall breaker is enough!" Max yelled indignantly.

The pinkette turned back to the hall," Come on guys- its time for the big moment."

While the rest of the hall was puzzled at his remark, Cana tried to make a break for it… only to quickly be captured by the combined strengths of Gray and Erza, still she put up her best effort.

"Let me go- "

"Its time Cana." Erza said firmly as she manhandled the brunette through the hole," You can't keep it secret forever- "

"WATCH ME!"

Gray snorted and lightly smacked his foster sister," If you don't do it- we will." He said seriously as they started the walk to the crash mage's house, leaving the confused guild behind," You have been torturing yourself over this for years- one way or another it ends today. Just accept it."

The card mage stopped fighting," …What if- "

"No what-if's!" Lucy snapped," This is going to happen and if he reacts in any way other than positive then we'll sic Erza on him!"

The redhead raised a brow," While I don't disagree with the sentiment and will gladly do it- I do not like being referred to as a though I am a dog."

"…sorry."

"It's alright."

Natsu ended the conversation with one statement," Gildarts is a good guy, and if he doesn't accept you then he doesn't deserve our respect- I mean we'll beat him up for you too Cana- but we can still give him the silent treatment! Now shut up and just go with it already!"

Cana stared wide eyed at her friends and sniffed," I hate you all."

"We love you too, Cana."

Whether she was ready or not- today was the day.

oOOOOo

Seemed like somebody had been nice enough to clean the place up while he'd been gone.

He'd expected to come home to find dust caking every surface and his firewood store needing to be replenished. Instead he'd found an only slightly dusty house and a neat pile of firewood by the hearth.

And whoever it was had also left him a nice bottle of whiskey to top everything off!

He'd have to find out whoever it was and thank them.

Gildarts had been beginning to wonder when that little hot head would finally show up when the door burst open, admitting an unusually serious Natsu, his little companion on his head.

"I was beginning to wonder Natsu." The older man said with a laugh," So- "

"No." The pinkette cut him off, making him blink.

"What?"

Instead of explaining the dragon slayer just said," Cana needs to talk to you."

The Ace shook it off," That's nice- I'll track her down later. Anyway- "But he was interrupted again.

"Cana needs to talk to you now." Natsu said firmly," And trust me- you want to hear what she has to say."

"And I'll talk to her later- don't you want to hear- "

"I can wait." As the crash mage stared at the boy he considered his son, the pink haired boy just looked at him with a serious face," I want to hear whatever you want to tell me, but Cana has been waiting to talk to you for twelve years- I can wait a few more days."

"Natsu what- "

"She's outside, I'll send her in." And without waiting for a response, the pyromaniac turned on his heel and exited out the door, the card mage being shoved through the opening by four pairs of hands (and one set of paws) a second later.

Totally confused, Gildarts surveyed the girl in front of him.

He'd known Cana since she was a little bitty thing, not well, but he'd seen her grow from a little girl to the beauty she was today. And apparently, she'd been wanting to tell him something for twelve years… he was going to hear her out at least.

"So, what's up?" He asked curiously, watching as the girl shifted uncomfortably under his gaze and refused to meet his eyes.

"Did… did you know that the reason I joined the guild was so that I could find my father?" She asked quietly.

The Ace blinked in open surprise," Actually that's the first I've heard of it." He said honestly," Wait- you joined to find him? You saying your old man is in Fairy Tail too?"

Why was she telling him this? Yeah, he'd been in the guild for a long time, but wouldn't Master be a better person to ask about this…?

"Y-yes." Cana stuttered, before swallowing down her fear and finally saying the words that had been stuck in her throat for so long," His name is Gildarts."

One. Two. Three…

"WHAAAAAAA- !?" He screamed at the top of his lungs, falling out of his chair in shock. "Wait- so you're saying that I'm-?!"

The brunette couldn't bring herself to speak past the lump in her throat and just nodded.

"WHICH ONES YOUR MOTHER! Sarah, Naomi, Emma, Clara, Fina, Sydney, Liza-?! Oh wait no- the hair colors all wrong!" He continued to babble as the shock prevented his brain from thinking about anything other than the fact that he had a daughter who was right in front of him. "Mary, Jenny, Kate, the Yuugo sisters-? "

"SISTERS?! JUST HOW MANY WOMEN HAVE YOU BEEN WITH?!" Cana shrieked at the top of her lungs.

"No- Sylvia! That's gotta be it!" He yelled hysteria coloring his words," It's that face- she made it a lot!"

"SERIOUSLY?! I finally tell the truth only to find out my old man is a deadbeat who can't keep it in his pants?!" The brunette yelled, eyes filling with furious tears," Whatever- I was just letting you know. See ya!"

"Whoa- wait!" She couldn't go!

"I don't have anything else to say to you!" She snapped," Don't worry- its not like I'll be moving in. I would hate to ruin your game!" She growled, and suddenly he knew.

"Just carry on like I'm not arou- "

He wrapped his arms around him and pulled her to him," You're Cornelia's daughter. No doubt about it."

"Please let go." Cana said quietly, not even sure if that's what she wanted.

(…he was so warm…)

"Why did you wait so long to tell me?" Twelve years… his daughter had been right in front of him for twelve years of her life. A life he'd never been part of.

"… I tried to tell you, but things just kept getting in the way. Eventually… I guess I was just too afraid to tell you."

"Your mother Cornelia is the only woman I've ever truly loved, marrying her was the happiest day of my life. She left me eighteen years ago because all I did was work. It killed me." Cana was eighteen years old. That last fight, the breaking point… she'd had their baby in her belly and hadn't said a thing. "When I found out she was gone, it was like a part of me died too… but I never knew she had a baby…. I'm so sorry."

Why hadn't she told him? He'd been a horrible husband- but he would've stepped up! He would've cleaned up his act!

Cana took a deep breath and then gently pulled herself out of his hold," Don't worry, I'm the one who kept it hidden all this time, remember? I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. Its just nice to have this weight finally lifted off of my chest." It was like… like she was breathing for the first time in her life.

"I've had a daughter all this time and she was right in front of me…"

All that wasted time. All of the missed opportunities.

He had missed seeing her be born, seeing her take her first steps, hearing her say her first words… how could he make up for all the lost time?

"Hey- there's no need for water works Gildarts!" She said gently," You don't have to worry- I don't expect anything from you!" She said, completely misunderstanding why he was so upset," Nothing has to change. But… if you don't mind, I'll say it just this once: I'm glad I met you Dad. I really am."

And all Gildarts could do was stare at this beautiful child he'd watched grow up. Flashes of seeing that beautiful smile on her face when she was six and eight and twelve- he'd missed more than enough time.

"Baby!" He yelled as he once again pulled her to him, the tears flowing freely as he clutched his little girl to his chest." I promise I'll never make you feel sad again. I'll always be right by your side, whether its on a job or hitting up the bars."

"Can't promise that last." She said with a small smile as her own tears spilled over," Erza got me cut off."

He just pulled her closer," Cana- all that I ask is that you give me the opportunity to be a loving father."

"That's all I've ever wanted you to be Dad."

With smiles on their lips and tears running down their faces, the father and daughter made the first step towards becoming the family they were always meant to be.

And Team Natsu totally weren't crying!

Really, they weren't!

They had just crowded around the window to make sure that Cana was okay- they most certainly did not bawl like little toddlers at the touching scene. Don't listen to whatever Lucy says- she's lying!

Still though, they were all so happy that Cana finally got the love she'd been missing out on all this time. It didn't matter how much pain they had gone through- they'd go through it all over again if it meant they put a smile like that on their friend's face. Because Cana deserved more than the false happiness the dreamworld could offer her.

AN: And they all lived happily ever after!

What? You know I had to say it.

There is a lot to unpack with this one, I think I'll start by saying that some of the memories from the black forest weren't true memories. Think of them more like memories of nightmares, the memories that we ourselves aren't sure if they are actual memories or if they are just something our minds created. And in initial drafts those memories were way worse than the final product. I pulled the thorns from the Disney Sleeping Beauty- I tried to keep as much traditional fairy tale references as I could, the dark forest was Little Red Riding Hood, the candy village (that was supposed to reference Hansel and Grettle but it didn't translate well), and the balls of light in the maintenance tunnel were supposed to be old world faeries- the trickster kind that even when they help you, they still cause trouble.

Her mind isn't as dark as it may have seemed, there's just a lot that Team Natsu didn't get to see. In my drafts I thought about sending them through a version if the guildhall in her head, them seeing just how important the guild is to her and smiling at all the happy memories she had in the guild, but the scene was scrapped for various reasons. The pile of scrapped scenes easily doubles the length of this chapter.

The Miach thing actually goes back to my original reference for Tuan's disease: Harmony by Project Itoh. A brilliant science fiction writer and I just found out that it had an anime movie adaptation, with the main character Tuan being voiced by Jamie Marchi in the english dub. Jamie Marchi is Cana's english voice actor, so I felt like the references were warranted. If you ever read the book or watch the movie a lot of things will make a lot of sense. Essentially 'harmony' becomes a euphamism both for living without being truly conscious and for suicide. I just liked the mystery it added to this, because Miach isn't a good person, but at the same time she wasn't truly bad. Her living in the dark forest, but leading them to safety was something I found very fitting for her character. And the scene where they look up and the clearing is in the shape of the Fairy Tail emblem was without a doubt my favorite part!

What do you think? It was chapter seventy five so I had to do something special! When I started this fic, I figured that it would be six chapters maybe seven or eight, I never thought that I was capable of making it this far. Thank you everyone who's supported me, I couldn't have made it this far without you.