Hello!

Thank you so much for everyone who put my stories into the Irondad Creator Awards! I can't thank you enough for it! Voting is now open and will remain open until April 21st and you can do that here: post/643177573756633088/irondad-creators-awards-about Good luck to all nominations!

This prompt is from Ikari_Furokawa on Ao3 - I dont know how itll start it but basically, Peter gets babysat by that Merc with a Mouth, Deadpool! Whether you make Peter a kid or a teen, can he please be babysat by Deadpool until the avengers or even Tony remember to get him?

I've never written Deadpool before so I hope I did his character justice. He's not a character I had considered writing for but it was great challenge. I hope you enjoy and I apologize for any mistakes!

Merc With A Mouth

Peter's walking home from school, music pumping in his ears when the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. A chill run down his spine, a warning rushing through his body. Somebody is watching him. He tried to keep his posture casual and his pace even like Natasha had taught him. He adjusts his backpack and turns the music off, leaving his headphones in place.

The sound of the afternoon traffic rushed around him. He picks up stray conversations as people pass him. There's someone running late for an appointment, two men discussing basketball stats, a woman who smells strongly of BO and has mattered hair muttering to herself. There is nothing to indicate who is following him. He glances around, making a show of stretching his neck. He sees nothing.

The warning down his spine continues to prickle. Taking a deep breath, Peter stops and whirls around to confront who is watching him.

He stares.

A few paces away, posed in a ridiculous tip-toing motion that you only see in cartoons, was Wade Wilson a.k.a Deadpool. Dressed head to toe in his red and black, the mercenary blinked at Peter.

Neither of them moved, Peter surprise quickly morphing into one of confusion.

Finally, Wade straightened and lifted a hand to rub at the back of his neck. "Well, this is awkward."

"What are you doing?" Peter frowned.

"I'm walking you home," Wade said. "I thought we were doing great! Excellent pace, jamming out to some music. Beautiful day for it, though I wouldn't mind stopping for a snack." He patted his belly. "I missed lunch. Hunting down a stalker who has very naughty ideas took way longer than I thought."

Peter opened his mouth but Deadpool waggled a finger at him.

"Nuh uh, don't even think of asking. It's not suitable for your young ears," Deadpool tsked.

Peter continued to stare at the mercenary, still not quite believing whose he's looking at. Peter knew of Deadpool, of course. He had heard enough rumours and had even met the man once at Spider-Man during a robbery. Of course, once Tony found out he had strictly forbidden Peter from ever speaking to the man again. ("He's trouble, Pete. I mean it. You keep away from him." "He seemed nice, though. He said he liked my suit." "No.")

"Why are you following me home?" Peter titled his head to one side.

"Not following, walking you home. Biiiiiggggg difference," Wade corrected. "One that won't land me in jail." He clapped his hands together, rubbing his palms together. "Shall we continue?"

"No," Peter blinked. "You haven't told me why your "walking me home"."

Deadpool dropped his head back and made an exaggerated noise of annoyance. "Ugh! Teenagers and your incessant questions."

Peter shifted. "Sorry."

Wade lifted his head to face Peter again. "I was paid to walk you home safely and make sure you stayed there for the foreseeable future."

"Oh my god," Peter's face dropped. "Did my Aunt pay you to do this? I said I was sorry! I missed curfew a few times, but it was important! I promised I would stay home tonight."

Deadpool perked up at this and Peter could feel the glee coming off him in waves.

"It wasn't your Aunt, but now I'm keen to meet her," Deadpool skipped over to Peter and threw an arm around his shoulder, spinning him around and propelled them to start working again. "I feel we are going to have a great time together."

"If it wasn't my Aunt," Peter frowned. "Then who paid you?"

"Daddy Billionaire," Deadpool said. "But not the bat kind who wears way too much black in my opinion."

"Mr. Stark paid you to walk me home," Peter spluttered. "What? Why would he do that? He said I was never allowed to speak to you. Even if I was dying in a ditch."

"Well, that's just hurtful," Deadpool pouted. "To be fair, he was very reluctant about it."

Peter's mind spun. Something big must be happening if Tony had hired a mercenary to watch Peter. Something cold swept through Peter, the bottom of his stomach falling.

"Is Mr. Stark in trouble?" Peter gasped.

"Hang on," Wade rummaged at his waist. He pulled out a scrap of paper, unfolded and passed it over to Peter. "Here you go."

"Peter," Peter read aloud. "I can't believe I'm actually writing this but Deadpool is going to keep you company this afternoon. Yes, I'm fine. No, you are not needed. Yes, I know, you can take care of yourself. Stay in with Aunt Hottie tonight. Deadpool is just there to keep you company. I promise I'm fine, Padawan. Tony."

Padawan. It was a code they used in case a situation went sideways. Padawan meant that everything really was okay, and they weren't under duress. Had Tony called Peter his Sith Apprentice then that meant everything had gone to shit.

"Really, that's all he said?" Wade frowned. "He didn't even put in the cool activities I had planned for us! And was that a Star Wars reference?"

Peter folded back up the note. Although he felt a little better, he was still worried. Why would Tony hire Deadpool to keep him and May company.

Wade continued to propel Peter forward as he mulled over Mr. Starks words. He supposed he should take the opportunity to enjoy Wade's company as he didn't know when he would be able to again. Ned would faint when he heard that Peter was spending the afternoon with the mercenary.

"What kind of activities did you have planned?" Peter asked.

"Ooooh warming up to me, are you?" Wade said gleefully. "You'll see, Peter Parker. I'm about to be the best babysitter you've ever had."

Tony was about to jump across the table and punch the government official until his head snapped off when they called it a day. Tony stayed in his seat as everyone filed out, not trusting himself to not attack the official.

"Easy Tony," Rhodey placed a hand on Tony's arm, giving it a squeeze.

"They have no right," Tony growled. "Ross is gone, the accords are fixed. Why are they hounding Spider-Man?"

"Breathe," Rhodey coached. "He's okay. They're leaving him alone."

"For now," Tony glared at the table. "I don't want another situation on our hands. I promised I would keep him safe. I don't trust them, Rhodey."

"Neither do we," Steve said, coming up to Tony's other side. "We agree with you, Tony. We can't let them go after Spider-Man. What do you want us to do?"

Tony looked up to see Steve, Natasha, Clint, Sam and Bucky standing around him. A few months ago, and the very sight would have sent him into a panic attack but now, seeing the determination on their face, their openness, he felt a little twinge of what they old days had been like.

And it was all because of Peter.

"Let's go back to the compound?" Rhodey suggested as Tony said nothing.

"Yeah," Tony finally agreed. "The sooner we are out of here, the better."

"Are you going to tell him?" Steve asked as they left the room.

Tony sighed. "I will. Once we have a plan. I've got someone watching him," Tony trailed off, eyes going wide. "I forgot I asked Deadpool to watch him. Awe, shit, I have to go."

Steve nodded. "We'll start planning. Bring Spidey to the compound and we will tell him all together."

"Thanks," Tony said.

Steve nodded, face serious. "We have your back, Tony. I promise."

Tony nodded, jaw clenched and quickly strode away. He couldn't believe he forgotten he has Deadpool to watch Peter. What the hell had he been thinking?

"WHAT?!" Deadpool yelped.

"Ooooo tough luck," May gave a sympathetic coo. "Since I own Park Lane, with two houses, that will be $500." She stuck out her hand with a grin.

"You Parker's are devious," Deadpool hissed, picking up his small stack of monopoly money and handed over. "You're plotting together. We could have played Pictionary but nooooooo! You know, I draw a great Wolverine."

"We don't have Pictionary," Peter said, picking up the dice. "It was this or Disney Trivia."

"Disney Trivia! Always Disney Trivia," Wade exclaimed. He pointed at May. "You've been raising him wrong."

"Have not," May retorted. "It's not my fault you suck at Monopoly."

"Oh, it's on," Wade narrowed his eyes. "I was going easy on you. But not anymore. Game on."

May smirked across the board. "Bring it."

Peter perked up as he heard footsteps and the familiar hum of Tony's arc reactor. "Mr. Stark's back!"

The game was abandoned, and Peter crossed the room, opening the door before Tony even had a chance to knock.

"Hey kid," Tony said and grunted when Peter wrapped his arms around him in a hug. "Miss me?"

"Mr. Stark! Where have you been? Are you okay? Why did you ask Mr. Deadpool to watch me and May? Are you in trouble? Am I in trouble?"

"Whoa! Slow down on all the questions," Tony chuckled. He stepped into the apartment, closing the door behind him. "And I told you in the note that I was fine." He glared at Deadpool. "Did you not give it to me."

Wade lifted a hand to his mouth as he gave a loud gasp. "The letter!"

"He gave it to me," Peter said before Tony could retort. "I was still worried."

Tony drew Peter in close and kissed the top of his head. "You worry too much, Kiddo."

"He can't help it," May smiled. She climbed to her feet, dusting off her pants. "Did you want something to eat? We have leftovers I can heat up for you."

"I'm good, but thanks." Tony said as Peter eyes widened, and he ever so slightly shifted his head back and forth.

"Don't think this game isn't over, Parker's," Deadpool jumped to his feet. "There will be a rematch."

"Any time," May smirked.

"Stark," Deadpool nodded at Tony.

"Wilson," Tony nodded back. "Thanks."

"Wait! I didn't have my recorder going," Deadpool said, whipping out a recorder seemingly from nowhere. He fiddled with it before giving a triumphant ha and shoved it at Tony. "Okay, say it again."

"No," Tony said, dead-panned.

"Damn it," Wade hissed.

"Goodbye, Wade," Tony said pointedly.

"Fine," Deadpool huffed. "See you later, Peter! Don't forget, we're trading Pokémon cards next week."

"You got it," Peter grinned.

"Wait, what?" Tony whipped his head between the two, but Wade had already slipped out the door. Tony whipped his head back to Peter. "You're meeting up with him?"

"Mr. Stark! Wade has an original Evee card!" Peter exclaimed.

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose. "What have I done?"

"Relax," May soothed, smirking at Tony. "He's harmless."

Tony stared at May. "He's really not."

"No, he is," Peter grinned. "May put the fear of an Italian woman in him."

May smirked at Tony. "You remember what's that like, don't you Tony."

Tony did remember what the was like. He thought his ears would ring forever after the lecture May had given him when she found out about Peter being Spider-Man. Tony cleared his throat. "Yes, I do May."

"Good," May smiled.

"Nice save," Peter whispered as May turned her back.

"I'm hoping she remembers this when I tell her about the meeting we had today," Tony said.

"Huh?" Peter frowned. "What meeting?"

Tony sighed. "Come on kid. Grab your phone. You and May are coming for a ride."

Happy reading :)