Crazy trouble with love part 9
Pillar Women and Joseph
Series: Jojo's Bizarre Adventure
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In ancient Mesoamerican ruins, three statue figures were shaking, ready to be free. Watching this happen was...nazis. No we're not kidding, literal nazis. Ones who had the bright idea of thinking they could excavate these figures with ease, even though the very first experience with something like this failed. BADLY.
"Yes! They are alive!" shouted a nazi general, walking each step closer to the figures.
"Wait sir! shouldn't we keep our distance away from them? You know what happened before."
"Eh? Are you ordering me around now!?" he frowned. "I want all of them detained and ready to be transported out of here once they have begun freely moving!"
"B-But sir-"
"Still ordering me?! I will….wait, where is this music coming fro-aahh.." said the general before one of the figures hands went right through his head.
The others went wide eyed as the figure in the middle had opened their eyes, prying itself from the wall as they saw their leader slowly begin to shrivel up. Like all the fluids inside him were being drained. And as they were frozen in fear, the figure threw their leader's body and it fell to the ground like an empty husk, and as the figure started to walk toward them, the two others awoke as well.
"Rise, my mistresses." the figure put a finger against both their temples, feeding into them the fluids they just sucked up, making it easy on them as they began to break away from the wall as the nazis all shook in more fear.
All the while as this was going on, two men were hiding and observing what's going on.
"Sweet mother of god!" shouted Joseph, a troll and the current heir of the Joestar family. "Ceaser! did you see that!?"
"Shh! don't let them notice us." said Caesar, someone who weirdly looks like the guy who killed Joseph's grandpa.
"But she slurped him up like a soda pop!"
"Who cares? Just shut up!"
"But..."
"Shut up!" shouted Ceaser, making a loud noise before putting his hands on his mouth.
The strange women who freed themselves slowly stretched out their limbs.
"Hmm~ It's so good to be finally free." said one of them who freed the other two. She has short, standing light hair with prominent eyebrows. She had tattoos on her face; crossing just under the bridge of her nose; upwards through the middle of each eye. Around her head was a metallic head adornment like a crown with an opening at the front. She had on a blue loincloth draped around her front with what looked like a matching top that wrapped around from the sides and shoulders to cover her chest with a small ring on the left side of her lip.
"Isn't that right mistress Esidisi?"
"Sure is Wamuu." said the second one This one was also a woman, a tall, dark skinned, and very well-built one mind you with white hair, protruding in a bouffant tuft from under a tall headpiece. A dark painted or tattooed X mark spans her face, joined at the bridge of her nose, touching the middle of her forehead and jaw. She had a nose ring in her right nostril, and great, thick hoop earrings. She wore a leather top that stretched against her breasts with her own loincloth covering her groin with a golden rope acting as a belt. she looked at the third one, who was staring in silence, "What is it Kars?"
"It's not time to celebrate yet, we still have to achieve our goal first" said Kars. The final one also being a woman who was tall, well built, elegant, with very feminine facial features, and a much lighter complexion than the other Pillar Women. She had a tight head wrap on, covering up her hair. She was also minimally dressed, wearing high boots, forearm guards, a thong, and a flowing loincloth. "Also..." she said before walking to the direction of Joseph and Caesar.
"JoJo! She is heading toward us." whispered Ceaser.
"I see...I didn't want to do this but..."
"But what? Whatever will save us will do."
"Fine, give me your hand." said Joseph as Caesar was weirded out, but followed the orders anyway, "...Now is time for the Joestar family secret technique."
'What is he going to do?' wondered Ceaser before suddenly he started to feel the wind.
"Ruuun!" Joseph said, running with Caesar.
The three woman saw the two men run for it, making Esidisi turn to Kars.
"What are a pair of tiny humans doing? Do they really believe they can out run us?"
"Hmph, insignificant cowards, it would be an insult for us to touch them."
"So we leave them like this? What if they tell other humans about us?"
"We will deal with those when time comes, for now we wait until night comes."
(With the two men)
"Are they...chasing us?" asked Caesar while catching his breath.
"Doesn't seem so...I knew my family technique always works."
'Can't believe it actually did.' thought Caesar with Joseph smirking. "Don't get too cocky, they're still free and this means they're a danger to the entire world. We need to stop them before we lose track of them or else."
"Don't get your knickers in a notch Caesar, we'll show them what a pair of handsome devils like us can do. Well, one handsome devil and his sidekick."
"Good, you know how our relationship works, now sidekick, let's go to tell the other hamon masters about this." said Caesar patting Joseph's shoulder.
Joseph blinked as Caesar walked ahead before he frowned and followed. "Hey! You've got it mixed around!"
(Later with Lisa Lisa)
"So let me get this straight, you had three of those Pillar Men-"
"Pillar Women actually."
"Whatever, they saw you and were in front of you and yet the two of you managed to escape?"
"Well with my ace in my hole, it was no trouble." boasted Joseph.
"They probably were so disgusted by us running away they didn't think we are worth their time."
"This is bad. Now that they're free, they'll stop at nothing to hunt down and reclaim the Red Stone of Aja."
"Well it's with us, so as long as we hide it well and find them first it will be alright." said Joseph.
"We also need to be up to par with our ripple skills if we want any chance to stop them." remarked Caesar.
"Yes, for that I prepared training for you, follow me." she said walking towards a door where the two of them could see nothing beside a pillar in the middle.
"Master, what's this for-!" he said she pushed both of them in it, with them falling in a pit.
"This is your training, raise up on the top of the pillar." she said before leaving the both of them
"...You had to speak Cease right? You had to remind her of this didn't you?"
"..Shut up."
(All the while with the Pillar Women)
The three women walked down the street, shockingly NOT getting weird looks from the normal citizens. But, coming from a world where mafia members and vampires wear clothes more flamboyant than rock stars, can anyone blame them?
"Humanity really developed when it comes to fashion." said Kars, looking at the clothes average people were walking with. "It's much more covering than what they wore in the past."
"Anyway, mistresses, where should we be looking for the Red Stone of Aja?"
"We will search the world, take every chance we can to get closer to it, it won't be an easy journey and we may suffer serious losses but if we keep believing in our path and not give up we shall fin-"
"Daaamn it! Why do I have to go buy food tonight? If not for that stupid Aja or whatever stone I would have been in an amazing hotel instead of serving that sadist lady!" shouted Joseph, walking right past the three women.
"...Or we can get it right now."
"We shall capture that human and make him tell us." said Kars, feeling a bit too sour for her speech to be cut off because of him. And just as she got to touch his jacket, she felt a sudden shock of hamon run through her body. She reeled her hand back, with Joseph noting the tug and turned, going wide eyed when he saw them.
"It's you!" said both of them.
"Damn coward, how do you know about the Stone of Aja?!"
"Stone? What stone? I don't know this stone."
"Then how did we hear you say that name!?"
"You know, being stuck in a stone prison can make you hear stuff and all, on the other hand now..." he smirked as he put his hand on a restaurant window "Now you are going to say: Think you can deceive us?"
"Think you can deceive us-!" 'N-nani?!' they all thought before Joseph charged the restaurant window with hamon and made it explode on the three women. The glass shards shot out at them, making them easily block their heads with their arms as Joseph took off running again.
'Heh, the Joestar family technique never fails!' he thought as they got over the glass and saw him running.
"Hurry!" said Kars running as the two others followed her. "You won't get away with running like a coward!"
"That's what everyone I killed said!" 'Well not really, but it might just scare them a lil bit.' he thought while still running and the more the less building and people there were, until no one was around but the four of them, all the while the sun started rising and Joseph entered a building in the middle of nowhere, and the three of them followed him in. Said building was deserted and looked abandoned, with nothing in between them.
"You fool. You merely spent all your energy running from us, and to where? Some place where you have no way of fighting or hiding." spoke Wamuu with her chin raised up.
However no reply came from Joseph, the only sound that came was a giant stone falling and blocking their entrance.
"Show yourself!" shouted Kars but again no reply, and with the sun lighting the building up they were capable of seeing but had to watch over their steps.
"Where could he have gotten to?" Said Esidisi before they heard the sound of his footsteps, 'Follow it!" she said as three of them did before finally finding an exit where Joseph was right there standing, right in front of them with strange looking things on ground between them and him.
"Now you are going to say: What are you up to little man?"
"What are you up to little man-N-nani?!" said Kars, "How can you do that!?"
"Nevermind this, this is about time where you should give up." he smirked with his hand against his cheek, his arm crossed against his chest, and giving them a smug grin. "You've fallen right into my clever trap."
"What trap?"
"Well you see ladies, this things between you and me are called land mines, one touch of them and you say goodbye to your legs, add the sun and you specifically to the formula and..." he took a rock from the ground, charged it with hamon and made it explode, "Hope you enjoy my special treat~"
All three glared at the man who shot them two thumbs up.
"Look on the bright side, now you can get nice and cosy here. Think of it like your very own vacation home." he said before Esidisi threw a rock at him. He quickly ducked and stuck out his tongue.
"Damn it, mistresses what should we do?"
"We will simply wait, when the sun is set, we will find another way to go out and he will be under our mercy." said Kars full of confidence.
"Well I told the others that if I don't come home early they should come to this building here, so more than four hamon masters are coming ready to annihilate your existence. so..." he said before sitting on the ground, "I suggest you value your last hours~"
"Mistress/Kars!" both girls said at the same time, looking at Kars for any solution. Kars stayed silent for a while, keeping a stoic face until...
"...Fuck." and thus spoke Kars, killing all hope the Pillar Women had.
They slouched their shoulders with Joseph giving a smug smile with his eyes closed.
He stayed like that for a while until he got bored, which was after 5 seconds, "Hey you live for many years, have any interesting stories to tell?"
"So not only you push us to this corner you also ask us to entertain you?"
"Yup."
"Insolent human." scoffed Esidisi crossing her arms. "You will suffer the moment we are free to continue our quest, AFTER we pry the knowledge of the stone from your skull."
"My, sounds like someone's a bit cranky." he teased, "Come on, even you will feel bored and start talking, and who knows? Maybe I will feel bad about you enough to stop the others from taking your life." 'Will not~ but I'm bored so just give them some motivation.'
All three glared at him as he crossed his arms.
"So, why don't we get things started with our names? You can call me the handsome, magnificent, dashing, powerful, strong, and humble Joseph Joestar!"
"Coward will do." remarked Esidiris bluntly. "If it gets you to be quiet, you will call me Esidiris."
"Oh? Hmmm, I think Cranky Lady sounds better if we're giving each other nicknames."
"You little..." said Esidiris as she was almost going to run to him, but was stopped by Kars, "S-Sorry.."
"My name is Kars, and this is Wamuu."
"Got it, pretty lady~" said Joseph winking at her.
Kars was caught off guard with Wamuu glaring at him.
"Do not address my mistress so casually human."
"Got it, you beauty~" he said, making Wamuu blush as well.
"How dare you talk with my comrades this way you coward!" remarked Esidiris.
"...You want me to hit on you as well, am I right Cranky Lady?" he smirked making her eye twitch.
"Of course not. Having a lowly human do that to someone of my standing would be sickening."
"Awww, someone's jealous~" he smirked before she threw a rock at him, again, and he dodged it, again. "So now that we're done with the names, how about we talk about our history?"
"Go on and tell us yours first." spoke up Kars before the other two could say something.
"Anything for you you two beauties and one Cranky Lady." he said before dodging another rock from her. "So I don't know the details of my pops and mom, not that I care, but I was raised by the greatest women in the world, granny Erina."
"Are you referring to the mother of your parents?"
"...No, I'm referring to my feet."
"You call your feet a great woman?" said Kars, making Joseph giggle.
'So they don't get sarcasm...I'm going to enjoy this.' "Just kidding, yes she is my pop's mom."
"But you just said-"
"I was fooling you. That ladies is what's called sarcasm."
"Sar...casm?"
"Pretty much, it's when you say something wrong to tell someone they are right when it's obvious."
"Sounds complicated, can't you just tell the person they are right?"
"No, you can't, it's a holy ritual."
"Really?"
"Yes and my friend Ceaser is dating my mom."
"What does that have to do with...wait, is this a sarcasm just now?"
"Maybe~" he smirked with a wink making Wamuu's eye twitch. "So where was I? Oh yeah, I was raised by granny Erina and uncle Speedwagon sometimes when he is around, not the best at studying but I managed somehow."
"That doesn't explain how you became a hamon user."
"Oh that, I don't remember well but..ehh..we were in a plane, someone pissed me off and then I used hamon, Caesar said I may have gotten it from my family but I don't think granny Erina..."
"You don't think she can use it."
"Yup, but I don't know my popes and mom so maybe they were good with it. Anyway my journey to find uncle Speedwagon got me here and now we are waiting for my masters to come and save humanity from you, so, how about you?"
"We are beings from long ago." started Kars. "We are capable of so much more than what humans can do."
"Eh, well at least we can walk under the sunlight without turning to ashes." Joseph waved his hand. "Although that one guy I had to kill was no walk in the park."
"Well no species is perfect, our race had almost everything beside what you mentioned, strength while standing under the sun, and I tried to find a way to save them from this weakness and survive." admitted Kars with the other girls looking at her in surprise and disbelief. "But ultimately none of them could understand me and my invitation, the stone mask, failed, my hunger became so great my people feared it spreading into more of them and so they tried to kill me, all including...my family." Kars said as she sighed. "But I fought back and took all of their lives, well all beside Esidisi who was at my side and we took two babies with us, we later were going to find the Stone of Aja, but was captured by some hamon users and...well we are now waiting your masters to come as you said."
'...God I was kidding on what I said about feeling too bad for.' "Oh, well, um..that's more interesting than my story."
"That's obvious, human."
"But you know, maybe you can give up on searching for the stone."
"Give up our goal of overcoming our weakness?!"
"Well you see, humanity has evolved so much and overcame a lot that they created something called umbrellas, it's a complicated work, but let's say for the short of it that it can probably protect you from the sun as long as the wind isn't too strong in a sunny day." He explained. "Plus it's quite a fashion statement with pretty Ladies."
"So wait, you are saying we can stop this long journey with this umbrella thing?" questioned Wamuu with suspicion. "I find that highly unlikely human."
"You don't have much choice really beside believing me, either that or you die at my master's hand." he remarked with a nonchalant shrug Before they turned around and started whispering to each other, he would have tried to hear them sure but he admired the chance to see three nice asses.
"Can we trust him? He may be tricking us." said Wamuu.
"I don't really see a reason why he would do so, but we can't lower our guards yet." stated Kars.
"I say we strike as soon as we have a way out."
"But his masters will be here soon, what if they destroy this building and kill us all?"
"Okay, we wait and see what this umbrella thing do"
"Agreed." Said Wamuu as they nodded before turning around to face him, "Okay human, we will consider your offer"
"Great to hear pretty ladies, and cranky lady." He said before she threw a rock at him, and again he dodged it. "And now that that's all done, I'm actually curious about something."
"What now?"
"Well you three are women, since you are the last of your species shouldn't you have at least one guy with you?"
"Ha! You stupid human, this is a part of master Kars complicated thinking and planning, isn't it mistress?" Esidisi said in confidence.
"...Fuck, I never thought about that part!" she let out making the other two girls go slack jawed and wide eyed.
"Wait, you mean you...pffft..." Joseph covered his mouth to try and stifle his oncoming laughter.
"W-w-w-ait mistress, I don't get what you are saying, is this some code?"
"Y-yeah, come on mistress Kars, put yourself in our level a litt-" said Wamuu before Kars put her hands on her shoulders.
"I'm sayingI screwed us all! After this there is no more of our race!" said Kars putting her hands on her head, "It's all over! Everything we worked for is done!"
That made Joseph flinch and feel pity for them on the inside overhearing that. "Hey now ladies, it ain't that bad, you survived this far didn't ya?"
"Yes, so far, but now it's going to end because of you!"
"Hey now, don't put the blame on me. It's not my fault you were this stupid." he said before Kars stared at him for a moment and then began crying. "Hey! Hey! Calm down now, I didn't mean stupid, I mean so determined you forgot some other details, yeah! That's what I meant."
"What kind of a leader am I?! I didn't bother to look at the big picture!"
"Look, ladies, we still can fix this."
"How?"
"Well there are ton of humans today, I'm sure there are a lot of men out there who will want to be with you if you just change your behavior a little."
"Asking us to degrade ourselves by procreating with mere humans?! Does your smugness know no end!"
"Yes." he said avoiding another thrown rock "But seriously, you got no other choice here"
Kars went silent, the other two looking at her with suspense. "...Okay, guess we don't have other choices."
"Ha! You hearing that you hum-wait, what did you say again?"
"He has a point, the intention was to save our species, this is the only way to do so now."
"But...but...But mistress!"
"You want our survival to go in vain?"
"No, but...you sure? With humans?" she asked while glancing at Joseph who gave a wave. "Wouldn't that water down our bloodline?"
"Watered down or not, at the very least there's a chance it can live on, along with our legacy." sighed Kars.
"...Ugh, fine, let's at least choose someone strong, someone who is capable of defeating us."
"Well there is one, not sure you will like it though."
"What do-!" she said before looking at Joseph who smugly smiled at her. "No, this doesn't count! He cheated!"
"Physical strength isn't always important, using cheating to win against enemies stronger than them will be important for our future generation."
"Mistress Kars you can't be serious!" spoke Wamuu with a dramatic change in colors...that no one seemed to notice.
"I don't like admitting defeat myself, but given what we know so far, he IS a possible candidate if we want to ensure our kind live on. So, who among you is going to join me?"
"I will, this entire mission was to save our race, our pride should be put aside if it stands in the way." said Esidisi.
"But I don't want my kids to be like him! Just imagine how his grandchild will be like." Wamuu said, making them imagine a clown while in another universe a man who got his hair fused with a hat sneezed.
"We can teach them to follow our traditions."
"But who knows what sort of trick he might pull. For all we know he might take them away and raise them like...ugh, humans."
"I mean, we can just kill him if he do that."
'They know I can hear all this right?' thought Joseph. 'Should I accept this or no? On one hand, I got three giant babes, on the other, I may get killed...' he was thinking before Kars called him.
"Human! Tell us your name!" she said while posing in an odd way that should break her back.
"Joseph, Joseph Jostar, before you say anything I never planned once in my life to runaway with any kid." he remarked while doing his own pose that made it look like he was ready to break into dance.
"So you know what we were talking about, good, no need to repeat myself, just tell us what your response is."
'Please say no, please say no, please say no.' both Wamuu and Esidisi thought.
"I...I think I have to ask granny Erina for her opinion." he admitted awkwardly. "I don't know if she'd like me to go off and have kids with total strangers, at least not without warning her."
"What good is it to warn this woman? You are your own man are you not?"
"Well yes but I owe her everything, nevermind how hot it is, if she doesn't agree with the idea of me marrying three giant ladies then I can't go against her."
"I am not giant, you are just small." scoffed Esidisi.
"Well almost everyone now is smaller than you, so you are giants here." he said before hearing a car approaching, turning his head he found Ceaser, Lisa, and the other hamon masters. "Well speaking of everyone."
"Damn it!"
"Joseph, you actually got them?!" said Caesar as he jumped out of the car.
"What else did you expect? And careful with your steps." said Jospeh before pointing his finger to the mines.
"How did you get all of that?"
"I...borrowed them.."
Elsewhere, a nazi was getting yelled at by his superior.
"What do you mean you lost those land mines?!"
"I don't know sir, we just turned our backs to them for a moment and then they were gone."
"Damn it! Go apologize to Stroheim now! He really wanted to have land mines in his new body."
"Yes sir!"
Lisa Lisa looked at the three women, noting the height difference and the exposed skin, but kept her guard up. "So you three are the Pillar Women."
"Huh? Who calls us t..." all three turned to Joseph who turned away with an innocent whistle.
"...I'm starting to hope that Erina doesn't approve of this marriage plan."
"Marriage plan?" asked Lisa Lisa. "What marriage plan?"
"Well, I wasn't going to do it without granny Erina's agreement but..."
"We want to ensure our species survival and having his children is one way to do so." explained Kars. "Given our lack of other candidates, he might be useful in continuing our bloodline."
"Key word here is might, if we can swap him we will take anyone else." spoke Esidisi.
"Tell us, what is your name?" questioned Wamuu pointing to Caesar.
"Caesar, Caesar Anthonio Zeppeli, this lady here is Lisa Lisa and those two gentlemen are Loggins and Messina." said Caesar politely. 'Soon, soon I will get my revenge.'
"Perhaps you might also be a good candidate."
"N-Not interested." he said as he felt shivers from the thought.
"Who said you are the one to choose?"
"I-I'm already taken!"
"And by whom?"
"Me." said Lisa as she held his arm, 'My son is going to get three girlfriends, can't let this chance get away.'
"Yes, that's r-NANI!?"
"What, are you denying me now for this woman?" she said, tightening her grip on him.
"N-No! It's not that!" he said while feeling like his arm was going to be torn apart, "I was just shocked you declared that in front of everyone, I swear!"
"That's what I thought." she said as she rested her head on his arm causing him to blush a little, "So as you can see, we are total lovers, no chance for you to have him."
"Damn, how about those two-" she said before Loggins and Messina run away, "You humans really know how to bring disappointment."
"Oof Caesar, even I didn't catch that one." Joseph said before slapping Caesar's back, "You lil son of a bitch!" he said as the last part sounded weird to everyone.
"Don't say that again."
"Roger that." 'Note to self: make sure to say it whenever you find the chance.'
"Joseph, a word in secret." Ordered Lisa Lisa.
"What is it now? You going to bring another plot twist and say you are my mom?" he joked before she forced him to walk with her.
"Listen to me. You're a wise ass, immature, but you do have a good eye. Are they trying to play the sympathy card on you?"
"Maybe? I mean they did make me feel bad for them." he remarked bluntly,
"But you know what they are capable of. They could just as easily end you when they don't need you or find someone better to make children with."
"True..." he said before his eyes lit up, "Please humor me in this."
"What?"
"Eh!? So what is the issue if I love them?!" he said loudly, enough for the Pillar Women and Caesar to hear him.
"What?" Lisa Lisa repeated, but at a lower tone. "Joseph, what are-"
"What?! You say you are going to kill them? No way I will allow that!"
"Is he defending us?" said Kars.
"I think so?" replied Wamuu with confusion.
"I think he is just playing it cool, not like he will get any real damage from this." huffed Esidisi while Joseph heard her.
"Joseph, what ideas are you giving them?" said Lisa before he held her shoulders.
"Yes! I'm ready to die for the women I love!" he said before whispering to her ear. "Pretend to punch me"
"...Okay?" she said before punching his stomach, throwing him away.
He fell on his back and made a convincing groan of pain, holding the spot.
"Wait, he is fighting for real?" said a now impressed Esidisi.
"You think this will stop me?"
"Maybe?" 'Okay, i think I'm starting to understand him.'
"Ha! I'll just keep getting right back up for them." he boasted getting up, and pulling off another weird pose...for reasons.
"Okay." said Lisa before she kicked his leg, "As long as they don't show their love to you, I won't stop this fight!"
"Like I care! Give me your worst!"
"He is going this far for us.." said Kars while Caesar was trying to understand what the two of them were trying to do.
"And yet he just met us."
"And you considered leaving him for someone else." said Caesar as he finally understood what the two were doing.
'Hmmm, this human is quite peculiar, but considerate.' thought Kars. 'Maybe we were harsh on him.' she continued thinking while Joseph kept making melodramatic screaming sounds.
"Give up now! They don't even love you back!"
"Not even going to Hell and back would stop me!" he said before Lisa punched him in the guts.
"This is getting too long, you sure it will work out?"
"I hop-"
"Stop!" shouted Esidisi. That made everyone turn to the woman. "What can we do for you to stop hurting him?"
"I suppose that all depends on whether he'd be more to you than just a baby maker."
"...I think he can make a good clown." said Wamuu.
"He does seem strong, maybe we can challenge him to grow even stronger." suggested Kars.
"I meant him as a person."
"Oh! Then he's annoying." remarked Esidisi bluntly.
Both Lisa and Joseph stared at her with deadpan eyes before Joseph returned to make melodramatic noises.
"Nevermind what they say about me, I will bear the pain for them!"
"Well I hope they say something good soon cause my patience is getting shorter." she said before giving him a feel of her serious punch.
"Well he can be funny, when he knows how to tone it down." said Esidisi.
"I'm hilarious!" He called out before getting punched.
"And he did make this plan to save you humans from us, so both a thinker and a bit of a good person there."
'Great, like he didn't already have a big head.' thought Caesar sarcastically.
'Finally someone acknowledging how great I am.' thought Joseph.
"And I may be into that haughty attitude he has." admitted Wamuu.
'Yahoooo!'
"So you like him? Not just as a baby making machine but a person?"
"I suppose yes." said Kars as she herself was shocked by the idea.
"First time for everything." mumbled Caesar loud enough for Joseph to hear.
"Okay then, I think I should end this fight if this is the case." she said before she threw Joseph away one last time, "But I got to ask how will get out of here? And how will you survive the sun?"
"Well for starters, they get out of here when I use that bottom." he said before getting a remote control, pressing it and all the landmines made a beep sound.
"Okay one, why do you have that? And two how did you know it will work?"
"Well for one I thought it looked cool so I thought of...borrowing it as well, for two it was in front of some man robot drawing and I think it was meant to be inside it, was written that it will stop the mines so that's that."
"...Okay, still doesn't explain how will they get out of her during the day, or will they wait until night?"
"Oh! He thought this human invention called um-breya which will protect us from the sun."
"Um-breya?"
"Umbrella." he clarified.
"That might work, though you have to be careful." said Lisa as she approached them before standing right next to Kars, "So we are in agreement? You get to marry and have your kind continue while we make sure you won't harm humanity?"
"Yes, provided you don't try to betray us." she frowned.
'I should be telling you that.' thought the hamon user.
"We will make sure that never happens, now Caesar and Lisa, bring umbrellas for the brides." said Joseph as he joined the three women.
"I hope you know what you're going to do." said Lisa before leaving with Caesar to bring umbrellas, 'My son got three girlfriends!'
"Of course I do, I'm Joseph Joestar after all." he said while making a dramatic pose that you could swear will break his spine.
"So...how do you humans pass time in this age?"
"I'll show you! After Caesar brings the umbrellas back."
(After said thing happened)
"So this are what you call umbreyas?"
"Umbrellas, and yes." said Joseph as he showed the three of them how to hold it.
They held them up and looked them over with Kars opening hers and holding it over her head.
"And you're sure these will work?"
"Well there is one way to know for sure." he said before pushing her outside the building lightly, getting her right under the sunlight.
Her eyes widened as she went still, but blinked when she noticed the shade from the umbrella covered her and she wasn't stuck in place. "It...it's working!" she cried from joy as the other two followed her steps slowly before noticing that they were fine under the sunlight.
"I can't believe it."
"We are finally free!"
"Told ya" said Joseph as he put his arm on Kars' shoulder, before she hugged him with one hand.
"With you and this invention we will finally revive our race!"
"Darn right, now let me be the first to show you lovely ladies around town."
(Later in Venice)
"Okay so don't take anything before asking me, don't talk with strangers and stay close to me and each other." said Joseph as the three women were looking in awe at the city.
"Why not?" questioned Esidisi. "If we see something we want, why not take it for ourselves?"
"Because that's stealing. You need to use money to get what you want."
"Mo-ney?"
"It's how you get stuff now, you get a job, get some money from it and then you get what you want."
"Can't we just exchange what we have with what we want?"
"Maybe in your days but not now." he shook his head. "Trading isn't as big as it used to be. Not to mention you have to make sure you have just enough money."
"This sounds more complicated than it needs to be." remarked Wamuu.
"Well complicated or not, you don't want to get into fights and lose your umbrellas do you?"
"No...but we don't have money." she said before Joseph revealed his wallet.
"Well I do, just make sure to ask me."
"Very well, but...what is there to really buy in this town?"
"Well you got clothing, jewelry and of course food." he said before seeing that three of them are already in front of a restaurant staring at people eating.
"Can I help misses?" said a man with an interesting fashion choice that no one seemed to notice.
"What sort of food do you have here?"
"Pasta, bigoli in salsa, why?" he said as he slowly started to hide his food while they started to get closer.
"We want it."
"Excuse me?"
"You are excused, but give some of this."
"...Police!" he said before Joseph put his hand on the man's shoulder.
"Excuse my wives behaviour, they are new here."
"Wives?" he looked between Joseph and the women, slowly going wide eyed in disbelief.
"Yes, wives."
"As in...you are married to all of them?"
"Got a problem?"
He opened his mouth, only to see the three women giving him a cold look that gave him goosebumps and made him unable to come up with a retort.
"Good, so ladies, you want some of this bigoli in salsa?" he said as the three of them nodded. "Okay, go get a table and I will tell them your orders."
(1 minute later)
"Wamuu dear, I know you are enjoying yourself and I'm happy for you, but don't you think the twenty one plate in a row is a bit too much?"
"What makes you say that?"
"Well..." he said before looking at all the plates, along with Kars and Esidisi unable to take any more, "It's a hunch."
"I cannot help it. We've never had food this delicious long ago, and with so much to spare I find myself eating and eating."
"That I can understand, but you seem to be the only one here who is feeling this hungry." he said pointing to the two other women.
"Well it's not my fault I need to consume more food than they do." she said before finishing her plate. "Two more please."
"Nope, you already had enough and there other things I want you three to see"
"Agreed." remarked Kars. "Food is one thing, but I would like to see what you do for entertainment in this modern world."
"And the current knowledge they have, right?" said Esidisi.
"Oh yeah, those too."
"Well let me take care of the bill first and then we can go "
(Later)
"And this is what we call a library." Joseph pointed to the building. "It's full of books that have loads of history in them, but it's pretty boring." he shrugged. "Mostly scholars and nerds hang out here all the time." he said before looking at the girls direction to find they weren't there, turning his head he found them entering the library. "God damn it."
(In the library)
"Amazing! Look at all this works!" shouted Esidisi, annoying everyone there.
"It's like an entire world's worth of knowledge is here!" Wamuu cried out annoying one guy trying to check out a book.
"With this our children will learn and conquer!" said Kars with charisma before everyone hissed at her.
"Shhhhh!" everyone hissed.
"What!?"
"Shhhh! This is a library." said an old man.
"Yeah I know."
"He means we have to be quiet." whispered Joseph.
"Why? We aren't killing anyone."
"It's a rule here."
"Do we really have to follow it? I mean it will be hard for us to listen to each other."
"Yes, sorry I don't make the rules, I just break them whenever I feel like it, and where is Esidisi?"
The two women turned and noticed the third one was completely gone.
"She was just here!"
"Shhhh!"
"Shhhh yourself! We gotta find her." said Joseph.
"It shouldn't be too hard to find her in this dwelling of books."
"Amazing!" shouted Esidisi in some place.
"Shhhh!"
"Is this their language or what?"
"Nevermind, let's just head her direction."
Joseph and the two women followed the sounds of books being opened, spotting the woman sitting down and looking through books left and right. "Esi! Don't separate from us like this!" shouted Joseph but she acted as if she didn't hear him.
"Amazing. So many things I've never heard of, so many locations I could have never imagined."
"Eeeh, Esi? Is she okay?"
"I think her mind is in another realm," said Wamuu.
"Huh, maybe we can leave her here? She isn't annoying anyone and there is a lot of books, enough to take her time."
"I don't think that's a good idea."
"Shhhh!" said an old woman.
"Shhhh!" Esidisi said to the old woman.
"Oh my god! She became one of them." said Joseph, the first part in english.
"Welp, she's done for."
"Yeah we really need to get her out of her."
"Or just tell her we can buy a book"
"That's an option?"
"Yes, we just have to go to a bookstore and," he said before taking the book from her hand "Find something like this."
"Hey!" she said as she attacked him but he dodged her, "give it back!"
"You can have it forever if you want, just not from this place."
"Give it!" she said as she jumped to attack him, but he dodged her.
He barreled through the front doors as the other two stood aside with Esidiri going after him without turning.
"Hey! You have to pay for that!" yelled the librarian.
"We will, later!"
(Later)
"Sheesh, why didn't you tell me I can buy this book and have it forever?" said Esidisi, returning the book to the librarian while carrying another version of it.
"We tried, you just didn't try to listen."
"Well you should have made it more clear."
"You tried to rip my arm off! And almost got yourself killed when you almost lost hold of your umbrella"
"We all make mistakes."
"Anyway, to where do we go now?" said Kars.
"Well we visited a restaurant and a library, they were into those but what about you? What do you want to see?"
"Hmm...I guess I want to see the level of evolution humanity reached to know what and how we can surpass them."
"So you want to just walk around town?"
"Yes."
"Then follow me ladies!" he said with a pose, and a style.
"Okay."
(Later)
"So that thing you call a car, how can it be beaten?" said Kars as she was observing a car very closely.
"Beating a car isn't easy. It takes courage, guts, and the fortitude to never waver." he spoke with a dramatic tone while once more, posing in a way that makes NO sense. Someone should really talk to him into going to the doctor.
"We are up to the task! Just shows up the wa-" said Kars before kicking a random car, throwing it away and making it hit a wall, "Huh, that was easy, I guess being the leader I have all those great qualities!"
Joseph blinked slowly before holding his hands against his cheek. "Oh my god!"
"My car! Why did-you!" said the same man from the restaurant.
"To see if it could be beaten, and it can." remarked Kars crossing her arms with a blunt tone.
"Why would anyone want to know that! Do you know how many cars I used to have?! Ten! And now I have only nine because of you!"
"Calm down man, we were just messing around, it's not like you don't have any other car."
"That's not the point!"
"The point this guy is trying to make then is that we should destroy all of his cars, did I get that right?" said Kars proudly.
"No! The point is you need to pay me back and now!"
"Don't worry ladies, I know just what to do in this situation." spoke Joseph with a confidant grin. "This is the time of the Joestar secret technique! Just follow my steps." he said before turning to the other direction and running like there is no tomorrow.
"Wait, that's what he did before!" said Kars as they followed him.
"Hey! Where are you going!"
"Running away!"
"Is this how to solve your problems?"
"Just the hard ones." he replied to them as they ran through the crowds on the street and reached a small town square before stopping. "Phew, that always gets the blood pumping." he said as all of them tried to relax, of course via making weird poses.
"Hey!" cried out the man, running after them even though he was sweating bullets and panting. "Get...back...here!"
"We continue to run!" declared Joseph as the four ran down a parallel road, nearly getting run over by a few people when they ran pass a crosswalk.
(Much later)
"Ooof, I think..we are safe now...I need a moment." said Joseph, covered in sweat trying to catch his breath.
"We feel fine." remarked Kars casually.
"I..don't..." he said before collapsing.
"Wow, you need to work out more."
"I do work out, but I guess I'm not a match to you."
"Good you are realizing your superiors." said Kars as she gave him a hand to get up.
He took it and got picked up to his feet with ease, noticing that the sun was starting to set. "It's beautiful, don't you think?" said Joseph.
"It was better at our time, but this one has a charm to it."
"You might be ok without the umbrellas if it's setting."
"We will wait until it's completely night."
"Suit yourself, so what do you think of the modern world?"
"It's filled with so many wonders and advancements even we could not dream of." said Wamuu.
"It has it's problems, but I think we can manage them," said Esidisi.
"It's astounding just how far it's come." remarked Kars.
"So you three like it?"
"Yes, it make us want to conquer it one day."
"Uh...or just to live simple lives in it?"
"I'm just joking, you don't need to get worked up over it."
"Good to know..." 'This won't be good for my heart.'
"Although we might consider it later on."
"I will take that into account." he said nervously.
Eventually the sun set all the way, making way for night time.
(After 10 years)
"Mooom! i want to go outside!" said a little boy as he was trying to escape Kars' grip.
"You will, only after I'm done holding you." said Kars, who didn't change much beside her choice of clothes.
"But the others are already playing out with dad!"
"That's cause they listen to their moms, now why don't you follow their example and do as I say?"
"Fine." the boy huffed.
"Good, now are you going to take your chores seriously?"
"Yes."
"And you won't stay too long under sunlight."
"Sure."
"And you -"
"You are going to say: Won't play along with your dad pranks."
"Won't play along with your dad's pra-nani!?"
"Ha! Got you!" He said while posing like a certain someone.
"Tsk, you really are his son, fine you can go out Jonathan, just make sure to take what I told you seriously." she said while smiling softly remembering certain memories.
"Ok mom!" said Jonathan running as fast as he could outside.
"He still is the same isn't he?" said Wamuu entering the room along with Esidisi, both didn't age much.
"Yes, I'm actually a bit worried he might end up too much like his father and not become his own person."
"I think he just pretends to be like him, all of our kids do so, I'm sure when they grow they may be able to forge their identity."
"If you say so, still it's better to keep an eye on them." said Kars before Joseph, slightly older, entered the room.
"Speaking about me behind my back huh?"
"No, we were waiting for you to show up before we did it." Teased Wamuu.
"Sweet~" he said before closing the door behind him, and moans started to form soon after.
xxxxxxxxxxxx
END
Author's note: I'm aware the recent chapters going up aren't DC related, but I assure you, I plan on delivering what you desire.