W: Do you ever feel like you're being watched?
D: Always, but when you look this good, you get used to it.
W: there is a sign on the road that says 'Do not let moose lick your car'
W:…how am I supposed to stop them?
D: top energy this and bottom energy that, I just want energy
W: big mood
D: any ideas on what are we gonna do?
W: why are you so worried? you're so short, they probably won't even see you
D: is this really the time to make short jokes?
W: of course. Because life, like you, is short.
D: you just have to trust me on this one
W: remember to chisel that on my gravestone
W: I'm having second thoughts
D: you had first thoughts?
W: Here's the thing though. is it still murder if i give them a heads up?
D: I think that's called a threat
D: I want to change the world.
W: For the better?
W: Answer me.
D: You call it a near-death experience?
D: I call it a vibe check from god
D: Your future self is going to hate you for the decisions you're making
W: Bold of you to assume current me doesn't already hate me for the decisions i'm making
W: I have an idea. it's very uncool, but it's not illegal, technically. but it is a dick move.
D: I love it
W: You're so short. what can you even see down there?
D: Your IQ.
W: are you done yet?
D: I'm having a difficult time picking which would be good for the family. Adopting is hard.
W: we've been here for HOURS, just pick a plant already!
D: right, so in this kind of situation, there's only one question we need to ask ourselves
W: how do we fix this?
D: wrong, the question is how do we fix this and make sure Roy doesn't find out that we screwed up in the first place?
D: I'm sorry I almost got us killed
W: I'm used to it
D: you ready?
W: not at all, but that's never stopped us before
D: stop correcting me!
W: then stop being wrong!
D: You only have one body, so you should take care of it
W: If I have one body, shouldn't I probably use it up? Really run it ragged.
W: Get my money's worth? Emphasize peak efficiency?
D: Every time I speak I feel something being taken from me
W: Like what?
D: My vitality
D: something happened
R: does it affect me?
W: no
R: then suffer in silence
D: Words ending in -ie sound adorable. like cutie, sweetie, cookie...
W: there's also cootie.
R: you're also forgetting die.
R: hey, it's me
R: you probably thought i was dead
R: and i am
R: on the inside
D: we need a thousand dollars
R: why do you need that much money?
W: escape room
R: …what kind of escape room costs $1000?
D: jail
D: you're mad at us
R: i'm not mad, just disappointed
W: oh, come on! everyone knows that's worse
D: are you okay?
R: No. you?
W: nope.
R: Nice to know we still do things together
D: We have good news and bad news.
R: what's the bad news?
W: your cat has rabies
R: what? I don't have a cat.
D: and now for the good news.
authors note - time isn't real.