A/N: Thanks for your reviews and sorry for the delays; life gets crazy but I'm doing my best. Thanks for sticking with me.
Chapter 77- Rich Girl-Part 1
"It's a bitch girl, but it's gone too far" –Hall and Oates
"Since you're hovering over me; why don't you help me look at these menus," Johanna said as she glanced at her fiancée who kept wondering into the kitchen and peering at her. He had something on his mind, she was sure of that…after all, he didn't usually stay on Mondays but he had followed her through the door, ate dinner and remained despite her scattering her work across the table first and then the newest round of wedding planning that she and her mother had reached.
"Why do we need to look at menus?" Jim asked. "Isn't there some standard wedding meal?"
"No; not exactly," she answered; "And we're looking at menus to see what each place my mother and I visited offers for their catering. You really should give me some input on this…food is one of your favorite things."
"Do we really need to pick a meal right now…I mean we don't even have a place for the reception yet…so why plan a meal when we have no place to eat it?"
"Well maybe we would if you had made some time for me this past weekend," Johanna remarked.
Jim gave her a sharp look as he grabbed a beer from the fridge. "What the hell do you mean by that? I took you out Saturday night."
"I mean I asked you to go with my mother and I to look at a few places and yet again you had a ballgame to attend…just like last weekend."
He took a sip of his beer. "I can't help it that my Dad had more tickets; besides, I'll like whatever place you like, Jo; you really don't need me along. Just go pick some place with your mother."
"You're so much help, Jim," she said sarcastically as she laid a menu aside and picked up another.
"I got you a list of places to look at," he replied; "You can't say I haven't done anything."
"Forgive me for overlooking the heavy lifting you did by asking your brother for a list of possible reception venues. Are you sure you should be standing after such a hard task? Maybe you need to lay down," Johanna stated as her eyes stayed upon the menu; reading the offerings and frowning.
He sighed; he couldn't let this evening go down this road…not when he had something to spring on her that he was sure she was going to balk out. "Let's not fight, Jo."
"Who's fighting? I'm just stating facts…maybe if you had gone with me to look at those places, we'd have a venue set for the reception…because believe it or not, I do like your input on this since it is for both of us."
"Jo; I told you, whatever place you like is fine with me. You take care of that and I'll take care of where we stay for our honeymoon…I'll be finalizing all of that next week when I go back to the travel agent."
Johanna's brow rose. "I get no input on where we stay? Why did you let me look at the brochures if I don't get to help make the choice?"
"The honeymoon is the groom's job," he remarked. "I asked where you wanted to go, you said Hawaii…I'll take it from there."
"Yeah; well, I hope you're taking it to a hotel on the beach," she retorted; "Because I'm not going to Hawaii and not have an ocean view outside the window."
"I assure you that you'll have a lovely view," Jim replied.
"I better," she muttered; "Now do you think you might want to sit down and look at these menus since you're here?"
"Do you not want me to stay?" he asked as he settled down on one of the kitchen chairs.
"Of course I want you to stay, I always do…but I'd appreciate it if you'd give me some opinions about the food."
"I told you what I want…steak."
"And I told you that I'm not buying everyone a steak dinner; now if you want to split the cost for the meal; fine."
"The groom isn't supposed to pay for the meal."
"The groom isn't supposed to annoy the bride either and yet you are," Johanna commented.
"I'm not doing anything," he exclaimed.
"Yes, I know…and it's annoying me," she replied; "Because I'm trying to plan this wedding and you're not helping."
"Just pick something light and simple," he suggested.
Johanna gathered up the menus and rose from the table. "I'll do this when I'm alone since you're clearly not interested…and just so you know; if you stayed tonight because you think you're going to get somewhere when we get into bed; you're sadly mistaken because I'm not interested tonight."
Jim sighed a little. "Honestly; I didn't stay because I had ulterior motives…but that doesn't mean I would mind if you wanted me to have ulterior motives…"
"I don't," Johanna said as she put her notebook and the menus in one of the kitchen drawers.
"A little quick with that answer."
"That just shows you how much I'm not in the mood tonight."
"Jo; don't get worked up over this; we've got time to pick the meal. You're getting stressed again."
"It's April, Jim," she murmured; "It's April and I don't have anything major accomplished…and we have to go back to Baltimore at the end of the month. I can't find a dress; I haven't settled on bridesmaids dresses…we don't have a place for the reception, we don't have food, or the rehearsal dinner, we don't have anything."
"Sure we do; we have a wedding party; we picked the date, we have the church, we picked the colors, you picked the flowers; we did the guest list…and we're not all that far into April."
"That's another thing we don't have; invitations," Johanna sighed. "We need to be getting invitations."
"We've got time."
"No, time is ticking," she remarked. "The invitations need to go out in June so they need to be ordered soon. I'm behind on everything."
"I'm sure it's not as bad as you think," he replied. "Just relax; it'll get done."
Johanna gave him an unamused look. "You're so comforting about all of this."
He blew out a breath. "What do you want me to do, Jo?"
"I want you to help me!"
"I have! I can't just do it for you; it's your job."
"It should be our job," she told him firmly.
Jim shook his head. "Wedding planning is a woman's work."
"Says who?"
"My father…he says it every time I go over there and ask a wedding related question for you," Jim stated before taking another sip of his beer.
"I only asked you for a guest list for your side of the family and you brought up asking your brother about places for the receptions so don't go acting like I send you over there with a list of questions all the time. As for your father, maybe he needs to join us in this decade."
Jim shrugged a little. "I don't think he's all that wrong…I mean it is a woman's job. I don't know anything about this stuff and the wedding is mainly for the bride anyway so I figure you should be the one to pick everything you want…and I know that somewhere inside you know what you want for the wedding, you're just not letting yourself have it for some reason…and I think that reason is because you don't know where you stand with your parents in the financial scheme of things."
"I told you I am not asking my father to foot the bill. If he volunteers to follow tradition, fine; but if he doesn't say anything, neither am I. I'll pay for it; don't worry, I don't want your money like your mother is convinced of. I'll take care of it but you're not getting a steak dinner."
"Okay, no steak…see when I do have an opinion you don't want it anyway so I don't know why you get so upset when I don't have one," Jim remarked. "You want me to pick food, I picked one and it was automatically vetoed."
She sighed deeply; they kept having this war about steak dinners at the wedding and she was tired of it…very, very tired of hearing about steak. "Fine, Jim; we'll have steak."
"I thought you didn't want to pay for steak."
"I'll blow the budget I have in mind just so I don't have to have this war about steak with you every time I try to ask you to have an opinion," she replied. "I'll just go ahead and write it down and consider that one thing done. We need to be getting a cake picked out…we need to go one day and see what we want."
"You know what I want; a standard cake, no fillings, no weird flavors," Jim remarked. "Just go order one."
"Don't you want to help with picking what it looks like? Don't you think we should sample a few?"
"Cakes are your forte, sweetheart; as long as it tastes good I'm not worried about what it looks like. Just pick your dream wedding cake from a bakery you like and everything will be fine."
She felt the irrational sting of tears in her eyes and she did her best to blink them back; a part of her wishing he had just gone home since he didn't want to help her with anything. All he was doing was instigating with his lack of support about the whole damn thing.
"Don't cry," Jim stated; making her flinch. "Why are you crying?"
"I'm not crying," she said sharply; forcing the emotion back.
"I saw tears," he replied. "What's wrong?"
She shrugged. "I'm just trying to figure out why you want to marry me when you're not interested in helping me get anything done for it. You don't want to look at venues. You don't want to look at menus; it was like pulling teeth to get you to help me pick colors…"
Jim sighed. "Jo; I've got my own part to take care of."
"Oh big deal; you have to plan a vacation!" she exclaimed. "Do you really think that's as hard as planning the wedding?"
"No; but…"
"If you say it's woman's work one more time," she said, her tone low and menacing.
"Well it is; but like I said, when I do give you an opinion you don't like it."
"I said we'd have the steak! I'm using the color you picked."
"Then you can't say I haven't participated."
Johanna raked her fingers through her hair. "Did you stay tonight just to aggravate me?"
"No; I didn't know you were going to have a sudden burst of wedding anxiety."
"I've had wedding anxiety for weeks now, Jim; I don't see it going away anytime soon."
"Maybe you're putting too much pressure on yourself."
"You know what, I don't want to talk about it anymore," Johanna replied. "You're not interested and I can't make anything work or find the things I want so you know what, whatever we end up with is what we have. Maybe we should just elope and be done with it and then I won't have to bother you with questions about my woman's work."
"Your mother wouldn't like that."
Johanna leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest in defeat. "She still hates our colors."
"So, it's our wedding. She doesn't have to like it."
"I can't find a dress…do you know how many dress shops I've been in in the last few weeks?"
He nodded; a sigh of suffering crossing his lips as he subtly rolled his eyes. "Yes; I think the latest tally was thirteen."
Her gaze narrowed at him, her chin trembling with emotion. "I'm sorry I bothered you with it. I won't bring it up anymore."
God she was touchy tonight, Jim thought to himself and that was the last thing he needed when he still hadn't told her what he had stayed to tell her. "You didn't bother me, Jo…you'll find your dress, I promise."
She wasn't so sure of that…she wasn't sure of a lot of things and Jim's reluctance to help her due to the influence of his father wasn't helping matters. Nothing was going right and her mother kept telling her that she was running out of time. She felt like she was racing the clock and nothing was coming together despite how hard she tried…and yet her mother didn't think she was trying all that hard and Jim didn't want to try at all to help her. Maggie was patiently waiting on her to select a color for the bridesmaids dresses and Sharon had been griping about how they hadn't been looking for said dresses yet. Maybe she'd had too many fairy tale images in her head when she used to envision the day she'd get married…maybe she should've picked a different date; one that would afford her more time to get things figured out…or figure herself out; whichever came first.
"Everything will work out," Jim said; dragging her out of her thoughts. "You get upset about it and it just makes it worse for you."
Johanna rolled her eyes, irritation flicking through her veins. "Thanks for stating the obvious, Jim; now how about we get to whatever it is on your mind tonight?"
The question caught him off guard and his face must've showcased it as she merely smirked at him. "What?" she said; "You think I didn't pick up on the fact that you've come into the kitchen ten times already and have only once gotten something out of the fridge? I know when something's on your mind."
"Maybe I just missed you," he replied.
"No; if you just missed me, you'd be over here on my side of the table, trying to get your hand anywhere possible so you could coax me into bed."
He gave her a grin. "Maybe I was saving that for my next trip to the kitchen."
"You're not one to wait when you're looking to cop a feel," Johanna remarked; "So let's get on with it."
"You want me to cop a feel now…when you're already moody?" he asked.
She glared at him as her chin lifted in defiance. "If my mood is a problem then you should remember that I didn't invite you to stay tonight."
"Well you should remember that once we're married, I don't have to be invited, I'll just automatically be staying whether you're moody or not."
"I can always decide to send you home to your mother," she remarked.
Jim sighed; there was an opening for the conversation. "Speaking of my mother…"
"Christ, is this about your mother?!" Johanna exclaimed; "Because I just don't know if I'm up to knowing right at the moment…if the choice is discussing her or letting you cop a feel; I'm going to take option B…you can find my mood, you have before."
He smiled. "I'm good like that…but we're going to have to go with option A first."
"I have a feeling that's going to put me off from offering to go to option B."
"Yeah, I have that feeling too," he admitted before taking a sip of his beer. "But you know how it is; you win some, you lose some."
Johanna sighed deeply and resigned herself to the conversation. "What is it? She has a new nickname for me?"
"No; not that I know of…but we've been invited to dinner tomorrow night."
She stared at him for a long moment. "You mean you've been invited?"
"Both of us."
Johanna eyed him. "And how much did you beg for that?"
His eyes widened. "I didn't even mention you when she called me."
"Then how did I get involved in this and what is it all about?"
"My brother has found his way home from Germany," Jim remarked; "So Mom wants all of the family at home for dinner tomorrow night because it only happens once a year…and sometimes not even that often."
"Your mother doesn't consider me family, Jim."
He blew out a breath. "Look; I didn't bring you up; she did."
"Exact words."
"Her exact words were 'I know you won't want to come without the princess so just bring her with you if it means you'll show up'."
Johanna nodded. "That's more like it; but I'll pass."
"You can't pass."
Her brow arched as she regarded him. "And why is that?"
"Because…it wouldn't be fair," Jim replied; "I always go to your parents for dinner when you ask me."
"Yeah; but there's a difference…my parents like you," Johanna remarked.
"Well I can't help that," he exclaimed. "I was fully prepared to be hated by your father; it's not my fault he betrayed us. I can't help it that I'm likeable."
A tight lipped smiled crossed her lips. "Well then I guess it's true what they say about opposites attracting; there's likeable you and unlikeable me getting ready to be joined in matrimony."
Jim cringed a little; he hadn't thought about what he was saying and now he had screwed up. "I didn't mean it like that at all, sweetheart. You're very likeable…I liked you the first moment I saw you."
"Your family doesn't like me though," she muttered. "I've tried, Jim…I just can't get them to like me."
"They do like you; my father has a few old fashioned ideals just like every man his age but he still likes you and Andrew adores you; Grandma loves you."
She frowned a little. "Your mother and your other siblings don't."
Jim shook his head. "They do; they're just afraid of Mom…and I know that sooner or later, she's going to settle down about us and she'll like you too in her own way."
"Yeah right," she scoffed.
"Come on, sweetheart; it's just dinner and she invited you."
"She invited me so you'd show up, not because she wants me at her table."
"Maybe this is a turning point," he suggested.
Johanna shook her head softly. "It's not, honey. She thinks the only way she can get you there is if I'm with you…and it doesn't need to be that way. I don't want her to think I'm pulling your strings and making you take me everywhere you go. I'm not that kind of woman; we're both free to do our own thing when we want. So you go to your family dinner tomorrow and have a nice time; I might go see Colleen…she needs comforting."
"I think she needs something beyond comforting when she's ready to hand her baby over to you to raise," Jim remarked.
Johanna sighed softly. "Colleen's never liked kids, Jim…and she was so upset. She was thinking about having an abortion; I had to do something so she wouldn't do something she'd regret so I told her if she still didn't want it when it was born, I'd take it…it got abortion off of her mind. I don't want my sister risking her life like that."
"I know…and if you need to adopt her baby because she and her idiot husband don't want it, then I'm prepared to help you raise it as our own…although I was hoping we'd be married a little longer than two months before we became parents."
"I don't really see it happening, Jim; especially if it's a boy. Paul wants a son to keep the Weston dynasty going."
"Hopefully he'll get one and they can live happily ever after; but you can go see your sister another night. You go with me tomorrow."
"I said I don't want to go."
"I know what you said," he replied sharply; "But I think you can do this one thing for me, Johanna; I do plenty of things you want."
"How can you expect me to go there after what happened the last time!" she exclaimed. "She probably has some more pecans she wants to try out on me."
"No, she doesn't," he said with a shake of his head. "She doesn't do the same trick twice."
"Just the same, I'm not comfortable eating there and I don't think you can blame me for that."
Jim sighed deeply. "I don't…but you could try to get over it for me…she did pay your doctor bill."
"And that makes it okay?" she asked. "That should make me want to eat what she puts in front of me?"
"No; it doesn't make it okay…but we can get past it."
"Jim," she sighed; "I just don't really want to do this right now."
"And I really don't like the idea of you signing up for adoption at the moment but I said I'd help you raise the kid if your sister hands it over so I think you can go to my mother's tomorrow and sit at the table. I get that you're wary of the food so don't eat, okay? Just go and sit there…like I go and sit through everything you want."
"And what exactly have I made you sit through?" she asked; a sting of emotion rippling through her.
"The horror stories of your dress shopping come to mind," he replied. "I have heard more about hideous wedding dresses, necklines and cheap material than I have ever wanted to hear in my life."
"And yet just moments ago, you said you weren't bothered by it."
"Yes," he said with a nod; "Because I love you…and being that I love you; I can sit through thirteen renditions of 'hideous wedding dresses'; and since you love me, you can sit at my mother's table for an evening and not act like it'll kill you to associate with my family. I do plenty of associating with yours lately."
"I don't force you to go with me," Johanna retorted; "I ask if you want to go and you usually say yes; how is that my fault? When we first started dating, all I heard was that I was hiding my family from you and now you act like I'm forcing them on you all because I don't want to eat dinner with your mother again."
"Well if we're going to be married you have to start accepting that sometimes we're going to be at my mother's."
"So I'm just supposed to take her constant abuse?" she asked.
"Maybe if you'd quit jumping at it so easily she'd quit doing it," Jim retorted. "I'm only asking you to go to dinner, Johanna; not an execution…and if you don't go, then you can start going to your mother's without me because I'm not going to go with you all the time while you never go with me."
The harshness of his words and tone wounded her heart but she didn't give in to the emotion; instead she silently accepted that she'd be spending the next evening with her future mother-in-law and she'd do her best to fade into the background so that her presence went largely unnoticed.
"Fine," she said quietly. "I'll go…but I won't eat. I don't trust her and you can't make me. I'll go…and the next time we're invited to my mother's, I'll go alone because I don't want you to be put out with how uneven the visiting schedule has been at this point. I also won't bother you with anymore mentions of my dress shopping or the wedding plans and then we can live in peace, okay?"
"Jo," he sighed; a tinge of regret coursing through him. He had been harsh to push his agenda and maybe he had gone too far.
"What time do we need to be there? Do I need to leave work early so I can get ready? What do you want me to wear?"
"Dinner is at six-thirty so that everyone has time to get home from work. As for what you wear, that's up to you; I don't care what you wear. You can wear whatever you wear to work tomorrow…in fact maybe you should so we won't be late."
Johanna scoffed softly. "I really don't please you at all, do I?"
"Of course you do…but I know how you fuss over your clothes when you're going somewhere; we'll be late and we don't want her complaining about that."
"I'll change my clothes at the office," Johanna replied. "I'll pick something to take with me or I'll wear one of the dresses I keep in my closet at work. Just bring me home long enough to drop off my briefcase and then we can go."
"You don't need to change at work; you're being ridiculous over something that isn't going to be a big deal. If you want to change your clothes tomorrow then just pick out what you want to change into tonight and have it laid out, okay? Don't make this a big deal."
Johanna pushed her chair back from the table and rose from her seat. "I'm going to go get my shower and then I'm going to bed and watch TV…the shows I want to watch for a change since it is my TV; so if you're staying, watch what you want in the living room…and if you decide to leave, lock the door behind you and I'll see you tomorrow."
"I keep getting the feeling that you don't want me here tonight," Jim stated as he eyed her; knowing he'd made her angry.
"You're right…I don't," she replied. "Maybe we could use a night apart…you know, since you don't want to discuss my woman's work of planning and I don't want to accidentally mention dresses or God forbid, mention going with my mother to look for reception venues…I wouldn't want you to feel like I was expecting you to spend more time with my family…even though I didn't ask you to go with me to my mother's for dinner last night. Now I'm going to get my shower; be careful getting home. I love you."
"What if I'm still here when you get out of the shower?" Jim asked.
"Then I suggest you wait until I'm asleep before you come to bed…because I just need some space right now," she said sharply.
Jim took another swallow of his beer; maybe some space would do them good. "Alright, Jo," he said as he rose from the table; "I'll go home and let you have your space that you suddenly need."
"Good; see you tomorrow."
He sighed deeply as he made his way toward her, pressing a chaste kiss to her lips. "I love you."
"I love you too, be careful getting home."
"I will," he promised as he followed her to the living room; thinking to himself that he had played this whole evening wrong. She had been off the last few days…a bit on edge and weepy over wedding planning and this dinner was probably coming at a bad time but he needed her to go…especially when he hadn't had to ask for her to be invited. "Lock the door," he told her. "I'll pick you up in the morning for work."
Johanna nodded as he opened the door. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight, sweetheart," he said quietly; wishing he could turn things around, but as the door closed behind him, he knew it was far too late to change course tonight.
Johanna had spent all of the next day hoping that some client would come along and demand a last minute meeting which would require her to stay late at the office…but her hopes were for naught. Court didn't run over, clients showed up on time and no one needed her to stay late. It just figured she thought to herself as she locked the office door so she could change clothes. She really didn't want to go to Jim's parents…especially when it was for a meal for William, who had deemed her a slut without even being properly introduced to her before she and Jim had even been dating. She also didn't want to make her return to Elizabeth's table…not after what had happened at Thanksgiving. She just wasn't ready yet, despite knowing that one day it would have to happen…but still; it didn't feel like enough time had passed…and she wasn't really sure that she believed that Elizabeth had invited her without some slight nudging from her son. After all, why would she want her at a family dinner when she had made it clear that she would never consider her family?
Johanna sighed as she made her way to the closet and opened the door, kicking off her heels as she did so. She didn't exactly like changing clothes at the office unless she spilled something…she'd much rather get ready at home but Jim's lecture about being on time had been repeated that morning when he picked her up and again at lunch and with his firm tone ringing in her ears, she shed her blazer and unzipped her black skirt, pushing it off of her hips and allowing it to pool on the floor at her feet. It was a good thing she kept an outfit or two in her office closet just in case of spills…it gave her quick options for something to wear to this dreaded dinner. She nudged her discard skirt aside with her foot and quickly unbuttoned her blouse; shedding the emerald silk and dropping it to the floor before reaching into the closet for the periwinkle dress she had worn when she had taken Jim to meet her father. It was sedate; a very modest neckline and the hem skimmed her knees. Perhaps that would get her off the slut list…but somehow she doubted it as she slipped the dress on and zipped it up. Elizabeth had made up her mind about her long ago. Johanna put on the matching heels and then put her discarded work outfit and shoes in the closet to be dealt with tomorrow. Another sigh crossed her lips as she grabbed her purse and took out her small makeup bag. She took out her compact and began to touch up her makeup as the doorknob jiggled; pulling her from her thoughts.
"Johanna, you better not have left," Jim remarked.
She rolled her eyes; God he was uptight today…and even her offer of taking their lunch break at her place had been declined. She hadn't known what to make of that; he knew by now that when she was willing to go to her place for lunch that it meant lunch really wasn't on the agenda…he had never declined a lunch break trip before…and she wished he hadn't started now; he could've benefited from it…and to tell the truth, she could've used the stress relief herself. Maybe they both would've been more relaxed…God knows she needed some relaxation. Details for the wedding were suffocating her despite her best attempts to get things accomplished…her mother had already demanded that she come over Wednesday evening for dinner so that they could discuss the menus they had picked up and to talk about venues for the reception again. Sharon had complained all day that she still hadn't decided when to look for bridesmaids dresses…and now she had the added complication of finding a style that would accommodate her sister who had tearfully announced her pregnancy to her two weeks ago. She of course hadn't mentioned anything about the dresses to Colleen; her sister had been too upset about being pregnant to have that worry on her shoulders when she wasn't even sure she wanted the baby she was going to have. Another sigh crossed her lips; she was sure they'd find something to accommodate Colleen…who would be seven months pregnant by the time the wedding got there. Her eyes closed as she recapped her lipstick; a pregnant bridesmaid…a disgruntled bridesmaid who thought she should be maid of honor, a wedding crazed mother of the bride and a groom who took his father's advice and deemed everything wedding related as her job only…plus there were hideous wedding dresses that she hated, no reception venue, her mother hated their color scheme and she was behind schedule. The whole thing was starting to keep her awake at night and filled with anxiety. How was she ever going to pull this off?
"Johanna!" Jim exclaimed again.
"I was changing my clothes," she called back, a touch of irritation in her voice.
"You didn't need to change," he replied. "Let's get going; I told you I wanted to be on time."
Johanna dropped her compact and lipstick back into her bag and made her way to the door and unlocked it. "I'm ready, okay? Don't get uptight."
"If you're ready, where's your briefcase? You said you wanted to drop it off."
"I'm leaving it here," she replied. "I'm not going to be doing any work tonight so there's no need to take it. We can just go if you're ready."
"I'm ready," Jim said. "I've been ready; why did I have to yell for you twice?"
"Because I was thinking about stuff; I'm sorry."
"Lock up and let's go," he said as he flipped the light switch for her office.
She sighed softly as she locked her office door and hooked the strap of her purse over her shoulder. "Jim; are you okay? You seem uptight about this; if you don't want to go, you don't have to."
"You're the one who doesn't want to go."
"No, I don't…but I have a feeling that you don't want to go either."
"I didn't say that."
"I know…but it's a feeling. I know you…you're not looking forward to it."
"Maybe that's because I know you're not looking forward to it."
"Why should I?" she asked.
"Because you were invited without anyone asking," Jim replied. "Maybe she's coming around."
Johanna scoffed. "Yeah; that's why she told you to bring the princess if it meant you would show up. She only invited me to guarantee that you would be there…not because she really wants me there and we both know she doesn't…and Jim, it's okay that she doesn't. I wouldn't be mad if you went without me."
"Oh I'm sure you wouldn't," he replied; "But if we're going to be married, you're going to have to learn to go. It's what people do."
"I wouldn't have a problem with going if she didn't hate me."
"Maybe the more she sees you, she'll get over that," he said as he took her hand and practically dragged her down the hallway to the elevator.
"Do we have to walk so fast?" she asked. "We're going to get there in plenty of time…and it would be nice to show up without a broken ankle from being dragged."
Jim breathed deeply and slowed his pace. "Sorry."
"Honey…" she began to say.
"We're going, Johanna," he stated; "You don't have to eat if it makes you uncomfortable given what happened at Thanksgiving, but we're going."
"I didn't say we weren't…I just feel like something's wrong."
"I had a bad day at work, dear" he said sarcastically; "And now I'm an anticipating a bad evening ahead."
"I'll be as quiet as possible and I'll stay out of your mother's way," Johanna promised. "I know she doesn't like when I offer to help in the kitchen so I won't say anything. I know Michael and Natalie will be there and I promise I won't say anything about them turning us down about being in the wedding. I won't mention the kids either. I'll try not to be in the way."
"It's not you," he stated, punching the button as they paused in front of the elevator.
"Then what is it?"
"You know William and I don't get along."
"I know…and if you don't want to see him, you don't have to. I know your mother will get mad but she'll get over it."
"I don't want to see Michael either."
"Then let's just go home," she murmured. "We can order something for dinner, open a bottle of wine and just try to relax. No family, and I promise, no wedding planning."
"You want me home with you tonight? You didn't want me last night," he retorted.
"So that's what it is," Johanna remarked; "You're mad about last night. I'm sorry…I was frustrated with the wedding plans…I still am…and I just wanted you to help me and you didn't want to and then there was this thing about dinner tonight and I just…needed a little space. I'm sorry…I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm just…all of these plans that need done plus my current case load; it's just all drowning me at the moment, at least it feels like it."
"That's because you're making it more complicated than it needs to be," Jim said as the doors of the elevator opened. "If you'd just relax it and quit worrying about what your mother likes and doesn't like, it would go a lot easier for you."
Johanna scoffed as he tugged her onto the elevator. "If that isn't the pot calling the kettle black. You're going to a dinner for a brother you don't even like because you're worried about what your mother will think."
"It's different."
"No," she said with a shake of her head; "It's not."
"It is but I'm not going to argue with you about it."
Johanna sighed and gave his hand a squeeze. "See, we should've gone home for lunch like I suggested."
"I wasn't in the mood," Jim replied; "Just like you weren't last night."
"Well now we see where these moods get us," she quipped; desperate to lighten the mood.
"What made you find yours at lunch time?"
"I was looking for stress relief," she admitted.
"That's romantic," he said, his tone dripping with sarcasm.
"It wouldn't be the first time we used sex as an outlet," Johanna replied; "We always enjoy it no matter the reason…and love is always part of every reason…so I feel like it's always romantic for us. But if we're going down this avenue of thought; I didn't realize making it romantic every time was high on your list…I mean it didn't seem like the height of romance on your couch last week when you just wanted to shut me up about wedding planning so you could have what you wanted but I enjoyed it anyway."
Jim nodded. "Okay, point taken."
"That's what I thought."
"Let's not fight," he remarked; "The last thing we need is to be fighting on the way to my mother's."
"We're not fighting," she replied. "If we were fighting, I wouldn't be holding your hand."
Jim glanced down at their joined hands as the elevator opened into the lobby. "Just try for me tonight, okay? You were invited so maybe it's going to be a good thing. So just try."
Johanna cut him a sharp look. "You say that like I didn't try the last time; I did. I offered to help her. I stayed out of her way when she told me to; I didn't speak unless spoken to and even then I let her cut me off and redirect the conversation elsewhere. Don't act like I didn't try."
"I know all that…but just try again tonight."
"Jim, what do you think I'm going to do?"
"I think you're going to go in there wearing that look on your face like you're going to an execution," he replied.
She jerked her hand away from his. "For someone who doesn't want to fight, you sure are making a good effort at starting one," she retorted as she headed for the door. "Don't worry, I'll control my face. I'll keep my mouth shut and blend into the nearest corner I can find while pushing the food around on my plate so she thinks I'm eating it…because I'm not. Is that good enough for you?"
"Jo," he breathed; feeling like he was screwing up this night already but he wanted it to go better than the last time.
"I didn't realize you had so many worries about taking me around your family," she stated as he followed behind her. "I already get nervous enough about it knowing how they feel about me and now you made it worse. Thank you so much for that."
"I'm not worried about you," he told her.
"Yes, you are. You think I'm going to embarrass you and if that's how you feel about it, drop me off and go without me…because you know what, you acted uptight when your grandmother invited me to dinner. You were uptight about Thanksgiving and you're uptight about this one so let's just not do it. You go to dinner, I'll go home."
"No," he sighed. "I want you to go with me…and then we'll go home."
"Maybe we should have a repeat of last night; if you stayed, I'd be turning my back to you and you'd find that very unromantic," Johanna remarked as they made their way to the car.
"Jo," he said gently, catching hold of her elbow and turning her toward him before she could jerk open the car door. "I'm sorry…I know you try. It's not you; it's me…I did have a bad day…and I guess I was mad at you not wanting me there last night."
"It wasn't that I didn't want you…I was just upset and you weren't making it better like you usually do…and you know, it's okay sometimes for us to need space."
"I know," he said with a nod. "It was stupid to get mad over."
She shook her head. "It's not…but I did try to make it up to you…you turned me down."
He gave her a hint of a smile. "I thought you were looking for stress relief?"
"I was…but you've been known to stress me out at times so I figure you can help de-stress me," she said with a grin; "And I figured then it would feel like we had made up from last night but you didn't want anything to do with me…all you wanted to do was lecture me over lunch at the diner down the street."
"I'm sorry," he murmured before pulling her closer for a kiss. "I'll take you somewhere nicer for lunch tomorrow…no lectures, no family mentions, no wedding planning. Just a peaceful lunch break somewhere nice."
Johanna offered him a small smile. "That sounds nice."
Jim stole another kiss. "Let's go get this over with."
She nodded, saying nothing as he opened the car door for her but she prayed the evening would pass peacefully and without incident…but she wasn't sure she was that lucky.
The dinner was tedious; Johanna couldn't help but think as she pushed around the food on her plate. Jim's hurry to get them there had gotten them there a full hour before they had needed to arrive. Elizabeth had greeted her son but had ignored her; leaving it up to Robert to re-introduce her to William. She frowned a little; William was the polar opposite of Jim and Andrew…and even Michael to some extent. He didn't bother to fake any attempt at kindness; had merely looked her up and down and smirked at his brother as if he knew he had chosen badly when it came to women. Johanna sighed softly; being there early had meant sitting in the corner of the living room, listening to the awkward talk between Jim, Robert and William. It was easy to see the disconnect between the men; William wasn't interested in the things they were…and they had no interest in the things William participated in in Germany.
Michael and Natalie had arrived closer to six and Johanna had been disappointed to see that the kids had been left with a babysitter. If the kids had been there at least she would've had someone to talk to…she felt forgotten in her corner…and was barely acknowledged by Michael and Natalie. Of course they hadn't gone out of their way to converse much with Jim either. More awkwardness had filled the air…and she felt like it was her fault. After all, these people were family; surely they would've spoken more freely if she hadn't been there…if there wasn't that awkward discord about Michael and Natalie turning them down for the wedding party…if it wasn't for Elizabeth's obvious hate. It was obvious that she wasn't wanted there. Madelyn had barely spoken to her…Grandma Lilly hadn't came as she was battling a spring cold and wasn't up to going out. With the kids at the babysitter and Lilly down with the cold; she felt like she had no allies…because even Jim hadn't said much to her since they had arrived.
On the bright side, she felt like she was keeping her promise to her fiancée; she had blended into the nearest corner; hadn't said anything unless spoken to and was going largely ignored. With dinner under way; hopefully their escape would come soon and she could go home and go over the menus again…see which caterer offered steak since that was what Jim kept demanding and see what to serve with it. Maybe if she got the meal figured out it would feel like a victory…unless of course her mother didn't like something about any ideas she had tomorrow when they were discussing it. Why did planning a wedding have to be so difficult? Why did there have to be so much pressure? Most of all, why couldn't her fiancé just help her a little? Maybe if he'd give her a little effort, it wouldn't feel so impossible. Of course it wouldn't feel so impossible either if she could find what she wanted…if she didn't have worries about how Jim's family felt about her. God, she felt like an outsider here…so out of place; so unwelcome. Their voices carried on around her; she didn't mind…she didn't know what to say anyway and yet she couldn't help but feel alone…couldn't help but envision future holidays and family gatherings where it would most likely be like this all the time. It was hard to think about…hard to think of bearing. She wished it wasn't that way…but they had made up their minds about her…she didn't belong. No one said those exact words but she could feel it just the same.
"Is there something wrong with your food?" Elizabeth asked sharply, breaking into Johanna's thoughts.
"No, Lizzie," Robert stated; "The food is fine."
"Not you," she snapped. "I meant her."
"Which her?" Robert asked. "There are three other women at the table besides you, dear."
"Her," she said sharply; pointing her fork in Johanna's direction. "She's just sitting there playing with it, pushing it around like a toddler."
"She has a name," Jim stated; his defenses rising as he felt the battle brewing.
"Fine," Elizabeth stated; "Is there a problem with your meal, Princess?"
"No," Johanna said; seeing Jim tense from across the table.
"Then why are you pushing it around the plate instead of eating it?" Elizabeth demanded to know.
"I'm not hungry," she answered. It wasn't a lie; the second she saw fish on the plate she had lost her appetite. She despised fish almost as much as she despised Chinese food.
Elizabeth eyed her. "You're not hungry after a day at work? I find that hard to believe."
"Your son treated me to a very nice lunch," Johanna answered; keeping her tone quiet and neutral.
"That would've been hours ago," his mother remarked. "I'm not buying that you don't eat after work; after all, I hear enough about your alleged wonderful cooking."
"The meal probably isn't good enough for her," William remarked. "She looks like the type that can't be pleased…that's probably why Jim picked her. He likes lost causes."
"If anyone is a lost cause," Jim stated; "It's you, William; but I guess every family has to have a dud somewhere."
His brother smirked at him. "Can't you ever let her speak for herself? I saw the way she looked at the food when it was put in front of her. It's not good enough for Miss Prissy."
"That's not true," Johanna replied before she could stop herself.
"Then eat the meal my mother provided you with instead of being ungrateful," William said sharply. "You shouldn't even be here; you're not family."
"She is family," Jim retorted. "She's going to be my wife."
"Well until then, she's not family," William argued. "Tell her to eat the meal she was given."
"I'm not hungry," Johanna said once more.
Madelyn smirked at her. "Then you shouldn't have came."
It was on the tip of her tongue to say that she hadn't wanted to come but Jim's look of warning kept her lips sealed.
"There aren't any pecans in it, if that's what you're worried about," Michael spoke up. "She wouldn't poison you twice."
"What?" William asked.
"Mom knew she was allergic to pecans," Andrew stated. "She put them in everything at Thanksgiving to make her sick."
William howled with laughter. "Maybe we could use you in the army, Mom. Kitchen warfare could be a new thing."
"It's not funny," Jim said firmly. "How would you like it if she did that to someone you love?"
"I wouldn't love someone stupid enough not to know that she was eating something that she was allergic to. I mean you'd think she'd know," William said before glancing at Johanna. "Are you a better lawyer than you are at feeding yourself? The legal profession is in a lot of trouble if you're not."
"I hadn't tasted pecans since I was a child," Johanna retorted. "As for my job, I assure you that I'm very good at it. Are you any good at yours? I'd hate to think that the fate of this country rests in your hands."
"Don't you talk to my son that way," Elizabeth snapped. "He's a wonderful solider; been in the military since he was eighteen. He's a Captain and has medals and everything. You just shut your mouth and eat your dinner."
Johanna fell silent but didn't raise her fork. She glanced across the table at Jim and noted the tightness of his jaw and wished that they had stayed home.
"I told you to eat," Elizabeth said sharply. "There are no pecans in it."
"I'm not hungry."
Elizabeth glared at her. "You don't trust my word?"
"No," Johanna replied; "I don't trust you in all honesty but it has nothing to do with that. The simple fact is that I don't like fish. I never have."
"Is that all it is?" Robert laughed. "We can get you something else."
"No, we won't," his wife seethed. "There are other things on that plate besides fish. I know she eats potatoes because she ate them at Thanksgiving. She can eat them. She can eat the corn or the rolls or any other thing on that plate. I made this meal because it's William's favorite, This dinner is for him, not her; and I won't cater to uppity little girls who think the world revolves around them."
"I didn't ask you to cater to me; nor did I ask you to give me a replacement meal," Johanna replied. "I don't want anything to eat."
"That's good," she retorted; "Because in this house the rule is eat what you're given or do without."
"I'm fine doing without. I ate at lunch and I'm fine."
"Fine; then you give your plate to Andrew; he always likes seconds. You can sit and watch everyone else eat…and the next time you're invited here; you'll get nothing since nothing pleases you," Elizabeth said tartly.
"Now, Lizzie," Robert replied; "If the girl doesn't like fish, she doesn't like it. You can't force her."
"She's just doing it to be a smart ass," his wife retorted. "She gets nothing from now on…better yet; if you're not going to eat, don't come in my house."
"I didn't do it to offend you, Mrs. Beckett. I've just never liked seafood…you can ask Jim; he knows."
"Oh like I'm going to ask him; he covers your ass all the time. You've got him so turned around that he can't see the forest for the trees. That's why he spent all that money on that ring on your finger…like he thought he was proposing to Jackie Kennedy or something."
"I've never asked him to spend a lot of money on me," Johanna said; her tone tense as her hand curled into her napkin. "I didn't know he was going to propose; and even if I had, I wouldn't have expected him to spend so much."
"I just bet," his mother laughed.
"Johanna doesn't ask me to spend money on her," Jim said firmly. "I give her nice things because I can afford to and because she deserves them."
"What all did she do to earn that ring?" William asked; a suggestive note in his tone.
"Watch your mouth," Jim warned; "Or you'll wish you had stayed in Germany."
His brother scoffed. "You always got to play the hero, don't you, little brother?"
"Boys; let's not fight," Robert stated; "None of us have really talked to Johanna this evening, she's probably feeling left out."
"I'm fine," Johanna assured. "The evening is for your family."
"You are family," he stated; "Everyone else has had their turn at talking about one thing or another. I'd say it's your turn. How are wedding plans going, Johanna?"
"We don't need to speak of that tonight," Elizabeth interrupted; "This is William's evening. He's not here very often and we should talk about what he wants to talk about."
"I think a family dinner means giving everyone an opportunity to speak and catch us up on their lives," Robert replied. "Everyone else has had their turn, now it should be hers."
"She's not family," Elizabeth remarked.
"She will be," her husband stated.
She scoffed. "We'll see."
Robert turned his gaze back to Johanna. "How are the plans going? Did you get a place for the reception?"
She felt her jaw tighten a little. "No, I haven't," she said; her tone calm and even although she hated that this subject had come up.
"What's the hold up?" Robert asked. "You need to be getting a place picked out, dear; summer months fill up quickly."
"Yes, I know."
"Then you can't keep putting it off. I know you're a busy girl but you're wasting a lot of time, honey."
Her jaw tightened even more and Jim shook his head at her, silently begging her to say nothing but the words slipped through her lips before she could stop them. "Well maybe if your son would quit bailing on me in favor of your ballgame tickets, I would've had a place picked out by now."
Robert chuckled. "Now, Johanna; no red blooded man is going to choose venues over a good ballgame. Besides, it's woman's work."
"Yes, Jim's informed me of everything that you deem as woman's work," she remarked, a slight chill in her tone; "But since the wedding is for both of us, I would like for him to be involved."
"He is; he's planning the honeymoon. The rest is for you and your mother to take care of, dear. I know you're a modern woman and all about equal rights and all of that and I agree women should be equal…but there are some things that are a man's job and some things that are a woman's job. Planning weddings is a woman's job…you can't expect Jimmy to do it."
"I didn't ask Jim to do it; I asked him to help me."
"Your mother is supposed to help you."
"She is…but I value Jim's opinion."
"At least until I give it to you, then you turn it down," Jim remarked.
She cut him a sharp look. "I told you that you would get steak like you want."
William chuckled from his place near his mother. "Sounds like she has you whipped already, Jim."
"She does not," Jim retorted. "I haven't done any of the damn planning; she knows it's her thing to do."
Elizabeth scoffed. "Is that why you've been over here twice about guest lists and asking your brother about venues? Oh and let's not forget asking Michael and Natalie to be a part of the wedding party. Sounds like you're doing it all and she's not doing anything."
"That's a lie!" Johanna exclaimed. "He doesn't done a damn thing other than getting me a list of relatives and some places to look at."
"And he shouldn't!" Elizabeth retorted. "Your family is so eager to marry you off, let them help you."
"My mother is helping me."
"Then why don't you have anything done, Miss High and Mighty?" Elizabeth asked.
"Because I don't," she retorted. "I do have a day job."
Her future mother-in-law laughed. "Oh I don't think it's your job that's in the way…I think you're just lazy and want everyone else to do it for you."
"She does look like the type who wants to be waited on," William remarked. "I did notice that she didn't offer to help you put dinner on the table."
Johanna's eyes narrowed. "I didn't offer to help your mother because the last time I offered, I was told no. I wasn't allowed anywhere near the kitchen."
"You should've offered anyway," William retorted. "Instead all you did was set on your ass like some queen on a throne."
Johanna smiled but it lacked warmth. "If you're so concerned about your mother needing help, why didn't you get up and go help her? Surely it's not beneath you to help your mother, now is it?"
"This dinner is for William!" Elizabeth stated; "He's not to lift a finger. You're the one who puts on airs…and your mother acts like she's trained you to be so polite and perfect and yet you won't even eat the dinner you were given."
"I told you, I don't like fish. I don't eat things I don't like."
"You're just being trouble as usual," Elizabeth spat. "I think you do want Jim to plan the wedding while you do nothing. If he makes the mistake of marrying you, he'll never know a moment of peace. You're high maintenance; you'll run him ragged."
"I don't see them getting married," William remarked. "I mean she can't even plan the wedding and it's only a few months away. They're not getting married."
"Yes, we are," Jim said firmly.
William shook his head. "I doubt it…and if you do; it won't last. Even Michael said that marriage won't last more than a year."
"I think that's too generous of an assessment," Elizabeth remarked. "I give it six months."
Johanna could see the anger in Jim's face as he glanced across the table at his brother. "So you've already decided that my marriage isn't going to last?" he said as he eyed Michael.
Michael looked sheepish. "Well…you two do fight all the time. That doesn't set the stage for a good marriage…and she and Mom don't get along…it's worse with her than it is with Natalie…so…I wouldn't be surprised if it didn't last."
"Michael," Robert chastened.
"I never intended to say it to their faces," Michael remarked. "I said it to William in a private conversation."
William shrugged. "You didn't say it was a secret."
"It didn't need to be said at all," their father said firmly.
"Why not?" Elizabeth stated. "Everyone knows this is a disaster waiting to happen."
"It is not," Robert remarked. "I'm sure Johanna will get things taken care of soon…but you do need to quit procrastinating, honey."
Johanna glanced at Michael and Natalie. "So is that the real reason you refused to be a part of our wedding? Is it why you won't let the kids be in it? You figure you'll wait until Jim's next wedding?"
"No," Natalie said with a shake of her head. "We just don't have time for those responsibilities…and you were trying too hard to have all the kids in it. Alicia is too little to be a flower girl…and quite frankly your nephew is too little to be the ring bearer. You should've chosen Danny for the role or even Mikey."
"I'm not going to shun my own nephew!" Johanna exclaimed; "And he isn't too little. He's already been practicing."
"You'll see that it won't be the smooth sailing thing you think it will be with a three year old in that role," Natalie remarked. "But that will be on you. As for me…well…it's not like we're close; and bridesmaids should be people you're close to."
"I asked you so I could include someone from Jim's family on my side," Johanna said, her tone even; "Just like my brother is going to be one of his groomsman."
Natalie shrugged a little. "It's just not done that way…in my opinion. I don't have anything against you, I like you well enough…but we're not close…I don't even know if you could call us friends; we don't even really know each other."
"Maybe that's because none of you want to try to know me," Johanna retorted. "I'm good enough to babysit your kids but other than that, you don't want to know anything about me."
"It's not like that," Natalie replied; "It's just that we're different…I'm not sure we'd have a lot in common and I've got four kids to take care of. It isn't like we can go spend a girls day together like I could've done years ago. I'm sorry if it hurt your feelings but I just don't think it was my place to be in your wedding."
"At least you were asked," Madelyn interrupted. "Because I wasn't asked to be a part of this wedding."
"You don't even like me!" Johanna exclaimed.
"No one here likes you!" Madelyn retorted; "But you could've asked me anyway!"
"I like you," Andrew stated, catching Johanna's eye.
She offered him a small smile but turned her attention back to Madelyn. "I'm sorry you were offended. I didn't think you'd accept if I asked."
"Jimmy should've made you ask," Madelyn remarked; shooting her brother a glare. "I am his only sister. If anyone from this family should have been asked; it should have been me!"
"Why bother asking, Maddy?" Jim replied; "You would've just turned us down like Michael; and let's not forget, Michael and Natalie's main reason for saying no was that they didn't want to hear Mom complain about it if they were in the wedding."
"Let her put her own family in this damn farce if it ever happens," Elizabeth stated. "I'd rather we all stay out of it."
"We're not staying out of it," Robert stated. "We're all going to be there."
"Not me," William stated. "I'm not asking for leave for a marriage that probably isn't even going to happen."
"Who said you were invited?" Jim asked.
William sneered at his brother. "Do you think I'd care if I wasn't? Believe me, I don't waste time thinking about you. You're the one who thinks you're the saint of the family…and now you think you're getting some prize of a wife and I'm telling you, she's going to be trouble just like Mom says. You can see it just by looking at her."
"Would you like me to punch you in the face again?" Jim asked; "Because I really enjoyed doing it last year and wouldn't mind doing it again."
"I wouldn't mind seeing it again myself," Andrew remarked.
"There will be no hitting in my dining room!" Elizabeth exclaimed. "You're brothers; you will act like it under my roof."
"We could go out in the yard," Andrew suggested. "We've done that before."
William glared at Andrew. "Don't you have a plane to catch? Maybe a bimbo of your own to bring home to Mom?"
"Yeah, I'm definitely going to punch you in the face again," Jim stated.
"That's enough boys," Robert stated. "Have you gotten the honeymoon plans finalized yet, Jimmy?"
"I'll be finalizing the plans next week," Jim answered.
His father nodded. "Well stop by the office and I'll give you some money to put toward it."
"Oh no you won't!" Elizabeth yelled. "Not a damn penny of our money is going to this wedding! If he wants to make this mistake; he can make it with his own money."
"I'm the one who makes the money, Lizzie," Robert said sharply; "If I want to give my son a gift, I will."
"I said you won't."
"I will."
"It's alright, Dad; I have the money for the honeymoon," Jim remarked.
"Doesn't matter," Robert said. "I still want to contribute to it. I know the groom's parents are also supposed to pay for the rehearsal dinner. When will you be ready to plan that, Johanna?"
She felt like a vice was tightening around her whole body, squeezing tighter every time someone brought up wedding plans. "I don't know. I'm trying to get the menu set for the reception right now."
"You're planning the meal when you don't even have a venue for it?" Elizabeth asked; "What kind of stupidity is that? How did you ever get through law school with the ass backwards way you like to do things?"
"Law school was much easier," Johanna muttered; stabbing her fork into the fish.
"Didn't you like the places I gave you a list of?" Andrew asked.
"I haven't gone to look at them yet. I wanted Jim to go with me but baseball was more important," she said, an edge in her tone.
"You don't need Jimmy to find a venue," Elizabeth stated; "Unless you want him there to write the check."
"I assure you that I don't want Jim to write a check," Johanna retorted. "I have a budget in mind and I'll do my best to stick to it."
"I think the budget is your damn problem," Jim said without meaning to.
"Do you need more money for the wedding, Johanna?" Robert asked. "We can contribute to the wedding; it's not a problem."
"No, we're not!" Elizabeth yelled. "Paying for the wedding is her parents job. What's the matter, Princess; didn't they give you a big budget? Your mother wants to act like your family has so much money; you'd think they could afford to give you whatever you want. What's their price limit for unloading you?"
"I don't know; we haven't discussed it," Johanna said tartly. "Not that it's any of your business."
"You haven't discussed the costs with your parents?" Elizabeth asked; a chilly smile crossing her lips. "Why is that?"
"Because it hasn't come up."
Elizabeth laughed. "They're not paying for it, are they?"
"I didn't say that."
"Oh I think you did."
"I didn't."
"I think so," Elizabeth retorted. "That's why you want Jimmy doing everything with you…you want us to pay for this damn wedding; we'll I'm telling you right now, it's not happening. If your own parents don't care enough about you to pay for it, then I suggest you two go elope somewhere because you're not getting one red cent out of us, missy."
"I don't want your damn money," Johanna shot back. "I'm so sick of hearing about your alleged money that I could scream. I'd rather scrape my eyelids on the concrete than take a dime from you."
"Johanna," Jim warned.
"Well if you don't want our money," Elizabeth went on; "Then who is paying for this wedding? Tell me right now who is footing the bill."
"I am," Johanna told her. "I'm a grown woman; I don't need my mommy and daddy paying my bills. I have my own money."
She laughed. "Oh this wedding is going to be a sight. You don't have enough money to put on some fancy wedding."
"You have no idea what I have."
"Oh I think I do," Elizabeth retorted; "I think you have parents who want to unload you but can't afford to pay for it. Your mother wanted to act so uppity at lunch, talking about family companies and having money…well your father must not have as much as either one of you claim or he'd see his daughter properly married. But then again, I didn't believe a word either one of you said; it's not like your father's company is front page news or even listed in the Wall Street Journal."
"My father is a very successful man," Johanna said, anger seeping into her tone; "And my grandfathers were successful men as well."
She scoffed. "So successful none of them can give you a wedding…sounds suspicious to me. I think you're a bunch of con artists. Your sister got hooked up to a wealthy family and now they want to strike the same deal for you. Well you're not getting anything out of us."
"My parents paid for my sister's wedding," Johanna said sharply.
"Then why aren't they paying for yours? Not enough money left over?"
"My father has more money than you do," she snapped. "My father has been working since he was thirteen years old. He not only built his own company, he's a silent partner in my grandfather's company that was left to my uncle. My father sent me to an Ivy League school and with the exception of a few scholarships, he paid every dime of my tuition, books and dorm room; plus gave me a monthly allowance. I have no college debts; my education was paid in full before my law degree was even in my hand."
"I just bet," Elizabeth scoffed. "If money isn't an issue; then why aren't they paying for your wedding? Not the favored child of your father? I couldn't blame him if that was the case."
"My relationship with my father is just fine."
"Mhmm; that's why he's not paying for your wedding."
"He didn't say he wouldn't; I just didn't ask him!" she yelled.
"Why? Because you think you're going to get handouts from here? Or that you'll pout and Jimmy will blow everything he has on it?"
"For the last time," Johanna seethed; "I don't want your money and I don't want Jim's. I've got my own money."
"No you don't; all you have is a lot of talk and nothing to show for it. You're just Brooklyn born trash, daughter of an arrogant mother and a father who clearly doesn't care enough about her to pay for her wedding. You're a nobody looking to hitch your wagon to someone who can give you a comfortable life…because daddy probably told you to marry well when you were growing up. That's probably what your parents wanted for all of their kids; to marry well so you all could ride on someone else's coattails. Your mother sat at that lunch acting like you're all so much and that she's got three little prizes; well if your brother had any gumption as a businessman, he'd go start his own business instead of being guaranteed work with your father…"
"Don't you dare talk about my brother," Johanna retorted. "My brother is great at what he does; he didn't need my father to give him a job; he took the job because he wanted it; because wants to move the company forward. You want to talk about me, that's fine, but you leave my family out of it. You don't know them so you keep your big mouth shut you charm school drop out."
Elizabeth's mouth dropped open. "Oh what?" Johanna asked; "Did you think no one would ever find out that you dropped out of charm school? Jim told me all about it."
"Johanna," Jim snapped.
"Jimmy, how dare you!" Elizabeth exclaimed.
"I was drunk; we were telling stories," he said; feeling a headache building above his eyes. "But it's the truth, you did drop out."
"And it shows," Johanna replied; "That's why every meal you host is a disaster…just like when you crashed lunch with my mother."
"I've got news for you, Princess; your mother isn't the saint you think she is…and your father doesn't own the world like you seem to think. You're all bottom of the barrel…and you're not good enough for my son."
"Don't talk about my family," Johanna warned.
"What are you going to do about it?" Elizabeth asked; "Hit me like the little heathen Italian you are? You can tell your parents weren't firm enough with you…but then again, maybe they didn't care enough to be firm…they clearly don't care enough to pay for your wedding."
"I don't need their money! And I damn sure don't want yours. I wouldn't even ask you for a dime for a payphone."
"That's good because you wouldn't get it."
"Enough!" Robert yelled. "No one has asked us for money, Lizzie."
"It's coming," she said; "And you've already offered it; well I'm telling you right now; I will be keeping track of the bank statements and not one dime better go to this farce of a wedding."
"I'd rather get married in a courtroom than take money from anyone named Beckett!" Johanna yelled. "I am so sick and tired of you and your nastiness. I am sick and tired of you thinking you know it all when you don't know a damn thing. I don't want your money. I don't want to hear about your money. All I want is for you to quit running your mouth about my family; because even on their worse day, they're worth ten of you!"
She scoffed. "I just bet. Instead of a construction business, your father should own a trash company…God knows he's produced enough of it…it's too bad he doesn't want to support it though."
"That's it, I'm done," Johanna said as she shoved her chair back from the table. "You can go straight to hell, Elizabeth Beckett."
"Johanna, shut up," Jim stated as he too rose.
"Don't you tell me what to do!" she yelled at him; "It's not your family she's calling trash, it's mine! And you just sit there and let her do it!"
"Because he knows it's true," Elizabeth remarked. "Everyone knows it. Just like we all know this wedding will be a mistake."
"That's probably how your husbands parents felt about you," Johanna retorted. "I know I wouldn't want a son of mine married to a cold hearted, classless person like you."
"You're the one without class," the older woman yelled. "I didn't have to invite you here!"
"I didn't ask you to and just so you know; I didn't want to come!" she yelled back. "Your son made me come."
"Girls, let's stop this," Robert said loudly; but it was too late, the rapid fire of words and insults continued to fly as the women stared each other down; William and Madelyn adding their two cents to the battle; egging the fight on until finally Jim rounded the table and grabbed Johanna's arm.
"Come on," he said sharply; "We're leaving, you've done enough damage."
"Me," she said; "Why don't you talk to your mother about the damage she causes!"
"She's not my problem, you are," Jim shot back. "Shut up and get in the damn car because I am done with this."
"See, Jimmy; nothing but trouble just like I told you!" Elizabeth yelled as he gripped Johanna's arm.
"You can shut up too," Jim retorted. "Because I'm sick of hearing it from both of you. Thanks for another fabulous evening; don't invite us to the next one."
"You can count on it!" his mother exclaimed.
"Let's go," Jim said, jerking Johanna along behind him. "You just had to do it."
"I didn't start it," she remarked; trying to pull her arm from his grasp but he only held it tighter as he dragged her through the house.
"No, but you sure as hell kept it going. I think you've been waiting to do it all night."
"I was doing my best to stay out of the way."
"If that was your best, I'd hate to see your worst," Jim said as he grabbed her purse from the stand and shoved it at her.
"Can you let go of me? You're hurting my arm."
"I'll let go when you're in the damn car," he retorted. "You just couldn't stop, could you?"
"It's hard to stop when someone keeps attacking you."
"You're supposed to be better…but tonight you acted just like her…and I'm getting horrible glimpses of future holidays and gatherings in my mind because the two of you can't be civil for five fucking minutes," he said, dragging her out the door. "I hope you're happy."
Tears stung her eyes; she was far from happy…she hadn't been happy in days…and she was even less so now.
"I don't know why you couldn't just ignore them," Jim said tartly. "If you would've just shut up, they might've stopped but you just had to keep feeding into it as always."
The remark chaffed Johanna's already raw feelings; as had every statement he had made on the drive home…and he had made plenty of statements that had left a sour feeling in her stomach. "I wasn't going to let them talk about my family that way," she retorted, her throat tight with emotion she didn't want to give in to.
"You played right into her hand, Johanna. You should've been smarter than that, but no, you had to fly off the handle and go right to battle and all that did was keep it going. You made a damn fool out of yourself. You gave her exactly what she wanted. It was embarrassing."
She couldn't stop the tears from breaking free and sliding down her cheeks as they arrived at her door. She dug through her purse in search of her keys as Jim continued his tirade and it only made that little voice in her head louder. Maybe they had rushed into this; after all, they had only been engaged for four months and were expected to get married in another four. Maybe they were wrong to have such a fast paced engagement…maybe they needed more time to figure things out…she needed more time to get things accomplished if they were going to have a decent wedding. It was just too much all at once, Johanna thought as she unlocked her door, her angry fiancé stalking ahead of her and into her apartment clearly eager to continue their fight behind closed doors. It seemed like they always had a fight when it came to his family…and that was another issue; one she'd prefer to be worked out before they got married but she didn't see a miracle occurring before August.
"You know, I had hoped that this time things would go better," Jim went on; "I mean she did invite you without any hinting or needling from me or Dad. I had hope…but you didn't even want to go, acted like I was taking you to an execution and then got the ball rolling by not eating…"
"You told me that I didn't have to eat if I didn't feel comfortable with it," she interrupted. "You said you understood, all things considered."
Jim blew out a breath. "On one hand I do understand…on the other, I wish you had just ate and got over that incident…then maybe she wouldn't have felt it necessary to launch her attack."
"It wasn't me; it was your father bringing up the wedding," she retorted as she wiped the tears off her cheek. "He had to go and bring up money and get her started; that's what did it!"
"And you could've just ignored it!"
"That's easy for you to say; you weren't the one being maligned! And you didn't do much speaking up for me either!"
"I just wanted you to stop so I wouldn't have to! Christ, Johanna; are you ever going to be able to sit at a table with my mother and not have a goddamn war?"
"I told you I didn't want to go in the first place," she cried.
"So we're just always supposed to go to your parents?" he asked. "How is that fair? And don't give me that sob story of your parents like me because I don't even want to hear it."
"You might not want to hear it but it's true," she replied. "Things would've been fine if the wedding hadn't been brought up. I don't know why your father's so damn concerned about the planning; it isn't like he has to do anything for it!"
"He's always concerned about everything in his kids lives," Jim retorted. "There's nothing wrong with that."
"There is when he acts like I'm trying to make you do it all!" she yelled back. "And I'm so sick of your family bringing up money in regard to me."
"He was only offering to help with the honeymoon."
"I didn't know we needed help with that."
"He didn't mean anything by it," Jim remarked; "He's just being nice. You're the one with a problem."
"Maybe I am," she murmured; her heart stinging as those doubts and worries closed in on her even more. She couldn't do this…they couldn't do this. Not yet…they needed more time.
"Johanna," he breathed; aggravation coloring his tone.
"I don't think we can do this…at least not right now," she said softly.
"Do what?"
She turned toward him, tears slipping down her cheeks. "The wedding…I think we're going too fast. I think we need to slow down."
He felt like his heart tumbled in his chest. "You don't want to marry me because of a stupid fight with my mother?"
"I want to marry you, Jim…but I think we should slow down. We're rushing like we're afraid of a long engagement…and I…I just need more time. Nothing's going right with the planning and I'm running out of time…"
"Maybe things would go better if you'd swallow your pride and ask your father if he's paying," Jim said harshly. "That's the problem, Johanna; the price tag."
Her features hardened with anger. "I don't need my daddy to pay my bills."
"You want him to pay this one though…because he paid for your sister's and I'm sure your brother got a generous wedding gift. You don't want to be left out but you're too much of a coward to ask."
"I don't need his money!" she yelled; "Just like I don't need a goddamn dime that belongs to you or your family! I told you that I'd pay for it myself…since you refused to put a penny toward it since it isn't your responsibility. I'll pay for it…I don't need anyone to pay my way!"
"Yeah," he scoffed. "I can see it now; fifty people eating a cheap meal in a small bland reception room you reserved because it was the cheapest thing you could find."
She swallowed hard. "We can't do this…we need more time to figure things out. Let's just postpone it until next August."
"We can't do that!" Jim yelled. "We already have a church; we already have the time for our honeymoon on the books at work! Are you crazy!"
"I need more time," she cried. "I can't do it all in this short amount of time especially when nothing is going the way I want. Maybe if I had more time I wouldn't feel so much pressure…and maybe I could find a way to settle things with your family so that you're not in the middle all the time. I just think we need to put this on hold…make sure we know what we want and what we're doing and…"
"No!" he thundered; "We're either getting married in August or we're done, Johanna; because I'm tired of this…first we had to call off the engagement party because you couldn't deal with it, now you want to call off the wedding well I'm done playing these games. It's August or it's over; take your pick."
She shook her head; her heart breaking. "I don't want to break up, Jim; I love you…"
"Then we're getting married in August as planned."
"I don't think we can," she said; her voice cracking. "We need more time…not just for the wedding but for us too…we need to get things straightened out with your family…they don't approve; they think our marriage is wrong…"
"It's not wrong; and if you're standing there thinking it is…well then you're just being stupid as much as I hate to say that to you!"
"It's not stupid," Johanna cried. "I don't want to be the thing that comes between you and your family. I don't want us to have the tacky wedding you clearly see us having all because I won't ask my father to pay for it. I just want it to be right…in every way; I think we need to just slow down. There's nothing wrong with slowing down, is there?"
"Yeah; there is," Jim said with a nod; "It's your way of bailing on me…I've been trying to be the best I could be for you, Johanna; I've been trying to be everything I could be so that you'd know I'd be a good husband to you."
"I know you'll be a good husband. I want you to be my husband…but I just need some more time," she told him; anguish in her voice.
"No," he said with a shake of his head. "I don't want to wait…it's August or it's nothing."
"Jim," she murmured in anguish.
"Make your choice, Johanna. Are we getting married in August or not?"
"I need more time."
"Well I don't!" he yelled. "This is stupid!"
"It's not stupid to me," she cried. "I don't want to be over but I just feel like we need to postpone the wedding so I can get everything straightened out."
"No! You're just looking for excuses! I don't need more time. I'm ready for this and I thought you were too."
"I am ready to marry you…I just need more time for the wedding and for things to feel settled…"
"You wouldn't need more time if you'd just make up your damn mind about one thing or another!"
"Maybe I could if you'd help me!"
"It's not my job! All the weddings you've been a part of planning, you'd think you'd know how to do it!"
"Well I don't!" she yelled back. "I don't know what I'm doing wrong and I'm running out of time. I don't want us to break up like you keep implying…I just want to put the wedding on hold so I can straighten things out…so we can figure out how to make things better with your family…"
"It would be fine if you'd quit taking the bait all the time! You make it so easy for her…and I think you like it that way."
"Oh, yeah, Jim; I just love knowing that your mother thinks I'm trash and that I'm not good enough for you…maybe she's right. Maybe I'm not."
"Don't be ridiculous," Jim shot back. "But it is partly your fault; you just never ignore it. You never ignore anything! You just fly off the handle and she likes that. You bring it on yourself."
"Why don't you go lecture her?" Johanna asked hotly. "Because one day she's going to want you to choose between us…"
"And I'll choose you!" he yelled.
"I don't want to be the reason that you and your mother don't speak!"
"That's never going to happen."
"It could and we both know it…and I don't want that for us. I want things to be better for us. That's why I want to slow down a little."
"No, you just want to call it off because it's not going the way you want. I'm not playing this game with you; because if I do it once, you'll do it every time I turn around and I'm not going to put up with it. You want to throw everything away because of one stupid dinner."
Anger tightened her jaw. "It's not just because of the dinner; it's everything…I keep telling you that and you won't listen. As for the dinner itself; I didn't want to go in the first place! We both know that your mother doesn't like me being in her house and I do my best to respect her wishes and stay out of her way to keep the peace. But you made me go…you had to guilt me into it…just like at Thanksgiving, I didn't want to go but you kept pushing and pushing and guilting until I gave in and went. So maybe you should take some blame for yourself! As for the wedding; you don't want to help me…you don't want to help take the pressure off of me. No, you'd rather listen to the gospel of Robert Beckett that it's all woman's work and that you shouldn't sully your hands with it! Well since his opinion matters more than me; let him keep you warm at night!"
"I thought you didn't want to break up?" Jim shot back.
"I don't!" she yelled. "You're the one trying to make it that way!"
"Because you're being ridiculous," he retorted. "Maybe your mother's right…maybe you're not interested in this; maybe that's why you can't get anything done. You did say that you'd never ask me to marry you…maybe you were okay with the thought that I was against marriage. Maybe you're not interested in marriage."
"That's a lie!" she yelled. "I love you and I want to be your wife…and I want to do it right. That's why I'm asking for more time…not an end to our relationship. Just more time to plan…more time for me to try to fix things with your family. I just want time to do better."
"Well I don't want to wait!" Jim exclaimed. "I bought the damn ring and I'm ready; so you're either on board for August like we planned or it's over, Johanna. Because I'm not doing this with you. I am not going to let you put everything on hold because of a stupid dinner and because you can't make up your damn mind about anything wedding related. So what's it's going to be? August or nothing?
"Jim; please don't do this to me," she said in anguish.
"You! What about me? What do you think you're doing to me by standing there trying to throw our marriage away over stupidity!"
"I'm not throwing it away."
"Yes, you are," he said; "Because if I say fine we'll get married next year…you'll find a reason to postpone it then too…and before we know it; it'll be ten years down the road and we'll have a kid or two and still won't be married and my mother still won't like you and it'll all be for what, Johanna? So make up your mind right now."
"Jim," she sighed; tears welling in her eyes once more. "Can we please not do this? I don't want to fight. I don't want to break up…I just want a little time, honey. I just need to figure some things out but I want to figure it out with you. I don't want us to be over."
"Then we're getting married in August as planned."
"Jim, please," she said; her voice tight with anguish and frustration.
Jim scoffed and shook his head. "You know what; since you can't make your mind up about anything in this universe, I'll make it up for you. We're done, Johanna. There, now you don't need to feel pressured. You don't have to plan anything. You don't have to look for a dress. You don't have to see my mother again. When we go to Baltimore for that trial, you can take that veil back that you bought because you don't need it. We're done. It's over. There; do you feel better now?"
The tears spilled down her cheeks. "No," she whispered as she tugged at the diamond ring on her left hand, slipping it from her finger and holding it out to him; "But I guess if I'm so easy to write off than maybe we shouldn't have been getting married in the first place. You talk about me throwing it away…you just threw me away for asking for time. You're not even trying to listen or understand," she cried. "You're just tossing me aside because I'm not being the kind of woman your father probably told you to get; docile and easy to control. This isn't what I want. I love you and I want to be with you…and I can't say I understand why you'd just rather break up than give me some time…but I guess if that's how you want it, you should take your ring."
"You took it off easy enough," Jim said gruffly.
"You just broke up with me," she cried; "Am I supposed to keep wearing it to be reminded of how easy it was for you to dump me?"
"Keep the damn ring," he said; his voice low and angry.
"I can't…it cost you a lot of money."
Jim frowned as he stared at the ring she was holding out to him. It had cost him a lot of money…but he couldn't take it. He bought it for her and it belonged with her. "You were worth it," he said angrily. "Keep it; I don't want it."
Johanna closed her hand around the ring. "Jim; can't we just stop this? Can't we just take a day or two apart and come back and talk this through without obliterating our relationship?"
"When you're ready to get all this nonsense out of your head and you're ready to get married this August; then you put the ring back on and come tell me that you're done being stupid. Until then…it's nothing. I'm done," he said as he turned and headed for the door, jerking it open and slamming it shut behind him.
Johanna stared at the closed door; her heart in pieces as she clutched her ring. She hadn't wanted this…she just wanted time…and now she had nothing. The tears began to fall rapidly; how was she going to tell her mother? How was she going to tell anyone? How was she supposed to go to work and face Jim in mere hours after he ripped her heart out? Why did everything have to be so damn complicated? Why did she have to feel so many things at once? Why did she have to be filled with doubts and worries? Maybe she really was stupid like her father had told her numerous times…like Jim had mentioned tonight.
"So damn stupid," she whispered to herself as she sobbed. She had just blown the only thing she had ever wanted. When was she ever going to learn?
In the midst of her turmoil the next afternoon, Johanna had almost forgotten that she was supposed to go to her mother's for dinner that evening so that they could discuss the menus that they had picked up. She worried her bottom lip; she couldn't go…and she just couldn't tell her that the wedding was off…not yet anyway. She knew she'd have no choice but to tell her eventually…but she didn't want to do it today; not with her heart still raw and her eyes tired and sore from crying all night. Her stomach was in knots; her head ached and she wished she could just run away somewhere but that was out of the question.
She sighed; looking down at her calendar; her appointments were done for the day and so were her court appearances. She could just call her mother…tell her that she didn't feel well. It wouldn't be really be a lie; she didn't feel well; how could she when her life was in shambles again? Dread filled her at the idea of telling her mother the truth; she didn't imagine that she'd be her usual understanding self in the midst of her wedding planning fever. She could just imagine what her father would say too. Her eyes blurred with tears and she had to swallow hard to keep them from falling. She needed to go home. With that thought in mind, she picked up the phone and dialed her mother's number.
"Hello?" Naomi answered on the third ring.
"Mom," Johanna said; doing her best to keep her tone even but it wobbled despite her best intentions.
"Johanna," her mother said in surprise. "Aren't you at work, dear?"
"I am…I'm going home early actually; that's why I was calling you. I know I was supposed to come over tonight so we could talk about the menus…and I'm not trying to put you off but I'm not really feeling well. I just want to go home and lay down."
"What's wrong, darling?" Naomi asked; concern coloring her voice.
Johanna swallowed back the tears that threatened to fall. "My stomach is upset and I have a little bit of a headache. I just don't feel good."
"You've probably got a touch of a bug," Naomi replied; "You go home and get some rest, Bambina; take something for your headache so it doesn't get worse and eat some soup and crackers to soothe your stomach."
"I'm sorry for bailing on you," she murmured, tears leaking into her voice despite her attempt to control her emotions.
"Don't worry about that," her mother soothed; "I can tell from your voice that you're not feeling well. You can't help that. Hopefully you'll be over this bug by the weekend and we can discuss the menus then."
"I hope I'm over it by then too," Johanna replied; although she wouldn't hold out much hope for that.
"I'll let you go, dear; so you can get home and lay down for awhile. Is Jim going to take you home?"
Her heart stung as her eyes closed. "No…he has a meeting that he can't leave. He's letting me take the car," she lied.
"Well I'm sure he'll be over to check on you when he gets off work," her mother said with confidence.
"Of course he will," she said; hating how many lies were slipping from her lips. "I'll talk to you later, Mama. I love you."
"I love you too, dear; feel better soon."
Johanna ended the call and wiped the stray tears from her cheeks as she gathered up her belongings. Once she had everything she needed, she turned off the lights in her office and slipped out the door. "I'm going home, Sharon; if something important comes up, call me. If it can wait, don't."
"You should wait and ask Jim to take you home; then you can tell him you were just being crazy and put an end to this before word leaks out that your back on the market."
"No, I'm not doing that. It's probably better for us to have space today," she replied. "Besides, he's angry. He's not going to want to drive me anywhere."
"He would if you told him that you don't want to postpone the wedding. I can't believe you even did that after all the trouble you went through to land him."
"I didn't ask to break up," Johanna hissed. "I only asked to put the wedding on hold for the moment. He's the one who ended it completely. I only asked for time."
"You wouldn't need more time if you wouldn't have gotten so far behind. Honestly, Jo; you just keep putting things off and you can't make up your mind about the things you do try to do. We haven't even looked at bridesmaids dresses…and I really hope that if we ever do, you'll go with pink for the gowns and not turquoise. I hate turquoise. I can't even believe you picked those colors in the first place."
"Yeah; well, I don't recall asking for your opinion of my color scheme," Johanna said tartly. "After all, it is my wedding and not yours."
"That may be but your colors are hideous."
"I thought your dull drab autumn colors were hideous. Forest green wasn't my idea of a great dress color, just so you know. I'm only using the pink for flowers and accents…unlike your orange flowers mixed in with those ugly sunflowers. But I didn't say anything about it; that's what you liked and what you wanted."
"At least I had flowers and a wedding," Sharon retorted in offense. "You just blew your chance. I can't believe you'd be so stupid."
Johanna's jaw tightened; the second person in twenty-four hours to tell her she was stupid. "Yeah…and I can't believe I'm still stupid enough to call you my friend…because half the time you aren't one. You've really changed over the last few years, Sharon; and it's not for the better."
"Maybe you need to do some changing," Sharon told her. "You're going to lose everything you ever wanted because you can't crawl out of that black pit in your damn head that you always fall into."
Anger flickered within her. "You know what, Sharon; go to hell. You think you know it all about everything and you don't know anything. I get so sick and tired of you preaching at me, acting like you know how to run my life. You're worse than my mother…and I don't need mothering from you or lectures or your clinical diagnosis of my brain that you're not qualified to give. I'd just one day like for you to be the friend you used to be…the one who didn't judge…the one that was supportive…that used to ask how she could help instead of lecturing and acting like she's an authority on life when she doesn't have it anymore together than the rest of us. Let me know when you find that person; in the meantime, keep your mouth shut about the wedding being off; I don't want everyone knowing right now. Do you think you can do that?"
"Yes," Sharon said tersely. "But I resent some of the things you said."
"I don't really care at the moment…and hey, look at the bright side, you don't have to drop out of the wedding to get even since it's off at the moment," Johanna said before turning and heading for the door, slipping into the hallway with a sigh of relief as Sharon didn't call after her.
She was grateful that the hallway was empty; something that didn't happen too many times during the day and she prayed it would stay that way until she was out of the building. She didn't want to see or talk to anyone; there were already rumblings that she and Jim had had a fight but no one knew about their broken engagement except for Sharon, Maggie and Jeff…and most likely Phil. She hoped it would stay that way as she jabbed the button for the elevator, praying it would be empty as well.
The doors slid open and she breathed deeply as she stepped inside, finding solitude in being alone as the doors closed. She didn't want to face her friends and coworkers…and yet she yearned for comfort. Usually Jim was the one to comfort her…but that wasn't going to happen. Her mother was always her next choice after Jim and yet she couldn't go to her either…not yet. Sharon was out of the question as she had just given her a full demonstration on how unsupportive she was. Maggie had already offered words of support and she was sure she'd continue to do so…but she needed something more and she had to figure out who to get that from.
The elevator dinged, the doors sliding open and in that instant she knew the universe was truly against her as she found herself looking into Jim's face. Tears automatically sprang to her eyes and she forced herself to blink them back as she stepped off the elevator; feeling his eyes burning into her. They had only had one brief run-in in the breakroom that morning where they had ignored each other…which had tipped off their friends about their newest discord.
"Where are you going?" Jim asked; his tone quiet but tense.
"Home," she murmured.
Jim glanced at his watch. "At two-thirty in the afternoon?"
"I don't feel good," she replied.
He laid a hand against her forehead. "No fever."
"You don't have to run a fever to not feel well."
Jim nodded. "You'd probably feel better if you had a ring on your finger…but you know how that goes."
"Jim," she sighed. "I didn't want us to be over…and I didn't say that I don't want to marry you; I do. I want it more than anything. I want to be with you. I didn't break up with you; you broke up with me."
"I gave you a choice," he replied. "You didn't want to take the right one."
"You're the one who made the choice for me," she reminded him; "It wasn't the one I wanted."
"Then you want to get married in August?" he asked.
"Does it have to be this August?" she asked. "Could it be next August?"
"No," Jim replied. "This August."
"Jim…"
He shook his head. "Why can't you just do this like we planned, Johanna? We already figured out where we were living, whose furniture to keep. We talked about having our first year to ourselves before even thinking of trying for a baby. We figured out the stuff other couples end up clashing over after the wedding before we even got the wedding planned. Why are you doing this?"
"I just feel…"
"You feel what?"
"Overwhelmed," she admitted.
"With what?" he asked tartly. "You haven't really done anything."
"I know…that's why I'm overwhelmed; because I can't find what I want, you won't help me, I'm running out of time and I constantly have people reminding me of that; from my mother to Sharon and even your father. Your mother is so against us that it isn't even funny anymore and I…I'm just overwhelmed, Jim; and I keep trying to tell you that but you won't listen. I don't want us to be apart; I just wanted us to slow down the wedding stuff. I need more time."
"You didn't give me more time when you wanted me to give in and move our relationship from friends to dating."
Johanna scoffed. "I gave you three years, Jim."
"Well I'm not giving you three years," he retorted. "You know what I told you; August or nothing."
She nodded. "Yeah, I remember…I've had it ringing in my ears all night."
"Do you think I haven't had it ringing in mine?" he asked. "Do you think I went into last night thinking that we were going to be done before midnight?"
"I didn't ask to be done."
"No…you just don't want to marry me."
"I do," she sighed. "What do I have to do to convince you of that?!"
"Marry me," he retorted; "Just like I asked you to do in December. Marry me in August and I'll be convinced."
Her head throbbed and she ached to tuck herself against his chest; to have his arms around her and yet she knew better than to attempt it. He'd probably push her away and he'd have every right to. "I don't want to keep fighting right now, Jim. I didn't want to fight at all," she said softly.
He blew out a heavy breath; he wished they hadn't fought but it felt like things were too far gone to change course now…and he realized that he had felt that way Monday night as well when she had sent him home. Tensions had been rising for days; she claimed to be overwhelmed and maybe he had made everything worse which would only ensure that she wouldn't marry him and all his hopes and dreams that had felt so right and good were going to fizzle and die…all because of his damn mother and stupid plans that couldn't go right. Frustration tightened his jaw as he took in the familiar squint of her eyes that told him that she had a headache. "Take the car," he muttered. "I'll pick it up later."
Johanna shook her head. "I can't do that."
"Why not?"
"Because we're not…" she trailed off, not wanting to say the words.
"Because we're not what?"
"Because were not together…although it's not what I wanted," she murmured. "It's not right for me to borrow your car now. I should give you back the key."
"No," he said sternly. "I gave it to you and you're keeping it…because one way or another, you're going to marry me, Johanna. Once you quit being bullheaded that is. Now take the damn car and go home or I'm going to be even madder than I already am."
"Jim," she said, tears and anguish leaking into her voice.
Despite his anger, he reached for her, pulling her into his arms for a moment. "Just take the car; you'll get home faster. When you get there, take something for your headache and go to bed for awhile. I'll have Jeff drive me over to get the car after work. Don't argue; just do it; okay?"
It wasn't worth fighting over, Johanna thought to herself as she nodded against his shoulder. "Alright."
"Maybe after your nap, you can put your ring on and call and tell me you're ready to get married."
She sighed deeply. "Jim."
He frowned, his hold tightening on her. "I just don't understand what changed your mind. I know my mother is hard to take but I didn't ever think you'd let her win," he said bitterly.
"I didn't say that I don't want to get married. I said I want more time."
"It feels like the same thing."
"It's not."
"It is," he said, pulling away from her as anger coursed through his veins. "We both know it is."
Johanna shook her head. "It's not. I just want time to figure things out."
"We already had it figured out," Jim retorted. "You just need to figure out what you want. You want marriage and then you don't…"
Fury snapped in her eyes. "For the last time," she said firmly; "I didn't say I didn't want to marry you. I do. I didn't even want to break up; you did that."
"Because I keep hoping it'll make you wake up and realize what you're doing," he retorted. "I just don't know what's wrong with you right now."
"I told you!" she hissed.
"No, you just gave me a bunch of excuses."
"You know what; I'm not doing this again today," Johanna said tiredly. "I'm going home; and don't worry; I'm leaving your car right here in the parking lot."
"You're breaking up with my car too?" Jim asked.
"I didn't break us up, you did!"
"Because you won't marry me!"
"I will!"
"Is it going to be in August?"
"I don't know," she murmured; feeling like everyone kept trying to push her back against the wall.
"Well when you figure it out, let me know…that is if you don't wait too long," Jim retorted.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Johanna shot back.
"It means I'm not going to just sit around and wait forever, Johanna."
Tears pricked her eyes. "Do you have a replacement lined up?"
His jaw tightened. "Of course not."
"Thinking about lining one up?"
"No," he snapped; "But I want you to get over this thing and get back to how we were. I want us to get married. If you just put your ring back on and say you'll marry me in August, I'll never make you eat dinner with my mother again."
"I can't just avoid your mother for the rest of her life, Jim. Believe me, I wish I could but it's not possible and it's not fair to you."
"No, this isn't fair to me," Jim retorted. "But I don't think you care."
"I do care…but I feel like some things haven't been fair to me lately either and you don't seem to care about that," she said angrily; "And you know what, I am taking your car just because you haven't listened to a damn thing I said last night!"
"Good, take it," he retorted. "And I did listen!"
"You didn't," Johanna replied as she moved to turn away.
"Be careful with my car; it's the only thing I have left that still loves me," Jim told her.
She turned back and eyed him. "You know I love you, you jackass. I'll take perfect care of your car…at least it didn't break up with me."
Jim clamped his mouth shut as she headed for the door; how did his life spiral out of control like this? Just when he thought everything was figured out and perfect, it had to crash and burn. Why? He blew out a breath…because of his damn mother that was why…and since his father had been mentioned the night before; it was his fault too. This was all their fault…and after he picked up his car; he was going to inform them of it.
Anger was still coursing through Jim's veins that evening after he picked up his car from in front of Johanna's building. He had fought the urge to make the trek to her door; after all, what was the point? She had changed her mind and he wasn't sure how to convince her to change it back. He should've never made her go to that damn dinner; he thought to himself as she he shoved his key into the lock of his parents door. His jaw tightened as he swung the door open and stepped inside, slamming it shut behind him; knowing how much his mother hated for the door to be slammed. Well that was too bad for her he thought as he stalked off in the direction of the dining room, figuring he'd find his parents there. Sure enough they were at the table, their dinner in front of them.
"James Robert," Elizabeth said firmly; "Did you slam my door?"
"Yes, I did," he said tartly. "And I don't care if you like it or not."
"Jimmy," his father said; a note of warning in his voice. "Is there a problem?"
"Yes, there's a problem," Jim replied. "And it's the two of you!"
"James Robert," his mother exclaimed; "Just what is your problem? If it's about last night, I invited your little tramp to dinner, what more do you want?"
"I wanted you to be nice!" he yelled; "But no; you had to start on her."
"She started it by refusing to eat the food that I didn't have to give her," Elizabeth declared.
"Can you blame her!" he exclaimed. "Think about the last time she ate here…and went home with hives and throwing up because you used her allergy against her."
"Oh get over it," his mother said as she picked up her forkful of potatoes. "She's just an overly dramatic little brat and I won't ever invite her again so don't even think of asking ever again."
"You don't have to worry about it!" Jim yelled.
"Jimmy," his father stated; "Stop yelling at your mother."
"No," he retorted; "I'm here to yell at both of you and you're just going to have to deal with it just like I have to deal with the fact that between the two of you, you cost me a wife!"
A moment of silence fell over the table as his parents stared at him. "What are you talking about?" Robert asked.
"I'm talking about the fact that the wedding is off," Jim said angrily. "By the time I got Johanna home last night, she had made up her mind to call off the wedding. We fought and she took the ring off and we broke up. So I hope you two are happy!"
Elizabeth smiled. "Thank God; now that nightmare is over. She wasn't the right girl for you anyway, Jimmy. We'll find you someone good and decent…Helen Crawford is still available and she's just right for you."
"No, she's just right for you," he said angrily; "And you're not going to find me a damn thing. I already found the woman who is right for me but thanks to all of you, you ran her off."
"Jimmy," Robert said slowly; "I know things went badly last night but why do you think we ran her off."
"Because she told me so!" he yelled. "You just had to bring up the goddamn wedding planning and money which got Mom started on her bunch of bullshit and Johanna just can't take it anymore. So thank you both very much for ruining my life!"
"Son, calm down," his father said as he watched him pace the length of the table. "I only asked how the planning was going to show interest…"
"Yeah; and then you had to make comments about how she's not getting things done fast enough and when she mentioned that I don't help her, you had to make the comment about how that's her job and she shouldn't be asking me to do her work. You had to keep harping on it and she gets enough of that from her own mother! Then you had to bring up giving us money for the honeymoon and get your wife started!"
"I was only offering a gift," Robert replied; "I thought it might help you out and it's only natural for us to want to know how the planning is going. After all, the groom's family is supposed to take care of the rehearsal dinner…"
"Oh no we weren't," Elizabeth stated. "I never did approve of this so called marriage and not one dime of my money was going toward it."
"It's our money," Robert told her; "And we will do our share."
"No; we're not!"
"Of course not!" Jim yelled; "Because there is no wedding now! You just had to ruin things. Just like when you wanted to chaperone my prom! I didn't go to that because of you and now I'm not getting married because of you."
"Jimmy," his father said gently; "I'm sure that if you just give Johanna a few days to calm down, she'll come to her senses and this will all be resolved."
Elizabeth shook her head. "Just let her go, Jimmy; she's nothing but trouble. You can do better than her."
"No; she can do better than me," he retorted; "But I don't want her to find someone better and I don't want anyone else!"
"I'm sure this is just a little misunderstanding," Robert remarked. "She just has a case of cold feet. She'll come around."
Jim shook his head. "She's convinced that we shouldn't get married…she doesn't want to come between me and the two of you…and she's sure that Mom will ask me to choose one day and she told me, she doesn't want to be the reason why we don't speak. She knows this family doesn't like her…I mean you all keep making it so obvious. Mom doesn't want her in the house, has given her food she's allergic to, sent Michael to crash our vacation, told her mother our private business, talks badly about her family. Michael and Natalie and the kids wouldn't be a part of our wedding because they don't want to hear Mom bitch about it; William called her names without even knowing her. Madelyn can't seem to make up her mind if she wants to be nice to her or not and I know that's Mom's influence. Dad wants to act like he should be telling us how to spend our money and how to plan the wedding and who should do what and when to do it. So I guess I can't really blame her for taking a hard look at this family last night and deciding she doesn't want any part of it," he said angrily; an irrational kick of emotion tinging his voice.
"Jimmy," his father said gently. "It'll work out; couples go through these moments; it's not so unusual."
"That's easy for you to say; you have a wife! I have nothing now! And I'm telling you both right now; if I can't get her back; we're done. I've had it with this damn family and their high and mighty ways. No one can ever just let anyone be happy; no, everyone has to stick their nose in their business, meddle, give their opinions that no one fucking asked for; and yes, mother, I said that word in your presence and I don't care if you're offended! Because here's a clue for both of you; if I don't ask for your two cents on how to run my life; chances are, I don't fucking want it!"
"Don't you speak to me that way!" Elizabeth exclaimed. "We give you our opinions so you know when you're screwing things up!"
"I don't want your damn opinion!" he yelled. "It's my life to screw up; so I'll thank you both to stay the hell out of my business!"
"Jimmy, you need to calm down son," Robert stated; "I know you're upset and you're not being very rational right now…but it's just a case of cold feet, that's all. It's perfectly normal for someone to get cold feet at some time during the engagement process…it's usually the man, but it's not unheard of for women and I'm sure that's all it is. You can't blame it all on us."
"Yes, I can," Jim remarked. "If she felt welcomed into this family maybe she wouldn't worry so much about coming between us. Maybe if I didn't let you get in my head so much, we would've went on our weekend getaway in February and it would've relaxed her before she had to start planning. Maybe if I didn't let you get in my head so much, I would've been more of a help to her and she wouldn't have cold feet! She even made the comment last night that your opinion seems to matter more to me than her feelings. Well that ends now…that is if I ever get her back!"
"For God's sake, Jimmy; she's not worth all this fuss," Elizabeth stated. "If she really wanted to get married, she would've done had the wedding mostly planned and had it paid for…but no; she's barely done anything and she's waiting on you to pay for it since her own father doesn't care enough to do it…or doesn't have as much money as she wants to claim."
"Johanna's father owns a very successful business," Jim seethed; "He's got plenty of money."
"Then why isn't he paying for the wedding?"
"He never said he wasn't; she just won't ask him!"
"Why not!" his mother yelled.
"Because she's not that kind of person! She doesn't look for handouts!" Jim yelled.
"Then who's going to pay for it?" Elizabeth demanded to know. "Because it sure as hell isn't going to be us."
"She said she was paying for it!"
"Oh please," his mother scoffed. "With what? She doesn't have anything. I don't care if she is a lawyer, she can't afford to pay for a wedding without help."
He was so angry…hurt and frustrated and they didn't even look like they cared that his life was shattered; nor did they care that it had been shattered by his own hand by forcing her to go to that damn dinner the night before…by not helping her when she asked…by not seeing that she was starting to get overwhelmed with wedding plans that weren't working out the way she wanted. It all felt so hopeless and his parents didn't care…they just kept sitting there; calmly eating their dinner…unconcerned about how he had lost the only thing he wanted. It wasn't even worth saying anything else to them; what was the point? They didn't accept their part of the blame; didn't care that he was hurting…that Johanna was hurt. They just didn't care and he was wasting his time. He couldn't stay there another minute; he had to go…he had to think of a way to fix things; had to think of a way to make her marry him. With that thought in mind, he turned away from the table and headed for the doorway.
"Jimmy; where are you going?" his father asked.
"What do you care?" he spat. "You don't care that you two are part of the reason Johanna doesn't want to marry me anymore. You just barely batted an eye at it. I'm going home; and you two can pop open your champagne and celebrate that she's not joining the family."
"We do care, Jimmy," Robert stated.
"I don't," Elizabeth replied; "I'm glad it's done and I hope you'll get over her and move on to something better."
"That's enough, Lizzie," Robert told her. "We want you to be happy, Jimmy; and I'm sure this thing with Johanna will get worked out and everything will be fine. If I somehow hurt her feelings, I didn't mean to…and I never meant to make you feel like I was telling you how to live your life. I've always liked Johanna."
"Yeah, well, she doesn't think you do lately. Her family accepted me, they treat me like I've always been there…and then I bring her into this…where she's treated like a peasant and made to feel like she's not good enough. I wouldn't want to marry into this family either…hell, I don't even know if I want to be in it anymore."
"Jimmy," his father said consolingly. "It's going to be alright, son."
"No, it isn't," he retorted before storming from the room. It didn't feel like anything was ever going to be alright again. He just wanted her back…he just wanted to be with her and yet he couldn't go to her; not after the way things had gone that afternoon in the lobby at work. He had to give her a little space before he made things even worse…and he had to think up a plan to win her back; because he couldn't let her go…no matter what his mother thought.
That evening, a knock at her door made Johanna's heart leap in hopes that it was Jim coming to say that he had changed his mind about breaking up. It wasn't what she wanted; she hadn't wanted this at all…she just needed a time out…needed to slow down; sort out all the thoughts that ran through her head with the force of a raging river that was ready to spill over. She just needed a little more time…but she hadn't wanted to lose him in the process. A second knock sounded and she hurried to the door, pulling it open to find Maggie on the other side instead of the person she wanted.
Her friend gave her a sympathetic smile. "I know; I'm not the person you were hoping for," Maggie told her.
"Don't say that; I'm always happy to see you," Johanna replied as she allowed her in.
"It's only the truth," Maggie replied. "I'm not offended; I know you would've rather found Jim at the door. It's only natural."
"Yeah; well, it's not going to happen," she remarked as she retook her place on the sofa. After all, he hadn't even come to her door when he had picked up his car.
Maggie settled down on the other side of the sofa. "I know you gave me and Sharon the abridged version of what happened when we were in your office this morning but I figured it was time to get the whole story."
Johanna blew out a soft breath and told her everything that had happened and everything she had been feeling.
"Jo, you don't need to postpone the wedding. We'll get everything done," Maggie soothed. "All we have to do is pick a few things at a time to concentrate on in small set segments of time. Like we pick three things and have two weeks to get those things accomplished so we can move on to the next set of goals."
"That sounds great…but also impossible," Johanna said tearfully; "Because no matter what I pick to focus on, it doesn't go right or I can't make up my mind or everyone hates whatever idea I have for it. I just can't seem to get it right."
"I haven't hated any of your ideas," Maggie replied.
"No…but my mother has…and Sharon hates my colors and keeps bringing up which color she thinks I should use for bridesmaids dresses and other little things I've mentioned."
"Who cares what Sharon thinks? Tell her to shut up…as for your mother, it's not her wedding. She already had hers, this one is yours. You have yourself under so much pressure to do it all quickly and it doesn't have to be that way. We've got time, we'll get it done."
"You're the only one who thinks so," she cried.
"I'm sure I'm not…and I understand that things went badly with Jim's family last night but they're not a good reason to give up your wedding either. I mean I totally understand that it was the straw that broke the camel's back last night…but don't let them win like that."
"It's hard not to," Johanna admitted. "They don't like me and I hate when Jim is caught in the middle. I know it hurts him."
"Not being with you hurts him too," Maggie replied; "Believe me, he's looked miserable all day…just as miserable as you've looked."
"I know," she murmured. "I told him I didn't want to break up; he's the one that took it to that extreme."
"I know…but you know how Jim is when he feels like he's been backed into a corner."
Johanna nodded. "Felt like I was backed into a corner Monday night and then again last night when he was saying August or nothing."
"He thought you'd panic and say August…when you didn't do what he thought, he had no choice but to follow through."
"He could've chosen to listen."
Maggie smiled. "Now when do men ever do that when the fight is on?"
"Never, I guess," Johanna admitted; "But I didn't think it would get this far. We've been doing so good…and lately he just doesn't listen when I'm saying that I'm frustrated. He just says I'm making it more complicated than it has to be…and maybe I am but I don't know what to do…and he doesn't want to help me."
"You have other people who will help you," Maggie told her. "As the on-hold maid of honor; it's part of my job to help you."
"I know; and you have been…it's just…sometimes I want Jim's opinion too since it's his wedding as much as mine."
"Men don't care like we do."
"Yeah; I've noticed," Johanna replied. "I guess I don't have to worry about it now."
Maggie shook her head. "Don't go thinking that way. You know you two are going to get back together…you're going to get married…in August, the way you're supposed to."
"And what am I supposed to do about his family?" she asked.
"I don't know," her friend admitted; "But I know you can't let them do this to you. Jim loves you and that's all that matters. His mother is just a bitch…you can take her."
"I'm tired of taking her."
"Tired enough to give up Jim?"
"No, of course not…but I have to find a way to co-exist with her or she's going to make us miserable."
"Only if you let her."
"I think she's already succeeded."
"Because you let her," Maggie stated.
Johanna breathed deeply; she knew Maggie was just trying to make her feel better and trying to encourage her to end this discord quickly but it wasn't working like either of them hoped. "I know…somehow she always wins."
"She won't win if you marry Jim."
"I didn't say that I didn't want to marry him…I just wanted to slow down and have some more time to get the wedding straightened out."
"I know…but I don't think you would've asked if it hadn't been for what happened last night at dinner; now would you?"
She shrugged. "I don't know…I can't say I wouldn't have because the pressure has been building in regard to the planning. I didn't want this…but I have some things to think through. I need to figure out how to do this…make my peace with his family hating me. I just have some things to work out."
"I get that," Maggie said with a nod; "I just hope that you can get things worked out soon because I want you to be happy…and I know you're not happy without Jim."
Tears filled her eyes. "I'm not…and I hope I can work it out soon too."
"You will," her friend said with conviction; "And we'll get everything planned and taken care of…and you'll be a beautiful bride. You'll see."
"I guess we will," Johanna murmured; but she wasn't as sure of it as Maggie seemed to be.
"They didn't even care," Jim muttered over his drink as he sat next to Jeff at the bar. "They barely even batted an eye when I told them that she called off the wedding."
"You know how parents are," Jeff told him; "They figure you're making a big deal out of something that will blow over in a few days."
"I don't think it's going to blow over in a few days," he said after taking a sip of his drink. "I wish it would…but she doesn't want to marry me."
"From what you told me, she didn't say that. She just wants to have a little more time to plan the wedding."
"I don't want more time."
"Of course not, you're not the one planning the wedding," Jeff remarked. "Women get crazy planning weddings; we've seen Jo go through wedding planning before; this shouldn't even be a surprise."
"Surprised the hell out of me," Jim stated.
"I know, buddy; but it'll work out. Jo loves you; she's not going to let you go that easy after all the work she did to get you hooked."
"She took off her ring fast enough."
"Heat of the moment," Jeff stated. "Besides; she told you she didn't want to break up…you did that part."
"I know!" he exclaimed.
His friend nodded. "What did you do that for?"
"Because I'm stupid," Jim replied; "I gave her exactly what she wanted; a way out…because I was so damn mad and she's crying and wanting to postpone things and I can just see that she changed her mind because of everything that happened at dinner…and I thought if I gave her an ultimatum it would make her stop…but you know; it kind of backfired."
"No offense, my friend, but most of your plans do backfire when it comes to fighting with Sassy…it's like your special talent," Jeff quipped.
Jim glared at him. "Thanks."
Jeff smiled. "It's going to be fine; this is just a little bump in the road. Better to have it now than two weeks before the wedding."
Jim scoffed. "It'll probably take me until the date of the wedding to get her back and then it'll be too late to plan anything and we'll have to wait like she wanted…oh my God, you don't think that's what she's doing do you?"
"No!" Jeff exclaimed; "Sassy doesn't want to spend months apart. She's just a little freaked out right now that's all; she's going crazy with planning and then you took her into the lion's den and allowed her to get mauled by the head lioness."
"Don't remind me," he muttered before taking another drink. "She didn't want to go and I made her."
"Why did you do that?"
"Because I'm stupid enough to keep hoping that my mother is going to come around and accept things. She invited her so I thought it would be okay…but she only did it to guarantee I'd show up for William's dinner. She played me…just like always."
His friend nodded. "Mothers…they never change the game and yet we always fall in the trap."
"Yeah…and they enjoy it too. She told me to just let Johanna go and move on…she was happy."
"Well we'll show her," Jeff said; "We'll just get you and Jo married and that'll teach her."
"There's only one problem with that."
"What?"
"Jo doesn't want to marry me now," he replied.
"Yes, she does…just give her a day or two to get settled down then go get her back."
"You make it sound so easy."
"It is," Jeff stated; "You just go in there and say 'look, babe; this is how it is, we're getting married, so go buy a dress, pick some flowers and let's get this show on the road'."
"And then she'll punch me and throw me out of her apartment," Jim remarked. "Not exactly the wedding vibe I was going for. It's not a honeymoon vibe either…I was looking forward to the honeymoon…I was going to be able to get the details all settled next week…make her dream come true and take her to Hawaii. I had a beautiful hotel on the beach picked out; the best suite with the best views. It was going to be perfect."
"It still can be; you're not going to let it go that easily, are you?"
"No," Jim said with a sigh; "But I have to think of a plan to get her back…and you know I suck at that."
"That can't be true or you wouldn't have gotten her back the last two times you were on the outs."
"It didn't come easily."
"Oh I know; especially last May; Jesus Christ I didn't think you were ever going to get it together…wait…matter of fact, it was her plan that got you back together then," Jeff remarked. "You kept blowing all the plans we came up with."
Jim nodded. "Yeah…that's true…and I don't think trapping her in the elevator is going to work any better than it did the last time."
"We're going to have to think of something better and you're going to have to try harder not to blow it."
Jim blew out a breath; "Yeah, I know…I just hope it's quick and that it works…because I don't want it to be this way."
"I know, buddy; it'll work out. She's just upset and you flew off the handle…it can be fixed. I'm sure she wants to fix it just as much as you do."
"I hope so," he murmured; but he wasn't sure he was as convinced of it as Jeff was…but no matter how hopeless it felt, he had to find a way. He just needed a plan…needed to get them back on track and that ring back on her finger before people started to think that he had relinquished his claim…because that was never going to happen.
…to be continued