I'm so sorry for the delay in updating. For those of you who don't read any of my other fics, my grandmother, who I lived with and cared for, died suddenly and unexpectedly the night that I posted the last chapter. As I'm sure you can imagine, writing fic has been the last thing on my mind, but I feel like I'm starting to get back in my stride, and, whilst I can't promise weekly updates will be a thing again, I will be updating when I can.

For those of you asking for Faberry, sorry, its not going to happen in this fic.

And for those of you who wanting more Rachel/Shelby moments, most of this chapter is just the two of them, and then the chapter after the next one will (hopefully) just be the two of them too.

Shelby didn't question Rachel, she knew that if Rachel said she wanted to read the letter that she'd have given it more than enough thought, she'd be sure it was what she wanted. "Okay" she stood from the couch and went to fetch the letter from where she'd hidden it, not wanting Rachel to find it accidentally. "Do you want me to stay while you read it?" she asked once Rachel was holding the envelope, the teen still standing in the doorway to the room and Shelby wasn't sure if she wanted to read it alone in her room.

Rachel nodded, "yes please" she whispered as she held the envelope like it was about to burst into flames, unable to look away.

"Come on" Shelby led Rachel over to the couch, not at all surprised that Rachel chose to curl herself right into her side. She moved Rachel into a more comfortable position, Rachel not complaining when she found herself being cradled, almost like a baby, in her Mom's arms.

They sat in silence for a while, Rachel repetitively running her finger along the seal of the envelope until she finally spoke, "I, I don't know if I can do it" she mumbled, "I want, I want to read it but I... I…"

"I can tell you what it says?" Shelby offered as she held Rachel closely, gently rubbing circles on her back to try and keep her calm.

Rachel shook her head, she trusted Shelby, she knew she wouldn't lie to her but at the same time, she wanted to read her father's words for herself, she needed to be certain that Shelby wasn't hiding anything from her. "I, I…"

Shelby understood she'd probably want to read the letter for herself if she was in Rachel's position, "what if I read it to you then?" she suggested, "I'll hold it where you can see it."

"You, you'd read it to me?" Rachel twisted to look up at her Mom.

"Yeah" Shelby tucked Rachel's hair behind her ears, "if that's what you want." Rachel nodded and Shelby took the envelope from her, taking out the single sheet of paper, holding it where Rachel could see as she began to read "Shelby. I wouldn't blame you if you threw this away right now. But please, at least keep reading for a little while. I've been thinking about getting in touch for a while. Initially I thought about writing to Rachel but I thought this way would be better, I thought if I got in touch with you, you could decide whether to show her this. Whether to tell her about it, or just to pretend it never happened…"

Rachel didn't take her eyes off the letter as Shelby read, she trusted her Mom, but she wanted to be sure she was reading everything. She shook her head when she heard Shelby's voice catch in her throat, stumbling over her words as she reached the part of the letter where Leroy mentioned the fire. Rachel already knew what her father's had planned to do, Leroy had admitted to everything when he'd been arrested and Shelby had been honest with Rachel, she'd spoken to Alice about it and, together, they'd spoken about it in Rachel's therapy sessions, and, as horrible as it was, Rachel had learned to just be grateful that she'd been taken to Shelby's instead. "You can stop" Rachel whispered, shifting slightly so she could wipe away the tears Shelby had been unable to hold back.

"I'm sorry" Shelby whispered as she wiped at her eyes, "I just, I hate the thought that I could have lost you before I even got to know you."

"I, I'm glad he brought me here" Rachel wiped at Shelby's cheeks, "I, I didn't know that he got hurt too, I, I remember him breaking his shoulder but I didn't, I did know how it happened, and I, I didn't know he'd tried to bring me here before." She looked up at Shelby, "do you think that's really what happened?"

"I don't know baby" Shelby kissed Rachel's hair, "I wish I did but I don't, unfortunately, the only people that really know the truth are Hiram and Leroy."

"I, I don't know what to think" Rachel admitted, "I don't…"

"And that's okay" Shelby held Rachel a little tighter, "I don't know how to feel either, I can't imagine what this must be like for you, but we can talk things through with your therapist, you have an appointment next week, you can talk this through with Alice."

Rachel looked up at Shelby, once again reaching out to wipe her Mom's tears," do you…" she paused, not sure if she was stepping over any lines when she asked her, "do you… do you talk to anyone? This… I know it upsets you too Mom, and I, I know you try to hide that from me but I, I, you always tell me talking about things helps…"

Shelby smiled and tucked Rachel's hair behind her ear, she couldn't believe that after everything, her daughter was so kind and caring, "I talk to Nana" she told her, "or Aunt Amy, I, I try not to tell them too much because a lot of things are your business and it's not for me to share them, but I do talk to them."

"You can tell them" Rachel told Shelby as Jasper jumped up onto her lap, "Nanna and Auntie Amy, you can tell them things, I, they're our family, I, I trust them, I know, I know they'll understand and they won't, they won't judge me or… you can tell them. "

Shelby had to fight back more tears at Rachel's words, "You've got no idea how much it means to hear you calling them our family, and you're right, they would never, ever judge you, and whatever you, or I, tell them, will stay with them, Nanna won't tell Amy, Amy won't tell Nanna, Nanna won't tell Grampy, but I still… what you've been through is your story, not mine and it should be your decision who knows about it."

"I appreciate that" Rachel nodded, "but I, I believe you when you say it won't become gossip, so if you need someone, if you need to tell someone what's going on, then you don't have to ask Mom. You can talk to Nana or Auntie Amy if you need to."

Shelby snuggled closer to Rachel, in no doubt that her daughter would be sharing her bed that night, that the two of them would probably continue this conversation later, Rachel always more willing to open up in the darkness of the bedroom, "I'll bear that in mind, thank you."

Rachel hated knowing her Mom was upset, rationally she knew she wasn't to blame, that her Mom was upset by the things her fathers had done to her, but she still felt like she was to blame. She briefly thought about talking about that guilt with her therapist and then realised what a big step that was for her. She was beginning to accept that her guilt wasn't rational and that she didn't actually have a reason to feel guilty, beginning to realise that what happened to her, and the aftermath of her abuse, wasn't her fault. "I love you Mom." Rachel was also aware that this change to her thought process was probably due to the love and reassurance her Mom had given her over the past few months.

Shelby smiled, the same way she always did when she heard those four words from her daughter, and her reply felt almost like an instinct now, there was no other way she could respond, "I know, I love you too baby, so, so much."

It came as no surprise to Shelby that Rachel seemed a little clingy over the next couple of days, it was almost like she needed a constant reminder that her Momma was there, that she wasn't going to be hurt, or abandoned again.

Although Noah was the only one who knew what had happened, Rachel's friends rallied round to support her during school, they realised that she needed them and they were there, but outside of school, Rachel was like Shelby's shadow.

"Hey" Shelby smiled when she saw Liv appear in the doorway to her classroom on Wednesday lunch time, "everything okay?" she gestured for her to come in and the blonde smiled, moving to sit on the edge of Shelby's desk.

"Everything's fine, but I've got a bit of a strange question for you."

Shelby put down her pen and raised an eyebrow, "go on…"

"I was meant to be going on a date on Friday night." Liv told her, "I've got a table booked at a nice restaurant, tickets for the theatre, the whole nine yards."

"Liv" Shelby grinned, "that sounds great…"

"Yeah" she cut Shelby off, "it would be perfect, but she's just cancelled on me so I actually haven't got a date."

"Oh" Shelby's face fell, "well that's her loss!"

"Damn right it is" Liv laughed, "but, well, I know this is kinda awkward, but I wondered if you fancied a night out. Not a date obviously, but we could still have dinner, maybe a few drinks afterwards?"

"I'd love to…"

"But you're busy" Liv finished for her, "it's fine, honestly, I know it's short notice, don't worry about it."

"No, Liv." Shelby reached out to stop her leaving, "I don't have plans, it's just, Rachel's got some things going on and…" she shook her head, "let me go talk to her, she might be happy to go to my sisters or have her friends over."

"No, Shelby, if Rachel needs you…"

Shelby gently squeezed Liv's arm, "let me ask, she'll probably bite my hand off at the chance to spend an evening with her Aunt and Cousins."

"Only if you're sure?"

"I am" Shelby nodded, "I'll go see if I can find her now, but if I can't I'll ask her tonight and let you know."

Luckily Shelby found Rachel quite easily, still in the lunchroom with her friends, and she couldn't help but smile when she saw Rachel laugh at something that was said, Leroy's letter might have made Rachel take a few steps backwards, but she wasn't going to let it keep her down. "Mom" Rachel smiled when she saw Shelby, "is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine" Shelby smiled, not wanting Rachel to worry, "can I have a quick word with you."

"Sure" Rachel looked a little confused but she nodded anyway and stood from her seat, Brittany reassuring her that they'd wait for her as she followed Shelby into the corridor.

"It's nothing to worry about Baby" Shelby said as she stepped into an empty classroom to give them both a little privacy, "it's just, I've been asked if I want to go out on Friday night and I wondered if you'd be okay with me going, you can say no, I won't mind if you'd rather I didn't go."

Rachel smirked slightly, "are you going on a date Mom?" she asked, her eyes wide and her eyebrows raised.

Shelby laughed and swatted at her daughter, "no. I'm just going out with a friend, but only if you're okay with me going."

Rachel nodded, "of course I am Mom." Rachel knew her mom would drop everything for her in a heartbeat, she couldn't say no to her having a night out with a friend if she wanted to.

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely, you've done so much for me since I came to live with you, you deserve a night out."

"I love you" Shelby took Rachel's hand, "and if you want me to ask Amy if you can go over there, or if you want to invite Noah or your friends over then that's okay too. You don't just have to sit home on your own."

"You, you'd let me have Noah over?"

"Yes" Shelby gently squeezed Rachel's hand. "I trust you, and I trust Noah not to take advantage of you, and, as much as it pains me to think of you of anything but my innocent little girl, if you and Noah do do anything, I'd rather it was at home where you're both safe and where you know there's protection if you need it, than in some bedroom at a party or in the back of his truck, but we can talk about that later. Are you sure you're okay with me going out?"

"Yeah" Rachel nodded, "I am."

"Thank you" Shelby pulled Rachel into her arms and kissed her hair, "I'll let you go back to your friends."

"And you can go and say yes to your 'not a date' night" Rachel teased a little as she left the room.

Shelby laughed and rolled her eyes, wondering, not for the first time, how her own Mom managed to put up with her sass and attitude, because there was no doubt that Rachel was slowly picking up Shelby's personality to go with the looks she'd already inherited.