A/N: Around the last time I updated this story, life kinda fell apart. December 7th was the one-year anniversary of my dog's death and I was super depressed. I was very unhappy at work, and after crying my entire drive home one night, I decided to quit. I left my job on Christmas day (best gift to myself EVER). I was in recovery mode for pretty much all of January and February and started looking for work in March. I've been doing freelance editing/writing from home and things are much better now. I just had a tiny wee little Asus tablet with Windows 10 on it that I was using for work, but the battery would drain out on it, even when plugged in. So I'd have to shut it down and let it recharge before I could use it again. I recently saved enough money to get a proper laptop, so here I am! I feel inspired to write again now that A) life is not shit anymore, B) I have the proper tools to do so, and C) won't go blind squinting at a teeny weeny screen. Sorry I was M.I.A for so long. When shit hit the fan, it was more like explosive diarrhea. LOL
Viktor lay alone in bed, his very empty bed, and stared unblinkingly at the ceiling. He sighed in frustration as he rubbed his tired eyes once more, fully aware of what the next few hours had in store for him. Since Yuuri had left, all his nights had begun the same way, forming a predictable ritual of fitful restlessness. He knew he wasn't going to get much sleep tonight either. He sat up in bed and yawned, careful not to wake the adorable lump of fur currently sleeping next to his feet. Makka, bless his soul, must have sensed his inner turmoil and had been glued to his side day and night. He smiled down at his companion of 15 years, somehow managing to find the strength to not wake him up for some middle-of-the-night cuddles.
"You miss Yuuri too, don't you boy?"
At the mention of Yuuri's name, Makka's nose began to twitch and his back legs jerked back and forth a little. Viktor wondered if the pooch was having a dream with Yuuri in it and was momentarily filled with irrational jealousy.
"Well, at least you get to sleep and dream of him. Isn't that nice?"
He sighed once more before turning his body to drape his legs over the side of the bed. He stood up and stretched, reaching for his favorite fuzzy warm housecoat and wrapping it tightly around himself. He then trudged down the hallway and into the kitchen, shuddering at just how vacant and lifeless the house felt with just him in it again. He reached the kitchen, turned on the lights, and then pushed the start button on the electric kettle. He rummaged around for some teabags, feeling too lazy to use the samovar. He spotted some saltine crackers and grabbed them, dumping half the package onto a plate and then placing it on the table. He knew that they'd likely remain untouched but putting a snack out with tea was an ingrained habit.
He poured the hot water into his favorite mug and shoveled in an unhealthy amount of sugar. He knew he probably shouldn't be having so much sugar but couldn't really bring himself to care. He needed comfort, and since Yakov had left with all his alcohol, sugar was the only vice he could still turn to. He was just about to sit down at the table when he decided to take his tea and crackers in the living room instead. He set both the mug and plate down on the coffee table and reached for the remote. A quick look at his phone told him that it was just after 3 AM, which didn't leave him with much hope of finding something decent to watch. He sipped at his sugary tea while he haphazardly pushed the buttons on the remote. He caught a flash of colors and a short clip of familiar-sounding Japanese and paused, curious to see what he'd stumbled upon.
The sound of Japanese elicited a sharp pang of longing from him, as it inevitably brought his thoughts back to Yuuri. When his lover had told him about the sudden youth training camp opportunity in Canada, he had been truly happy for him. As much as he missed him, he couldn't deny that this was a fantastic opportunity. Any skater would happily kill for the chance to help run a camp, let alone one with Shizuka Arakawa at the helm. The woman was renowned in the figure skating world as pure talent and class. He knew that Yuuri would be in good hands. He just couldn't help but wish that he was back in his hands instead. He took another sip of tea and decided to focus on the distraction he had attempted to set up for himself.
He set the remote down and rubbed at his eyes with one hand, hoping it would refresh his vision somehow. The bright and cheery colors seared into his brain, shocking it out of the monochromatic rut it had been stuck in for the last couple of days. He blinked a few times, sighing in contentment as some moisture finally returned to them. He then fully turned his attention to the TV, determined to find out what the hell he was watching.
It was clearly some kind of Japanese animation feature. The sounds of the original dialogue filled the room, but at least the subtitles were thankfully in Russian. He felt a sense of overwhelming relief at that. At least he'd be able to understand what was going on. He checked the information tab and saw that it was an old anime movie from 2001 playing on a 24-hour all-anime channel. He wondered why he had such a channel in the first place, but then remembered that Yuuri had asked him to add it for him. He said that it helped him to watch anime whenever he was feeling homesick. Would it help him now that he was feeling Yuurisick?
The movie had just started, apparently, and so it was quite easy to pick up the story since he hadn't really missed much. One of the main characters in it was a half-demon with silver hair and adorable doggy ears on top of his head. That character's prickly attitude totally reminded him of Yura, and he couldn't help but chuckle at his antics. Then there was this black-haired girl who could shoot magical arrows. She was from the future or something. Dog Boy and Future Girl were clearly in love with each other but adorably in denial over it. Some bad moth monster had a grudge against Dog Boy's family and decided to use Future Girl against him. Dog Boy's dead ex-lover had been resurrected too and was also in the mix.
Although there was a lot going on, Viktor could not say that he wasn't absolutely riveted by it all. He was fully invested in the movie and was anxious to see what would happen next. When he went to take another sip of tea, he was surprised to find that his mug was completely empty. All the crackers had been eaten as well. He smiled a bit as he rubbed his abdomen. He hadn't really eaten much recently and having food in his stomach left him with a warm and fuzzy feeling. He turned his attention back to the movie and gasped as he saw Future Girl shoot Dog Boy with an arrow at the sacred tree.
"Noooo! She didn't mean it! She was being controlled!"
Makkachin came running into the living room just then, his head swiveling around in an attempt at finding the source of the shout. Viktor instantly felt guilty for having woken him. I guess I was louder than I thought. He patted the empty space on the couch next to him and Makka obediently jumped up to occupy it.
"Sorry boy, I guess I got a little too excited."
He set his empty mug on the table and used the free hand to scratch behind Makka's ears. His eyes were glued back to the TV and he found himself scooching to the edge of the sofa and leaning forward. What was going to happen next? His heart ached as Future Girl hugged Dog Boy and cried. She had regained her senses and was inconsolable about shooting her prospective boyfriend. Then, just when he thought that things couldn't get any worse, Zombie Ex showed up and yelled at Future Girl to go back home to the future.
"Cyκa! Get away from them!"
Makka whimpered next to him on the sofa and he switched his hand to the other ear. Zombie Ex made Future Girl fall in the well that took her back to the future. Vines grew in the well and Zombie Ex told Future Girl she'd never be able to come back. When Future Girl got back home, she was positively devastated that she'd never get to see Dog Boy again. The scene hit his heart like a ton of bricks. It seemed to be echoing the same feelings and worries he was having regarding being apart from Yuuri. Dog Boy was far from dead and done though, and the strong sentiments between them kept them connected. A super touching moment took place then, and Viktor was surprised to find tears streaming down his face.
What was it about this scene that had triggered him? Sure, it was a beautifully animated emotional moment, but there had been something else there that he must have missed. He stopped trying to read the subtitles for a minute and instead focused on the original Japanese soundtrack. It was then that he heard it, a stunningly beautiful melody that seemed to encompass all the hurt, longing, desperation, and hope all into one. The more he listened, the more captivated he became. He jumped to his feet and practically ran all the way to the bedroom. He picked up the laptop and then ran back to the living room, flopping himself back on the sofa with a loud oomf. Makka stared uncertainly at him, and he reached out and gave the pooper's butt a good scratch.
"Don't judge me, this is important."
Makka let out a loud sigh and dropped his head back down on the cushion.
"Good boy. I knew you'd understand."
Viktor booted up his computer and began a feverish hunt for the name of the movie and the name of the song. It wasn't hard to find the information he needed for the movie had been a huge box office hit at the time. He quickly purchased the original soundtrack and listened to the song from the scene. It was called "To Love's End" and was even more beautiful in its unadulterated and HD version than he could have ever imagined. The gears in his brain started turning at full speed and before he knew it, he had sent an email to Leonid Oblonsky, his "music guy". Leonid was very talented, dependable, and had yet to disappoint him. If anyone could make the insane visions of Viktor Nikiforov come alive, it was him. He had sent Leonid a copy of the song and a list of instruments he wanted to be incorporated into his version. He wanted an entire orchestra playing this song for him. He also asked a lot of questions. The main one being: would they be able to buy the rights to the song?
He grabbed a piece of paper and started mapping out the music. He made meticulous notes on which parts were soft and which parts picked up. He created a timeline of 10-second intervals and began plotting out the elements he could technically and comfortably fit in at any given interval. He worked tirelessly into the early hours of the morning, only stopping for a refill on his tea and to make himself a sandwich. Now that his stomach had rediscovered food, he found that he was positively ravenous. Slowly but surely, a short program began to materialize in front of him. The original song was just under two minutes and thirty seconds, so he would actually have a bit of extra time to play around with any part of the song he wanted to. As Viktor looked at all the notes before him, he was hit with an intense and overwhelming sensation of feeling alive again.
This song and the skate that was going to go along with it would become his magnum opus, he was certain. The name of the movie had been "Affections Touching Across Time" and he could not have imagined a more fitting theme for next season. He would skate for Yuuri, and he would make sure that his feelings and his affections reached him. Then Yuuri would know, truly know, and understand how he felt about him. Exhaustion and lack of sleep finally caught up with the Russian skater sometime around mid-morning, and unable to keep his eyes open any longer, he spread himself out on the sofa and let sleep overtake him. He slept peacefully for the first time in days, a soft and satisfied smile playing on his lips as he dozed.
By the time Viktor finally regained consciousness, it was already early evening. He shot straight up from the sofa and ran to the door, calling Makka as he did so. He hadn't taken him for a walk before passing out and his poor pooper probably really needed to go. He threw on a pair of sneakers and a light jacket and then opened the door. He checked his phone as Makka made a beeline for his favorite tree and immediately relieved himself. There weren't any messages from Yuuri, so he knew that he hadn't arrived in Canada yet. Makka moved off to left and found his favorite poop spot, leaving a contribution in the process. Viktor dutifully picked up the mess and then tossed it in the trash waiting for pickup on the curb. Once back inside the house, he took a hot shower and then made dinner. When he opened his computer up again and saw that Leonid had responded to his email.
(Translated from Russian)
Vitya,
You're one crazy motherfucker, you know that? A whole orchestra?! Hahaha! You're lucky that you're my favorite client and that I love your money so much. I was wondering when I was going to hear from you. I missed you last season, you know. My professional life is just so plain and boring without your insane demands in it to spice it up. Let's have a video chat at about eight-thirty or so. We can discuss the details then. Later!
Leo.
Viktor smiled as he fired off a quick reply. There was still about an hour to go before their scheduled video chat and so he sat down and slowly enjoyed the meal he'd cooked for himself. Excitement bubbled up deep from within him. He hadn't felt this excited about a new program since his early pro days. He was going to make sure that he got a lot of sleep tonight. He had plans to hit the rink as soon as it opened.
Terminology & Misc.
Сука (suka) – bitch (Russian)
To Love's End
I have been in love with this song ever since I first watched the InuYasha movie back in 2001. I think it's such a masterpiece and can totally picture Viktor skating to it. Here are some different versions/covers for your enjoyment pleasure!
watch?v=RqS_PxMHqV8 (Erhu - Chinese violin)
watch?v=ClzSlz5ZjTU&t=2s (Harp)
watch?v=Kb_mfQZNIyE&t=2s (Chinese Xiao Flute)
watch?v=RwemVdv48Fc (Piano)