D'Tan had not slept at all last night. He had stayed in bed, staring at the ceiling, enfolded in a darkness that did not appease him. He had meditated, and he had felt calmer then, but soon his fears and worries had overpowered him again. He knew he had to face his troubles as Spock counseled him, but he had other matters to settle first.
He had left his bed two hours ago, but he had stayed in his bedroom. He had sat on a chair besides the window, and even if he had ordered a tea to be prepared, he had not touched it. His body did not seem willing to have breakfast. He had just contemplated the landscape outside for some minutes, but soon his hands had reached down to a book he always kept on the side table. He had caressed its worn covers with devotion and had started to read it, even when he could actually recite each word by heart. The lecture drove him to a trance-like state that meditation could not give him, as he remembered again his first lessons on Vulcan culture and history.
Finally, he read the last page, and let the book open in his hands. A drop fell on the page, and then another, and he quickly closed the old book again, protecting it. He abandoned himself to crying. And he thought of his parents, who had given that book to him; he thought of how much he had loved them, of how much they have loved him back, and how many hopes have been whispered and later crushed before his eyes.
D'Tan thought of Koval, smiling painfully while he kept weepping. He pictured the proud man, guiding him, so confident of himself and his plans. He suddenly felt nausea and staggered as he tried to stand up. The book fell to the floor. He recovered a moment later, and wiped out the tears from his face with one hand, while reaching down for the book with the other. Once more, he caressed the book and sat down. One way or another, soon all would be over.
A voice startled him. He smiled hopefully, since it was his mother's, then dropped his smile noticing the lack of emotion that indicated it was only a computer speaking. The internal security system informed him that Spock was arriving home.
He had gone to one of the colonies, along with a young man from D'Tan's service, Hakun, a man who also believed in Unification. They were visiting a new group that had started to learn of their common past with Vulcans. D'Tan had excused himself saying he had to work and had let them go alone. It was not a lie, but there was another unspoken reason why he preferred to stay on his own. Spock was a good friend, but he could read him too well. Lately, he had been asking questions. D'Tan wanted to answer them, he realized it was the right thing to do, but he was not ready yet. And he finally concluded that he did not only fear Spock's possible refusal, but his own.
However, his Vulcan friend was back, and he could not hide in his room anymore. He hastily washed his face and dressed, then left the bedroom and went downstairs to greet them. He noticed how young Hakun looked at Spock's side, and how hopeful. He reminded him of himself when he was just a kid. He invited the two of them to have breakfast. He had to force himself to eat, but once in their company, it was easier. Spock spoke with his usual calm, while Hakun could not hide his enthusiasm. They were explaining him the people who formed the group, their organization and the plans they had for the future. Usually, he also was excited when they talked about the new people who joined their movement, but now his smile lacked certain emotion, and even if Hakun didn't notice, Spock was observing him as he talked, questioning him silently.
The computerized voice who sounded almost like his mother interrupted them again. They all looked up, silencing their conversation. D'Tan had a call from the praetor; he wanted to see him now.
"The Praetor!" the young man gasped with apprehension.
"I assume this is call you were expecting," Spock was questioning with a calm D'Tan always wished he could attain.
"Dreading is a better word," D'Tan sulky replied. "Now, my friend Spock, I don't really know what is going to happen. But you must leave and hide in the tunnels for a while. Hakun will go with you. If everything goes well, I'll call you back."
"And if it doesn't?" the boy asked alarmed.
D'Tan just shook his head. "Just trust Spock. He's very resourceful." He stood up, ready to leave. He hardened his features so emotion would not overcome him again.
Spock struggled with the right words to say. He was having difficulty and he was unused to it; somehow, his mind refused to give him the correct answer.
"Just say nothing," D'Tan replied before he could come up with anything. "Just say nothing." His voice trembled. "I have been preparing myself for this moment all my adult life and it's finally here. So let's just say I'm glad to have met you, I hope we can meet again."
Spock noticed he was about to break down, so he answered him with all the assurance he could convey, "We are going to meet again, D'Tan, when you call back."
"If I call back," D'Tan grimly corrected.
"You will," Spock firmly sentenced. He wondered for an instant if that was a lie. Anyway, it was a lie that the passionate D'Tan needed to hear; it was just logical to say so.
"I will," he said in a whisper, trying to convince himself. He looked intently at the two other men for an instant, mustering his courage, and finally went away.
The soldiers dressed in silver and scarlet stepped aside as he neared them but stopped his own guards, who stayed at the door. D'Tan tried to read the young men who guarded the praetor but his eyes were cold and indifferent, as always. He had only taken his Honor Blade with him, but even that he had not been allowed to carry inside.
Praetor Neral was seated behind a large stone table; he was alone in his private office. D'Tan saluted and stood at attention. Neral just looked at him for a long time, his dark steely eyes piercing him. Inwardly, D'Tan remembered the time when a younger Neral, a proconsul by then, had betrayed them and several good people had been arrested. He could not help but have the same thought every time he met the praetor and tried once more to hide the rage he felt towards him. Maybe he did not need to hide it anymore; everything depended on what Neral wanted of him.
Finally, Neral spoke, "Celti system, planet two. What can you tell me about it?"
D'Tan decided it was better not to doubt, and not really knowing what the correct answer was, he followed his honest nature and said the truth, "It's one of our bases, Praetor, bioengineering research is conducted there."
"Really?" the predator smile the praetor dedicated to him made him shudder.
D'Tan summoned his courage and went on, "If I may, you should ask Chairman Koval for more details about the facilities. He personally runs them."
Neral was smiling with satisfaction, but his eyes were still as cold as ice. "But Koval isn't in this room, and I'm asking you." He paused briefly. "What about his operation in Cardassia? Can you update me?" He sounded upset this time.
However, D'Tan was feeling more confident now. He did not need to feign his fear while replying, "I'm very sorry, Praetor. I do not know. Koval directs the operation and I take no part on it. I don't even know what it's about." Now that was a lie.
"So you are in the dark, D'Tan?" he was mocking now.
If it were possible, he would tense even more. He kept silent, unsure of what to say now. He knew what his game was, but he had no idea of which one Neral played.
"You aren't the only one," the praetor commented next, very serious this time, not hiding his rage. "Sit down," he ordered.
D'Tan did as he had been told.
"Koval has been neglecting his duties lately. He had forgotten to inform me of certain operations," Neral confided him.
D'Tan started to relax; it seemed that finally everything was going to unfold the way he desired. He feigned his shock, "That isn't possible."
"It is," Neral assured him. D'Tan looked at the man in the eye this time, noticed how many wrinkles crossed his face now; he had never dared to take a close look at the praetor; he had never been allowed before. "I want you to report to me of all the Tal Shiar activities as you are aware of them."
"Yes, Praetor."
"And then I want you to arrest Koval." Neral leaned forward, poising over him as the predator he was.
When D'Tan had responded to Neral's call, he did not know what to expect. He was sure he did not know about his continuing support to the Unification movement, but he feared Koval; he had not wanted to take risks to expose him, and finally, he had done exactly that. He had imagined a scene where both Neral and Koval cornered him and all his secrets were discovered. He had also considered the possibility of being also blamed for Koval's crimes. Finally, nothing as such was going to happen. Finally, his nightmare was going to be over and he was going to prevail. Arresting Koval, there was nothing he wanted more, and it did not matter if he had to cope with Neral to ensure that. One step at a time.