...So, what about this photo makes you that uncomfortable? I pull out the picture. I know I've only had it for a day, but I still smile brightly at it. I'm definitely happy to have it.
...No. Starshadow's eyes pierce mine. They're determined and stubborn. Seems like I'm going to have to match him.
No?
No. This is my thing to hold onto. I'll do everything in my power to make sure that whatever that photo means, it's not going to happen.
"That doesn't make any sense, Starshadow!" I groan out loud, frustrated with what's bothering him. "It's enough to make you so uncomfortable that you are practically doing things that you would never normally do! I want to help you! It isn't your burden to bear."
It is, Leilah. It really is. Starshadow hangs his head, looking away. You don't even realize just what you've been through. That's what makes me the saddest.
"We're partners, Starshadow. I'm not the person that just holds your core, you aren't my babysitter. Let me know, ok?"
I promised you in Ixtal that if things get brought up or I think you're mature enough to handle it, I would tell you. I'll be honest, my revelation alone is enough to make my head spin… And that day… If my head is spinning, I don't think there's a chance that you could. I need to do my own research. I need to know more about time.
"Why do you need to know about time?" I ask with a sigh.
Part of what I think happened. I need to confirm it though. For that… I'm gonna have to talk to Zoe… again. Darkins, I hope I don't have to owe her any more years. Starshadow moans. Of course, just at that time, Kassadin comes back to the waking world. He rubs his head uncomfortably. He notices Starshadow staring at him and places his head in his hands.
"None of that was a dream… was it?" The man sounds so shaky. I'm pretty sure that if he was on his feet, the man wouldn't be standing. He would have sunken to the ground and sobbed his heart out. He's already struggling as it is. I think he's actually crying. It's a little hard to make out if he is or not with his hood, but he's definitely not happy. "You… how could your body have been harvested for parts? No known human can regenerate limbs."
"I'm… a sort of… special case." I play with my hair a little bit. I should probably break that nervous habit.
"The great healer was the only one who could heal that completely… and you said that he doesn't want to be a part of our world… Why wouldn't he?" Kassadin is definitely crying now. He's massive compared to me, but I still try to get him to rest his head on my shoulder. He doesn't let me, instead pulls me into a hug. Like in the Freljord, I feel like I'm in the arms of a Father, but I don't feel the urge to cry. I'm not the one that's upset.
"The world he knew was falling apart. While he sees through my eyes what the world has become, it is definitely far past his time. He's happy just letting Starshadow and I figure out what we can do." I rub his back. Starshadow nuzzles him too, though Kassadin tenses from the attention. "Don't worry, Starshadow's just trying to help." Which is still weird.
Hey! Starshadow doesn't do much more to protest, though I ignore it.
Kassadin doesn't do much. He just keeps me in his embrace. I have to admit, I'm a little stunned by this man. This… this is very similar to how I reacted all the way back with the Kinkou. Everything was scary. I was unable to sleep for weeks. And I learned how to deal with it. Kassadin… he's a father. He must be absolutely terrified for a little girl. His breathing is shaky and he's trembling. I hug him in response.
"Hey, you're ok. The Xer'Sai aren't going to get us. Once the sun has gone down, we'll set off to your town." I try to comfort him. He just clutches me even tighter.
"What has happened to you? The Xer'Sai are one of the worst creatures to exist in this world. You mentioned needing to regrow your body… and you are still trying to comfort me? You are only a child." He cries a little bit. I keep trying to calm him down.
That… that startles me more than anything. It took until now for me to realize just how much the world has changed me. He's… he's right. When I was first in Ionia, I panicked at being in a new place. Training exhausted me. I had terrible nightmares from my first journey in Ionia… Then… I just stopped. When people were going to capture me, I just stopped being that scared girl. I don't know exactly what changed or why, but now, I'm able to be in these kinds of situations and not panic. For Aspects sake I was kidnapped for a second time and what kept me up at night wasn't my eye being taken or being kidnapped and possibly sold, it was that Noxus would hurt my boyfriend's country. I… I stopped caring about me. What does that say about me?
That you are becoming the Aspect and Darkin that you were born to be. Starshadow informs me. The setting sun's rays reflect on Starshadow's scales. I bite my lip.
But… what'll happen to me? I… Am I still that same girl that I was? I told stories, got to know people, their history, and I told them to others. I always tried to inspire others. Am I still doing that? Can I still use words to stop people from fighting each other? Especially when there is a war coming? I know that I wouldn't normally worry about things like this, but a man who's a father, asking what is wrong with me for the second time… My journey must be wearing on me. Will I become as cynical as Starshadow? Will I dislike the world like Daamien? What will happen to me when everyone I know fades to dust from time, but I remain as ageless as I ever was? A glass figure of the past, forced to live through time.
Leilah… In Demacia, you told Sylas that there was a place where magic was welcomed. You gave Qiyana and Ashe something to inspire to be. I think you might have even planted that thought in Sett's mind about how he could be a champion. You told Yone what has happened to you and he finally got off his butt to be by your side. You, with all your skills and magic, made a skilled, level-headed swordsman lose his cool when he's confronted with the thought of you being lost. You inspired him to try more, to do more. Shadow Isles, I didn't tell him to ask you out in the bloody bathroom. I just told him that you needed help. He did the rest. Starshadow mumbles, his head nuzzling against my head now. Kassadin yelps and pulls away, making it easy for Starshadow to take up all the attention.
"Get to the point, Starshadow." I roll my eyes slightly.
Nothing about who you are has changed. Sure, things that you've encountered forced you to change your approach to things, but you, you are still a storyteller from Targon. A girl that always did their best to use words to find peace, to show others that it is possible to be better because someone else has done that. And I'm still the same, amazing celestial that will do everything in my power to ensure that you remain the amazing child I met on the mountain. Strong, stubborn, kind, understanding, and, most importantly, a listener. Starshadow finishes his speech.
I really hope you're right. I relax a little bit. Starshadow believes me, that's different, but it's honestly one of the best things I've heard from him… ever.
"Uh… Leilah… Are you certain that thing is… domesticated?" Kassadin pokes my shoulder. I have to hold in a laugh at the thought of Starshadow being domesticated. He's wild, end of story. There's just no way that he would ever let himself be called domesticated. I doubt me even being deeply upset would even get through to him.
"Starshadow is my other half. If it makes you feel better, I'll hop in his mouth." I volunteer with a smile. Tears drip from my eyes, but I dutifully ignore it.
What did he say?
He asked if you were domesticated. I decide to tell him.
He asked if I was WHAT? Starshadow hisses, his fangs popping out. Kassadin tries to slide away, though Starshadow being his platform makes that task rather… impossible.
Calm down. I told him you're my other half. And decidedly not domesticated. I try to calm him down. Starshadow folds his fangs back in before pouting.
Domesticated. Ha! I'm a celestial. If anything, you're the domesticated one. He hisses bitterly. Still, it's enough to make me laugh.
"What is it saying?" Kassadin panics a little bit. He's looking down at the ground, as if debating which is the better fate, chance with the Xer'Sai, or stay with a temperamental snake with some rather sharp teeth.
"He's a bit moody at being called domesticated." I explain, scratching Starshadow's head. Starshadow makes an effort to be approachable… but I don't think Kassadin will ever be comfortable with a snake his size…
"It's… sentient?" Kassadin squeaks.
"He's not an it. He's a celestial from the top of Mount Targon." I roll my eyes a little bit. If I don't get it right, I'm never going to hear the end of it. Especially if Starshadow ever figures out how to speak Shuriman.
"You… are bonded to a star?" Kassadin's eyes bug out from under his hood.
"More like a celestial being. He's… I'm more like what keeps him grounded to Runeterra, but he's also an extension of my magical core… It's kind of hard to explain." I run a hand through my hair. Honestly, Starshadow's become such a close part of myself that it's become hard to explain him as something different from me. He's… my bonded, my other half. I don't know how to describe it anymore.
"Wow. Wait… a celestial… an Aspect. I can't believe I didn't figure it out earlier, you climbed Mount Targon? How? How can a child like you be carrying some of the most powerful things in the known world? And be in control?" Now Kassadin sounds like he's in awe.
Ah yes, respect. I deserve it. Starshadow preens. I snort in amusement.
"What was that?"
"Starshadow is pretentious. He loves being put on a pedestal. He's one of the vainest creatures you'll ever meet, but he's never let me down. Not now, not ever." I hit an apparently good spot as he almost seems to relax right on the very thing he was afraid of. "And to answer your question, they may be powerful, but they still have souls. I just so happened to have encountered some of the kindest. Both Aspect and Darkin are happier with me using their power while they watch."
"Wow… Do… Do you know if the great Lord Daamien can hear me?" Kassadin seems a little shy to ask.
Starshadow? Do you know if Daamien can hear us? I switch to speaking with my bonded.
Depends. You want me to check? Starshadow shudders under me. That reminds me exactly why I would prefer to give a warning before going back in.
It might be better if I do. I'm not sure what will happen if you go, since you are a huge snake and are currently keeping us up from the Xer'Sai. Do you mind if I go now? I ask, a little bit resigned.
Not at all.
"I'll go check. Don't worry. Starshadow will keep us safe until the sun sets. Aurora? Daamien? I'm going to come talk with you." I feel a little bit weird speaking out loud, but it really is necessary. I am not walking into them doing whatever they were doing privately...
"You don't need to come see us to check on us, by the way. We are in your cores. Of course we hear everything out there." Daamien gruffly greets me. Seems like I did interrupt something… Thank goodness they had enough sense to hear me.
"Maybe I didn't, but I had something else to ask." I shrug. A glowing hand places itself on my shoulder. I look over to see Aurora's smile.
Go ahead. Ask away. Aurora's eager to get me out. I reach into my scarf, searching for that photo. Surprisingly enough, it's… a part of my core. Actually, it's a little bit foggy, so it's not the real thing. I don't think I've stared it at that often that I can tell that it's not real… though I can apparently tell when an illusion is an illusion now, so… yeah.
"This picture… it means something to Starshadow. Sure, he's still his normal annoying, vain self, but he's doing things differently. He's offering to help. He never does that. He only changed how he acted after he saw this. I want to know why." I hold the photo out to them. Daamien takes it and smiles.
"It's beautiful, Leilah. I know that I was complaining to Aurora about how much you like him, but this… this really shows exactly how much he cares about you." Daamien approves. I sigh. It seems like Daamien isn't going to be too much help. That's annoying. Daamien offers the photo to Aurora. She glances at it and pales. That peaks my interest. She knows this photo as well.
Leilah… you are asking why this photo is so important… This isn't just anything. Some of the implications it has… it's too much. Aurora cautions. Daamien frowns.
"Rori?" Not even Daamien holding her hand is enough to pull her eyes away from mine. The same eyes we share… ish.
Do you want to know? Aurora asks again. A chill creeps up my spine. Whatever this photo is, it's enough to make celestials uneasy.
"Why… why are you wary? You're an Aspect. There's pretty much nothing, unless you include Darkins, that could kill you." I point out. Daamien jolts a little bit at that.
"When did you realize that a darkin could kill an Aspect?"
"Atreus… He mentioned a very bad person capable of pushing others away and killing Pantheon the Aspect. I've been really, really hard to kill. Partially because I have Starshadow, partially because of your magic. From what I can tell, Daamien is one of, if not the strongest being I know, and he's a Darkin." I fidget a little bit. I've had theories about who Pantheon was attacking. I never heard exactly who it was that killed the war celestial, but it had to be pretty damn powerful. Daamien is one of the most powerful I know, so it's possible that his people would be able to kill an Aspect. It's possible that a celestial could also kill him, but I doubt it. Mostly because of how the celestials behave. They think themselves above everyone. I'm including Starshadow in this. Even Aurora is guilty of it, though she has more compassion than the rest.
… You are quite astute for someone so young… You're right. There's very few things that I am afraid of. Aurora rests a hand on my shoulder, looking into my eyes. And the greatest fear I have now… is you losing yourself from guilt.
"What are you talking about?" I'm a little bit frustrated, though my worry of Aurora's reaction to my question alarms me. She's not afraid of Darkins, but she's afraid… for me.
Leave, little one. I have to talk with Daamien. Tell Kassadin that we are listening. Aurora dismisses me. I can't even get a word out when my eyes just close.
"They can hear us." I tell Kassadin. The sun has set. A quick cast of magic reveals that the Xer'Sai are still under us. They are certainly a very persistent group of creatures, but we can't afford to stay here any more. Kassadin didn't save any food or water for us, and I travel so light that I still don't have a bag. I should probably start to carry a travel bag with me...
"Something wrong?" Kassadin asks quietly.
"I… There are some things that I want answers to, but Daamien and Aurora don't want to talk.." I sigh and settle onto Starshadow's back.
Leilah?
One second.
"Do you… want to talk about it?" Kassadin offers. I shake my head.
"Not right now. For now, let's focus on getting you home. Where to?" I ask. Kassadin straddles Starshadow's back.
Leilah? Once more, Starshadow attempts to grab my attention. I shake my head to clear my thoughts.
If Kassadin gives us directions, how fast can you move?
I'm a celestial. Everything is slow to me. Starshadow deadpans. What's the matter?
"Just give us directions, please." I ignore my bonded for the moment. Right now, I have to make sure Kassadin gets home to his daughter.
"Uh, sure. Just keep following the warrior's spear. It's a week of traveling…" Kassadin points out the stars above. I look up to see which direction he wants us to go. I scan briefly to see which direction the warrior is pointing. It's pointing us south. I have to uncomfortably admit to myself that it took me longer than I normally would have to find the spear. It has been a while since I really studied, but I have watched the stars my whole life. It's only a matter of time.
Take us in the direction, Starshadow. I point him to our right. Starshadow nods and slithers off. Just to be safe, I cast some magic to let me and only me see where the Xer'Sai is. Thankfully, it seems like they can't sense anything that is above air as the light doesn't leave that spot.
I know that Starshadow is always complaining that I'm too slow, but he has a point. I have to lie down on my bonded to avoid being blown off. Kassadin clings tightly to his box and to Starshadow. My face is starting to burn a little bit from how fast we're going. I only know because I have to look down. It seems like that box is incredibly important to the man as he keeps it clutched to his person. The wind almost seems to howl as we race on the air. Starshadow and I do not speak, as he knows that I am not exactly in the mood to talk. Still, I know that he's dying to ask.
Will you talk to me now, Leilah? Starshadow is quiet.
...The photo. I showed it to Aurora and Daamien. I answer him. I decide to be the better person between us. I'll tell him what I heard. He can explain himself.
...Damn. You got to Aurora before I could. Did… did she talk about anything? Starshadow's scales rise and fall as he does his best to temper himself..
She told me that she's worried that I'll lose myself. Why would learning something about a photo cause me to lose myself? I ask him.
Because… Leilah, for Aurora's sake, you are only a child. I can feel you getting annoyed, but it's your sweet naivety that makes most people trust you. They find themselves listening and trusting you because you genuinely don't mean any harm. As you grow, you'll lose that naivety and become a more mature person. We… we love that girl that you are. We love that even when you've gone through some of the most brutal situations, you still have in your heart to trust and help people. We… don't want to see that go. We don't want you to lose that kindness or that love, because... stars above I don't have enough in my heart to care about the world. The only thing I care about is protecting you, and… this… this would change you into someone else. And I don't want that person. I want you to be happy, loving, and kind. Starshadow explains. I never knew that Starshadow loved me that much that he's willing to risk my ire in his belief that I would change if I knew. He was even ok with me getting furious at him later… All so I would be the person I am just a little bit longer. That alarms me so much that maybe… maybe just this once… I won't bother him. He knows what he's doing anyway, so I'm… I'm going to trust him.
There's a few bright lights that pass under us . A small tug on my ankle lets me know that Kassadin wants to say something.
Slow down for a moment. I request. Starshadow does so. The wind dies down enough that I can sit up and hear other noises. Kassadin's hood is off, with long flowing black hair and long rough facial hair. He pushes himself up with trembling hands.
"We… how.. How are you that fast? We just passed by my village." Kassadin stammers a bit.
We passed his home. I tell Starshadow. He flips his head around, locating the bright lights we passed.
Oops. He should have mentioned that it was going to be bright. On the plus side, I don't need to slither on the shadows anymore. You can carry us back. Starshadow rebukes. Kassadin yelps as we fall. To be honest, so do I. I don't enjoy falling all that much. Just… something about not being stable makes me uneasy.
Naturally, my bonded snickers. He's probably thinking this is fun, being from the stars where they shoot across the sky. I let out a scream at the same time Starshadow catches us in a sort of slide. Still, we're going a bit fast. Enough that when Starshadow abruptly returns to his smaller size, we have a backlash of sand behind us as we slide. Kassadin's tightly holding the box. I somehow roll onto my face, driving my head under the sand. I pull it out with a sputter. Starshadow cackles in my head.
"We're… not that far… away from… my village." Kassadin pants a little bit. I glare at Starshadow for the rude drop off while dusting my hair. Still, I get up and offer a hand to the man. He peers at it before looking at my decidedly ruffled hair.
"Well, we better start walking. I'm sure your daughter would like to see her father." I smile.
Naturally, the village is silent when we arrive. The sun is just starting to climb when we arrive. For not being that far from the village, it took all night to get there. Growling stomachs and weakened limbs were reinforced with my magic, but even that is taxing on me. I fall onto my knees at the very end. Everything is blurry. I've never had my magic used that much for that long before, but at least we're here. Kassadin catches me as my vision fades to black.
Damn... there is some hard hitting stuff here. How many of you thought about how Leilah has changed? This... This is a marker, to remind you all what exactly is on the line. Leilah... she's tougher, but this isn't her test. We all know what is going to happen. Feel free to leave in the reviews what you want to see happen... and there's no guarantee that I will listen. I have a fate planned and I'm not going to change. I just want to know how many hearts I'm going to affect. I'm evil like that. Also, this photo is definitively something. Feel free to take guesses as to why it's so big.
This week... It's going to be Cassiopeia... What nice thing can I say about her? Kidding! I hope you guys are as persistant and determined to follow your dreams. And may your day be extraordinary like you all are.
P.S. Sorry about that. I accidently deleted some old chapters.