Chapter 82: Always
"I don't know about this." Mika murmured in Romanian. After a brief discussion with the panel, Dr. Raynor led her, Bucky, and Steve through another hallway, one with unmarked doors and no windows. It reminded Mika of the entrance to the Raft, something that she only saw in her dreams.
"Yea, this is not one of our best moves I don't think." Bucky replied in kind, trying to figure out how to stay between her and the doctor, and between her and the guards following them. This was, once again, a tactical nightmare. He thought he was past the point of thinking about those.
"That's why I'm here." Steve said in English.
"Ah, ah." Mika chided, making him roll his eyes.
"That's why I'm here." he said again, this time in Romanian. "Better?"
"Yes, I'm very proud of you. You'll be ready to visit in no time." she said. She looked down at his cane, still tucked underneath this arm as he limped down the hallway. "Aren't you supposed to be using that?"
"Don't tell my physical therapist, and we'll all be killer diller." he said, glancing over his shoulder and nearly losing his balance. Mika caught him with a hand on his belt, righting him.
"I can't believe you just said killer diller at a time like this." Bucky muttered.
"I think I lost something in translation here." Mika said, looking between the two of them.
"No, you didn't." Dr. Raynor said without looking back at them. She stopped at one of the doors, though how she knew which was the correct one Mika didn't understand. Once it was unlocked, she opened it and gestured inside. "In we go."
"Now I really don't like this." Mika muttered. Bucky put a hand on her back, which was definitely reassuring, but considering she was thisclose to trying to scramble her way out it wasn't quite the comfort she needed.
She was sick and tired of people trying to arrest her husband. It annoyed her more than people trying to arrest her.
Not only were these knuckleheads (as Steve would call them) trying to arrest her husband, they were also trying to say that they weren't married? Even though there were no soldiers or gunshots, Mika thought this might be worse than that last day in her apartment. So help her, if she was forced to uproot her life again, this time without Bucky, then she was going to rage.
"Sit." Dr. Raynor said, her voice commanding enough that it made Mika want to fight her, her emotions simmering close to the top. All three of them stayed standing, and the doctor sighed passive aggressively before settling in a chair first. "Please, sit." she said, this time much calmer.
"Dr. Raynor, as Mr. and Mrs. Barnes' attorney-"
"You're not actually an attorney yet, Captain Rogers, don't try and bullshit me." she said. Oh, so that's how it was.
"Well I'm better than the court-appointed tie that they're gonna assign to this case, one that's mysteriously not going to show up when it matters." Steve said, his eyes ablaze. The gaze was just as imposing as it used to be, despite his change in stature. Dr. Raynor held up a hand.
"I agree with you. Listen, you've all agreed to meet with me right now. Believe it or not, we're all here for the same goal." she said. She crossed her legs casually, leaning back in the chair. One by one, the trio sank into the chairs opposite her. The edge of the chair dug into Mika's legs as she perched, ready to take off at a moment's notice. "Right, thank you. Here's the deal, I've seen too many soldiers fall by the wayside because these assholes want to make sure that everything looks good for the shareholders and the outside world."
"I'm struggling to find your point." Steve said, but Mika thought she was starting to understand.
"I'm getting there." Dr. Raynor said. "They need a way to make themselves look like the heroes here. They didn't deal with that shit with Hydra, they've never lived in a time that isn't their own. In their minds, they're keeping a war criminal off the streets."
"But Bucky-" Mika started to interrupt, but Dr. Raynor interrupted right back.
"I know." she said. "So, there's two ways to play this. Either we go with insanity, and James here gets locked up and evaluated by psychiatrists that aren't me, or," she paused again, turning to Steve. "We play up what Natasha found for you. He doesn't need to be locked up, he needs to be rehabilitated."
"He's perfectly rehabilitated." Mika said, putting her hand on his knee. "He's spent the past eight years rehabilitating."
"Maybe, yes. Maybe he's rehabilitated, and maybe he still needs to do some work." Dr. Raynor said, her tone condescending enough that Mika felt Bucky's grip tighten in his gloves. "But those guys don't know that. And you, missy, they think you have Stockholm Syndrome."
"I don't - what is that?" she asked, turning to Bucky. He didn't answer, a muscle in his jaw twitching.
"She doesn't have fucking Stockholm Syndrome, Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ-" Steve said loudly, once again earning a hand from Dr. Raynor.
"Stockholm Syndrome is when someone is stuck in captivity with an abuser and develops close feelings for them, and sympathy towards their cause." Dr. Rayor said. It was obvious that it was a paraphrase, but it was still enough to make Mika see red.
"What?!" she screeched. "They think that Bucky - that he - that I -" She could no longer verbalize her thoughts in English, switching to Romanian. "That's bullshit that they think he would ever hurt me, or that he's somehow tricking me into this, he's been nothing but careful and loving and-"
"Mrs. Barnes." Dr. Raynor spoke over her, clearly losing patience. Mika realized she was standing now, Steve's hand on her wrist and Bucky's on her waistband, as if they were afraid she was going to literally fly off the handle. Mika took a deep breath and put her hand against her racing heart, trying to calm it down. Fuck, she was out of shape.
"I don't have Stockholm Syndrome." she said. Her muscles felt weak, and she sat down before the lightheadedness could set in. Every time she thought she was getting better after the Stone Sickness, it knocked her right back down again.
"And I'm going to prove that with a 'thorough psychological evaluation'." Dr. Raynor said. "Between Captain Rogers' evidence and the information I can provide, we can get out of this mostly intact."
"I don't like the way you said mostly." Steve said, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Concessions will have to be made, that's the way it goes with stuff like this." she said. "But a few concessions is better than lock up, or sending your wife back to Romania."
Dammit, she was right.
Mika looked over to Bucky, but his eyes were on the floor. He ran his metal thumb over his opposite palm, a soothing mechanism she hadn't seen him use in a long time. She knew, despite the gloves, that he could still feel the bite of it. She reached out, touching his shoulder and making him drag his eyes to hers.
"Hey." she said softly in Romanian. "What is it?"
"This just sounds like a lot of work for other people to deal with." he replied. He glanced at Steve, the only other person who could understand them, but Steve either couldn't hear them or was pretending he couldn't. Mika could never remember which ear was his good ear nowadays.
"You're worth it." she replied. It had been a long time since they had a conversation like this, and it broke her heart all over again.
"To you, yes. But to the rest of the world…"
"No, don't think like that." she said. "We've been through this. You deserve to live a happy life. We are going to live a happy life. Together. I'll be damned if anyone tries to take that away from us. We made promises, Barnes, and we're keeping them."
A ghost of a grin graced his face and he nodded, taking her hand. "You're right, Barnes. Almost had a moment of idiocy there."
"That's okay, I forgive you." she said. She wanted to kiss him, but was very aware of the eyes on them, particularly Dr. Raynor's. Hopefully the woman was trustworthy, but Mika couldn't be sure. At least not yet. Unfortunately, her plan was better than anything else they had.
"Okay listen, they're probably getting close to done taking the precursory looks through Captain Rogers' evidence." Dr. Raynor said. She turned to Steve. "If you're gonna be their attorney, then you need to go in there and sell this plan, you hear me?"
"I need to outsmart a bunch of suits? Been doing that since 1943." Steve said with an overconfident grin. Bucky rolled his eyes so hard Mika was worried he'd go blind.
"Don't get too cocky now." he muttered, which only made Steve grin wider.
"Never cocky, only confident." he said, pushing to his feet.
"You two." Dr. Raynor said, gesturing to them. "No yelling. No fighting back. You let Steve talk, and that's it."
"Yes, I like this plan." Steve said, and Mika held back from pointing out that technically they didn't agree. "C'mon, now, let's go get this situated."
Steve opened the door, and Mika, Bucky, and Dr. Raynor all followed. Mika didn't like how the doctor insisted they go in front of her, and could tell that having her behind them made Bucky nervous too. She tucked her hand into his elbow, leaning into him. Just slightly, she felt him relax.
The suits in question looked annoyed when they reentered the courtroom, the main man - a Colonel Bryant, if Mika remembered correctly - watching them with a steely gaze. Mika couldn't tell if Steve was walking with swagger or just an exaggerated limp, but either way it got his point across.
"Thank you for deciding to grace us with your presence again." Colonel Bryant said. He gestured to the chairs in front of them and they all sat, except for Dr. Raynor. She returned to the gallery, though this time on the front row.
"Colonel," Steve started at least with an air of respect, though how genuine it was was anyone's guess. "You see there in the files all of the shit my best friend had to endure for seventy five years, after the US Army decided it wasn't a priority to go back and find his body back in Austria."
Oh shit, he was playing the guilt card too. Mika raised her eyebrows, but Steve kept his eyes forward.
"That was, as you understand, not my call, considering I wasn't even born yet." Colonel Bryant said. Steve shrugged.
"You're right, it wasn't your call. But you get to make this call today." Steve said. "Bucky's been through the ringer. Natasha's notes detail all the ways Hydra and the Red Room used to torture, break, and brainwash those in the asset program, and how Bucky was the only one to survive. He's been out of the game for eight years now. And in those eight years, there were exactly zero deaths from his hand. Left to his own devices, Bucky isn't a killer. He's just a man, trying to live his life with his wife."
"Get to your point, Captain Rogers." Colonel Bryant said, taking off his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Look, I understand the reserves yous guys have about this." he said. "So, I have a counteroffer to your original proposal."
"This isn't a negotiation."
"When it comes to the life of my best friends, it is." Steve said. "Dr. Raynor has graciously offered to perform thorough psychological evaluation on both Mr. and Mrs. Barnes to determine if there is any danger to society, or if there was any…duress, under Mika's part." She bristled at that, but a heavy metal hand on her thigh kept her from saying anything. "Once that is clear, then we can talk about further steps."
"Absolutely not." Colonel Bryant said, and Mika felt her anger bubble in her chest again. She went to stand, but another man, one who'd previously been silent, spoke up.
"He makes a good point, Bill." he said, ignoring good old Bill's title that he worked so hard for. "This isn't a common situation. And we're not living in common times. Let the doctor do her work, and if there is any further steps we need to take, then we take them then."
"How can you be okay with that, Admiral?" the woman from earlier said. Mika couldn't remember her name. The Admiral, who looked about as old as Steve and Bucky, shrugged.
"Captain Rogers makes a good point. He was fine when he was on his own before, despite having plenty of opportunity. Hell, you're spouting some shit about him being a danger, but when he was freed he went and got himself a wife." The Admiral chuckled at his joke, but none of his colleagues were amused.
"Admiral, with all due respect, this is the Winter Soldier we're talking about." Colonel Bryant said through gritted teeth.
"I'm not the Winter Soldier." Bucky spoke up, ignoring Dr. Raynor's instructions. Mika could see him holding it together, and even if she couldn't read his thoughts, she could read his face. Finally, after all these years, he was starting to believe what she'd been telling him the whole time. "A lot of shit has gone down, but I know that. Princess Shuri saved me, we tested it in Wakanda -" he got choked up at the memory, but swallowed the emotion down, returning to his neutral face. "Hydra has no hold over me anymore."
Colonel Bryant sighed, leaning back and covering his mouth as he spoke to the woman next to him. The Admiral leaned onto the desk, making sure his input was heard as they discussed. A muscle in Bucky's jaw twitched, and Mika felt emotions bubbling up and threatening to overwhelm her. Both of them, but especially he, had been through so much, and now there would be more hoops to jump through. But he faced them head on, with confidence in his gaze. Mika put her hand on his back, turning into him so she could lean her head against his.
"I'm so proud of you." she whispered, earning a sharp intake of breath from him. Despite prying eyes, she kissed his cheek. "No matter what, I'm proud that you're my husband."
"Thank you." he said, dipping his head down to kiss her shoulder. "I couldn't do any of this without you."
Her heart burned for him. "You could," she said, and she felt the metal of his fingers dig into her knee for just a second. "But you don't have to. I'm here with you."
"Alright, alright." Colonel Bryant waved everyone away from him. "Look, we're gonna need to step back and decide exactly how to proceed here. Dr. Raynor and Captain Rogers, if you could please come with us?" He phrased it as a question, but it didn't sound like one.
"I got you." Steve said, squeezing their shoulders as he inched by. Dr. Raynor gave them a curt nod as she passed, her heels clacking loudly on the tile floor as she followed the panel into a back room. Once the door was closed, Parsons and his security detail stepped forward, cuffs dangling threateningly from his belt.
"Don't even." Bucky said, eyeing them. Mika crossed her arms over her chest, trying to look intimidating despite the fact she knew she couldn't outrun these guys right now.
"Yea, yea, I get it. We've gotta go to a holding cell, that's the way it goes." he said, rolling his eyes.
"Can I at least have my phone back?" Mika asked. One of the men grabbed it earlier in their distraction, and it felt like she lost a lifeline. "I need to text my sister. Someone needs to take care of our dog."
"That's bullshit, but whatever. I don't get paid enough for this shit." Parsons said, gesturing to one of the men. He produced two phones from his pocket, handing them to Bucky and Mika. As expected, Mika had ten missed calls and a thousand texts from Nicoletta, ranging from panic to chastising to vague threats against the government. She waited until they were in a separate room from the court, seated in uncomfortable plastic chairs with disgusting office coffee before calling her back.
"Oh my God, you're alive." Nicoletta said by way of greeting. Mika winced, holding the phone away from her ear at the volume.
"Barely." she said. "You know, you can't threaten the government via text, you and Steve aren't technically married. How much was he able to tell you?"
"Not much." she replied, and Mika could hear the huff in her voice. "Someone called him, and he went rifling through the filing cabinet and practically flew out of the apartment. Mika, what's going on? Are you okay? How's my brother in law?"
"He's fine, we're fine." she said, catching Bucky's eye as he settled into the chair. "Well, at least, as fine as we can be."
"What's happening? Do you need me there? Steve took the car but I can get there-"
"No, no, don't worry about coming here." Mika said. "They're, um, they're trying to sentence us for…prior transgressions."
"What the fuck does that mean?" Nicoletta screeched. "Like, what happened in Germany? That was before the Blip, Tony Stark isn't even alive anymore-"
"That, and, uh," she paused, glancing over at Bucky again. He nodded; after all, Nicoletta could find out from them, or from the news eventually. "They're trying to say that Bucky needs to be punished for what they made him do."
"What they made - wait, like what they made him do?" she said. Preemptively, Mika held the phone away from her ear, and even without enhanced hearing she could hear her sister yelling.
"I think she's upset." Bucky deadpanned, one corner of his mouth lifted in a smile. She leaned forward and kissed that corner, trying to cheer him up.
"We're very protective of our family." Mika said. She paused, but Nicoletta was still yelling. "Are you okay?"
He shrugged. "I'm in that weird in-between. Trying to be hopeful, but not too much."
"Yea, me too." she said. Nicoletta finally seemed to be slowing down, so Mika brought the phone back to her ear. "I know, I know. Listen, Steve is here, and he's doing what he can. He has a bunch of information that Natasha gathered years ago."
"Oh, so that's the file he was looking for? He should've asked, he was in the wrong filing cabinet for like, five minutes." Nicoletta said. "What can I do? How can I help?"
"Honestly, can you go get Luna?" Mika asked, grimacing even as the words left her mouth. Time and again, her sister and her poor dog ended up stuck together. "They're holding us in here until they figure out what kind of pardon they're going to give."
"Wait, so you're for sure getting a pardon?"
"We're trying to be hopeful." she said. "There was a psychiatrist here, a Dr. Raynor - oh, shit, I need to look her up - but she's hoping that she can help prove that we can be safe, productive members of society."
"Well, I mean, I know Bucky is all those things, I don't know about you, you little heathen."
"Thank you for the confidence." Mika said. Sisters. "Well, when I'm in jail forever, make sure that Bucky makes a friend or two, hm?"
"Sure. I'll even make sure they're humans and not just dogs at the dog park."
"Perfect. Okay, I'll call you as soon as I have an update."
"Okay, I'm depending on you, I think Steve may throw his phone against the wall if I call him right now."
"That…would probably be correct." Bucky agreed. Mika told her sister she loved her and hung up the phone, immediately opening the web browser to search for articles on Dr. Christina Raynor. According to the information she found, she was a well-respected military psychiatrist, one who worked with squadrons involved in special forces and special incidences, such as the Battle of New York and some FBI agents involved in a certain Westview incident. She certainly had the background, but whether or not she would be able to help was another story.
"Do you think Steve will be able to argue?" Mika asked, looking up at Bucky. He was leaning against the wall, eyes closed and hands loosely held in his lap. He opened one eye.
"If anyone can do it, it's Steve." he said. He reached one arm out, beckoning with his fingers. "C'mere."
"Sir, yes, sir." she said, scooting her chair close to his and accepting his arm around her, resting her head at the crook of his neck and shoulder. "We're going to be okay." she said, patting his chest.
"Yea, I know." he said, and she felt him press his lips to the top of her head.
"What are you worrying about?" she asked. He went still, as if he was just remembering that she knew his every movement, his every tell. She'd known for years, and it was only easier to tell with time.
"That psychiatrist." he said. "That's what they told me Zemo was, back in Germany."
"What?" she asked, sitting up. He shook his head, pulling her back into him as if he didn't want her to see his face.
"I'm not afraid she's going to do anything to me." he said. "The words are gone, you proved that back in Wakanda. I just…I've spent a long time alternating between running from my past and dwelling in it. And I don't know how much visiting a shrink about it will help."
"Maybe that's what you need." she said softly. "Maybe you need an objective third party to tell you that you're okay, since you don't like to believe me when I say it."
"I always believe you. But you're biased." he agreed. She pinched his knee, sitting up again so she could look at him. He kept his head against the wall, rolling it so that he was facing her. He looked so tired, the most tired she'd seen him in a long time.
"I am biased. But I also met you at one of your worst times." she said. It wasn't often she thought about how he was at the very beginning, when he first moved into that tiny apartment next door to her. But comparing that man to the man in front of her was like night and day. "You've done it. You've put in the work. You've proven it to yourself and to me and to your friends time and again. Now you just have to prove it to some weird government guys."
He let out a dry huff of a laugh. "Easy peasy." he said. She groaned.
"Keep saying stuff like that, and they'll have to accept that you're just a grumpy old man." she said, poking him in the side. He grabbed her wrist, pulling her bodily onto his lap.
"I'll show you how old I am." he said, nuzzling his scruff on her neck and making her squeal. She fought back for a second before his arms were completely around her, holding her tight. She settled into him, feeling the difference in weight between his metal arm and his original one. "I love you. Thank you for always being there for me."
Mika wanted to cry at his words. How long had he gone without someone to help him? She could barely remember a time before Bucky, but he had decades and decades of memories where he was alone. She snaked her arms around him, holding him tightly.
"I love you. You always have me." she said, her voice thick with tears. "Always."
Omg y'all, I can't say how wonderful it is to be writing this story again. Thank you SO MUCH for welcoming Mika back! I have super exciting things planned, and I so appreciate all your feedback. Hope y'all are excited too!
Please let me know what you thought of this chapter!
-XM