A/N: Been a hot minute but I'm never leaving!
Somehow, if it was even possible, training had intensified tenfold when they arrived in Belgium. But JJ found herself relishing it. She was again at the peak of her ability, completely ready to go out there and ace the competition. For the first time, she felt as though she wasn't really nervous... just excited to go out and nail her routines.
Because she and Kyla were naturally more quiet than Simone and McKayla, the two of them had been roomed together, with Simone and McKayla across the hall. JJ enjoyed Kyla's company. They had always gotten along pretty well, but now she had a chance to get to know the younger girl even better.
They were two days away from the qualification round of competition. The girls had been put through the ringer in the day's training, with Marta holding nothing back. On the back of an Olympic team gold, she clearly wanted to show the world that the USA was still the country to beat on the world stage.
As Kyla came out of the bathroom towelling her hair dry, JJ looked up from her phone, giving the younger girl a smile.
"Nice to not be covered in chalk?"
Kyla laughed. "Always. Although I swear it's still in my hair. This is how it's always gonna be. I'll be three years retired and still brushing chalk out of my hair"
"I swear I still had London chalk on me when I went to Florida for Christmas. I probably shouldn't have washed it off. All the memories"
Kyla giggled, flopping back onto her bed and toying with the hem of the towel that was still clutched in her hands. "Man, I miss London. I can't believe it's been over a year. It just felt so special... I was really sad coming home because it felt like I blinked and it was over. We worked our whole lives for that"
JJ nodded in agreement. "Trust me, I know exactly how you feel. I had an entire meltdown over it before Christmas. Like, hyperventilating and hysterical crying. I just felt so lost. My mom actually took me to a therapist who specialises in competitive athletes"
"I guess for you, it was probably a bit harder too... I mean, I left London knowing my next goal was to go to Worlds. You had already been to Worlds... so it's not that surprising that you felt a little lost. After World and Olympic gold, where do you go from there? I mean, yeah, you could probably aim to place higher in certain events, but after a while, does it just feel like chasing the same high?"
JJ shrugged. "I worried about that. But then I was chatting with Nick, and he said if I ever hit that point, it means I'm mentally burnt out and it's time to either take a break or move on. And for now... I don't feel that at all. I still feel like I have goals, but my biggest one is just to go out there without the pressure I felt last year. Last year I almost headcased at Trials under how much pressure I was putting on myself, and I don't want to feel like that again. I want to be doing gymnastics and competing at this high level because I enjoy it, not because I'm forcing myself to"
Kyla smiled. "I like that outlook. You know... I know this may sound odd coming from someone two years younger than you, but you've changed a lot since last year. Like... I idolised you and Aly at the beginning of last year, and to be completely honest, when I actually got to know you, I was surprised by how... I don't know if this is the right word, but anxious you were about every competition you did. And it kinda made me realise that all the champions we see come and go, we never really know what's going on in their heads, because they can be cool, calm and collected up on the apparatus, but nervous and unsure down on the sidelines. And I'm not saying that in a bad way, because you were still incredible and you never faltered, but... I don't know, I guess before I got to know you, I only knew your gymnastics, and every performance you gave just had this super badass vibe coming off it, so I guess I was surprised that you were as quiet and unsure as you were. But now you're just... you're so confident in yourself and what you're doing. And I love it and it's the kind of attitude and self confidence I wish I could have as well. You're truly the leader of the team this year... even though we're not officially a team"
Nodding, JJ let out a little laugh. "You know, you're not the first person who's said that. My mom said the same thing to me a couple of months ago. She thinks a lot of it has come from Will"
Kyla frowned, perusing JJ for a moment. "I can see that. I mean, I haven't met him, but from everything you've ever said about him, he seems really lovely. And supportive, which definitely helps the confidence"
"He's the best," JJ said, a happy smile crossing her face. "But you know what Ky, I think you're heading the same direction this year as well. You and I were the two quietest members of the team last year, and you've definitely come out of your shell a bit more this year"
"You think?"
"With Simone around, it's kind of impossible not to"
Kyla laughed. "She'll get you out of your shell if she has to use the Jaws of Life to do it"
JJ burst out laughing, flopping back against her pillow as Kyla's phone buzzed on the nightstand.
"That's Mac. She says Larry wants me in his room for a work-up"
JJ looked up, not missing the sudden shadow that had crossed the young girl's face. But even though Kyla was already sliding off the bed, she was hesitant about it. She paused for a moment as she got to her feet, looking nervously over at the door.
"Want me to come with you? Larry's nice but he's not the most thrilling conversationalist," JJ quipped lightly, breaking the silence. Kyla turned to face her, a relieved smile breaking onto her face.
"That would be good. I like having someone to chat to"
JJ hopped up, pocketing her phone and a keycard, before slipping her feet into her slides. Even though Kyla was taller than her, she felt like the stronger presence at the young girl's side as they made their way out of the hotel room and down to Larry's.
"So what's it like having a boyfriend?" Kyla asked, her voice once again light and airy as they walked down the hallway.
"Not that different to when he was just my friend," JJ chuckled. "Except now we... you know"
Kyla giggled, nodding knowingly.
"But it's just... nice. It feels really natural. I go to his house and we have dinner together and then we watch a movie. And nine times out of ten, I'll fall asleep, and wake up later in the night cuddled up against his chest and, ugh, I hate being so needy but I would give anything right now just to have him next to me to cuddle at night"
Kyla laughed. "Are you trying to pretend you're not just a huge softy at heart? Because we already know you are"
"I know, I'm pathetic, I can pretend to be a badass all I like but the reality is, I turn into a useless puddle every time Will takes his shirt off"
Kyla laughed again, her voice echoing around the stairwell as they treaded their way down to the next floor. "I've only seen photos of him, but I can't blame you Jayje. He's pretty gorgeous"
"Ky, you should hear him speak. I've only ever noticed this since we started sleeping together but oh my god, his accent, it's just... it gets me going, there's no other way to put it"
Still laughing, Kyla rounded the corner onto the corridor of the next floor. "Seems like you two have a good sex life at least"
JJ shrugged. "It's pretty great, I won't lie. But honestly, while the sex is good, it's just nice to have that person that's always there for you, always supporting you. He's my safe place to fall when I've had a bad day, and he's got the most beautiful heart. I love him so much... and I love how it feels to love him and be loved back"
"Oh stop it, you're too cute," Kyla teased as they stopped outside the door they knew led to Larry's room. Kyla lifted a hand, knocking sharply against the wood.
And just like that, JJ felt the uncomfortable shadow drape over them once again.