Disclaimer: All characters belong to Rooster Teeth Productions
Edited by ToxicExotic
Chapter 83 - Scars
"This feels nice."
With a smile to herself, Weiss gave a nod and cuddled up a little closer to her girlfriend's body, allowing the comforting warmth that exuded from the blonde's body to envelop her. Despite them both laying under a clear sky and blazing sun, she suddenly felt so much warmer.
"It does." Weiss grinned happily. "I feel… free."
It was true. While her classmates were surely a little surprised to see the Weiss Schnee laid on the ground, she couldn't care less about the gazes that frequently turned her way. For the first time in her life, she had found herself without responsibility. There was nowhere to be, and nothing that needed to be done. All she had was time. And she could think of no better way to spend that time than to spend it with her girlfriend.
"Though I do wish you had brought some food with you."
Feeling Yang shake a little with silent chuckles, Weiss looked up and saw that Yang was smiling too. For some odd reason, she was relieved to see it; but she wasn't sure why. Not that it was important, all that mattered was that they were happy.
"We're right next to the cafeteria."
"But your food is better."
"If you're trying to butter me up so that I'll go and get you food, you're gunna have to try harder than that."
Rolling herself over and pushing herself up on all fours so that she was hovering over the woman, Weiss smiled down at her. Gazing into the beautiful lilac eyes, she leaned down and pressed their lips together. Despite being out for a while, such an open act still felt glorious.
"Mmm…" Yang hummed as they parted. "Still not enough."
"Hmm…" Weiss gave her a flirtatious. "And what exactly would be enough?"
"Nothing you'd do in public." Yang smirked, causing Weiss' eyes to roll playfully.
"Ughhh! Fine." She groaned, pushing herself to her knees so that she was straddling the boxer. "What do you want?"
The glowing girl bit her lip and put her arms behind her head, the lilac eyes sweeping over her body. "Well that top gone would be my fir-"
"I meant from the cafeteria, you dolt." Weiss scolded her and lightly slapped the woman's stomach, not that it did much to dissuade her.
"Well you can see how I got confused."
"Just tell me what you want." Weiss laughed, not bothering to mention that the confusion had been entirely intentional.
"Hmm… pulled pork."
"Alright then." Weiss smiled and worked herself up to her feet. "I'll be right back."
"And then we can continue where we left off?"
Throwing a seductive look back at her girlfriend, she moved across the field towards the cafeteria. However, before she was even halfway across the field, she noticed something weird. The further she got from the girl, the darker things became. The shining blonde hair became faded and worn, the brilliant smile on her face turned to a worried frown again. It immediately made her want to stop, to turn back and recover the light that had been lost, but unfortunately, by the time her body caught up to her mind, she had already walked through the heavy wooden door, which slammed shut behind her with a loud bang that reverberated around the cafeteria.
Or at least what should have been a cafeteria. Turning away from the door, she found that she was instead standing in a large, empty room. It's floor was filled with cracks, so much so that it was impossible to make out the pattern that was etched into it. The walls were equally as broken, its numerous windows shattered and their frames twisted. The only intact thing in the room was a long receptionist desk that stood between two collapsed elevators, and on the ground in front of it was a man wearing a black suit.
"Hello?"
There was no reply. The man just laid there unmoving.
"Sir?" She called again, taking a step forward and feeling a chill run down her back. "Are you okay?"
No reply. Worried that he might be hurt, she continued to advance towards the unresponsive man, but with each step the chills that ran down her back only grew stronger. Arriving at his side and kneeling down beside him, she placed a hand on his shoulder and pulled him onto his back.
"Do you nee- OH MY OUM!"
She almost screamed as the man rolled onto his back. His face was pale as a ghost, his brown eyes dull and lifeless. Blood ran down the side of his mouth, the single scarlet line startlingly bright on his ashen skin. After a few seconds though, she felt an odd wetness on her legs and looked down to see her previously white jeans were stained crimson as blood flowed steadily from the man's chest.
"No…" Weiss muttered, reaching out and pressing her hands against the wound. "Nononono!"
It did nothing. Blood flowed like water between her fingers, spilling out onto the floor unendingly and filling the air with a foul stench that Weiss could taste in the back of her throat.
"H-Help." In her panic to stop the bleeding, she forgot she was alone. "HELP!"
"There's no help coming, child."
There it was. The deep, monstrous voice that haunted her dreams, that fueled her nightmares. The voice she had known deep down would return eventually.
"It's just you…" The wet slapping of a heavy footstep meeting the soaked ground came from behind her. "... And me."
Pure terror ran through her body and blood pounded in her ears. Every inch of her shook and she could already feel the fearful tears streaming down her face as she suppressed the urge to vomit.
"Look at me." She shook her head, not wanting to turn around and see him. "LOOK AT ME!"
Though his shout was loud enough to make her jump, it was the clang of metal on tile that caused her the most pain. It rang around the room, echoing off the walls and floors and causing a headache so bad that she thought her head was going to slip open. Not wanting to hear such a horrific noise again, she obeyed and slowly turned around.
Stood by the door in a white vest and black jeans was a man. Gargantuan and muscular, his frame caused her to shrink backwards; a move that caused him to snicker wickedly behind his white mask. In ones of his hands was a long, jagged piece of metal that had been turned into a makeshift sword.
"P-P-Please." She pleaded, falling backwards in her attempt to get away from him. "D-Don't."
Her begging fell on deaf ears, and her back hit the desk. There was nowhere to go. She felt weak, and even though her mind screamed for her to move, her body refused to obey. He would find her… he always did.
"Pathetic." He sneered and walked closer, his heavy footsteps sending waves through the ever-deepening pool of blood. "Finally…"
An arms distance away, he raised the sword and looked down on her.
"Plea-"
"I get to kill a Schnee!"
With a flash of silver, the blade fell.
"Weiss?"
It had been a punch to her stomach that had woken Yang. It had not been particularly strong, nor had it done enough damage to linger more time than it took for her eyes to open, but it had been enough to rouse her from the dream she was having. She was almost thankful at first since the dream had been just as frustrating and depressing as any other she'd had in the last week, though that gratitude had quickly faded when she had seen the reason behind the sudden wakeup.
"Shit."
Wrapped in her arms and shaking like a leaf in the wind was Weiss, her entire body covered in a cold sweat as she jerked violently in her sleep. Having been woken up quite frequently when she was younger by Ruby, who would sneak into her bed for comfort, she immediately recognised what it was. And what had caused it.
"Weiss." She called, pulling back to allow her a little space and giving her a slight shake. "I need you to wake up."
Being a light sleeper, the woman stirred a little, but didn't wake.
"Come on, honey." Yang cooed, giving her girlfriend another slight nudge and suppressing her own growing worry.
Dodging the hand that thrust towards her and catching it by the wrist, Yang heard the girl let out a terrified whimper and quickly let go. A fearful look overcame the heiress' face and Yang felt a pang of pain in her chest at knowing she could do nothing to help her where she was.
"I'm sor-"
Yang was cut off as a horrific scream tore from Weiss' throat and her eyes shot open. Moving backwards slightly as the white-haired woman sat bolt upright, she watched the panicked blue eyes zip around the room as if in search of something that would hurt her. Needing Weiss to know she was safe, Yang moved into her line of sight and placed a hand on one of her legs, only to feel it flinch away again.
"Hey!" She said quietly. "You're safe. You're at home with me."
Any hopes that her words might comfort the girl was lost as not even a hint of recognition registered in her eyes, if anything it only made her look more confused while she struggled with the blanket that had become tangled around her. Not wanting the girl to feel restricted, Yang quickly helped pull the fabric away; however, once she was free, the girl forced herself out of bed and a loud retching sound filled the room.
"Fuck!" She muttered, throwing herself out of bed too and seeing Weiss on all fours, a puddle of vomit below her. "We need to get you to the bathroom."
Unfortunately, as she reached out to rest a hand on the woman's shoulder, a hand came up to slap it away and Weiss scurried over to the corner. Terror and confusion still painted her face and watery eyes scanned her up and down.
"Weiss… Please." She pleaded, getting on her knees in front of the girl. "It's me. It's Yang. I'm not gunna hurt you."
Finally, she saw a flash of understanding in her girlfriend's eyes and a wave of relief rushed through her.
"Y-Yang?" Weiss whispered in a hoarse voice.
"That's right." She nodded and gave the woman a soft smile. "It's me."
"I…" Weiss looked around with uncertainty and her stomach gave a loud groan. "I d-don't feel good. The b-blood…"
She cut herself off, as if unable to speak as more tears ran down her face.
"It's okay." Yang said, holding out her hand again but not daring to touch her without permission. "It was just a nightmare, but I need to get you to the toilet before you throw up again, okay?"
It took a couple of seconds, but the scared girl eventually gave her a small nod. Another wave of relief pulsed through her and she finally lifted the girl to her feet and guided her to the bathroom, careful to avoid the puddle of vomit that she knew would definitely not be the last of the night.
"I'm back." Yang yawned, running a hand through her head.
Receiving no reply, Yang let out a relieved sigh and walked into the living room to see that Weiss was still asleep on the couch; and while she knew it wouldn't last long, she was just happy that the woman was managing to get at least some rest. It had been three o'clock when she'd woken from her nightmare, and though Yang had known that they affected her a lot, to see just how much was something Yang had definitely not been prepared for.
The way Weiss had crawled into the corner of the room and made herself as small as possible, the pure terror on her face, the way she shook uncontrollable; she'd almost looked like a child instead of the confident woman Yang had known for the past eight months; and not much had improved in the hours since. After an hour spent in the bathroom holding back the long white hair, Weiss had refused to return to bed. Partially because the room still smelled of vomit, though the cleaning lady was taking care of that, but also because she seemed frightened to fall back to sleep; not that Yang blamed her.
Since then though, they had spent the rest of the morning in the living room watching the random reruns that littered late night television. Or atleast Yang had. For the most part, Weiss had simply laid with her head in her lap, constantly flitting in and out of consciousness. The naps never lasted long though, normally only a few minutes at a time before the woman would wake with a start and need to be calmed down again, but they did at least seem to be lasting longer each time.
"Fifteen minutes." She muttered to herself, checking her watch and placing the parcel she'd gone to retrieve on the table. "Longest one yet."
Unfortunately, as she looked down at her girlfriend, she saw that the woman's closed eyes were once again fluttering. So kneeling down in front of her, Yang reached out a hand and slowly stroked a hand through Weiss' hair. Almost immediately the blue eyes flew open and a hint of fear resided in them, but it quickly faded as Yang gave her a calm smile.
"Hey." She said softly, running a thumb over one of the puffy cheeks. "It's just me."
Weiss gave a nod and pulled the brown jacket tighter around her.
"Where did you go?" She asked in a quivering voice that sent a pang of pain through Yang.
"Just downstairs." Yang said and tapped the parcel, Weiss' eyes flicking over to it. "Reese's parcel finally came. I'll try it on for you when you're feeling better."
The white-haired beauty gave a small nod and lifted her head. Knowing exactly what she wanted, Yang quickly slipped into place on the couch and allowed Weiss to go back to resting on her lap. Continuing to let her hand run soothingly through Weiss' hair, she pulled that blanket back over them.
"I'm sorry." Weiss breathed, giving a little sniffle and wiping her eyes. "You were not… I thought I was past this."
Yang shook her head. "You're fine. Nobody expects you to just get over what happened."
Especially not with bitches like Tock running around, she thought bitterly to herself.
"I know…" Weiss muttered and shifted a little. "It is just… with everything that happened; my father, the media, that girl; I guess I've been on edge a little. But I th-thought I was stronger than this."
Her insides twisted at that confession and Jacques' words rang in her head, just as they had been ever since his visit. Pushing them aside though, just as she had been doing all morning since that was definitely not the energy Weiss needed, she used a thumb to wipe away one of the tears that began to form in the woman's eye.
"You are." Yang countered. "This is just one of those days we all have. It's nothing to be ashamed of."
Feeling Weiss give a small nod into her lap, Yang reached over to the side table and grabbed the bottle of water that was sat there. Angling the straw into Weiss' mouth so that she didn't have to get up, she waited for the woman to take a sip before pulling it away. Thankfully, while she was adamantly refusing any food offered to her, she didn't seem to mind drinking in small quantities.
"Thank you."
"Mhm." She placed the empty bottle back on the table. "You really should eat something though."
"I'm not hungry."
"Just a slice of dry toast?"
The girl shook her head and Yang sighed internally. She knew that was not a good sign, and that there wasn't anything she could do about it. After all, she couldn't force the woman to eat.
"Alright," She breathed. "But let me know when you are, okay? I'm here all day so I can cook whatever you want."
Once again, Weiss shook her head.
"You and Tai have therapy."
"I can reschedule that."
Another shake of the head.
"I don't want you to." For the first time all morning, Weiss' voice held the same strength and conviction it usually did, but it quickly faded. "Please don't put off fixing your relationship for this."
"But what about you." Yang asked. "I'm not gunna leave you here alone."
"Call Win… Call Whitley."
Yang didn't miss the first part. While she knew Weiss loved her brother, she didn't doubt that Winter was really who she wanted. As cold as the older Schnee could be, knew that the woman was always willing to do anything to make Weiss feel safe. Unfortunately, despite the clear lengths Winter would go to to be at Weiss' side, even she couldn't get from one country to another in ninety minutes.
"Alright." Yang nodded, still not fond of leaving her but knowing better than to argue with her. "I'll call him, but you have to at least try and eat something for me when I get back, okay?"
She wasn't sure if it was a lie or not, but Weiss gave a small nod of her head. However, knowing it was the best she was going to get, she gave the girl a smile.
"Alright." She nodded. "I'm gunna get you some more water and call him."
After letting Weiss sit up, Yang pushed herself up from the chair and pressed a kiss against the woman's forehead. Thankfully she no longer felt cold, but there was still a little clamminess that she knew would persist for a little while longer.
"I'll be right back." She smiled.
Earning a weak smile in return as Weiss pulled the blanket tighter around herself, Yang grabbed the water bottle and the heiress Scroll and made her way out of the room. Opening the device as she entered the kitchen, she quickly found Whitley's number and hit call. It took almost a minute, but the boy eventually answered with a frustrated tone.
"You are aware that I was in the middle of class, right, Sister?"
Crap, Yang thought to herself. With everything that had happened, she'd completely forgotten that it was a school day.
"Sorry." She muttered and filled up the bottle. "And it's Yang by the way."
"Oh." He paused. "Why are you calling me?"
The boy remained quiet as Yang filled him in on what had happened, and even though she couldn't see his reaction she could tell he was just as troubled by it as she was by the small sighs that escaped him.
"Well that is hardly a surprise." If Yang wasn't mistaken, there was a slight hint of sympathy in his voice. "She has never liked hearing mention of that day, and all of this attention to your past was bound to set it off at some point."
"Thanks." Yang groaned and leaned against the sink. "Way to make me feel worse."
"Would you rather I lie to you?" She could hear the scowl on his face.
"No." She breathed and shook her head. "Look, Weiss isn't letting me cancel this appointment, and someone needs to be here for her. Someone she trusts."
"Well I am at school." The boy replied. "But I will see what I can do."
"Thank you."
"Mhm." The boy mumbled. "I will text you when it is sorted."
"Alright. By-"
The call ended before she could finish her goodbye and Yang let out a sigh, dropping the Scroll onto the counter. Being told straight up that her past was the reason that Weiss had been so easily affected by what happened was not exactly something she wanted to hear. Mostly because she'd already been telling herself that for most of the morning, but also because it only pilled more guilt onto what she had been feeling for the past week.
She knew she should have been letting what Jacques had said affect her, knew that it was his intention to shake her and create doubt; but she also knew that none of what he'd said had been wrong. She had coasted for her entire school and college life, only ever doing the bare minimum to pass and never trying to push herself to be more. And despite having spent the week pouring over books on business and sitting in on lectures, all those things did was highlight just how little she knew. No matter how much time she put into it, no matter how much she read or listened to, she understood none of it.
But Weiss wasn't like that. Weiss excelled and strived to be the best in everything she did, especially business. The heiress was always happiest when she was leading and organising, when she was in charge and doing things that actually mattered. And if the past month of being Jacques' assistant had proven anything, it was that she would definitely not allow herself to be held back. Sadly though, Yang knew that's exactly what she would be doing.
Her past, her friends, her family. Everything about her was going to create doubt, and doubt would mean that opportunities would lessen. And with it becoming increasingly obvious to Yang that she understood nowhere enough about business to start her own, how was she meant to give back any of what she was taking away? And how would Weiss feel about that in the future? She was fine with it now, but even Raven had said that people changed, that the world shaped them into something different, so how would it shape Weiss?
It was those questions that had been rattling around her head for the last week. And Weiss quitting her job after feeling held back had definitely not helped matters. She knew it wasn't the same, that Jacques was purposely doing it, but the woman had still been unhappy and unwilling to abide by it. That anger in her voice, the frustration in her eyes, they had only served to heighten the fears that one day she would regret their relationship.
"Yang?"
Pulled from her thoughts by Weiss' concerned voice, Yang realised that she had been standing at the sink for too long. A look at her watch showed that a good five minutes had passed since leaving the room, so with a shake of her head, she let go of the sink and wiped a tear from her cheek.
"C-Coming."
Stupid, Yang. Today is not the day for this shit, Yang thought to herself and splashed a little water on her face. Weiss needed her to be strong, not doubtful; so wiping herself dry and putting on a brave face, she picked up the water bottle and the Scroll, upon which was a message from Whitley telling her it was sorted, and made her way back into the front room to comfort her girlfriend.
Yang knew she was late as she pushed through the doors and arrived into the reception area. Not only had Whitley been late, so much so that she'd had to leave before he'd even shown up, but construction had made getting to the building a nightmare. Thankfully though, it was only ten minutes past when the appointment was supposed to start, and she'd already texted her dad to tell him that she would likely be late.
"Yang." The man said with a small hint of relief as he stood from one of the chairs.
"Sorry." She blustered to both Tai and the receptionist, who gave an understanding smile and picked up the phone.
"It's fine." Her dad said gave her a concerned look. "Though fine is not a word I'd use to describe you today. You look exhausted."
"I know." Yang sighed and shook her hair to get rid of her helmet-head. "Some asshole decided to set off Weiss' PTSD for fun, so it's been a shit night."
"What?" He sounded just as appalled as she had when Blake had told her. "Then you should have cancelled to stay with her. This can wait..."
"I was going to but Weiss' wo-"
She was cut off by a polite cough, and looked aside to see the receptionist giving her a smile. "Dr Darq says you can go straight in."
Taking a deep breath and running a hand through her hair, Yang placed her helmet on the woman's desk and gave her dad a hard look.
"I'm here now anyway," She exhaled and pointed to the door. "So let's just do this."
Though she certainly hadn't intended it to sound dismissive, she knew that it had. Feeling a little guilty due to knowing that was exactly the kind of behavior he had spoken about at their last session, Yang took another deep breath as the man walked towards the door and closed her eyes to calm herself. Unfortunately, with it having been a few weeks since she'd last meditated, the calm eluded her and she once again had to settle for simply pushing it down instead.
Burying it all and putting a lid on it for the time being, she took another breath, opened her eyes, and followed her dad into Darq's office.
"Good afternoon." Darq smiled at them both from behind his desk wearing the exact same clothes he had before.
"Afternoon." They both replied.
"I hope you both had a good two weeks."
Both of them gave little more than a small mutter as they sat down. While she would hardly consider the past week good, that was not what she was there to talk about. Looking over to her dad, she saw that he too was looking a little ragged with his stubbled once again unshaved.
"I see." The man hummed and quickly jotted something down. "Then I promise to understand if either of you feel inclined to be a little less talkative today."
Yang gave the man a grateful nod and watched him sit up in his chair and entwine his fingers.
"So the last time you were here, we made some good progress on what it is exactly that you two want from each other going forward; but we also talked a little on how things are at home. You both expressed that you felt it was a tense environment, so I would like to go back in time a little bit and try to understand the cause of this tension. Do either of you recall a time when this wasn't the case? And if so, what do you remember about?"
They were both silent for a minute as they thought back, but it was Tai who raised his hand first. Darq gave him an acknowledging nod.
"For me, the last time I can remember was before my wife died." He said, a heaviness to his voice. "She definitely threw her share of temper tantrums, but most of the time she was the happiest kid alive. We'd always joke around and tease Summer, and she would always come to me asking to do things together. I remember we used to make tents in the field behind the house every friday and camp out. It was never far from the house, but I enjoyed it."
Yang remembered that. As he said, it had never been more than a few feet from the house, but they'd always acted as if it was the middle of nowhere. They'd use sheets to block the house from view and spent the entire night talking about Mistral or their family. It was also during those camping sessions where she had first taken an interest in cooking, as Tai had stationed a fire pit in the area to cook fish they'd catch from the nearby stream.
"It sounds like you had a good relationship." Darq smiled and noted it down.
"We did." Tai nodded.
"Would you agree, Yang?" Knowing she had absolutely been a daddy's girl as a kid, she gave a nod. "And would you say that what your last memory of when things weren't tense at home lines up with what your dad just said?"
"Not really." She said truthfully with a shrug and crossed her arms.
While Tai looked at her curiously, Darq simply gave her an understanding nod and wrote something down again.
"Would you like to go a little deeper?"
Yang stayed quiet for a moment. She certainly knew when things had changed for her, but she didn't know how to say it without making her dad feel worse than he already did about that time.
"It's perfectly fine if you don't." Darq added in a friendly voice. "But as I said last session, you can only get out of these sessions what you are willing to put into them."
"Fine…" She breathed and felt her knee begin to shake. "It was after."
"After your mother passed aw-"
"Died."
Darq's eyebrows raised slightly at Yang's interruption. She still hated that people thought Summer had passed away. Passing away implied peace, it gave the impression that everybody involved had some closure or some time to prepare. But there was none of that for them. Summer had died, she had been suddenly torn from the world leaving nothing but a hole behind in everyone who knew her. A hole that could never truly heal.
"My mom didn't pass away. She died."
"My apologies." Darq acknowledged and scribbled something down. "So things changed after your mother died?"
Yang nodded.
"After mom died, he made me feel safe. He was around more, he took care of us, and he'd let us get into bed with him when we couldn't sleep. He made me feel like everything was going to be okay… and then he stopped."
Glancing to her side, she saw that her dad was looking away from her. And while a part of her felt bad for making him feel such a way, another part of her felt glad to finally say that in the open.
"And should I assume that this all stopped around the time he began to drink heavily?" Yang gave another nod. "Mmm, interesting." He thumbed through the large file that Yang knew to be Tai's. "And roughly how long after Summer's death would you say this happened?"
"I dunno." Yang shrugged. It had been hard to keep track of the days back then. "Two, maybe three, weeks."
"I see."
The man hummed appreciatively and fell silent as he read through the papers. It was at least a minute later that he noted something down and turned his attention back to Tai.
"Tai." He said with a thoughtful look. "I see the answer that you gave to your rehabilitation therapist here, but would you mind clarifying for me why it is that you feel you started drinking?"
"I…" Yang's eyebrows raised, as for the first time Tai did not seem ready with an answer. "Summer had been there almost every day of my life, and waking up knowing I could never see her again was too painful."
"Hmm." The doctor hummed. "I have no doubt that would be an extremely painful thing to do, but, and forgive me for this, I can't help but wonder if there is maybe a little more to it."
"What do you mean?" Yang asked. She'd thought all of that had been dealt with long ago.
"Well…"
Darq sat back in his chair and motioned a hand toward the file causing a slight hint of fear to jolt through her at what was about to possibly be revealed.
"Your dad was at the rehabilitation center for two months, during which time he attended daily therapy sessions. However, the story you just told was never mentioned. In fact, his own words during the session give off the impression that his drinking began within a week of Summer's death. Almost a month's worth of time is a lot to leave out, Tai."
Yang looked over at her dad and saw him staring at his lap.
"I find it curious that you and Yang share different views on when this tension between you both began. While Yang's recollection is after you began drinking, yours is after your wife's death, almost a month prior. I also couldn't help but notice that you looked away from Yang when she spoke of that month, and in my experience that often means that the person is uncomfortable with what is being said. So, considering these parts have seemingly been purposely omitted, my gut tells me that you are aware of why it is you were uncomfortable with Yang's story."
Tai looked away again, but this time Yang saw actual pain in his eyes before he did. What Darq had just said had clearly struck a nerve, and from her dad's reaction Yang knew immediately that the man's assumption was right.
"Dad?"
"I…" He shook his head.
"This is a safe space to talk, Tai."
Yang watched as her dad's body began to shake. Finally though, after almost a minute, he spoke in a voice so quiet that she was barely able to hear it.
"I wasn't… I wasn't ready to have kids."
Silence filled the room, and Yang tried to process what the man had just admitted.
"What?" She said when her attempt failed. Despite her attempt to keep it in check, even she heard the anger in her voice.
"Neither of you were planned." He said in a strained voice. "It was easy with Summer there because she always wanted kids and knew how to do it all, but when she was gone it all fell to me. All those moments after she died, you and Ruby waking me up when I could barely sleep myself, always asking for things when I was barely keeping it together. I just…"
He paled and shook his head.
"I just wanted you both to be quiet and leave me alone."
Yang was quiet.
"I never brought it up because I knew it was wrong to feel that way, and when the drinking stopped and I left rehab, my mind was clearer. I still didn't know if I was ready, but at the very least things felt easier aft-"
She didn't even bother to stop the scoff that left her. Almost immediately, Darq raised his eyebrow at her and noted something down.
"I have no doubt that you have something to say, Yang, and I will happily hear you out, but I would like for your dad to finish what he was saying first." He said calmly.
After a few seconds of silence, Darq motioned for Tai to continue; which, after a hesitant look in her direction, he did.
"When I got home, things felt easier. I still woke up every morning missing Summer, but I wasn't struggling as much and decided to do everything I could to make sure I was ready to be a dad to you."
Shaking her head and letting out a humorous chuckle, she felt anger rushing through her system once again. Of course things had been easier for him.
"Can I?" She asked Darq hotly.
"Feel free."
"Good." She turned angrily on her dad. "Do you want to know why things were easier for you? It's because you didn't have to actually do anything. You were able to sit back and be the cool dad you always wanted to be because by the time you left rehab I had already done all the work for you!"
"I was the one who comforted her after mom died. I was the one who helped her with school work. I did the cooking and the cleaning and made sure her life didn't fall apart. I was even the one who got her diagnosed and helped her through that. You say you weren't ready to be a dad at twenty-seven? Well I wasn't ready to be a mom at seven, yet I still did it despite just losing mine. Things were easy for you? Well lucky you, because they were never easy for me!"
"Things weren't easy for me eith-"
"Please, I gave you a free fucking ride!" She spat. "I sacrificed everyth-"
"I lost things too, Yang."
Darq gave a pointed cough, but Yang ignored him.
"Like fuck you did. What did yo-"
"I LOST YOU!"
His voice echoed throughout the room, assaulting Yang's ears and causing her to flinch; and despite her anger, she immediately fell quiet. It had been quite some time since he'd last shouted at her, a few years at least, but never before had she heard him shout like that. Even in her heated state, she heard the pain behind those words.
"You think I don't know what you had to do in my place?" He said, his voice just as angry as hers had been. "You think I don't see what you still do? I promise you I do. And because I see it I know that you don't need me anymore."
"I can be a dad to Ruby, but you? You were my little girl, my firecracker, and you outgrew me before I even had a chance to fix myself. Because of my mistakes, because of my issues, I missed out on it and all I can do now is watch as you live your life knowing that the only real thing I have ever given you is pain and hardship, knowing that there is not a moment of your childhood that either of us can look back on happily. So don't you dare say I've lost nothing, because to me that is everything."
Whatever anger had been left in Yang quickly faded as she saw the tears in her dad's eyes. Seeing the man cry was a much more common occurrence than hearing him shout, but it still hit her just as hard. While her words had been true, in her anger she'd forgotten just how heavily those truths weighed on the man.
"I didn't…" She muttered, but shook her head and looked down. "I'm sorry."
Tai didn't respond, but out of the corner she saw him look down too and silence filled the space between them, the only sound being the scratching of a pen on paper.
"That probably wasn't a good sign, was it?" Yang muttered.
"On the contrary, I think it was rather healthy." Darq said in a light tone. "People have this misconception regarding anger, that it is ugly and something that should be squashed; but there are moments where anger can push us to tell our truths. Even ones that we would rather not say for fear of hurting a loved one's feelings. It may not lead to those truths being said in the healthiest of ways, but at least once they are said we can begin to unpack them."
Yang doubted that. Throughout her whole life, her anger had never done anything but get her into trouble.
"For example… Yang." He sat back and put his notepad on his lap. "You said that when Tai began to drink you were forced to raise your sister on your own. That one day things changed, and that you were suddenly faced with a responsibility you had no way to prepare for?"
"I was a kid." Yang replied, knowing that he was getting at. "He wasn't."
"That is true." Darq nodded. "A factor that shows how strong of a person you are. However, just like with anger, age is often misunderstood. Society tells us that with each passing year we should be smarter and more capable to handle whatever life throws our way, when in reality that growth comes not from age, but experience. So, what happens when life throws something at us that we have yet to experience?"
"But he raised us for seven years before that. He wasn't inexperienced."
"He raised you with the help of your mother." Darq clarified and wrote something down. "You have been raising your sister for… twelve years now, and in those twelve years was there ever anyone who helped you?"
Yang didn't even have to think about that question. From the moment they'd become friends, she had always been willing to help Ruby with anything she'd needed, treating the girl as if she was family.
"My friend, Blake." She nodded.
"And since she came into the picture, has that burden lessened at all? Or does it remain the same?"
Yang thought back to when Blake had started to become a regular around the house, and realised that things had indeed become much easier. While she had still had to make sure that Ruby was clean and fed and ready for school, Blake had quite frequently taken her place when it came to homework. She'd also had someone to talk to, to share her day with and even someone to take care of Ruby when she needed some time alone.
"It has."
"Now can you imagine yourself in your dad's position? Spending seven years with Blake by your side. Helping you, sharing in your responsibility of a truly daunting task, only to one day disappear and leave you to shoulder that burden alone."
That was definitely not a scenario Yang wanted to think about. Losing Blake would be like losing a part of herself. It hadn't just been Ruby that the girl had helped her with, but also with almost every other aspect of her life. From the bullying at school, to the issues with her dad, Blake had been there through it all… Just like Summer had for Tai.
She too had been his childhood friend, present for almost every part of his life. Being married, raising children, they were likely only a few of the things she'd helped the man through in their time together. And given what Tai had told her about his drinking habits in high school, Yang had to wonder if that was something else her mom had helped him with.
"I… suppose so." Yang mumbled.
He gave a small nod and wrote something down.
"It's completely fine if you find yourself unable to relate fully." Darq smiled and looked up at her. "As you said, the situations are different, I'm simply trying to help you find that middle ground."
Giving the man a nod of understanding and looking over to her dad, she saw that he was running a hand through his hair. It wasn't hard to figure out why, as she was fairly confident as to what came next.
"And to that aim." He smiled. "Would you mind repeating what you said about the last time you felt there was no tension at home for me?"
Though she was confused, Yang agreed and repeated what she had said earlier about how her dad had made her feel safe after her mom's death. Seeing his eyes flicker over to Tai, she turned towards him as she spoke and saw that he was once again looking away from her.
"Did you hear that, Tai?" Darq said once she was finished. "Despite all your fears that you weren't ready to be a dad, your daughter thinks quite highly of what you consider your darkest days. In fact, during her darkest days, you were succeeding in making her feel safe. Now I'm not one myself, but that to me sounds like exactly what a good dad should be doing."
"I didn't feel like a good dad." He muttered.
"Then I think that is what we should focus on in our next session." Darq smiled and placed his notepad on the desk.
Looking down at her watch, Yang saw that there were only five minutes left of their session. She hadn't realised that time had flown by that quickly, but she definitely felt more tired.
"So are you gunna tell us what our issue is today?" Yang asked curiously.
She had expected the man to tell them no after that display, but to her surprise he gave them both a smile and nodded his head.
"I'm still not one hundred percent certain." He said with a hum. "But it is my belief that both of you still hold a lot of past trauma close to your chest."
"Yang, your anger and resentment towards your dad for the burden he placed on your shoulders has made you distrustful towards letting him in. You are so used to doing things on your own and so scared of him letting you down again that you keep him at a distance, which only furthers your tendency to become irritable when he tries to offer his support."
Yang definitely couldn't deny that there was still some soreness in that area.
"As for you, Tai. You acknowledge that Yang has grown beyond the point of needing a father figure in her life, but your fixation on making up for your past failures causes you to try and reclaim what you know has already been lost. Unfortunately, that will only end in disappointment, which in turn only reinforces your belief that you are unable to make amends."
From the look on Tai's face, it seemed Darq's words had struck a note with him too.
"Which is why," Darq continued. "Before our next appointment, I would like you to do something together. Tai, you said that the both of you liked to camp, so find a nice spot and, whether it's for an hour or two, just talk. Not of your past, or your problems, but of your present and your future. I want you to try and create a new memory that can help remind you both of the last time that you felt comfortable in each other's presence."
"You think that'll work?" Yang asked.
"You two have a lot of painful memories together that revolve around resentment and guilt. And while these sessions are hopefully going to help undo those knots, it's also important that you start getting comfortable being around each other again."
Yang supposed that was a valid point. After all, what was the point of working out their issues if they weren't sure how to even be around each other without arguing. So giving the man a nod, she stood up and held out her hand.
"We'll give it a try." She agreed as the man shook her hand. "Right, dad?"
"Y-Yeah." He replied, a hint of worry in his voice.
"That's all I ask." Darq smiled and bowed his head. "I look forward to hearing how it goes."
With a smile, that was only slightly forced, she dropped the man's hand and exchanged a quick goodbye. She was almost certain she would never look back on the session fondly, but at the very least Darq seemed to be satisfied with what had happened, so she supposed that was just how therapy was sometimes. Even as she followed her dad out of the door, Raven's words echoed in her head.
Things will get worse before they get better.
"I'm home."
Stepping into the apartment and dropping her keys into the bowl beside the elevator door, Yang let out a low sigh and ran a hand through her hair. The fact that even riding her bike was no longer enough to pull her thoughts away from things was more than a little annoying.
"Weiss?" She called, receiving no reply. "You asleep?"
"She is."
The unfamiliar, female voice caught Yang off guard and she looked up to see Weiss' mom stood in the entryway to the kitchen. She looked better than Yang had ever seen her. Her hair was neat and swept to the side, clearly having been recently cut and styled, her clothes were pristine, and for once she looked alive. Unlike everytime Yang had seen her, there was no far off look in her eyes, instead they were clear and bright, almost exactly like her daughter's.
"For half an hour now."
"Good." Yang breathed and shrugged her jacket off.
While she was glad that Weiss was improving, albeit slowly, a sudden feeling of awkwardness fell upon her as she realised that meant she and Willow would be alone for the first time ever. And Willow while was not like Jacques, not even remotely, the woman was still Weiss' mom and someone the heiress loved.
"I'm guessing Whitley called you?" Yang asked, having expected to come home and find the younger boy there instead.
"Mhm." The woman confirmed. "Begrudgingly. He also told me what happened."
"Good." Yang nodded and motioned towards the kitchen. "You want a drink?"
"You don't have to go out of your way." The woman said respectfully.
"I'm making myself one anyway." Yang suppressed a yawn and scratched the back of her head while walking to the kitchen. "Coffee or tea?"
"A coffee then, please." She relented and followed, sitting down at the isle.
"Water or milk?"
"Milk."
Nodding and pulling out what she needed she sorted out the cups, flipping the stove on and placed a pot of milk onto a ring. While for it to boil, she rested her arms against the counter and stretched them. The day had definitely been the most trying one she'd had in some time, and the fact that nothing had been said between her and Tai after the session had not exactly been a positive sign.
"How's she doing?" She asked after a few minutes of awkward silence, looking over her shoulder towards the room she knew Weiss would be asleep in.
"Scared." Willow replied in a sad voice.
"I don't blame her." Yang breathed, pouring the heated liquid into the mugs and stirring them. "But I talked to my friend on the way back. She was there last night."
"And what did she say?"
Turning around and placing the cup down on the table, she sat on the other side of the isle and took a sip of her drink. Even the wonderful taste of strawberry that filled her mouth wasn't enough to raise her spirits.
"She said the girl who did it is being charged."
"Good."
It was only there for a second, but Yang saw a shadow pass over the woman's eyes, but didn't blame her. Yang agreed, and even Blake had seemed relieved about the fact Tock was being charged when she'd told her.
"Yeah." Yang hummed. "Apparently the district attorney showed up this morning and said she's filing domestic terrorism charges against her too."
Willow's eyebrow raised in surprise, and Yang once again understood how the woman felt. She too had been surprised that the situation was being handled so seriously. Especially since it sounded like the decision had come from nowhere after the police had originally filed assault with intent to harm charges.
"I am guessing that would be my other daughter." Willow theorised and took a sip of her drink. "Since the incident, she has kept an ear to the ground for any White Fang activity in Vale."
That definitely made a lot more sense. Though Yang didn't know how Winter could have influenced the district attorney, she definitely wouldn't put it past her. Especially given that the attack was against Weiss.
"Makes sense." Yang yawned. "Either way, eyewitnesses saw her running away and she was caught with a mask, so she's going down for a long time."
"So the day ends with good news." Willow concluded with zero sympathy in her voice.
Had it been any other day, Yang might have had some herself. After all, even she didn't like all the restrictions that had been placed on the faunus and the White Fang since the incident; especially since the measures taken were quite often a little intrusive to their privacy. However, with everything that had happened, with how terrified she had seen her girlfriend last night, she couldn't find it within herself to feel anything for Tock.
"Mhm." Yang yawned.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Willow give her a worried look.
"You could probably do with getting some rest too." She said and cradled her drink.
Yang shook her head. She didn't want to be asleep when Weiss woke up. "I'm good." She replied.
"Are you sure?" Willow asked cautiously. "It's not uncommon for patients to feel tired after therapy sessions, and given the morning you've had…"
"I'm fine." Yang replied. It came out a little shorter than she intended, but Willow didn't seem to take offence.
"My apologies." The woman backpedaled. "That wasn't my place."
"It's fine." Thankfully that one came out a little less heated. "Sorry. It just… wasn't a good session, is all."
"If you want to talk…"
Yang was unsure. While she appreciated the offer, she wasn't exactly keen to talk about what had been said in the session, especially not when thinking back on it still made her want to shout and throw something. However, Yang also knew that the woman in front of her had, and probably still was, gone through a lot of what Tai had. After a couple of minutes of silence though, she made up her mind.
"When did…" She paused and shook her head. "When did you know you were ready for kids?"
Willow looked taken aback for a second, but quickly recovered.
"I didn't." She said, looking down at her coffee. "And if I were to be honest, I'm still not."
"You're not?"
The Schnee gave a shake of her head. "Given how my son hates me, that much is clear. But, as a good man once told me, though I may have failed before, that does not mean I cannot try again. It is in retrying that we learn from our mistakes; and if I try hard enough, then maybe one day I will get the chance to show how much I have changed and earn my childrens' forgiveness."
That hardly made Yang feel any better. While the woman's answer was much more forward and open than Tai's had been, it was still exactly the same one, serving only to make her question if that really was just how most parents felt. Tai, Raven, Willow, even she herself; none of them had felt ready when the time had come. Had Summer felt ready? Or was she simply like her, trying her best and hoping she was doing a good job? Unfortunately though, that would just be another one of those things that she would never know.
"And if they don't forgive you?" Yang asked curiously.
While sadness entered her eyes, there was also a hint of acceptance. "Then that is their choice. I will not stop being there for them should they need me, but the bed I made is my own, and I shall lie in it."
Another answer that did nothing to make her feel better, only confirming that it was now down to her to decide whether she could forgive her dad or not.
"Thanks." She sighed and pushed herself to her feet, having much more to think about than she had before.
"Of course." The woman said with a courteous nod.
"Anyway." She breathed and finished her drink. "I'mma check on Weiss real quick. You can stay for lunch if you'd like?"
"I would like that." Willow smiled, taking another sip of her drink.
A/N
Hello everyone.
You thought the nightmares were over, huh? Well... sadly they are never over for Weiss ;-;
Real talk though, I really wanted to show this aspect of Weiss' PTSD in full. I showed buts and pieces of it in much earlier chapters, but the time finally came to give a full look at what it is Weiss experiences. I tried my best to make it as authentic as possible, so hopefully the scene came across well.
As for the Tai and Yang scene, you were warned that not every session would go so well xD Seriously though, that scene was tough to write. I tried my best to keep both sides understandable and balance.
If there is any chapter, of all the chapters, I would appreciate feedback on, it is this one. So please leave your thoughts if you feel so inclined, I would be glad to hear them :)
Reviews
timrocks99, KaijuKnight, Zoro50, and jm4reader, thank you all so much for your continued comments :D
Guest - I'm glad you are enjoying the story and the elements I've explored :D I tried my best to show as many sides as I could in that chapter, so I'm happy you liked it. The Weiss stuff was also good to explore again, and as you can tell that exploration is not over.