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Chapter 83

Loyalty & Love

"She's like the wind through my tree
She rides the night next to me
She leads me through moonlight
Only to burn me with the sun
She's taken my heart
But she doesn't know what she's done"

– She's Like The Wind by Patrick Swayze

Frosty wind howled so loudly and blew so swiftly that it almost uprooted the surrounding trees. Earth stood hard as iron, rippling water like a stone, frozen in one spot. Snow had commenced to fall; it fell gently and softly, covering the camp with its white, bleak beauty. At one glance, it was quite lovely to behold the winter wonderland that seemed to be taking shape around the settlement, yet there was such coldness...emptiness and feeling of uncertainty looming over everyone. The bitter, cold snow was unwelcome, for it only represented the ice that had settled in the hearts of many.

Clear, dainty little flakes jewelled her long lashes, as her sapphire eyes were drawn to the grey sky. Snow whirled round and round her delicate form as if weaving into a mystical dance that seemed to be meant for her alone. Enclosed by the winter white, a single loved and precious sight of her colt, was the sole thing she paid attention to other than the great, cloudy sky. Safely tucked behind his mother's flowing tail, Wanbli pressed his small body against the warmth of his mother and dozed off. Rain could do nothing but smile at her son's growing courage. He was no longer a newborn colt, unable to sleep without lying down. Here, he stood resting like a true, noble mustang, his legs locked and sturdy. Her heart galloped wildly when she realized that in couple of months her darling baby would be a yearling... and then slowly mature into a...stallion. A stallion! My, how the time flies! But like the wind that never truly ceases to blow in the winter, so did the dark thoughts hovered over Rain once again as she recalled the words A Horse With No Name had rasped to her, Spirit and Misty.

"...they will...do this to all of you...if you... don't...if you...don't...run"

In spite of her outwardly composure, she quivered, her heart lurching within her. Her throat closed up and her lip trembled. She felt like she was suffocating, even though the cold air around her was crisp and bountiful. Every time she tried to escape that choice, it always came back to haunt her. Seemingly she had made her decision a while ago, but so much had changed since then. What can I do? How can I protect those I love? Fresh tears welled up in her blue pools as she tried to avert her gaze from her innocent colt. There was a time when she knew where she belonged and what she wanted to do with her life...what she was born to do. Yet now...she was so confused and uncertain where her place lay. What is the right thing to do? She wondered desperately, her glossy gaze moving upwards once more. How could she keep the ones she loved safe when those individuals belonged in different places? If it were possible to tear herself in half, she'd gladly do it. But she knew that it all came down to a familiar dreaded choice yet again.

In the sprinkle of white flurries, she spotted a figure – a human figure – nearing her. The gentle voice and a loving touch that followed, put her mind at ease...at least for a brief second. Little Creek rubbed her forehead and whispered to her sweetly. "How I love you, my loyal girl." He brushed her along the soft muzzle and looked up into her intelligent eyes. "I promised you I'd keep you safe, didn't I?"

Truly, ever since her mother withered like a spring flower, Little Creek had become her constant companion. He was her everything. "My father, my mother, my brother, my friend." Oh, how she had hoped and wished to repay him someday by bravely serving him in battle, especially in times like these. But it appeared as though she could no longer entertain such an idea. Things had drastically changed since then. Most importantly, it was she who had changed. Then again, her two-legged friend had changed as well. He was now a warlord of his tribe...he was now Crazy Horse, destined for greatness...someone who'd go down in history like a legend. Nevertheless, he would need loyal companions to assist him in this new role...the ones he could trust till the end. There is no one as important for a warrior as their trusty steed. It hurt Rain to know that she was unable to provide that for him. He deserved a reciprocation of her love and friendship. After all, he had done so much for her.

Little Creek knelt down, his eyes focusing on the adorable pinto colt by Rain's side. "You must guard your precious foal, my girl." He murmured to her. "It's unsafe here. I cannot be selfish and keep you here with me when I know that you will be safer elsewhere...safer in the wild." His voice was dejected, yet filled with hope. If he couldn't protect Black Buffalo Woman, at least he could protect Rain and her foal. At least he could do that one thing right.

"Thank you for your loyalty and love, my sweet girl." Little Creek stood up, staring into her clever blue orbs. "But we both know where you belong...and it's not here." He sighed and wrapped his arms around her velvety neck.

I love you, Little Creek. Forever and always, my brother. Rain gently blew through her nostrils and nibbled at his braids. She had made up her mind in that very second. I cannot desert you. I will not.

Spirit watched the interaction between Rain and Little Creek through the thick curtains of snow. He wasn't entirely sure what was going on inside their hearts, but he could only guess. He allowed them to have a moment and once he saw Little Creek stepping back and giving a quick pet to Rain, he approached them with cautious movements. Noticing the stallion, Little Creek strode over to him, a sad smile wore on his face. "Forgive me." He reached out and loosened Spirit's braided mane, taking an eagle feather – which he had placed – from his dark tresses. "You shouldn't be here because of me, brother. You were born for freedom. If my people and I have to fight for it, doesn't mean you should." He swept the black forelock from the stallion's brown eyes. "You can go, Spirit. Take good care of them. You have a wonderful herd." He gestured toward Misty and her foal standing on the edge of the camp. "Be a responsible band stallion and take them to safety. Go home, my brother under the sun." With that, he turned and walked back to the heart of the settlement, ready to discuss their upcoming battle plan with Sitting Bull and the other warriors.

Spirit gazed after him with a sorrowful expression. Did he really think it was that easy to leave? Just up and gallop without looking back? He was involved now. One thing was certain though; he must get Rain, Misty and the two colts to a danger-free place. They had to return back to the Cimarron herd where his mother and Bolder devotedly awaited them. With a heavy exhale, Spirit's brown eyes drifted back to Rain. It was fascinating. This mare appeared to be a shapeshifter. How could she be the fire that lit his heart ablaze and the ice that made him wince at the same time? Her love and warmth was always as sweet as the summer rain, but she had another side to her. When she wanted, she could be cold, hard and unbreakable like sleet. A sleet that could cut through like a knife. And stubborn...oh, she could be so stubborn. It drove him crazy because he too was stubborn as a mule. Fighting and arguing with her was pointless, for they were both unwilling to give up their position. Lately, however, her extreme stubbornness had resulted into a development of patience inside Spirit...something he usually lacked. In fact, his stubbornness also created the similar, patient quality in Rain. Perhaps, that's what love is all about? Making sacrifices, changing and compromising for the sake of others. It was this exact thought that worried Spirit. They were both relentless and headstrong when it came to keeping their loved ones safe, including each other. Sighing, Spirit prepared himself for a battle that was bound to break out. However, this was a battle he was determined to win till his last breath...he'd certainly see to it.

Before heading straight for the combat, he let his gaze linger on his opponent. Today, she was different. She was not a rushing yet gentle river against his blazing flames. She was not like a warm spring rain that nourishes the earth. She was an endless ocean...unreadable and vast. She was like an ice pellet...beautiful, but cold and hard to break. Well, he too was unbreakable...like a granite.

Her flaxen mane stirred in the wind, it were like the locks of snow itself. "He's letting us go." Her voice was monotonic, emotionless.

"Yes, indeed." Spirit stopped in front of her, his gaze burned through her. "Look, Rain...I know what you're thinking."

"And I know what you're thinking." She returned, her face was paled with worry, but her eyes shone with resolution.

Who were they trying to fool? They both knew each other far too well. "I already spoke with Misty. You'll both be protected in the herd of Cimarron. My sons will be safe there." He emphasized, hoping this would do the trick. She couldn't possibly be considering on remaining in a war zone along with their colt? Oh, Rain...why are you so unbelievably loyal and stubborn? And he loved her because of it.

"Let me guess...and you will be staying back here, right?"

"I want nothing more than to run free alongside you, my love, and our foals, but I'm too involved now." Spirit confessed. "I cannot abandon Little Creek." Damn it. His heart tore at him. What have you done to me, Rain? There was a time when he wouldn't even think twice about leaving the two-leggeds behind and now...it was all her doing. If she hadn't exposed him to the gentle ways of the humans...if she hadn't made him see Little Creek in a different light, none of this would've happened. Why did you have to tore my heart in two ways?

"I love you, Spirit. I love you so much, I'm dying of it." Rain breathed, her passionate eyes like embers aglow as she took the stallion aback with her forward, confident words. "And I love Little Creek. For a long while, he was my only family. But I...I love him the most." She cradled the small colt that stood pressed against her flank. "And naturally my motherly instincts are pushing me to choose him."

Once again, she had managed to light a fire inside his heart. A fire that would blaze through eternity. Why are you doing this to me, Rain? She was making his decision harder and harder to commit to. He wished for nothing more than to be with her and their colt.

"But with this being said, I cannot allow myself to remain selfish." Rain kept on, forcing herself to sound unshaken in her newly-made choice. "No matter how much I want to be with my son, I cannot let you fight my battles."

"This isn't your battle, Rain."

"Oh, but it is." She insisted, her face grimacing in pain. "I was born in the Lakota tribe for a reason. My father was a great war horse. How can I run away like a coward and let you fight in my stead? You, my love, were born to gallop free. You were destined to lead your herd that awaits you so patiently. Your mother awaits you. How can I abandon you in a place where you have no experience? How can I live with myself if you get killed because of me?" Hot liquid spilled from her blue eyes, rolling down her cold cheeks. Oh, Spirit...why did you have to storm into my life the way you did and confuse me so? My life used to be so much simpler.

Spirit felt his own tears building and fought them hard. He must remain strong for their sakes. "It's not up to you to protect me. You said it yourself. You love our son the most as you should. Your duty lies with him. Keep our colt – our fruit of love – safe and sound."

Rain shook her head. "You are right, but if I follow my desires how selfish will that be? Wanbli is growing up...he is no longer dependent on me alone. You can keep him safe just as much as I can...if not more. You are his father. You'll teach him all he has to know about being a worthy leader and protector. I know Esperanza will do the same and Misty will feed him if necessary. He'll grow up in a wonderful herd environment as he was meant to do. He'll have loving and doting defenders every step of the way. I was wrong." Unable to bear the rush of emotions, she hung her head. "I was wrong to assume that his destiny was to become a war stallion. How stupid of me to say that!" She fretted, cursing herself. "I'd rather die thousand times than see him fall in battle like my father did. No, no. Never." She choked on her voice at the thought.

Her poor, sweet, darling colt! How could she even entertain such a naive, foolish idea?

"My flaxen beauty," Spirit started in a low whisper. "You're asking me to rip my heart out." She couldn't read the look in his eyes. When he reached out, she held her breath. He touched her cheek tentatively, and she pressed her lips tightly together to keep them from trembling. "I cannot leave you here. I'd rather cease breathing than see you get hurt in battle again. Wanbli needs a mother."

"Just like he needs his father." Rain's eyes pierced him straight through his breastplate.

So, this is how it's going to be? Spirit clenched his teeth, striving for patience. They would never come to a mutual agreement. They were both too stubborn and too set in their own ways. Of course, there was always an option of returning together in the band of Cimarron. Both Spirit and Rain thought about it, yet didn't dare suggest such a selfish thing. Yes, Little Creek had released them, but they knew within their hearts that they owed a lot to their best friend. They couldn't leave him...not when he needed them now more than ever. One of them had to stay and help him as a war horse, and they were both set on being that horse in hopes of saving another.

"Please, Rain...don't fight me on this, I beg you." Spirit implored, not daring to give up so easily. He wouldn't be caught dead leaving Rain in this godforsaken war zone. Might as well just leap from a cliff and drown himself in a sea. "If you love me as ardently as you say, prove it. Prove it and obey me. Go to my mother and the herd. Love our colt...make sure he grows up into a fine stallion." He tried to search her beautiful eyes to see what she was feeling, but she averted her gaze. "I promise, I'll do my utmost best to get back to you safe. I promise this won't be the end. We will meet each other again, my love...in this life or the next." His expressions were tender, yet firm and meaningful.

Oh Spirit...How can you not see? I'm forcing myself to do this because I love you so much. Rain thought to herself, her countenance pale and strained. Did he really believe it was a joyous decision for her to leave the side of her beloved, most precious treasure – her colt – on the planet and run into battle? But how could she abandon Spirit into this hideous place? He would be gunned down first chance by those cavalry men. He and all the other war horses...including Great Conquest. She knew she couldn't save them all, but she could prevent her beloved stallion from suffering the same, tragic fate.

A lump rose to her quivering throat again as she tried to keep her soaring emotions at bay. Biting her lip, she forced her tears back, refusing to shed them. As she observed the pleading eyes of her stallion, she realized that arguing with him was absolutely pointless. He was incredibly bullheaded. She couldn't fight him this way. There was another option...a more devious path to take. "Fine." She said quietly after a while, glancing back at her peaceful little son. "I'll do as you ask, Spirit."

Spirit raised his eyebrows, looking at her incredulously. Rain wasn't the one to give in so easily. "Really?" He tilted his head, staring in disbelief.

"Well, you aren't exactly giving me a choice, are you?" The mare glared at him, a scowl plastered on her features.

Spirit smiled. Perhaps, she was really starting to see things from his perspective. After all, he was unwilling to cede to her in this particular case. There was nothing she could do that would make him change his mind. "No, I'm not." He murmured, grazing his nose against her neck. "I promise...it's going to be okay. I'll come back to you and our son."

Rain's eyes glistened, but she tried to hide the tears that once again started to escape from her. "I'll hold you to it." She said, pressing her head against his forehead.

"I love you." Spirit whispered.

Misty was restlessly pawing the ground as she uneasily watched the snow descend from the grey sky and whiten the lands. The wind and the cold air froze her lungs and she swung to shield her colt from the harsh weather conditions. It was Dusty's first winter season and she was going to make sure he was safe and protected in her warm embrace. It was strange how this sweet little foal could melt her icy heart with just one innocent look. "I won't let you get hurt, baby. I won't." She nickered, pulling him closer and closer to her in a defensive stance that was so common among wild mares. She was running out of patience. Spirit had told her to wait before making any rash decisions on leaving, but she didn't think she could last this long. She wanted to twirl round and gallop back to her familiar, untamed territory. Away from the domesticated horses, away from war camps and most importantly, away from the viciousness of the two-legged species.

"Misty," Great Conquest's voice made her jump. "I don't mean to disturb you..." The stallion told her gently once noticing her anxious state. "...just please confirm with me that Spirit spoke to you and you will be leaving this place as soon as possible."

The black mare frowned. "I hope so. I'm not sure how Little Miss Perfect will react. She tends to do things her way."

Great Conquest let out a frustrated hiss. "Rain can be stubborn, but I'm praying Spirit can convince her. If not, I swear, I'll drag her out of here myself."

Misty giggled at his statement, entertained at the idea. "I'd like to see that."

The grey stallion realized that he might've come off a little too aggressive. "I'm sorry. It's just that things are slowly coming out of control. I can't have her risking her life or Wanbli's."

"Don't you worry, Spirit and I will make sure she's coming with us." Misty assured. "I mean, Spirit would rather die than leave his precious mare behind. It's not happening."

That seemed to calm Great Conquest nerves as he nodded, looking quite satisfied. "Good."

"What about you?" The black mare inquired, before the stallion could retreat back to the encampment. "Have you ever thought about leaving the two-leggeds behind and becoming a wild horse?"

"Not once."

"How come?"

"Because this is my life, Misty. This is what I was destined to do. I was practically reared to stand with the humans at times like these. All those countless hours of training, hard work and dedication...I cannot let it go to waste. This is who I am. Here lies my purpose."

Misty stared at him in surprise. Great Conquest sounded so certain, so strong and unwavered in his beliefs. He was like a powerful pillar that no man could shatter. She wished she could have such strong convictions about...anything really. "You think you were born for life in service?" She asked with a skeptical smirk, hoping to plant a seed of doubt inside his heart.

"I think I was born for more than just survival." The stallion responded flatly. "There are greater things in life than self-serving existence. I believe I was born to exhibit love and loyalty towards those who've cared for me ever since I was a young colt."

Misty was stunned. It was safe to say that she did not expect such a reply from a 'domesticated pet' horse. It was as though it was he who had planted a seed of doubt in her heart. Had she been living wrongly all this time? Had her self-proclaimed 'freedom' been nothing but invisible chains wrapped around her hooves? All her life she tried to escape her past, but no matter how freely she galloped alongside other mustangs, the haunting past always caught up to her one way or another.

She held her tongue. Speechless and confused, she watched Great Conquest dip his head and walk away.

Black Buffalo Woman had been anticipating her husband to re-enter their matrimonial teepee that evening, but was shocked to find Little Creek sneaking in instead.

"Crazy Horse!" She gasped, flying up to her feet and running toward him. He was 'crazy' alright! "What are you doing here? You must leave right now." She didn't give him a chance to respond, for she was already hurriedly pushing him to the exist. "You can't be here. He'll kill us."

Little Creek placed his finger on her lips to quiet her. "It's going to be okay, I promise. You'll get a divorce and you'll come with me. Sitting Bull and Chief Gall are planning on dividing our warriors into five separate groups as we settle in different valleys. We cannot stay here anymore. The white men are on to us." It appeared as though he had already made this decision for them.

"My husband is on to us too." The woman explained shakily. "You know how unpredictable he gets when he drinks. He threatened to kill me if I were to disobey him. Oh, Crazy Horse...forget about me. Just go on your way...fight for our freedom." She begged, her eyes became watery. "He's suspicious. I don't want him to hurt you." She rested her head against his chest. The mere thought of No Water hurting Little Creek was like a brutal stab in her stomach.

"I'm not afraid of him." Little Creek said as was expected of an impetuous youth. "I've made up my mind to protect you. Please, leave him and come with me...be my wife." He took her hands in his and kissed her softly.

The moon was ghostly pale that night; thin and still, casting wintery shadows around the campsite, while the fire burned in the middle, spreading the warmth that the cold weather tried to snatch away from the inhabitants. Rain crunched through the layers of snow and inched closer to Misty with a pretence of putting Wanbli and Dusty together to sleep. In truth, however, she had another thing brewing in her cunning mind.

"I want you to be on my side in this." She had asked Misty, who in turn laughed at her, shaking her head.

"This isn't about 'sides' Rain." The black mare corrected. "We're all in this together. If your human let you go, that means we can all leave this place as soon as possible."

"Spirit's not going anywhere." Rain's nicker was conveyed in a mournful tone. "He won't abandon Little Creek." That's why she loved him so much. He was just to dedicated to those he loved...just like her. And she couldn't abandon him to complete a task that was supposed to be hers. How many times would she allow him to make sacrifices for their love while she stood aside? No! It was her turn now.

Misty rolled her eyes, cursing in a low mutter. "I should've seen that comin'. Oh well...you and I will take our foals and return to Esperanza then."

The wind stirred softly, but there was only silence and determination shining through Rain's confident expression. Misty saw right through her and groaned in realization. "Don't tell me you want to stay here in Spirit's stead?"

"I can't let him take my place. He is a wild Mustang...it is he who must gallop free." The paint mare admitted, causing Misty to swear angrily.

"Don't be a dumb fool, Rain! Spirit won't risk your life like that. Besides, Wanbli needs you!"

"He also needs his father!"

"We can't save everyone! Sometimes we must make sacrifices." The black mare stated firmly, as though reading the very thoughts of Rain.

"Which is exactly why I've decided to make this sacrifice."

Misty wanted to grab her and shake some sense into her head. "Look, your love story is very touching. But I'm sick to death of it." She spat in frustration before continuing. "He's the stallion. Let him handle war affairs. We are mares, our responsibility is to our foals. Now you either do as I say or–"

"Or what?" Rain exclaimed, narrowing her eyes into a glare.

"I'll tell Spirit!"

Team Rain or Team Spirit?