The Bases are Loaded
Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder today. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam.
-The Impressive Clergyman, The Princess Bride
Humming happily to herself, Mei sat in front of the mirror as Hari combed her hair.
"Well, today's the day. Are you excited?" Hari asked. This was exactly the 17th time that day that Hari had said this. Mei tried very hard not to be upset with Hari, as she was obviously very happy and excited for Mei. Even if it was annoying.
"Yes, it is time. Even if Izuku made us wait all the way until now," Mei said. "At last, we will finally have a home run." Then Mei let out a squawk as the comb jerked. "Hari! That hurt!"
"Sorry, sorry, it's just...seriously? You're still...you haven't? Even once?" Hari asked, peering at Mei's reflection in the mirror.
"Well yes. It was very important to Izuku that he not be like Mr. Hisashi." Mei refused to call him Mr. Midoriya, or dad, or anything else. She did not like Mr. Hisashi, because he was mean to Izuku, even if he was trying to be nice now so Mei would try to be nice.
"Well that explains how you're the only one without a plus one," Hari muttered.
That did not make sense to Mei at all. "I thought Izuku was my plus one? That is what the invitation said, you may have a plus one, which is for boyfriends and girlfriends, yes?"
"Mei, I mean you're the only one without a kid. I mean seriously. I've already got two and you can tell we're not stopping there," Hari told her. Mei could not, in fact, tell, as Hari had only told her a few days ago she was having another baby.
"Just because Izuku and me make super cute babies that are different does not mean that we do not have them," Mei sniffed. "We made one just last week, and we will have more soon. I told him we should spend our honeymoon on the moon but he said he does not like flying in space so we will have to have it here."
"Only you would call a spacecraft a super cute baby, sis," Hari chuckled, setting down the brush. "There. You'll have to let Toru do your hair, you know I'm bad at it."
"Do I have to?" Mei asked, frowning. "My hair is just fine right now." And it was, though she had let it get longer than usual. Izuku said he liked long hair, which was very strange, because his hair was now very short. But then again Mei did not have to wear a helmet all the time so maybe that was why.
"Well it's your party, but Toru's gonna be really sad if you don't let her make you extra pretty," Hari laughed.
Mei sighed. "Yes, fine, they can make my hair pretty. I am sure Izuku will like it."
Hari stuck her fingers in her mouth and whistled loudly. "She said yes girls!"
"Oh my gosh, Mei, you look so cute!" Toru cried as she burst into the room. It was easy to tell it was her now, because you could actually see her. Izuku and Mei had made her a super cute baby that turned off her quirk, so now she was only invisible some of the time. Apparently, that had also meant that Toru was now obsessed with fancy hairdos, which made no sense to Mei, as most of the time you could not see them.
"Here, hold her, will you?" Toru said, handing baby Haia to Hari. "Be careful, I just fed her and she hasn't burped yet."
"Sure thing," Hari agreed, then sniffed at the baby who was cooing to herself. She made a face. "Ugh, someone needs to be changed. Toru, how the heck do you manage with the tail?"
"Oh, just yell for Mushirao, he's got the special diapers," Toru said as she began to fuss with Mei's hair. "He's probably across the way with the rest of the boys."
Jiro and Ashido came in as well, and Mei forced herself to smile. She had good social skills. It would make her friends happy if they got to play with her hair. And it would probably make Izuku happy too, so that was alright.
After an absolutely absurd amount of time to be fussing with hair, her friends determined that it was sufficiently fancy and released her. Mei sprang out of the chair, practically vibrating with the need to move after sitting very still for so long. She paced about the room, her hands fidgeting, but there was nothing to fix. She contented herself with silently measuring how large it was and calculating its volume.
"Wedding jitters?" Mina giggled. "I remember mine!"
"No, I do not like sitting still," Mei stated. "Why would I be nervous? Why were you nervous? Did you not want to marry Eijiro?"
That made Mina laugh again. "No, silly, it's just normal for a bride to be a bit nervous on her wedding day! Besides I-" Ashido suddenly covered her mouth, and ran for the nearest garbage can, grabbing it and vomiting. Mei wrinkled her nose. Perhaps she would have to rethink having super cute babies with Izuku. Or maybe should could invent an artificial womb. No, she had to try at least once, everyone else kept making them so there had to be something to it.
Kyoko covered her mouth, going pale. "Oh God, Mina, don't start that or-"
And then Kyoko was finding another trash can and vomiting. Yes. There were definitely downsides to making babies.
"You two would decide to have your firsts at the same time," Hari muttered. "You're just lucky I'm not far enough along to join you."
"It's not like we planned it," Mina gasped, taking a bottle of water from Toru gargling with it, then spitting into the trash. She grimaced, then took another long swig. "Ugh. I'm going to kill Eijro for doing this to me."
"You are being silly," Mei told her. "Besides, Hari warned you what would happen and you did not listen."
"Yeah, yeah, just wait until it's your turn Miss Smartypants," Mina grumbled.
"No, now I am Mrs. Smartypants," Mei corrected. Then she frowned and shook her head. "Unless it does not count yet. I am not sure."
"I think you're always going to be Miss Smartypants, Goggles," Kyoko laughed. "Come on, we've got you all gussied up. Let's see if Momo and Ochako are ready."
Uraraka and Yaoyorozu were indeed ready, Momo having managed to remake her dress to fit her. It had needed to be adjusted several times, as she kept getting bigger and bigger throughout her own pregnancy. Mei was very certain she did not want to have two super cute babies at once like her, it looked very uncomfortable. Even if Shoto seemed just as excited as Momo was at the idea, it looked very uncomfortable.
"All set," Uraraka said, smoothing out her own dress. "I passed Kazumi over to Hitoshi. He swears he won't let the kid eat the ring but I seriously don't know at this point."
"It would not taste very good, it is only metal," Mei said.
"Tell him that. He keeps sticking everything in his mouth. I thought they were supposed to over that by now, he's almost three," Uraraka complained.
"Maybe he's just trying to save money and conserve resources," Toru teased.
That got Uraraka to give her a flat look. "There is nothing wrong with living frugally."
"Yeah, except you're like, one of the richest people in Japan," Mina pointed out. "I mean jeez Ochako, I know we've got access to the world's best mechanics and all but you could stand not to drive something that doesn't look like it would fall apart."
"It still runs!" Uraraka protested. "Hari said so! I don't have to replace it for another 10000 kilometers!"
"Your car is very old," Mei stated. "You should get a new one. I can make one that would not be so smelly."
"That would be wasteful," Uraraka sniffed. "But thank you. Now, should we tell the boys that it's time to get this show on the road?"
"Yes, we do not want to be late, everyone is waiting," Mei stated, glancing at the clock. They would have had even more time if they had not wasted so much putting on dresses, makeup, and messing with hair. She and Izuku had both agreed that a simple wedding would be just fine, but then everyone else had been very sad and they'd had to change their minds.
But no cameras. Mei had loudly told several of the reporter people that she had created super cute babies that would shoot anyone who was caught sneaking in with a camera. Izuku had laughed and said it was a joke. Mei had smiled and not said anything. Later, Izuku had managed to convince her they should only stun. She was pretty sure no one would die if her babies caught them now, but then again she hadn't been that careful.
As it turned out, they still had to wait, as the boys were not ready yet. Apparently, Izuku was having a bad case of nerves.
"I will go talk to him, it will be alright," Mei said, trying to leave to go to the boys' room.
"NO!" All of her friends had shouted.
"It's bad luck for a groom to see his bride on the wedding day before the ceremony!" Uraraka lectured.
Mei rolled her eyes. That was dumb. She had seen Izuku already, before Hari had made her leave. But she decided it was not worth being upset about.
Finally, everything was ready. Mei hiked up her skirts, and made ready to storm out up to the altar, until daddy reminded her they had to be slow.
"Why, everyone knows what's going to happen," Mei complained. "They have been telling us to hurry up for two years. Why should we go slow now?"
"It's tradition, Mei," daddy said, smiling and patting her hand. "Wait for your song."
"It is not my song, they played it for everyone," Mei grumbled, but she subsided and waited, only bouncing on her toes a little bit.
At last, the song started to play, and Mei made herself walk as slowly as daddy did. Which was very slow, annoyingly. She smiled when they got out into the big room though, and waved happily to Izuku, even though he looked very upset, and maybe a little sick. Why? Did some of the boys throw up too? That would have been silly: they were not having babies.
Apparently that was not the problem, as when Izuku saw Mei, he immediately straightened up and smiled at her, looking much better. He waved timidly to her, blushing and looking very cute himself. Togata slapped him on the back and said something that made the other boys laugh, and Hari snap at him, though she was smiling too so Mei did not know why she was mad.
They finally made it up onto the stage, where Shiozaki was waiting for them. Mei took Izuku's hands, and said, "You look very cute. I am glad we are getting married now."
"M-m-me too," Izuku stammered. Mei frowned. She thought he was getting better about that. Were there cameras here? Yes, but only from their friends, which he did not usually mind. Hmm. Mei hoped her robots were doing their jobs. She would be very upset if reporters snuck in. They were very annoying.
"Well, this is normally the part where I give a short speech, but Mei has told me not to be boring, and that she wants to try the cake so I need to be quick about it," Shiozaki said, which made everyone laugh.
Mei was a little annoyed with Shiozaki, mostly because she got to wear pants to a wedding. Mei never got to wear pants to a wedding. Perhaps she should become a Christan priest, then she wouldn't have to keep wearing dresses to all these weddings people were having. Though most of her friends were married now, so perhaps she wouldn't have to worry about it so much.
Shiozaki did follow directions, but things still took too long. Everyone seemed to want to say something about how they thought Izuku and Mei were cute together and they had known they were going to get married for years. Obviously. Mei had scheduled the wedding years ago. Why did they need to keep saying that?
At least Eri was very cute, when she walked out with the flowers, smiling and waving. Eri was a good little sister, always helping with Mei and Izuku's babies when they were broken. She was not as little anymore, though she was not as big as the two brats, who Mei glared at to make sure they were being good.
Baby Kazuki did not eat the ring, which was good. Mei was pretty sure Shinso had not used his quirk to make sure it did not happen, but only because she was also sure Uraraka would have been very upset if he had.
At last they got to the part where they practiced getting to first base, which meant that everyone clapped and then they got to go eat cake. This time, Mei did hike up her skirts. At every other wedding, someone else had gotten to eat the cake first. Well not this time. This time, it was Mei and Izuku's turn.
Izuku did not talk very much as they had cake, and danced, and everyone made their speeches. He kept looking at Mei with a big smile, though Mei was also a bit worried as he looked a bit like Kaminari after he used his quirk too much. Jiro might not mind that her husband was stupid sometimes, but Mei liked Izuku better when he was being smart.
At last, it was time to go, and everyone waved goodbye as Mei and Izuku got in their car, which was driven by one of the policemen because they had to have security, even though Mei could have made plenty of robots to keep bad guys away and also all her friends were heroes and Izuku was also a hero so why was everyone worried about bad guys?
"Alright Izuku, I have made plans," Mei said as soon as the door was shut. She pulled out the diagram she had made from her dress, which was at least big enough to be good for hiding things in, including her flamethrower, and handed it to him. "I think this is what we should try first."
Izuku's eyes became very big as he examined the diagram. "Mei! Are you-"
"Yes. It might be a little gross, but everything else we have tried, which did not make super cute babies, was at least a little fun to do with you. If you have other suggestions I am interested to hear them, but this is based on my research," Mei informed him.
"Um, ok. You um, you're not nervous?" Izuku said, glancing up at their driver, who was doing a very good job of using his social skills and pretending he could not hear them.
"Of course not! I am very excited to try a home run," Mei said happily. She frowned at Izuku. "Are you nervous? Is it because Hisashi was here?"
"What? My father? No, he was fine. It was a bit strange to see him with everyone else, but, well, even old wounds like that can heal if you give it time," Izuku sighed. He smiled at her then, and Mei knew it was going to be alright. "No, I just, I mean...we've known each other for a while now, and I love you more than anything, but...but this is...I don't know. Different."
"You could call Togata or one of the others and ask for advice if you are worried," Mei told him. "The other girls gave me lots of advice but some of it sounded very silly."
"I...no, I think we're good. We'll, um, give it a shot. Like you said, it has to be fun, right?" Izuku laughed, and pulled Mei in for a kiss.
As it turned out, it was very fun, and with a little encouragement, Izuku was very willing to try some of the things Mei had researched. It was very messy and awkward, but Mei supposed that sort of summed up their lives. After all, he had met her in a dumpster. It could only have gotten better from there.