As always the standard disclaimer applies: I do not own the Happy Tree Friends; they are the property of Mondo Media. Also Crush belongs to the original HTF forums user MrKaos. I own only my own characters and this story.
83 – THE PLACELESS PACK
Although surprised by Crush's call the Mole, as he had said, was actually very glad to get it. It actually could not have come at a better time as he was about to leave to go to a private meeting with Handy and Loco in Handy's office.
"Do I have news for you" said the Mole as he arrived at the meeting. Handy and Loco looked up.
"Yes?" said Handy.
"Lifty and Shifty, our field saboteurs, have just had their odds increased a lot " said the Mole.
"Really?" asked Loco, "why's that?"
"Because" said the Mole with obvious satisfaction, "they've just made contact with the Placeless Pack."
"Indeed?" said Handy, "that's very interesting. Yes, I would say that you're right; Lifty and Shifty just had their odds improved."
"And who are the Placeless Pack?" asked Loco.
"I never told you?" said the Mole in surprise.
"Not to my knowledge" said Loco, "but if they're something that's going to help my men with their mission I want to know about them."
"Of course" replied the Mole, "almost nobody in our city knows about them, and I'm sure no one at all in Metramegopolis knows about them, although that's not surprising since the Flying City usually has its attention occupied in ways that we don't."
"I think" said Handy, "that outside of this room anyone who has heard of the Placeless Pack thinks they're just a myth."
"Except for the agent of mine who found them" said the Mole, "she knows they're real, she brought them to my attention."
"And then you brought them to mine" said Handy.
"So how come you never told me about them?" demanded Loco.
"They've never been a military concern" answered the Mole, "actually they've never really been much of a concern to our city at all until now and if they're a concern now it's only because of Lifty and Shifty."
"I still wish to know about them" said Loco.
"That's not a problem" said the Mole, "I'll send the agent who discovered them to see you. She can tell you about them the best. But if you're thinking you can use them, forget it. They don't answer to any authority except themselves. If they want to help us then they will. If they don't then they won't."
"But they do want to help or you wouldn't be so pleased" said Handy.
"They do" said the Mole, "They're usually willing to assist with attacks on the Marauders if they can do it their way. I think Lifty and Shifty's mission will give them lots of opportunities for that."
A couple of hours later Loco received a visit in his office from Petunia. Petunia had mainly been living a quiet life since her return to the Animal City after placing the probe in XL-Jack-3's leg. As the Mole had said, after that one deed she didn't have to do anything else, ever, to prove her worth to anyone, but after so many weeks of inactivity since her return she was, naturally, getting rather bored. She was glad to get the call from the Mole to go see Loco, even if it was only for a consultation.
"So" said Loco after she arrived, "I understand you are the one who discovered the Placeless Pack?"
"That's right" said Petunia quietly, "it was a little over a year ago, right after the last war ended."
"And who exactly are the Placeless Pack?" asked Loco, "I gather they're animals who don't live either here or in Metramegopolis, and what's more they have never lived in either place."
"Right" said Petunia, "they're remnants of other animal communities that have been destroyed by the Marauders. You know there are others."
"I know that quite well" said Loco, "although I don't know how many (if any) such communities are left now. The survivors of such communities usually make their way to us, and sometimes to Metramegopolis, if they can after their homes are destroyed. Although there often aren't many, if any, survivors. It usually takes a full scale attack by a full Marauder army, backed with long range weapons to take down even a small animal community so we usually know when such attacks occur, though usually not until it's too late to do anything to stop them. But afterwards we send people to try and find survivors."
"Well we don't find all of them" said Petunia, "some go rogue. I don't know how they find each other but somehow a small bunch of them have drifted together out there in the wilderness and they do nothing except prey on Marauders."
Loco stared at Petunia.
"You've got to be kidding" he said.
"I'm quite serious" said Petunia simply, and Loco could see that she was.
"They can't live very long doing that" said Loco thoughtfully.
"Yes the mortality rate is pretty high" said Petunia, "that's what their leader told me, but they don't seem to care."
"Why don't they come here?"
"They think there's nothing left for them" said Petunia simply, "they have no relatives or friends here, so they spend their lives getting revenge instead."
"Unbelievable" muttered Loco, but then he thought of a few people he knew, "well maybe it's not" he decided. "How did you find them?" he asked.
"They found me" said Petunia, "or rather one of their leaders did. A big polar bear named Crush ran across me on the fields outside Metramegopolis over a year ago after the last war. There's not much to the story. I thought he was from Metramegopolis but he denied it. Eventually we started comparing notes and that's when the truth came out. I didn't really believe him at first but he took me to meet his comrades. Then I had to believe him. I contacted the Mole and introduced them. The Mole keeps in touch with them when he can, although he can't really do much for them."
"If they were part of the last war" said Loco, "how come we never heard about them then?"
"But they weren't" said Petunia, "they'd been following another Marauder army down from the north and that army only joined up with the main force right after the war ended. Ever since, I guess, they've been knocking around outside the main Marauder camp doing who knows what?"
"And the main force got much bigger this past year" said Loco reasoning things out, "as XL-Jack-3 has been calling all of the Marauder forces together to assault Metramegopolis again, presumably once and for all. I suppose Crush and his friends have to stay out of the way of the incoming troops too so they don't get too many chances to make trouble. Are they all polar bears? Because we have a sizable polar bear population here. Even if they're not related to them – "
"They're not all polar bears sir" said Petunia, "they're a very mixed bunch of animals. Like our city only on a smaller scale. I think Crush and his cousin are the only two who are polar bears."
"You met his cousin?"
"Yes, I met them all" Petunia said, and then she shuddered at the memory, "and though they're good people, and although I liked Crush a lot, I hope I never meet his cousin again!"
"Why?" asked Loco with interest.
"Trust me, you don't want to know" said Petunia earnestly, "let's just say that if Lifty and Shifty meet her they'd better be on their best behavior – or else."
Petunia left Loco's office shortly after that and headed back to report to the Mole. When she reached the Mole's office she found Flaky waiting outside of it. The two animals greeted each other warmly. They were very old and very close friends and had been since college. For a while they had even gone out together but that had eventually ended when both realized they would have to find mates of their own specific species if they ever wanted to breed. Nevertheless they remained very close. Petunia's time at Metramegopolis had tested that friendship for both of them but they had come through it. Now that Petunia was home again she and Flaky were rarely apart from one another except at work or when either one of them was in the breeding cycle although neither had as yet become a parent.
"What are you doing here?" Petunia asked Flaky after they had greeted each other.
"I could ask you the same question" said Flaky.
"I asked you first" said Petunia playfully.
"I asked you second – and second means less hasty, therefore better thought out and more deserving to be answered first" responded Flaky. Petunia laughed.
"Just giving the Mole a report" said Petunia.
"So am I" said Flaky becoming more serious, "I don't have an appointment but we've just a made a huge discovery and it can't wait."
"What kind of discovery?" asked Petunia, "does it have anything to do with the bug I planted on XL-Jack-3?"
"Yes" answered Flaky looking around to see that they were alone, "and that's why I'll tell you about it. You have a right to know and I'm sure I don't have to tell you to keep it to yourself."
"Oh please" said Petunia, "I'm an intelligence agent. I know all about keeping secrets."
"Well this is as big a one as you're likely to hear" said Flaky with obvious satisfaction, "we just cracked the data."
"But that's – " Petunia began to exclaim when Flaky shushed her, still looking around. "Sorry" Petunia whispered, "I was going to say that's wonderful. How did you do it?"
"Nutty did it" said Flaky in a low voice, "he went through his whole library as if he was searching for a tiny water hole in a huge desert. And eventually he found it. I wouldn't have believed he could have such information but he did."
"What did he find?"
"Detailed information on the original XL-Jack series from the people who made them way back in the Before Times" said Flaky, "it's not complete. There's a lot missing and it doesn't have specific plans or specs about them but there was enough information on the construction of the series and the kinds of codes that were used for it that when he put it together with the data that you enabled us to gather we were finally able to crack the problem. We have access to XL-Jack-3! We should have complete details on all of his systems very soon. It's being taken down right now even as we speak."
"Wow" murmured Petunia, clearly awed by what Flaky had said, "we'll finally be able to beat him."
"Maybe" said Flaky cautiously, "just because we know how something is built doesn't necessarily mean we can beat it. We'll have to find a weakness first and that may take a while. From everything I've seen of this data the XL-Jack series was built to be as invulnerable as possible. And XL-Jack-3 is self-aware. I'm sure he's worked on himself a lot over the centuries, upgrading himself to become stronger. I just hope there is a weakness and that we can find it."
"I touched him" said Petunia, "and he never knew it. If I could do that then there has to be a weakness, there just has to be."
Flaky smiled at Petunia in acknowledgment of her words but before he could reply the door to the Mole's office opened up and the two of them went in to give their reports.
(To Be Continued)