Humans are very good at many things. One of those many things is struggling. Humans are amazing at that, and to a certain extent, yearn for it. But this boy didn't want that. He didn't want to be struggling. What exactly was he struggling with? School. Sure, that may be a basic struggle, but his was unlike most. He kept up an honest face. Claimed to have been the school's pride and joy. He was the star Baseball player in a school where Baseball was held higher than Football or Basketball. He was an amazing singer. He was the friendly face that everyone in the school knew. He was a grade-A student. The ladies man. The man of all men. But he had a secret. It wasn't a dark secret, just a secret he felt scared to let out. This boy's name was Lucas.
Lucas and his father were close. Very close. Lucas held his dad in high regard. He liked to call himself Mr. Mom. He was both earning money and respect. The sad thing was, Lucas's dad needed to almost be in a constant loop of work. Just work after work after work. He had only about two hours for some quality time with his son on a normal day. So, just like any day, Lucas woke up in a house by himself. He was used to it. A sad reality. He got himself ready for school; he ate, showered, did last-minute homework, etc. He left the house.
The town he lived in, Ultimatum, was in the middle of the rainiest region of the USA. It had rained last night, so the ground was wet and the grass was fresh with mud. Lucas looked into one of the many puddles on the sidewalk to his driveway. He saw his pale skin reflected. However, due to some weird lighting shenanigans, it created a sort of rainbow effect in the upper regions of the puddle. Lucas shook his head. "I swear I'd look better with green eyes." He entered his car and started on his way toward his best friend's house.
Lucas and his best friend, as with a lot of best friends, went back a long time. Back when they were kindergartners, in fact. Lucas's best friend knew almost everything about Lucas. Emphasis on "almost". Lucas made it to his best friend's house. He honked the horn.
"LET'S GO, NESS!" Lucas yelled. The door to the house opened up and Ness walked out, looking very much annoyed.
"You do realize how annoying your horn is, dontcha?"
"I haven't the slightest clue what you're talking about," Lucas smugly said as Ness walked to the other side of the car.
"Uh-huh, right," Ness got into the car and put his seat belt on, "Just start the damn car." Lucas shifted from park to drive and winked.
"Way ahead of ya." Lucas started driving once more. Along the way, a question that had swelled inside Ness for years finally decided to show its face.
"So when are you not going to be single?" Lucas instantly straightened his back and almost pressed hard onto the breaks.
"Wh-what?" And just then, something hit his window. It was a water droplet. It had begun raining.
"You heard me." The rain quickly got more and more, prompting Lucas to turn on the windshield wipers.
"I-I just haven't found the right person. That's all." Ness didn't believe that. He knew Lucas. And thus, he knew all the girls that were interested in him. He was jealous of all the girls interested in Lucas.
"Seriously? With all those girls begging for you?"
"Yes seriously. And plus, 'begging' for me may be a bit of an over-exaggeration."
"Yeah whatever, but still. You haven't even tried to go on a date with one of them. Sometimes I wonder if you're of the fruity kind." Lucas smiled sheepishly at Ness as he stopped at a red light. "Are you?"
"WHAT! No of course not! I-I love girls." Ness crossed his arms and cocked his eyebrows. "I love their...girliness?" Lucas said that as a question.
"Right. 'Girliness', way to be specific." Lucas gulped before pressing hard on the gas when the light turned green. The sudden acceleration spooked Ness. "Dude, be careful." Lucas calmed down a bit and breathed out.
"Sorry."
"Did I say something wrong?"
"N-no it's not you, it's just...don't worry about it." Ness's cocked eyebrows grew saddened. He felt he did something wrong. He hated that feeling. He hated doing wrong to people and he knew his personality could sometimes cause that effect. He looked outside the window.
"Sorry I brought up the topic."
"It's fine." Lucas continued driving, thinking over what Ness had said. He gripped the steering wheel tightly as he thought about telling him the truth. He had wanted to tell the truth for a while now, but a fear he shouldn't have kept creeping up on him. He thought back on when he met Ness for the first time.
Lucas was crying. Two kids stole his orange. It was his favorite fruit and he was looking forward to eating it all car ride. He wiped his tears when a boy the same age as him walked over. "Why you crying?" the boy asked. Lucas looked up, his tearful eyes told half of the story, and Lucas's pointing at the boys eating the orange told the other half. The boy looked into his bag and saw the watermelon slices his mom had packed for him. His young eyes and naive eyes were shooting from Lucas to his watermelon. He grabbed the canister the watermelon was in, a light blue see-through one, and showed it to Lucas. "Wanna share?" Lucas looked back up at the boy and grew a tiny smile.
"O-ok." The boy smiled before sitting down next to Lucas, opening up the canister and allowing Lucas to grab the first slice.
Lucas pulled into the school parking lot and into a vacant spot. The both of them, in complete silence, undid their seatbelts. Once Ness tried to leave, however, Lucas locked the doors and looked down at his lap. In his mind...he was trying to psych himself up. He had come up with the decision to tell his best friend. It was harder than he had imagined. He couldn't really explain why though. He knew Ness for so long, long enough to know he wouldn't leave with the newfound information. But despite that, he was scared. The irrational fear of being alone and forgotten loved toying with Lucas. "Lucas?" Ness's voice was one of concern. However, he wasn't concerned for himself despite essentially being forced to stay in the car. Lucas didn't respond. His silence spoke for him. Ness sat back and looked out the windshield at the large building that was the house of hell. Ness remembered something that made their house of hell more special when compared to others. "Hey Lucas, let's get outta here. I wanna show you something."
Lucas slowly moved his eyes from his lap to Ness. "What do you mean?" Lucas sounded defeated. He was tired of having the fight he was having. He just wanted it done. He wanted it so far in the past that he'd need a Dolorian to go through it again. Ness smiled. It was a sweet and innocent smile. Lucas admired Ness's perseverance and optimism. That was when, like earlier, something hit the window. It began raining.
"Jeez. Rain is so random here." The rain quickly picked up, getting very heavy. The pounding on the window was oddly calming for Lucas. Ness shook his head before looking at Lucas. "We'd best hurry before the rain gets worse." Lucas rubbed his hands together.
"B-But-"
"No buts. Unlock the door, and follow me," Ness's voice became strict. But it wasn't mean-spirited. Not in the slightest. There was a sensible amount of care beneath those strict commands. Lucas felt almost inspired. This seemingly inspired side of him prompted him to actually unlock the door. The two stepped out into the rain. The rain was almost painful as it pounded down into them. Ness quickly ran to the other side of the car, grabbed Lucas's hand, and ran off. They didn't run to the school though. Rather, they ran to a building that was stationed to the side of the school. It looked to be a mostly glass building. A greenhouse.
They ran into the greenhouse, soaking wet. Lucas, after shaking his head of water, looked at the flowers that were grown there. They were very beautiful. Lucas walked over to his favorite flower of all time, the Sunflower. It was about to become summer, the best time for Sunflowers. He carefully touched the bud of the tree and smiled. Simply seeing the flower was enough to cause a smile, but the comforting touch of said flower makes his heart feel safe. "Why did you bring me here?" Lucas finally got back into his head and realized why he was here in the first place, because Ness brought him here.
"I want you to know you're safe with me. But not just you. Your thoughts." Ness walked forward and gently placed a hand on Lucas's shoulder as they both stared at the Sunflower. Lucas always knew this was true. There was never once where he felt Ness was untrustworthy. But it was never other people he was nervous about with this secret. It was himself. He knew Ness was trustworthy. He knew his dad was trustworthy. But he didn't know if he was trustworthy. He felt like he was going to hate himself. He felt like he'd regret everything. He was scared about the possibility of losing trust in himself. Ness finally broke the staring contest he had with the Sunflowers to look at Lucas's face. Ness, knowing Lucas for nearly their entire lives, knew what this face was. There were a few times in the past where Lucas would doubt himself. But this time seemed much worse.
Just then, a loud crash came from outside. The rain turned into a full thunderstorm. "Lucas..." Nothing. Lucas was completely in his own thoughts. Traveling in a maze of misdirection and lies and hidden truths. Ness grabbed both of Lucas's shoulders and shot him around to look at his face straight-on. "Lucas." It still wasn't working. Ness needed to think about a way to get through to him. That's when an idea popped into his head. It was something he wanted to do for a while. Now was the best time to do it. Ness brought Lucas into a hug. And it did achieve its goal. It was able to kick Lucas from his thoughts. When he finally came back into reality, he knew Ness was hugging him. It caused him to heat up before returning the hug. "I just want you to trust me, Lucas."
"I-I do trust you. More than anyone?"
"Then why won't you tell me what's wrong?" Ness asked as he broke the hug up and looked calmly at him. Lucas's mouth fell agape as he thought about whether he should or shouldn't. "Remember when I told you my secret a few years ago?"
"Of course. How could I not?"
"I trusted you more than anything. And in that moment of weakness, you were the pillar I relied on. I'm not saying I should be your pillar. But I'd be more than happy to be so." Lucas couldn't help a smile that formed within a blush in his cheeks.
"How do you get the courage to tell people secrets you hide from yourself?" The question shook Ness. It was unexpected. The only time Lucas got this sad or existential was when his mom did the things she did to him. Ness's immediate thought was that this was something similar. Either something directly relating to his mom, or someone else was hurting him.
"Lucas," Ness grabbed Lucas's chin and made him look up into his eyes. Ness was taller than Lucas, and he knew Lucas enjoyed this slight action. "Is someone hurting you?"
"No...I-I don't think you'd classify it as 'hurting me'." Ness sighed. He didn't think he would get much further. And he didn't want to force Lucas into saying something he didn't want to say. Ness of all people knew how that felt. He let go of Lucas and smiled. Once more, the loud crashing of thunder played in the background.
"I won't force you to say anything. Just...stay safe." Ness walked for the door to leave the greenhouse. For Lucas, time seemed to slow down as he started thinking. He didn't want Ness to leave him now. He needed him more than ever. Yet, he was being too complicated for Ness. Ness wanted to help him but he was being stubborn. At the same time, he wanted to tell Ness, always have, since the moment Ness told him about his secret all those years ago. He balled up his hands into fists as he fought through the doubt in his mind.
Ness is my friend! He's my best friend! He will know about this, I need him to. Because...
Just then he realized the hesitation. He found out why he was so scared to tell Ness, and other people, his secret. Ness was the core of the secret. Ness was the reason for the secret. And, in a way, Ness was the secret. A quieter strike of thunder broke Lucas from the slowness of his thoughts. "Ness." Ness stopped before turning to look at Lucas as he was admiring the Sunflowers.
"Yeah?" Lucas closed his eyes and took in a deep breath.
"I'm gay." Ness smiled before crossing his arms.
"That was your secret? You were hiding THAT the entire time? From someone like me?" Ness playfully asked as he walked to Lucas to pat him on the back.
"No." This stopped Ness from patting his back.
"What?"
"That wasn't the secret. I thought it was, but now I know it wasn't."
"Then what is?" Lucas turned his head and opened his eyes to see Ness. He was the secret. He was everything Lucas wanted him to be. Which should've been a red flag. Ness helped him with his confidence. Ness helped him with everything. Ness was the perfect image of a boyfriend for him.
"I-I don't want to hurt you." Ness placed a hand on Lucas's shoulder and smiled.
"There's nothing you can do that'd hurt me."
Lucas knew something. The second he said the secret would be the second he wouldn't see Ness anymore. Lucas smiled. He had other friends because of Ness's help with confidence. His dad was super supportive and helpful. He didn't need Ness like he used to. He looked at the Sunflower as the thunderstorm died down. He'll find a boyfriend like Ness again. He knew he would. But now...wasn't that time. Now was the time of realization.
"You're not real."
Ness was gone. Just like that. Any remnant of Ness was gone. The house, gone. The body, gone. But the memories remained. The memories will always remain. Ness was never real. Ness will never be real. But Ness is him. Ness and Lucas were always one and the same. Ness was just who Lucas was before Lucas became Lucas. "Thank you, Ness. You will never be forgotten. It's just like what you say..." Lucas walked out of the greenhouse. The birds were chirping. The smell of rain dominated any other smell. "For when there are showers..." Lucas looked over to his right and saw his baseball team. More importantly...his real best friend. The person who was most like Ness, the major difference, was that he was real. Lucas smiled at the sight of him. "There will always be flowers."