trace (vestiges)
Driving back up Eagle Mountain had not not in his plans after all of the paperwork and filing was done at the courthouse following Iris' trial, but with Phoenix and Maya in such a fervent panic, there had been no way to deny their request. He had nodded mutely and gathered up his belongings, signalling for the two bundles of nerves and fear to follow him out into the parking lot. Then, he takes them back up that long, winding road up the mountainside all the way to Hazakura Temple, the entire journey filled with nothing but soft, keening whimpers from Maya and the fervent tapping of Phoenix's dull, anxiously-bitten nails upon the leather of the car door. The man's other hand grips the leg of his slacks tightly, white knuckles bloodless to the point Miles wonders if they shall bruise from within.
He wants to hold that hand. His own fingers touch only the steering wheel, the gear shift, and nothing more.
Miles does not need to ask any questions about why they are going back to the scene of the crime which Phoenix had just put to rest. After all, Pearl is not with them- but the bus service going back up the mountain is up and running, and Pearl is nothing if not resourceful.
Phoenix's instincts are correct. After what feels like an eternity, but is likely not more than twenty minutes, Phoenix and Maya return to Miles' convertible with a tiny, sniffling Pearl Fey, each of her tiny, trembling hands held by the adults she trusts most. Slipping out of the car at their arrival, Miles quietly opens the backseat door and gestures for the three of them to enter, leaving Miles alone in the front. On the ride back home, Miles only glances into the rear-view mirror once; he sees Maya and Pearl holding hands, whispering to one another as Pearl rubs her eyes sleepily, then shifts his gaze over to Phoenix. The man looks completely and utterly drained, a pallor sinking into his skin striking.
It has only been, what, two days since Phoenix had nearly drowned? Of course he looks to be on the verge of collapsing, Miles thinks wearily. He doubts that the attorney could possibly have the energy to care for the two girls himself, so, in the mirror, he mouths, 'Come with me'.
There is an unmistakeable sense of loss, of grief, which overtakes Phoenix's pallid complexion. It is subtle- just a slight tightening of his lips, the flaring of his nostrils, the widening of dark, bloodshot eyes- but Miles can see. All he's ever seen is Phoenix, after all.
…I guess it wasn't the same for him.
He does his best to lock those traitorous thoughts away until Maya and Pearl have been fed, cleaned up and put to bed. Thankfully, with Maya there, he is largely able to leave taking care of Pearl to her older cousin. Once they are taken care of, a few quick messages to Franziska cement plans to meet her later on that week, as well as thanking her for her work during the trial. She deserves rest after all that she has done to find the truth, too- as much as she screeches about the von Karma legacy, her tireless efforts speak more to Frederik's teachings than to Manfred von Karma's, and for that, Miles is grateful.
He cannot avoid these thoughts forever, though. Eventually, it is just he and Phoenix seated underneath the covers, a foot separating them into a chilling, frigid state of isolation. Neither know what to say; all Miles can do is quietly insist that Phoenix takes no cases for the next few days, if not weeks, explaining that he, too, shall be taking a break until the Prosecutor's Office can finish up the paperwork which would allow him to prosecute once again in their courts. Not like it matters, Miles thinks bitterly, snorting without an ounce of humour. I was allowed to defend. This system is in utter shambles.
Finally, Phoenix breaks their terse silence, just as Miles is about to lean over and turn off the lamp by his bedside. "I… I'm sorry, Edgeworth. I've been… not great, these past few days."
Miles' hand stops halfway to the light switch, emotions roiling mercilessly within his gut. What should he do? Should he agree? Disagree? Ignore it?
Awkwardly, he leans back against the headboard and glances over. Immediately, his heart shatters; Phoenix's large eyes are ringed by dark circles and sickness, both of which are only worsened by the long shadows cast upon his face and the guilt haunting his every breath. With a sigh, Miles can only shake his head. "No, it- I understand where you were coming from. You've always been a bit… single-minded in your cases. I should've seen it coming."
To his surprise, Phoenix shakes his head almost angrily, running his fingers back through his hair. A scowl covers his face, irritation seeping into his tone. "You say that as if you didn't fly halfway across the world for me." A snort of disbelief echoes emptily into the air as his voice begins to rise in near-hysteria. "You- Miles, you flew from Germany just because Larry called you and said I was in danger- you risked your job as a prosecutor in order to defend Iris- you didn't kick me halfway down the mountain after that earthquake-"
"Wait, why in the world would-"
"Because I deserved it!" Phoenix cries, and just like that, the distance between them is gone.
Miles nearly faints. Phoenix's leg wraps over his, the heat from his body suddenly pressed up against Miles' own enough to make his head spin, body aching in longing and lust and loneliness that is suddenly being quenched after a year's drought. Hands find his own, squeezing as Phoenix empathically whispers, "I just- fuck, Miles, I can't believe I just left- I don't know what was wrong with-"
"You were worried about Maya-" Miles attempts, but it is to no avail.
"It was because of Iris," Phoenix confesses, his head falling against Miles' shoulder. Then, he begins to tremble, and Miles realizes with a start that Phoenix is weeping. "I just panicked- I needed to know what was going on so badly, and I just tunnel-visioned, and- god…"
Tentatively, Miles gathers the attorney up into his arms. "I… will not forgive you for a while," he confesses wearily. "I do not think I can, Phoenix. I- I had thought I was better with dealing with earthquakes, but every single time, I simply-"
"It's okay," Phoenix whispers against Miles' neck, causing a shiver to rush up his spine and a crippling heartache to attack his soul. "I deserve it. I'm so, so sorry."
These words do not magically make Miles feel better. They do not ease the lingering pain which has been haunting his heart ever since he had seen Phoenix's eyes misting over at mentions of Dahlia Hawthorne, of Sister Iris, of the memory of a girl to whom he had given his heart. Once upon a time, Miles probably would have spat in the face of this apology; after all, Phoenix has known about the DL-6 Incident ever since he had defended Miles on trial. He knows of Miles' fear.
He had left Miles behind anyways that day upon Eagle Mountain.
However, Miles is not the same man he had been back when he had first begun prosecuting. The last few years have aged him far more than he could have ever expected. So, Miles does not lash out- he does not retaliate. He merely nods, and accepts, and allows Phoenix's tears to dry before he pulls away, murmuring, "We'll talk about it in the morning."
To his surprise, Phoenix refuses. "I saw your face as the trial ended," he explains wearily, rubbing the heel of his hands into his eyes to fight off his impending collapse. "What happened in there? What was wrong?"
Other than finding out that you were smitten with Iris, and her, with you? "That trial was not exactly one which anyone could stomach easily," he says after a brief pause. "I'm not sure how you would expect me to react to all of… that."
For a moment, Phoenix's face is merely screwed up in thought. Then, it seems as if understanding finally dawns upon him, a mixture of horror and shock and confusion creeping into his voice as he asks, "You… did you not believe in…?"
"It's hard to believe in anything as foolish as 'spirit channeling'."
"But- but Mia's come back to court so many times, how did you not realize?"
It takes everything Miles has to not squeak in indignant horror, and then, in humiliation, as he realizes that he has not once paid attention to the people who have acted as Phoenix's aide aside from Maya. Had he truly always been so focused upon Phoenix himself that he had not seen actual magic happening a few feet over?
Phoenix sighs, drawing a knee up to his chest to hug. Settling his chin upon it, he murmurs, "There's something else though. I can tell. What is it?"
Wordlessly, Miles leans over, flicks off the light switch, and slides under the covers. He is not tired. He simply does not want to see Phoenix's expression any longer- nor to allow Phoenix to see the bitterness oozing from every pore. Then, he draws in a breath, and begins to explain what he had already told Franziska. Of course Miles Edgeworth cannot trust spirit mediums- Misty Fey had led to the obfuscation of hs father's true killer for years. There is nothing anyone can do or say to erase the film of disgust and pure, unwavering loss which taints every one of Miles' memories from the fifteen years he had lived in the von Karma household, now knowing that he had been under the tutelage of his father's own murderer.
And it had all been thanks to the late spirit medium for sending the police to the wrong person.
After he is done laying out his frustrations in a cold, almost detached tone, Phoenix does not speak for a long time. He merely remains seated upright, his silhouette blending in too much with the darkness obfuscating the room's details for Miles to see him clearly; eventually, when that silence becomes too deafening to bear, Miles gives up on waiting for a response and turns onto one side, readying himself for another fitful sleep.
It is a few minutes later when a familiar, strong arm slips around Miles' waist, a long, toned body curling in perfectly to the curvature of Miles' own form. The prosecutor almost weeps at the sensation. They've always fit too well together, after all.
Once he has settled in, Phoenix whispers, "I think… Misty Fey proved it. A parent would do anything for their child."
"Hm?"
Miles does not turn over to look at Phoenix. Even in the darkness, however, his eyes remain open, locked onto the tiny gap between his curtains; every ten seconds, there is a slight augmentation of light, an illumination flickering across that gap like a spark, the headlights from the street below providing a dancing circus of light for him to hone in upon.
This time is necessary, it seems. When Phoenix finally speaks, his words are gentle, almost painfully so. "You saw Dahlia today, right? You saw how hateful she was. Peoples' natures don't change in the afterlife, Miles- they're still just as capable of deceit and betrayal… and love."
Miles says nothing. Where the hell are you going with this?
Lips tentatively press against the nape of Miles' neck as Phoenix's full weight sinks into the bed at last, his tension leaving him languid and boneless, pressing his warmth and weight half into Miles as well. The heat is almost scalding after a year of being utterly alone.
Then, Phoenix whispers, "Your dad loved you, Miles. And when he died, in the elevator, he didn't see von Karma, right? That means… when he was asked who shot him, there were two options."
Miles' heart stops cold in its tracks.
"It was you, or the bailiff. Yanni Yogi, right? It was you, or him, and he loved you. He never stopped. Misty Fey probably didn't realize what was going on, either." His following chuckle is bone-wearyingly exhausted. "I… understand, though. I'd lie to protect you, too."
"…would you have done so, if I had truly been guilty during the case three years ago?"
"Without hesitation."
Miles sleeps well that night. Crying manages to sap away the last vestiges of strength left in his bones, leaving him groggy and confused the next morning when he wakes up in his bed, alone, finding it to be well-past noon.
Phoenix smiles at him as he comes downstairs. He looks almost healthy again. Maya and Pearl went home that morning, he explains.
"Why didn't you go with them?"
"Because you deserve someone who'll stay. I want to prove to you." I'll be that person.
Brunch is delicious. His heart aches less. He is warmer now. Phoenix stays, and Miles does not forgive him, and that is okay. They'll be okay.