Chapter 94: Sunday, April 21, 2002

"Rise above the storm, and you will find sunshine."

-Mario Fernandez

Remus stared down at the goblet of murky liquid Hermione had thrust into his hand. It gave off a small plume of blue smoke and smelled incredibly foul, and he felt his stomach roll at the thought of consuming it.

"One goblet every day for the week," Hermione said.

Remus gave a tight nod, pulling his eyes up from the potion to look at her. "And it will work?"

"It will allow you to keep your mental faculties," she explained. "You still have to physically transform, but—"

"The wolf won't have control," he whispered.

"Exactly."

"Drink up, Lupin," Draco quipped, arms folded across his chest. "It's not going to help if you just stare at it."

Remus narrowed his eyes. It had been difficult enough to get used to being surrounded by the children of his friends—who, in this time, were actually older than he was now—but to be ordered about by a Malfoy? Remus found himself biting his tongue, more often than not, to Draco's snarky comments and annoying jabs.

"It's not going to kill me, is it?" Remus asked, sniffing at the liquid and instantly regretting that decision.

"Unfortunately, no," Draco drawled.

"Malfoy!" Hermione chided, smacking his chest with the back of her hand before turning her attention back to Remus. "No, it won't," she assured him. "From what I know, it does taste dreadful, though."

"Can't we add some honey or something?" Remus asked, tone hopeful.

"Sugar renders it ineffective," Hermione grimaced.

Remus wrinkled his nose in distaste, "Well, here goes nothing."

Hermione gave him a reassuring smile as he put the goblet to his lips and sucked down the thick potion. His instant reaction was to gag, but he fought the urge and swallowed. He was positive he had never tasted anything so revolting in his life. It was some sickening mix of floral notes with overtones of spoiled meat, and he wondered if Draco was trying to pull one over on him. But, still, the allure of having his wits about him during a transformation was too promising to not choke down every drop.

"Fuck, that is disgusting," he choked, his throat still thick with the potion. The vile concoction threatened to make a reappearance and he coughed, forcing the contents to remain in his stomach. "Merlin's saggy fucking bollocks," he wheezed, fighting tears and nausea. "I have to drink this shit every day?"

"Professor Lupin has a mouth on him," Draco smirked, snagging the goblet from his hand.

"I'm not a bloody Professor. Why does everyone keep calling me that?"

Hermione handed Remus a new goblet—this one filled with water, bless her—and winced. "Well we did know you as a Professor first."

Remus stopped mid-gulp, wiping the water from his chin and lowering the goblet to look at her. "What?"

"You taught—"

"Do you think it's a good idea to tell him about his future?" Draco asked. "I mean, I know we've decided to say fuck the timeline so that you can do...well, Granger, but I'm not confident giving every detail is the best idea."

"He'll figure it out, eventually," Hermione said, clearly annoyed. "If you don't want to tell him, don't. Go away."

"And leave you with my potion kit? I think not."

"As if I don't have all of the same items in my own," Hermione grumbled. She looked away from Draco and back to Remus. "You were the Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor in our third year."

"I—what?"

"Bloody good one, too."

Remus looked over his shoulder to see Ron Weasley entering the room, an apple in his hand that he took an impressively large bite out of. "Best one we had. Taught us loads of stuff. Had the best exam that year, too—a bloody obstacle course! Boggarts and Hinky Punks and...what was the last one, 'Mione, d'you remember?"

"Don't talk with your mouth full, Ron. And it was Red Caps."

"Ah, Red Caps, that's right. Those little buggers took me off course! Anyway, Luna, Justin and I are heading to the market, you need anything?"

"No, thank you," Remus mumbled, taking another gulp of water to occupy himself.

"Actually," Draco said, diligently packing up his kit, "I'll come along, I need a restock on some potion ingredients."

"Yeah, alright," Ron hummed, eyes darting to the only occupant of the dining room who hadn't answered. "'Mione?"

"Some chocolate, if you please?"

Ron smiled and gave a glance to Remus before nodding, "Got it."

With another bite of his apple and little salute, Ron turned around and exited the room, Draco on his heels going on about how he didn't want anyone else to "pick out the wrong slugs", whatever that meant. The departure of them brought with it something Remus hadn't experienced much of since being at the Shrieking Shack—he was alone with Hermione.

He had learned, in his few short weeks here, that not all of the Order resided at Headquarters. However, a group of about a dozen did, which gave very little privacy amongst them. Everyone was extremely comfortable with one another, even going as far as sleeping in the same large room together every night. Remus had, more than once, been barged-in-on while occupying one of the showers, and had learned quickly to get over the idea of any modesty amongst his new house mates. They were all family—a bizarre and unlikely mix of people—but family, all the same.

Despite the lack of privacy, Remus liked the dynamic here. There seemed to be more structure to this new version of The Order, almost a hierarchy of responsibility. Everyone understood their place and what they were meant to do, and they all talked everything over before making decisions. This level of honesty amongst comrades was not something he had seen in his own time. Remus appreciated the effort the others put in to ensure that everyone was involved with every move made.

As much as he respected the pecking order and the camaraderie amongst them all, he longed for more than ten minutes of alone time with Hermione. She was important here—constantly being pulled away to answer a question or look at a wound or help research something. Remus hadn't been completely useless in his time here. In fact, he spent many hours in the library with Justin and Theo researching and tinkering with new charms. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't enjoying it. It was good to feel useful for something other than his lycanthropy.

Still, things between himself and Hermione had been awkward at best. She seemed to be in good spirits overall—happy to sit next to him at every meal and to talk to him during their time doing research together. She had made sure to pass her affections to him—a peck here and there, a squeeze of his hand, a lingering embrace—but they hadn't really had an actual conversation since he arrived. They hadn't really talked things through, which seemed so unlike her. Hermione was inquisitive and usually had no qualms in asking a question or two that made him uncomfortable to get him to open up about something. And, now that she had essentially just accepted his silence, he was feeling a little...put off by it.

He was just about to open his mouth to voice this when a very strange feeling swam through his head. Almost as if his mind was locking Moony into place in the back of his brain, calming him enough to keep him from pacing as he always did. The sudden wave of docility that pulsed through him threw him off balance and he—quite literally—staggered to the side a bit.

Instantly, Hermione's hand reached out to grasp his arm just above his elbow, a look of concern pinching her face. "What's happened? You're not sick, are you?"

She sounded almost nervous, which made Remus feel nervous, and his already dizzy mind spun. "No, should I be?"

"No," she frowned. "You sure you're okay?"

"Just need to sit down, I think," Remus mumbled, pulling out a chair from the table and flopping gracelessly into the seat.

Hermione pulled out another chair, angling it so when she sat, his knee was in between hers. She brought her hands up to his face and held it in her palms for a moment, studying him closely. "You don't feel feverish—well, no more than normal. What's it feel like?"

"Er—I'm a little dizzy, honestly. And, I...well, I don't really know how to...it's like he's calm. And he's never calm."

Her eyes flickered back and forth as she scanned his face, no doubt looking for the glint of gold in his eyes that would tell her Moony was listening. He was strangely certain she wouldn't see it.

"But, otherwise?" she pressed, "You feel okay? I don't need to pump your stomach?"

"No, I don't think so."

She bit her lip and slowly nodded, her thumb rubbing lightly against his cheekbone. "Remus, I think we need to talk."

"I thought so, as well."

Her hands fell from his face and instead, wrapped around his hands as she continued to look at him. He wondered what she was working through in her head—she looked so deep in thought. After several beats of silence that seemed to drag on forever, she finally spoke.

"I want you to stay, as long as you want to."

For some reason, her statement shocked him. He had been fully prepared for her to ask him to leave, to remind him of the importance of keeping the timeline intact—an annoying phrase he had heard at least one hundred times since arriving—and possibly even admitting that he was out of place. Unneeded.

"You want me...I didn't think…"

"You didn't think I'd want you here?" she asked, the hurt evident on her face.

"I wasn't sure you'd want me to stay after the way I acted when I got here," he admitted.

She chuckled and shook her head, "You are truly the most ridiculous man. Of course you were upset and angry, I wouldn't have expected you not to be. You've been through hell, Remus, and you deserve so much more than what you've been given."

The earnest look on her face almost made his next question die on his tongue, but he had to push it forth. He needed to know. "Did you—" he stopped to clear his throat, his tongue feeling thick in his mouth "Did you know that James and Lily would die?"

Her face fell and she closed her eyes for a moment before her head bobbed in a slight nod. "I knew."

"And you couldn't—"

He didn't want to accuse her of not trying. If he knew Hermione, he knew she would have done anything to keep them alive. She had been planning to stay, afterall. How could she have stayed, knowing that she let them die?

"I tried, Remus. I swear, I tried. I...I told James. I told him everything and—"

"You told him and he...why?" It was a punch to the gut and he regretted bringing up the conversation.

"Harry," Hermione whispered, her eyes sparkling, bright with tears. "Harry was saved because of Lily's sacrifice. They had to die to vanquish Voldemort and to save Harry. I tried to get to you the day I disappeared. I thought maybe we could do something—anything to stop it."

"But you didn't do the ritual."

"Yes, I did," she sighed. "James switched the amulet. Placed a duplicating charm on the locket you gave me and transfigured it to look like the stone. Remus, you have to believe me, I did everything I could to get to you. I was in the forest in Banchory when I disappeared. I—"

"I believe you," Remus said. And, he did. It seemed unlikely that Hermione would befriend James and Lily only to allow them to die, knowing she could've changed something. She would have tried to stop it. He had to believe she would have tried.

"I'm so sorry," she said, pulling his hands to her lips and pressing kisses to his scarred knuckles. "Remus, I am so sorry."

"Me too," he whispered. "I love you Hermione," he said, voice cracking with emotion, "and I should have known you wouldn't have just left for no reason."

"I love you, too."

Wednesday, April 24, 2002

Hermione dropped dittany onto Remus' bleeding palm as he tucked the amulet back under the collar of his shirt. She was glad he had agreed to stay, thankful they had finally been able to talk, and relieved that she could get some of the weight of James and Lily's death off her chest.

She felt like not telling Remus what had happened, with James and the switch, had been sitting so heavily between them. When she had finally told him and was not met with anger, but with understanding, she felt like things were finally able to move forward.

They had locked themselves in the attic for the evening, in an attempt to get a few hours of privacy. Remus had seemed nervous to do the ritual on his own and Hermione had offered to stay with him, knowing how terrifying the fear of it not working could be. When they climbed up the rickety wooden ladder that led to the trap door, Remus helped to pull her into the room and, together, they set a few charms to ward off any curious intruders.

She had told Harry they would be spending the night in the attic and to only bother them if it was an emergency, but she wasn't confident that Draco and Ginny would respect their need for privacy.

The second Remus' hand melded back together, it was on her, pulling her into his lap. She smiled into his kiss, thankful he had taken the hint when she asked if he would stay with her in the attic. She wanted to hold him, to kiss him, to touch him...and she wanted him to be a part of her again. To be so filled with him she could think of nothing else.

Remus wasted no time. He pushed his tongue past her lips and she felt her breath hitch in her throat. He tasted as he always had—tea, chocolate, cinnamon...everything sweet and lovely that she had missed—that she had craved—in his absence. His tongue continued to roam her mouth, swiping over every ridge of her teeth and tangling with her own. Soon his hands began to wander, light brushes of fingertips beneath the cotton hem of her tee shirt. He slowly pushed the fabric up over her ribs, exposing her bra and brushing the underside of her breasts with his thumbs.

She shivered as gooseflesh pimpled along her spine from the light brush of the pads of his thumbs. Remus pulled away from the kiss, his lips instantly on her neck, nipping and licking at the spot on her pulse point that was always so sensitive.

"Fuck, I missed you," he growled, biting down lightly on the crevice of where her shoulder and neck met. "I need to be inside of you."

Hermione whimpered, rocking her hips gently, grinding against him, begging for some friction through her jeans. He fell back onto the small camp bed, and she hovered over him, sighing happily when his hands gripped the round of her backside, pulling her down onto him. She sat up slightly, grabbing the hem of her shirt and pulling it over her head, reaching behind her to unbuckle her bra before tossing it to the side.

"Merlin, you're beautiful," he breathed, reaching up to caress her breasts.

She moaned as he rolled her nipples between his thumb and forefingers, the flash in his eyes going straight to her center. She clambered off of him, making quick work of the button on her jeans and laughing slightly as Remus did the same, shucking his trousers and pants down his thighs, leaving his erection fully exposed.

Hermione straddled his hips, gripping his length with her hand and pumping her fist a few times, revelling in the breathy groans it pulled from his lips. She needed him now and decided to waste no time when she hovered over him, the tip of his cock running through her folds before she lined herself up and sank down, taking his length slowly. Her breath became heavy as she stretched around him. He gripped her hips, his fingers digging into her with bruising pressure, and she stilled—overcome with the feeling of being so whole again.

Finally, Remus wriggled under her and she began to roll her hips, rising and falling in a delicious rhythm she was afraid she had forgotten. Soon, she fell forward, her chest smashed against his, his arms wrapped tightly around her waist as he thrust into her from beneath. His hips smacked against her own, a metronome to the lewd song of moans and obscenities. He pressed his lips against her neck and left them there as he breathed her in.

Impatient and needy Remus growled in her ear, tightening his grip on her as he flipped them over. He hovered above her on his forearms, his right hand holding her face as he stared down at her.

"Look at me, please. I need you to look at me," he rasped out, his thrusts picking up a brutal pace.

Her nails cut crescent shapes into his back as her legs came up to wrap around his waist, her eyes locked on his. She expected to see liquid gold swirling in the irises staring back at her, but instead was met with a soft, mossy green. It was Remus—only Remus—who held her eyes to him. Who needed her the way she needed him. Moony tucked safely in the back of his brain thanks to the Wolfsbane potion, left only Remus to stare into her eyes and pull prayers from her lips as he stroked a deep place inside of her that he alone had ever touched.

The moment his hand left the grip on her jaw to fall between them and swipe circles against her clit, she unraveled. Her orgasm pulsed through her like bursts of technicolour light, her thighs shaking from the force of it, toes curled tightly as her back bowed off the thin mattress. She could feel herself clenching hard around him, begging him not to leave and a few erratic thrusts later, he followed her over the edge, cursing loudly and staring down at her.

Remus fell atop her, his face buried in her chest as he pressed feather light kisses into the soft flesh of her breasts. Her eyes blinked lazily as her breath came back to her body and her heart rate began to slow down.

She wanted to say something, to tell him how much she had missed him—this—but she couldn't bring herself to talk. The silence was broken only by ragged breaths and the groaning of the springs in the old camp bed. The need to talk dissipated and she clung onto Remus, her fingers roaming through his hair and down the back of his neck, to his shoulders, before tracing back up again. He adjusted his hips, pulling himself from inside of her and she sighed with the loss of it, but remained happily in place as he wrapped his arms around her and snuggled his face against her skin.

Hermione smiled to herself as Remus began to hum an offkey version of Here Comes the Sun and she found herself humming along with him, her eyes feeling heavy as she felt him smile against her chest.

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces. Little darling, it feels like years since it has been here. Here comes the sun, do do do do, here comes the sun, and I say. It's alright.

.

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a/n: finally, some long awaited reunion smut haha

Just a heads up, the NEXT chapter will have a content warning in the ending authors note (so it doesn't spoil for anyone). I don't typically leave CW on ffn, because frankly-ffn's lack of tagging for that sort of thing is trash. But, it's been brought to my attention that this chapter may need it. So, there's that.

anyway, thanks for reading!

xoxo

Mimi