Chapter Ninety Five:

When he had woken to find himself in the confines of a soft futon, surrounded by shōji walls and the soft musty scent of tatami flooring, Ichigo decided that Urahara's store hadn't changed at all since his last visit.

For a brief moment, when his eyes had cracked open and he'd seen the blond haired man looming over him, he wondered if everything had been a dream. But the tight grip of a hand around his own and the hushed muttering of a gruff voice which sounded an awful lot like Starrk soon brought about the reality. His powers were back.

And if Urahara's prods and pokes were anything to go by, the man was making sure everything had gone according to plan.

"How... How did you manage it?" He found himself asking, voice a little crackly, "The sword... That Rukia had? How'd it work?"

"One of many miracles, Kurosaki-san." A goofy grin, "In truth, it was Szayel-san who devised the scenario required to restore your powers. I merely provided the equipment."

"Huh." The strawberry grunted, eyelids fluttering open as he scanned the room of people, finally settling on whiskey coloured eyes, "Can you tell me more, Szayel?"

"Of course." The scientist nudged his glasses up his nose, "Giving reiatsu to an ordinary Human with no baseline reiatsu is suicide. You'd be overwhelmed, die or worse. It was necessary for your Quincy powers to emerge before we considered putting any kind of Shinigami reiatsu into you... We weren't expecting you to unlock them quite so soon after realising that though."

"Yeah, sorry... I can't really sit on my hands when my loved one's are being threatened." He muttered.

"I'm sure we can all forgive you for that," a rare smile from the Octavo, "Once you had some form of reiatsu again, it became possible to try and restore what you had lost. But reiatsu from just one Shinigami would never have been enough for someone who was as strong as you were when you lost your powers. I realised we'd need... Multiple donations. Storing it inside a sword was Urahara-san's idea. He said it was a normal process that Shinigami could transfer powers through Zanpakutō being impaled into a part of the body, in rare circumstances."

"Right... So... You guys just offered your reiatsu for me?" He scanned the room again.

"Not just us." Byakuya smiled from his side, a hand squeezing comfortingly, "You might not be able to sense it but... Everyone gave some. The other Taichou... The Fukutaichou... Your friends, Ikkaku and Yumichika... Kūkaku and Ganju... The Visored... The Espada... Everyone wanted you to come home."

"I... I don't know... What to say..." He let out a small breath, "I owe everyone a fuck ton of drinks."

"Who are you, and what have you done with Ichigo Kurosaki?!" Renji laughed.

"Fuck off." The strawberry smiled reluctantly, his expression mellowing, "Thank you. All of you... So much..."

"I am only sorry that..." Byakuya looked down, "If what was said was true... You felt that we had abandoned you completely."

Ichigo tensed, looking away in shame, "I... Was stupid. I knew there was a good reason... I knew you'd be here if you could but nagging doubts turned to poison. I didn't even realise that Makoto... Or... Ulquiorra was pulling my strings... Making sure I felt like I was right, that I was alone..."

"Everything could have been handled much better, on both sides." The Kuchiki heir muttered.

"What's this? Byakuya Kuchiki disagreeing with protocol?" He offered a small, uncertain smile.

"There is a first time for everything." Steel eyes seemed to warm with amusement.

"Well, without further hesitation, I can confirm that your powers are back, exactly like they should be." Urahara clapped his hands together in contentment as he removed his hat from his head, "You are a Shinigami once again, Kurosaki-san."

"I'm not though, am I?" He raised an eyebrow at the blond, "You can't play games with me now Urahara-san I know the truth. I'm... Fucked up."

"How so?" The blond seemed confused.

"A Shinigami dad, a Quincy mum... A Human body and a Hollow in my head? That screams normality to you does it?" He scoffed, lips twitching as he heard a low chuckle from Grimmjow.

"You're unique, Kurosaki-san. You always have been." The man replied, "Perhaps I should have told you about Masaki sooner but... There never seemed like a good time."

"There's never a good time for those kind of chats." He shrugged, "I don't blame you."

Any reply Urahara may have been about to give was silenced when Unohana entered the room, Ichigo's attention instantly snapping to her like a hawk.

"How are they, Unohana Taichou?"

"Your Human friends are fine, Kurosaki-san." She offered him a comforting smile, "Ishida-san will take some time to recover fully, it seems quite a surmountable level of his reiatsu was taken when that Hollow tried to begin his ritual."

"Making an Ōken with Quincy... Seems ridiculous really..." Ichigo muttered, "He'll recover though?"

"He will be fine. His wife took over healing him as soon as she was able to, I am sure he will be up on his feet in no time. As you saw earlier, the children are back to normal, and your other friend is up and talking already."

"Thank you." He said softly, the remnants of worry seeping from him immediately, "What a day..."

"Unohana Taichou and I will be returning to Soul Society now that everything is in order. The agreement for so many of us coming to the World of the Living was that at least two of us returned to give a full report as soon as everything was settled." Hitsugaya pushed away from the wall, "Everyone else has leave to remain here until you are fit to return as well, Kurosaki."

"I appreciate it." He murmured as he watched the pair leave the room. He could sense their reiatsu disappear as they left through a Senkaimon, he was sure he could almost hear the gentle tock of the doors sliding shut again.

Ichigo felt ready to go back, he wanted to see Seireitei again. He wanted to see the rest of his friends. He wanted to thank everyone for working so hard. But he also wanted to rest. It had been a long time since he'd felt content enough just to relax and not worry. Everything seemed... Okay. Izanshi was dead. Ulquiorra was dead. His friends were going to heal. He was strong again. Byakuya's hand was still gripping his own.

"Part of me doesn't quite believe this is happening." Ichigo whispered.

"I know exactly what you mean." The nobleman replied, "I've spent so many nights wondering how we might bring you back, restore what you lost... Pinning all my hopes on Urahara's intelligence but... I never... I mean I... I was worried it would never happen."

"I'm sorry, for leaving things the way I did... I had no choice." The strawberry swallowed, "Aizen was... No matter how strong I was he wouldn't have stopped until he had no other choice. I had to push with everything I had... No matter what the cost was."

"I know." Byakuya's smile was sad but understanding as he leaned down and kissed the back of Ichigo's hand, "I know you did. And you won. You did what you always do. You kept getting back up and pushing onwards. Refusing to surrender. Refusing to stop. You wouldn't be you if you weren't willing to risk everything."

Ichigo rolled onto his side, propping his head on his arm as he stared at the marvel that was Byakuya Kuchiki. It took his breath away to see him again, properly, rather than in memories and dreams. His new, slightly longer hair suited him. His eyes were the same metallic steel colour he remembered, but somehow they seemed wider, more open and willing. His lips showed a barely there smile, curved with a softness which was almost invisible.

He wanted to kiss him, wanted to rekindle everything that had been stripped away. But he couldn't. Not yet. They still had to talk. They had to clear the air. They couldn't do that with the Espada and their friends hanging around them.

Urahara rose to his feet, almost seeming to sense the thoughts he was having, "Don't stay up too late, all of you. It has been a long day and a long night for Kurosaki-san. Let him rest." He said as he disappeared through the door.

Swallowing the sudden lump he felt in his throat as the door slid shut, Ichigo sunk back against the futon, eyes cast around the room at everyone still present. The Espada, Rukia and Renji, Byakuya. It was like a dream.

"Everyone... Thank you."

"You're our friend, Ichigo," Rukia smiled at him, "We'd never just abandon you."

"I know."

And he did. Every annoying concern he'd felt during his months in Karakura had fizzled into nothingness and regret. If he'd sat down to think about it properly he would have realised, would have accepted the fact that his friends would do whatever they could to bring his powers back. They wouldn't abandon him, not after everything they'd been through together. He'd been impatient. He'd lost faith in them. It had been foolish. Silly. He knew that now. He had to make amends for it.

And having them all here, all around him. He could feel them. Their beings, their reiatsu. Familiar, welcoming, warm. It was like nothing had changed. His friends. His family. They were exactly as he-

He sat up sharply despite Byakuya's protests and stared at Rukia again. His eyes were wide, unblinking as he took in her form. She barely looked different beside her gloves and her short bob of hair. But he could feel it. The pulse of her reiatsu was different. Stronger. Prouder. Complete.

"Did you..." He paused, shaking his head in disbelief as he even considered it, "Did you achieve Bankai?"

"How..." She spluttered, "How did you know?!"

"After all this time, you're still surprised by anything he does?" Renji snorted, grunting as he received a punch to the ribs.

"I did." Rukia seemed to hold her head just a little bit higher, "I don't have complete control over it yet and it's dangerous for me to use it. But I am receiving some additional training from Hitsugaya Taichou."

He smiled brightly at her, he couldn't feel any more proud than he did in that moment, "I bet its beautiful."

"Beyond words." Byakuya hummed, his expression too spoke volumes about the pride he had for his sister, "It is simply beautiful."

"Thank you, Nii-sama." She flushed.

"I can't wait to see it, when you're comfortable showing me." Ichigo grinned, "The most beautiful sword in Seireitei... Has a Bankai. Wow."

"What of your own Bankai?" Harribel asked, head tilted to one side, "I thought for a moment, against Ulquiorra, that you might use it. But you didn't."

"Uh..." He licked his lips as he thought about it, eyes moving towards the two black blades resting against the wall beside him, "A lot of things are different now. I'm going to have to relearn almost everything."

"I will help you." Byakuya said softly, kissing his knuckles again, "We trained for your Bankai in the past, I am willing to do the same again. I am certain that no matter how different your Zanpakutō is now, your Bankai will be even more powerful than it was before."

"Yeah," Ichigo snorted suddenly, "Maybe my Bankai will even work properly this time."

"What do you mean?" Renji asked.

"Well, you know... Bankai is meant to be bigger than Shikai. Yet mine was the wrong way around. Instead of expanding, it condensed. Sure it made me faster and the attacks were stronger but... If you look at your own Bankai, or Byakuya's... It's a bigger version of what you already have."

"He has a point." Byakuya twitched an eyebrow before sighing, "It will be... Interesting to see how different your fighting style will be now."

"Hmm, you've joined the rarer ranks of Soul Society." Renji folded his arms, "Only Ukitake Taichou and Kyōraku Taichou have two separate blades for their Zanpakutō... I'm sure they'll be over the moon to have someone else to talk to about the specifics of it."

"I might well ask them for some training as well." He shrugged, "I worked off instinct in the fight, but I need to learn to use two swords properly."

"You will be fantastic, no matter what." Nelliel beamed, "I was so happy to see you pull on your mask! Does that mean... Did our... Did our reiatsu work? Did we really bring Shiro back too?"

"You did." He nodded once, "But he's... Different now."

"Oh?" She almost seemed worried, "Different... How?"

Ichigo smiled faintly, remembering the conversation he'd had with the Hollow, "Shiro's... Kinder? Warmer? I'm not sure how to explain it but... I feel like I can trust him now."

"Is he still homicidal?" Grimmjow asked.

"No." He replied simply, "He enjoys the fight, the bloodshed, the risk. But... He's lost his cruel streak."

"Hmm." The blue haired Espada seemed to mull it over for a moment, "Can he still do the thing where he pops out of you for a chat?"

"They both can." He nodded once, "But they won't... Not for a while."

"Why not?" Starrk frowned.

"They..." Ichigo gave an almost smile and then yawned quietly, "They're happy just existing again. They just want to make themselves at home."

"Understandable." Byakuya tilted his head, "I think you need some rest though. You're tired. Today's taken a lot out of you."

"Mm." He pouted.

"We will still be here when you wake." The Kuchiki heir said, almost as if sensing his concerns about sleeping and waking only to find the place empty.

"Shh." Ichigo grumbled, sliding further down into the futon as the covers were thrown over him, "No need to tell everyone."

"My apologies." Byakuya's expression turned serious as he stood up, "Alright, everyone out. Urahara's already shown you your rooms for the duration of the stay. He needs sleep."

The strawberry heard the murmurs of his friends telling him to sleep as long as he needed, watching through heavy eyelashes as they began piling out of the room in a steady line of Shinigami and Hollow bodies. He returned Nelliel's wave with a limp one of his own before yawning hugely. His hand snatched out suddenly, grabbing Byakuya's wrist as his eyes snapped open again.

"Don't go." He would have felt pathetic for the request if he hadn't been so tired.

"I wasn't going to." The Kuchiki heir leaned down, "I'm just shutting the door."

Grunting in the affirmative as he relaxed, he heard the soft patter of his lover's footsteps getting further away, only for the sound of the door clicking to announce his footsteps returning again. As he watched the Kuchiki heir return to his seated position at his bedside, Ichigo felt some of his weariness fade again. Anxiety pulling at him.

He sat up despite Byakuya's protests and hugged his knees. He stared at the bedding restlessly, his heart bounding painfully.

"Byakuya, I... I don't know what to say to you..." He whispered.

"You don't need to say anything, not yet. You can rest. We can talk later. There's no rush." Came the soft response.

"But I... I'm not sure I can rest before... At least talking a little..." He paused, finding it hard to even find the words, "I... Messed up. I really messed up and... I don't know how to put it right. Saying that Ulquiorra was dripping poison in my ear barely makes a sound excuse, and... I don't want to make excuses anyway..."

"Ichigo..."

"Please, let me... Get this out..." He gritted his teeth, "I... Was going to willingly betray you... Let him touch me, fuck me, I would have submitted to the man who raped me and I didn't... Didn't even realise it at the time. I thought... I thought that if I blotted out the pain and the loneliness, then I could move on..."

"You... Truly believed at the time that I would not be returning for you, didn't you?" Byakuya's voice was quiet.

"Yes." He muttered harshly, "Looking back, I know it was stupid. There was no way, no way at all that you'd abandon me after everything we went through together. I don't know what happened to me! I got so wrapped up in self pity that... I doubted you... I tried to hate you..."

"I saw how you reacted when Ulquiorra taunted me with what you had tried to do. The shame... The hurt... The guilt..." The nobleman's voice was barely above a whisper, "I could see the torment making you crumble. I believe... That was always his plan."

"I don't understand."

"Making an Ōken for Aizen may well have been his primary objective, but I don't think Ulquiorra would ever have forgiven what you had Shiro do to him. He wanted to break you. Emotionally, physically, spiritually. Assuming the form of someone you could befriend, someone you could rely on was simply the first stage of that assault."

"It doesn't make it alright." He hissed.

"Ichigo..." The nobleman reached out and stroked his cheek, "Grimmjow told me what you said. That you had given him permission to pursue his feelings towards me if it made us both happy. It broke my heart to know that you thought that, that you believed I would ever move on. But that isn't to say I was never tempted to try."

Ichigo looked up at him in surprise, "You..."

"Got very, very drunk." Byakuya smiled in spite of himself, "I'm not proud of it, and I believe I have only Grimmjow's respect towards us both to thank for the fact I did not beg him to fill the void left by your absence. Despite appearances, he's something of a gentleman. I know the regret and the self loathing of even considering moving on... And you resisted that urge for months. You only broke when you couldn't take it anymore."

"Why... Why aren't you screaming and shouting at me?!" Ichigo demanded, biting his lip so hard it hurt, "I can barely stand to be in your presence, knowing what I wanted to do... How can you sit there and... Be so calm..."

"Because he is dead." The Kuchiki heir said simply, "And because I know that in any other situation where you were not slowly being emotionally manipulated, you would never have considered betraying me."

"I feel like we're discussing the semantics of Aizen fucking Shiro, and Shiro fucking you all over again..." He muttered, picking at his bedding restlessly, "I hate what I was like. I was pathetic, weak... For a moment I turned into Aizen, demanding the same rules, the same obedience. I hate myself for it."

"I wish you wouldn't." Byakuya said in a hushed voice, "I could never hate you. Yes, it hurts to know that you wanted sex with another man... But I knew how much you used sex to cope with your life from the moment we spoke in the bathhouse, so long ago. It seemed rational that eventually, when life became too difficult, you would do what you had always done to survive."

He snorted, "Seems like you know me better than I know myself."

"I'd like to think we're about even on that score." The raven haired Shinigami smiled small, "You forgave me for bedding Shiro. I do not think our circumstances are so different. I too was desperate, lonely and isolated."

"I think you are being too kind."

"You want me to punish you because you cannot punish yourself." Byakuya said, "I cannot punish you. I have behaved abominably towards you, leaving you here to suffer alone. Not even sending a message when the Espada visited you. I could have come to see you, but instead I wallowed and followed orders. Like I always do. Because when it came down to it... We both went back to what we know best. I do not know how you can even bare to look at me."

"D-Don't... Please..." Ichigo clenched his fists, shoulders tight with tension, "You did what you were told to do for the protection of Soul Society. You did what you had to do. There's no knowing what could have happened if you had disobeyed your orders. Izanshi could have snatched you, could have impersonated you... Yes it hurt, yes I felt alone... But you are here now and I still love you!"

Ichigo let out a choked breath as the words broke free, his eyes swimming with tears. He watched as Byakuya's gaze snapped up to meet his and they were both silent for what felt like an eternity. The nobleman seemed to relax a little, his lips even daring to curl into a half smile.

"I love you too." The nobleman whispered, "And I always will."

They met in a shy, chaste kiss. Byakuya's hands gently coming to rest on Ichigo's cheeks as he held him close, while Ichigo's hands found their way to the man's chest. Resting delicately in place. Neither of them deepened the kiss, neither of them empowered it with passion or need. They simply allowed themselves the pleasure of being able to touch again.

As Byakuya parted, he guided Ichigo to lay down, stroking his hair sweetly, "Now, I have distracted you for long enough. Sleep. We can talk more tomorrow."

"You don't... Have to tell me twice." He muttered, sleepiness already returning as his eyelids drooped.