It was a strange expression that Mademoiselle Renee Lapointe wore on her face, but one must really understand the circumstance that she was in. She was sitting outside, in the dark, in the cold, all by herself, after having humiliated herself in a very public and very avoidable way. Understandably, it was not a very nice predicament to be in. Then, her quiet solitude was interrupted by perhaps the last person that she wanted to see.

"Hello, Mademoiselle. You look cold." Serge had said.

Renee thought that she might have liked for someone to come out there and find her, but when faced with her former servant, she found herself rejecting the idea entirely. She saw him laughing on the sidelines as she made a fool of herself. She knew how he felt about the matter. After all, that was what drove them apart, wasn't it?-Her ignorance and her foolishness; so what better poetic justice was there than this? So any relief she might have felt from seeing an old friend come to her in a time of need simply wasn't there. In fact, they could hardly be considered "old friends," could they? Their relationship was contractual. He had merely worked for her for a number of years and she compensated him for that labour. That was the end of it.

So instead Renee frowned upon seeing the man. She furrowed her brow and crossed her arms, both in an effort to keep herself warm and in an unconscious effort to close herself off from him. In doing so, she brought up a wall between them, preemptively defending herself from an ambush that hadn't even happened.

"Of course I am." the woman replied, turning her face away from him in order to stare straight out into the trees. "Lord Phantomhive dragged me out here and then left me without a coat. Truly, he can be a gentleman in most cases, but he can be a bit oblivious."

"Well, he isn't courting you, so that's probably just him making his intentions more clear." Serge suggested. Putting his hands in his pockets, he brought his foot upward before resting it on the bottom step. "Are you not going to come back inside?"

"I highly doubt that I am welcome there. After the horrible display I put on, I must be the talk of the party. I would have to be mad to show my face there again." Then, Mademoiselle Lapointe turned to look at her former servant, her eyes narrowing. "What business do you have out here, anyway? Have you come to mock me further? Gloat about how you were right and I am wrong?"

"Forget it." Throwing up his hands in the air, Serge shook his head with a huff. "I don't know why I bothered. You're fine out here. I'm going back inside."

"Wait!" She called out to him, but hadn't really thought far enough ahead to consider what she might say. What did she want to say? It wasn't clear to her as her feelings seemed muddy. Nothing was ever clear or straightforward anymore. The world was confusing and it only seemed to become increasingly more confusing as time went on.

She remembered a time when roles were set. Things weren't complicated. You were who you were and that's all that you were and all that you ever will be. She was born a noblewoman. That was her role and she played it perfectly—at least, that's what she thought. Regardless, things didn't turn out as they were supposed to. She became a vampire, she outlived her peers, formed a coven, lost her coven, fled to England, and wound up all alone. She never became a wife or a mother like she was meant to. The world was a confusing, chaotic, place and she was becoming increasingly more and more aware of just how little she knew. That naivety, which had kept her perspective world pristine, vibrant, and uncorrupted up until now had made her ignorance and ill-prepared to handle living without relying on others to humour her and keep up the farce.

Now she had no one and the bubble had popped. Those roles which were once sacred were now meaningless. A pauper today could become the spouse of an Earl tomorrow, a servant today could become a banker tomorrow, a respectable noblewoman yesterday could become a friendless annoyance today. Really, it started a long time ago, she realised. It was just scary to do so. Acknowledging it felt like it meant that she could never return to the life she once had, but that would just be another illusion, wouldn't it? It was just more lies to protect her ego and shield her from reality.

The shield was becoming thinner and thinner and was bound to shatter in some horrible way sooner or later. When it did, she would inevitably be harmed in the aftermath as well. Maybe it already has. Maybe this was that moment. If it was, then all she needed to do was bite the bullet and cross over the threshold.

"I…" But it wasn't easy. It was a big risk for her. She could try and fail anyway. Yet it was still a risk that she needed to take someday. "I…"

"What?" Serge questioned, looking back at her from over his shoulder. "What is it that you want to say?"

Renee's initial instinct was to recoil from the harsh tone with which he spoke to her, but still, she pressed forward, even if she was slow at it. She pressed her lips into a thin line, hesitating to speak her mind. She couldn't bear to look at the man as she opened her mouth and instead, looked down at her hands in her lap.

"I'm sorry…"

"What?" the man questioned.

"I'm… Sorry."

"'Sorry?'" Serge scoffed. "You're sorry? It took public humiliation to get you to say that?"

"I know, I should have just listened to you when I hurt you. I… I just didn't understand then. I didn't know how or why that hurt you. And then I went on to hurt Caroline… I need to apologise to him, too, but… I am sorry, Serge."

Turning to the side, the man faced her a bit more properly, still keeping one foot poised to walk away should he need to. "So what now?" he asked. "What do you expect to happen now?"

"I… I don't know…"

"Do you expect me to come back to work for you?"

"No! No… I don't expect that…" the woman replied before finally looking up. "I… Don't want that. It wouldn't be good for you, especially not after all of this. No, you should think about your current career. It sounds… Promising."

"And you're alright with that?"

"Not really, no." Renee confessed, smiling ever so slightly. "My life would be drastically better if you were still my servant. You kept the house running smoothly and I just can't compete." She added, causing Serge's frown to deepen. "Yet, I'll never learn if you came back. I know I wouldn't. I would slip back into my old ways and I would never improve or grow. I also know that it isn't what's best for you. It's true that my life would be invariably better, but yours wouldn't. You deserve to have a life of your own and live it for yourself instead of letting me keep it."

Serge's eye flickered downward at that. Reaching up, he scratched the back of his head as he ruminated on that. Stuffing his hand back into his pocket he slowly moved up the steps of the gazebo and made his way over to the table his former employer sat at, causing the floorboards to creak with each step he took in his nice, new, shoes.

"That's… Unexpected…" he stated, taking a seat across from her. "I definitely thought you would ask for me to come back."

"Do really you have such little faith in me?"

"Would you find it offensive if I said that I did?"

"Yes." the Mademoiselle replied, "But then I would have to concede that you may have been right earlier in the day. Now, my mind is made up, however. I wouldn't let you set foot in my house as an employee even if you asked me to."

"Those are some strong words, Mademoiselle. It's somewhat unlike you." Serge said with a small laugh, causing the woman to smile fully before covering her mouth with a gloved hand. It was strange to be speaking to Serge like this. It felt candid and somewhat inappropriate, given their positions in life, but she shook the thought away. No, this wasn't inappropriate. It felt different not because it was wrong, but because this was the first time the two had ever spoken to one another from the position of equals.

"My conviction to being better must be strong, or else I'll just fall back into old habits. If there's ever another time where you try to talk some sense into me, I'll try to be a better listener from now on."

"Hm? Well, now that it's been said, I'll have to hold you to it. It'll be difficult becoming a modern woman, but if you can put in the work, I'm sure you can do it."

"I need to come up with a plan on how I'm going to do that, though. What is a 'modern woman?' And how can I become one? I assume that I will have to master taking care of the house by myself and be more friendly to others… Perhaps I should consider getting a proper job as well… The women in Gehenna don't really seem to want my lessons on how to be a proper lady, and really, it makes sense, now, given that that is no longer the way to be one…"

"In that case, perhaps you can ask Kristopherson Miles for one? He's at the party."

"The tailor? I can sew, but nothing too complicated…"

"He had people who mend clothes, but your embroidery skills could prove useful! Or perhaps you could play piano for the Gehennan Band?"

"Maybe so… I'll have to think about it, first." Renee stated. "I hope I can really do something like that… I've been around for over a hundred years, but come to think of it, I've never actually had a job before! That's a bit sad, isn't it?"

"A little bit, but there's always the future. As long as you can find something, resolve to do it, and keep firm at it, I'm sure you can make it, even if it's going to be difficult at first."

"Yes…" Without thinking, Renee squeezed her hands together tighter as they rested in her lap. Pressing her lips together in a thing line, the woman wrinkled the space between her eyebrows as she furrowed them.

"What is it?" Serge questioned, breaking her concentration.

"Pardon?"

"You're making that face." the man replied.

"What face?"

"The one you always make when something is on your mind that you don't want to talk about."

"Oh…" the woman answered, looking down. "It's… It's not something I don't want to say, but rather, something that I do, but don't know how to say it…"

"Go for it. I promise I won't laugh…"

"Well, the thought of you laughing hadn't even occurred to me, but know that you've said it, I'm not sure if I want to!"

"Fine." Serge laughed anyway, finding this side of her to be cute, even if it sometimes manifested in poor ways. "Don't say it, then."

"You're so difficult, now." his former employer remarked with a pout. "You were a lot nicer when you didn't have such a smart mouth." In response, the man simply offered a shrug and a smile, but in doing so, it made the situation click in Renee's head.

"Alright," she said, "That's just how it's going to be. You're not my servant, so… I shouldn't expect that level of… What is it? Respect? Reverence? Whatever. Regardless, I shouldn't expect the way we interact to stay the same because the nature of our relationship has changed."

"You're getting good at this." Serge replied.

"It's hard to reframe things from this… strange, new, perspective, but I'm trying my best." Renee stated. "Anyway, what I wanted to say was… Even though we can't have the same relationship ever again going forward… I do hope that one day, we can maybe be friends. I'll certainly settle for acquaintances who tolerate each other, but… yeah. That's what I think."

That didn't surprise Serge in the slightest. Really, he had expected it much sooner. It was the way that she phrased it, however, that he found surprising. It wasn't exactly "eloquent" by her own standards. She stumbled over her words and spoke to him rather candidly, trying her best to respect the boundary he had established. It was pleasant, even though he wasn't so sure if it was permanent.

"Maybe." he nodded. "That would be nice. I can't promise anything right now, though."

"Of course, of course! I don't expect you to! I know I have to earn it, first. I was just putting it out there, I suppose. Overall, though, I think I feel a bit better about things, now! Even though I still need to somehow apologise to Lord Lexington. I need to figure out how before going back in there. I'll be too frightened, otherwise."

"Why don't you just walk up to him and say what you said to me?" the man questioned. "That may not please the crowd, but it'll be a start. Or perhaps you could write him a letter or something."

"If I do that, then the party will be over the moment I decide to linger… No, it must be tonight, I'm afraid, as much as I would prefer the latter." she stated. "Should I just… Wing it?"

"Perhaps you should see if you can speak to him privately, like we are now."

"Can you imagine him coming out here with me willingly?"

"Doesn't have to be out here." Frowning, Serge let out a sigh. "Are you sure you really want to do this?"

"No. I mean, ideally not, but I need to—both for the sake of my own reputation, but also for the sake of making things right." It was Renee's turn to sigh. Then, taking a deep breath, she straightened her back and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. With a composed expression that could only be forced, she abruptly stood, breathing out again.

"Alright." she continued. "I'm going to do this. I cannot stay here any longer, or else I might manage to talk myself out of it."

"I'll go with you."

"You may if you like, but… It isn't your duty." Upon realising that she was about to head inside, she suddenly remembered how cold she was and wrapped her arms around herself. "Thank you for listening. I'll be taking my leave, now."

She began to walk away, heading toward the steps of the gazebo, and didn't even turn around to face her former employee when she heard his chair moving. Renee stepped one foot at a time in front of her, being careful as she descended the steps in her high heels, knowing that the perilous journey back to the mansion was only going to make it harder to walk. When she reached the bottom, she took a few more steps, being careful to stay on the stepping stones, before finding her enveloped in surprise warmth. Letting go of her arms, she grasped onto the fabric of the jacket hanging from her shoulders, turning her head as Serge stepped beside her on the grass.

"Just until we get inside." he said. "I'm working on this whole 'gentleman' thing, is all. Lord Phantomhive just seems oblivious."

"What will you do when we get there?" Renee questioned, only starting to move again when Serge began to walk.

"See this through. I want to know how serious you are. It's not too late for you to back out, after all."

"Please… A lady always keeps her word, even in difficult circumstances."

"How noble…"

"Of course. I am a noble, after all." she said with a playful smile. "Thank you for the jacket, though. I knew I was cold, but I didn't realise just how cold, it seems."

"Don't worry about it. It was the gentlemanly thing to do."

When they returned, they were not met with a very warm reception, as expected. Rather, Renee wasn't. The crowd was indifferent to Serge. It was an embarrassing predicament to be caught in, but it was a predicament of her own making and she knew that she needed to live with her choices. That didn't mean, however, that she was disallowed from making any effort to make it right.

Back in the warmth and festivity, she tuned out the music and scanned the crowd, looking for her target amongst the many bodies shuffling on the dance floor. The tempo was lively and there were a lot of people dancing in pairs, including a menagerie of friends of the duo, Kristopherson and Logan, Charlotte and Amelie, Audrey and Adrian, and even the duo themselves. Renee knew better, but couldn't help but feel her heart sink a little when she saw Ciel with his arms around Jim. There was a twinge of jealousy poking at her insides like the thin point of a needle, but she knew better than to let it be the dominant emotion she felt. She knew better than to think of him as obtainable. He wasn't. He was happily married, even if it was to another man, and loved his husband very much. She didn't need it spelled out for her. She was ignorant about many things, but she wasn't stupid. His voice grew softer and his face expressed his fondness for the man whenever he spoke of him. The smile he was wearing on his face right then when he looked at Jim—God, she knew she had lost, if she was even a player at all. It was doubtful, really. The way they moved to the music in unison, completely in tune with one another as if by telepathy, simply said it all. Renee obviously wanted that for herself, even though she knew she couldn't have it from Ciel, or even tonight, for that matter.

She had a mission to focus on, even if she wasn't the least popular person at the party right then. "Where is he?" she murmured to herself, squinting as she strained to find him. Then, there was a tap on her shoulder.

"Isn't that him over there?" Serge asked, pointing out into the sea of people. Furrowing her brow, she followed his finger and thought she spotted the man she was looking for. Only, to her surprise, there was someone else with him.

Caroline was dancing with a woman. Renee supposed that she oughtn't be surprised. He was a good looking, well spoken, and very charming man whom she herself quite liked. What surprised her was the woman he was dancing with: One of the faoladh women, with her fur-trimmed cloak and short hair. Why, her hair was so short, it looked nearly buzzed! Renee had seen her around the party before, but thought she was one of those lesbian women who the Lord had invited. She didn't seem to match Caroline at all and looked strange beside him—at least to Renee.

No. That wasn't what she was intending to do here. She was going to be tolerant. She was going to be kind. She was going to wonder about whether or not this woman was a suitable replacement to her, but she wasn't going to express it openly. Renee was determined to practise restraint and be the bigger person, even though it was she who had wronged Caroline in the first place.

Cautiously, she made her way toward them as the song began to come to a close, slinking through the crowd as best as she could without being noticed. It might look bad if she made a beeline for the man after what had transpired and she realised that. All she could do was hope that no one saw her approach and decided to warn him, allowing him to escape before she could say her piece.

Applause rang out as the song and the dancers stopped, prompting the band to take a bow. Caroline and the woman with him made their way off of the dance floor and Renee did her very best to maintain her resolve. It was very tempting to run away. Maybe she could write him a letter or something. Maybe she didn't have to do this here and now. Her heart raced and she found herself frozen as she struggled to will herself forward. All she had to do was go up to Caroline, apologise, and then leave. It was doubtful that he would be receptive to this, however, and that was what had her worried. A hand placed on her shoulder, gently pushing her along snapped her out of her trance.

"Go on. You can do it." Serge insisted. "I'll be right here with you."

That's right. This wasn't just about her and Caroline, but it was also about Serge. She needed to prove to him that she was going to improve as a person. This was only the next step toward that goal. All she needed to do was try. It didn't even matter if she succeeded—all she had to do was to make an earnest attempt, and that would be enough for Serge. If it would be enough for the both of them, however, that would be ideal. Caroline was a perfectly lovely and interesting person. After all, she had thought about choosing him for herself! Even if that ship had sailed, it wasn't right to leave him like that and she did her best to accept that as it was. No negotiating, no "what if-" just be selfless for once, even if it didn't come naturally to her.

She took in a deep breath and let it out again. "Right." she nodded before straightening her posture. If she could at least look like a graceful person who knew what she was doing, then perhaps she had a chance at faking her way through this? Renee certainly hoped so as her feet started moving and the proximity between the two vampires and the incubus grew increasingly and excruciatingly smaller. Then, the incubus looked up and locked eyes with her, causing her to freeze in place. The slight crease between his eyebrows that formed when he furrowed them caused the woman with him to follow his gaze. Renee received a rather nasty look from her as well, but it was only an unnecessary excess toward running a chill down the vampire's spine. Caroline's visible displeasure at the sight of her was enough.

"I can't do this." she said. The words fell from her lips easily.

"You can." Serge insisted. "You're Mademoiselle Renee Lapointe—the life of the party in France's vampire scene. You can handle recovering from a little social faux pas."

"And is there currently a vampire scene in France? No. I can't do this. He hates me."

"A bit extreme, I think. He is merely very angry at you."

"And justifiably so!"

"Go tell him that! Then say you're sorry!"

"Hey! You!" The pair's quiet squabble was interrupted as they were approached by the faoladh that had been accompanying Lord Lexington. Fists clenched, she made her way over to them with with powerful strides, only to surprise Renee with her shorter height. She had noticed she was much shorter than Caroline, but she wasn't as physically imposing as the Mademoiselle had thought. "What business do you have with Caroline? Mind your business and keep yourself to yourself, alright?"

"I- Uh… What?" stammered Renee, instinctively putting her hands up to show she was harmless. Luckily for her, Caroline himself was hot on the other woman's heels, quickly catching her and putting a hand on her shoulder to stop her.

"That's enough, Saorsie! It's not worth it…" he said, not even looking at Renee or addressing her.

"She slapped you in front of all these people and then has the nerve to stare at you like that! How can you not expect me to say something?" Saorsie questioned. Her raised voice perked the ears of other faoladh nearby, especially their leader, who was watching them closely. As a friend of Saorsie's, it was in her best interest to be alert, but not at all in Renee's. Renee, on the other hand, simply wished to curl up and die.

"I just… I didn't mean-" she stammered, shrinking a bit as she realised attention was being focused on her again.

"Come on…" Caroline exasperatedly said, nudging Saorsie's shoulder so that she would follow him. "Let's go."

"Uhm, excuse me!" Renee piped up, immediately wishing she hadn't. The pair turned to face her again, both clearly unhappy to be hearing her voice directed at them.

"What?" curtly questioned the incubus. "What do you want?"

"I… Uhm… Could we… Could I speak to you somewhere more private?"

"No." Not the answer the Mademoiselle had been hoping for, but an answer she still somewhat expected. Unfortunately, she had not yet planned for it.

"Uhm… I just… I just wanted to say… tha-that… I'm sorry." Her mind wasn't quite able to keep up with the situation, so she merely blurted it out. "Hitting you was uncalled for and unnecessary, and, uhm… So were the ignorant things I said to you. You're a smart and interesting person and it was wrong to hurt you when you did nothing to me. Uhm…" She stumbled a bit having lost her momentum. There was obviously more to that, as she said it to Serge, but her mind had gone blank.

"You don't have to accept my apology, but it wouldn't be right of me to leave it, either…" she continued. "I'll leave you alone after this, so… Uhm… I just—There was more to that, but that's the gist, I suppose… I'm sorry."

Anxiously, she played with her fingers, clasping them together and fiddling with them as she spoke and even after. There was no response right away, save for the whispering of those looking on. Renee was so embarrassed that she could keel over right then and there. Her face was completely red, her expression strained, and her eyes felt a bit more damp than usual, but she fought it off the best she could. She searched the man's face, trying to find any hint of approval or acceptance, but he merely stared back at her.

"Caroline?" Saorsie whispered, turning to watch him as well. The sound seemed to provoke him into responding. His fists clenched and unclenched at his sides and his chest rose and fell as his face twisted into a snarl. Then all at once, it fell and he let out a breath.

"Whatever." he offered. His tone wasn't curt, but it wasn't pleasant. The man did not speak with the intention of wounding Renee, but he clearly wasn't accepting her apology with open arms. In fact, he turned, cutting himself off from her by removing her from his sight. "I don't care."

There was no arguing. There was no acceptance. The apology hung in the air but was not completely taken by Caroline when he left. Yet, it had reached his ears. His friend, Saorsie, followed suit, looking to Renee once more for just a brief second as she mulled over whether or not to escalate, before finally deciding to follow Caroline. Renee watched after the two of them as they went, clasping her fingers so hard in her opposite hand so hard that one might worry that they would break. Then, when they were out of sight, she deflated as well.

A shaky breath escaped her as she attempted to recover, only to realise just how fast her heart was racing. Her nerves did not subside entirely, but what was done was done. She had said her piece and put the idea out into the open and there was nothing more that she could do. There was some sort of calm in that—so absolute that there was no more use in struggling.

"Well… That… Could have gone better." she sighed, straightening her back.

"It could have also gone worse." Serge replied, placing a hand on her shoulder. "You did it, though. Now the ball is in his court and all you can do is wait."

"Indeed, but I fear the mood has been brought down substantially."

"No, I'm not so sure about that." the man shook his head. "We can still salvage the night, somehow. I could introduce you to some people. Just…" he trailed off, waving his hand, "Forget about the engagement for the night and just focus on meeting new people and having fun. Come, let me introduce you to my boss."

"Your current employer?" Renee questioned, following him regardless. "Is that wise?"

"Only if you're not allergic to cats." answered Serge. She felt a bit better about the prospect, since Serge knew them and could vouch for her—especially since now she seemed more like a person worth vouching for. Perhaps the night wouldn't come to a close on a horrible note, even with all of the problems it seemed to bring. The ramifications of it all would have to wait until morning. Until then, all anyone could really do was make the best of it.

A/N: Hello, everyone~! This chapter is finally done. Holy shit, it took me so long... I'm sorry about that. it was kind of a busy week. I submitted an application for an apartment and if that becomes a thing, then I'll probably be busier for a while. Until then, though, I'm hoping to keep up the Once-Every-Fortnight schedule.

I honestly don't know if this chapter will improve the general opinion of Renee lmao. I'm just a Renee Lapointe apologist lmao. She's one of those people who isn't intentionally malicious, but that doesn't excuse her general shittiness. It's that thing where you have to want to be a decent person before you can actually try for it.

I'm also very interested in the general concept of "apology." I think it's come up a few times in the past, but I like to remind y'all every now and again where I stand on it, I guess lmao. I didn't want anything to be wrapped up neatly, here, because that's now things tend to work out in reality. Serge isn't going to be fully on Renee's side until she demonstrates that she wants to change in a consistent manner, indicating that she is at least capable of change, while actually being remorseful. I think that a lot of the time, "apology" and the subsequent "forgiveness" that follows is kind of considered to be transactional. Someone asks for forgiveness and then you're kind of expected to give it to them, even when they haven't actually done anything to prove that it's warranted. Saying "sorry" doesn't mean that a person is entitled to forgiveness, simply because you cannot be given forgiveness. It's not something that you can really be "given." It has to be earned through atonement.

That doesn't mean that you must pay penance, because more suffering will not right the wrong. Atonement is simply trying to rectify the situation, but since you can't really retroactively un-fuck-up, in order to do that, you have to resolve to do better going forward and stick to it. That last bit is key. If you just say it, you're not atoning. You're lying. That makes it worse. It's like you're just compounding fuckups. It's that consistent effort to be better moving forward that will help you earn forgiveness. Mistakes will happen, but the effort is what matters.

That said, forgiveness is still not owed, even if you do all of that. Yeah, you'll be a better person and avoid the situation in the future, but the other person still doesn't have to accept and forgive you when you've wounded them. It's not petty, it's that people aren't required to allow you to experiment with them and their feelings while you're on your personal journey to enlightenment. Caroline may not ever forgive Renee. Who knows? I don't. Seriously, I really don't. Haven't thought that far ahead, if I'm honest lmao. He may never come around and want to be friends with her, and if she's really changed, she'll accept that. If she doesn't, then she won't.

Sometimes I like to go in the opposite direction sometimes. Keep things spicy.

Anyways, I'm done with this party, aren't you? Let's go home lmao.

Until the next chapter, my duckies~!