Here's a parody of the episode: Skill Crane
Outside of Lynn's Table, a man is knocking on the doors. The Loud kids (except Lori) are inside and Lynn Jr. and Lola see him.
"Dad, some guy in a suit wants to come in before we open." Lynn said.
"What? Guy in a suit? No, it's a tax collector!" Lynn Sr. began to walk away. "I'm just gonna walk nonchalantly to the near exit."
The man knocked on the door again and held up his business card.
"He's got a card." Lola read the business. "R.A. Penny Pincher: Vending Supplies."
Lynn Sr. turned around. "What? My machine has arrived?! Oh, let 'em in, let 'em in, let 'em in!"
R.A Penny Pincher came in. "Bring it in, boys." A worker brought in a machine, while another worker looked around the place.
"That's it, set her down easy." Lynn Sr. said.
"Here are the keys, Mr. Loud." R.A Penny Pincher handed him the keys. "Happy vending!"
He and the workers left the restaurant.
"What is it?" Lincoln asked.
"Only the greatest money maker since the Lynn-sagna." Lynn Sr. revealed a machine that was covered by a blanket. "Kids, meet Skill Crane!"
The siblings got excited.
"Ooh, skill crane!" Lana said amazed.
"At a quarter a pop, this thing will pay for itself in no time. Which reminds me, step up, kids. First one's free." Lynn Sr. took out a handful of coins.
"Thanks, Dad." Lincoln took a coin.
"This is gonna be fun!" Luan commented, taking a coin.
"Mama needs a new dolly!" Lola took a coin. The rest of them took a coin.
"Outta the way!" Lynn pushed past Lincoln. "I'm gonna win a prize first!"
The jock put her coin in the machine and started to play. She moved the crane to a stuffed tiger and almost pulled it out, but the crane lost the grip.
"You lose!" The skill crane said.
Lynn suddenly went berserk. "Did you see that, guys?! I almost got that on my first try!"
"My work here is done." Lynn Sr. said satisfied and walked away.
"They don't call me "Lynner Winner" for nothing."
"Well, technically, you haven't won yet." Lucy pointed out.
"Well, why don't I give it a try?" Lincoln said. He pulled out a quarter and put it in the machine.
Lynn had a smug face. "Haha. Good luck, you'll-"
"Winner!" The skill crane said as the white haired boy won a prize. "Cool! I won a panda bear!"
Lynn frowned. "Hmph, beginner's luck."
"My turn!" Lola put her coin in and grabbed a toy doll. She won it. "Yay! A new dolly for my collection!"
"I bet one of you will lose." Lynn assured.
"I can't believe you all won except for me!" Lynn said in disbelief. Luan had a Mr. Coconut head (based on Mr. Potato Head), Lisa got a rocket, Lana got a dinosaur, Leni got a kitty, Luna got a puppy, Lucy got a unicorn, and Lily got a bunny.
"Dude, just give it another try." Luna said.
"Alright. Now it's the master's turn." Lynn put in another coin and grabbed a polar bear. She mashed the "Grab" button but the crane dropped the bear.
"Loser!" The skill crane said.
"Wow Lynn, you managed to flip it up!" Leni commented. "That takes an awful amount of skill!"
"Well, thank you for saying so."
"Pan-Man says he's getting lonely." Lincoln said, holding his stuffed panda bear who he named "Pan-Man". "Don't worry, I'll get you a friend." He entered a coin in Skill Crane.
"Ha! If you think you're winning that thing again…"
"Winner!"
"There you go, Pan-Man." Lincoln won a fat teddy bear with its tongue sticking out.
"Oh, I loosened that one up for you." Lynn mentioned. "You would've never won that without my skill."
"Whatever you say, Lynn." Lincoln walked off and the other sisters, except Lynn, walked off as well.
"Hmph. I bet I win at this thing the very next time I try. Now all I have to do is…" Then Lynn had a thought bubble with Lynn Sr. in it as it appeared above her.
He echoed something he said earlier. "At a quarter a pop, this thing pays for itself in no time."
"Ha! I'm not falling for that malarkey." Lynn walked away.
Lynn is seated at a table, having a salad for lunch. Skill Crane made the sound of a winner. Lana walked by with a blue prize animal from Skill Crane.
"Hey Lynn."
Lynn sighed as Skill Crane made the sound of another winner. Luan walked by with a parrot from Skill Crane.
"Hey Lynn."
Lynn sighed again as Skill Crane made the sound of another winner. Lola walked by with a two-headed pink prize animal from Skill Crane.
"Hey Lynn."
Lola, Lincoln, Lana, and Luan are seated at a table, playing with their prizes.
"Okay guys, eat up." Lincoln set down a pan of pizza. "Pan-Man made this all by himself."
He cuddled his bear. "Oh, he makes me so proud!"
"My compliments to the chef." Lola said, voicing her doll.
Luan voiced her parrot. "Polly wanted a cracker, but this is much better."
Lynn glared as her siblings were having fun with their prizes. Then she heard a distant scratchy voice. "Lynn...Jr."
The crane is swinging back and forth. "Lynn...Jr."
Lynn sighed. "Oh, what the… Alright. Let's get this over with."
Her dad came over. "Need some change?"
Lynn handed him the dollar. He swiped it out of her hand, and gave her four coins in exchange.
"Gee, thanks."
"No, no, honey. Thank you."
Lynn inserted the coin in the machine.
"You lose!"
Lynn Sr. smiled. "Need some more change?"
He gave Lynn more coins, but Lynn kept losing over and over, dollar after dollar.
"You lose!"
"Need some change?" Lynn Sr. asked again.
"No." Lynn said sadly.
"What? Why?"
"Because...I'm all out of MONEY!" Lynn walked off angrily.
"All out of…? Hmmm."
Lynn Sr. came out of his office. "Oh Lynn, I've got something for you."
"What is it?" Lynn asked.
"Your allowance."
"But you gave us our allowance yesterday."
"Did I? I don't recall. But I've got a bonus for you." He showed her a bag of quarters. "I took the liberty of turning them all into quarters. Just in case you wanna... oh, I don't know, do buy a snack...or something."
Lynn Jr. took the bag. "Very funny, Dad. If I can't win one of those stinkin' prizes with this quarter, I'm walking away."
Six hours later…
The athlete is sitting on the ground with an empty bag over her head. Leni came over to the Skill Crane with her cat prize.
"Pardon me, Lynn. Miss Kitty wants me to win her a little brother."
Lynn scooted to the side while her older sister inserted a coin into the machine.
"You are a winner!" Skill Crane said. Two prizes came out.
"Huh?" Lynn said surprised.
"Like, two in one quarter? That's not fair." Leni put one of the prizes back. "What's that, Clown Frown? You'd rather sit next to Lovely Lion?"
Leni took the crane and moved the prizes around. "There you are, nice and cozy. See ya later, Lynn."
Leni walked off as a depressed Lynn put the bag back over her head.
Lynn scooted her way back home, then sat on the couch and sighed. "A little mind-numbing television oughta help me forget about that stupid machine."
She tried to pick up the remote, but every time she tried she failed because of the crane coming into her mind. She tried using her tongue instead and screamed in pain. Then she slid off the couch.
The scene cut to Lynn in bed. "You've had a rough day, champ. But I'm sure tomorrow will be better." Lynn fell asleep and had a dream.
Lynn was using the skill crane, as she had a grip on a football player. "Come on, baby!" She lost her grip.
"You lose!" The skill crane said in a demonic voice. The machine suddenly came to life and devoured Lynn, trapping her inside itself.
"Hey! Help! Get me out of here!" Lynn yelled as she banged on the glass. Lincoln and the other sisters showed up. "Guys, get me out!"
"Sorry Lynn, but losers belong in the Skill Crane!" Lincoln taunted. "Lynn the loser!"
The siblings laughed and teased Lynn. "Lynn the loser! Lynn the loser! Lynn the loser!"
"Noooooooooooooooo!" The jock screamed as she kept banging on the machine.
Lynn woke up, startled. "That's it! I've gotta win that crane!" She ran through her closet door and got the piggy bank, which cried a teardrop. She then ran to Lynn's Table.
Lincoln entered Lynn's Table the next day and freaked out at what he saw. Lynn Jr. was lying on the floor, exhausted from playing with the crane for hours. "Just once! Please, oh, please, let me win one time!"
"Lynn, I think you have a problem." Lincoln said with concern.
"No, she doesn't." Mr. Loud said. "You don't listen to him, Lynn. You keep playing until you win!"
He took out all the quarters that were put in the machine and poured them into a bucket. A jockstrap dropped into the bucket. "Lynn, is this your lucky jockstrap?"
"Yeah, not that it's given me much luck anyway."
"Okey-dokey then. Carry on." Lynn Sr. walked off.
Lynn bawled. "If I can just win once, I'd never play again!"
Lincoln smiled slyly. "Hey, you want me to tell you the secret of how to win on this machine?"
Lynn gasped. "Lincoln? There's a secret?"
"Mm-Hmm."
"Tell me-" Lynn's eyes get bigger. "-the secret."
"Are you ready to be a winner?"
"Yes!"
"Yeah?"
"Yeah!"
"Yes?"
"Yes!"
"Yeah?"
"Yeah!"
"Yes?"
"Stinkoln! The secret?!"
"Okay, Lynn, okay. I face the crane. Deposit my quarter. Then I close my eyes." He did all that.
"Close your eyes?"
"Quiet, Lynn. I'm being the crane."
"Oh, this is bull-"
"Winner!" Skill Crane said.
"See? Now you try." Lincoln advised.
"This is ridiculous. If I close my eyes, how will I know where the…"
"Lynn, do you wanna win or not?"
Lynn pressed her face against the machine. "Yes! Yes, I do!"
"Okay Lynn, put your quarter in."
"But this is my last quarter."
"In the machine, Lynn."
"Okay, okay." She put the quarter in the machine. "Close your eyes." Lynn does so. "Now be the crane."
While Lincoln is telling him this, Lynn is playing the game. "Be the crane. Be the crane. Be the crane."
"Winner!"
Lynn actually won this time. She won the stuffed tiger. "Whoo-hoo! Yeah! I knew I could do it!" She cheered. "I'm a winner!"
"You're a winner!"
"I am a winner, aren't I?" Lynn jumped up and down. "Winner, winner, winner!" She twirled. "Wiiiiiinner!"
She spoke over the loudspeaker. "I'm a winner, everybody! You hear that?!"
Cricket chirps are heard in the empty restaurant. Lynn Jr. goes into her Dad's office, holding the stuffed tiger. "I'm a winner."
"You finally won a prize, huh. Did the jockstrap help after all?"
"It wasn't the jockstrap. It was confidence. Just remember, your daughter is a winner!" Lynn shoved the tiger in his face. "Ha!" She ran out the door.
"I'll remember that." Lynn Sr. goes back to counting Lynn Jr's quarters. "3,498 of Lynn's quarters... 3,499 of Lynn's quarters."
Lincoln came out of the kitchen with a sandwich. "Triple decker, on deck."
"Ooh! A snack for a winner!" Lynn took his sandwich.
"Hey!"
Lynn gulped it down. "Now make way for the winner!"
A little girl is seen playing the skill crane.
"You lose!"
She sighed and Lynn came over.
"You didn't win the prize?"
"No."
"You know what that means?"
"No, what?"
"It means... you have no skills and you're a loser!" Lynn laughed. "I'm a winner, see my prize! You're a loser who sits and cries!"
Lynn laughed, earning herself a kick in the shin from the little girl. Lynn hopped up and down, holding her shin. "Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!"
Lynn and Lincoln are walking out of Lynn's Table.
"Did you see how I handled that crane?" Lynn bragged.
"I sure did." Lincoln said.
"I think I had the magic touch."
"Uh-huh."
"I just closed my eyes and became the crane."
At this point, Lincoln was getting exasperated. "Oh, yeah, you're the master."
"Lincoln, look!" A real crane is just a few yards away. Lynn ran to it.
"Uhh, Lynn, I don't think the same principles apply."
Lynn got in the crane. "Be the crane."
"Lynn, wait!"
"Be the crane." She picked up an I-beam.
"She did it! Go Lynn!"
"Be the crane. Be the crane. Be the…"
A few construction workers came over.
"You know this guy?" The female worker asked Lincoln.
"She's my sister. She's got the magic touch." Lincoln poked the construction worker. "Ding."
Lynn knocked a bunch of buildings over with the I-beam; a sign reads "Your New Mall". The construction worker is ready to explode.
"Tada!" Then Lincoln noticed the mess. "Ah! Lynn, open your eyes!"
Lynn opened her eyes. "Oh, uhh, be the crane. Be the crane." But Lynn can't control the crane and whacked the workers with a beam. "Look out Lincoln, I can't stop!"
The crane chased Lincoln and the workers.
"Be the crane. Be the crane. Be the crane. Okay, don't be the crane! Don't be the crane!"
Everybody ran in terror into Lynn's Table. The crane spun around fast and headed towards the restaurant as the workers and Lincoln duck. Lynn destroys it.
Lynn Sr. was shocked at what he saw, then became furious. "What the-?!"
"Oh, my. Ohhh, my. Uhh... Time to go, Tiger." Lynn walked off nervously, but bumped into the large female construction worker.
"Just where do you think you're going, crane master?" All the workers surround Lynn, ready to punish her.
"You ain't going anywhere." A male worker said.
Lincoln whistled. "Hang on, sis. I've got you." He used the crane to get Lynn, but instead got her prize. "I guess I can only pick up toys."
Lynn looked nervous as the angry workers growled at her. "Uh-oh."