LW: Ok, who wants to see some giant zombie fighting? Great, that's what's happening in this chapter. Enjoy :D
Rubber King and Mirror Master - Straw Hats Vs Oars: Take 2
"HA HA, YOU TINY ANTS ARE TOUGHER THAN I THOUGHT" Oars bellows, before leaping down to get to their level
"I'm tired of getting knocked around like some kid's ball, I say it's high time we knock him around" Zoro chuckles
"Wha, you do remember who we're fighting right Zoro?" Usopp squeaks
"I'm down for that, he's had his fun, now it's our turn" Sanji for once agrees with the swordsman
"We destroy his favorite meatsuit, and Moria will be easy to beat after, provided Luffy hasn't already done so while we're here with this lumux" Kaos adds, grinning wickedly
"Is nobody thinking clearly here, he's a giant how could we possibly do any of those things"
"We're not blind Usopp, plus he has Luffy's shadow, and with it his speed and fighting skills, like Ryuma did with Brook's" Victor argues but also agrees
"Oars would make a terrible pirate king" Robin thinks aloud
"Glad we all agree on that, let's kick his ass!" Franky cheers "I got tonnes of ideas, something has to work"
"Everything has a weak point" Chopper mutters
"We just have to find and exploit it" Kaya finishes, lemon yellow spikes forming on her arms, shoulders and back
'Ok, maybe with all of us working together it's not completely hopeless… but I'm still scared'
"TIME TO CRUSH" Oars growls, before jumping into the air
GUM GUM GIANT BUTT STOMP
"Clearly Oars didn't get to keep Luffy's creativity" Kaos chuckles as everyone leaps or dives away to avoid being sat on by the giant zombie "Didn't even try think of a weapon"
"In his defence all the appropriate names are taken, I mean doesn't Luffy already have a Gum Gum Mallet technique?" Alvida half jokes
"I think it's Hammer, but close enough I guess" he shrugs
GUM GUM HAMMER ARM
"Franky look out" Vivi shouts, the cyborg just about dodging in time
"Damn, you still think you can pick us off one by one, then how about we mix things up and come at you all at once" Franky says, running towards the group "Ready guys, I have a plan. We're taking this rotting beast down with Tactic 15!" he announces a few straw hats shiver at the very idea
"Tactic 15, but it's still untested!" Chopper screams in panic
"No time like the present, besides it'll never BE a tested tactic if we all die out here" Franky argues, getting a sigh and nod from the doctor and sniper as the 3 run towards Zoro and Sanji "Swordsman, Eyebrows get ready for battle"
"What?"
"Just be prepared to grab my legs dumbasses!"
"Why do I feel like this day is about to get even weirder?" Sanji asks, getting a chuckle and shrug from Zoro.
Straw Hat Docking 6: Big Emperor
What this entails was Franky 'docking' onto Zoro and Sanji by landing on their shoulders and them holding his leg secure, Usopp on his right arm, doing a claw like formation, and Chopper on his head, forming the head o their living mecha. Only problem being that's only 5, as Chopper notices
"Come on Robin, you're supposed to dock on my left arm!" Franky whines
"Just do what I do it'll be fine" Usopp adds
"No" she states flattly "I'm not embarrassing myself like that, even if the only people around are you guys" she continues
"Come on, someone has to be the left arm K…" Chopper turns to the researcher but the offer dies in his throat as he lowers his shades to glare at the reindeer, and like a predator bearing down on a prey Chopper wants to run and hide in the nearest and deepest hole he could find right about now
"Come on Vic, you might enjoy it, plus that combo attack needs all the firepower he can get" Valentina teases, the bomberman sighs before agreeing
Equipment change: BoomFist
"OK, THAT'S COOL, NOW DIE ROBOT MAN!" Oars shouts, slapping the upper half off Zoro and Sanji's shoulders, sending the 4 of them into a wall
"Well, glad that's over with" Sanji sighs
"Yeah, never been happy to get hit before" Zoro hums "Hey Franky I'm borrowing this" he calls, stabbing one of his swords into the cyborg's Heavy Nunchucks
"Fine, just try not break it" Franky sighs
"No promises. Hey Robin, while we focus on his left arm, think you can get ready to put him in a submission hold?" he asks as Sanji kicks a large chunk of rubble at Oar's head
Robin shrugs "I'll see what I can do, never had to restrain something this big before"
"Come and get me you crappy Luffy cosplayer" Sanji taunts as he runs around Oars
"JUST SQUISH ALREADY! GUM GUM…"
"Usopp now!"
Special Oil Star
The oil, aimed at Oar's right hand unbalances the giant, leaving him wide open
"Hey swirly brow, give us a boost why don't cha?"
The blond's eyebrow rises "With that heavy thing, are you nuts?"
Zoro rolls his eyes "Well, if you're not man enough I understand, women dig weaklings after all"
"What you call me you bastard, get over here!" Sanji shouts, using his leg to spring board the leaping swordsman, Greed simply using his shoulders in a similar manner, sending both of them flying straight for Oars
Power shoot
Greatshot slash
Underworld Severance
"I believe it's my turn now" Robin smiles as both attacks land
Cien Fleur: Big Tree
Clutch
The mass of bloomed arms wrap around Oar's left arm, then pull it back sharply until it's pressed against his back
"I CAN'T HOLD LIKE THIS, I'M GONNA FALL"
"Keep those planks coming little bro" Franky orders rapidly building a staircase in mid air thanks to Chopper "This will get us to the top, but it won't hold for long so we need to make it count, you ready?"
"Ready" Chopper nods as both leap off the staircase just before it collapses, aiming to punch Oars square in the face
Super Fropper Gong
"Medically speaking, size doesn't matter, one crack to the jaw with enough force and the brian goes spinning" Chopper thinks aloud as him and Franky drop to the ground, Oars teetering as they do.
"Not doing to good there big guy, only thing keeping you steady is that one leg" Sanji hums as he takes a drag of his cigarette "let's deal with that" then says as he rushes forward, almost a blur to the giant zombie
Bad Manners Kick Course
Sanji strikes Oars in the ankle, and while it took it's sweet time the joint failed and the giant began to fall, hitting the ground head first with a thud that could be felt all over the island.
"We, we did it!" Usopp cheers, leaping up and down with Kaya's arms around his neck "Nothing can beat the combined power of the straw hats!"
"OW OW OW, THIS REALLY HURTS" Oars whines and coughs
"Hm, didn't know these zombies feel pain" Alvida says with a raised eyebrow
"Proof of an inferior design" Greed scoffs, causing Valentina to chuckle
"Hey guys, we could use a hand over here!" Artemis and Robin shout, drawing attention from Oars (Which the giant seemed more annoyed by than the beatdown) and onto a more pressing matter
Meanwhile
"Stupid deadheads, can't tell one chest from another, no way I'm setting off to sea with just the bra and panties I'm wearing" Perona mutters to herself as she runs through the mansion, her aforementioned unmentionables in the small chest she was currently holding close to her own petit bosom, though if she was being honest she was fine with her zombies not putting them on the ship, for one her minions were Wild Zombies, so only wore the outfits she chose for them meaning they didn't really understand nor were able to tell the difference between different articles of clothing, and the other being that the zombification process was a crapshoot at best, and at least in her eyes better they didn't know they were there, than have one of her zombies rooting through her things like another Pervsalom.
'Hm, is that? Yes it is, like those ghosts from before but more concentrated, solid even' Kao chuckles to himself as he turns, the others have Oars for the moment, they won't miss him. Zipping away he stops Perona in her tracks, the ghost girl squeaks and backpedals to avoid the stone shattering kick from the grinning demon.
"Watch i… hey wait a minute you're the bastard that hit me through my hollows!" Perona screams, fear replaced by anger in seconds
"And you must be the Horo Horo user, sorry I didn't catch your name before" Kaos smirks
"It's Perona asshole, but don't worry you'll practically be licking my boots in a second. After that long nosed fuck I'm not taking any chances" she growls, rapidly forming Negative Hollows from her body
Negative Hollow: Quadruple Overlay
Perona grins, nothing but Usopp had managed to stand up to a single hollow, but she decided overkill was the correct thing to do with this lanky fucker. As the grin left his face one formed on hers, once he drops to his knees she can kill him and get a new bodyguard zombie, hopefully one with a better voice than Kumase. Her smile drops though when she hears it, a low growl, completely different to Absolom's kitty purr as she called it (mostly to annoy said pervert), then a much more disturbing sound: creaking bone and tearing flesh & sinew.
Grrrnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
Perona shrieks as she dives back to avoid the spear strike, confused as she thought straw hat was the one with rubber powers. He was, but as he pulled back the slightly swaying, barely standing purplette's right arm was longer than before, his long bony talons level with his knees. Not to be outdone the left limb was clicking and contorting as it stretched and extended, same with most of his body now her mind was overclocking due to adrenaline, he even looked to be getting bigger with each wheezing breath.
HISSSSSSSSS SNAH! (1)
The chest she'd been carrying was what saved her as a fang filled mouth shot forward, clamping down on it rather than her
Ghost Rap (Click)
The explosive hollows did little to deter him, though it did loosen his grip on the chest enough to drop it, not that she wanted to see what was behind it. Besides a milky pale neck about ⅓ the length of his body, his mouth more closely resembled that of a Viperfish fishman than a human at this point, long fang like teeth that barely fit in his mouth, the impact of his face hitting the chest also knocked his shades from his face, and while she'd like to pretend it was also why his nose looked flatter, it didn't explain his extended neck or skull bones.
"What the fuck are you?" Perona screams as Kaos rips off his cloak, there was a flash of something and Perona winces as her cheek is cut, then her eyes nearly fall out of her head when she sees what just missed her, the groove carved into the stone about the width of the Sunny.
"§Kill§" something a kin to steam began to leak from his alabaster skin, as it crouches and then leaps straight for her, Perona scrambling away as she counters with mini hollows, some of whom detonate against him, while 2 were caught and dissipated by the snakes that formed from the myst. Given the noise her repeated explosions made, as well as him smashing through the stone, it was a miracle nobody noticed before now, though that was most likely because Oars was making even more noise than they were.
"I don't wanna die!" Perona screams as the being in front of her lunges
Clang
"What the hell has gotten into you Shimmer?" Zoro grunts, having caught both hands with the back of his swords, Perona shivering just behind him, though swallowed thickly as he tilts his head to speak to her "I presume this is your doing, he's not usually a dead eyed berserker"
"Sort of, I don't know what's happened though, he should be crying on the ground not trying to kill me" Perona cries "I had nothing to do with the changes to his body though, that's all him"
"Messy and uneven, really doesn't fit Kaos if I'm being honest"
"Well Hebi is biting his hand, maybe that's one of the reasons" Vivi notes, the swordsman's eyes flick over to see the snake was indeed coiled around his wrist, biting down just behind his pinky, translucent black veins spreading across his hand from the bite to his currently knife length nails. He also noticed Hebi's blade appeared to be almost cupping his elbow, which was nestled in the blunt inner curve of the Khopesh's default form.
"Honestly, it kind of reminds me of my Rumble ball experiments" Chopper admits "the fruit does it automatically, and pretty much seamlessly, but when it's messed with things change in ways they're not meant to, which even if it isn't sure looks painful and uncomfortable"
"Yeah, but you're a Zoan, he's a Paramecia, this shouldn't work like that" Victor argues
"Special Paramecia, much like mythical Zoans have looser rules, which in turns makes quantifying and classifying what they can and can't do messier, at least based on Kaos' notes" Robin attempts to explain, mostly due to their Devil Fruit expert being indisposed/feral at the moment.
"Can we talk about this later, and focus on dealing with this first" Zoro grunts, the large reptid pushing him back inch by inch, then his head shoots forward intending to sink its teeth into his head…
Deux fleur: Silence
Only for 2 hands to clamp it shut, then more form around his body and bend it backwards
Seis Fleur: Clutch
"I know I've not been here long, but isn't there usually a crunch, when you do that?" Franky asks, getting a worrying nod from Robin
"Correct, it usually tells me where to stop, the fact I've just bent him backwards entirely without complaint or even a noise is… worrying" she admits, Kaos now bent at his hips with his head brushing against the stone floor, his jaw opening when it managed to overpower the 2 blooms on his cheeks "Anyone have any ideas, I'm open to…" she stops with a wince and a gasp as a tooth cuts across the side of one of her fingers, then his tongue slips out, weaving between and wrapping around her digits before tightening.
"Robin, tilt his head over here" Usopp shouts, loading his Kabuto "Also try get his mouth as open as you can while you're at it"
"What are you doing?"
"Saving our butts, haven't gotten to test this quite yet, so wish me luck" he says as he fires
Special Attack: Sleep star
The projectile releases a milky white mist when it hits it's target in this case the inside of Kaos' mouth. The Hollow crazied researcher shakes and writhes, then stills, tongue sticking out and passed the fuck out, lightly snoring as he lies there
"Well, I think it's over" Alvida smiles as Robin releases her hold on the purplette, Kaya zipping over to check her hand and grimacing at the bruising throughout her hand as well as the gash on her ring finger.
"Yeah, and all it took was one of our heavy hitters being taken out of the fight, and the ghost girl getting away in the commotion" Valentina chuckles "Good thing things are calming down…"
"I'M GONNA KILL YOU BUGS"
"Oh yeah, we kind of forgot about Oars for a second there"
"How did we even do that?"
"ONCE I GET UP I'M GONNA STOMP YOU PIPSQUEAKS INTO THE GROUND. WHEN I'M DONE WITH YOU THERE WON'T EVEN BE BONES LEFT TO BURY!"
"DAMN IT, I'M STUCK. STUPID ARMS IN THE GROUND, STUPID UPSIDEDOWN SKY." Oars complains after a moment of silence and wriggling
"You're stuck huh, well this might actually be fun"
"Shame Papa's taking a nap, that demon thing might have been a big help" Artemis thinks aloud as she follows Robin as they approach the prone zombie and proceed to try to beat the ever loving shit out of him. While it most likely did some damage, it also wrecked the surrounding area enough for the giant to free himself
"CUT IT OUT!" Oars bellows as he stands up
"Tactical retreat!" Usopp calls, leading the charge away from Oars.
"Well, that didn't put him down" Sanji frowns
"Too bad, it was a brilliantly executed plan for a change" Alvida hums
"Anyone got a plan B?" Kaya asks
"I say we reinitiate Tactic 15" Franky shouts, getting cheers from Usopp and Chopper, but you have to actually do your part and dock Robin" he orders, colour draining from the archaeologist's face
"Hey, Robin doesn't have to participate in such a childish endevo...actually, the idea of Robin docking does have it's mer..AK" Sanji groans as he receives a(n unconsciously haki enhanced) punch to the balls from Artemis
"No perving on Mom!" the artist growls "Or I'll tell Pops when he wakes up" she threatens, nobody within range sure if the squeak that left Sanji's throat was due to the nutshot or pure fear of what the researcher could do, ESPECIALLY given the 'recent development'.
"Docking complete" Franky announces, deciding to simply forgo the left arm and work this as a trio
"Presenting Tactic 15, the not so giant Pirate Emperor" Chopper cheers from Franky's head as the cyborg charges
"Hey eyebrows, give me a hand, or in this case a leg" Franky shouts, winking behind his shades
"I think I like this plan better than the last one" the blond chuckles as he stands and kicks forward, catching Franky's feet as he jumps and sending them flying at Oars, landing on the top of his head.
"You know, I'm kind of glad I wasn't included in this one" Victor sighs as Franky stomps on Oars head impotently
"That really the best they can do?"
"Docking 3 sucks!" Sanji shouts, angry he got roped into helping this
"THAT WASN'T COOL LIKE THE LAST ONE" even Oars was complaining
"That's because we haven't unleashed the secret weapon" Franky laughs, then allows Usopp to talk.
"Moron, you think you've got what it takes to be king of the pirates? You're all size and brute force, nothing but the world's biggest joke" the sniper taunts, Franky and Chopper chiming in with repeated chants of 'Moron!'
"WHAT YOU CALL ME?" Oars growls
"A handful of pirates knocked you flat, and you really think you have what it takes to rule them all? Shows that big head isn't exactly crammed full of brains now is it? Give up, you're nothing but an embarrassment"
"GRR I'LL EMBARRASSMENT YOU! I'LL SQUISH YOU PIPSQUEAK PIRATES FLAT!" Oars bellows, rearing back to punch the trio
"And jump!" Franky shouts as they manage to dodge the attack, resulting in Oars hitting himself in the face with his own fist "Yeah we did it!" they cheer
"Ok, that was actually impressive"
"Proves Oars is even dumber than Luffy though, I think even the captain would know not to punch himself in the face"
"I don't know, he might slap himself if a bug landed on his nose"
"2nd time down, really making this too easy for us there big guy!" Franky laughs
"I'M FALLING" Oars yells "OH, NEVER MIND" he hums as he manages to remain his balance "NOW BACK TO SQUISHING!"
"Tactical retreat" Usopp commands, again, taking the lead with Chopper and Franky on his heels.
"Damn it, this guy's as stubborn as he is massive, why couldn't he just fall" Alvida complains
"Guess it's back to wailing on it till he gives up" Sanji hums
"Wait guys I have another idea" Usopp pipes in
"We don't have time for any more stupid games"
"Shut up I know what I'm talking about!" the sniper shouts, surprising the others but succeeding in getting their attention "Listen, based on what I've seen, even if Oars is a big red zombie, he still has traces of Luffy's personality bleeding over through his shadow"
"But he doesn't recognize us, and calls Moria his master" Chopper argues, mostly the 2nd part
"He called Vivi Blue chick with cute face, does that count?" Robin half jokes
"Possibly, sure the shadow or at least the zombie is under Moria's control, but there are moments when the right circumstances will allow the original owner's traits to shine through, and you know what that means? This big lug's weaknesses are the same as Luffy's"
"My chest isn't big enough to distract a guy that size" Alvida deadpans, to which Vivi facepalms so hard she nearly knocks herself on her ass
"That wasn't even plan G" Usopp replies in the same tone "Are we ready?"
"Right" the straw hats nod as they split off
"Hey look it's a huge hunk of meat, you can smell it from here" Usopp shouts
"HUNK OF MEAT? WHERE? I WANT SOME"
"Yeah it sure looks yummy" Valentina agrees, licking her lips "Think Sanji will go get us some?"
"The girls maybe, the rest of us will have to go get some ourselves"
"SHOW ME WHERE IT IS! I LOVE MEAT"
Knee Crunch
"Does half way down count as 3?" Zoro asks his and Franky's simultaneous attack on the back of Oar's knees brings him to his knees
"Even if there were rules I doubt this guy would follow them" the cyborg chuckles
"We did it, taken out by simple blows to the kneecaps" Usopp laughs
"WELL, THIS WAS EMBARRASSING" Oars groans
"Keep it up everyone, all we need to do is stall the big guy until Luffy deals with Moria. Get those shadows back Straw Hat!" Franky shouts
"Honestly, it makes more sense to just take him out now" Zoro grumbles "Save time and just put this zombie down for good"
"WHAAAA! You can't be serious Zoro, we can't actually beat this guy, just keep him busy so he doesn't get in Luffy's way"
"THERE WASN'T ANY MEAT, YOU TRICKED ME, AND BROKE MY KNEECAPS"
"Pretty much" Robin nods
"A fight isn't over until you've won" the swordsman states, readying a strike
"Idiot, he's not just a giant he's a zombie, those things are built to take damage and keep moving" Sanji scolds
"Yeah he needs to be purified or else he'll keep getting up" Usopp adds
"Then why don't we make it harder for him to get back up?" Victor chuckles, "Who wants to keep Oars busy by blowing him to bits?" he asks, getting enthusiastic grins from Greed, Alvida and Valentina, and an almost reluctant nod from Sanji, who knew the spooner Oars was down the sooner he could go back to looking for Nami.
Robin chuckles "Seems there's no stopping this crew, but was there ever any doubt they wouldn't fight a giant zombie if given the chance?"
Vivi sighs, wishing for this night to be over "No, you're right about that. Even with Kaos unconscious and Luffy MIA, there are enough of us here that a fight was inevitable"
"Coming to this island, fighting Ryuma I finally got my hands on a legendary Black Blade, and now is the perfect chance to test its mettle" Zoro grins around Wado, finally able to slip into his Santoryu fighting stance again.
Meanwhile
"Gotta run, gotta run gotta run" Perona chants as she bolts out of there, screw everything else she was leaving this deathtrap of an island asap, Moria can kiss her ass she's not staying another minute and risk that thing getting loose and killing her, only that swordsman getting between them stopped her painful death, though given the burning of the wound in her side she wasn't quite out of the woods yet. She managed to get back to the Sunny when more stupid shit started happening
"What the hell do you think you're doing with all the treasure I was going to steal? And more importantly what are you doing on the Sunny?" Nami angrily shouts from the entrance of Thriller Bark
"Horohorohoro, for a second there I was worried, but it's only you. Tell me, how was your wedding with Absolom, the night already over?" she teases, a low threat like Nami helping to ease her frayed nerves
"Yeah right, like anyone would want to be married or even stand in the same room as Invisoperv" Nami says with a grimace
"So you escaped, Absolom can't do anything right can he?" she sighs, preparing a hollow in her left hand "So, what are you going to do now? As you can probably guess I'm currently stealing your ship in order to make my getaway from this hellhole of an island, particularly before the demon king wakes up and tries to kill me again. If you choose to fight I will respond and it won't be pretty. You're clearly weak as fuck so my Mini Hollow Ghost Army should be more than enough, especially given on the long nose guy and HIM…" her knees knock as Perona forces herself to calm down "... put up any kind of resistance against me"
Nami's eyes widened, but for a different reason than expected "Who, is that?" she asks, referring to the large man now directly behind the ghost girl
"Hm, who the…." she stops as her head turns, fear once more coursing through her veins as she looks into the man's practically dead, expressionless face "Fuck my life, please tell you you're not the Shikaibucki Bartholamow 'The Tyrant' Kuma?" she whimpers, Nami feeling a similar flow of panic at running into not one but TWO Warlords in one night
"Do you work for Moria?" Kuma asks with a calm, flat tone
"Master Moria? I was but not any more, I've had it with this hellhole, I just want to get away as quick as possible, I want no part in this" Perona spits
Kuma is silent for a minute before asking "If you could go for a vacation, where would you go?" confusing everyone in earshot
"This isn't the time or the place" Perona shouts angrily, before letting herself consider his question "But if I was able to get some time off for a vacation… somewhere dark and damp, somewhere with an old, creepy castle, I'd spend every day and night singing songs of curses" she sighs wistfully, then caught herself "Crap I'm not usually this distracted, come on Perona focus. I'll admit seeing you face to face gave me chills but with my Devil fruit there's nobody I can't beat" she boasts, only to see Kuma was flicking through his book absently "Are you even listening to me?" she growls "I bet you've got a pretty strong shadow Kuma, so I'll take it and leave it as a parting gift for my former master Moria!"
Negative Ghost
Special Hollow
Before the attacks could connect, Kuma had removed his glove, Perona and her hollows vanishing in nothing but a sound similar to a popping bubble. Understandably this caused every zombie in the area to freak the fuck out.
"Before you interrupted with all that yelling, I was simply going to ask you where Moria is" Kuma sighs "I suppose it's a good thing Walachia is nice this time of year, or so I've heard" he then turns his head up to look at Nami "You're the Cat burglar correct, of the Straw Hat pirates?" he asks her directly "I've heard Monkey D. Luffy has an older brother, is that true? A real one, not Medusa's offspring" he clarifies suddenly appearing beside her
"Yeah, sort of. They said Ace was their big brother but besides that I don't know" Nami admits, most of her body shaking with nerves
"Interesting, so the rumors are true then" Kuma hums, then disappears again
Nami shivers "That guy is bad news. What's his deal with Luffy, and 'Medusa's offspring', I presume he means Kaos? I better find the others and tell them about Kuma" she decides… but first she needs to get out of this wedding dress.
And back to the others
"Didn't notice before, but Shusui's heftier than Yubishiri, then again I've never used a Black Blade before so I should have expected it to feel different to a normal one" Zoro mutters to himself, dodging debris after leaping into the fight alone, managing to use his blades to slightly alter the path of Oar's punch so it missed him, it was just barely but as long as it doesn't hit him the swordsman calls it a win. "Now let's see how much stronger you make this technique ey Shusui?"
108 Calibre Phoenix
And stronger it was, the shockwave from Shusui was large enough it consumed/absorbed the other 2 blades attacks to form an even larger combo attack but the charge also threw off the aim enough Oars was able to just barely dodge the attack
"Damn, talk about an upgrade there Zoro" Franky laughs then sighs "Shame it missed though that could have done some damage"
"Shusui turned my 3 attacks into one, and possibly even upped the power even more than the 3 combined should, but this new move's too slow for my liking. Least I know what I'll need to work on after we're done here" Zoro mutters to himself, impressed by the damage output of his new blade.
"YOU LITTLE GUYS ARE FAST. YOU COULD HAVE PUT OUT MY EYE WITH THAT" Oars states
"And yet somehow I doubt him being blind would make this fight any easier" Kaya sighs
"I'M GONNA GRIND YOU INTO GOO! I'M GONNA CRUSH YOU, LITTLE BASTARD!" Oars yells rapid fire stomping the ground causing the Straw Hats to make a break for it to avoid the attacks, even if they were technically 'aimed' at Zoro the wild flailing could get any of them killed if they weren't careful.
"DID I GET HIM? I CAN'T SEE NOTHING WITH ALL THE DUST" Oars grumbles, scratching his head
108 Calibre Phoenix
"THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE, NEARLY CUT MY HORN OFF"
"Damn it, dodged me again" Zoro groases
"You had your fun now stop it" Usopp shouts "There's no point to killing this guy, the best we'd get is Luffy's shadow alone, we don't even know where yours and Sanji's are. All we need to do is keep him busy, you should have more faith in Luffy Zoro" he scolds
"I have complete faith in the Captain, but I acknowledge his biggest weakness" this confused a few of the crew members "Trickery, Luffy's a simple straightforward guy, but he's also remarkably easy to fool, and given they have an invisible man, a ghost girl and a shadow manipulator, I'd say their MO is almost entirely tricks and misdirection, none of them have any intention of fighting him fairly or head-on the way Luffy normally handles things"
"He has a point" Robin grimaces
"Yeah Invisoperv is the definition of trickster" Sanji scowls
"Plus there's the fact they don't have to beat him, just stall him until sunrise, then we're fucked, Luffy, Sanji and I most of all" Zoro continues "I may not survive this island, but I'm going to make sure Luffy gets his shadow back so he can lay waste to this island ship without anything holding him back"
"You're right about one thing, given sunrise is about 30 or so minutes away, they're really running down the clock" Franky agrees "Only good news is with fog this thick the sun will have a hard time getting down here to disintegrate you two"
"That close to dawn, we've really been fighting zombies all night" Vivi sighs, finally understanding why she was feeling so tired
"So right now all we have to keep us alive is that fog up there, really not something I want to take my chances with"
RUMBLE RUMBLE RUMBLE
"What's going on? Is it an earthquake?" Usopp screams
"Idiot, the island is a ship remember? It must have been swept up in a strong current" Valentina shouts back
Let's head elsewhere for a little while shall we
"So Tyrant Kuma, what can I do for the only Shikibuchi to follow the World Governments commands like a dog?" Moria asks mockingly "The government considers you a valuable asset in their goon squads, but I don't trust you one bit, I know when you reveal whatever you're plotting it will be something I really won't like"
"If you were to take a vacation where would you want to go?" Kuma asks, ignoring Moria's previous comment
"I'm not falling for that, I know better than to even tempt faith when it comes to your powers Panda. So once more, why are you here, is it to fight me?"
"I'm here to give a report. As you're aware Sir Crocodile was stripped of his Warlord status when the details of his actions in Alabasta were made public, it has been decided who shall replace him"
"Kishishi, oh and who would that be, I'm sure there are scores of pirates chomping at the bit to get that position" Moria cackles
"I doubt you've even heard of him, his name is Marshel D. Teech, more widely known by his epithet of 'Blackbeard' "
"Blackbeard huh? You're right I don't know of him, anything worth noting"
"He's a former Whitebeard pirate, 2nd Division" Kuma supplies "He's only recently shown the capabilities that lead to his appointment. I suppose news of his power hasn't yet reached this foggy little island, but he's causing a stir outside this bubble"
"Interesting, and what was Mr. Blackbeard's original bounty?"
"0"
"Impressive, a complete unknown. I'm surprised the government approved of such a wild card like that, but I suppose they must be desperate to fill the vacuum left by Crocodile, can't let the pirates think they're actually stronger now can they? Kishishi, I presume this is them trying to restore the so called balance of power correct?"
"Perhaps, but if I were a betting man I'd wager it does the exact opposite" Kuma replies ominously "Never mind that though, there is another issue we must discuss, something that has gotten the World Government very anxious. After Enies Lobby they're more concerned than ever about the movements and actions of the Straw Hat pirates, if they're following the Log Pose from Water 7 to Fishman Island, there is a high probability they will cross paths with this island. You can see why the Government is concerned, yes?" Moria looks confused "It's the balance of power you mentioned earlier, they don't want the Straw Hats to take out another Warlord, that would be most unfortunate" The moment he finishes his sentence Moria is in his face, hand gripping his chest
"Are you kidding me, they think I'm not up to the job! That I can't deal with some no good punks! I've never been more insulted in my life, they sent you here to protect me from a bunch of newbie pirates!"
"If you believe my assistance would be of use I'd be happy to lend a hand" Kuma states flatly, unperturbed by the current situation
"Are you kidding me, do you have any idea who I am!?" Moria screams "I've seen those brats, they're a bunch of worthless nobodies led by a rubber doll, hardly even worth my time, and yet the Government thinks THEY can defeat ME?"
"Nothing is 100% in life" Kuma hums "Just look at the battle in Enies Lobby, nobody expected Rob Lucci to be defeated, Lucci least of all, and yet CP9 was decimated by those, what did you call them? Ah yes, a bunch of worthless nobodies''
Moria scowls as he lets Kuma go "Let me get this straight, the World Government is so scared of the Straw hats they want 2 warlords to team up and take them out?"
"They only sent me here to warn you, I wasn't given any specific orders to assist you, or even offer it" Kuma corrects
"Then I'll tell you this bub, stay out of my way. Also if you need to send back a report tell them this: That straw hat kid everyone's pissing themselves over, I've already dealt with him, stolen his shadow and made it a part of my zombie army Kishishshi" he boasts
Back down with the Straw hats
"The fog, it's clearing up" Kaya squeaks, panic for her shadowless crewmates rising up inside her
"Yeah, the weather picked the absolute worst time to get better, I'm really not looking forward to the sun melting me" Sanji grimaces, his teeth clenching around his cigarette.
"Ok change of plans, we need to take out Oa…..Moria!" Usopp screams
"What?"
"Where?"
"That onion bastard is gonna get diced before sunrise"
"Oh what a beautiful morning, but are you sure you lot should be outside so close to dawn? Kishishishi?" Moria laughs, as what turns out to be a curtain like object opens in Oars' stomach revealing the warlord in all his fat bastard, oniony glory
"What, the actual fuck?"
Chopper growls "That twisted bastard Hogback, this has his grubby fingerprints all over it"
"Why even build a seating area inside your battle zombie?" Robin asks in confusion
"Does this mean they actually did manage to trick Straw hat, or that he's gone?" Franky asks, the response beginning with a mace to the balls
"Don't ever even imply our Luffy is dead, understand me?" Alvida threatens
"Plus, Moria needs him alive to keep the shadow inside Oars viable" Vivi adds, using what little logic she understands about this situation to assure herself that he's ok
"THIS IS SO COOL, DID I ALWAYS HAVE A COCKPIT IN THERE? EH NEVER MIND I'M STILL LIKE SOME KIND A ROBOT NOW! BEEP BOOP, I AM OARSBOMBER, DESTROYER OF WORLDS!"
"OarsBomber? That actually sounds kind of cool" Chopper mutters, hoping nobody was listening
"Alright you pathetic little punks you wanted the chance to fight me you've got it" Moria taunts, bit talk for a man inside a zombie gundam "Don't hold back and if you win I'll release all the shadows I stole. Come at me all at once, but you'll have to defeat Oars too, it's the only way you'll get me out of this cockpit, and the only chance you have at victory, Kishishi!"
"That's not fair at all, fighting us while inside a giant zombie" Usopp complains
"The only way to beat Oars is to beat Moria, but how do we get at him in there?" Chopper wonders
"Well it's not like there's a window or barrier between us and him, Oars put his fingers in there pretty easily" Robin points out
"True, and it means we have a smaller target area, focusing fire on Moria himself and ignore the rest of Oars, so to speak" Victor agrees
"Hey Usopp" Zoro says, getting the sniper's attention "The amount you used earlier was too small for someone of Oar's size, you'll need a mountain of salt to purify this guy which is honestly the best plan we have. We'll keep him busy while you get more salt and bring it here"
"I like this plan already!" Franky and Alvida cheer
Vivi chuckles "You would"
Moria rolls his eyes "Figures Plan A would be to locate some salt, stupid kids. Hey Oars, Long nose is trying to escape to the kitchens, deal with him, and if need be take out the entrance to the mansion while you're at it"
"OK MASTER HERE I COME!" Oars bellows launching a punch at Usopp as he reaches the doorway
"Usopp!" Kaya screams, her syrup speeding her up to keep pace with Chopper as they go look for their crewmate once Oars had pulled back his arm
"Damn it, with Moria in the backseat Oars is actually able to strategize" Valentina groans "This just got a lot more complicated"
"Fear not good straw hats, your friend is ok!" came a cheerful voice from the sky, that of Brook as he drops down, a large sack on one shoulder and a passed out Usopp on the other "I had a feeling you might need some more salt, so I went to retrieve it, seems long nose here had the same idea.
"Brook!" The straw hats shout/cheer
"Were you expecting someone else to rescue you?" he asks
"No, but the captain showing up to help kick this bastard's fat ass would have been nice" Zoro admits as they all prepare for the upcoming battle, the race against time drawing to a close.
TBC
LW: So, stuff happened, big stuff, and Oars has a command centre in his stomach, didn't see that coming. On the bright side: Zombie MegaZord!
(1) If anyone is curious, that is meant to be the noise of the Dromiosaur in episode 6 of Walking with Dinosaurs. I used to be able to make that noise, before my voice broke many years ago, no I just sound like an idiot.