A/N: Finally, a chapter finished ahead of time! Celebrations!

Credit for the information about makeup and how it works presented in this chapter (the painting comparison in particular) goes to WayofSwans, who knows a lot more about makeup than I do. She's basically the Yahiko to my Hidan. Much gratitude!

The chapter is almost exactly as I titled it. Sit back, relax, and enjoy bonding friendship times.

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Yahiko

Hidan posed in the mirror. He deliberately tried to pose in a more feminine way, as befitted the occasion. He had no idea what feminine poses looked like though, so he soon gave up, settling for poses that came more naturally to him. "This is cool!" he said while fluttering his eyelashes. "My eyes feel weird! I like weird, so I totally get why fluttering lashes is a thing now. That makes them feel more weird!"

Yahiko giggled. "Thanks. I didn't expect you to like it this much. It's pretty basic."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Hidan asked, whirling around to face him. "I said pretty colors, and you delivered pretty colors plus my eyelashes feeling all tingly. Of course I'm gonna thank you! Basic shmasic. I like it, and it's above and beyond what I asked for, so go fuck yourself and take my compliment."

Yahiko grinned. "Okay!" I didn't know it was so easy to make people happy! Nagato's happy that I exist, and Hidan's happy after maybe ten minutes of applying basic eye makeup. I seem to exist just right and apply makeup just right. Yahiko was reminded of the story about a plumber who, when called out to repair something that was maladjusted, checked the understructure and placed a single board beneath it for better support. A single board. For this, he demanded the appropriate fee for an hour's worth of work, and in response to the enraged homeowners demanding to know why they should pay him that much for placing a single board, said, "You're not paying me for the board. You're paying me for knowing exactly where to put the board."

Applying the eyeshadow, eyeliner and mascara might have taken only ten minutes, but those ten minutes were after a full explanation of the artistry of the materials, what effects they were meant to have, and an ingenious comparison to paintings that Yahiko was proud to have thought of. Hidan was muttering something about Bob Ross right now, and he hadn't previously been the type to appreciate makeup. Furthermore, the application itself had been slow and gentle, petting the area around his eyes and not merely brushing over them. That was almost certainly part of the reason why his eyes felt pleasant now. Yahiko's eyes watered with pride. I did that. I made the experience meaningful to him with my words and my actions. I did that.

Hidan turned around again. "Hey, I just noticed something."

"What?"

"No fear." Hidan grinned. "You like this enough to stop worrying about whatever was setting your phone off?"

Yahiko's heart began to beat a little faster. "Well… It's more like I like this enough to forget about that."

Hidan put his hands on Yahiko's shoulders and steered them both out of Yahiko's bathroom and onto the bed. "There's a time for forgetting, and then there're times for not. What happened? Spill."

Yahiko hesitated. I still don't know what's even happening. "Deidara and Itachi found a friendly or at least not angry succubus and went to interview her. Him. It." What pronouns do you use for a demon?

"How's it going?" Hidan asked. He didn't look at all worried about the idea of interviewing the same type of demon that had previously tried to kill them all.

"It's still going," Yahiko said. "Deidara's asking about stuff the incubus wants to know about in the group chat. Again, I'm really sorry about stopping to text in the middle of talking to you."

"Relax, Sunshine. You already explained it was something only you could do." Hidan patted his shoulder. "I'm not gonna be mad about you doing what you have to do."

"Even if...it was telling everybody in the group chat about your inability to be with a girl now that you have succubus powers?" Yahiko preemptively winced. I really shouldn't have said that on an open chat!

"That's fine." Hidan looked blank. Does he not know why that's a bad thing to do?

"You aren't mad? About me sharing such a personal thing with everyone at once? Without asking?"

Hidan continued to look blank. "Personal? What's personal about powers not getting along with each other?"

Yahiko turned red. "It's more to do with...the powers being what they are…"

Hidan chuckled. "Sunshine. C'mon. When are you gonna get it through your adorable head that I don't give a fuck about sexy topics or gender stuff?" He poked Yahiko in the forehead gently. "I'll stay away from 'em if you're embarrassed though."

"I don't understand how you can not care," Yahiko admitted. "How can you not care about something that's so important? I know you're not me, logically, but I can't seem to get the rest of my brain around the idea that you're really different from me. I know I should, but…"

"Not your fault," Hidan declared. "I kinda become whatever other people are. Not your fault that makes it hard to tell the difference."

Yahiko blinked. "Oh." Does he? Huh. Do I have this problem around anyone else? He had failed to recognize that Nagato could have similar problems as he did. He had sought out Itachi for advice, thinking that Itachi must have a perspective that he could learn from. He had successfully asked Samehada questions in order to find out what the shark wanted. I don't! I have no problem understanding how other people can have different values and things from me. I only have this problem around Hidan. "You're right! I didn't realize that was it."

"Or maybe it's the topic," Hidan mused aloud at the same time. He didn't hear Yahiko. "Something about succubus powers strikes a chord with ya, obviously. Nobody else has them. Maybe if they did, you would freak out around them too? This just seems like a hot button topic in general."

"Oh… You think maybe I think everyone is like me, but only in this one really specific way that nobody talks about so I don't notice?" That could be true too. Do I think Itachi and Nagato have the same ideas about gender and private stuff as I do? He couldn't imagine either of them talking about such things an a way that was different from how he would talk. I do!

"Maybe. Not worth drawing conclusions about," Hidan dismissed. "Doesn't really matter why. Just matters that we know to treat this topic gently."

I think I would like to have conclusions about myself. I think that's important to me. Yahiko swallowed. "Maybe."

"What else was Dei asking about?"

Yahiko's brows furrowed. "I really want to know what's going on over there," he confessed. "What could the succubus - er, incubus - possibly be curious about that he would need to know this?"

Hidan leaned forward. "What? What?!"

"Dei asked if there are any kinds of divine connections other than the kind gods have with servants or worshippers," Yahiko said. "I told him that the vampires had mentioned something about a prophet. I haven't even thought about that since we met with them. How is it important? Why did the incubus ask?" Now I'm curious about what she meant. She only said it was a long story that can be boiled down to, "he definitely had accurate information." Or something like that. What does that mean? How could she be so sure?

Yahiko was so busy with his newly sparked curiosity that he didn't notice Hidan had fallen silent. After more than a minute of hard thinking and considering half-formed possibilities, his eyes finally focused on the here and now enough to see Hidan frowning and scratching the back of his head. He reached out and took Hidan's hand. "Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot you don't like religious topics."

"Yeah, I don't." Hidan scratched harder and looked even more puzzled after saying that. "I wonder why the demon would ask about that too."

Itachi

"No."

Slam. Itachi could feel it, as distinctly as he could feel the movements of his fingers. A door in his mind slamming shut, a wall coming down. However he chose to visualize it, Itachi was keenly aware of his mind closing and turning away.

Deidara and the incubus looked at him. Deidara had a pleading look on his face, as if he knew exactly what Itachi was suggesting by that. He probably does. This kind of refusal to think must be the phenomenon that everyone else has been reporting. "No," Itachi continued. "We will not talk about this any more." Normally, he would have been worried about a sudden refusal to think about something. But, he reasoned, this is more than a refusal. This is an inability. I would be distressed if my arms burned from hard exercise and tempted me to give up, but I would not be distressed if my arms gave out entirely. Such complete giving out is a sign that there is a very good reason to give up and turn back. I will not deny the voice of reason.

"Good idea," Deidara added. "I support that, yeah."

The incubus looked at them both as if they were insane. "You are refusing to learn anything more about a being who impacts your entire lives?"

"The secret society of bicycles also impacts our lives, and we will not concern ourselves with them just yet," Itachi replied evenly. "We are technically ninjas, and have yet to fully absorb that as well. These things take time. There's no need to rush."

"I just found out today that we live in a whole separate third world that's kind of borrowing parts of other worlds and may or may not be destroying them, yeah," Deidara added. "That's why I went to hang out with Itachi. I'm taking a break, hm."

Itachi nodded. "Breaks are valuable things."

The incubus continued to look at them both as if they were insane. But then, his face softened. A glimmer of understanding crept into his eyes. "You are just humans. I suppose there isn't anything you can do about a prophet."

"So why work ourselves into a panic over it?" Itachi finished.

"Oh my god." Deidara's eyes widened. "One time when I called Kisame and we realized about the vampires, he suddenly sounded completely relaxed out of nowhere. He said he was 'dangerously fine.' I know exactly what that means now!"

Itachi shook his head. "Only Kisame would call this dangerous."

A silence settled over the table. Deidara went up to the bar to order more drinks. Itachi sat and enjoyed the comfortable silence for a time, then turned to the demon. I struggled coming to this bar because I was afraid of demons. There is an easy cure for that. "How are you?" he asked the incubus.

The demon shook his head. He looked ill, which did nothing to damper the thoughts and mental images that sprung up in Itachi's mind upon seeing him. Itachi found he was getting better at ignoring the way that certain parts of the incubus' body shrieked for his attention. Before, it had been painful to have his attention forcibly held by something he knew and felt that he did not care about. He had not been able to tolerate the contradiction well. It felt wrong. Now, after a long period of exposure to the demon's voice, he was able to let go of the idea that one of these clashing feelings had to be wrong and accept both as they were. I can care nothing at all for something that nonetheless draws me in. It's alright. That is only his power, so no use trying to fight it. Itachi allowed his eyes to linger on the incubus' hair, feeling comfortable and secure that his real desires were not going to be magically changed by this.

He was technically staring, but the demon paid him no mind. The demon looked most unhappy. "Not well," he answered. "It's not as bad as The Change. A change to the entire climate of a world does not just happen, is not ever supposed to happen, and is as bad as it gets for people like us. The appearance of a prophet makes more sense. But it's still very uncomfortable. Prophets can't change the entire climate, but they can change parts of it. Like how now, we have to deal with Buddhists, and before that guy appeared, we didn't. Prophets don't change the air, but they change the landscape."

Itachi nodded. "Something just occurred to me," he said. "You said this was a period that history turns on, but that can't possibly be true. I've long thought that this world is not a full world but rather a miniature bubbled-off portion of one, and Deidara appears to have confirmed this. It has no history to change. This region we live in is almost entirely influenced by the other worlds that overlap onto it. With time, as vampires and succubi and ninjas come to agreements and settle into routines, this world may develop a history of its own. That will probably take long enough for Hidan's existence to have little effect."

The incubus grunted. "Prophets don't do much themselves. They need other people to influence." So if everyone else is busy with far more pressing matters, such as warding off demon attacks, no change will happen even if a prophet exists, Itachi finished. The demon was agreeing with him. Already, the demon looked more at ease. "That's true."

Deidara came back with three drinks. He passed the incubus the least objectionable beverage he had been able to think of. "I don't know what you like, hm," he apologized. "And you seemed like you didn't want to talk about stuff just then, so I didn't want to ask. Is this good?" The incubus answered by chugging the entire glass.

Itachi and Deidara politely sipped their beverages. After another companionable silence, Itachi turned to the demon. "May I ask what pronouns you use?"

"I change them depending on current form," the incubus said. "Jule always went by women's pronouns. Lots of us use neutral ones, for various reasons. It's different."

Itachi nodded. "Understandable. You are all individual people, after all. You would have different preferences." The cure was working!

"Hidan says we should just keep calling him what we called him before, yeah," Deidara said. "He doesn't really care."

The incubus tensed. He silently pleaded with Itachi. Itachi slid his drink over so that the incubus would have something to comfort himself with. "What else is he like?" the demon asked as he sipped.

"Completely ignorant," Itachi answered. "He can't stand any mention of Jashin sama, nor go near the symbol. As far as he knows, he is a normal man."

"We have a symbol of Jashin in our basement," Deidara explained. "Can you blame him? The symbol is creepy as fuck! And the way he looked when he was acting all possessed is even creepier. I'm kind of envious that he doesn't have to look at himself like that, yeah."

The incubus relaxed slightly. "He acts like a normal human?"

"A normal human with the ability to feel exactly what other people feel, yes."

The incubus tensed again. "So not like a normal human. He has soul sense." In response to Deidara and Itachi's strange looks, he added, "The ability to sense souls directly. No intermediaries. Like, he doesn't need behavior or words to tell what is happening in a soul."

Deidara blinked. "I didn't think we were ever going to know where he got that ability from, yeah."

"Neither did I. I merely accepted it as a fact about him a long time ago."

"Any other facts about him I should know about?"

Itachi sat back and stared at the ceiling in thought. "Hmm. He has a scythe with strange abilities, which he feels very attached to and treats almost as if it were a part of his own body. The scythe is capable of moving on its own and, in emergency situations, manifesting its own powers."

"Don't touch his scythe, hm!" Deidara leaned into the incubus' face to insist upon this. "The thing ripped through my clay bird in less than a second! I barely escaped with my arteries intact. And he ran toward it like he was possessed afterwards, like he was half paralyzed, hm. Touching his scythe is an emergency situation, yeah. Don't do it unless you want to piss him off!"

The incubus facepalmed. "This is your definition of a normal human?"

Deidara and Itachi looked at each other. Itachi guessed they were thinking the same thing. For all that everyone in this group has fought tooth and nail against accepting what Konan has to say, she's brought us very far, hasn't she? "Maybe not a normal human, yeah," Deidara acknowledged. "But a normal ninja, yeah." He held up a hand to show the demon the mouth in it. The mouth opened and ran its shallow-rooted tongue over its teeth. "I'm one of the most normal people in our group, yeah."

The incubus finished Itachi's drink. "How often do you people come here?"

"Not very often, especially since the attack," Itachi said. "Irregularly, too. We tend to make decisions spontaneously, with little or no planning. Do you have a phone number? It would be easier to call you to tell you a decision has been made to visit the bar."

The demon gave his number. Itachi thanked him. "In our group, there is one woman and one gay man. Everyone else will be able to talk with you in this form. Hidan appreciates either sex, so he could not talk to you in any form unless he was blindfolded or otherwise had his senses restrained. I can warn you if any of these people are included. You've been very nice to talk to. I look forward to talking to you in the future."

The incubus nodded. "Normally, I can only have platonic conversation on interesting topics with my own kind. This has been refreshing."

The three of them clinked their empty glasses together, and then the demon left to pursue his trade.

Nagato

"Do you wish to be at the beginning or end of the list?" Konan asked.

Konan had remembered a half-forgotten plan of hers to use Hidan's scythe to test everyone's chakra over the weekend, and was busily attempting to resurrect it. Nagato had already tested himself extensively, so he was given free choice over his participation. "The beginning," he decided. "I didn't test lightning chakra using any kind of protocol, and I've seen what it results in. I should go first to make sure the procedure works." Konan accepted this reasoning with a nod.

"A word of warning," he added. "I can and did stop just short of performing a technique and move the chakra I'd gathered into the scythe to test what effect it would have. That's a thing we can do. But not all techniques will let you move chakra in that way, so it won't always work." He described his experience with his Pull technique.

Kakuzu grunted. "So we can't test all of our abilities using the scythe, after all." He glanced at his inner arm.

"Does your chakra remain entirely within your threads?" Konan asked.

"I believe so." Kakuzu crossed his arms. "I might be able to test it if he used the scythe to partially cut through one of my threads. Then whatever chakra I use to move the damn things might cross through the scythe. But I am not willing to try that."

Konan made another mental note. Although they were standing in a rough triangle in the lobby, with her directly next to the desk, she had no paper and wrote nothing down. She didn't need to. This was a relatively simple mission.

Nagato cleared his throat. "Now that we've settled my role in this, can I please borrow Konan? It is important."

Konan would have raised an eyebrow if she'd been more expressive. "In a way that can't be spoken of in front of Kakuzu?"

She's got a point there. I don't really need privacy just to finish getting her a phone plan. But after that, who knows what we'll end up talking about? He wanted, no, needed to talk to her about himself and Yahiko. That was most likely going to lead to places he didn't venture in public. "I think it will be."

Konan asked no more questions. Turning on her heels, she walked away, in the direction of her room. Nagato followed, grateful to Kakuzu for shaking his head and not trying to ask. I can hardly think about it myself. Not with him around. Definitely not. But that was a conversation topic for later. He pushed it aside, making himself think only of the mundane subject of phone plans.

Konan closed her door all the way, locked it, and perched on the edge of the bed next to him. "Yes?"

"I've run into a minor problem with getting you a phone plan," Nagato said.

"Describe the nature of this problem."

"After calling around to find out where and with whom to set up this thing, I found out," Nagato said. "There is a kiosk somewhere in the store where this thing can be registered. We'd just have to go and fill out paperwork." Nagato grimaced. "That's where the problem is."

"In the paperwork?"

"Yeah. You don't officially exist. Also, it would require a credit card number, which I don't have. I said I'd come back when I had the required information, but where am I going to get it?"

"I take it that appearing in person would not qualify as proof that I exist."

"No."

Konan rested her chin on her knuckles. "Is that not the case for most things around here? The vampires do not officially exist. Neither do the bicycles. This building is officially abandoned, yet has working utilities."

"I visited the kiosk, before I found out that I didn't have everything I needed. Supernatural world or not, he still wanted an account to bill for the phone payments. In order to get one of those, you would need ID."

Konan frowned. "I must negotiate with Kakuzu to get our money situation under control. We've lost five bricks, and Sasori still has plans for something that will require funding."

"I'm not too sure about my money situation either," Nagato admitted. "Which is why I didn't just link it to my debit account."

"You have a regular job."

"At a place that itself has irregular funds, and I voluntarily accept the lowest pay I can live on for the dogs' sake."

Konan paused on the edge of saying something. Nagato watched her retreat from that edge, decide not to say anything after all. "What is it?" he asked.

"Others most likely have more stable incomes," she murmured. "But that would be a very imposing thing to ask."

Nagato imagined what would happen if she went around asking for someone to take on a second phone plan for her sake. Of the people who wore a cloak so far, only Yahiko had a decent and stable income. It wasn't that decent, though. She would be better served by Sasori or Kisame, who seemed to have more specialized jobs that probably paid more. But would either of them agree? "I can suggest it. Everyone knows me as one of those two guys that go out all optimistic and try to make the world a happier place. That…" His throat tightened. "That would be tolerated from me." His words ended on a squeak.

Konan studied him more closely. "You wished for privacy."

Nagato nodded.

"A matter related to Yahiko?" she guessed in a soft, feathery whisper.

"Mhm."

Konan closed her eyes and folded her hands in her lap. As still as she sat, she could have been meditating, absorbed into some inner world of hers. Nagato knew she was not. This was only a polite way of waiting.

How do I speak? What can I even say? Nagato was confused by his own distress, upset at his own speechlessness. I've been thinking of this for a while. Leaving Yahiko behind and going off with Hidan or with Konan, accomplishing something completely without him. I know it's not a betrayal. So why do I feel so bad?

"How did Other Me do it?" he asked. "How did any version of me move on, do things, accomplish great things, without Yahiko?"

Konan shook her head. "I cannot know what transpired inside my brother's head." She opened her eyes. "Based on my own experience, I suspect there might have been pretend involved. Imagination. Making believe he was still here somehow, just because his body was. I never brought news directly to Nagato's main body; I brought it to Tendo, the path created from Yahiko's body. Nagato never questioned this. It seemed so natural."

Tears ran down Nagato's face. They always would, anytime his original's sad situation was described. "But...but what do I do...when he isn't here and there's no pretending?"

Nagato looked away before she could meet his eyes. He studied the carpet through his tears. Ow. Once again, he was struck by the ability to say things he hadn't even known he thought. "How do I not always turn to him when I'm on my own, when he's far away? How do I not hold him when I'm upset? How do I not wait for him to finish my ideas? How do I stop all of these reflexes? It's like trying to stop walking the way I do." He sobbed.

A decorous pause was provided for him to get himself under control. Then: "I do not know."

Nagato wiped his eyes, and his brain began to work again. "But you did it. He's not your Yahiko. I'm not your me. But you did things anyway. You brought us here. How?"

Konan frowned. "It was easier than I would have expected."

"It was?"

"Yes. In this world, I am not the person I was with them. I am someone different. In the part of my life that I live now, those reflexes have never existed. There was nothing to lose."

The part of her life that she lives now… The part where she's not in control? The part of her that's not very ninja-like? It's hard to imagine she ever brought Yahiko along when she was feeling like ripping something to shreds. He wouldn't have been there when she felt like flaying a demon and pouring salt in its wounds. Nagato understood. "I don't reflexively run to him when I'm thinking about my dating prospects," he said.

"You do not."

"I expect him not to share any of my ideas about love."

Konan nodded.

"That's a part of my life where I have nothing to remove. There's nothing blocking my way. I can do whatever I want there." The tears returned. He swallowed painfully. "I'd just come back and tell him about it when I was done."

Konan took his hand. "It is not pleasant to confront a part of you that you share with no one else, is it? If that part of you was one you were willing to explore, you would have shared it by now."

Nagato nodded. "It feels like such a betrayal. Surprise, here's this whole new wing of my life that I'm opening up for business, and no, you were never invited. Isn't that cruel? If I never explored it, then it would be true that I share my whole life with him without holding anything back. If I'd been open from the start, then it would also be true. But this makes it like I've been lying to him the whole time."

Konan squeezed his hand. "Not true. If you never opened this area of your life, you would still be lying to him. You would just be lying to yourself, as well. It will always exist, whether you acknowledge it or not. I did nobody any favors by concealing who and what I truly was. That was cowardice."

"So I'm doomed to feel like I'm betraying him no matter what I choose now?"

Konan shrugged. "Perhaps. Or perhaps you will find a way to get over it; I can't know the future. But I do know one thing." She lifted his chin up to look him straight in the eyes. "No matter how bad you think this part of your life is, the consequences of hiding it will always be worse. Don't make the same mistake I made. I insist on this, little brother."

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A/N: *heart*