God, that was hard... I'm so sorry for the wait! Honestly, I just could sit and write for the longest time. Don't ask me why, it's not like I don't know exactly where I'm going. I was just all out of juice I guess. I'm not sure where I'm at right now, so I can't promise anything. I'm sorry. I'll try to get back to it and update faster so I can at least finish the season.

SassyPrincess14, thank you so much for your wonderful reviews, you know how much they mean to me. You gave me the boost I needed to get back at it, even though it still wasn't easy (and certainly not fast...). This one is especially dedicated to you.
Danni2016, I hope you're still out there and will enjoy this too. And all the silent readers as well.

I think we definitely need smut before we wrap this up, although there is some much-needed healing required first.

EPISODE 99 – The Key

When Arley wakes up in the middle of the night, I insist on getting up and taking care of him for once. Though Murphy still doesn't let go. He flings his arm around my shoulder, sitting with us when I feed the baby, or circle my waist from behind me, to watch what I'm doing, with his chin in the crook of my neck while I change the diaper. He makes stupid jokes about my son's tiny frog legs, or the little gurgles that are not always as cute as ye'd expect from an adorable child. And he makes me laugh.

One by one, he starts to unravel the harrowing knots in my stomach.

When I'm ready to go back to bed, he hops back in and opens the blanket so I can snuggle in with him. I feel his breath in my hair slowing down as he falls asleep, his arms still keeping me close. The shape of his lean and strong body against me. His twitchy feet caressing and warming mine. The slow circles of his thumb on my cheek, falling still when he succumbs to slumber. The mumbles of his fitful dreams. And everything that makes Murphy who he is.

I'm finally beginning to feel like this is real.

The next day, I wake up with him still spooning me tightly.

Although I'm not fully rested yet, Arley is letting us know he's done for the night.

"Ye want me to go see what he needs, lass?" I hear Murphy's husky half-asleep whisper in my ear.

"Please do…" I breathe back, already spoiled.

After I feel him finally disentangle himself from me to go and fetch the baby, I close my eyes back and drift off again for a while.

When the sun ends up warming my face, I hear the sweet melodic sound of my daughter's laugh outside. I find it in me to stand, dress up a little and wobble to the door. I've regained some strength in the last weeks, though everything is still a strain.

When I arrive on the porch, Murphy is showing off the kid to a woman I've never seen before. Her face is so pretty I'm instantly a little jealous, which isn't a sentiment I'm used to feeling. Her dark skin, hair and eyes are all the opposite of mine. She's smiling at Murphy as if they knew each other so well it makes me curious.

"Hi…" I manage to mumble as if I was the one out of place.

"Hey Ma!" Sive is bouncing up and down, excited to see me up, but there's a second where I almost feel like Murphy is nervous. That suffices to explain the eerie feeling I got.

"Hey Tine. Em, this is Cyndie. She comes from another village near the sea. They helped us with the attack and all."

I'm not sure if I'm jumping to conclusions, but something immediately clicks in my mind. Instantly, I'm convinced this is the girl he's told me about. The one he's met a long time ago, when he had tried to cross the ocean and he'd come to think we would never find each other again.

I can't help frowning, even though I would have liked not to care. Although she walks up to me shyly, extending a hand nevertheless, and I realise she's way more uncomfortable than myself.

"Nice to meet you, Tine. I've heard so much about you!"

"Aideen." I can't help correcting. Which puts her in an even worse position and makes me almost regret it. But only Connor and Murphy use that nickname.

"Right. Sorry. Murphy always calls you that. Um… Congratulations on the baby, he's adorable."

"Thank ye. Sorry, I didn't mean to snap at ye. I guess I'm still not at my best."

"Are you kidding? You look so good, considering all that's happened…" She trails, still walking on eggshells.

Murphy is chewing on his own lips, not knowing what to do with himself, and I know I'm right about who she is.

"Are ye from the village Murphy had washed up to, four or five years ago, by any chance?"

"She is," he admits. And when our eyes meet, he's as good as confessing. He slept with her then.

"Hum, yeah. I met him a while back. He had tried to sail across to join you…" she answers.

"Then I should thank ye for saving his life and taking care of him then," I conclude.

Murphy shines a bashful smile at me. While the poor girl doesn't know what to do with herself. However, before she could slip away, I turn to peer at Arley and decidedly ask:

"Ye want me to take him?"

"Nah, Sive told me she'll show me how to change a diaper. I need to learn." It's almost like he doesn't want to give him back, for fear of not being able to hold him for too long afterwards.

"Alright, I'll leave ye guys to it." I turn to Cyndie and smile also, signalling that I don't mind her staying if she wants to. "Where's Connor by the way?"

"He's still sleeping!" Sive exclaims. Though I have trouble believing that. Connor's always up with the sun.

"That eejit can't sleep alone. He's dragged a mattress in our daughter's room and is sleeping on the floor," Murphy explains.

That disconcerts me enough that I know I need to check on him. I haven't nearly spent enough time with Connor since I came back. We haven't even had a moment just the two of us.

"Okay…" I only say before getting back in the house.

The only problem is, our daughter's room is on the second floor. And, right now, the short flight of stairs looks like a huge mountain to me.

Yet, what Murphy's told me is unnerving enough that I decide to attempt the climb. Good thing no one is there to watch me struggle my way up or they would have stopped me.

I make it to the top in worse shape than I would have thought possible. I can't believe it's that bad. I need to catch my breath before going in the bedroom or, for sure, I'll get an earful from Connor.

When I finally enter, he's sitting on the floor mattress, awake – as I had surmised – but lost in his thoughts.

"Hey love," I softly whisper not to startle him. Still, his head whips up, surprised to see me here. And he looks pale. "How ye feeling?" I ask.

"Hey lass! What ye doing up here?" He frowns and realises that I must have climbed up the stairs by myself. So, he springs on his feet to join me. "Are ye crazy? Ye can't do that, ye could have tumbled down the steps!"

"I'm alright! Don't start babying me Connor."

Still, I let him lead me to sit on Sive's bed. And he steps away to drop back on his mattress, facing me. The fact that he's not staying close is telling enough.

"What's the matter Connor?" He's going to resist, but I won't let him withdraw away from me now. We need to find our way back to each other, just like I feel I accidentally did with Murphy last night.

"Nothing, love. Did ye come all the way up here cause ye needed something?"

"No, I came here to talk to ye. I just… I wanted to apologise. For everything."

"Ye don't need to-"

"Aye, I need to."

His jaw tightens so hard I can see his muscles strain. His bright blue eyes flutter away from me.

"We're the ones who left ye, Tin'. If Murphy and I hadn't thought we could take on Negan's entire army by ourselves, we would have been there to prevent-"

"Ye couldn't have known! C'mere Connor, ye left to fight, and ye asked me to do only one thing! One thing and I couldn't even do that for ye while ye two risked yer lives…"

"Tine…"

"The only thing I had to do was to remain hidden. Remain safe. And take care of Sive. But no! I'm the one that put myself in danger, and once again, ye were the ones that had to rescue me…"

"Jesus, Tine, it wasn't yer fault!"

"It's never my fault, and yet… It keeps happening."

"How can ye say that? We abandoned ye! Once again, we left ye behind while we went on a crazy goose chase, and ye had to fend for yerself on yer own!"

My mouth falls agape as his voice breaks and I realise he's crying. Connor never cries. He gets scared or angry, he shows me his vulnerable side, but – except for that one time, when Murphy was gone and I had to tell him about Aíne – he doesn't break. Except he is, right now, crumbling before my very eyes. He turns away from me so I don't see it, though he can't fool me.

"I failed ye Tin'… The day ye got taken, we were there. We could have stopped it. But we didn't have the time to get in place. The bastard had already killed Abraham; we couldn't let him take a swing at Glenn then! But, because we acted too soon, we weren't able to find ye in time…"

"Connor, ye made the right choice… Ye had to intervene."

I painfully get up to come and lower myself on the mattress by his side. He shudders when my hand tenderly rubs his back. The sobs make him tremble and it breaks my heart.

"I don't know any more… At the time I thought we would get ye back in no time… I thought-… But then… each day ye spent there… each fucking second ye stayed in that place… I failed ye."

"Come on, I know ye tried. I know ye didn't forget about me and left me there on purpose! I knew ye'd come…" But, as I say it, I realise it doesn't ring quite true. If I had been so sure, I wouldn't have lied to Negan about the baby. I wouldn't have done the unthinkable to assure a life for me there. Would I?

"Shit, we even sent Liam to ye, did ye know that?" Connor keeps going. He jumps on his feet as if my presence was too much to bear, to go and pace around the room. "Yer worthless excuse for a brother, but he must have found a way to run…"

"He didn't." My saint turns wide questioning eyes to me, so I clarify: "Negan killed him." That's all he needs to know.

"Jesus, I'm sorry…" And with that, he's back by my side. His arm goes to wrap around me on reflex, though, at the last moment, he hesitates and let it hover above my shoulders.

"Don't be. Ye tried everything, I get that. If anything, I'm the one that gave up. I gave up trying to escape because I was too scared. I gave up hope. Ye never did."

"It's not like it helped ye…"

His hovering arm falls and his shoulders slump. Now, suddenly, I can't take it any more. I'm tired of this self-pity and my voice rises before I can do anything to stop it:

"Will ye quit it?" My harsh tone makes his head shoot back up to meet my eyes. "It's not yer fucking job to rescue me, Connor! Yet ye have! If ye had failed, I wouldn't be here now, would I? This is ridiculous! We're whining now? Now that we've got everything we've wanted? Look at us! We're doing just fine! We're going to be fine, love."

He stares and blinks a few times before I spy a grin stirring on his lips. He raises an eyebrow and pouts at my angry rant.

"Promise?" His tone is teasing.

I stick my tongue out at him and smile back, mischievous, especially when I catch his glimpse toward my mouth.

Then, I burst out laughing as his hand brushes my jaw so that his kiss lands on my cheek.