Author's Note: Lots of Roman and not much else in this chapter, so I hope you guys like Roman!
"Okay, we're nearly there. Now can I walk on my own?"
Exasperated by her brother's complaining, Jane resisted the urge to elbow him in his wounded abdomen. "We are nearly there, so you can put up with using me as a crutch for a couple more minutes."
Roman muttered something under his breath, while Kurt snickered behind them. "I'm starting to see the family resemblance."
Jane frowned at him over her shoulder, as the elevator slowed to a stop on their floor. "If I'd been shot in the abdomen and almost died, I'd accept a little help."
Her brother was white-faced with pain as they began to leave the elevator car, but still managed to retort, "The only reason you accepted help from me, that night you showed up shot, was because you passed out in my arms, then woke up with the transfusion already underway."
"Sounds about right," Kurt said.
"Oh, you guys are ganging up on me, now?" Despite her annoyance, Jane couldn't help but smile. Kurt and Roman seemed to be getting along fine…so far.
Kurt moved past them to unlock the apartment door. "There. You go get Roman settled, Jane. I'll put on some coffee."
"None for Roman," Jane said automatically. "Not this soon after surgery."
Roman groaned. "You gonna give me a sippy cup full of milk instead?"
"If you don't stop bitching, I'm gonna go out tomorrow and buy one," Jane threatened.
As they crossed the living room, Roman threw back in Kurt's direction, "Your sister as bad as mine?"
Kurt snorted. "Sarah's a physical therapist. She's way worse than Jane."
Ha. Maybe it was a little childish, but Jane would take the victory. She kept her gloating internal, however. "Come on. It's the door on the left."
Roman transferred his weight to the wall just inside the guest bedroom, as Jane moved to turn on the bedside lamp and turn down the covers. "You need help changing for bed? If it's too weird for me to do it, I bet Kurt wouldn't mind—"
"I'd rather tear all my stitches open and have to go back to the hospital," Roman said flatly, sitting on the edge of the bed.
Jane scowled at him. "What is wrong with you? It's not just the pain, is it?"
He shook his head. "Remi would have understood."
A little hurt, Jane folded her arms over her stomach. "Yeah, well, Remi's gone, so I'm gonna need some help."
"I don't show weakness in front of people who aren't family. Not if I can help it." His cold stare dared her to argue with him.
Jane exhaled slowly, processing how vulnerable and on guard he must be feeling. All of her irritation drained away, and she sat beside him. "This isn't the orphanage, Roman. Or the compound."
"No, it's not. It's worse, because I can't fight, and I don't know the rules." His posture was defensive, and he wouldn't meet her eyes.
Oh, Roman.
"There are no rules, except don't over-exert yourself. And don't raid Kurt's chocolate stash," she added, with a touch of humour, before becoming serious again. "Kurt doesn't play mind games. There are no hidden tests here. No surprise attacks."
Roman sighed. "Yeah, well… I'm not you. He might be different with me."
"He won't be. But if he is, I'll take your side." That was how confident she was that Kurt wouldn't be emulating Shepherd behind Jane's back. Kurt and Shepherd were less alike than any two people Jane could think of. And I love that about him.
Her brother looked sceptical, but said nothing.
It almost killed her to ask, but she cared too much about Roman to let it go. "Would you be happier if we went to the safehouse? I mean…would you feel safer if it was just you and me there?"
He stared at her for a long moment, as though he hadn't expected her to offer. "Maybe. But you need to be here."
"Not if it means you can't relax." I'm sorry, Kurt.
Roman hesitated, then shook his head. "Ask me again tomorrow."
Relieved that he'd at least give it a chance here tonight, she pulled their coin from her pocket, where she'd been keeping it safe. "Here. Now that it won't get lost…you should have this back."
Roman took it from her, running his fingers over the surface the way he always did. "Thanks."
Jane hoped the coin settled at least a little of the anxiety within him. It didn't have as much of an effect on her, since her memories were so fragmented, but she got the sense her brother viewed the coin almost as a comfort object. When he held it, he seemed almost imperceptibly calmer—not that anyone would notice besides Jane.
She stood up, indicating the sweatpants and T-shirt Kurt had left on the end of the bed. "Get changed. Call out if you need help—I mean it. I'll bring your meds and something to eat in a little while."
He nodded, reaching for the clothing. "I'll be here," he said, his tone holding a hint of irony.
Her heart aching at her brother's turmoil, Jane closed the bedroom door behind her and followed the warm scent of coffee back to the kitchen.
"Hey." Kurt indicated the mug on the breakfast bar. "That's for you."
"Thanks." She sat down on the nearest stool, pulling the coffee toward her.
"How's he doing?"
Jane shrugged. "Defensive. In pain. He says he doesn't know the rules here."
Kurt winced. "Shepherd really did a number on him, huh?"
"Shepherd. The orphanage. Remi." She shook her head. "I told him we can go to the safehouse, if he'd be more comfortable there, but he says he'll try to adjust to being here first."
The idea of spending time apart from her obviously troubled Kurt, but he only nodded. "Just let me know if there's anything I can do."
Jane hesitated, wondering if Roman would attack Kurt out of instinct, if he was startled. "Just…don't sneak up on him, okay? He's jumpy."
"Got it."
Kurt leaned on the breakfast bar next to her, brushing a kiss over her forehead. Jane rested her shoulder against his side, comforted.
"Thank you for putting up with my grumpy brother," she said, smiling a little.
"Hey, so far he's only been grumpy towards you. I can deal with a little sibling bickering. God knows Sarah and I have done our share of that." He glanced backward into the kitchen. "You hungry yet? I'm thinking I'm gonna do a quick grocery store run, so if Roman has any preferences…"
"The doctors said soft food at first, so stew or pasta, maybe?" Jane suggested. "He's getting changed, so I don't wanna disturb him, but he's not a picky eater. At the compound, there wasn't anything he left aside."
"Noted." He smiled down at her. "How about you?"
Something tugged at the back of her memory. A dream—a nightmare—from before she and Kurt had truly been together, not long after she'd made contact with Shepherd and Roman. Compared to some of the night terrors she'd suffered, this one had almost been pleasant, so it had slipped her mind, but the similarity in their current circumstances had jogged her memory.
She'd dreamed that she and Kurt were a happy couple, that Roman had come to dinner with them, and that Kurt had made cheesecake covered in some kind of fruity syrup. He'd offered her a taste of the sticky, red substance, and she'd kissed him instead, tasting it from his lips.
Then, during dinner, Remi had barged into the apartment, trashed everything during the ensuing fight, then stabbed Jane in the chest with a knife. But she was doing her best to forget that part.
This doesn't belong to you. You can't have it.
She pulled herself out of the dark memory, shaking her head. "I was gonna say cheesecake, but…I've changed my mind."
He raised an eyebrow, curious. "You sure?"
"Yeah." She thought again, landing on a dessert she knew Kurt would appreciate. "How about chocolate mousse?"
He grinned. "Somehow, I think I can live with that."
After a quick peck on the lips, he grabbed his keys from the counter. Jane took a sip of her coffee, attempting to banish the last vestige of unease from the recollection of her nightmare. "Any food I can start preparing while you're gone?"
Kurt shook his head. "Just take care of Roman. And yourself."
She smiled. "I love you."
"Love you, too." He kissed her again, lingering for a few moments this time. "You sure you're okay?"
"I'm good. I promise." It wasn't a lie, not really. Compared to how she was after one of her nightmares, she was doing fine.
After Kurt left, Jane spent a couple of minutes gazing into her coffee, frowning a little. What was she afraid of? Did she think that if they ate cheesecake, Remi would somehow break in and wreck everything? That was just ridiculous.
"One more thing to tell the new therapist," she murmured wryly to herself, and got up to check on Roman.
The next couple of days passed almost uneventfully. Though there was a never-ending mountain of paperwork to tackle in the wake of a major, classified investigation, Kurt felt as though a giant load had been lifted from his shoulders. Not only did he have Jane back with him, but he no longer lay awake until the early hours, worrying about why his being Mayfair's replacement was such an integral part of Shepherd's plan. It was a huge relief to know he wasn't at risk of inadvertently doing something to help Sandstorm.
Roman hadn't insisted on moving to the safehouse, and though he never seemed completely comfortable under Kurt's roof, he was trying his best. Kurt was still unsure how much he trusted Roman—Jane had seen him kill people as casually as breathing, after all. But unless the polygraph indicated otherwise, he was willing to trust Jane's judgement, though that didn't mean he was letting his guard down.
Jane had had a session with the new therapist, and come home with medication that would help her PTSD symptoms. She confessed that a year ago, she'd have been determined to struggle through without any pills, but that now she'd try anything that might help. Kurt was privately relieved she was accepting the support, pharmaceutical and otherwise. After what she'd been through, she needed every tool at her disposal to fight off the effects of the trauma.
The first night Jane took a sleeping pill, she didn't expect it to kick in as fast as it did, and fell asleep on his shoulder before she could move off the couch. Laughing softly, he scooped her up and carried her to bed, covering her with the blankets and giving her forehead a gentle kiss. She didn't stir, which was a good sign.
Not long after Kurt returned to the living room to catch up on the baseball highlights, Roman came through to the kitchen, still moving gingerly. He was spending most of his time in bed, though it was hard to say how much of that was because he needed the rest, and how much because he was avoiding Kurt.
Roman glanced over at the couch, and seemed surprised to find Kurt there alone.
"Hey. Jane gone to bed already?" He filled his empty water glass from the faucet.
"Yeah. She took one of the new pills, and it knocked her out."
Roman nodded. "Hope she stays that way."
"Yeah." After a second of deliberation, Kurt indicated the TV. "You a baseball fan? I'm just catching up, if you wanna join me."
"It's not something I follow a lot, but I've watched a few games, here and there." Roman came to sit within view of the TV, though he clearly wasn't comfortable sitting on the couch with Kurt.
They talked sports for a few minutes, until the ads interrupted the highlights. Then Kurt looked over at Jane's brother, cocking his head. "Think you can handle that polygraph on Monday?"
Roman nodded, seeming a little nervous. "As long as they don't ask me to do jumping jacks at the same time, I think I'll be okay."
"As long as you're not planning anything, you'll be fine."
"I'm not." Roman frowned at the TV. "You guys arrested or killed enough of Shepherd's people that there's no Aurora left, even if I did want to carry on her crusade—which I don't. I'm not saying I didn't buy into Shepherd's ideology on a general level, but she went way too far. And I was really only in it for my family. Without Remi and Shepherd, I don't have anything."
"You have Jane. And as long as you're on the right side of the law, you have me."
"I know. You guys are a package deal these days." His smile was a little bitter, but Kurt thought he glimpsed longing there, too. For family? That would make sense, given what he knew of the man.
"Did Jane mention I asked her to marry me, the night before she left for the compound?"
Roman's eyebrows lifted a little. "No. You're engaged already?"
Kurt shook his head. "She turned me down. Said she didn't want to come back a different person, and for me to feel honour-bound to go through with a wedding, even though I didn't want to."
Roman rolled his eyes. "That's…a very Jane thing to say."
Kurt grinned. "Yeah. It is."
For a moment, they were quiet. Then Roman asked, "You gonna try again, now she's back?"
Kurt met his potential brother-in-law's eyes, hoping he wasn't about to destroy their fragile almost-friendship. "That's the plan. I didn't mention it to ask for your blessing, because it's between me and her, no matter what you think about it. But I figured I should give you a heads up."
There was another moment of awkward silence, as Roman stared at the TV. It was impossible to tell what he was thinking.
After a minute or so, he asked, "When?"
Good question. Wish I could decide. "I want to wait until she knows what's gonna happen with you first, and with Shepherd. She won't be able to look forward until she's settled that."
Roman nodded, and Kurt thought he glimpsed a little humour in the scarred man's expression. "If she doesn't say yes, it won't be because she's not crazy about you."
He didn't want to think about being turned down a second time—even though he was pretty sure she'd accept. "You ever been in love?"
Roman's expression turned bitter. "Honestly? Shepherd never loosened her grip for long enough to let me think about that stuff. There was a girl. Came from a motorcycle gang family, and not the kind of gang you'd approve of. She wanted out, wanted to move far away and start over. Wanted me to go with her. But she badmouthed Remi, and I cut her out of my life. You'd think someone who grew up in a family like that would understand loyalty, but…" He shrugged.
Kurt took a second to process the information, surprised at how much Roman had opened up. He'd expected to be brushed off, but now he knew something he wasn't even sure Jane knew. Maybe Roman really was trying to connect with him, if only for Jane's sake.
"Different families have different dynamics," he said cautiously. "My sister and nephew—if anyone messes with them, they're gonna deal with me, no question about it. But my parents? They lost any right to loyalty from me, long ago."
"Yeah." Roman hesitated, then said, "Turns out that when I had to choose between my mother and my sister, even though my sister was barely herself anymore…"
"Jane said that you told her Remi would have chosen to stop Shepherd. If she'd known about the nukes."
"She would. But she wouldn't have done it the same way Jane did." He shook his head and stood up. "Doesn't matter now, anyway."
"Taking your family out of the equation," Kurt said, unwilling to let the subject drop just yet, "you chose between helping to end millions of innocent lives, or saving them all. You can't tell me that's a decision you made based just on what Remi would have wanted—Remi or Jane. You have your own sense of right and wrong. Knowing your own conscience is just as important as family loyalty. More, even."
Roman snorted. "If you knew how many people I've killed, Weller, you wouldn't say that."
The thought had crossed my mind. He kept it to himself, shrugging. "Everyone gets to choose who they're gonna be, every day of their lives. Just because you were set on a certain path doesn't mean you have to follow it. Jane's proof of that."
"Sometimes I wish someone had given me a dose of ZIP," Roman muttered.
"Maybe it would have been simpler that way," Kurt said. "Then again, if you'd seen how lost and confused Jane was, back when she still didn't know who she was, maybe you wouldn't think it was the easy option."
Roman remained still for a second, and Kurt could only see his face in profile. Did I get through to him? Or did I screw everything up?
"Goodnight, Weller." His hand pressed to his abdomen, Roman took off towards the bedroom.
"Yeah. Night."