Hiccup returns! I debated a lot about how to do this entry, brcause of the very conflicting ideas it needed to contain. Obviously, Hiccup would be most excited to talk about the dragons, but then how do I bring up him losing his leg? Or if I started with that, I didn't want to be like "but its okay cause DRAGONS". Thus, all the deliberation to try and balance those emotions. Hopefully you all enjoy haha
Entry 89
I… can't even fathom that my life could have become something like this. In the blink of an eye, I've gotten… everything I ever wanted. My village is bright, the people like me for who I am, my generation is making attempts to be friendly, Astrid seems to like me, and my dad… my dad is proud of me. I almost couldn't believe it when he said that, first during the battle, and hundreds of times since. And to top it all off… I still have my best friend by my side.
If someone had told me that my life would look like this by age fifteen, I would have thought they'd gone mad. Yet somehow… it's reality.
Of course, not EVERYTHING is perfect. I suppose I have to have some consistency in my life, even when it takes such a drastic turn to the better. And that misfortune I grew so accustomed to happened to manifest itself in waking up five pounds lighter- and not just because I hadn't eaten any real food in months. No, the gods would never let me come out of a life changing event unscathed… which is how I've ended up missing most of my lower left leg. But despite how I'm still not sure how to feel about it all (I think that's going to take some time to figure out), I somehow know one thing to be true: I'm happier now than I have been in years.
It was one thing to wake up and see Toothless in my house, but to see dragons EVERYWHERE, living with people… I was pretty sure I was dead. It's surreal, how much things have changed. And I can't wait to get to live in it.
Isn't that a strange thought? I never thought I'd look forward to getting up every day, because for the past few years, it's all been a blur. It felt like living the same routine over and over again, as if I was stuck in some cruel loop. But now, I WANT to be here. I want to go outside and see the village. I finally feel like… like I'm LIVING again. I didn't even know I'd lost that feeling, until now. But I guess since I was about eleven, there hasn't been much in life I've looked forward to. And to think, I thought I'd lost it all the day Toothless and I took down that Queen. No, in truth, that was just the beginning…
I'm laying down now, trying to get my thoughts in order. I guess going for a crazy flight right after waking up wasn't the best idea I've ever had, but I was too into the moment to think about any consequences at the time… I probably shouldn't try anything like that again for a while. Based on the weather, it's been months since the last thing I remember (which is the tail of a monster dragon coming straight for me). Perhaps I should take things a little slower… never before have I had that option, it seemed. I've always been on the move, trying to do everything I can to make something of myself. But for once… I think I have a moment where I can just slow down and try to work things out on my own time. I still want to just get out and do EVERYTHING, but… I don't have to.
Earlier, after that flight with Toothless, I asked my dad again if this is all real. He assured me it is, and it's here to stay, forever. He told me to take my time, because it'll all still be here tomorrow. But even now, as these words echo in my mind, I still can't quite comprehend them. This is going to take some time to get used to, that's for sure.
But… I'm more than willing to try.
Until next time…
-H