Mama, take this badge from me
I can't use it anymore
It's getting dark, too dark to see
Feels like I'm knockin' on heaven's door
~Knockin on Heavens Door by Guns N Roses
A/n: I only own Ellie, Grant, Beckie and Kasie, and Sarah; all other characters that you recognize are property of Marvel.
a/2: So I wrote the flash-forward in a previous chapter that is now revisited, of course way before Covid. I want to keep true to that original scene while keeping it true to current times. I hope I did it justice. Enjoy.
Thank you to the new followers: X Code Red X, neice1176, Tillingen, and aandm20
*~*~* October 31, 2020- New York *~*~*
Ellie groaned as another song came that was heavy on the bass, and the lights reflected the beats by strobing. By the end of the night, she would have a significant headache if she didn't get out of here soon. She was only contracted for another 30 minutes unless someone asked her to stay. The theme of the night was a reverse masquerade. The limited club capacity to the models, distinguished guests, and groups of 25 partygoers, all that had colored wristbands on. Which matched the lights on the ceiling, and when they changed to a different color, the next group could arrive. Everyone was wearing face masks, and their eyes were uncovered. Her job given to her by the de la Renta people was to stand and look pretty unless someone asked her to dance with them. First, they had to go through the de la Renta people to show their recent test results.
According to her therapist, twirling her wedding ring had become her new tick when she was uncomfortable, and she sighed when she found herself doing it again as another loud thumping song came on.
"Ms. Barnes."
Marchesa, the coordinator in charge of organizing the dancing partners, a voice broke through the thumping, and she put on her fake face as she turned to see her newest dance partner.
"Sebastian," Ellie said, holding back her smile beneath her mask.
"For the grand finale of the night, only 15 minutes left, we are pairing up everyone. Mr. Stan volunteered to be your partner," Marchesa told her.
Ellie looked at Sebastian, who she swore was blushing up to the top of his ears, "Did he now?"
"Well, get out there," Marchesa told her as Ellie saw the other models head out with other male partners as the song changed to thankfully a song not heavy on the bass. Sebastian held out his hand and led her to a less congested area of the party.
Who's that sexy thing I see over there?
That's me, standin' in the mirror
What's that icy thing hanging 'round my neck?
Um, that's gold, show me some respect, oh
I thank God every day (uh, ha)
That I woke up feelin' this way (uh, ha)
And I can't help loving myself
And I don't need nobody else, no, uh
Ellie looked up at him, "Sorry, I have no clue how to dance to this music!" She yelled.
He laughed, "Neither does anyone else!"
Ellie laughed as she looked around and started moving like the other people in their socially distanced circles, "What a world we are living in!"
My life's a movie, Tom Cruise
So bless me, baby, achoo
And even if they tried to
They can't do it like I do
I thank God every day (uh, ha)
That I woke up feelin' this way (uh, ha)
And I can't help lovin' myself (wooh!)
And I don't need nobody else, no, uh (baby)
If I was you, I'd wanna be me too
I'd wanna be me too
I'd wanna be me too (oh, ayy)
If I was you, I'd wanna be me too
I'd wanna be me too
I'd wanna be me too
Ow!
The people around her started jumping, and she started jumping slightly as she moved her head to the beat.
"There you go!" Sebastian yelled.
Ellie took a breath and just let herself go feeling the music as she followed along with dancing.
I thank God every day (say to thank God)
That I woke up feelin' this way (uh, ha)
And I can't help loving myself (ow!)
And I don't need nobody else, no, uh, baby
If I was you, I'd wanna be me too
I'd wanna be me too
I'd wanna be me too (oh)
Ellie nearly tripped, and Sebastian caught her by the waist, and she threw her head back laughing as the energy of the room and electricity washed over her as she let everything in.
Stumbling out of the restaurant where the Halloween party had been held, Ellie laughed as she looked back at Sebastian, "Okay, I will admit, the end was a lot more fun than the rest of the evening."
Sebastian looked at her as he pulled her away from a group of people coming out, "I don't know about you, but I don't want the night to end. What are your plans for the rest of the night?"
"Food, sleep. I'm not going back home tonight because I am helping my boss with something tomorrow to have a hotel to stay near the Empire State Building. I was going to get food and take it back to my hotel room," Ellie told him, taking in his eyes in the lights of the building. They were a darker blue than Bucky's. More of a steel blue than sky blue.
"Would you like Italian? I know a guy," Sebastian told her, "I can get us a good table without reservations."
"I'd love some pizza," Ellie admitted.
"Then come on," Sebastian said as he held out his hand.
Ellie bit her lip under her mask then took his hand, which was much softer than Bucky's ever was, "Where is it?"
"Little Italy. Would you rather get a cab or take the Subway?" Sebastian asked.
Ellie looked down at her expensive Oscar de la Renta dress that they would be coming to pick up from her hotel room in the morning, "Cab, I don't want to take too many chances with this dress."
*~*~* October 31, 2020- late Evening- New York *~*~*
As they pulled to a stop, Ellie felt the sudden gravity of the day on her shoulders. Swallowing hard, Sebastian got out of the cab, walked around to open the door for her. She took his hand and climbed out of the cab.
"Well, ma'am, here is your stop," Sebastian said as he walked her to the door of the hotel.
"Well, thank you, sir," Ellie said with a smile.
Sebastian put his hands in his pockets, "I want to thank you. For the videos, you showed me tonight. It helped me understand what kind of person that Bucky was."
"Well, I am glad I could help, my husband is," Ellie sucked in a breath, "Was a great man."
Sebastian took her hand and kissed the back of it, "Until next time, Miss Ellie."
Ellie's heart constricted in her body as she watched him turn around then get back into the cab. With a small wave, he drove off, "It's Mrs. Barnes," Ellie said sadly.
Walking inside the hotel, she rode the elevator up to her floor and waved the key to enter. After closing and making sure it locked behind her, she kicked her shoes off her feet. Walking over to the bed, she threw her body back onto it.
Swallowing hard, Ellie regretted going out tonight with Sebastian as the tears came. Sitting up, she reached behind her and used her powers to unzip the dress as she pulled it from her body. Hanging it on a hanger as she wiped the tears away, then she climbed into the bed.
Pulling the pillow to her, she hugged it to her body as she thought back to a night when they had first visited Jamie's house. Suddenly she was in his arms again, and she held back her sobs as she snuggled into his chest. Placing her hand on his chest, she felt his heartbeat under her hand and started drawing letters on his chest. was how far she was when she heard his voice.
"You awake?" Bucky asked quietly.
Ellie opened her eyes and looked up at him, "I thought you were asleep."
"No, hey baby… when are you visiting from?" Bucky asked as he laced his fingers in hers.
"It's October of 2020," Ellie told him with a sigh, "I'm in New York City right now. I just left an event, and it's late at night so, I told Steve that I was going to get a room here."
"A modeling thing?" Bucky asked, pulling her closer.
"Actually, yeah, for Oscar," Ellie said as she gnawed on her lip as the guilt ate at her.
"What's going on in that head?" Bucky asked her as he pushed a piece of hair behind her ear.
The anxiety in her stomach nearly made her sick as she admitted, "I went on a date."
Bucky looked at her, "A date?"
Ellie's heart broke at the look on his face as she rolled on her back, "Well, not a date per say, but I felt like I was betraying you the entire time."
"Ellie honey, come here," Bucky said as he pulled her into his arms, "I don't expect you to stop your life because I am gone."
"I feel like I should, though. It's not right," Ellie told him as she couldn't hold back her tears any longer, "Especially who it was."
"Who?" Bucky asked as he rubbed her back, "It doesn't matter who it was as long as you are happy."
Ellie bit her lip as she buried her face in his chest, "Sebastian Stan."
"The actor?" Bucky asked as she heard the surprise in his voice.
"I met him a few weeks ago at a fashion show. He does work for another company," Ellie told him, "Someone knew the similarities and introduced us. It, it was hard. I saw a face so similar to yours on someone else. I just," Ellie paused, "I had a hard time. So um, " She took a breath, "They want to do a movie about Steve and the Howling Commandoes, and the director asked him to be you ironically. After I left, he reached out to me wanting to speak about you, so we had coffee at Starbucks and," She took a pause, "I actually had fun telling old stories about you, talking his ear off. Well, now I'm here for this ball thing, wearing something for Oscar, and he is here. Here I am in this expensive Oscar de la Renta dress. He was in this expensive Hugo Boss tuxedo, and we ended up in this pizza shop in Little Italy," Ellie admitted, "Having so much fun then he helped me to my hotel, and the moment he drove away… I felt horrible."
"It's okay to go out on a date with him. I want you to be happy," Bucky told her, rubbing her arm.
"But the whole time I was coming up to my room in the elevator… am I enjoying myself with him because he has your face?" Ellie asked him.
"Is he a nice guy?" Bucky asked softly.
"He is so sweet. He was telling me about himself today, and literally, his friends are all from the movies that he has done. They've all kept in touch and are still close after all these years. He is so interested in making sure that playing you was good enough. He asked me for videos, then I realized all I have, is the videos you made me and the videos I took of you and Grant," Ellie told him sadly, "And the Howling videos, but they don't have sound. He doesn't have your Brooklyn twang. I want to make sure he can do it."
Ellie sighed as she ran her hand over her face, "I don't know what to do, Buck." She sat up and pulled her knees to her chest, resting her head on her arms.
"Do you like him… you know… romantically?" Bucky asked, leaning on his arm.
Ellie looked at him, "I'm attracted to him, but all I think about is you," Ellie admitted.
Bucky chuckled, "Ask him to go out with you with a bag over his head."
Ellie looked at him, "Seriously?" Ellie smacked him, causing his arm to fall out from under him as his head hit the bed as he laughed, "Be serious, Buck, for once."
Bucky laid back on his back, "Look, I don't want you to move on obviously, but… I want you to be happy," Bucky told her as he looked over at her, "I… yes, I know that you can come to visit me, but I don't want you to stay stuck in the past by not moving on from my ghost."
Ellie laughed through the tears, "It's not your ghost Bucky. It's the missing piece of me. The gaping hole that since I left you in Wakanda hasn't gone away. It doesn't ever get smaller. It hurts to breathe." Ellie swallowed hard, "The only, the only thing that helps are these visits."
Bucky wiped her tears away and rested his forehead against hers, "I'm so sorry, Angel."
"It's so hard, so hard keeping it together," Ellie sobbed, "I can't keep it together anymore. I'm tired, Buck, mentally and physically. But I have to hold it together; I have to be strong until you get back."
"Look at me, Ellie," Bucky told her as he took her face in his hands, and she looked into his beautiful blue eyes.
"Let me go," Bucky told her.
Ellie's heart skipped, "What?" Ellie asked, confused.
"Let me go," Bucky told her as she pulled back from him, "I don't… I don't want you to go through this pain anymore."
Ellie stood up, "Seriously?" She asked as she looked at him as her heart raced.
Bucky sat up on the bed, "I hate you going through all this pain, missing me, and putting your life on hold like you are. I'm giving you permission; let me go, move on."
Ellie just stared at him as she let the tears stream down her face, "I can't believe you right now," Ellie said as she felt betrayed, "I thought I meant more to you. I guess you meant more to me than I meant to you."
Ellie left the bedroom before he could say anything to break her heart anymore. Walking into the common room, she laid on the couch and forced her mind back into her present body.
Curling up in the bed, she cried herself to sleep.
*~*~* November 1, 2020- New York *~*~*
Ellie stepped out of the cab at Stark Industries and pushed the sunglasses up on her face as she walked up to the employee entrance. Scanning her card, she opened the door walking inside.
"Excuse me, can I see your ID?"
Ellie turned towards the voice, "Julie, it's me."
"Oh, Mrs. Barnes, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were coming in today. Ms. Potts is upstairs," Julie told her.
"Thank you," Ellie said as she went to the elevator and scanned her card to go to Pepper's floor.
Resting her head back against the glass as the elevator rose, she sighed as she rubbed her chest.
"Miss Ellie, your vitals are not close to normal. Should I contact Dr. Banner?" FRIDAY asked.
"No, FRIDAY, I'm fine," Ellie said as her voice broke.
The elevator doors opened, and Happy was on the other side. Frowning, he took in her messy bun, sunglasses, and an old sweatshirt, "You look like shit."
"Thanks, Happy," Ellie said as she walked past him and threw her bags down by the elevator as she sniffed, "Where is Pepper?"
"In her office," Happy told her as she walked past him, and he grabbed her arm, "Are you okay?"
Ellie shook her head, "No, I'm not." Walking down the hallway, she came to Pepper's office and opened the door.
"Tony, I have to let you go," Pepper said as she saw her and set her phone down, "Ellie, what's wrong?"
"I don't know what to do anymore," Ellie admitted as she sat down on the couch and put her head in her hands.
Pepper sat down next to her, "What happened?"
Ellie took her sunglasses off and laid her head back against the back of Pepper's couch, "I went out with Sebastian."
"Oh, Ellie," Pepper breathed out as she put her hand on Ellie's knee.
"Nothing happened, but Pepper, I had fun. I thought I'd go visit Bucky, and all I felt was guilty," Ellie admitted shaking her head, "So I told him, and he told me to let," Ellie stopped as the tears came heavily again, "Let him go," Ellie squeaked out.
"Oh, Ellie," Pepper said as she pulled her into a hug.
"I don't want to let him go," Ellie sobbed.
"I know, I know you don't," Pepper said as she rubbed Ellie's back.
Ellie put her face in her hands as she tried to catch her breath, "How do I go on Pepper missing such a large piece of me? People say you should move on, but how can I?"
Pepper took her hand, "Only you can decide when that time comes. No one else."
Ellie sighed, "And if I never choose to move on?"
"Then that is your choice and yours alone," Pepper told her.
Ellie looked at the ring on her finger, "I don't think I will ever be ready."
*~*~* November 19, 2020- Esopus, New York *~*~*
Ellie stood in front of the large projection screen, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, your blood is producing a surprising amount of antibodies," Dr. Kitsch told her.
Ellie paced around the empty room, "What does this mean?"
"It means we can save a lot of people," Dr. Kitsch told her, "We have enough blood here for about two months. I'll let you know when we need more."
Ellie looked at him, "Keep me updated."
"Will do," He told her as he ended the call.
Ellie looked around her desk. After rearranging things to finish out her day, she grabbed the files she needed for tomorrow and the briefcase that Pepper asked her to bring. Grabbing her purse and her coat, she threw her coat over her arm.
"Miss Ellie, I advise you wear your coat outside. The temperature has dropped significantly," FRIDAY informed her.
"Thank you, FRIDAY," Ellie said as she set her things down then put on her coat. Pulling her hair out of her jacket, she grabbed her things then headed towards the door.
Pulling her phone out of her pocket as the doors slid open and as soon as the cold air hit her body, she shivered, "Fuck," Ellie swore as she nearly slipped as she hurried across the parking lot.
"Hey, sis, on your way home?" Steve answered.
"Yes, sorry it's so late. I hope you didn't wait for me for dinner," Ellie said as she hit the fob to unlock the car.
"Kids are fed, bathed, and in bed," Steve told her, "I even have the fireplace in your room going too for you."
"God, Steve, I love you. I knew there was a reason I kept you around," Ellie said as she threw her bag into her passenger seat and turned the car on.
"How's the weather there? It just stopped raining here, and I think it's starting to snow," Steve told her.
"The parking lot is icy, and it is snowing," Ellie told him as she turned her wipers on, and they didn't move, "Fuck, my windshield wipers aren't even moving. I think they froze to the window," Ellie told him as she looked towards the back of the car, "I have to get off and find the scraper. I know I bought one. It should be in the back."
"Be careful El, how about you just stay there for the night?" Steve suggested.
"No, worse weather is supposed to be coming in later tonight. I want to be home tonight," Ellie told him, "I will be home in a couple of hours. I have to make a quick stop, and then I'll be home."
"Call me if you need me. Love you," Steve told her, "Don't screw around. Just take the quickest way home and stay on the highway."
"Trust me, and I'm heading straight home as soon as I drop this off. I have to go scrape. Bye," Ellie said as she hung up.
She opened the door and shivered as the wind blew across her face, "Shit, it's cold."
Walking around to the back of the car, she opened the trunk and grabbed the scraper, "Damn you, Tony. I am parking in the garage from now on. Fuck this shit."
After nearly falling twice more, she finished scraping her windows then climbed back into the car.
Dusting herself off and warming her hands up with the vents, she fastened her seatbelt, then backed out of the parking spot. Driving out of the compound, she was just pulling onto the county road to take her to State Route 9 when her phone rang.
Seeing Steve's name displayed, she answered it, "Steve, what's wrong?"
"Nothing, where are you?" Steve asked.
"I had to scrape my windows. Scraping them in heels on ice took awhile," Ellie said as she stopped at the stoplight to wait to turn onto Rt. 9 and looked over at the restaurant they frequented, "Man, even County Store is closed up for the night."
"It's nearly 7, Ellie. Just don't take nine all the way home," Steve told her.
Ellie stared at the phone, confused, "Worrywart, I won't. I'll get onto I-87 like usual. Why are you worrying so much?" Ellie asked as she turned as soon as the light turned green.
"I just… worry," Steve told her, "Call me if you need me."
"Bye, Steve," Ellie said as she hung up the phone, shaking her head, and turned the radio on.
After driving for 30 minutes listening to one of Shuri's playlists for the 90s, she saw brake lights ahead, "Shit," Ellie thought out loud as she slowed to a stop behind the car in front of her.
Ellie watched as a police officer walked over to each car then guided them in different directions. Ellie rolled her window down and turned the radio off as a police officer walked over to her car.
Shining a flashlight in her car, Ellie squinted at the bright light, "Good evening, ma'am, there are multiple accidents up ahead that is going to take a while to clean up. Where are you heading?" He asked her.
"Down 87 into the city," Ellie told him.
He nodded, then pointed towards the shoulder, "Oh, then take the shoulder here, get off at 84 and turn right to take I-84 East across the Hudson, then take the exit for NY-9D, then go South. If you go down to US-6W, it will take you to the Palisades Interstate," The officer told her.
"Thank you, sir. I know where to go from Palisades. I appreciate your help," Ellie told him with a smile.
"Drive safe, ma'am. It's icy in spots," He told her with a tip of his hat as he moved onto the next car.
Ellie rolled the window back up then looked behind her to pull off the highway onto the shoulder. She drove past the backup to the exit and exited onto 84, then followed the signs to continue onto I-84. Crossing over the river and she moved through the Toll plaza following the signs for NY-9D S.
She was about to tell FRIDAY to call Steve when she received a phone call from Pepper.
"Answer the call FRIDAY. Hey Pepper," Ellie answered.
"Are you still at the compound?" Pepper asked her.
"No, I am dropping some stuff off then heading home. Do you need something?" Ellie asked her, glancing at the briefcase in the passenger seat that she was taking to Pepper's office at Stark Industries in Manhattan.
"I just wanted to know the report on the Children's Fundraiser. Melissa said that you were helping her with it," Pepper told her.
Ellie glanced back, "I'll call you when I get home and give you the numbers. It's on the laptop that I have with me, but it's in the trunk," Ellie told her as she got stopped by a stoplight and the car's Antilock brakes sputtered a little, "Shit, it will be just my luck. I'm going to get every stoplight heading home."
"Stoplights? Where are there stoplights?" Pepper asked, confused.
Ellie sighed, "I had to get off the highway. There was a big accident near the airport. The officer said there are many others down the road, so I headed across the river to take this way. It shouldn't take too much longer. It's just the damn lights until I get back on the main highway that will be a pain. The snow doesn't look like it goes far over the Hudson either," Ellie told her.
"It snowed?" Pepper asked.
"At the compound, it was starting to come down. The parking lot was a skating rink. Tony will have to have someone come in and treat it tomorrow," Ellie told her as she drove through a green light, "Whoo, a green light number one, I might just be in luck."
"Just call me when you get home so we can go over the numbers," Pepper told her as Ellie heard Morgan crying in the background, "I have to go."
"Bye, Pepper," Ellie said as she hung up and started her music again.
It started snowing again as Ellie drove down the road to where NY-9D ended. She noticed a bridge up ahead and slowed down through the snow, making sure she took the correct route. A deer jetted out in front of her; when Ellie hit the brake to avoid it, the car skidded. She tried to correct it, and the tires hit a brick in the middle of the intersection, causing the vehicle to spin.
"Fuck!" Ellie yelled as she tried to correct it and felt the back of the car hit something hard, and with a crunch of metal, she was propelled towards the passenger side as the vehicle shifted towards that side. The car's headlights shined on the wall in front of her, and Ellie braced for impact. As her head flew forward, hitting on the steering wheel, suddenly the lights were shining onto trees below as the car as the force of the car sent the front end over the wall.
Ellie screamed as the tops of the trees grew closer as the car fell between them. A limb went through the windshield on the passenger side, spearing the seat going through to the back seat as the car's front end struck on the ground. She yelled in agony as her legs felt like they were in a vice as the front end folded and the dashboard collapsed onto her legs.
As the car rocked, Ellie blacked out as her head smashed into the steering wheel before the airbag could deploy.
*~*~* November 19, 2020- Esopus, New York *~*~*
Steve frowned as he looked at the clock, "She should have been home. It's been two hours since I've talked to her."
Natasha looked at him from her book, "Quit worrying, she is fine. She is probably just taking it slow because of the weather."
Steve bit his lip as he continued to pace, then looked out the window to the backyard that was rapidly turning white, "There is something I never told you," Steve said as he looked at her, "Bucky said that Ellie was in a bad accident this month. A bad one, Nat."
"Shit, no wonder you've been annoying her by smothering her all month," Natasha said, putting her book down, "Call her again."
Steve called Ellie and frowned as it rang, "She isn't answering."
Natasha grabbed her phone and brought up the traffic app, "Steve, there is a bad accident. It says, shit, there are 4 of them. Three semis and a truck. A white car and a silver one," Natasha said as she scrolled through the map, "None of them say black SUV."
"Damnit, then why isn't she answering?" Steve said, pulling on his hair as he started to pace again.
"FRIDAY," Natasha called, "Can you locate Ellie's phone?"
"I cannot at this time. It doesn't have a signal," FRIDAY answered, "But Miss Potts was the last phone call made by her."
"Call her," Steve said.
"Hey Ellie, what are the numbers?" Pepper asked as she answered, "Can't talk long but-"
"Pepper, it's Steve. When did you last talk to Ellie?" Steve asked.
"Steve? Over an hour ago, almost two, wait, she isn't home yet?" Pepper asked, concerned.
"No, there is an accident-"
"There are accidents on the highway, so she went over into New York instead of heading down 87," Pepper told him.
"Shit," Steve said as all the color left his face as he looked at Natasha, "Did she say where she was?"
"No, just that she was hitting nearly every light," Pepper told him, "Why?"
"Is Tony there?" Steve asked.
"Hold on, Tony! Come here!" Pepper called.
"What is it, Pep?" Tony asked as his voice got closer.
"Ellie isn't answering her phone, and she was taking the back way home. Steve is worried," Pepper told him.
"Steve, do you think this is it?" Tony asked as soon as he came on the line.
"I don't know Tony, but I can't get a hold of her. FRIDAY says that there is no cell signal." Steve told him.
"FRIDAY, where was Ellie's phone last pinged?" Tony asked as the doorbell rang.
Natasha jumped up, "I'll get it."
"Accessing cell phone records," FRIDAY said in the background, "Manitou Point Preserve."
Natasha opened the front door to see Rose and Annabelle, "Guys, this isn't a good time."
"Our power went out a few hours ago, and the temperature is already starting to drop. Can we go upstairs to the room I use? We won't bother you if it's a bad time," Annabelle told her.
"Go ahead," Natasha said as she let them inside.
"Manitou? Why the hell would she go all the way out to Manitou," Steve was saying as Natasha walked back into the living room, "Shit, Tony. Bucky said she went off a bridge."
"Shit, Bear Mountain Bridge. Don't call 911 yet. I'll go scope it out. It's still an hour away from you in this weather. In the suit, I can be there in 30-45 minutes if the weather is bad. 10-20 if it's not," Tony told him, "Keep calling her and if you get a hold of her, let me know."
"Thanks, Tony," Steve told him.
*~*~* November 19, 2020- Mid-State, New York *~*~*
Ellie gasped as air was pushed into her lungs by someone pushing on her chest. She nearly passed out again from the pain as it hit her at once.
"Thank god," Someone said as she groaned, trying not to pass out.
"Oh god, everything hurts," She said as she coughed and feeling as if she were going to pass out again as everything seemed to waver.
"Ellie, stay awake, but don't move anything. Shit, I can't," The voice groaned, "Get you out!" They said in the dark.
"I can't see," Ellie said, panicking as she blinked and saw nothing, "Why can't I see?"
"It's dark, and there is hardly any light here. I'm here," The voice said, taking her hand, "I'm here for you."
"I'm so," Ellie swallowed as waves of dizziness hit her hard, "So tired," She told the man as she cried as she fought with her eyes.
"You have to stay awake. Can you use your powers at all? I need some light," The man said.
"How," Ellie drew in a breath, "How do you know?" Ellie gasped as something shifted, and she felt a blinding pain in her pelvis, "Stop, stop!"
"I won't try anymore," He told her, "I'm stopping!"
Ellie gasped as she tried to move her hand up and could only move her right one from elbow down to put a faint light out that flickered.
The man in the passenger seats' face was suddenly illuminated faintly in the flickering light.
"Oh God, El, shit. It's bad, so much worse than I thought," He said, looking over her body.
Ellie tried to stop the dizziness as the man touched her leg, and she looked at him, taking in his appearance in the dark. He appeared to be around 50 or 60 years old with very few wrinkles but so familiar in appearance, "Why," She gasped, "Why are you… so familiar?"
"I just have that face," He told her as he reached down under the dashboard, and she tried to look down, which made the whole world spin, "Don't move your head. Fuck, you are bleeding badly from your leg."
Ellie suddenly felt extremely cold and started shivering, "It's so cold," Ellie told him as she rested her head back and the light in her hand flickered.
"Stay awake!" He yelled.
"Gees Steve, don't yell," Ellie paused, "Steve?" Ellie asked, confused as she forced her arm up higher and caught his face in the light, "How? You… you are old."
Steve gave her a sad smile, "You aren't the only time-traveling Rogers anymore. Keep your strength. It is me, and I am old. I am from the future. Current me is at the house with Nat and the kids," Steve told her as he touched her face.
"Fuck, Steve," Ellie cried, "I'm going to die, aren't I?"
"No! No, you are not," He told her as he took her face in his hands, "You are going to make it, you are there for my wedding, you are there when they all come back," Steve told her as he saw her pants growing darker and reached down to put pressure to her leg.
"Wait… what?" Ellie started to slur, "Bucky is going to come back? For sure?" Ellie asked as she coughed, and she felt something come into her mouth that tasted metallic.
"Shit, you're internally bleeding. Fuck I thought I had more time," Steve said as he grabbed something next to him, "I have to give you blood. It is the only explanation for how you survive."
Ellie felt foggy and could barely hear him through the roaring in her ears as he said something to her, then she felt something poke her arm.
"Stay with me, sis, come on," Steve said.
Ellie felt some clarity coming back to her senses and slowly moved her head to look over at him, "Tell me," She breathed out, "Tell me about the future."
Steve sighed as he touched her hand with the arm, not giving blood to her, "You aren't going to remember this at all, but Bucky will be home in 2023, right after your birthday. They all return after we discover how to time travel with your help and Scott Lang."
"Scott's alive?" Ellie asked as the light in her hand got more robust, and she could suddenly see the lines in his face.
"He's stuck in something called the Quantum Realm," Steve told her as he ran his hand through her hair and felt how sticky it was from the blood coming from her head, "He gets out and tells us how we can do Time Travel. It works, and we bring everyone back. I have to go back into the past to return some things, and I," Steve sighed, " Well, I decided to be selfish for once. I wanted a life, so I stayed back in the past with Peggy. I lived a whole life with her from 1949 until she died. I've just been waiting since she died until now. I've run into you a few times, but I couldn't let you know it was me."
Ellie coughed and felt as if her ribs were going to crack, "What about Nat?"
"She doesn't make it to the return of everyone El. Since she was gone, I decided just to stay in the past," Steve told her, "It killed me not to change you getting frozen or your instability. Hell, even to save Bucky, but Dr. Strange came into the past and told me that I couldn't. If I stayed, everything had to remain the same."
Ellie shifted and felt something pop. Gasping as it was suddenly harder to breathe, "Steve… it hurts to breathe."
"Just breathe slowly," He told her as he looked out the back window to see the light, "Shit, I see Tony in the distance. He can't know about me. I have to go."
Ellie weakly grasped his hand, "No, Steve… don't… leave," Ellie said as she felt her consciousness fade.
Steve removed the needle from her arm, then kissed her forehead, "Tony is going to be here in less than two minutes. I'm going to be close. He won't see me. I love you."
"Steve… don-" Ellie cried as she lost consciousness.
Pulling himself away from her, Steve climbed out of the car the best he could. He fell, sliding down the embankment into the Hudson below.
"Fuck," He said as the cold water hit his aging legs. He hiked through the water to a lower area where he could climb up to the tracks above. Walking into the tree line, he could still see the bridge as Tony shined a light on the bridge.
"Come on, Tony, find her," Steve said as Tony shined the light from his repulsors down on the trees below, then flew down to her car as he saw it. Sighing in relief, Steve walked deeper into the trees as the adrenaline started to wear off as he shivered as the wet clothing became too much. He collapsed just as he made it to the road, falling unconscious as a car came down the road.
Tony spotted the crumpled SUV, "FRIDAY, alert the authorities of my location. They are going to need an air evac."
"Yes, sir," FRIDAY said.
"Call Steve," Tony told her as he flew to the passenger side of the car and tried to open the door, and the car moved, "Shit… Ellie!"
"Tony, did you find her?" Steve answered.
"Shit Steve, it's bad. So bad," He told Steve as he peered in the car, "God, there is blood everywhere," Tony said as he flew to the driver's door, and it would not open at all, "FRIDAY give me some of the Iron Legion now!"
"Yes, sir."
"Is she alive?" Steve asked.
Tony busted the window then held his hand over her chest, "FRIDAY vitals."
"Heart rate is slow, but it's there. Life functions are critical," FRIDAY told him.
"God, it's so much blood. How is she still alive?" Tony wondered as he moved the suit back to put his hand on her cheek, "Ellie… Ellie! Do you hear me?"
The eye that was not bloody and swollen opened, and she looked at him, "T…Ton," She gasped as she coughed and more blood flowed from her mouth.
"Don't talk, shit Steve, she has to have internal bleeding," Tony said as the car shifted, and Ellie gasped as she passed out again. Tony grabbed the roof of the car and pushed it up, "FRIDAY, when is ETA on the medical team?"
"8 minutes," FRIDAY told him.
"Shit, I don't know if she has 8 minutes," Tony told Steve, "FRIDAY give me a list of the injuries that you can tell."
Tony scanned his hand over Ellie's body.
"Cracked skull, fractured facial bones, broken arms, pelvis. The dashboard is preventing me from scanning Ellie's legs, but she appears to have a broken leg with protrusion of bone with the bleeding," FRIDAY informed him, "She isn't doing well, boss."
The Iron Legion roared from a distance.
"Balance the car, so it doesn't shift," Tony told them.
The bots went on all sides of the vehicle and secured the car so that it didn't move.
"FRIDAY vitals again," Tony said as he ripped the passenger door off and slipped out of the suit into the passenger seat. Squeezing himself between the seat that was thankfully back near the backseat and the crumpled dashboard, "FRIDAY, give me light. Shit, Steve, her legs are pinned. She has lost so much blood," He reached down and scanned to find where the most considerable portion of blood was coming from and sprayed her leg with Nano-Particles.
"Can you get her out?" Steve asked as Tony looked through the shattered back window at the light above as he heard sirens in the distance.
"We need to get this car up back onto the road," Tony said as he crawled back out of the car and into the suit, then flew up to the air medic that had started hovering about the scene.
"Iron Man?" The medic said as he opened the door.
"She is pinned and has a lost a lot of blood. I have my Iron Legion keeping the car stable, but I will bring the car up on the road. It will be the only way to get her out," Tony told him.
The medic nodded, then radioed the ground crew what Tony said as he flew back down to the car.
"FRIDAY, we need to scan the car for the least weak spots and get the car back onto the road as fast as possible. They can't extricate her down here. Not without losing more time," Tony said.
"Got it, boss," FRIDAY said as the Legion and more bots came down and positioned themselves around the car, "Car is secure."
Tony moved to the bottom of the car and used the Nano-tech to spread out under the car to keep it stable, then lifted the car to the bridge. Raising it back up to the road, he flew it down onto the street as two fire trucks and an ambulance drove over as Tony flew out from under the car as the Legion slowly put it to the ground.
Five firefighters ran over, and suddenly the whole area was lit up, "We have it from here, Iron Man."
"Her name is Ellie Barnes," Tony told them.
One of them stopped and looked at him, "Captain America's sister?"
"Yes," Tony said, "I'm not professional, but it doesn't look good to me. Save her, please."
He nodded and rushed to evaluate the situation.
"She has lost a lot of blood. How the hell is she still alive? Blood pressure and pulse are shallow. We have to get her out of there fast," The man with Lieutenant across the back of his jacket announced as he fired out orders and radioed for the helicopter to land.
Tony stood back watching as the firefighters worked as quickly as possible, pulling the front end forward as they cut the roof off the SUV and freed her legs from the dashboard.
"She's free," The Lieutenant yelled as they put her on a backboard then pulled her out, "Shit, she is bleeding out! Get a tourniquet!"
Tony watched as the medical team stepped in and rushed her over to the life flight.
"Stabilize that leg!" One medic yelled.
"She needs to be intubated," Another said as they got her into the helicopter.
"She is losing a lot of blood. We need to give her emergency red blood cells," Someone yelled.
"Shit, code blue! We are losing her! Get us in the air!"
Tony watched as the door was slammed shut, and it took off into the air.
He walked up to the Lieutenant, "Where are they taking her?"
The Lieutenant looked back at him as he took off his gloves, "Lincoln Medical Center is the best Level 1 in the area. In the Bronx," He told Tony, "Honestly, I've seen some bad accidents but… she is lucky to be still alive. How she is with all that blood in there and the injuries she has," He shook his head, "You can't not believe in miracles."
Ellie gasped as she opened her eyes and found herself lying on the beach. Sitting up, she ran her hands over her face and looked around at the fading sun setting over the horizon of the water. Smiling, she gazed out at the beautiful sunset.
"Ellie?"
Ellie turned and saw a few people at the edge of the grass. A man, a woman, and a little boy. A woman walked closer to her and stopped at the edge of the grass.
"Mom?" Ellie asked, trying not to cry as she saw her clearer.
A figure ran to the front of the small crowd, and Ellie stood up.
"Go," Sarah Rogers told him with a smile.
Ellie tried not to cry as Bucky stepped onto the beach and walked over to her.
"Angel, you shouldn't be here," Bucky said, pulling her into his arms.
Ellie sobbed against him, "I was in an accident. I… Steve tried to save me."
Bucky took her face into his hands, "You have to go back. Grant and the girls need you."
Ellie looked up at him, "Wait… you know?" Ellie asked.
Bucky nodded, "Yeah, I've known since before the snap," Bucky told her with a smile.
Ellie glanced back at her mother, "But I want to stay here, with you and with them."
"But you can't stay honey, people down there need you more," Sarah told her as she walked over.
"I'm always there for you, baby. Just look at that moon and think of me," Bucky told her as he kissed her.
Ellie sobbed against his lips, "I love you."
"I love you more," Bucky told her with a smile.
Ellie gasped as she was suddenly in a lot of pain and inside a loud helicopter, "Buck… Bucky," She gasped.
A man moved over to her, "Ma'am, you are in a medical helicopter. Can you answer me a question, what type of blood are you?"
"O neg," as Ellie struggle for breath, "Steve-"
"Your brother will be meeting us at the hospital. Just try to stay conscious as much as you can."
*~*~* November 19, 2020- Bronx, New York *~*~*
Tony landed on the ground next to the life flight after it touched down. He moved back as the medical team rushed out to the landing pad.
The life-flight team pushed Ellie out of the helicopter, and the medical team took over, "Straight to the OR!"
Tony stepped out of the suit as he saw her move, "Ellie… Ellie, I'm here!"
"Tony? Tony? Where is Bucky?" Ellie asked, struggling to breathe as bubbles of blood came out of her mouth.
Tony froze as they pushed her through the doors and the doors closed behind them.
A nurse poked her head out, "Mr. Stark, we shouldn't allow you, but are you coming?"
Tony nodded as he pulled his mask out of his pants pocket, "Friday, send the suit home."
"Yes, boss," FRIDAY said as the suit closed up and took off.
Tony walked into the hospital and froze as he saw the trail of blood down the hallway.
"Right this way," The nurse told him as they followed the trail of blood.
Tony felt his stomach clench as he thought he would be sick as the blood turned off down another hallway.
"Mr. Stark, this is as far as you can go," The nurse said, pausing at the EMERGENCY STAFF ONLY door, "But you are free to stay in our OR waiting room, just down the hall, and we will come out with updates," The nurse told him, "The waiting room is right down there, and with protocols, there is no one down there."
Tony nodded as he watched her go through the marked door.
Walking down the hallway, he found the waiting room and sat down in one of the most uncomfortable chairs he had ever seen. He went to place his head in his hands and noticed the blood on his hands for the first time.
Tony lost track of how long he had been staring at his hands when he heard his name and looked up to see Steve in the doorway.
"Tony, where is she?" Steve asked.
Tony swallowed hard as he took in Steve's pale face, "They rushed her back to emergency surgery," Tony said as Natasha walked in and saw him.
"Is that all her blood?" Natasha asked, looking at him.
Tony stared at his hands, "Yeah… where are the kids?"
"Our neighbor Rose and her Granddaughter lost power right before," Natasha sighed, "Pepper and Rhodey flew to the house in the Quinjet too right before we left," Natasha said as Steve started to pace, "Steve, there is nothing you can do, just try to sit."
Natasha took his hand and guided him to a seat.
Tony heaved a sigh, "I'm going to make some calls. Not that he will be able to do much but get a hold of Bruce. See if I can get him to get out of the lab. Contact Helen Cho," Tony said as he finally looked up from his hands.
Steve stood up and walked over to Tony and pulled him into a hug, "Thank you, Tony."
"I…" Tony said as he bit his lip, swallowing down the lump in his throat. He nodded, then turned and left.
Steve sat down next to Natasha, "What are we going to do, Nat?" Steve asked as he put his head in his hands, "Those kids can't lose both their parents."
Natasha placed her hand on his back, "They aren't going to. Bucky put it in his journal that she said that this happened and that she came back to visit after this," Natasha said.
Steve looked at her, "But she wasn't the same. Her leg, she told him that it never was the same. The serum couldn't help it. Her face," Steve said as his eyes widened, "God, she just started the modeling career and was having so much fun with it."
Natasha shook her head, "None of that matters as long as she is still here," Natasha told him as she squeezed his hand, "You have to be strong for her. She is going to need you a lot for the next few months, from what Bucky said."
"Shit, her memory," Steve said as he stood up, "Oh god."
"Steve, breathe," Natasha said as she stood up and took his hands, "There is nothing we can do to change it now. We just have to be there for her."
A nurse walked out, "Mr. Stark? Oh, Mr. Rogers?"
Steve looked at her, "Yes?"
"Do we have permission to do anything medically necessary to help your sister?" The nurse asked, holding out a form.
"Yes," Steve said as he started signing it, and two people ran past the waiting room.
"Karen, code blue in OR2!" The nurse yelled, running past.
The nurse took the clipboard, "We have his power of attorney!"
Steve collapsed to the floor in anguish as the door shut behind her.
Ellie gasped as she woke up on the sand again.
Groaning, she threw her head back into the sand, this time finding herself gazing at the stars.
"Look, I love you, but what are you doing here again?"
Ellie looked over at Bucky, who was lying next to her on the sand, "Stop, my heart just gave out because of the lack of blood. Plus, I am cold," Ellie said with a pout.
Bucky shook his head, "You aren't going to remember this… any of it," Bucky told her, lacing their fingers together.
Ellie sighed as she sat up, "I know, I don't want to leave you."
"I know you don't, but you have to. The kids need you," Bucky told her, "Plus, I might know a thing or two. I won't be here much longer, so why should you stay?"
"What do you mean?" Ellie asked, looking at him.
"We are all coming back, El," Bucky told her as he kissed the side of her head.
"When?" Ellie asked him.
"Not for three more years, but I need you to fight for me. Can you do that?" Bucky asked, looking into her eyes.
"I don't know if I have the strength to do that, Buck," Ellie told him dejectedly, "I'm so tired, even before this."
"Do it for the kids. Do it for me," Bucky told her as he took his hand away from her.
Ellie gasped as a wave rolled off her, "What was that?" She asked, looking at her hand as her powers surged.
"They are trying to bring you back," Bucky explained, "It's part of why you won't remember any of this. Your brain has been low on oxygen. You should be dead, but you are a fighter, Angel. Don't forget that."
"Am… am I going to be okay?" Ellie asked, scared.
"Not for a while, but you can't see me, but I see you, and I'm here for you," Bucky told her as he kissed her, "Fight."
Ellie gasped as she felt herself being pulled away, "Buck!"
"I love you!" Bucky called as she was sucked into the darkness.
Tony walked into the waiting room to see Steve pacing, "What happened?"
"Ellie flatlined on the table," Natasha told him sadly.
Tony sat on the chair, "Shit."
Steve stood pacing as Tony made phone calls, and Natasha worried as every person walked by. Steve had just sat down when the nurse from earlier came into the room after an hour.
"Mr. Rogers, I have some news," The nurse told him, "I am Karen."
Steve walked over to her, "Yes?"
"She is alive, and we have her stabilized, but she has a lot of injuries," Karen told them, "It's a miracle just how much blood she lost and that she is still with us. Her left leg is where most serious bleeding is coming from, and we now have it under control. We do need blood. Are you a match to your sister?"
"Yes, I will donate blood," Steve said.
"Good, her left leg was crushed. It is pretty severe. We do not know if we will be able to save it. The team is evaluating it after she is stable. Right leg has a severe compound fracture that thankfully missed anything vital," Karen told him, "We are monitoring her kidney levels. They are much lower than we'd like. X-Ray shows her pelvis is also broke. Fractures to her facial bones as well as her skull, we will need to monitor. Her arms are broken in various spots as well. She has been to hell and back, but she is alive right now. It is a sheer miracle. They are trying to relieve the pressure on her brain right now, and she coded." Karen looked at him, "It is a true miracle that she survives. Everyone thought they saw a spirit almost, but she came back."
"Where can I donate?" Steve asked meekly.
"Come with me. We will probably be needing your blood soon if they cannot control the bleeding," Karen told him.
Natasha turned to Tony after they left, "What?" She asked as she saw his face.
"Strange," Tony said, shaking his head, "He's a neurosurgeon… was one."
"Do you think he saw the need for him to come back and step in?" Natasha asked.
Tony shrugged, "He had the capabilities to do so. If she is that important as he said she was if he saw the need to save her."
Natasha frowned, "When did he say Ellie was important?"
Tony swallowed hard, "On Titan. When we were forming our plan, he told me to protect Ellie at all costs. She was part of the bigger picture."
Natasha shook her head, "First Wakanda has a prophecy possibly about her, and then Strange says something similar? What makes her so important?"
"It hasn't happened yet. We have to get her through this," Tony said as his phone rang, "Bruce, hey Bruce, are you close?"
"I am, but Tony, you have to remember I am not that kind of doctor," Bruce said on the other end of the line.
"Bruce, it's that bad," Tony told him.
"I'll be there in 15."
Steve jumped up from the seat where he was resting as Bruce came into the room after speaking with the team working on Ellie, "Bruce, what did you learn?"
Bruce sighed, "It's not good, Steve. Sit," Bruce told him.
Steve sat next to Natasha, who took his hand.
Bruce took the mask from his face and ran his hand over it, "I was talking to the emergency surgeon. He stepped out to let the neurosurgeon step in. Steve, even with the serum, he believes that she is going to have extensive brain damage. Organ failure is an extreme possibility at this point. That is why he called in the neurosurgeon to see if he could help her better than he could. Her brain pressure is so high, and they may have to remove part of her skull temporarily. She is lucky that she hasn't lost her leg, but there is no guarantee that it will be anything close to normal. On the left one, the surgeon said that her leg is just in pieces. The right leg was thankfully more easily fixed. They reset the bones and stitched her up where they protruded, but that left leg. It might not be able to be fixed. We will see how she is in 24 hours, but Steve, some decisions are going to have to be made."
"About her leg?" Steve asked.
Bruce looked at him, "If she were to flatline again, whether to resuscitate her again. Any additional oxygen deprivation at this point would worsen the situation. At this point, I hope the serum kicks in, Steve, because it is not right now. The doctor isn't sure she will even make it through the night."
a/n3: Sorry I didn thave this one out yesterday but, you know, life got in the way. Next chapter will probably be three weeks from now if not a month but keep an eye out and as always, thank you again!
To the reviews:
tuckerjnp1- Thank you for the review! Here is a little more Sebastian for you!
PrettyRecklessLaura- Thank you for reading and reviewing!
Preview of Chapter 111- You Alone
"So the serum is kicking in and healing her?" Steve asked.
"Slightly better than the average person but Mr. Rogers, I want you to truly realize the gravity of this situation. She may not make it out of this," Meredith told him.
Steve felt Natasha come up next to him and grab his hand, "You don't know my sister. She is a fighter."