Chapter 110

As the sun began to descend after the peak of the day, Sarek and Taro continued their silent trek deeper into the desert. They had been walking in single file for a few hours now, Taro leading the way without pause. As Sarek watched his nephew's lean form as he scaled the dunes, he couldn't help but notice how more alike they were becoming. He had heard from Svelda how he was top of his class and also how she had misgivings on his current estrangement from his bondmate. Sarek noted certain parallels with his own history and wondered if the cause of the estrangement was due to the boy's telepathic limitations amongst his kind but he kept his thoughts to himself. It had been many years since Taro had sought his counsel and with their relationship in its current state, it would be many more. Sarek did not possess his wife's ease for befriending children. Not even with those of his own blood. He tried to think what Amanda would say…

"Taro, when you told me that my wife had explained her difficulties to you, how much did she tell you?" he asked curiously.

He noticed Taro's spine stiffen but he continued walking with his eyes looking straight ahead.

"I do not wish to betray her trust as her confidante," Taro said coolly.

Sarek thought he detected an undertone of protectiveness in his voice. Interesting…

"I do not intend to judge either of you," Sarek explained. "I am only curious how this subject came to be discussed between you when your stations are so different."

Taro's pace slowed, surreptitiously allowing Sarek to walk beside him.

"Shortly after your bonding, I saw her wandering the streets of Shi'Kahr alone. I intercepted her and discovered that the VSA was her objective. I assisted her and when I had the opportunity, I asked her why you were not with her," he explained.

They walked together in silence for a few moments. Taro seemed to consider his next words carefully.

"She explained to me that she did not know whether the bond was working and asked for my advice given her knowledge of my own difficulties in this area. She found her master's guidance wanting."

Sarek better understood her motivation now but still did not understand why she had not simply spoken to him about it.

"She is very loyal to you, sa-kuk," said Taro as if he knew Sarek's line of thought. "You chose well," he stated pensively.

Sarek noticed Taro's use of the honorific for uncle and wondered whether Taro's opinion of him had softened recently.

"You have been of great service to her, sa-bath," he said, returning the honor in referring to him as: nephew.

However instead of this encouraging further intimacy between them, Taro suddenly reversed the mood.

"She would not have needed it if you had not neglected her," Taro pointed out.

This retort stopped Sarek in his tracks. Taro stopped and looked back at him, something he had never had the courage to do before. On close inspection, Sarek saw no malice in him so decided to ignore his instinct to reprimand him. At least, this once…

"Now that you have reproached me, is there anything further you wish to say on this subject?" he asked.

At this, Taro sensibly, ducked his head.

"No."

They continued with their walk. Taro seemed more relaxed now that he had said that. Sarek wondered how long it had been on his mind…

"So you were the means by which we made contact briefly that one time," Sarek surmised aloud.

Taro nodded and Sarek continued to walk, deep in thought. Taro's own abilities had come a long way from his last assessment if he had been able to achieve such a thing.

Suddenly, Sarek felt a faint awareness of I-Chaya in the distance. The sehlat's presence was reassuring and he was keen to please his master.

"You sense him now too, don't you?" Taro asked.

Sarek nodded in response. It was now within his power to dismiss Taro and continue the rest of the way on his own but he decided not to. The boy had proven himself and perhaps by allowing him to stay it might be possible to improve their relationship from cold acquaintance to familiar uncle and nephew.

Amanda put her hands on the glass separating her from her captor's fragile form.

"Is there anything I can do?" she asked, concerned.

The Samaritan's frail chest shuddered as they breathed.

"Fundamentally, no. But you can decrease my suffering and that is why I brought you here," they explained.

Amanda had many more questions but somehow it was as if the Samaritan had mentally put a finger on her lips. She could not ask them.

"You must return to your compound and seek out the Matriarch. Only she can help to correct your state. But you must…" the Samaritan closed their eyes and forced themselves to breathe deeply though Amanda thought it was still too shallow. "You must not let your master find you first. If he suspects what you are up to then he will cover his tracks. How exactly I do not know but you would be in mortal danger."

Even telepathically the Samaritan's voice was becoming weaker. Their embargo on Amanda's thoughts slipped for a moment.

"But how am I to find her without alerting him if he can see into my thoughts?" Amanda asked.

The Samaritan groaned aloud; their thoughts were barely a whisper.

"I will protect you and guide your subconscious. You will forget you ever saw me and this place once you leave," they explained.

Amanda felt uneasy about this approach, she had already had someone playing with her mind. How could she trust another Vulcan after what S'Kelnek had done?

"There is no other way. Believe me, I find it as distasteful as you do. But I have more at stake than you or your master. You have realized the strength of my telepathy but you cannot comprehend its sensitivity. I can hear every thought up to five hundred miles away. Out here, it is quiet enough for me to rest peacefully but ever since you arrived your deflected thoughts have been a poison," the Samaritan hissed.

"Originally your master intended to dispose of you in some kind of freak accident but once he found how manipulated you could be, his plans changed…"

Amanda felt like ice had just dripped down her spine. Surely, he couldn't have really planned to… kill her? The Samaritan's eyes fluttered closed and Amanda realized that they were losing consciousness.

"Wait! What do you mean? What are his plans now?" she asked, urgently.

When the Samaritan didn't stir, she banged her fist on the glass. Their eyes creaked open a fraction.

"There is no time," they explained. "Your husband is almost here. You must go. Do what I ask and you will spare us both from morbid fates."

"No. Wait. You have to tell me. What is he going to do?" Amanda questioned frantically.

But slowly she began to feel fatigue creep into the corners of her mind. No! I'm not giving into this.

"Tell me!" she demanded.

"Goodbye human," the Samaritan whispered, closing their eyes once more before Amanda descended into darkness.

As Sarek and Taro caught up with I-Chaya, the sehlat affectionately nuzzled the palm of Sarek's hand.

"He says Amanda is close," Taro explained, looking out onto the horizon.

Sarek noticed how he referred to her by her first name and not her title but did not comment on it. Now was not the time to discuss Taro's apparent attachment to her.

Sarek straightened to join Taro's search and just in the distance he could make out a small dot. Could that be her? I-Chaya shot off in that direction and his suspicions were confirmed. He lengthened his stride and gestured for Taro to follow in I-Chaya's pursuit.

After an hour of strenuous walking they were finally close enough to see her clearly. She was walking away from them on the top of a bank of another dune forcing them to descend into the trough off theirs and climb onto hers. As they came closer, they saw that she was less walking and more shuffling. Her blue robes were dusty with red sand and her headscarf had fallen to reveal some of her hair.

Taro and I-Chaya stayed behind him cautiously, allowing him to approach her first. So they too could sense that something was not quite right, Sarek thought. Surprised that she had not heard their approach, he called out gently to her.

"Amanda?"

She stopped suddenly, her head straightening. As she turned around, he saw her pale eyes widen as she saw him standing there. Her face immediately flooded with relief, she rushed toward him. He offered her the ozh'esta but she brushed it aside and clung to him fiercely.

Sarek looked sharply to Taro but found that it wasn't necessary as the boy had wisely turned his back on them. Secure in their privacy, he tried to assess his wife's condition which was difficult in such a tight embrace. He squeezed her shoulders gently and tried to pull her back so he could see her face.

Her face was a light red indicating sunburn. Her eyes were bloodshot and her lips chapped to the point of bleeding. She looked at him curiously and with intense focus. He was amazed that she was still conscious after being in the desert for so long without any outer gear.

"Do you remember who I am?" he asked, cautiously.

After a few moments, Amanda blinked and finally turned from his gaze.

"Of course, adhun," her voice came out as a very hoarse whisper.

Her arms dropped from her hold around him and she stepped back unsteadily.

"How did you find me?" she rasped, rubbing her forehead with squinted eyes.

Sarek gestured to Taro.

"Taro managed to track you down," he explained.

The boy took this as his cue to turn around. He gasped as he took in her distressed state.

Sarek took an emergency beacon from his pocket and pressed it. The desert watch would be at their location in minutes. It was hardly discreet but Amanda's condition would not have been possible to conceal even if she were able to walk with them back to the compound.

Taro moved forward hastily to offer her his canteen. She tried to unscrew the cap but her hands were shaking too much. She looked at them, bewildered. The boy unscrewed it for her and she gratefully took a sip. As she continued, Sarek saw to his alarm that her face was beginning to pale, even underneath the sunburn. Her blood pressure was falling.

Just as she was about to collapse, Sarek caught the crook of her elbow and laid her weight against him so that he could bring her to sit on the dune. Taro didn't turn away this time. Instead he pulled out a medical tricorder and began to scan her prone form. Taro offered the results to Sarek but he was distracted by Amanda's head lolling back onto his shoulder. She had lost consciousness.

Amanda slowly stirred. The first sensation she felt was the soft linen against her skin and the second, a gentle breeze across her face. Sarek must have left the ventilator open for me this morning, she smiled to herself. But the third sensation was unusual. The smell was sharp, alkaline. This wasn't what home smelt like…

With an effort, she opened her eyelids. She had to blink a few times before her eyes could focus. She saw the vitals monitoring equipment above her head first. Her brow furrowed, it seemed familiar somehow… but she couldn't remember why. Turning to the side she saw Sarek sitting next to her, deep in thought as he consulted a PADD. Amanda noticed he was in only a charcoal tunic. Shouldn't he be at work? What time is it?

As she moved to try and look for her wristwatch and found it more difficult than she had expected, she caught Sarek's attention. He put away his PADD hastily.

"Amanda, how are you feeling?" he asked.

His words seemed foggy at first but in an instant she felt awake. She lifted her hands to look at them. Her limbs felt stiff, as if she had not moved in a very long time. Satisfied that there was no pain, she managed to struggle up to sitting. Sarek helped position her pillow behind her. She smiled gratefully at him before realizing her mistake. She glanced about the room fearfully.

"We are alone," he assured her.

She breathed out a sigh of relief. He offered her a sachet of water and she sipped it gratefully. She hadn't realized how thirsty she was. As her brain activity slowly flared into life she found herself feeling very, deeply confused.

"What happened Sarek?" she asked. "Why am I here?"

Before he answered, he handed her one of the golden bars that she knew so well.

"Eat first," he instructed.

As she took a bite her stomach suddenly filled with ravenous hunger. She quickly ate the bar and two more that he placed on her lap and finished with more water for good measure.

Now that she had followed his instructions, she looked at him, her eyes full of worry.

"What is the last thing you remember?" he asked delicately.

His uncharacteristic softness made her even more nervous. She furrowed her brows.

"The dinner. I danced… Salvik demanded more. I ushered out the last few guests with Svelda…" her voice drifted off as the timeline in her mind evaporated after this point.

"And then?" he prompted, after a couple of minutes.

Amanda tried to grasp for the memories but her mind was cloudy. She had been so tired by that point in the evening…

"I think… I went for a walk," she said, unsure of herself.

But after saying it, she suddenly felt more confident.

"Yes, I did. I wanted some fresh air whilst it was quiet in the compound," she explained. "I walked the underground passageways to reach the Nat'garen enclosure."

The white mushroom-like domes flashed before her eyes.

"I only realized too late that I had gone too far. I was lost and trying to find my way back when…" she looked into his dark eyes. "But then you found me," she smiled, pleased with herself that she had remembered.

Sarek watched her coolly.

"You are… sure that is all you remember?" he asked.

Amanda got the impression that he didn't quite believe her. She tried not to bristle from this hurt she felt. She nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

He put his fingertips together in front of his pursed lips. His dark eyes were calculating…

"Amanda, why would you do something so reckless?" he questioned. "You know the desert is not safe, especially when you are alone."

Amanda dropped her head and swallowed nervously.

"I didn't mean to. I…" she trailed off, not knowing what to say.

"You didn't think to change your attire or take any equipment with you if that was truly your intent?" he said incredulously.

Amanda suddenly felt very small. She couldn't explain it herself. She tried to grasp her thoughts from that evening but they escaped her.

He was about to say something more but she interrupted him.

"Please adhun, don't be angry," she whispered.

She shut her eyes as she felt them begin to glisten. She mustn't cry. She couldn't waste water in this way. She heard the rustle of his tunic as he straightened, taken aback. He fell silent.

"I don't know why I…" she shrugged helplessly. "I just remember wanting to go for a walk, the next thing I know I'm lost and I can't find my way back."

She looked at him, imploring. Despite her best efforts, a tear fell down her cheek.

"I was so scared Sarek. I thought…" she shook her head. "I thought I was going to die out there."

She gripped the linen tight and held it against her chest, staring into space as dune after dune flew past in her memory.

For a while Sarek stared at her as if he were unsure of what he was seeing. She had never seen him look at her like that before. Suddenly he stood stiffly and folded his hands behind his back.

"You have had a…" he considered his words carefully, "shock", he decided. "You should rest. The healers will return soon to check on you. But before I go, I have one further question."

Slowly, she turned her eyes up towards his. He seemed so far away although he stood only at the foot of her bed.

"Yes?" she said quietly.

A muscle flickered in his jaw before he spoke.

"Your right arm has suffered an injury recently but is now healed. The healers do not have anything on your record. Can you remember anything about this?"

Amanda looked down at her right arm. There had been an injury? She turned it over and saw nothing but smooth skin and she felt no pain. She looked back at him, confused.

Her reaction alone seemed to give him the answer he needed. He looked no longer suspicious but concerned, his lips drawn in a tight line.

"You should rest," he repeated firmly. "I will be back shortly."

Amanda watched as he left the room, leaving her on her own. Feeling oddly relieved, she felt a chill run through her so she snuggled down into the linen to keep warm. She lay there for a few minutes quietly before she felt the sudden urge to be anywhere but inside this room.

Oblivious to the fact that she was wearing only a shift and nothing on her feet, she got up and moved to the door. Laying her ear against it, she couldn't hear anyone outside. Stepping out, she left the room to find herself in the familiar orange walls of the compound. She must have been using one of the patient rooms, she thought to herself.

She left the corridor and went up the stairs to emerge on the ground floor on the inner edge of the compound walls. She saw sunlight creep in through some of the tiny slits for windows and judged that it was early morning.

Shadows flickered ahead of her as some Vulcans were about to turn the corner. She managed to reach an exit so that she could crouch down on the outside wall. Most remained indoors taking shelter so there was no-one around to observe her as she scrabbled around the edge of the building.

She peered around the corner to the east side of the building where the sun's rays illuminated T'Kah's shrine. The kneeling pregnant form of the clay goddess was attended by only a few this early in the morning. They sat deep in meditation. Straining her eyes Amanda recognized the foremost figure to be the Matriarch. Her simple robes contrasting with the vivid colors of her attending women.

Amanda felt feverish. The sight of the Matriarch pulled her forwards like a magnet. What started as a slow steady walk turned into a jog which turned into a sprint. The urgency she felt was immediate. But suddenly she felt goosebumps prickle across her skin when the Matriarch sat just a few feet away undisturbed. Something was wrong.

Unease poured over her and she knew she had to get out of there. But she was so close. She staggered to a stop as suddenly her head began to pound. She hissed as searing pain raced across her temples. She turned to retreat and found herself facing the gray curls and deeply wrinkled brow of her master: S'Kelnek.

The pain increased as he drew nearer and she winced, dropping to her knees. She looked behind her for help but the Vulcans remained tranquil and still.

She fell on her side, paralyzed and reached a hand weakly out to her Matriarch's sitting form. Finally the Lady T'Pau turned around to look at her and their eyes connected. But it was too late.

S'Kelnek crouched down next to her and the pain increased to a pitch she could no longer bear. She blacked out, S'Kelnek's whispered words were the last thing to float across her mind:

"There you are."