Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters.

A/N: Thanks to MaeSilverpaws1, who is beta-ing this story.

Chapter One Hundred Fourteen

Trying Occlumency

"Harry," Remus said in a soft voice touching his shoulder.

"Huh?" Harry said opening his eyes slowly, he felt a little dazed but he was pleased that he had spent most of the last hour with a clear mind only spilling in concentration a few times.

"You seem to have made good progress," Remus said smiling proudly.

"Yeah, I think I'm starting to get the hung of this," Harry smiled back at him.

"I believe that you're ready for the next stage in your lessons," Remus said.

"But I still haven't master meditation," Harry said.

"Does that mean that we can go onto the next stage of training too?" George asked opening his eyes and making himself more comfortable as his legs were starting to cramp.

"No," Remus answered simply. "You still have a lot to work on before you will be ready. Hermione, I believe that you have made enough progress too, to start if you want. However, in this stage I'll need to teach you each one on one."

"So does this mean I'm going to get out of punishment duty today?" Harry asked. It had been four days since the secret about becoming Animagus was let out and all the kids had been force to do several household cleaning, among other things.

"Maybe," Remus shrugged. "You know Harry I've already told you that you didn't have to do the punishments … we already grounded you last year."

"Yeah," Harry shrugged, he did know that was true, but he didn't feel right about watching the others doing work when it had been his idea in the first place.

"Don't worry about us mate, you learning this will get us all one step closer to knowing the mysterious … whatever … that we don't get to know now," Fred said.

"I don't know if you're going to get all the answer you want," Remus warned.

"We know that Professor Moony, we're just trying to be supportive of our favorite spectacled git," George said sincerely. "Now we're off to the kitchen … I think Mum wants us to make healing potions for her and then clean up the mess."

"You know, there's something terribly lax about Mum's punishment this time around," Fred said. "It's almost like her heart isn't in it."

"I believe part of her is actually impressed with what you did," Remus said in a soft voice, his eyes on the door to the kitchen making sure no one was going to join them.

"That was our thoughts too," Ginny agreed. "Not getting full punishment is nice."

"As if you've ever been punished before," Ron grumbled, "Mum always lets you off."

"It's nice to be the only girl sometimes," Ginny shrugged.

"You don't seem to say that when Mum making you set the table," Fred reminded her.

"No … I don't seem to do I," Ginny agreed, "oh well … we better get going. See you later Harry."

"Yeah," Harry smiled as he watched his friends leave and then he looked at Remus. "So … what's the next step?"

"Actually practicing Occlumency of course," Remus said.

"Okay … and what do I have to do?" Harry asked, cocking his head to the side.

"That's difficult to explain," Remus let out a breath, frowning as he tried to think of how to say this. "The only way you can actually learn Occlumency, or at least the only way to know that you've learned it correctly, is to have someone use Legilimency on you."

"Yeah, I already figured that part out," Harry admitted, though he didn't like the idea of anyone getting access to his mind and private thoughts. "But can't you tell me what I have to do to block you?"

"I'm sorry I can't," Remus said. "It is something you'll have to figure out yourself."

"Why?" Harry frowned. "I don't mean to sound too whinny or anything … I'm just trying to understand."

"Don't worry Harry, I know when you're being whinny," Remus chuckled, and then laughed harder when Harry stuck his tongue out at him. "The practice that you've been through to control your thoughts should help you to form a shield in your mind to block an invading mind."

Harry frowned, he had thought that was what Remus was intending when they started meditation practice, but still he had thought there would be more instructions to the lesson.

"I'm sorry Harry," Remus sighed. "There is no other way. Now I want you to control your thoughts," he went on to say, taking out his wand, "I will give you a minute before I use Legilimency on you. Now seeing as you're trying to work on your Occlumency I will use the strongest from of Legilimency that I possess;" Remus paused and took a deep breath, "which will be the best way for you to learn."

"That you possess?" Harry frowned.

"I've already told you that I'm not the best at Legilimency," Remus said. "But I'm under the belief that if you learn the basics step by step you'll be able to become an accomplished Occlumens."

"Does that mean the next step after this is to learn from someone better at Legilimency?" Harry mused out loud.

"Most likely, but first you're going to have to keep me out of your head," Remus said. "Now, do you have any more questions or would you like to start."

"I don't know how much liking is evolved with this," Harry grumbled, "but I am ready."

"Okay," Remus said talking his wand out and pointing it at Harry. "Legilimens!"

Harry had thought he had control of his thoughts, he had cleared his mind like he had been training to do this last month, but it didn't seem to help him at all from blocking Remus from his mind. He felt Remus invade his mind like a knife and he saw himself when he was nine laughing with Sirius, when he was twelve and he was making the Polyjuice Potion, when he was fourteen hearing his name being called from the Goblet of Fire.

Without even trying to stop Remus the images disappeared and Harry felt himself sag in his chair, he was breathing heavily and feeling pretty bad. It was more than just the fact that someone else was viewing his thoughts, even if that someone was Remus, someone he trusted, and everything that was shown was something Remus already knew about). He didn't want anyone to see his thoughts. Still, that was only a small part that had him scowling. He had totally and completely failed to block Remus from his mind. He couldn't remember the last time he had failed at something, especially something that was important for him to learn.

"Harry, I told you this would be difficult," Remus said recognizing the signs of the boy's disappointment.

"Just try it again," Harry said grimacing.

O

"So how did it go?" Hermione asked Harry an hour later. She had found the potion that Molly had made them make was rather interesting and she was glad she knew how to brew the healing potion (that could always come in handy to know when your best friends liked getting in as much danger hers did). Still she was thrilled at the prospect of actually learning Occlumency and wanted to have her chance at it soon. "Was it difficult?"

"It was," Harry answered shortly, sitting down at the table and lying his head down.

"Really difficult, I see," Ron noted frowning at his best friend and grabbing Hermione's hand to pull her to him.

She looked up at Ron and sighed, his wordless message was quite clear. She shouldn't ask Harry more questions. "I wasn't going to," she whispered to Ron and he grinned.

"Sure you weren't," he muttered back and she narrowed her eyes at him.

"Harry," Remus said coming into the room and sitting on the opposite side of the table. "Today's session wasn't …"

"Not now," Harry said, his voice muffled because he hadn't lifted his head.

"Harry," Remus said leaning his head down on the table and lowering his voice so only Harry could hear him. "I know you aren't happy right now …"

"Aurgh," Harry groaned, shifted in his position so that he could glare at Remus. "I completely failed. And I don't want to talk about this now …" he grimaced as his hand went to his scar on his forehead.

"Is your scar hurting?" Remus grimaced.

"Yeah," Harry grunted.

"I was afraid this might happen," Remus frowned.

"Hmph," Harry grunted again. "I supposed this means I have to try to keep my mind clear now."

"It might be good, though I don't think it's necessary as of yet," Remus said.

"Right …" Harry grumbled and lowered his head on the table again.

"The meditation practice was to help you organize your mind, a principle you'll need to learn Occlumency, a way to control your emotions when they start to overwhelm you," Remus said talking in a whisper again, though if he had looked up he would have realized that no one but Harry and him were in the kitchen anymore.

Harry again shifted so that he could look at Remus; he didn't say anything but narrowed his eyes.

"Learning Occlumency is different for each person," Remus said, "I didn't know how to advice you before this session, but I might have an idea that could help."

"And what's that?" Harry asked.

"You're trying to clear your mind to make a shield against me," Remus stated.

"Isn't that what you wanted me to do?" Harry grumbled.

"That was how it worked for me," Remus said with a sigh. "I'm sorry that it wasn't the same key for you, but that doesn't mean it won't still be helpful. Clearing your emotion is still important to mastering Occlumency, but I think you have to take a more aggressive approach to your mind being invading."

"Aggressive?" Harry questioned.

"Harry, I can feel the irritation in your mind when I used Legilimency against you," Remus said. "And I know how angry you are about not …"

"Yeah I get that," Harry interrupted him; the last image that went through his mind was his current thoughts and feeling about his failure.

"I could feel your shield strengthen with that frustration," Remus told him. "You did not want me to see that."

"Yeah!" Harry agreed hotly. "And yet you bring it up!"

"Because your irritation actually helped you," Remus said. "It's irrational that your anger would help when it's an emotion that can be used for most to weaken a mental shield, but you've never liked doing things the normal way."

"Are you calling me irrational?" Harry asked.

"You can be," Remus said, smiling as he saw the flicker of amusement in Harry's eyes before he buried that in his annoyance again. "But what I'm really trying to say is that you always use your most powerful magic when you're in great need. When you're trying to protect yourself or others."

"So what are you suggesting?" Harry asked confused.

"I'm not sure," Remus sighed. "This is a learning experience for me too. But I think if you view me as a threat … that it might help."

Harry grimaced, he was starting to understand what Remus was saying, but he wasn't sure how well that would work for him. "I don't know if I can view you as a threat."

"Maybe we don't have to go as far as that," Remus said. "But if I try to get to some of your more embarrassing memories … you'll want to stop me."

"I don't like the sound of that," Harry said looking mortified.

"That's the point," Remus shrugged.

"Okay, we'll try," Harry muttered.

"Harry … Remus … get in here!" Sirius voice rang though the house and more specifically the kitchen.

"It's not even lunch time? What's Sirius doing home?" Harry questioned.

"He wasn't going into work today until this afternoon," Remus said, getting up from the table looking stunned. "We should see what's up."

"Yeah," Harry agreed, having already gotten up and heading to the other room where they had heard Sirius voice coming from.

"Sirius, what … wha …?" Remus started to say before he came to a halt in the doorway, causing Harry to walk into his back.

"Ouch … Remus what …?" Harry started to say but a new voice interrupted him by calling his name. Harry stopped where he was and looked up as Remus moved out of the way to reveal the last person Harry would have thought would be there. "Dad?"