Over the next several weeks it became clear that Snape was avoiding her after the incident in the tunnel. He no longer joined his mind with hers before she went to sleep. He kept their interactions to a bare minimum. When she tried to talk to him, he brushed her off. In class he kept his distance, responding to her questions with one word answers. For their private lessons he set up the Room of Requirement to whatever puzzle he'd come up with, then left her there for the duration. They brewed together less and less, and oftentimes he left the Brewing Lab to her and disappeared completely.

Freddie was miserable. She regretted ever opening her stupid mouth. She didn't know how to mend things between them and every time she tried to bring it up with Snape, he'd make an excuse and disappear.

As the days dragged on into October it became clear to her that their relationship – or whatever it was – was over. He made no effort to speak to her much less take her home on a weekend. It was over and Freddie was miserable. Heartbroken. She found herself crying – at night, in the bathroom between classes, even once or twice felt herself tearing up at dinner – and she hated herself for it.

Those who had been closest to her – her dorm mates, Amelia, the rest of her 'Potions fan club' – could tell that something was wrong. They tried to talk to her, to comfort her, to find out what was wrong...but after Freddie snapping at them a few too many times eventually they drifted away and stopped trying. Maggie and Christine didn't sit with her at dinner anymore. The younger students stopped asking her for help with their homework. They all left her alone...except for Amelia. Amelia stubbornly continued to sit next to her at mealtimes, even if neither of them spoke a word. Sometimes Amelia would tell her about her day but she'd learned not to expect any reaction from Freddie when she did and most of the time they just sat silently together. Brian would sit next to his girlfriend and the two of them would talk with Freddie on Amelia's other side, pushing food around her plate until it was time to leave the Great Hall.

The only thing that brought Freddie any comfort was Ziggy. The kneazle kitten had more than tripled in weight in the last several weeks. His eyes were fully open and they were a startlingly bright green in color and seemed to show an intelligence far above that of any animal Freddie had ever encountered. He was growing steadier on his feet every day and no longer spent the entire day in the sack around Freddie's neck, though sometimes he still napped there and he was as much a comfort to her as she was to him. He only required bottle feeding 4-5 times a day. He'd started eating a mushy blend of cat food Freddie had gotten from Hagrid that she kept in a small bowl near her bed.

Sometimes she spent hours just watching Ziggy explore the dorm, playing with a feather quill or a rolled up bit of parchment. His coat had thickened into an unusual reddish-brown color as he grew and the tips of his ears, paws, and tail were black. He was a gorgeous creature and Freddie often told him so.

Freddie kept a parchment with the steps of the Animagus process on her bedside table. She'd started the process over on the full moon in October and so far she had gone three weeks without losing the mandrake leaf she held in the upper corner of her mouth.

7 days before the next full moon Freddie set her watch to wake her up at 6 a.m. She needed to collect dew to use in the Animagus Potion. When her watch beeped her awake that morning she pushed herself into a sitting position and turned the alarm off. She looked around groggily and realized with a start that someone was crouched beside the window that looked out beneath the lake. She blinked several times and realized it was a house elf, cleaning the glass of the window with a rag. And not just any house elf -

"Noelle," Freddie said in greeting and the house elf whirled around.

"Oh! Noelle is sorry, miss. House elves is not meant to be seen cleaning but Noelle was running late tonight. Forgive me," she said with a bow.

"It's okay," Freddie assured her, sliding out of bed and pulling her robe on over her pajamas, disturbing Ziggy who had been curled at the foot of her bed on top of the robe. "It's good to see you, Noelle. Why were you late?"

"Noelle had a busy night, Mistress Gray. I...I should not say more than that," she said, hastily resuming the scrubbing of the window.

Freddie bit her lower lip. She figured that meant it had something to do with Snape. She'd always assumed Noelle worked primarily for Snape, she hadn't known the house elf cleaned the Slytherin dormitory too. She wondered what Snape had had Noelle doing all night. She wondered if he were okay then berated herself for even thinking it. She didn't want to wonder if he were okay. He obviously didn't care if she was.

She exhaled slowly and sat back down on the edge of the bed. Ziggy let out a soft mew and crawled into her lap, as if he could sense her sad feelings. He butted her hand with his soft head and she began to pet him with a watery smile, feeling the tears well in her eyes again. She quickly wiped them away with her free hand.

"Can Noelle brings you some tea, Mistress Gray?" the house elf asked and Freddie quickly looked away, her cheeks warm. She didn't want to be caught crying in front of the house elf.

"Sure. That would be great," she said, her throat feeling tight. She swallowed heavily.

"What blend would you like, Miss?"

She was silent a moment, thinking of Snape and all his different blends of tea.

"Can Noelle make a suggestion?" the elf asked.

"Of course."

"Blend #47 is what Master Snape usually drinks for breakfast."

"Mm. Yes. Yes, that'll be fine," she said quickly, trying to ignore the pain in her chest at hearing Snape's name.

"Very good, Miss."

"Wait," Freddie said quickly. "Can you bring it in some sort of thermos? I have to go outside to collect morning dew as the sun comes up."

"Certainly," Noelle said with a toothy grin then disappeared with a pop.

While she waited for Noelle to return Freddie got dressed. It was Saturday so she didn't have to worry about her school robes. The weather had turned cold as autumn wore on so she put on a pair of fleece-lined black leggings and a dark green wool sweater. She slipped on her favorite boots and was fastening her fur-lined cloak around her neck when Noelle returned with a thermos of tea.

"Here you go, Miss. Noelle added sugar to it for you. If you do not like, Noelle can get more sugar for you."

"I'm sure it's fine," Freddie said, unscrewing the lid of the thermos. She took a sip and let the flavor of lemon and hibiscus wash over her tongue. She was reminded of dozens of times she'd had breakfast with Snape and drank this exact blend of tea. Her heart ached and she made an effort to squash her feelings down.

"It's perfect," she assured Noelle who was watching her with an expression of concern. The elf's face broke into a toothy grin and she bowed low.

"Can Noelle get you anything else, miss? Bacon? Eggs? Ham?"

"Not right now, thank you. I have to go out and collect morning dew before the sun dries it up. I appreciate this," she said, lifting the mug. She got her bag that had all the supplies she would need, stowed her wand in the pocket of her cloak, and headed for the door. Ziggy jumped off the bed and bounded after her. He caught up to her on the stairs and leapt onto her shoulder, his claws retracted.

"Really?" she said, amused. "It's going to be cold out there, are you sure you want to come?"

The kitten let out a 'mrrrp' and bumped his head against hers.

"Alright then," she chuckled.

#

Freddie made her way up out of the dungeon and slipped out of the castle without encountering anyone. It was early for a Saturday and she doubted anyone would be up this early of their own free will. It's why she'd chosen to do it today. Less chance of having to interact with anyone human.

The sun was rising in the clear sky, painting it shades of pink and blue. The air was crisp and when Freddie opened the lid of her thermos to take a drink of tea it was steaming in the cold air. Ziggy leapt from her shoulder and tumbled onto the grass. He recovered quickly, shaking the dew from his fur, and streaked off across the lawn.

"Where are you going?" she said, amused. She fastened the lid of her thermos and stuffed it in her bag before chasing after him. There was plenty of dew and she wasn't in any particular hurry to collect it. It would be a while before the sun was high enough to dry it up. Ziggy stopped to bat his paw at a spear thistle growing wild on the grounds. Before Freddie could stop him he hit the plant with his paw and jumped back with a 'mrowp!' and his russet fur puffed out.

"Silly baby," she said, rushing over to him. "Let me see."

He was still puffed out and was growling at the thistle as Freddie knelt beside him in the grass.

"Come here Ziggy," she said, patting her lap. The kitten turned his back on the thistle, his fluffy tail held high, and limped over to Freddie. He let out a soft mew as she lifted his paw to inspect it. There were a few beads of blood on the pad of his paw and it had already begun to swell.

"It's alright, love. Mum can fix it," she crooned to him. She lifted him up and cradled him in her arms while she decided what to do. She needed Dittany. She could go back to her dormitory and get the Dittany from her trunk...or she could go find some in the forest. She remembered a clump that wasn't far into the forest."

"Surely that won't be too dangerous," she murmured. "It's just inside the trees. It'll be quicker than going back to the dorm and I won't risk waking anyone up."

She continued across the grounds towards the forest, carrying Ziggy like a baby. Every now and again he would mew piteously and lick his paw.

"Don't worry," she told him, her heart beating faster as she approached the dark forest. "You'll be good as new in just a moment."

She began to sweat slightly when the trees were just a few yards away, not from heat but from nerves. She couldn't help but recall the screaming she'd heard in her head at Azkaban. Daniel's voice in her head telling her to run. She took a deep, steadying breath, and Ziggy rubbed his head against her chest.

"It'll be fine," she said, more to herself than to him. She used her Occlumency to push the intrusive thoughts from her mind. "I have my wand...and you. You'll protect me, right Zig?"

He lifted his head and peered at her with his bright green eyes, seeming to look into her soul as he let out a strong meow. She felt instantly calmer and she smiled down at him. They had reached the trees.

The sun wasn't high enough to cast any light into the dense thick of the trees. Even on the brightest of days the sun didn't fully penetrate the Forbidden Forest. She shifted Ziggy to one arm and pulled her wand out of her pocket. She held it aloft, lit the tip, and crept into the forest.

It had been a while since she'd been in the forest collecting ingredients with Snape, but she knew there was a clump of dittany just a few yards in. She remained alert as she made her way through the trees, keeping her ears open for any sounds that might be a threat. She heard only birds.

She knew she wasn't supposed to be in the forest but there was a part of her that didn't care. She didn't care about Dumbledore's rules or her promise to Snape. If there is some horrible creature here, something that caused Daniel's disappearance, well then let it come. At least then I'll finally have some answers, she thought angrily.

She heard a twig snap and nearly jumped out of her skin. She whirled around with her wand to see it was only a deer. The creature stared at her a moment, then Ziggy let out a growl from her arms and the deer bounded away.

"Sheesh," she said with an uneasy laugh. "Let's get the dittany and get out of here."

She found the clump of dittany right where she'd knew it would be. She harvested some then quickly made her way back to the edge of the forest. When she was safely in the sunlight again she sat down near a tree and let Ziggy down. She tore several leaves off the herb and dropped the rest into her bag. She chewed up the dittany leaves, careful not to let it mix with the mandrake leaf folded in the corner of her mouth, then spit it into her hand. She sat cross-legged on the ground and pulled the kneazle into her lap. She lifted Ziggy's paw and pressed the poultice to his swollen pad.

She sat there for a moment holding the herb to his paw, her wand in her lap, alert to any sound from the forest at her back. Something orange floated past her. She started for her wand but it was only a flitterby moth. It let out playful humming sound as it bobbed around her. Ziggy twisted away from her suddenly and batted the flitterby. It hummed away and he chased after it, no longer limping. Freddie smiled and leaned back against the tree as she watched him playing.

A flash of something black caught her eye, not from the forest but coming across the grounds towards her from the castle. Her heart did a flip flop in her chest and she closed her eyes with a groan, thumping her head back against the tree. It was Snape.

She wished she could just disappear. Disapparate or turn herself invisible and just slip away. She didn't want to hear whatever he was going to say – or not say. He was either going to yell at her for being in the forest or he might just grab her and drag her back to the castle without saying anything. Given their recent interactions she thought the latter more likely. She thought about applying a Disillusionment Charm but knew it would be pointless. He'd clearly already seen her and he'd always been able to find her anyway.

As he got closer she could see the expression on his face. His mouth was set in a thin line, his fists clenched at his sides. He was clearly annoyed. She felt a surge of annoyance herself and she employed her Occlumency to clamp down on her emotions. Don't let him get to you, she thought. Or at least don't let him see it.

She stood as he approached, keeping a calm expression on her face though her heart was fluttering.

"What do you think you're doing, Miss Gray?" he asked, a steely edge to his voice.

"I came out to collect dew for the Animagus potion...Professor," she said tightly. "I have to collect it today so that I can store it. It can't be touched by sunlight or human hands for 7 days."

"I see," he said, crossing his arms. "And you thought you would collect it in the Forbidden Forest? Put yourself in unnecessary danger, just to spite me?"

"No!" she said, feeling a rush of anger. She tried to force it down. "Ziggy hurt his paw on a thistle and I needed dittany. I barely went into the forest. And what do you care anyway?"

His black eyes glittered coldly and they both looked away. Ziggy had abandoned his chase of the flitterby moth and was bounding back towards them. When he reached them he wound himself around Freddie's ankles then sat at her feet regarding Snape with his bright eyes.

"He does not look injured," Snape said coolly.

"Well he wouldn't, would he? I healed him with the dittany," she shot back.

For a moment he looked as if he would like to shout at her, then his expression cleared.

"Return to the castle," he said.

"No," she said, crossing his arms stubbornly over her chest. "I haven't done what I came out here to do. There's no rule that says I can't be out on the grounds this early in the morning."

"But there is a rule about going into the Forbidden Forest and I do not trust you not to return to the forest as soon as my back is turned."

He doesn't trust me, she thought. The words stung but they also pissed her off.

"I do not want to come back out here and drag you out of the woods," he continued.

"Well nobody asked you to in the first place!" she snapped, feeling her face flush with anger. "I'm assuming you still have that damned trace spell on me or else you wouldn't have known I was out here. Take it off!"

"No," he said coldly. "And you're wrong – Dumbledore asked me to."

"I don't give a damn what Dumbledore wants! Or you. Clearly you're done with me so just leave me alone." She felt the burning behind her eyes and she knew if she didn't leave she would start crying and she'd never forgive herself. "I can't wait until I graduate and I can get out of here and then you'll never have to see me again!"

She turned away from him them and marched away from him, away from the Forbidden Forest. Ziggy was close on her heels and Freddie didn't stop until she reached the stone circle near the greenhouses. She glanced over her shoulder and saw the dark figure that was Snape had not moved from where she'd left him. She jerked her head away and glared at the stone monolith in front of her until the tears in her eyes disappeared.

She took some steadying breaths then got out the supplies she needed from her bag. Ziggy explored the sundial garden, sharpening his claws on one of the stones, while Freddie collected morning dew. It took a while to fill the vial she carried with her and when she was done the sun was higher in the sky. She wrapped the vial of dew in a cloth and put it in her bag. She'd hide it under her bed later so it was sure not be disturbed. She felt warm in the sunlight though the air was still cold. She rolled up the sleeves of her wool sweater and leaned back against one of the monoliths. The cool stone felt good on her back.

She glanced back across the grounds and saw that Snape was still there at the edge of the forest, his back against the tree she had left.

"What is he doing?" she muttered, looking down at Ziggy. He was stalking a beetle in the grass but he stopped to look up at her with an inquisitive meow. "Is he watching us?"

The kneazle quickly darted around the stone then returned. He let out a clear meow which she took to mean 'yes'.

"Bastard," she said darkly and started off across the grounds.

She wasn't sure where she was going at first. She wasn't going back to the castle and she wasn't going to where Snape stood at the edge of the forest. When she spotted the gate she quickly decided that she would go to Hogsmeade. Anything to get away from the castle and away from him. She glanced over her shoulder slyly and saw that he was following her. Annoyed, she walked faster and Ziggy leapt onto her shoulder. She could feel the prickling at the edge of her consciousness that meant Snape was trying to enter her mind but he'd taught her well. Her Occlumency was impenetrable.

She was almost to the gate when he called out to her.

"Where do you think you're going?" he demanded, trying to close the distance between them but she kept walking.

"Hogsmeade," she answered without looking back.

"It's too early. The shops aren't even open."

"I don't care," she retorted.

"Stop," he said forcefully and in such a way that her feet stopped moving of their own accord. She hadn't planned to listen to him and she had a brief moment to consider if he'd used a nonverbal spell on her before he caught up with her.

"You're causing a scene," he said irritably, his face pink from the cold. "Making me shout and run after you."

"I'm not making you do anything," she sneered. "I told you to leave me alone not stand there watching me collect dew. And I certainly didn't make you follow me."

"Students aren't permitted to leave the grounds this early alone," he said.

"I don't think that's true," she said testily. "I've never heard that rule. And what are you going to do about it anyway? Give me detention? I don't think so." She crossed her arms and glared at him defiantly. "You can't even stand to be in the same room with me."

"That's not-" he took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. She took the opportunity to turn away from him and continued marching towards the gate. Let him follow her, let him give her detention, she didn't care. She didn't think he would follow her all the way to Hogsmeade, yelling and 'causing a scene'.

"Stop," he said again but this time she willed herself onward. She passed through the gate and started up the path to the village. She heard his footsteps on the path behind her, felt his Legilimency tearing at the edge of her consciousness. Frustrated and not really thinking about, she turned on her heel – and Disapparated.