She appeared in the dark sitting room of Spinner's End flushed and out of breath. It had been the first place she thought of and she was certain he wouldn't follow her here. He wouldn't want to be alone with her. He wouldn't want to have a conversation with her. He'd been avoiding her for weeks, he wasn't going to follow her here now.

Ziggy leapt of her shoulder and began to explore the dusty room, his bushy tail held high. She hadn't tried Disapparating with him since he was a baby – since the last time they'd come here – and she was pleased he didn't seem to be affected by the experience. With a flick of her wand she lit a fire in the fireplace to see by and to try to get warm.

She sank into the armchair and rubbed her temples, trying to think of what to do next. For a brief moment she considered not going back, ever. Who said she had to graduate? She still had money in Gringotts, she could leave. She could get a job somewhere. She didn't even have to stay in London. It was a tempting thought. She'd been miserable at Hogwarts the last few weeks. It would be easy to leave...

There was a pop and Snape appeared next to the fireplace. Ziggy let out a surprised hiss and Freddie leapt to her feet.

"Stop following me! Merlin's beard, I should've just Disapparated to Hogsmeade."

"You're in my house," he said, eyes narrowed.

They stood there, glaring at each other, neither speaking for several moments. She could feel his consciousness still teetering on the edge of her own. He was trying to get in her head. Then Freddie did something she had never done – she dropped her guard and used her Legilimency on him, quickly following his stream of consciousness back into his own mind.

For a moment he was surprised and their minds were open to each other in a way that had been so common for them just a few months ago. It took him a minute to shut it down, to shut her out, but a minute was all she needed. She felt it. His guilt, his confusion, his anger, his love – yes, love for her, though he was loathe to name it that, loathe to feel it, felt like it was a betrayal of Lily-

And she found herself pinned against a bookcase with his arm between them, pressing into her sternum to keep her in place.

"Don't ever do that again!" he snarled, his face livid.

Ziggy was hissing, his fur puffed out as he tried to get between them. Freddie didn't even think about going for her wand which was in her pocket. She was too surprised by what she'd just seen and felt in his mind. Then Ziggy sank his teeth into Snape's ankle and he released her with a swear. Freddie quickly scooped up the kneazle and moved away from him, quickly darting to the other side of the room, afraid he would hurt Ziggy – or her.

"I am not going to hurt you," he said ruefully, limping over to the couch. He raised his pants leg to inspect the bite on his ankle. "It was never my intention for you to be hurt by our...dalliance. It was meant to be physical and nothing more. It never should have happened and it was my fault for thinking it could work, not considering that I was toying with your...emotions."

He said the last word bitterly. Freddie let Ziggy down gently. His fur was still puffed out and he regarded Snape suspiciously as Freddie dug in her bag for the rest of the dittany she'd harvested earlier. She crossed the room, her heart still pounding madly, and handed the herb to Snape. Finally she found her voice.

"It was working just fine until after the tunnel incident. I didn't mean-" she paused for a beat, because that wasn't true. She had meant it. "It just slipped out. You made it clear from the beginning what this was and I never expected you to return my feelings...but you do, don't you?"

"No," he said immediately. He chewed the dittany a moment and pressed it to the wound on his leg. "You are wrong."

"You can't lie to me. I know what you felt, I was just in your mind. You love me."

"You are mistaken," he said, an edge of bitterness to his voice.

"I don't think so," she said softly. She sat on the couch and Ziggy immediately jumped into her lap, still regarding Snape with his bright green eyes. "You care about me...and that scares the hell out of you, doesn't it?"

He said nothing but focused on holding the dittany against his leg, long past the time it would have taken to heal the wound. Freddie's heart was pounding and she didn't know what to say. Knowing how he felt about her...it still stung that he had shut her out over the last few weeks, but she was starting to understand. But what could she say to him now to make it okay?

Ziggy slipped from her lap then and crossed the couch to sniff Snape curiously. He didn't move, still holding the chewed up leaf against his ankle, until Ziggy slipped underneath his arm. The kneazle sat in Snape's lap and even from the other end of the couch Freddie could hear him purring.

"He's gotten bigger," Snape said, seeming surprised to find himself petting Ziggy.

"Yeah, that's what happens," she said with a weak chuckle. "He's started eating some solid food. A wet food blend Hagrid got for me in Diagon Alley."

"Hmm," he said, still absently petting him. "He has an unusual coloring. I've never seen that in a cat before. Kneazle or otherwise."

"Yeah..."

She wasn't sure what to say, whether to just let him make small talk or to try and force the issue. At least he was talking to her, not yelling or avoiding her. Avoiding the issue maybe but at least he wasn't running away.

Their eyes met and he held her gaze for several moments. All trace of anger was gone from his face. His eyes seemed warm though his expression was a little guarded.

"I don't expect anything from you," she said quietly and he looked away. "I never have. But please...stop shutting me out. Stop avoiding me."

"If we continue...you will only end up getting hurt," he said. "I do not wish to hurt you."

"I'm stronger than you think," she murmured, inching closer to him. "We don't have to continue...but you want to, don't you?"

"...Yes," he said, his voice coming out a hoarse whisper. "I never wanted to stop. But it seemed...the safest course of action."

She was close enough now to pet the kneazle that remained in his lap. Ziggy's purr grew even louder. Then, cautiously, Freddie let her hand come to rest on Snape's hand. She heard him inhale sharply, then he took his hand in hers. He brought it to his lips and brushed a kiss across her knuckles, sending a rush of fire through her that settled in her lower abdomen.

"I'm sorry," he murmured against her hand.

He let go of her hand but not before giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"We should return," he said after a moment, getting to his feet and shaking the leg of his trousers down over his ankle, which was healed to a faint pink scar. "I believe Hagrid saw me leave, he may have seen you as well."

"I understand," she said softly and stood as well. She wondered if he were telling the truth, if Hagrid had really seen them, or if he was just eager to be away from her now. Snape extinguished the fire in the hearth with a flick of his wand. Ziggy jumped onto Freddie's shoulder then the three of them Disapparated.

They appeared just outside the gate of Hogwarts and Ziggy jumped down onto the path. Freddie expected Snape to leave them, to stride off towards the castle, but he didn't. He walked beside her slowly through the gates.

"How much progress have you made in your Animagus process?" he asked casually as they walked together.

"I'm on the third week," she said. "Next Saturday I'll finally be able to spit this leaf out and brew the potion with it. Then I have to wait until a lightning storm to finish it."

"Have you gotten everything you need for the potion?"

"No," she said, shaking her head. "I still have to find a chrysalis of a death's head moth. The Apothecary in Hogsmeade doesn't sell them. I guess they aren't used in potions all that often."

"They're not," he agreed. "But I may be able to help you find one."

"Really? You know a shop that sells them?"

"No, but Acherontia atropos lay their eggs on the leaves of host plants, most commonly potato or tomato plants. When they are ready to begin their metamorphosis they return to the same host plants and bury themselves in the dirt beneath the plant. I suspect Hagrid would not object to our searching for one in his vegetable garden."

"Brilliant," she said and they changed direction to head towards Hagrid's hut.

The bushy-haired groundskeeper was in his garden when they arrived, tending to a patch of massive pumpkins. Ziggy bounded through the garden to greet Hagrid, rubbing his head along the giant's tree trunk sized legs.

"Well hello Ziggy," Hagrid said warmly. "It's good ter see ye' too."

"Good morning, Hagrid," Freddie said, stepping over the boundary of the pumpkin patch.

"Mornin' Freddie, Professor Snape. Wha' brings the two o' ou' here?"

"Hagrid," Snape acknowledged with an incline of his head. "We are looking for the chrysalis of a Death's Head Hawk moth. Miss Gray needs it for a potion and the Apothecary doesn't have any in stock. I wondered if we might take a look in your garden. They usually bury themselves beneath potato plants."

" 'Course ye can," Hagrid said amiably. Ziggy was climbing up the side of one of the large pumpkins, his little claws digging into the orange flesh of the vegetable. "Watch yer claws, li'l one. These are for the Halloween feast nex' week." He helped Ziggy up the side of the pumpkin with one of his giant hands. Ziggy sat on top of the pumpkin, curled his bushy tail around his body, and meowed happily.

"Tall boy," Freddie crooned, reaching up to scratch the kneazle's ears.

"The potatoes are o'er there," Hagrid said, gesturing to a far corner of the garden behind his house. "Don' worry abou' messin' em up. They're ou' o' season now, ye can pull em up if ye need to. I'll use 'em for compost."

"Thanks, Hagrid," Freddie said, giving Ziggy a final scratch before turning towards the potatoes.

"No problem. I'd help yer but I've got to tend ter my pumpkins. They're fer the Halloween feast on Saturday. They're my biggest yet," he said, his chest puffed up proudly. Freddie figured the pumpkins weren't all natural and he'd probably used a growing charm or a Swelling Solution on them. Hagrid wasn't really supposed to do magic – he'd been expelled from Hogwarts as a boy – but a lot of people knew he kept the snapped pieces of his wand inside the handle of tattered pink umbrella.

"We can handle it," Snape assured him. "Come along, Winifred."

Freddie's heart skipped a beat in her chest and she rushed to follow him. It was the first time he'd called her 'Winifred' in weeks. She hadn't realized how much she'd missed it.

"Are you really going to help?" she asked curiously as they reached the plants.

"I said I would," he answered smoothly. "Here-" He pulled out his wand and with a flick of his wrist two black cushions appeared on the ground. He knelt on one and began searching beneath the plants.

"Look for any plant leaves that have been chewed on," he said as she knelt on the pillow beside him. "The caterpillars gorge themselves before digging into the earth to form their chrysalis."

"Got it," she said with a nod.

They spent the next half hour searching through the dirt, scooting their pillows along the edge of the garden as they inspected each plant thoroughly.. They didn't talk much but Freddie felt happy. Or at least content. It was the first time they'd spent together outside of the classroom since the tunnel incident. He no longer seemed angry and he wasn't avoiding her. It seemed like they were okay...at least she hoped they were. He certainly didn't have to stay and help her. He was choosing to.

Ziggy left the pumpkin patch when Hagrid went into his hut. He crawled beneath the potato plants, stalking the few bugs that were moving around there. He dug in the dirt, ate a worm, and sneezed when he got dirt in his nose. Freddie giggled at him and tried to brush the dirt from his face but her hands were dirty from digging too. He batted her hand away with his paw, his claws retracted, then took off back beneath the plants.

"Cutie pie," she said fondly as his tail disappeared. Snape was looking at her and a smile twitched at the corner of his lips.

After a few more minutes of digging around in the garden, Freddie felt her hand close around something that was more solid than dirt.

"I found something," she said, pulling it out and brushing the dirt off of it. It was a green-ish silky cocoon, about 6cm long. "It's a chrysalis."

Snape stood up and walked around the garden to see. He extended one dirt-covered hand and helped her to her feet. She smiled and showed him what she'd found.

"It's the wrong kind of chrysalis," he said after he examined it.

"Aw man. Are you sure?"

"Yes, unfortunately. This is a potato looper, a sort of inchworm. It's green and you see the spot at the top? That's where it was attached to a leaf originally. It must have fallen off and gotten buried."

"Damn," she swore and dropped it back into the dirt. Ziggy came bounding out from under the plants and batted the cocoon with his paw.

"What's he got in his mouth?" Snape said, watching the kitten play.

"It looks like a piece of poop," Freddie said, wrinkling her nose. She squatted down and snapped her fingers to get Ziggy's attention. His ears flicked towards her but he seemed loathe to leave his newfound toy. "Ziggy, come. Come here Zigzag. Drop it. Zygmunt Gray, come here."

Ziggy trotted over and deposited the item into her hand. Freddie recoiled a moment before she realized it wasn't poop.

"Is this it?" she asked excitedly, jumping up to show Snape. He blew the dirt off the cocoon in her hand and his warm breath on her skin sent a shiver through her.

"I think..." he took the cocoon and held it up to the light. "Yes. Yes, this is a Death's Head Hawk Moth chrysalis."

"Alright!" she whooped and grinned down at Ziggy. "Way to go! What a smart boy you are!"

Ziggy purred loudly, headbutted her leg gently, then pounced on the other cocoon left on the ground.

"Well done," Snape said approvingly. "That's the last item you need?"

"Yep."

"Excellent. If you'd like to go get cleaned up, we could have tea in my office?"

There was an almost hopeful tone to his voice, though his face remained passive. She couldn't tell if he was hopeful she'd say yes or that she'd say no.

"Sure," she said, watching his face for any change in expression. He didn't seem upset. "I'll get cleaned up, put my dew and chrysalis in a safe place, then I'll meet you in your office."

"Very well," he said with a nod.

They headed back towards the castle together, walking at a leisurely pace so that Ziggy was able to keep up. When they reached the dungeons Snape continued on towards his office while Freddie ducked into the nearest bathroom.

"See you in a bit," she said to Snape, holding the door open for Ziggy to trot in.

The bathroom was empty and Ziggy leapt onto the side of the sink as Freddie turned the water on. She washed the dirt from her hands and from under her nails. Ziggy batted at the stream of water with his paw then slipped and fell into the sink with a yowl.

"Uh-oh," she said, quickly turning off the water. "Are you okay?"

Ziggy clambered up the side of the sink, shook himself vigorously, then jumped down. He sat on the floor and began to groom himself.

"Come on," she said, picking him up. "You can do that after I put this stuff away. I want to hurry, before he changes his mind."

She hurried down the corridor to the Common Room which was full of students milling around, playing games, doing homework, or just chatting. Her foul mood of the last few weeks meant that no one tried to talk to her as she slipped through the crowded room to the dormitory. She put Ziggy on the bed and he proceeded to groom himself while she got the supplies from her bag. She put the wrapped up vial of morning dew underneath her mattress where it would be safe from sunlight and human touch until the next full moon. She put the Death's Head moth chrysalis into her potions kit. While it was open she dabbed some honeysuckle essence on her wrists and neck.

She used a spell to clean the dirt off her boots, cloak and pants. She exchanged her oversized wool sweater for a form-fitting long sleeved gray v-neck shirt. She went to the bathroom off the dorm and checked her reflection in the mirror there. There was a smudge of dirt on her nose that she quickly washed off. Her black hair was lanky and she knew she hadn't washed it in a while. She'd been too depressed to worry much about her appearance. She thought about taking a quick shower to wash her hair but didn't want to waste time. She used Daniel's 'dry shampoo' spell and that helped some. She frowned at her reflection then pulled it back into a ponytail.

She went back to her bed and pulled her cloak on. She decided to leave her bag behind, she saw no point in lugging the extra weight around.

"You coming?" she asked Ziggy, who was washing his face with one paw. He meowed and jumped off the bed to follow her.

She left the Common Room and went quickly down the hall towards Snape's office. Ziggy leapt onto her shoulder so he wouldn't have to struggle to keep up. When she reached his office she paused in front of the door. She took a breath then knocked, half expecting him not to answer. She was sure he would change his mind.

"Come in, Miss Gray," his voice called from inside.

She let out the breath and smiled as she pushed the door open. He was sitting at his desk with a glowing pot of tea on the desk in front of him.

"Hey," she said. She closed the door behind herself and crossed the room to sit in her usual chair.

"Hey," Snape repeated and flashed a quick, somewhat uneasy smile. "Tea?"

"Yes please."

Ziggy crawled from her shoulder to her lap, then jumped into the empty chair next to her. He settled in to continue his grooming. Snape poured her tea then pushed the glass towards her across the desk. She accepted it with a nod of thanks. The steam coming from the cup warmed her face and she took a deep breath. It smelled citrusy. She took a sip and weighed the flavor on her tongue.

"Mmm. Lemon and peppermint?" she asked.

"With a touch of sage," he confirmed. "It's my latest concoction."

"What number is it?" she asked curiously. "Noelle brought me Brew 47 this morning before I went outside."

"55. Noelle visited you?"

"Not exactly. She was cleaning in the dorm when I woke up. She said she's usually done before students wake up but that she had a late night."

"Mm. I was out late. I missed dinner and Noelle was kind enough to make me something when I returned."

"Where were you?" she asked before she could stop herself. He was silent a moment, drinking his tea, and she thought he wouldn't answer.

"I was visiting Lucius," he said finally. She felt a warm blush spread across her face as she remembered their dinner at Malfoy Manor over the summer – and their subsequent activities in the garden afterwards.

"Ah. And how is Mr Malfoy?" she asked casually.

"Fine," he said, smirking slightly. He was thinking the same thing she was no doubt. "He acquired a rare potion ingredient and thought I might be interested in purchasing in it."

"Did you? What is it?" she asked, intrigued. He opened a desk drawer and Freddie leaned forward in her chair to see as he produced a small vial. It was filled with a dark green liquid, almost black in appearance. She shook the bottle gently, testing the viscosity of it.

"Acromantula venom?" she guessed, placing it back on the desk.

"Yes."

"It must have cost a fortune," she said with an impressed whistle. "Where did Malfoy get it?"

"I don't know how he obtained it, but he offered me a discount if I used part of it to brew a Bloodroot Poison for him."

"What does he want with a Bloodroot Poison?"

"He claims he does not intend to use it, just to keep it as a 'conversation starter'," he said, setting aside his empty tea cup and standing up. "I did not press the matter. If he intends to use it, I'm not sure I want to know about it."

"Are you going to brew it?" she asked as he came around the desk.

"Yes. Would you like to help? It would be good experience for you."

"Of course! You never have to ask."

She quickly finished her tea.

"Come on then," Snape said, giving her ponytail a playful tug. "We have work to do."