(-) "Sesshoumaru" – 'The Path to Destiny' (-)
(- (- ! -) -)
(- ! -)
(- ! -)
Chapter 104 : Those Things that Build Us
Sesshoumaru watched in silence, standing to a side, as the panther cub devoured the carcass of the snake demon with voracious appetite. The still weary feline locked gazes with himas it continued to feast, as though wondering perhaps if he would attack.
Turning away from sight of their kill, Sesshoumaru ripped away his tattered haori, leaving his upper body bare, and revealing the injury on shoulder. He watched with fascination at the wound that was slowly but surely healing, right before his eyes. His mother had always been careful to not allow him to be injured as he usually took a long time to heal. Now, his body was finally not only improving on its regenerative speed, but it was also breaking down any poison that entered it. He had always been told that his father's side of the clan were potent poison users in the highest grade.
Something else caught his attention. Where his body was lean and, he would have to admit begrudgingly, somewhat skinny, now he was beginning to see firm and taught muscle development. Especially around his thighs, biceps, forearms, and pectoral muscles. His body had initiated a process of breaking down and redeveloping it into something stronger. Something that could keep up with his increasing power and Youki.
He had lost all track of time under the forest of eternal darkness and he was not sure how long he'd been here but he was growing in more ways than one. Yes, his Youki was increasing too. Enough for him to feel and sense its potency from compared to before.
Wanting to test this out further, he slowly began an attempt to push his Youki beyond his body.
The Panther cub's hair stood on end and it looked up from its meal. It uttered a low, cautious growl, as it lowered its body and prepared to defend itself.
Sesshoumaru began to glow in a sheen of light blue and then tendrils of Youki began to escape his body.
The panther relaxed, somewhat, when it realized that Sesshoumaru was not intending to attack. He was, experimenting?
The winds began to pick up around Sesshoumaru, lifting his soft white strands of hair towards the sky. The sparks of blue began to combine and thin strands of electric blue wisps began to revolve around his lithe body.
~)~~
Kikyo and the Inu-Tachi, in their phantom form, watched silently as Sesshoumaru's body began to glow and radiate blue Youki more intensely than they had seen so far from what Shirinousai had shown them.
They were in the midst of witnessing the evolution of the one who would be the greatly feared future Lord of the West. They were also bearing witness to the emotional layers being stripped away one by one, only to be replaced by a calculating and stoic nature.
As the Youki increased, Kikyo, Kagome and Miroku, the ones who were most sensitive to unholy energy, all felt something else. None of them could fathom this eerie feeling or begin to explain what was causing an inexplicable but real feeling of fear that began to grow within them.
This was suddenly not just about the growth of Sesshoumaru. There was something else. He was more. More than what they were seeing or what they knew.
There was a flash of darkness that the three of them witnessed at the same time. A large red eye suddenly appeared behind Sesshoumaru and then disappeared in the blink of an eye.
Startled, Kagome looked at both Miroku and Kikyo in turn, wondering if she had just imagined that. From the serious look painted on their faces, she knew that they had seen it too. It had been there only briefly, but in those moments, Kagome had felt like she was standing before a great fire that was burning so hot that the air itself was on fire. Any oxygen was instantly consumed making her feel like she would lose consciousness.
Death. It was the feeling of facing down death, if there was such a thing.
Kikyo's own mind was spinning with thoughts on what she had just seen and felt. Was there something else in that forest that had... infected or possessed Sesshoumaru? It had appeared out of nowhere. She knew it was already connected to him, but she could not fathom how much or how. It was a part of him, and yet it was not. Was this part of the reason that he would become a so-called harbinger of death?
One thing she did know, was that while Kagome and the monk seemed visibly disturbed by the apparition, she was not afraid. She did feel fear, in that it was something monstrous, yet she was not afraid of it. Why? Was it her powers of Purification that took away her need to be afraid? Was it strong enough to oppose that fearsome apparition?
~~(~
This was certainly unexpected, Sesshoumaru thought, sometime later. He realized however that he had let it happen. The panter was following him at a comfortable distance. And for his part, Sesshoumaru had done nothing to prevent this. Was it because he was so used to being surrounded by demons and his mother all the time that he would now even go so far as to allow a cat to serve as company?
Ah, he preferred not to think about it. If anything, they were both trying to survive in this place. If sticking together increased their chances of staying alive, then so be it. He would do whatever he needed to do in order to get back to his mother.
'Haha-ue, please be alright,' the young Prince of the West wished. 'I'm coming.'
As time passed uncertainly in the Screaming Forest, the cat and the dog brought down prey and enemy together. Sesshoumaru was finding out that he needed to eat less and less. It was as if his body was generating energy of itself. Soon he may not even have to eat at all, just like his sire.
The panther on the other hand would consume every enemy they brought down, becoming stronger after every meal, feeding on their power.
It was right after yet another life-or-death battle and when they were moving ahead again, that the panther suddenly froze mid-step from where it had been walking beside him.
The prince quirked an eyebrow, wondering if the panther had sensed an enemy that he had not or could not. He watched quietly as the panther slouched. Its ears and tails dropped and its head lowered.
It slowly began walking in the direction of a large clearing. Sesshoumaru had no reason to follow the cat if it wanted to part ways. They had never actually agreed on travelling together after all. It had just been convenient. And safer. But something in the cat's behaviour pressed Sesshoumaru to follow behind his would-be partner.
As he arrived at the clearing, he followed the gaze of the cat to a cave swallowed in darkness.
The panther mewled softly, hesitantly. In response, several yellow eyes appeared in the darkness, followed by one set of much, much larger ones.
Not good, Sesshoumaru thought, realizing there were multiple demons and that they had superior abilities to cloak their youki. These were hunters.
Why had the cat let them into this predicament?
Sesshoumaru took a step back to retreat, trying to avoid a needless fight, one that they probably might not win based on the numbers they were potentially facing.
He stopped however when a growl similar to the panther came from the shadowy place of eyes.
Slowly, they began to step into the pale light, and he realized that these too were panthers.
His partner's tail began to sway in excitement.
So, this was his family. The panther had been lost too. Separated from his parent and siblings, Sesshoumaru realized. He supposed that meant their journey together was over and he was alone again.
Lost in his thoughts, Sesshoumaru failed to realize the tone in the growl from the other panthers, who were all about twice the size of his partner, with beige fur compared to his black.
It was only when his partner lowered his head further, as if in submission, that Sesshoumaru began to think that something was not right.
He stood back as he watched his partner's brethren surround him, hissing at him.
Sesshoumaru was shocked when they then suddenly attacked his partner, without warning. He crouched low, thinking that he would be targeted too, but he soon found that his partner was their only source of interest, or was it scorn?
They swiped at him and pushed him to the ground repeatedly. They were... bullying him.
Why?
He raised his head and saw a hulking panther come out of the shadows and realized immediately that it was the mother of these cubs. Good, now his partner would be saved. Maybe the separation clouded their animal instincts causing them to see him as an outsider. But surely the mother would recognize her pup.
Sesshoumaru watched as his partner struggled to get on its feet and duck under another swipe of claws and dart towards his mother.
A powerful growl filled the air then, sending Sesshoumaru's hair flying back behind him. The black panther froze in fear.
Sesshoumaru's eye narrowed. Suddenly understanding came upon him in a way that he wished it had not.
The mother was telling the smallest of her pups, the black panther, to stay away. As in, she did not want him.
His parner was the runt of the litter. Small and weak, compared to his brothers and the only one with black fur among them all.
Sesshoumaru's fists balled. His partner had not been lost. Not at all. His partner had been driven away, by his brethren, and even his mother.
Fuelled by their mother's unwillingness to accept the weakest, black sheep of the family, the other panthers began to attack his partner with more vigour. They did not want such a weakling as part of their pack.
Something stung in Sesshoumaru's chest. He was reminded of himself. Reminder of the gossip and the talk in shadows of the castle of how weak he was and how his mother had produced a failure and not an heir. The wicked things they said about his mother because of him. And the truth that he indeed, was weak. So weak, that he could not even do anything for his mother when she was attacked that day.
Though emotion raged within him for the first time in a while, other than the emotion of constantly missing his mother, he stood still. He wanted to see what his partner would do. He knew his partner was not as weak as these cubs thought. Would he fight back? Was there a point to fighting back?
Bleeding and still mewling, as if pleading with his brethren and his mother to not reject him, the panther continued to bow its head in a submissive state, seemingly hoping that his family would let him back in.
And when his mother lost interest and turned away from the sight of the beating, to disappear back into the shadows, Sesshoumaru thought he saw the panther, give up, on being. Was it going to allow its brethren to kill it?
When one of the cubs swiped at his partners face, drawing blood, that was when the black panther finally reacted. But it still did not attack.
It darted this way and that, injured and bleeding, and ran past Sesshoumaru, in the direction they had come, back into the thickness of the dark forest.
The other cubs did not bother to chase him. They lost interest. They gave Sesshoumaru a sideways glance and then began to follow their mother.
Sesshoumaru smelled blood. His blood. He looked down at his palms and realized that he had fisted his palms so tightly that his claws had pierced his skin. Paying it no attention, he looked back up at the retreating figures of his partner's family; at the retreating figure of his mother, that did not want him.
So, there was this kind of family too. A family that would throw you away because you were weak. Would not care for you. Did not care if you suffered or not. Did not care if you were to live or die.
There was this kind of family too.
The thought kept repeating in his mind. Sesshoumaru was filled with disgust, for himself and the world. So, there were those who would throw away their kin, if they failed to serve a purpose, or failed to be worthy. Even a mother her offspring.
Was this the fate of all the young who were weak? Were they going to be left to fend for themselves? To be ignored and driven away?
It did not seem, fair. Nobody wanted to be born as less than their peers, physically, mentally or in any other way. But to be ostracized for it? That was just not fair.
And yet, it was happening, in front of him, and in all those places that he cannot see.
Such was the way of the world?
Wordlessly, Sesshoumaru turned on his heel, and began to follow the trail of blood left by the bleeding black panther.
He eventually found his partner nursing its wounds. It looked back at him when he made his presence known. Again, their eyes locked, before the panther turned away to look over its wounds again.
Sesshoumaru realized that this was not the first time this had happened to the panther. Those eyes that had stared at him had told him that the cub was used to this treatment from its family. And yet, it still tried to go back to them!? Because they were family? Should it not be angry? Should it not be frustrated?
And in that moment, the future Lord of the West, realized that the cub was a much stronger being than he. He did not for a moment believe that it was because the cat was of less intelligence. No. The cat chose not to allow its situation to define it.
He remembered the times that they had fought together, and seen the desperation in the cat's eyes to survive. And yet, unlike him, who was trying to survive to get back to his mother, this panther had no one waiting for him. It was fighting to survive to define its own existence.
How powerful, Sesshoumaru realized, in secret admiration.
What would he have done, if his mother had not wanted him because he was weak? He did not know. He realized he could not even imagine the concept. He would have been truly lost. His life may have been much, much shorter.
When the panther began moving forward again, with a new limp, Sesshoumaru silently followed.
There are those who bear witness to cruelty and it resonates with them. Of them there are those who do their best to ignore it and then there are those who carry it with them like an invisible scar in their minds. These scars last a lifetime, and pop up at the most unexpected times, and if fate should so decide, it would be for the benefit of others.
On this day he realized that just as being wanted can define one's life, not being wanted can do the same. But it took a special kind, to defy that fate and pave a path to one's own realization of self, defined by their own actions and their choices.
Orphans were not just those without parents. Anyone that was not wanted, was an orphan.
What a cruel fate that life was.
~(~~
The Screaming Forest saw then, as time flowed, a cat and dog, struggle to stay alive within its darkness. They fought tooth and nail to bring down all things that would try to consume them, body and mind. The forest assaulted them, and in turn, sharpened them like blades. The longer they survived, the sharper they became, and the more they could cut through. They were being forged in the fire of trials.
Shirinousai showed Kikyo and the others glimpses of those moments that robbed Sesshoumaru of his heart, piece by piece. They began to understand that in that place, in that dark and unforgiving place, things like mercy, hesitation, kindness and weak wills were all recipes that would get one killed. Clarity bloomed in them, as they began to see the young demon prince willingly let go of the innocence in him in order to be able to get back to his mother. He was killing himself, in spirit, so that his body could survive and return to her embrace. He was becoming hollow. Cold. He was becoming a demon.
Inuyasha's mouth was set in a firm frown as he realized that he could no longer see Sesshoumaru as simply what he knew of him before all this. There was more to him, or at least, there had been.
In the real world, in the present time, Inuyasha's claws dug into his fist with enough pressure to cause it to bleed even as he was being carried within Shirinousai's third eye. The half dog demon could not help but admit that Sesshoumaru had been a kinder and gentler demon than even he at that age.
But this was still not the cold Sesshoumaru that he knew. There was still some emotion left inside him. How then...?
And as if in answer to the question they had all been wondering, Shirinousai took them to the last few visions.
~~(~
Sesshoumaru stared at the black cat that had accompanied him thus far, as it sat before him, bathed in the light that was coming through beyond the edge of the forest. Finally. Finally, he had reached a border of the forest. He could finally reunite with his mother. He could finally escape this hell.
The cat stared at him silently. It was time to part, they knew. But its purpose was not to escape.
In silent understanding, they both turned away from each other, and began walking away. Sesshoumaru, back to his family, and the panther, back into the Screaming Forest where its fate lay in wait.
~~(~
The Inu-tachi and Kikyo were treated to a vision of the Lord of the West, Sesshoumaru's father, standing still in silence.
Kagome's eyes widened when she realized where exactly they were. Kikyo's fist balled in frustration.
The Lord of the West's eyes widened when he felt a wave of Youki slowly envelope him and everything around him.
Sesshoumaru? He dared not hope, lest he be wrong.
This demonic power was unlike what he knew of his son. And yet, he could not deny recognizing this aura.
"My Lord! My Lord!" he heard his vassals scream. "He is back! The prince has returned!"
The Lord the West whipped around, elated, and was about to go meet his son, when something stopped him.
His son's aura. It bore signs of aggression. This was killing intent. He did not think his son capable of ever producing actual demonic killing intent.
The gates swung open from the force of Sesshoumaru's aura alone.
But what he saw walking through them, almost made the powerful dog demon take a step back.
Gone was the frail and innocent pup that his mate coddled. In his place, was a demon covered in mere scraps of clothing, hair having grown almost up to the back of his knees, and he was taller, muscular and so much more powerful. Inexplicably powerful. The moon had shrunk to a crescent shape on his forehead –mirroring his own, and his magenta stripes were darker. The bright and warm amber of his eyes were gone, and in their place were sharp and intimidating suns.
This was a true demon.
Unable to withstand the demonic pressure that his son was emitting, his vassals hastily took refuge wherever they could, some collapsing to their knees as they were overpowered by his killing intent.
The Lord stood still as the Prince approached him and stood beside him in silence.
After several moments of stillness that seemed to last an eternity, he heard his son say these words, "Where is mother?"
The Lord of the West's eyes widened in surprise and confusion.
He heard his son repeat the same words again.
"Where is mother?"
Then the Lord of the West realized what he was dealing with.
After all, they were both standing before the Lady of the West's tomb.
And that was the last thing Shirinousai showed them.
Sesshoumaru's mother, was dead.
~~)~
Centuries later, in a forest somewhere...
Frigid golden orbs stared down at the earth. Imposing and splendorous, this Sesshoumaru, even with his left arm now missing, was supreme in every essence. He was a mountain of power, so why then was he now stopped before what lay in front of him.
The blood and scent had led him here. Her tiny lifeless, battered body, lay before him on the green earth. He did not care for her death. She was simply another fleeting mortal soul. An orphan.
He paused.
Her smile. Even after having obviously been beaten up and treated poorly by those of her village, she was still able to smile like that?
A long hidden invisible scar pulsed.
Memories from a long, long time ago, flashed across Sesshoumaru's mind. That feeling of disgust at being... weak and helpless. Dammit! Why did the brat have to try to help him! How dare she! How could he have put himself in a situation where he would be offered help by one as weak as her, despite her own pathetic existence in this cruel world, where her own kind would mistreat her for her muteness?
An image of his mother flashed across his mind.
Ah, that's who this child's smile had reminded him of. Now he realized it. It was the same smile his mother would wear when reaching out to help him when he was a weak pup.
Sesshoumaru saw the bleeding black fur of the panther in his mind. He remembered its strength; the strength that was not of a physical nature.
Curses!
Funny, how fate intervenes. And, for whose sake.
And after centuries of dormancy, a miniscule crack formed in the icy cold heart of the Lord of the West. But that crack was enough. Something flowed out of it. It coursed through the being that was Sesshoumaru, releasing a power destined to be his, forged by the trials of his youth, for a moment like this. For the future. For the journey towards the realization of one's self.
Instinctively, his remaining hand reached for the useless sword his father left him. It pulsed in his hand, brought to life, to live and let live.
A slash of the sword.
And Sesshoumaru's ward, Rin, came back to life.
~)~~
/
Flashback: Chapter 38 : Rolshtam; just Humble and Selfless
"Rolshtam… please… save us…!"
Sesshoumaru felt that feeling of being weak again, though he did not know why. And as he watched, after those words were said by the boy, the glowing strength in the man's eyes burst out with energy. An entire storm of power erupted in-between the light and the end. The power was so bright, that it was almost blinding again.
~~~.~~~
Sesshoumaru felt weak yet again, and he still didn't know why.
'But how could this be?' he asked himself. He was never weak. He was strong. He was probably the strongest of all. But this human, had a strength that he could not even compare with.
'What is that strength?' a voice inside Sesshoumaru once again made itself heard.
~~~.~~~
The Human was strong, and Sesshoumaru… was a weakling?
Now Sesshoumaru remembered what was behind the walls that had crumbled deep within him, yesterday. It was what he had when he was a child himself. It was the desire …to cherish and to be …happy.
~~~.~~~
Rolshtam opened his eyes, and there before him… stood a creature, dressed in white… just like those people that would come to him and sing him songs when he was asleep.
Rolshtam saw green poison dripping from the wood. What he now recognized as the demon in white, had his hand embedded into the thickness of the beam, having used his poison to melt through.
Rolshtam grinned almost knowingly, at the demon glaring at him. And then… the creaking and the groaning or wood increased tremendously in volume. Wood shattered and cracked, and some parts of the remaining walls were ripped out from the very foundations.
With sparkling eyes, Rolshtam watched as the end of the giant beam was lifted off his shoulders.
The stunned children gasped when the beam was completely lifted off, ripping most of the surrounding walls and carrying the burning roof with it. The blazing mass of wood was lifted up by one hand of the man in white, before it went sailing through the air, to crash into the ground far away, now nothing more than mere harmless firewood.
Sesshoumaru watched Rolshtam with hidden amusement, as the human stared at the green glow surrounding his hand as it slowly faded away.
Sesshoumaru smirked to himself when Rolshtam grinned at him. Looking into his eyes, Sesshoumaru wasn't very surprised to see the end retreating in haste, and the light beginning to shine again. It appeared that the human… was going to live… for a long time to come.
Sesshoumaru had learnt something today. Humans were weak, but among them, there were those who could be called strong, not because of power or strength, but by their inner passion to protect what was precious to them, even if the humans happened to be evil, good, or even mentally handicapped.
'Perhaps,' Sesshoumaru thought. 'It won't make me too weak if I helped another, once in a while…'
End Flashback
/
Funny, how fate intervenes. And, for whose sake.