Chapter 115

Amanda stood frozen as the pale V'Shar walked towards her. His white robe was stained orange with dust, indicating he had been travelling for some time in the desert. How had he managed to escape and more importantly, what does he want from me?

The dark circles under his eyes were deeper than she had ever seen. She doubted he had slept in days. As he continued to step closer, Amanda willed herself to move but it was as if she had been paralyzed. I-Chaya moved forward to intercept him, hackles raised and a terrible growl emanating from his throat. But the V'Shar ignored him. I-Chaya readied himself to lunge at him but just as he was about to pounce, one glance from the V'Shar sent I-Chaya whimpering backwards.

Amanda watched, motionless and terrified as he stood before her. She could barely breathe.

"Please… please don't hurt me," she whispered, clasping her hands in front of her.

She saw the V'Shar frown at her, his eyes were a deep bloodshot green. But he said nothing. Instead, he reached forward to grab her. Amanda managed to find the power to pull her right shoulder out of his grasp but she was too slow the second time. She struggled to get loose but his grip tightened until her arm went numb.

"No!" she cried and fought even harder.

He jerked her forcefully which made her dizzy before slipping his hand into hers. She stilled as she realized that she wasn't wearing any gloves. She froze in confusion.

"You can hear me now?" came a low voice in her head.

Amanda flinched.

"What do you want?" she demanded, suddenly feeling bold.

She looked down at their entwined hands and back into his disturbing eyes. How come he was able to…?

"There is no time. I must restore your lost memory and repair the damage done to you," he explained before he moved his free hand to touch her temples.

She jerked back reflexively, anticipating further pain.

"No!"

He pulled her towards him again mercilessly.

"Resisting will not help you," he reprimanded but she wouldn't stop.

"Get out of my head!" she recoiled. "Why are you doing this?"

As she continued to thrash but without movement from him, she regarded him warily.

"To save my daughter and as a result, you."

Amanda stared at him openly.

"Your daughter?" she asked.

"Yes. You met her once but have been forced to forget. She sent me here."

Amanda relaxed her position as he made no further attempt to touch her temples. He looked weary.

"I can show you. If you will let me," he said raising his hand tentatively, waiting for her permission.

She eyed his hand uncomfortably.

"Will it hurt?"

"Not if you do not resist," he replied.

Amanda swallowed.

"Alright, do it," she agreed.

I-Chaya whimpered as the V'Shar touched his fingertips to her temples. The man closed his eyes and Amanda suddenly felt a stream of consciousness awaken inside her. The desert. The Samaritan. The secrets that they, no she, had revealed. Her mission to find the Matriarch and her failure.

She opened her eyes.

"You are the Samaritan's father?" she asked.

"Yes, her name is: T'Pol," he said and she felt a burst of protectiveness and affection from him as he said it.

With his hand still on her face he took a deep breath.

"Now I must repair the damage that has been done to you. We do not have much time…"

"Step away from my wife," interrupted a commanding voice that was all too familiar.

The V'Shar turned, lifting his hand away and Amanda saw Sarek a few feet away, glaring at the Vulcan she now held hands with.

The V'Shar didn't speak but he didn't let go of her hand either.

I-Chaya ran to his master's side and Sarek placed his palm on the top of the sehlat's head without breaking eye contact with them.

"We don't have time for this. S'Kelnek is on his way," warned the V'Shar in her mind. "You must get rid of him or I will," he threatened.

Amanda gave the V'Shar a dark look before moving forward to Sarek but when she made to let go of his hand he held fast. She looked back confused.

"Do not let go," he instructed. "Otherwise S'Kelnek will attempt to regain control and you will forget that he is your enemy. This is the only way I can protect you until the damage is repaired."

Amanda looked at her husband again that was now regarding her with some suspicion. Oh, how on Earth was she going to explain all this?

"Adhun, I know this looks bad…" she started, raising her hand towards him as if trying to calm a tiger.

His eyes switched to the V'Shar.

"I'm ordering you to let her go," he said sharply, stepping closer.

Amanda moved to stand between them which drew back his confused gaze before his expression hardened.

"Sarek, he's here to help me. To help us…" she tried again.

"Amanda, that V'Shar is a danger to you, no matter what he has told you or is forcing you to say," Sarek warned her.

She shook her head.

"Sarek, he's not our enemy, he's…"

"He attacked you on the station and has now escaped his confinement to find you again so that he can continue his unhealthy obsession with your mind," he explained coolly. "Do not let your kindness blind you to this threat."

"He is almost here," the V'Shar warned her, gripping her hand more tightly which hurt.

Sarek noticed her gasp at this and opened his mouth to rebuke him but Amanda cut him off impatiently. She could now palpably feel the danger as if she were walking closer and closer to the edge of a terrifying precipice.

"Sarek, listen to me," she implored. "He is not our enemy. It is S'Kelnek."

Sarek's eyebrow raised at this and regarded the V'Shar suspiciously.

"No, look at me!" she ordered.

Sarek's face returned to hers with a new wary expression.

"He's the reason our bond has not improved. He's been manipulating and controlling me so that I'm no longer myself. S'Kelnek is the danger. I tried to tell the Matriarch but he got to me before I could. Only this man can recover the damage that he's done but you've got to help me."

She yanked her hand from the V'Shar's grasp and immediately regretted it as her head began to throb and flicker with pain. She staggered towards Sarek who grabbed her hands in alarm and in an attempt to keep her upright.

"Sarek, you have to trust me," she said, her breathing labored. "Please, keep S'Kelnek away," she begged. "He will try to come through that door any second now."

She lifted her head from her hunched shoulders and watched his eyes widen as he could sense through her touch that she was being truthful. She smiled ruefully.

"You once asked me to wait for you. Now I must ask you to do the same. Please Sarek… wait for me."

Sarek lay in wait outside their rooms. He tried not to think about what was happening inside and instead he summoned T'Arris to make sure that the Matriarch was informed. He also connected with Satik to make him aware of his counterpart's location. I-Chaya prowled back and forth up the corridor in front of him, his restlessness showing the impatience that he himself was suppressing.

He focussed his attention on the feeling of the stone floor beneath his feet. It's firm and heavy weight allowed him to visualize himself as if he were a part of that rock. Strong, stable and calm. His heart rate slowed and I-Chaya also became less agitated.

It wasn't long before he heard purposeful footsteps coming towards him. He glanced up to see the silvered hair of the elder Vulcan before their eyes met. S'Kelnek's pace slowed as he drew closer.

I-Chaya emitted a deep guttural grow which drew the elder's attention. The sehlat shrunk back under his gaze.

"You will leave my sehlat alone," Sarek instructed him clearly.

S'Kelnek looked at him curiously before nodding briefly. I-Chaya shook his head as if he were batting away an annoying insect with his ears and came to stand beside Sarek more closely, his teeth still bared.

"What brings you to stand outside your rooms in such a manner?" S'Kelnek asked him.

Sarek tried to analyze the man's face to see if he could decipher the man's thoughts but saw nothing unusual. He appeared to be well practiced at hiding his deceit.

"I am here to prevent admittance. We are not accepting any visitors today," he said dismissively.

"You veil your words but I can see your meaning, nu'ri-veh. You are saying that I, specifically, am not allowed to enter," S'Kelnek replied with a tone of disapproval.

In the past, Sarek would have responded with some subservient phrase or manner but not anymore. S'Kelnek noticed this and his face hardened. Sarek decided to hold his tongue. As long as he remained on this side of the door, he was no threat to her. He would continue to stall.

"I see much distrust in your eyes. What has come between us?" S'Kelnek asked in an almost fatherly way. Like he used to as his old mentor.

Again, Sarek chose to remain silent.

"You will not speak with me at all?" he continued in that paternal way.

"We may talk tomorrow," Sarek replied finally. "Today is not suitable."

Just on the edge of his hearing, Sarek heard Amanda gasp sharply from inside. It took all his strength not to show any reaction to it. S'Kelnek's advanced age meant he would not have been able to hear it from this distance but something else within the man seemed to change. A hint of desperation entered his eyes.

S'Kelnek moved closer and lowered his voice.

"I must speak with you and your wife on a matter of great importance," he explained. "Tomorrow will be too late."

Sarek suppressed a wave of anger that formed at the mention of Amanda.

"She is not available," Sarek replied coolly. "You may discuss it with me alone."

S'Kelnek gave him a hard stare but then his lip trembled for a moment and Sarek suddenly saw the frailty of his old mentor. He looked… vulnerable.

"You do realize that every moment she is left in there the more of what I have worked so hard to achieve is being undone?" he asked, sounding for the first time to Sarek's ears: hurt.

Sarek considered the old man for a moment, no longer tall and proud but hunched and thin. He wondered if this was the only opportunity to understand the motives behind his scheme and what he had truly done. He decided to try and illicit a confession himself to see if he could spare him the severe interrogation practices of the V'Shar.

"And what is that exactly?" Sarek prompted, not unkindly but firmly.

S'Kelnek straightened briefly, some of his superiority returning.

"Her mental training of course. She came to me as inert as dried clay but now with my effort she is responsive, malleable," he explained.

The word "malleable" left an unpleasant taste in Sarek's mouth. He consciously relaxed his shoulders that had tensed during their exchange.

"To you maybe, but not to myself or the Matriarch," Sarek said with a meaningful look.

S'Kelnek glanced away before walking a few steps, leaving his back towards Sarek. Sarek briefly entertained the idea of disabling him but decided it would be too soon. There was still more he could learn.

"It was too soon to allow her to communicate with anyone except for myself. Her mental state is naturally chaotic. It requires careful and persistent training to maintain the delicate balance that is required."

So this explained the calming of her emotions, her absent-mindedness. But he wasn't admitting to everything…

"You did more than just establish mental stability though," Sarek prompted.

How far had he gone?

S'Kelnek turned around to face him again and looked almost smug.

"I did find during our sessions that if I desired, I could exert certain influence over the human mind. By suppressing some instincts or memories and inciting others I could to some extent… control her behavior."

Sarek's fists tightened.

"I have you to credit for giving me the inspiration, actually. When you praised humans' adaptable nature it made me consider. Could the mind also be adapted to suit our purposes?" S'Kelnek continued, oblivious to the effect this was having to his listener.

Sarek willed himself to stay calm, Amanda was safe now and would recover. Anger would not serve him well at this time. The emotion inside him subsided a little.

"But for what purpose?" Sarek asked, unable to keep his voice completely calm.

S'Kelnek looked at him with a stunned expression.

"For you, of course."

"For me?" Sarek said disbelieving.

"To protect you," S'Kelnek clarified.

Sarek's brow furrowed. What protection could he need from his own wife? S'Kelnek shook his head as he saw Sarek's confusion.

"And you were such a bright child," S'Kelnek said shaking his head dismissively. "The purpose was to protect you… when your time came," he explained as if to a simpleton.

Sarek's eyes narrowed.

"Yes, you understand correctly. I put in place precautionary measures that would prevent her from abandoning her obligations to you should the worst happen," S'Kelnek said bitterly.

Sarek's heart pounded in his side. How could he not have detected this happening?

"Why do you think this is necessary?" he said, dismayed.

S'Kelnek furrowed his brows.

"Do you not recall how she reacted when you explained the cycle to her the first time? She fled your presence. It was clear from Se'tek's report."

"That is classified. How did you…"

S'Kelnek batted away his question with his hand.

"Your previous bondmate did exactly the same. You gave me no choice when you refused to accept the Matriarch's offer of a symbolic marriage with the human but a private union with a Vulcan to serve you in your time of need," he explained, pacing.

Then he stopped to look at him and came closer.

"But it's not only that," S'kelnek said looking away, almost as if he were… ashamed.

"I saw such fear in her nu'ri-veh," he said looking deep into Sarek's eyes. "And she would have no hope of controlling it like we can. But I can do that for her."

Was that affection he saw in the depths of those eyes or obsession?

"It is a mercy," S'Kelnek whispered finally.

Sarek shook his head in disbelief. His old mentor had once been the only one who he had often sought counsel after his father's death. But to finally see his …warped view of the world and what that had made him do to his wife…

S'Kelnek seemed disappointed with the lack of positive response.

"Have I not done what you have done yourself already with your own aide?" S'Kelnek challenged him. "Mold her into what you needed?"

"Those two situations are incomparable," Sarek retorted.

The same vulnerable look that Sarek had seen earlier entered S'Kelnek's face then.

"I have prepared her for you as if she were my own daughter," he said earnestly, as if he truly believed that what he had done was for the benefit of everyone.

"But without her knowledge or consent," Sarek countered darkly.

"She asked for my help and I gave it to her," S'Kelnek retaliated, his tone beginning to become desperate.

"Without her knowing what you were doing."

Sarek was ashamed and he didn't try to suppress it. He had trusted this man to give her the support and education that they needed to make their bond strong. He had never considered for a moment whether Satik's warning could have been referring to his old mentor.

"There are those that are very interested in exploring the mind of a human…"

He'd been a blind fool.

S'Kelnek began to grow indignant at his rejection.

"Even if you choose to condemn me and complete your cycle without my support this…union," he gestured, "will not bring your father back," he said caustically.

Sarek relaxed his arms from their hold behind his back and placed one hand gently on the frail man's shoulder. S'Kelnek looked at him, puzzled. Sarek leaned his head forward until their foreheads were almost touching before looking into his eyes.

"I have accepted his loss. It is clear, you have not."

And before his old mentor could respond, Sarek used a nerve pinch to render him unconscious. As his body went limp, Sarek gently lowered it to the floor to allow him to rest as if he were sitting asleep against the wall.

Sarek looked at the old man he had once held such admiration for as he lay there looking …tired. Sarek pitied him.

Finally, he heard more footsteps in the corridor. He saw T'Arris arriving with the Matriarch close behind accompanied by some of her male servers. At the same time the door opened behind him and the pale V'Shar gestured for him to come inside.

Without waiting for his clan leader, he swiftly walked inside to find Amanda lying unconscious on the floor. Her headscarf wrapped in a makeshift pillow to cradle her head. Sarek rushed toward her and kneeling down he moved her head and shoulders to rest on his knees. She remained motionless and pale.

He looked to the V'Shar in concern and he gestured towards her with his palm face down and lowered it slowly. Let her rest, he seemed to indicate.

Sarek returned his attention to her and placed his hand on her forehead. It was warm to the touch. Her pulse was slow, but he could sense calm within her.

As soon as the Matriarch stepped in, she pointed at the escaped V'Shar.

"Restrain him," she ordered.

The servers complied immediately and the V'Shar didn't resist them as they bound his hands and took him away.

T'Pau and T'Arris came to kneel next to him, their expressions grave. T'Pau raised her hands to Amanda's temples and they waited…

Amanda heard the sound of waves crashing on sand and the fizz of the sea foam dissolving as the waves receded.

"'Manda!" called a warm and familiar voice.

Dad? She flickered her eyes open.

Blue sky stretched out above her and the sun radiated its warm golden rays that seemed to kiss her skin. The figure of her father in a swimsuit, dripping wet from the sea came to her as he ran up the beach towards her. He crouched down to look at her. His hair still erratic even when wet.

"Race you to the sea!" he challenged with a mischievous wink.

Amanda peered between his legs to the sea beyond. It looked cold, dark, perhaps even… wild. She shook her head. Her father's brows furrowed.

"Why not?" he asked, puzzled.

"Too chaotic," she replied.

She didn't like how opaque that sea was. She couldn't see anything within its depths.

Her father threw his head back and laughed heartily.

"Ah, but there is beauty in chaos 'Manda. There's no need to be afraid," he said reassuringly.

Amanda looked again at the sea, trying to find the beauty he mentioned but felt only fear. She shook her head again.

"Too scared," she said.

Her father came forward and lifted her up by her armpits and swung her round so that she landed in front of him, his hands resting warmly on her shoulder.

"Well… you have two choices," he said and she could hear the smile in his voice as he looked out towards the sea. "Your first choice: listen to the fear and never enter the sea again. Or the second: acknowledge that fear and say: "thank you very much but I'm going to do it anyway!""

He turned around to look into her eyes.

"So what's your choice?" he asked, his eyes glinting merrily.

Amanda twisted her fingers.

"But what if there are sharks in the water?" she asked.

"But what if there are sea turtles?" he replied.

Her eyes widened. She did love sea turtles. She looked shyly again at the sea. It roiled and hissed under her gaze.

"Your best friend: McSquirty the sea turtle could be waiting out there for you right now," he joked. "Surely you wouldn't want to miss that chance?" he asked, eyes bright.

Amanda's stomach fluttered but she reluctantly shook her head. Her father beamed at her and enveloped her small hand in his large one.

"Then let's find out together," he said.

Together they walked towards the waves. As they reached the very edge, Amanda froze as a wave tentatively lapped at her feet. The dissolving foam tickled which made her giggle. Feeling brave, she took larger steps in until it was up to her knees. She shivered slightly at how cold it was. Still, even this close, she couldn't see below the surface.

"Just a little further, 'Manda" her father encouraged. "Why don't you show me one of those dives you are so good at?"

Amanda felt bolstered by his belief in her and she waded forward until the water was at her chest before stopping.

"You'll stay with me, right?" she asked.

He gave her a broad smile.

"I'm always with you 'Manda," he said, comforting.

So Amanda took a deep breath, narrowed her eyes at the dark blue depths, jumped up and dove into the darkness.

"… disorientated…"

"… maybe… dreaming…"

Amanda roused drowsily from her sleep. Her eyelids fluttered and the wispy voices around her quietened. She felt hot, dry and a discomfort that meant she had been lying still in the same position for some time. Finally, she opened her eyes to find the stoic faces of the Matriarch and T'Arris looking down at her. Their heads loomed large as her depth perception worked overtime to focus.

Looking upwards she saw the familiar lines of her husband's face. Sarek… She realized she was resting in his lap. She felt safe and… calm. He looked at her with great intensity when suddenly she heard something…

"Amanda?" came his soft voice in her mind.

Amanda's eyes widened and she gasped.

"Sarek!"