Bella came over to watch movies tonight while Carlisle was at work and my other siblings were out seeing a concert I didn't want to go to.
We watched Persona first as Bella asked to watch one of my favourite films. We talked afterwards about the themes of identity and reality.
Sitting beside her on the couch was very distracting. I could feel her body warmth and she was leaning in my direction at times. Sometimes I caught her watching me rather than the movie, though I was more than guilty of doing the same. I spent the entire time wishing I could hold her hand and embrace her, tell her every secret and finally have nothing more between us, no matter how disgusted she would be. I wonder what she was thinking.
I ordered a pizza for us at dinner time but when I went to take a slice Bella said "Don't Edward, I know you don't want to choke that down, it's fine. Don't pretend." I faltered at how to react, but eventually said "well, I'm not hungry, no" and she said " Of course you're not, it's fine. I don't want you to eat the same stuff as me when I know that you don't want to." I'm not sure what she thinks I eat, but I really do despise forcing down human food, so took the opportunity to refrain.
Her movie choice was an Iranian film about a female vampire. The film was nicely shot, but inevitably made for some incredibly awkward viewing. I kept my eyes locked on the screen for the entire running time, but I could see Bella glancing at me trying to gage my reaction, her heart was racing, as she surely found the film quite horrifying.
Once the credits rolled she looked at me searchingly, seeming somehow unsatisfied and asked what I thought of it. I spoke about the directorial style and the thematic elements and then she asked explicitly "if you were a vampire what kind of people would you hunt?" I could hear how Esme suddenly froze, listening in. The film had been in Persian, so she was not aware of its contents and the question must have been even more unexpected for her.
I must have looked quite shocked myself, but managed to squeak out a garbled answer about how I wouldn't want to kill anyone and would try to eat animals instead.
She started to say something else, but eventually thought better of it, so I seized the opportunity and made some excuses about how it was late and she should probably get home. She asked if I was ok and I told her I didn't usually watch horror and that the movie had been quite unsettling. She apologised, again looking into my eyes somehow unsatisfied.
Before she was even out of the carport Esme had come to talk with me. I explained the contents of the movie and we discussed the possibility that Bella suspects me. We decided that she was a sensible girl and unlikely to believe anything most humans would dismiss as so fantastical. Her question must just have been related to the film, however close to home it hit.
It was a coincidence in the end. Although, terrifying as the prospect is, I can't help but wish it hadn't been.
A/N: Please leave a review! Thanks so much to my wonderful beta wh1teow1, please show some love and read Moirai, a reimagining of Twilight for the new decade! Have you seen this film? It's called A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night. Have you seen Persona?