I don't own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes, cringe and grammar mistakes.
Chapter 119: Top 10 Hottest Female Sonic Characters
"Okay, this one I kept for last. It's probably the best video in the world." Nova said.
"I highly doubt that." Weiss said.
"Just watch."
[D3 Entertainment intro]
Sonic the Hedgehog. One of the greatest and most attractive characters ever thought up.
"Did he just say most attractive?" Blake said.
He can run at sound speed, take out enemies in a flash, and best of all, he's blue colored and knows how to handle the females.
"What a man. He's blue AND knows how to handle the females." Yang said.
"What the hell is this?"
Speaking of females, the Sonic universe might also be classified as "Hot Chick Heaven" because there's such a mess of very beautiful and tough women that it will make you love the franchise even more!
They laughed a little.
"Hot chick heaven?" Pyrrha said.
"I like how the way he says "females"." Yang said.
"Wait, they have humans too?" Ruby said.
And since Valentine's Day is around the corner, I've been inspired to make a top 10 list of the most beautiful female Sonic characters. Grab yourself a snack and a glass of orange juice, and try not to reach through the screen because HERE WE GO! (Guptill runs at super sonic speed down the road.)
They all laughed.
"Is he serious?" Jaune said.
"Uh huh." Nova said.
"No way!" Yang said.
"Should we get orange juice?" Ruby said.
"What bothers me the most is that he sounds like Sonic." Weiss said.
Number 10: Try this question on for size. Who chases and hugs Sonic all the time and wields a powerful hammer?
"Me!" Nora said.
Why it's Amy Rose of course!
"She wishes!"
Though more of a cutie than a hottie, you can't deny the fact that she's still attractive.
Some of them laughed.
"Isn't she 12?" Ren said.
Two things that make her attractive are the fact that she wears a dress, and when have you ever seen 3 big, very smooth arcs of hair sticking out of a person's forehead? I haven't!
They all laughed.
"Wow, guys. She wears a dress. That's so hot." Yang said.
"And she has bangs on her forehead. Don't forget that." Nora said.
So once again, Amy Rose is lovely; that is until she goes berserk and starts hitting stuff with her hammer."Wait, that's it? She wears a dress and she has bangs?" Pyrrha said.
Who's at number 9?
"Big the Cat!" Nora said.
It's this alien plant girl from a distant planet. Cosmo, from Sonic X.
"Who is that now?!" Weiss said.
"Alient plant girl? So now we have plants on the list?" Blake said.
"I mean, she has a dress. Why wouldn't she?" Yang said.
She arrived on the character's planet to deliver a message saying that the galaxy was under attack by a force called the Metarex. She doesn't do much except tell people to stop fighting and focus on the real matter at hand. The real reason she lands at the #9 is that she becomes Miles "Tails" Prower's sweetheart, something Tails needed for a long while.
"Aww, they look cute together." Ruby said.
"She is a plant. And he's a fox. Do you know how weird that is?" Weiss said.
Numero Ocho (Spanish).
"And multilingual. This video has quality." Blake said.
"Bad mic quality." Yang said.
Cream the Rabbit's mother, Vanilla.
"Finally, an adult." Weiss said.
"He gets plus milf points."
She's attractive and the size of an average human mother.
They laughed a little.
"The way he says it. The average size of a human mother."
What really surprises me about her is that the leader of Team Chaotix, Vector the Crocodile, falls in love with her. Kinda silly, don't you think?
"And then he eats her." Blake said.
She's another character that doesn't do much, but in a season 3 episode of Sonic X, she helps Chris Thorndyke get into space to fight the Metarex along with Sonic and friends.
"That's it?" Weiss said.
What number's next? Seven, of course. Wave the Swallow from Sonic Riders.
"What's a swallow?" Ruby said.
People always root for the good guys, but sometimes, the bad guys steal the show.
"Eggman hottest waifu." Nora said.
"You mean hottest "female"." Yang said.
Her mechanical IQ is equal to Tails. She also happens to be the smartest member of the Babylon Rogues. I wonder why she isn't the leader. Like Jet the Hawk and Storm the Albatross, her specialty is riding the air-boards called "Extreme Gear".
"What's an albatross?" Ruby said.
With two very long and smooth feathers extending from her head to her calves and droopy eyes, Wave will rock your socks. If only we could see her take wing...
They all burst into laughter.
"What the hell?!" Blake said.
"This list is getting worse." Weiss said.
Numero Six (French). Tikal the Echidna from Sonic Adventure 1. Named after an ancient Mayan city of the same name, Tikal is the daughter of Chief Pachacamac.
"Pacha-what?" Yang said.
She's yet another character that hardly does a thing except beg her father to stop being so greedy.
"And she's number six?"
She also traps herself inside the Master Emerald so that the water god Chaos doesn't reign terror upon the land. When you're the daughter of a person in the highest power, you need to look your best and Tikal delivers perfectly. That's why she's #6.
"You can't really say that she does nothing." Pyrrha said.
Number 1, 2, 3, 4, 5! (thunder) Ah-Ah-Ahhh!
They couldn't help but laugh a little.
Mina Mongoose from the Sonic Archie comics.
"Tank top, cargo short shorts. I can see why." Yang said.
"That doesn't even look official, it looks like fanart." Jaune said.
How could you go wrong with a girl that looks like this?
"You tell us." Blake said.
She can run nearly as fast as Sonic and she went from being a Freedom Fighter to being a popstar singer. Next to Princess Sally she looks more humanoid than the other characters. Who could top someone who has long mauve hair?
"Mwave?" Weiss said.
"He means mauve. Purple." Nova said.
"Okay, so far he likes dresses, bangs, human mother sized, useless, long hair." Yang said.
This female standing at number 4: Blaze the Cat.
"Okay, okay. I still don't know how does that make this abomination of a video better."
One word: Pyrokinesis. How would you like to have that superpower? I mean Blaze could play around in the Himalayas for hours and she would be perfectly fine!
Some of them laughed.
"That's a weird allegory." Ren said.
Also, her 45 degree ponytail makes her look like a Native American.
"Again with the hair." Weiss said.
"I think he has a hair fetish." Blake said.
"Imagine if he saw me." Yang said.
"He wouldn't react because you're not a furry."
"Or the size of an average human mother." Nora said.
I really like the fact that her love interest is the telekinetic hedgehog Silver. The combination of mind-moving and fire superpowers make these two a reliable couple. But what really lands Blaze in the #4 spot is that her attitude is apparently more different from the other females.
"I don't like how he says females. Not women, not girls, females." Weiss said.
Next up is #3. What's better than having a female with cascading quills?
"One with hair?" Ruby said.
"Big The Cat!" Nora said.
How about a female with cascading quills and hair?
They laughed a little.
"Wait, how is that possible? Quills and hair?" Jaune said.
"Echidnas have quills?" Ruby said.
Julie-Su the Echidna, another Archie comic exclusive has that feature. She's smart, knows exactly what to do as a freedom fighter, and even trained Amy once. She's also the girl of Knuckles' dreams. Heh, lucky him.
"Yeah, she has hair." Yang said.
Her older self in the series Mobius: X Years Later is just downright hot! Just look at that long ponytail! Now we're talkin'!
They laughed again.
"Now we're talkin'! What is this? Seriously, this is getting worse."
1, 2, button my shoe!
"Is this supposed to be comedy?" Weiss said.
Princess Sally Acorn. There's a lot to say about this character.
"Yeah, she's actually naked!" Nora said.
She's the heir to the throne, Sonic's first official romance, the only character that used to not wear clothes,-
They burst into laughter.
-brave and athletic, the most humanoid character, and is like a mother to Tails.
"I hope that's not official art." Blake said.
"It is." Nova said.
"Who made these comics?!" Weiss said.
In the TV show, Sonic SatAM, one Freedom Fighter, the cowardly Antoine constantly tries to woo Sally, but doesn't succeed because... he's a coward! The Princess is also a semi-perfect example of an excellent love interest, although there were a couple of times when she really snapped and acted like a lunatic; in the comics, that is. But overall, Sally Acorn really stands out amongst the slew of females not just because she's Sonic's first official love interest, or because she's the only one who didn't wear clothes, but because in the comics, she grew very long hair, and married Sonic in the future, becoming the Queen.
"Of course she did."
"I can't believe these drawings are official. And kids read them?" Pyrrha said.
"Uh huh. Thank you, Ken Penders." Nova said.
So, you've seen a pyrokinetic Cat, a swallow, two gorgeous echidnas, and even a princess! Who could possibly top those kinds of females?
"Let's hope that he puts Rouge at number one." Yang said.
"Or Cream." Blake said.
"Okay, that would be too extreme." Jaune said.
"This whole video is extreme!" Weiss said.
Well, get ready folks; this is the #1 hottest Sonic the Hedgehog female character.
(Shows full shot of Rouge.)
"There we go." Yang said.
"What is that music?"
(A close up on her chest.)
Some of them laughed.
Rouge the Bat. If anybody denies it, how dare you?
They laughed again.
"Yeah, how dare anyone says otherwise?" Yang said.
This woman can fly, she's as strong as Knuckles, and is a femme fatale, seducing other characters into getting what she wants. Instead of having one love interest, she has two! Knuckles, and Shadow the Hedgehog. Being a treasure thief, she's only interested in one object set; jewels, especially the Chaos Emeralds.
"She takes a bath with her gloves on?" Ruby said.
"Imagine if she's fully clothed inside." Blake said.
There actually have been situations where Rouge's cleavage has been exposed, but it eventually got censored. What a price to pay.
They all laughed.
"They just removed the line!" Yang said while laughing. "Now she has a uniboob!"
I think the best part about this beauty is that she wears three different outfits unlike the other female characters. And who wouldn't want to fly across the landscape via strong as Shawn Johnson, and flirt with any male, anytime, anywhere.
"Where does he find all these examples and allegories? Native Americans, average human mother size, Himalayas,- I mean, who is Shawn Johnson anyway?" Weiss said.
These three traits make Rouge the Bat triumph over all of the Sonic the Hedgehog females.
"But she doesn't have long hair!" Nora said.
My hat goes off to you Sonic Team USA. You oughta be proud.
"They should. They created furries." Blake said.
"The correct term is "Sonicfag"." Nova said.
There you have it, folks! Those were the hottest female chicks in the Sonic universe. I hope you enjoyed it, happy Valentine's Day, and I'll see you later. Here we go! (Guptill89 runs at super sonic speed again.)
[End credits]
"Noooo! We got rickrolled! With a different song!" Nora said.
"Well, that was a trip." Yang said.
"A trip that I never wanted to go." Weiss said.
"Isn't America great? Anyways, goodnight kids." Nova said and left.
And done! Like, follow, leave a review AND NOT A REQUEST, send me a PM if you want and READ THE NOVA FORCE. See you soon!