I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes, cringe and grammar mistakes.
Chapter 122: Newgrounds Classics
"You seem very happy, Weiss." Blake said.
"Why would I be? I'm finally done with SMG4. Nothing and I mean nothing, will ruin this wonderful moment!" Weiss said.
"Nothing, eh? Well, since you're so happy, how about I try to improve your childhood again?" Nova said.
"You know what? Let's do it. Nothing else will be as stupid as SMG4."
"Good. Cause right now, I'll show you the most memorable Newgrounds animations. Let's start with some classics." (And no, not Madness Combat.)
Awesome Series - PokeAwesome - Just a Pokémon Battle (by Egoraptor)
(Intro)
"Yay, Pokémon!" Ruby said.
Ash: Okay, Pikachu, I choose you, GO!
(Ash gets out Pikachu.)
Pikachu: PIKACHU!
Some of them laughed.
"It's just started, come on." Yang said.
Ash: Pikachu, use... Thunderbolt!
Pikachu: Pika pi! Pika! (Hits Venusaur)
Other trainer: Venusaur, oh no! Counterattack with whatever you feel like, man!
Venusaur: ... Wait, hold on, what? Venu- I mean "Venusaur", with a question mark.
Other trainer: Yeah, I don't know, whatever.
Venusaur: Dude, come on, man! Fffffuck! I mean "Venusaur"!
They all laughed a little.
Venusaur: I don't know what my fucking attacks are, dude. You're the one who keeps track of that shit. I just take the fucking hits for you.
Ash: Pikachu use Thunder... Smash!
Pikachu: Pikachu! (Hits Venusaur)
Venusaur: Ow, fuck! Aw god! Man, this is... I mean "Venusaur"!
They all laughed.
"I can't! I just can't!" Pyrrha said while laughing.
"Thundersmash!" Ruby said.
"Thunderbolt!" Yang said.
"Thunderstorm!"
"Thundertail!"
"Thunder... Thunder!"
"Thunderkiss!"
"Thundersex!". Now Nora joined.
"Thundercock!"
"Thunderlawsuit!"
"How many attack names are you going to make with the word thunder?" Weiss said.
"Thunder-shut up." Yang said.
Trainer: Look, I don't care what you fucking do. I don't even know... what-
Venusaur: Just say fucking Solar Beam! I mean "Venusaur".
Trainer: Whatever, do Solar Beam.
Venusaur: Yeah, okay, thanks! Venusaur...
VENUSAUR needs a turn to absorb SUNLIGHT!
Venusaur: Uuuugh...
Ash: Pikachu, while he's... charging his Thunder... smash, use your bolt... of lightning!
Pikachu: PIKACHU! (Hits Venusaur)
"He took three lightning bolts and it's still up." Blake said.
"Electric types are weak against grass types. And it's a Venusaur." Ruby said.
Venusaur: FUCK, OW! Okay... Am I gonna do the fire-, I don't even need your permission for this one. I mean "Venusaur", bam! (Hits Pikachu)
Pikachu: FUCK! OH GOD, MY FUCKING KNEE! THAT'S MY KNEE! DAMNIT! SHIT! OHHHH MAN...!
They laughed again.
Pikachu: Why didn't you evolve me, you asshole?!
Ash: Because I love you, Pikachu. I don't want-
Pikachu: DO YOU WANT ME TO LOSE?! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?! CHRIST! (Throws up)
They kept laughing.
"Oh, come on!" Ruby said while laughing.
Pikachu: You- all you feed me is puffins! I NEED NOURISHMENT! TAUROS MEAT OR SOMETHING!
Ash: We don't- we don't kill Pokémon-
Pikachu: WE DO! WE DO IT FOR YOU, FUCKING ASSHOLES!
"How long has been keeping all that?!" Blake said while laughing.
Pikachu: GODDAMNIT!
Venusaur: Look, I'm total- I'm really sorry about that-
Pikachu: FUCK YOU, MAN! You suck!
"He keeps going!" Yang said.
Pikachu: Stupid evolved... prick! What do you even do?! You just... You're just a plant! Shut up, man! All your fucking fault!
Venusaur: Hey, I didn't even-
Pikachu: YOU WERE THE ONE WHO'S ALL "Oh, I got to do an attack"! You could've just walked away... but you didn't, you prick! So fuck you, you dumbass! My knee...! Oh man... Fucking ow! Ugh...! My- my knee! Oh...
"What a crybaby."
"Man, Arin is always funny." Jaune said.
"Okay, next one!" Nova said.
Wingardium Leviosa (by OneyNG)
(Intro)
Teacher: So remember, children. It's Wingardium Leviosa. Swish and flick.
"Oh, I think I've seen that." Yang said.
Ron: Ah~, Wingardium Leviosa~. (Raises Hermione's cloak and skirt and reveals her panties.)
Hermione: Stop it, Ron~. Stop~.
Some of them laughed.
"Yeah, that's it!"
"What is that?!" Weiss said.
Ron: Uh huh~, Wingardium Leviosa~.
Hermione: Stop~.
(Professor Snape enters the class.)
Snape: Ronald Weasley... It's Leviosah~.
They all laughed.
"No, stop it!" Pyrrha said while laughing.
Ron: Ah~, Leviosah~.
Hermione: Stop~.
Ron: Ah~.
Snape: Ah~.
THE END
"Wait, that's it?" Ruby said.
"Wingardium Leviosah~. Where do they come up with that?" Yang said.
Racist Mario (by Flashgitz)
(Intro)
(It's Mario Kart! And Sonic too...)
Sonic: Ha ha ha. Here I come!
Luigi: Ha ha!
"What does Sonic have to do with Mario Kart?" Weiss said.
(We now see Knuckles, who's being bumped by Mario.)
Knuckles: Now listen here, mister. I don't mean no trouble.
"Why do they always portray Knuckles as a black person?" Yang said.
Mario: (holding a Bomb-Omb) Go back to your own console!
"Oookay, now the title makes sense." Jaune said.
"I hate this already." Blake said.
Knuckles: But sir, I don't even have my own console. We're multi-platform now.
(Back with Sonic and Luigi, an explosion was heard. They saw Knuckles's head flying next to them.)
"Holy shit!" Yang said.
"He killed him!" Ruby said.
"Why is it so graphic?!" Weiss said.
Sonic: Knuckles?!
Luigi: It must be Mario! He just... He takes racing too seriously!
Peach: (with a black eye) He takes everything too seriously...
"Oh my god!" Pyrrha said.
"What is this?!"
Mario: You motherfuckers invite non-Nintendo characters onto my track?!
(Then Anakin Skywalker goes next to him.)
Anakin: Now this is Podracing!
"Now Star Wars?" Jaune said.
(Mario throws a fireball at him and he crashes. He screams in pain while burning.)
Some of them laughed.
"It's just like in the movie!"
Luigi: Holy shit! He's killing all the non-Nintendo racers!
Sonic: What is he? Some kind of racist?
(Emperor Palpatin comes and unzips his cloak to take a piss on Anakin.)
"Oh come on!" he said while laughing.
Mario: You're not Nintendo! You're... You're Pretendo! You're all... RACE-TRAITORS!
(Mario takes an item box. Not the item. The box.)
Yoshi: Yoshi! (Mario breaks the item box on his head.) AH! OH MY GOD! AAAAAAAAAH! THERE'S FUCKING GLASS IN MY EYES! AAAAH! OH MY GOD, IT HURTS! IT HURTS SO BAD! (Yoshi crashes after shitting tons of eggs.)
They all laughed again.
"No, why Yoshi...?" Ruby said.
"Why Yoshi? He is a Nintendo character." Ren said.
(Mario's item is a huge banana. He sees Donkey Kong ahead.)
"No, please no..." Yang said.
Mario: 23 years of jumping barrels... 23 FUCKING YEARS!
(He approaches Donkey Kong. Then he shoves it up his ass, until it comes out of his mouth.)
"Why are you making us watch this?!" Weiss said.
Luigi: Oh god! Oh fuck! Oh fuck! OH FUCK!
Mario: Luigi~! (Gets a Bullet Bill) I'm comin' for ya, nigga.
"Oh no." Yang said.
"Once you go black, you never go back." Nora said.
(Mario hit Sackboy. He already got to Sonic.)
Sonic: Wait! Mario! Think of our history!
Mario: So, you like to go fast, huh?
(He grabs Sonic by the neck and stops before a boost pad.)
"I'm can't watch!" Ruby said, covering her eyes.
Sonic: PLEASE, MARIO! NO, WHAT ARE YOU DOI-
(He puts Sonic's on the booster pad and it gets rubbed so hard, it destroys the skin and flesh, making the bone screech.)
"Holy shit!" Yang said.
"Oh god, the sound the bones make!" Blake said.
(Mario lets Sonic, making him spin until he skids to a halt. Then he gets captured by a Pokeball.)
Some of them laughed.
"Like a Pokémon!" Yang said.
Ash: Alright! I caught it! Now it's mine and I can force it to do whatever I want! (He starts laughing like a maniac, takes off his clothes and rubs his nipples.)
"What the fuck?" Blake said while laughing like the rest.
(Luigi was avoiding Mario's fireballs.)
Luigi: Mario, stop! We're brothers!
Mario: I have no brother...
(He was about to throw another fireball, but it got extinguished by one of the Blades of Rage, which also killed Luigi.)
"What the...?! Those are the weapons from God of War!" Ruby said.
Kratos: Mario!
"It's Kratos, baby!" Yang said.
"Boy!" Nora said.
"Boy!"
Mario: Oh shit, it's Kratos. Fuck you, Kratos! (Kratos gets angry) You PlayStation characters never learn! (He pulls out Crash's head. He throws it at Kratos, who catches it with his mouth and crushes it. Mario gets an SMG and starts shooting.)
Mario: SUCK MY MUSHROOM TIP, YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCH! (He misses all of his shoots and runs out of ammo.)
"How could you miss?!" Ruby said.
(He goes up to Toad.)
Toad: Oh, hey Mario.
(Mario rips off his head and eats it.)
They all laughed.
"RIP Toad." Yang said.
(Mario then becomes a giant.)
Mario: Nintendo POWER!
(The whole fight turns into a quick time event. Mario throws fireballs and Kratos avoids them.)
"It became a QTE! Mario is dead."
(He jumps of his kart and climbs on Mario. And then... the screen turns black. It then shows Mario's head stuck on a metal rod, with his eyes removed, next to Pac-Man's.)
"Oh my god...!" Weiss said.
"Wait, why's Pac-Man there?!" Ruby said.
(Then it shows the result screen, with Peach and Daisy, topless, sitting on Kratos's back.)
"My boy, Kratos gets all the ladies." Yang said.
"And then they do the sex minigame." Nova said.
"That was... actually good. If the gore was more detailed, it would've been better." Ren said.
"Okay, next!" Nova said.
LUIGI'S DAY OUT (by hotdiggedydemon)
(Mario was going to exit the house.)
"Is that Mario?" Pyrrha said.
"Why does he look like an angsty teen?" Weiss said.
Mario's mom: Mario~.
Mario: *groan* What, ma?
They laughed a little.
Mario's mom: Are you going out, sweetie?
Mario: Yeaah, I gotta save the princess, ma!
Mario's mom: Don't you be a dear and take your brother Luigi with you?
(Luigi, who's playing with his toy cars, gets excited.)
"Oh my god...". Some of them laughed.
"Why did they made him a dork?" Jaune said.
"Wait, why both of them have mustaches if they're kids?" Weiss said.
"Maybe they're not." Nora said.
Mario: Oh, come on, ma! He's such a baby!
Mario's mom: He is not a baby. You never know. He could help you fight that big dragon.
Mario: His name is Bowser, ma. You don't know anything about what I do, okay? You don't get it.
Mario's mom: I don't see what the harm in taking him would be. He just wants to save the princess too.
Mario: He's a fucking dork, ma, everyone makes fun of him! (Luigi gets sad)
"Aww, poor Luigi. I've been in his place, before." Ruby said.
"Really?" Blake said.
"I brought Ruby once with me to hang out with my friends. Ruby got excited and started talking about weapons, and they started making fun of her." Yang said.
"That's strange. Usually kids get excited when it's about guns." Nova said.
"Yeah, but Ruby is... Ruby."
"Hey!" Ruby said.
"Anyway, when I realised what happened, I broke any relationship I had with them... and gave them a wedgie. No one makes fun of my sister."
"Aww, thank, sis.". They hugged each other.
"Wow, you even ruined your friendship for her." Pyrrha said.
"I would do anything for Ruby. Besides, they were jerks. There wasn't anyone else to hang out." Yang said.
Mario's mom: Mario, you know I don't like that language in this house. I don't care how many princesses you save, I am still your mother. Now take your brother with you. This isn't up for debate.
Mario: *sigh* Come on, Luigi.
Luigi: Yay! I'm-a gonna go on an adventure! (He gets up but slips on his toy car and falls on his face. Mario sighs and facepalms.)
Some of them laughed a little.
(Later, we see Mario and Luigi hanging out on the streets.)
Mario: You gonna tell mom I was smoking?
Luigi: No, Mario. I'm-a not gonna tell.
Mario: Yeah, you better not or I'll kick your ass! Anyway, just keep your mouth shut, scrote. Here come the guys.
"Did he just called him scrote?" Yang said and started laughing.
(Waluigi and Daisy enter the scene.)
Waluigi: Sup, dude?
"Whoa, Waluigi and Daisy?" Jaune said.
"Wait, why Waluigi and not Wario?" Ruby said.
Mario: Hey.
Daisy: Why'd you bring the kid?
Mario: Cause my mom is a fucking idiot!
Waluigi: So, what's on the agenda?
Mario: I'm supposed to get Peach out of Bowser's shithole, but I'm probably gonna blow it off. I don't give enough of a fuck today.
"Woooow, Mario's a big jerk." Blake said.
Daisy: You wanna jump the fence at the Country Club and use the pool?
Mario: Nah, we did that two days ago.
Waluigi: You wanna go hang out at Cody's house?
Mario: Oh Cody is a piece of shit! I'm so tired of that asshole. Come on, you guys. I don't want to just fuck around today, you know. I want to do something.
(He sees Luigi just... idling and drooling.)
They laughed a little.
"No, not Luigi!" Ruby said.
(A fly sits on his nose. He sucks his drool and he goes to hit the fly... but hits his face instead.)
They laughed again. They didn't want to but they did.
Mario: Hey, you guys want to see something really funny?
(Later, in front of a pit.)
Mario: I'm telling you, scrote. The princess is down there. You gotta jump into the pit to save her.
"Please, don't fall for that." Jaune said.
Luigi: Are you sure about this-a, Mario?
Mario: And guess what else, buddy. She told me she really wants to make out with you. (Luigi gets a poggers face and the copter on his hat spins.)
Somw of them laughed.
Luigi: Oh boy! Don't worry, princess! Here comes-a Luigi! (He jumps into the pit and dies. Mario and Waluigi laugh.)
They laughed again.
"It's so mean!" Ruby said while laughing.
(Later, they all run away from the Angry Sun.)
Mario: The sun wants to be your friend, dude! When it comes down, give it a high five!
"Oh my god." Blake said, not believing this.
"He can see that the sun is angry!" Weiss said.
(Luigi raises his hand. The sun comes down, and touches Luigi, leaving only his bottom half and his spine, still running, while Mario and Waluigi laugh.)
Everyone winced watching him.
(Later, with Luigi holding a purple mushroom.)
Mario: Don't worry, dude. The purple mushrooms are the best ones. They give you super powers.
"It has a skull and bones on it!" Weiss said.
"Or a pirate power." Nora said.
"It's not a power." Ren said.
(Luigi swallows it whole. Purple foam was leaking form his mouth and his stomach melted, creating a giant hole. Mario and Waluigi kept laughing.)
Everyone was shocked.
(What follows next is a montage of Luigi getting hit, squashed, stung, stabbed, cut, shot, eaten, scared, falling, impaled, more and more.)
"How many lives does he have? Infinite?" Yang said.
(At the end, he was holding a Bomb Omb, ready to explode.)
Some of them laughed a little.
"Throw it. Throw. It." Weiss said.
(He was waiting... and waiting... until it explodes.)
They all laughed.
(Later, they were in Bowser's castle, in front of a door.)
Mario: Alright, scrote. The princess is definitely behind this door.
Luigi: Will you promise, Mario?
Mario: Luigi, please. I would never lie to you.
"What is behind the door?" Ruby said.
"Bowser probably. And then he eats his head." Yang said.
(Luigi was about to open the door. He opens it and sees a scary looking Bowser. After that, he closes the door. He was so scared, his colors drained. Mario and Waluigi were laughing.)
They didn't want to laugh but they laughed.
"Poor Luigi, man."
(Luigi walked to Mario with his pants wet.)
Luigi: Mario, I had an accident...
Mario: Oh geez, did you piss yourself?! You dumbass geek. Alright guys, I gotta take this baby home so mommy can give him some clean underoof. (He started leaving.) Go figure. Another day ruined by my annoying, idiot brother- (Luigi makes him trip and fall down the stairs. And there were many of them.)
Everyone was speechless. Then they applauded.
"Nice." Yang said.
"Good work." Nora said.
"It was about time." Blake said.
"That jerk deserved it." Ruby said.
Daisy: Nice one. That guy is such a loser.
"Then why you hanged out with him?" Pyrrha said.
Mario: (groaning) Ohh... Oh, my back...
Daisy: So, what do you think, kid? You wanna get really fucked up?
Luigi: Oh... Okay.
"I'm worried now." Jaune said.
Daisy: (gets something) Open wide, big boy. (Luigi opens his mouth and she gives him a "1-UP".)
"Oh my god..." Weiss said.
"Well, Luigi is going on an adventure now." Yang said.
"More like an acid trip." Blake said.
(Then Luigi went on an acid trip. In that trip, they get in a van, destroy private property, buy some booze and drinking, Luigi getting a tattoo-)
"He's even getting a tattoo?!" Pyrrha said.
(-running ove something, seeing that its a Yoshi, throwing the body on a bush-)
"No, not the Yoshi!" Ruby said.
(-going to a club, Luigi dancing with Daisy, and she slowly sliding down to his crotch.)
They all laughed.
"What an adventure!" Nora said.
"He probably had the time of his life." Yang said.
(In the next morning, at Mario's house.)
Mario: For the last time, ma! I don't know where he is!
Mario's mom: Well, where did you see him last?!
(We go in Mario's room. His mom is paacing around, Mario is playing on his guitar.)
Mario: I told you, he left with Daisy. Ugh.
"What a shitty brother. He doesn't care at all."
Mario's mom: Should I call the police again? Maybe they found him and they just haven't called me yet! Oh, I shouldn't let him go, this is all my fault, he's such a sensitive boy...
"It was your fault you let him be with Mario." Blake said.
Mario: Ma, wherever the little scrote is, I'm sure he's fine.
"And he calls him that in front of his mother!" Weiss said.
Mario's mom: I should have got him a cellphone, I knew I should have got him a cellphone. Oh, will the police be annoyed if I called them again? Oh, I wish your father was here he'd know what to do.
Mario: Hey, ma. You know what will cheer you up? (He farts and then laughs.)
Everyone was shocked.
"Unbelievable...!" Pyrrha said.
"That little bastard...!" Yang said.
(His mom slaps him.)
Mario: Oww, geeeez...
"Thank you." Weiss said.
Mario's mom: Was it too much to ask that you brought your brother with you? For crying out loud, Mario, he can't take care of himself. He's only 35!
"Wait, what?" Yang said and she started laughing like the rest.
Mario: Hey, someone's pulling up outside.
Mario's mom: Oh my goodness, that might be him! (She quickly goes outside. The van leaves, leaving Luigi lying on the ground, naked.
They laughed again.
Mario's mom: Luigi! Luigi, is that you?!
Mario: Ah, for crying out loud.
(Luigi wakes up and he sees his tattoo, which was saying "Daisy's Bitch", still bleeding.)
They laughed again.
"Bruh!"
"How is it still fresh?" Blake said .
GAME OVER, SCROTE!
"Game over, scrote!" Yang said and laughed even more.
Viewer: Ha ha! Wtf did I just watch?
A CARTOON ON THE INTERNET
"Boy, that was something else." Yang said.
"Great. Now that we're done with the small stuff, it's time for the main dish." Nova said.
And done! Like, follow, leave a review AND NOT A REQUEST, send me a PM if you want and READ THE NOVA FORCE. See you soon!