A/N: I think Sasha Banacheck might believe that ownership of Chuck is a remnant of a dying capitalist system destined by the inevitable progress of human advancement to the scrap heap of history. But, capitalist that I am, I would take issue with her about that.
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There was a naked woman asleep on the bed face down, not covered by a sheet or blanket. There was another naked woman asleep on her back on the floor next to the bed. Also face down and also naked, was Roan Montgomery, his head pillowed by the belly of the naked woman on the floor. His left hand was clutching the neck of a bottle of Bombay Sapphire gin. He seemed to be sleeping peacefully.
Montgomery's body was composed of lean muscle, but had maybe a half dozen scars that they could see. And that was just the back side of the man. Amy said to Sarah, "Is he wearing briefs?"
"No, that's his butt. The rest is tan."
"Wow. That's quite the tan." The skin color was in stark contrast to his white hair and backside.
"Yeah," Sarah agreed.
"Quite the tight butt, too," Amy said quietly. Sarah just rolled her eyes and chuckled in response.
"Come on," said Casey to Chuck. "Time for Romeo to wake up."
Chuck and Casey walked into the room through the open door. Casey took the blue glass bottle from Montgomery's hand and set it on an end table next to the bed.
"What are we going to do?" asked Chuck.
"Quick dip in the pool. In this state don't let him go or he could drown," said Casey.
"Ok," he said, taking Montgomery's right arm. Casey took his left and at a nod both men lifted Montgomery from the floor and slung his arms over their shoulders. They carried him out of the bedroom towards the pool, his head drooping down onto his chest, bouncing slightly as they walked.
Amy looked down at the woman sleeping on the floor. "No way those are real," she said to Sarah, in a whisper.
Sarah followed Amy's gaze and said, with a slightly stunned voice, "They are completely defying gravity. What the hell?"
Chuck and Casey carried the naked Montgomery towards the pool. Unexpectedly, Montgomery's right foot moved up to plant itself in front of Chuck's legs. Chuck started to trip over the man's leg. He was helped along by a hard shove to the left from Montgomery's right arm on his shoulders, sending the falling Chuck into the path of Casey's legs. Chuck felt the pistol being lifted from its holster at his back as he went down.
A hard shove from Montgomery pitched Casey down on top of Chuck. As the two men were trying to untangle himself and Casey was trying to draw his gun, Montgomery stepped back and pointed the pistol at both of them.
His eyes opened wide with surprise. "Frankenstein?" he said. He looked down at the pistol in his hand. "A trank pistol? Oh, come on," he said with disgust, lowering the weapon. He looked at Chuck. "Grow a pair, kid. For fuck's sake." He tossed the trank pistol back to Chuck, stepped around the men on the ground and dove into the pool.
Amy and Sarah stepped out of the house with their guns drawn as they saw the flurry of action on the pool deck.
Casey and Chuck got up. Casey had a fierce scowl. If Chuck had been carrying a real pistol and Montgomery had been a real bad guy, they would have been dead.
Montgomery swam smoothly back and forth a couple times then easily levered himself out of the pool. Amy and Sarah noticed that he was totally ripped, with six-pack abs. He ran his hands through his hair, to push it back off his forehead. Dripping water, he walked naked past Chuck and Casey, not even bothering to look at them, and into the bedroom, passing Amy and Sarah who had holstered their weapons by that point. They noticed that his front had as many scars as his back.
"Morning, ladies," he said as he passed them. They didn't respond, too surprised by his insouciance.
As they watched, he walked over to the end table, picked up the bottle of gin and took two or three large swallows of the clear liquor. Putting the bottle down, he walked around the woman on the floor and headed into the bathroom.
Team B stayed outside and turned their backs to give the people in the bedroom some privacy.
Coming out from the bathroom a moment later dressed in a blue terrycloth robe, he held a second robe in his hand. He bent down to the sleeping woman on the bed and rubbed her gently on her shoulder. He kissed her on the cheek and whispered in her ear, "Wake up, Suse. Wake up, darling. We have company." He continued to rub her shoulder lightly.
She stirred and turned her head towards him. "Mmmmm." She kissed him and said, "Company?"
She sat up and looked out the door to the pool deck, looking at Amy and Sarah. She began to smile, seemingly unconcerned by her own nakedness. But then her eyes shifted to take in Casey and Chuck. The smile left her face, to be replaced by … something...fear, anger...maybe even dread. She quickly looked away before Montgomery could see her face and took the robe that he offered her. Standing up and shrugging it on, she gave him another kiss and said, "Roan, why don't you take your friends to the living room? I'll see Brandi out. Let you guys talk."
"Ok. Thanks, darling," he said.
He stepped out onto the pool deck and gestured for them to follow him. Sliding open another door, he led them to a comfortable living room. He took a seat in an easy chair and crossed his legs. On the table next to him were an ashtray, a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He made use of them as Team B found seats.
Chuck said, "Agent Montgomery..."
"Mister. I haven't been an agent for four years."
"Yes, sorry. Mr. Montgomery..."
"How did you find me?" he asked, blowing smoke at the ceiling.
"That's not important now, Sir. What's..."
"It's fucking well important to me, kid. How did you find me?"
Chuck paused. "Your pension check. I followed the money."
"No. Julius Keller is one of the oldest banks in Switzerland and I have some very good friends there. If you'd made any inquiry at all, I'd know about it."
"I didn't make an inquiry. I hacked into their systems to access your account."
"You hacked into their computers? You did?" he asked in surprise.
"Yes," said Chuck with understated confidence. He was leaning forward in his seat, elbows on knees, his attention focused on Montgomery.
After a few moments, Montgomery took another drag on his cigarette, looking hard at Chuck, and said, "Go on."
"The account is swept on a regular basis to a bank in Nevis and from there to a bank here in Maui. The bank in Maui is drained by check, which is deposited in another bank in Maui, one across town. That's the one you use as your day-to-day bank under the name Dan Fielding. But Fielding had no income, no property, and no car. The Fielding Hawaii driver's license had a bullshit mail drop as the address. But Fielding used ATM's for cash, like the rest of us. And ATM's have cameras. On one I saw a car waiting for you to finish your transaction. I couldn't get the license number, but I had the time and the location, so I used recordings from local traffic cameras and got the license plate that way. From there it was easy to find Ms. Case's house here. Once I knew what to look for, I was able to catch sight of the two of you around town together over a number of days, so I knew it wasn't a fluke or a one-off. And once Mr. Fielding used his debit card to have a piece of furniture delivered here. Very domestic."
"And you did all that without leaving your keyboard?"
"Well, yes, I did," said Chuck.
He looked at Chuck with a neutral expression, but with hard intelligent eyes. "Which one are you?" asked Montgomery after a few moments studying Chuck.
"What?"
"Which one?" Montgomery took a deep pull of his cigarette. "There are only a handful of hackers on the planet who are capable of the performance you just described. Unless we've been breeding them like crazy for the last four years, I guess. So, Joker, Crypto, Piranha, Zigzag90, one of the others? Which one are you?"
Chuck paused and said "Piranha."
There was the sound of a car leaving from the front of the house. Presumably Brandi was departing.
Montgomery took another drag of his cigarette, nodding his head. "And now you're on the side of the angels?"
"I was never NOT on the side of the angels, Mr. Montgomery."
"Fair enough. Ok. Thanks. I can close a hole in my security, now. Have you told Beckman where to find me?"
"No, Sir, we haven't. We were hoping you could..."
"Well, don't, but thanks for coming," said Montgomery. "Nice meeting you all. Knock next time so I can avoid you."
"We did knock, Montgomery. You were passed out on the floor and didn't hear it," said Casey.
"You're still pissed that I failed you, aren't you? Or maybe it's my nickname for you, Frankenstein. Man up, Franky."
Casey growled at Montgomery.
Chuck spoke again. "Mr. Montgomery, please hear us out. We came a long way to talk to you."
"No, kid. You want me to come help you stop some bad guy from doing some bad shit. And I'm specially suited for it. No one but me can stop them. The fate of the world...blah, blah, blah. Forget it. I'm done."
"Well, Sir. Yes. That's what I was going to tell you..."
"And I'm telling you to save your breath. Have you seen where I am? Who I'm with? I spend every day surfing or making love to a beautiful woman. I'm surrounded by peace and flowers. The weather is always perfect and the islands are the most wonderful place in the world. I served my country and have the scars to prove it. I was lucky to get out alive. I'm not going anywhere. I am in fucking paradise, kid. There is no way you will get me to leave. Get me back into the game. No fucking way."
He stopped as Ms. Case came into the room. She had changed into a lovely Hawaiian sundress, brushed out her dark hair and put on makeup and she looked stunning. She carried a tray containing coffee and cups, cream and sugar, and a large pitcher with a clear liquid. The pitcher was sweating with condensation. She put down the tray on a coffee table, picked up the pitcher, a bowl of olives, and a single martini glass and put them down next to Montgomery, who thanked her. Martinis for breakfast, thought Chuck.
Once done, she looked at Team B with a smile and said, "Hi. I'm Susie Case." Team B stood up and introduced themselves one by one.
"Well, it's very nice to meet you all. Please continue with Roan. I didn't mean to interrupt, but a hostess has her duties, you know." Her smile didn't reach her eyes. She seemed to be struggling very hard to keep her composure. She gave Montgomery a quick kiss and left the way she had come in. Montgomery watched her leave with a tiny frown.
When she had left Montgomery said, "Walker. I know you. You're Langston's protégée. That makes this a combined unit. CIA and NSA. That's exceptional. Why were you stood up?"
He poured himself a martini from the pitcher and downed it in a single swallow, grabbing an olive to snack on.
"Sir, there's a lot going on. If you are determined to stay here as a civilian, I'm afraid we can't share any of the developments with you, as grave as they are. You no longer have the clearances to hear about the threats the nation is facing...the internal threats," said Chuck.
"Internal? That's the FBI's jurisdiction. What are the CIA and NSA doing involved in something like that?"
"Please, Mr. Montgomery. I am not going to engage in twenty-questions with you until you learn what you want. You are much too formidable for me to try to best you in that kind of game. I'm sorry, Sir. If you want to learn why we came to you to take you to Miami...why you are particularly suited...exactly why we have to stop Sasha Banacheck from selling ….Ughh..." Chuck cut himself off abruptly with a look of chagrin, shaking his head.
Montgomery had been sitting calmly, thoroughly relaxed. At the mention of Banacheck he didn't move a muscle and the expression on his face didn't change in the slightest, but suddenly the room seemed charged with energy, like the air before a lightning strike. It almost crackled.
"Sasha? I thought she was in prison," he said. His deep voice was calm and pleasant, but reminded Chuck of the call of a martial trumpet nonetheless.
"I'm sorry, Sir. That was a slip of the tongue. I shouldn't have mentioned her name," said Chuck.
"And what's she up to now? Visiting old friends?"
"I'm afraid I couldn't say, Sir."
"How do you know? How did you find out about the sale?"
"Mr. Montgomery, you know I can't answer that," said Chuck with a shrug.
Montgomery smoked his cigarette a little bit more, his gaze on a spot on the far wall of the room. Chuck didn't interrupt the silence as the older man thought and smoked.
"What's she selling?" asked Montgomery.
Chuck smiled to himself, thinking the bait had been swallowed. "Something we don't want sold."
"Why? Who are the buyers?" Montgomery poured and drank another martini and ate another olive.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Montgomery. Without your agreement to accompany us to South Beach, I cannot tell you that. I'm sure you understand." This was it, thought Chuck. His curiosity has got to be fierce.
"Miami, you said?"
"Yes, Sir."
Montgomery sat for a little longer, smoking. Once the cigarette was almost finished he ground it out in his ashtray and stood up. "Awright. Let's go. What time's our flight?"
"We have a Citation X and crew at our disposal. We take off when we want to," said Chuck.
"No kidding?" Montgomery paused and looked at them. "A combined team with some of the top spies in America, the Piranha, and a dedicated jet. You guys are hot shit for sure. Must be a big deal. I'll be back." He left the room.
Once they were alone, Amy said, "Ok. How'd you do that, Chuck? I felt for sure he was going to tell us to take a hike, but you did your magic. And you didn't even tell him why. How'd you do that?"
"I was going to tell him the whole story, but when he already had the shape of it and said no anyway, I decided to try something else. I gave him just enough to pique his curiosity, and no more. For thirty years he was the keeper of secrets. Can you imagine how frustrating it must be for him to have secrets kept from him?" said Chuck.
Laughing, Amy said, "You are a certified genius, partner."
Sarah said, "I think the name Sasha Banacheck had a big effect as well."
"Did you feel that also? It was like the room started to vibrate or something," said Chuck.
"It's what you get with the best agents," said Casey. "It's almost an aura or something when they switch on."
The rest of the team looked at him in surprise. "What?" he said. "I'm as sensitive as the next guy."
Susie Case returned and began to clean up the coffee set up and martini pitcher. She was silent and had red eyes and tear stained cheeks. Sarah rushed forward and said, "Here. Let me help you."
She followed Ms. Case into the kitchen, carrying some of the coffee cups. Once alone Sarah said to her, "It won't be long. Just a couple of days and he'll be back."
"No. No, he won't. He won't be back. You have him now," she said, her voice strangled, her hands clenched into fists.
"No, I don't. I'm not..."
"Not you. Not you personally. I mean you people. You have him. Back in your world. I knew it would happen. I knew it. He won't come back to me. Every day I woke up and prayed that it would be tomorrow. But today...it's today." She started to sob.
Sarah took the other woman into a reassuring hug and made a silent vow to return Montgomery to her no matter what.
Ms. Case thanked Sarah and shook her off, running her fingers under her eyes to wipe away any makeup runs. "I have to stop. I can't be a mess when he leaves. I don't want him to remember me this way." She took a couple of deep breaths and tried a smile. "How do I look?" she asked Sarah.
"The most beautiful woman in Hawaii," said Sarah, with a kind smile. "And that's a high bar."
Ms. Case gave her arm a playful slap and moved with her back to the living room.
At just that moment, Roan Montgomery came out of the bedroom. He was dressed in a well-fitting custom-made blue suit, complete with pocket square. His tie was silver with a subdued design. His shoes were so well shined that the room's lights glittered off them. He carried a brown leather satchel, that had the marks of long use. Amy and Sarah looked at each other and raised their eyebrows. Wow.
He went to Susie Case and said, "I promise. Just a couple of days. Just a quick job and I'm right back. I promise."
"I know, Roan. I know. Just be safe," she said.
"Oh, it's not that kind of thing. Perfectly safe. I'm a retired old man, Susie. Nothing exciting," he said with a smile.
"I know."
They walked out together to the CIA minivan. Roan put on his sunglasses and threw his bag in the back, They all said their goodbyes to Ms. Case. Roan gave her a resounding kiss and a smile. He whispered something to her and she replied. She smiled and waved as the van made the turn onto the road.
Then she went back into her beautiful home in paradise and cried nonstop for hours.
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"Seduction," said Roan. "That's the way to get close to her. And that means you, Carmichael."
"There's got to be another choice," said Chuck.
"Yeah. Chuck is an analyst, not a trained agent. You can't throw him into that," said Sarah. "Not only is it not safe for him, it puts the entire mission at risk."
"I'm not sending in Franky and she knows me. She doesn't like girls so that leaves the two of you out. He's the last man standing, as it were. Even if he's just an analyst who carries a toy gun."
Once the jet was airborne, Chuck had briefed Roan on what they knew about Banacheck and what they knew about Fulcrum. He took the news regarding Banacheck in stride. The news about Fulcrum, however, had shaken him badly. After they had answered his questions, they got down to planning the operation to stop the sale from occurring.
"Look, Mr. Montgomery..."
"Call me Roan," he said, pouring himself a gin over ice from the plane's bar. That made five of the little bottles he'd consumed since take-off. His liver must look like camouflage, thought Chuck. Nevertheless, he seemed perfectly sober.
Chuck said, "Ok, Roan. She's a trained KGB agent. There's got to be a better way than seducing her, even if I could do it. To stop the sale of the schematics we need to get them from her before she can turn them over to Fulcrum. Ok. We wait til she's out of her room and search it."
"No. She's Russian. She won't trust anything of value to her room, even the room safe. She'll assume we can toss it twice a day every day."
"So, the hotel safe," said Chuck.
"No. Even worse. Do you have any idea how easy it is to bribe your way into a hotel safe? Well, she does. Whatever she has, she'll keep on her."
"Ok. But it's Miami Beach. She's got to go in the pool or the ocean or something, right? We can have access to her stuff then," said Chuck.
"No. If she doesn't take it with her into the water, she'll have muscle with her to get the job done. She's trained not to do this stuff solo. I'm guessing three or four goons with her, depending on her budget. One of them will babysit her stuff when she's taking a dip."
"Well, we don't have to seduce her, Roan. I mean I can use my...toy gun, to put her to sleep. We can get what we need from that."
"Look, Chuck, I can tell you are uncomfortable with a seduction mission..."
"I'm just trying to explore our alternatives," Chuck said.
"Ok. So, you don't want to actually 'consummate,'" he used air quotes for the word, "...the seduction. Ok, but you have to get her away from her men without starting a gunfight. And that means you have to get her in private long enough to knock her out somehow. Maybe you think you can get her in private by talking about computers or something else you know about, but I wouldn't bet on that. And, once you manage to do that, you have to knock her out. Forget hand to hand, she'd kill you. No way she lets you near her with your gun, or any gun for that matter, so forget that too. Exactly how do you plan to do all of that? Let me give you a hint. There's a tried and true method to accomplish exactly what we have to accomplish. You seduce her. She's a beautiful woman. I don't know why you are so resistant to the idea."
"Well, it so happens that I..."
"Wait a second," interrupted Roan. "Are you a virgin? I mean, I'm not here to judge, Kid. I'm sure there's a perfectly good reason."
As Roan was busy teasing Chuck, he failed to notice the looks on the faces of the other three members of the team.
"Have you even kissed a woman? Are you worried about that? Because there are courses you can take for that sort of thing. A lot of online ones, I hear. I mean, many of them are porn sites or involve you licking the inside of your own elbow..."
"Roan, I'm perfectly solid in that department. That's not an issue at all," said Chuck.
"Really? Well, let's see, ok? How about you show me? Let's see you kiss a beautiful woman. Agent Walker, for example. Let's see how you do if you try to kiss Agent Walker. I can see she's engaged, but her fiancée won't mind, I'm sure."
Roan sensed the humorous undercurrent in the plane's cabin, but attributed it Chuck's embarrassment.
"I don't think that's necessary, Roan. I mean, not here in front of everyone. You know, PDA and all. It might be uncomfortable," said Chuck.
"Well, I for one will not be embarrassed. So, please. Show me," said Roan. "Agent Walker, if you wouldn't mind." He made a gesture of invitation to Sarah in Chuck's direction.
"Well, if you insist, Roan," said Sarah, doing her best to keep a straight face. She approached Chuck and said, "You ok with this?"
"I guess I can suffer through it," he replied, deadpan.
She leaned forward and brought her lips to his. The kiss began chastely but accelerated from there. After a few moments they put their arms around each other. Amy, in her seat, began to giggle. It became obvious that their mouths were open and tongues working. Sarah took her arms from around him, hiked up her skirt and climbed onto his lap on the cabin's seat, pressing her chest against his and wrapping him in her arms again. They began to moan. After a few moments more, she extended her left hand towards Roan. The engagement ring twinkled in the light.
Casey was laughing out loud by this point and said, "The wedding's gonna be at the end of December, Montgomery."
Roan looked at the team as Chuck and Sarah turned their heads towards him, grinning with mischief, and then turned his head to look out the window at the ocean below. "You people suck," he said in a disgusted tone.
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Sometime later night had fallen and they were over land, probably Mexico. Amy and Casey were sleeping. Sarah was reading a contract for Carmichael Industries and Chuck was fiddling with his trank gun, which he seemed to have disassembled. Roan was looking out the window of the plane at the lights below, looking tired and sad. He had finished all of the gin in the plane's bar, but Chuck didn't think that's what was making him sad.
There was a tone from Chuck's computer. He turned to it and saw the alert.
"Casey, Amy, wake up. Graham's got a video conference starting for us."
Once the other two had roused themselves and assembled with Chuck and Sarah in front of his laptop, Chuck began the conference.
"Good evening, Sir."
"Evening, Team. Hey, Roan," called Graham.
From behind the others, Roan said, "Hey, Langston. Leave me off the guest list next time, huh?"
"Only special parties for you, old friend. You know this Banacheck woman better than anyone. And she's one nasty piece of work."
"I feel like an exterminator you only call when the really bad critters show up in your basement," grumbled Roan.
"Maybe. But you do have our thanks," said Graham.
"Save it til I do something. All I've managed to do so far is embarrass myself in front of your team of superstars here."
"Well, they are a forgiving lot...ok, not Casey, but the others," said Graham, laughing at his own joke. "Anyway, Team, I reached out on something else. Larkin is out of the hospital and the docs have certified him as fit for duty. I was very impressed with the work he's done since November. I met with him this afternoon. I offered him his choice of assignments..."
"And the son of a bitch wants to join us," growled Casey. "Wants to be part of this team."
"Exactly, Major. I told him I'd inform you of his request, but that the decision is yours and yours alone. I'm not going to influence you."
Chuck frowned with thought and finally said, "Well, he did do a great job with Delgado. Two of us know him really well..."
"I think it's a great idea," said Sarah. "Let's get him on the team."
"Really?" asked Chuck. He was surprised, knowing how Sarah felt about Bryce.
"Yup," she said with a grin, popping the "p."
"You just don't want me to do the seduction thing," he said.
"Ya think?" she said, maintaining her grin.
Roan said, "Larkin? Bryce Larkin?" When Sarah nodded, he said, "I remember him from the Farm. He'd be perfect for the seduction of Sasha. I don't mean to involve myself in your team's affairs, but for this mission, he's a great choice."
Amy said, "I don't even know the guy, but if you two don't have a problem with it, it's ok with me."
"Up to you, Big Guy," said Chuck. "Has to be unanimous."
"Yeah. His work with Fulcrum was solid, so he gets props for that. Ok. I'll go along with it, but he's only here on a probationary basis. If he pisses me off, for any reason, he's gone."
"Fair enough." Chuck turned back to the screen, where Graham was waiting for them to make the decision. "Ok, Sir. He can join us. Guess he'd better not piss off Casey, though."
Graham chuckled and said, "I think that's generally good advice for all of us, Chuck. I'll let Larkin know. I know he'll be pleased. You can expect him to meet you at the hotel in Miami tomorrow. Good luck with the Banacheck woman."
"Thank you, Sir." The connection was broken.
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A/N2: Is Roan out of character? Well, yeah, kind of. I couldn't square the comedic canon-Roan with his rep as a legendary and successful James Bond spy. My Roan is not going to be a goofball. He shares a taste for gin and ladies with the canon iteration, for sure, but is basically a serious (if slightly tragic) ex-spy.
A/N3: Yeah. I did it. I gave Bryce his choice of assignments and he picked Team B. How dare I? I wonder about that myself, actually. Hope you guys and gals will give me the benefit of the doubt as we go forward. I have some plans brewing. Let me know what you are thinking, please. And, if you get a chance, visit us at the Facebook page for Chuck fanfiction. It's a fun place to hang out. (Honestly, it's the only reason I still go on Facebook.)