The world was ripped away in an instant, and for a moment, Natsu couldn't figure out how or why. One moment, Natsu had been gathering his wits and control, confident that Lucy was safe and unharmed despite everything that had happened. Well, not any more harmed than she had been before he'd attacked Acnologia with everything he had. He'd felt something was wrong, as if something was eating away at that magic he hated oh, so much. The next moment, however…

It was as if someone had punched a hole in his gut. As if someone had taken out a piece that was fundamental to everything he was and turned it to ash before his very eyes. He was at a loss, grieving, but couldn't figure out why that was - until he went to find that little piece of Lucy that he'd carried within him for the last two and a half years.

It wasn't there.

The world went white, and it was as if there was cotton in his ears. Someone appeared and started speaking to him, but he didn't know who, nor did he hear what they were saying. It was a good, long moment before he could speak.

"Lucy?"

His tentative, disbelieving call silenced the one who'd been speaking to him. Jellal, whispered a little voice in his ear. It wasn't Lucy's voice. "Natsu?" Jellal prompted gently, as if he'd already guessed what had happened. The magic no longer ate at them.

Still in disbelief, stunned, Natsu turned wild, frantic eyes onto the Keeper of Visions. "Where is she? You were with her. Where's Lucy?" Jellal blinked, gesturing behind him, but Natsu knew without looking she was no longer there. In one swift motion, he'd snagged the Keeper by the front of his clothes and shook him, flames bursting to life. Rage sent the magic he'd just weakly leashed snapping, turning them black. "Where's Lucy?"

"Release him, Natsu," barked Erza, appearing with a knife in her hand. She looked reluctant, not wanting to hurt him, but her Keeper was at risk. "Wherever Lucy has gone, Jellal is not at fault. Release him. Now."

Natsu let go, and Jellal straightened, sympathy etched across his features. "I didn't know," he said softly, and it was answer enough.

Lucy was gone.

Natsu's knees buckled and he screamed, shoving his fingers into the rubble beneath him. It charred black and an out of control inferno suddenly exploded to life, rising higher and burning hotter as his scream rose and sang above the still dusk air.

He wished it would burn him away, too.

Natsu's temper was vicious. He didn't miss how people quieted when he stalked into the guildhall that day, after weeks of isolating himself following a rather brutal incident involving Mirajane. The usually gentle mythic had been beside herself for nearly a week, and Laxus had wanted so badly to tear Natsu apart. Only his knowledge on what Natsu was - that Natsu would very clearly win that confrontation - had stopped him.

Tar-like embers danced along his cheeks as he made a beeline for the meeting room, where he'd been summoned for the first time since Lucy had been lost. Makarov had excluded him for the last few meetings, deciding he'd not be helpful in his state. It had only made him angrier. After chasing off pookas and other mythics from the surrounding forests, it had meant he'd had nothing to distract him.

He didn't bother to warn them of his arrival. He merely threw the door open and ducked in, making everyone jump. "Natsu," Gildarts said by way of greeting, looking wary. He'd been the one to warn off Natsu when he'd gone after Mirajane.

Mirajane wouldn't even look at him.

Natsu found he could have cared less.

Silent, Natsu dropped into his seat, already studying the countless words he'd carved into the table. His expression darkened, disguising the agony that sliced through him when he recognized stories of some job he and Lucy had done. He could read her presence there in that table, and it was like a knife in his heart that she wasn't there beside him, warning him against teasing someone. Natsu rocked forward into a familiar position; his chin rested on the table, hands tucked beneath it. Happy leaped up to crouch beside him, not minding the flames that continuously flickered along his skin. When he was comfortable, he simply shot Makarov a look. He was ready to listen.

"When the new year begins," Makarov said, "I will be officially retiring, and Gildarts will take over the Fairy Tail guild."

A scoff escaped Gray. "What guild?" he muttered irritably. "The Council doesn't recognize us as a guild, remember?"

"Patience, Gray," murmured Gildarts. "We have to be careful about how we interact with the Council right now."

Natsu snorted, smoke puffing from his nose. "Just get rid of them. I doubt the civilians would care. They prefer us to the Council."

Makarov shot Natsu a small warning glare. Natsu returned it with a smoldering, blank expression. "They don't. That's the problem. Humans are turning away from us, and when they turn back, they bring weapons and violence, knowing we will not fight back. The era of trust between us is ending."

"It ended the day Acnologia showed up," muttered Natsu, and Gray shot him an angry look.

"Do you plan to be helpful or not?" snapped Gray, and Natsu bared his teeth briefly. Gray was the one he was angriest with; had Gray arrived sooner, maybe Lucy wouldn't have disappeared.

"Regardless," sighed Makarov, hastily moving on. "I will be retiring. Gildarts will elect new council members, or choose to keep who he pleases. I expect that there will be no disagreement or displeasure, regardless of the decisions he makes-"

Natsu interrupted. "I'm done," he reported, and no one seemed surprised by it. "Open up my spot."

They were surprised, however, when Gildarts looked him in the eye and said simply, "No."

Natsu bristled. "No?"

"No," confirmed Gildarts. "I need your backing if the Council shows up and tries anything. They don't like you, but they think twice about messing with you. They know that unlike almost any other person from a guild, you won't hesitate to retaliate."

Natsu clenched his jaw in frustration. He didn't want to do this anymore. Once a position he'd taken with smug pride, it was now filled with remnants of a life he couldn't have anymore. But he said nothing. As angry as he was with everything in the world, he liked the guild. He didn't want something to happen to it, which meant he'd have to stay.

He ignored the rest of the meeting as Gildarts discussed other matters with the rest of them. What to do about a chimera that was slowly moving its way south to Magnolia. What to do should the Council make its approach. What kind of celebration should be thrown to honor Makarov's time as guildmaster. When the meeting finally came to an end, Natsu shoved himself to his feet and left without a word, ignoring the rest of them as well as everyone in the guildhall.

He was exhausted, he found, simply from that small meeting. He stumbled a step, the emptiness in his chest ringing out louder than ever before. If he could just sleep - sleep forever, maybe, and not have to feel this pain anymore, he might have felt a flicker of the happiness he'd felt with Lucy. Just a sliver.

"It isn't something that will fade," a voice suddenly said softly, and Natsu stilled.

Mavis stood before him in the empty cobbled street. Her blonde hair shone silver in the moonlight, and she offered him a gentle smile. She looked whole, rather than the ghost she'd once been, and Natsu found himself wondering once again why she'd chosen just recently to make an appearance after nearly eight centuries of absence.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Mavis," he rumbled.

"The pain," she said softly. "The pain doesn't leave you. It is something you grow used to."

Natsu stared at her blankly, thinking of the agony that split through him so violently every few moments. Ever since Lucy had disappeared. "It's not like when someone dies," he rasped. "It's different. It's...we shared a soul and now she's gone." He remembered their conversation from oh, so long ago, when Lucy had explained how you could grieve for someone even if they weren't dead. He fully understood what she meant by that now.

Mavis smiled sympathetically and said, "You are immortal, Natsu. You will find her again. I'm certain of it."

"Maybe." Natsu scowled. The idea of having to live through century upon century alone….it didn't matter that he was in a town filled with people. He felt alone. None of them trusted him or cared for him as Lucy had. None of them had touched their soul to his. They weren't Lucy, and they never would be.

He couldn't live like that.

He didn't deserve to.

Fury swept through him and he snarled. "First Zeref," he choked out, "and then Igneel, and now Lucy. Why does everyone leave?" Tears burned in the backs of his eyes, and it only frustrated him further. He was the Demon King; he did not cry. Yet there were tears flowing down his cheeks now. "I have dealt with everything and the Fates won't let me have anything."

Mavis was in front of him now, her fingers sliding along his cheeks. She stood on her toes to reach, gaze full of sadness for him. "I'm sorry," was all she said, and his knees nearly buckled.

All Natsu could do was weep.

Never before had Natsu, the Demon King, found himself on his hands and knees retching, sweat dampening his skin as cold fear from a nightmare continued to plague him. He'd never felt such fear before. At least, he couldn't remember ever feeling so scared. Even when he'd taken Aries's exam, even when he'd been chained to the table and Zeref had stood over him.

His fingers tightened around the ring of golden keys, images flashing through his mind. He could remember the taste of the smoke, the heat of the black flames as they'd dragged buildings into Hell. He remembered the screams.

Worst of all, he remembered looking upon it all with joy. Let them feel what I feel, he'd thought.

"Your Keeper is not the only one who can see what the Fates offer, boy, and I look forward to seeing you become like me when you lose her because of your own stupidity."

Natsu retched again, shivering violently. Happy whimpered beside him, eyes round with worry, and after a moment, he rocked back. He dragged Happy into his lap and buried his face in Happy's fur, shaking in terror at the uncertainty that flickered to life.

They'd not been able to stop the Gate from falling. What did that mean for Crocus?

Would he, too, descend upon a city of innocents and tear them apart like Acnologia had, simply for the joy of it? Simply because there was no other way to erase the pain that festered in his chest?

Natsu sobbed, clutching Happy tighter, and mumbled pleas to the Fates, begging them to stop the future from coming.

The snow was a thick blanket on the ground when Natsu was confronted with Loke for the first time in six months. It was a surprise, actually, to find himself facing the familiar celestial spirit. It sent pain shooting through him, just as almost everything did. But this was worse, because he knew Lucy had loved Loke fiercely, just as she'd loved all of her celestial spirit companions.

Loke peered curiously around him, as if he'd not known where he'd appear. "Do you call the wilds your home now, Natsu? I'm sure Jellal would welcome you at his fortress, if you care for such surroundings." Natsu stared blankly at him, unamused. "The Eclipse Gate uses a lot of energy," he said by way of explanation. "It takes time for us to be capable of our usual abilities after such a thing. The Spirit King lent me some energy as it is to be capable of speaking with you."

"Why bother?" Natsu grumbled.

Loke snorted softly. "You're our Guardian, and we can feel your pain as clearly as if it were our own, Natsu." He pressed a hand over his chest. "We miss Lucy, too."

Natsu nearly snarled at him, frustrated. Not like he did. They couldn't possibly feel as he did. But he only clamped his jaw and glared, impatient for him to leave. "What do you want?"

"To tell you where Lucy went." Natsu stilled, staring at him with wary disbelief now, and Loke offered him a kind look. "I know where Lucy went when she disappeared. She fell from the sky over Crocus, twenty years ago."

Natsu had to sort through that information, confused. Finally he said, "I don't get it."

Every thought in his head vanished when Loke quietly drew an item from around his neck. Loke offered it to him, and Natsu took the familiar black amulet with care, his thumb smoothing fondly over the familiar demonic writing. He'd carved it himself, this old amulet. He recognized it, remembering how confused he'd been the first time he'd sensed his own faded spells and such. So this was what Leo had done; he'd exchanged Lucy's amulet for the one he'd carried. Natsu wasn't entirely sure why, but the why didn't matter. Not anymore.

"She went further back, to the time just before Layla died, Natsu," Loke said firmly. "And she gave that to me before she left again, because she thought it would help you feel better - and trust in her. She intended to find you again. She said as such before she went through the Gate once more."

Natsu was quiet for a long moment. He returned his gaze to Lucy's amulet, his fingers tightening around it as he touched the one she'd given him in turn. Fresh grief rippled over his skin. "You don't know where she went after that."

"No," admitted Loke. "I don't."

Natsu took a shaken breath. "This doesn't mean anything," he finally muttered, fingers tightening around the amulet. "She's still gone." He hurled the amulet away, anger shooting through him. Loke neatly snagged it, carefully placing it around his neck again. "Lucy is gone, and a stupid amulet doesn't mean anything."

"She said she'd go to where you needed her most," Loke told him.

"I need her now," snarled Natsu. "I've needed her for months, and she's still gone."

"Then maybe some other you needed her more."

Natsu found that hard to believe. Enough so that he barked out a laugh. "Whatever," he muttered. "She's not coming back. Not here, anyways." It hurt him to say it. To admit it aloud. It was something he'd kept far from his mind, but something he could no longer avoid. The anger seeped back in, latching on with cold vicious talons and ripping at his chest until he felt as if he'd been flayed open.

He understood why Acnologia had done what he'd done. The nightmare that had begun to plague him every night rolled through his head, and he shook it desperately. He understood the pain that had driven Acnologia insane, that had sent him on a chaotic path to bring Anna back. And the fact that Natsu thought himself capable of doing the same… The mere thought scared him more than anything else ever had.

"I'm done," he breathed. "I'm done trying when all the Fates do is take things from me."

"Natsu…" Loke warned quietly.

But he wasn't listening. "Leave me alone," Natsu muttered, turning to leave. He wondered when Happy would be back; he'd sent his familiar off to see what he could find when Natsu couldn't come up with any mythics to fight. Happy ought to be back soon, he thought, and when he was…

Loke tried to speak and an inferno erupted from Natsu like a sudden volcanic explosion. "Leave me alone!" he bellowed, flames shooting outward. They charred the world black, melting all of the snow within the vicinity. Loke was gone when he looked up, chest heaving.

Furious, Natsu shoved a hand through his hair and yanked sharply at the pink strands.

"I'm done," Natsu repeated a third time, this time a little uncertainly.

He couldn't do this anymore - couldn't stand here and try to ignore the pain that wouldn't leave him in peace to properly grieve his missing Marked One. It was impossible, when he felt that hole that should have been filled with Lucy.

"Your Keeper is not the only one who can see what the Fates offer, boy, and I look forward to seeing you become like me when you lose her because of your own stupidity."

No more.

This, Natsu thought as he knelt among the flame and ash and sank his fingers into the stone, was all Levy's fault. Levy's, and Jellal's, and everyone else who'd refused him.

"Help me," he'd begged her upon arriving at the Archives. The Archives had greeted him with violence and hatred, daring him to enter and forcing him to make his pleas outside. "I can't do this anymore."

Levy had turned him away. "No," she'd said sorrowfully, her guilt evident. Even Gajeel had looked sympathetic, and it had only angered Natsu further. He'd let flames spiral above him, threateningly. Gajeel hadn't even moved an inch, even when Natsu tried to shove the book he'd stolen back from Jellal's fortress into his hands.

"Do something," he'd begged, though he'd known it to be impossible.

"No."

He'd done the same to Makarov and his council. He'd gone to each one, demanding they help him find some way to help him, to do some unknown spell, so he didn't have to be this way anymore. So he didn't have to feel that emptiness another day. So he didn't have to feel that creeping fear that refused to leave him.

Each one had refused him.

"All that work," Gray had said quietly when he'd approached him. Juvia had been there, too, tears in her eyes. "Everything Lucy did for you, and you're going to throw it all in her face by asking us to find a way to seal you away? She told me what that book said - that you were sealed away for destroying Crocus. That was the very last thing she wanted, Natsu."

In the end, he'd left the book with Juvia, who'd come to him later. "I can't help you the way you want me to," she'd told him. "But I want to help." So, he'd handed the book to her and had gone on his way, a decision already made.

Natsu snorted, scraping a black talon over the stone to carve intricate sigils into it. They didn't get it - didn't understand like Lucy would have. He hadn't wanted to destroy Crocus. They'd left him no other option. He knew it would work; why else would it have been recorded in a history book? So, he'd dropped Happy off with Wendy and had left, heading northwest.

For three days and three nights, Natsu had ravaged Fiore. He'd left a trail of devastation still burning hours after he was gone. He did his best to avoid casualties; even as angry with everyone as he was, he still couldn't bring himself to purposefully kill those who didn't deserve it.

Just once, Loke had tried to speak with him. Natsu had dismissed him. He would still be their Guardian - he just needed rest. He just needed respite from the emptiness. His heart was so heavy, so full of loss and pain and loneliness. He needed a break, before it sent him spiraling down the road of no return, and no one had been willing to help him get it.

"Help me," he'd begged them all. For the first time in recent history, Natsu Dragneel, the Demon King, had begged for help, and no one had come.

So...he'd force their hand. Before they found not Natsu, but END on their doorsteps, falling back on Zeref's orders to carve a world of ruin out of order and life.

Painstakingly, he carved his letter to her into that stone, ignoring the roar of black fire that surrounded him as he knelt before the ruined Gate. He wrote of his grief and loss, wrote of his anger and despair. He wrote of how sorry he was for what he'd done, and requested her forgiveness, because he knew she would be disappointed in his decision.

And when he was finished, Natsu stood among the debris of the Eclipse Gate. For just a moment, he considered seeing if there was any way of traveling through them himself to find her. But without Lucy, the Gates couldn't open.

He turned towards the city of Crocus and sank back, back, back, shielding himself with a wall of ancient wicked magic. Secure, he started forward, letting the inferno continue spilling into the world around him, letting that magic overtake him even more than it had during his battle against Acnologia.

Help me, he'd begged, and no one had come.

So, Natsu would help himself - just as he always had.

And on the final day that marked the end of the Lost Years, the lost city of Crocus burned at the hands of the Demon King.

End of Part IV

We've made it to the end of Part IV! Ahhhhh! I love this chapter. Next, onto Part V! I'll do my typical part announcement around Thursday and then a normal chapter next weekend. ;)

Thanks to reviewers (Feli 123, rao hyuga 18, polinar, XxCelestialAssassinxX, AthomeinFairytail, Lovetoreadff, TigerArrowgirl, madaraswife, Guest #1, valerioux, Klaus, itsxoi, lcr0718, Eris21471224, Uchida Akira, Meow Orbit, Jcat007, Krisart610, guest #2, nerdalertwarning, stranger1999, Sele de la Luna, Kisa7221, SistershoOk, LayLay lives, Kaisha00, Bookwork129, and BeautifulSamurai!) as well as those who favorited and followed!